I'm trying..somtimes i feel that trying is not going to change anything. sometimes i think about ending it.jumping in front of a Bart train and just leave...leave everything. but then i think about my family and how much they care. then i think of my future. i really want to grow...
brother in jail
I look around finding MYself being blocked by HER own fears
this isnt a game she tells me
you lost she screams
hearing violets voice again
burn thoughts coming back to haunt me
you know your future she tells me
hold this knife im here with you
i ask myself over and over again am i running away?
what if i start to ask myself that what if question?
im confused im scared
i honestly dont know were im going
im sick im drained
im pissed im happy
i crave arms to be wraped around me
not the arms of family or friends...
that is when i well go to the other side
to feel something
because in the dark
my soul is captured
dragged in..surrendered to him
i am so weak to his lust his touch
my core ,my heart,my mind,..
to much to handle at night
Never walk away from someone you love...that was somthing i couldnt do . I gave up my frienship with amber because i wasnt ready to face the fact that she picked someone over me.Yes i could have just been a good friend and said "oh i understand ." but when your use to...
"why does she cover her face?" they askyou would see my pastyou would see my futureyou would see my presenti have nothing to offeryou may not see my eyesyou may not see the tears i have lostyou may not see the worry they causeyou may not see the hope i haveyou can not see the...
The pain that made me suffer is intense, It is not emotionally but physically,
I wanna forget those days of pain but everytime I remember it I feel much stronger and I learned how to take care of my self.
This pain I suffered for more than a year due to PID is gone now.
A lust for love is a lust for pain. i never knew that until it was over :(. i wanted to feel love to much that i didn't realize what i have done to myself. being in 7th grade and having you life turned around was something i couldn't control. when you lust for something...
.......i have to learn to get over things stop hating myself for what happen and just live life !........i am only 14 i really need to just act and live my age and stop being so dramaticp.s i am going to only write stories when i have a breakdown no more breakdowns yep yep...
Well, this feeling never goes away. The feeling of sadness, pain, jealousy & despair each time I think about you, Manu. You were the perfecr girl for me, yet differences which you stressed out so much seperated us. How could you? How could you leave the guy you said you loved so...
following my dreams being in the spot light
but i cant be attached
everyone dies .its a fact its something that everyone knows yet everyone walks around acting oblivious to the fact...im scared i scared to lose my family
im scared to be something and see that everything i have...
you knowa thousand times i have thought about killing myselfbut honestlyI DONT WANT TOI WANT TO BE ABLE TO LIVE MY LIFE BE SUCCESFULLGO TO HARVARDTRAVELSEE THE WORLDNOT BURIED UNDER THE GROUNDi need to learn to handle the painand if i cant ....ill get helpovercome what happened...
is it normal to have a ****** up life and still be happy?.....That is what i told myself . i wanted to believe that i could live half a life and still be happy. What i meant by half a life is that i really was not being a kid . i was in love with a 21 year old who didn't...
do i love god..see i don't know
i am not afraid to say that i do not have a relationship with god
im slowly getting their taking each step cautiosly
reading every scripture that is thrown at me
slowly feeling grace flow inside me
when you ask someone why they love god their...
i cant get over it.
i cant get over anything in life
im constantly going over it in my head over and over trying to make since of everything.life is to real. feelings are to real for me to just forget everything . i cant handle most of the thoughts i feel but that doesnt mean im...
If you were to ask me to draw a picture of my souli would draw you flowers to show that i am growing .........only when the sun touches mei would draw a shadow of my past lingering over meA sky .......to symbolize my peacei would draw you my eyes that will show you my soulbut...
when i pray to you i cry
i cry because i know how tired i am
i cry because im lost
i cry because im sick.
do you know how it feel to wonder around life clueless, to read books to look around and not know how it was made or why it was made
when i pray i cry ,i cry because im...
i breathe in you
dear god i ask you to watch over the ones that can not be stopped
god i ask you to watch over the ones that have given up
the people who want to walk that line but cant
cant because their legs have been bruised beaten to death by each and every sin they...
my brothers in jail .....just when everything becomes great something bad has to happen ......i wish i did not love my brother...i wish it didn't effect me.......im scared...im scared that ill just give up an kill myself..this is not normal..i am not normal everything is just to...
Sorry about yesterday i began to feel frustrated ....When you blame someone for messing up apart of your life and you realize its been you this whole time .....its scary ...Why/? Because you began to.... Well i began to wonder if my...
you do not scare people into going into heaven that's not and well never be how you do things
its not fear that should lead people its respect, respect god enough to do the things you do
i honestly don't know if i well go to hell or not but i know that its not the reason to why i...
every tear i feel going down on my face im stuck...confused
i dont know whats wrong with me
why am i crying
this doesnt make since i went to theropy i talk about it a hundred times i have wrote about it yet im still crying
i feel as if im deing slowly
i dont understand
...it hurts...i don't know if i can handle these extremely powerful emotions
i wanted to tell her that i want to be hers tonight
but i couldn't even do that!
i cried...every time i tried to force the words...i cried
ive learned that being in love at a young age...isnt ok
there something said about the people who waits for the sun to rise to close their eyes
the way they hide from the bright light
almost as if they want to be unseen
each tear rolling down their faces as the time past
laughing at their own mistakes
poisoning themselves with drunken...
i cant feel you
i feel as if your so far away from me
my heart is acing for your touch my heart cant handle not feeling you
i didn't mean to make her cry i just wanted to know how can someone know what they are feeling is real
i could feel the battle she was fighting with...
always out side. Thinking about things. Its my mental purge.
Here today I reach out and touched and was touched back emotionally. It took my breath like an electric shock and all the pain I have ever felt or caused.
My first pain was watching my first puppy run over when I...