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I Remember Feeling Pain

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 73 People

    Little By Little

    I'm trying..somtimes i feel that trying is not going to change anything. sometimes i think about ending it.jumping in front of a Bart train and just leave...leave everything. but then i think about my family and how much they care. then i think of my future. i really want to grow...
    violetkillsme violetkillsme 16-17, F Oct 26, 2012

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    I cant... i'm content in living my life

    following my dreams being in the spot light but i cant be attached everyone dies .its a fact its something that everyone knows yet everyone walks around acting oblivious to the fact...im scared i scared to lose my family im scared to be something and see that everything i have...
    violetkillsme violetkillsme 16-17, F 1 Response May 25

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    Hey

    Just wanted to say I'm still here.....
    violetkillsme violetkillsme 16-17, F Apr 26, 2012

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    A Lust For Pain? Part 1

      A lust for love is a lust for pain. i never knew that until it was over :(.  i wanted to feel love to much that i didn't realize what i have done to myself. being in 7th grade and having you life turned around was something i couldn't control. when you lust for something...
    violetkillsme violetkillsme 16-17, F Jul 29, 2011

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    Still Here

    you knowa thousand times i have thought about killing myselfbut honestlyI DONT WANT TOI WANT TO BE ABLE TO LIVE MY LIFE BE SUCCESFULLGO TO HARVARDTRAVELSEE THE WORLDNOT BURIED UNDER THE GROUNDi need to learn to handle the painand if i cant ....ill get helpovercome what happened...
    violetkillsme violetkillsme 16-17, F Oct 29, 2011

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    A Lust For Pain Part 2

        Never walk away from someone you love...that was somthing i couldnt do . I gave up my frienship with amber because i wasnt ready to face the fact that she picked someone over me.Yes i could have just been a good friend and said "oh i understand ." but when your use to...
    violetkillsme violetkillsme 16-17, F Jul 30, 2011

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    Fly To Me

    i breathe in you dear god i ask you to watch over the ones that can not be stopped god i ask you to watch over the ones that have given up the people who want to walk that line but cant cant because their legs have been bruised beaten to death by each and every sin they...
    violetkillsme violetkillsme 16-17, F Jun 17, 2013

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    Shelter

    "why does she cover her face?" they askyou would see my pastyou would see my futureyou would see my presenti have nothing to offeryou may not see my eyesyou may not see the tears i have lostyou may not see the worry they causeyou may not see the hope i haveyou can not see the...
    violetkillsme violetkillsme 16-17, F Nov 11, 2011

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    Why I Can't Forget You

    Well, this feeling never goes away. The feeling of sadness, pain, jealousy & despair each time I think about you, Manu. You were the perfecr girl for me, yet differences which you stressed out so much seperated us. How could you? How could you leave the guy you said you loved so...
    manesh515 manesh515 22-25, M Apr 26, 2012

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    God Must Hate Me

    brother in jail moms sick I look around finding MYself being blocked by HER own fears this isnt a game she tells me you lost she screams hearing violets voice again burn thoughts coming back to haunt me you know your future she tells me hold this knife im here with you i...
    violetkillsme violetkillsme 16-17, F 2 Responses Sep 23, 2011

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    ....

    every tear i feel going down on my face im stuck...confused i dont know whats wrong with me why am i crying this doesnt make since i went to theropy i talk about it a hundred times i have wrote about it yet im still crying i feel as if im deing slowly i dont understand i...
    violetkillsme violetkillsme 16-17, F Jul 27, 2013

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    Rjg

    that is when i well go to the other side to feel something because in the dark my soul is captured dragged in..surrendered to him i am so weak to his lust his touch my core ,my heart,my mind,.. to much to handle at night
    violetkillsme violetkillsme 16-17, F Jun 19, 2013

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    One Down..So Many To Go

    i cant feel you i feel as if your so far away from me my heart is acing for your touch my heart cant handle not feeling you i didn't mean to make her cry i just wanted to know how can someone know what they are feeling is real i could feel the battle she was fighting with...
    violetkillsme violetkillsme 16-17, F Jun 19, 2013

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    A Letter To God

    when i pray to you i cry i cry because i know how tired i am i cry because im lost i cry because im sick. do you know how it feel to wonder around life clueless, to read books to look around and not know how it was made or why it was made when i pray i cry ,i cry because im...
    violetkillsme violetkillsme 16-17, F Jun 16, 2013

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    Rsoses

    i cant get over it. i cant get over anything in life im constantly going over it in my head over and over trying to make since of everything.life is to real. feelings are to real for me to just forget everything . i cant handle most of the thoughts i feel but that doesnt mean im...
    violetkillsme violetkillsme 16-17, F Apr 4, 2013

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    Falling In Depresion pt1

      is it normal to have a ****** up life and still be happy?.....That is what i told myself . i wanted to believe  that i could live half a life and still be happy. What i meant by half a life is that i really was not being a kid . i was in love with a 21 year old who didn't...
    violetkillsme violetkillsme 16-17, F Aug 4, 2011

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    ignorance is bliss

    you do not scare people into going into heaven that's not and well never be how you do things its not fear that should lead people its respect, respect god enough to do the things you do i honestly don't know if i well go to hell or not but i know that its not the reason to why i...
    violetkillsme violetkillsme 16-17, F Jun 18, 2013

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    Dont Touch Me

    there something said about the people who waits for the sun to rise to close their eyes the way they hide from the bright light almost as if they want to be unseen each tear rolling down their faces as the time past laughing at their own mistakes poisoning themselves with drunken...
    violetkillsme violetkillsme 16-17, F 1 Response Jul 27, 2013

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    Wanted

    i ask myself over and over again am i running away? what if i start to ask myself that what if question? im confused im scared i honestly dont know were im going im sick im drained im pissed im happy i crave arms to be wraped around me not the arms of family or friends...
    violetkillsme violetkillsme 16-17, F Sep 10, 2012

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    The Pain That Made Me Suffer

    The pain that made me suffer is intense, It is not emotionally but physically, I wanna forget those days of pain but everytime I remember it I feel much stronger and I learned how to take care of my self. This pain I suffered for more than a year due to PID is gone now. I...
    Ladymix23 Ladymix23 26-30, F Sep 11, 2013

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    Seated In The Back Seat

    do i love god..see i don't know i am not afraid to say that i do not have a relationship with god im slowly getting their taking each step cautiosly reading every scripture that is thrown at me slowly feeling grace flow inside me when you ask someone why they love god their...
    violetkillsme violetkillsme 16-17, F Jun 18, 2013

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    A Lust For Pain Part 3 The End ...for Now

                     Sorry about yesterday i began to feel frustrated ....When you blame someone for messing up apart of your life and you  realize its been you this whole time .....its scary ...Why/?      Because you began to.... Well i began to wonder if  my...
    violetkillsme violetkillsme 16-17, F Aug 1, 2011

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    Draw A Picture

    If you were to ask me to draw a picture of my souli would draw you flowers to show that i am growing .........only when the sun touches mei would draw a shadow of my past lingering over meA sky .......to symbolize my peacei would draw you my eyes   that will show you my soulbut...
    violetkillsme violetkillsme 16-17, F Dec 1, 2011

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    Cant

    my brothers in jail .....just when everything becomes great something bad has to happen ......i wish i did not love my brother...i wish it didn't effect me.......im scared...im scared that ill just give up an kill myself..this is not normal..i am not normal everything is just to...
    violetkillsme violetkillsme 16-17, F Sep 14, 2011

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    Killing

    .......i have to learn to get over things stop hating myself for what happen and just live life !........i am only 14 i really need to just act and live my age and stop being so dramaticp.s i am  going to only write stories when i have a breakdown no more breakdowns yep yep...
    violetkillsme violetkillsme 16-17, F 1 Response Aug 13, 2011

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    Iefh

    people are deing babies are living yet everyone never stops to find answers no one never wants to know
    violetkillsme violetkillsme 16-17, F Jun 16, 2013

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    Long Time No See

    Ready to kill my self with a big huge knife
    violetkillsme violetkillsme 16-17, F Aug 28, 2012

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    violetkillsme violetkillsme 16-17, F Feb 8, 2012

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    Being Inlove Again

    ...it hurts...i don't know if i can handle these extremely powerful emotions i wanted to tell her that i want to be hers tonight but i couldn't even do that! i cried...every time i tried to force the words...i cried ive learned that being in love at a young age...isnt ok it isnt...
    violetkillsme violetkillsme 16-17, F May 5, 2012

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    You're trapped in this room. There is no windows. There is no doors. There is no light. Though, you hear faint sounds of voices. They sound familiar, like they've been said before...
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    You were my very first love. You came to me during a bad period of my life, and changed me forever. You showed me that I need to have respect for myself, and to not put others on a...
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    To my EP friend One day .. we met you were a cool breeze that calmed my heart… It was so easy for me to talk to you, even though we have only known each other for a short time...
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    I changed my personality 3 times since I was born, cuz if I stayed the same I would've killed myself when I was 9. The first time i changed my personality was because of my...
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    Funny thing is , I'll hurt more if I let go than if I stay . That a sign that I'm not ready to give up ? I'm hurting myself being in love. He's my heart. Can anyone describe it...
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    I have been having a particularly hard weekend dealing with the loneliness of living with a spouse with chronic pain so I searched the web and found this site. As I read some of...
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    It wasn't a relationship break-up, but it was a break-up with a guy that I had feelings for. He had feelings for me too. He was the roommate of a close friend of mines at his...
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    I want to be remember as the girl Who was always smiling and laughing The one that never appeared sad The one that helped people through their pain even if they couldn't help...
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    My boyfriend (ex now) sent me this message after avoiding me for weeks, lying constantly to me, driving me insane and used me for two years while we are at university and now as I...
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    Just like three days grace says. Pain without love. Pain can't get enough. Pain I like it rough cause id rather feel pain than nothing at all. Could you imagine never feelingl...
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