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I Remember Feeling Pain

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 72 People

    Wanted

    i ask myself over and over again am i running away? what if i start to ask myself that what if question? im confused im scared i honestly dont know were im going im sick im drained im pissed im happy i crave arms to be wraped around me not the arms of family or friends...
    violetkillsme violetkillsme 16-17, F Sep 10, 2012

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    Falling In Depresion pt1

      is it normal to have a ****** up life and still be happy?.....That is what i told myself . i wanted to believe  that i could live half a life and still be happy. What i meant by half a life is that i really was not being a kid . i was in love with a 21 year old who didn't...
    violetkillsme violetkillsme 16-17, F Aug 4, 2011

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    Fly To Me

    i breathe in you dear god i ask you to watch over the ones that can not be stopped god i ask you to watch over the ones that have given up the people who want to walk that line but cant cant because their legs have been bruised beaten to death by each and every sin they...
    violetkillsme violetkillsme 16-17, F Jun 17, 2013

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    Rsoses

    i cant get over it. i cant get over anything in life im constantly going over it in my head over and over trying to make since of everything.life is to real. feelings are to real for me to just forget everything . i cant handle most of the thoughts i feel but that doesnt mean im...
    violetkillsme violetkillsme 16-17, F Apr 4, 2013

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    One Down..So Many To Go

    i cant feel you i feel as if your so far away from me my heart is acing for your touch my heart cant handle not feeling you i didn't mean to make her cry i just wanted to know how can someone know what they are feeling is real i could feel the battle she was fighting with...
    violetkillsme violetkillsme 16-17, F Jun 19, 2013

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    Being Inlove Again

    ...it hurts...i don't know if i can handle these extremely powerful emotions i wanted to tell her that i want to be hers tonight but i couldn't even do that! i cried...every time i tried to force the words...i cried ive learned that being in love at a young age...isnt ok it isnt...
    violetkillsme violetkillsme 16-17, F May 5, 2012

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    Iefh

    people are deing babies are living yet everyone never stops to find answers no one never wants to know
    violetkillsme violetkillsme 16-17, F Jun 16, 2013

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    Killing

    .......i have to learn to get over things stop hating myself for what happen and just live life !........i am only 14 i really need to just act and live my age and stop being so dramaticp.s i am  going to only write stories when i have a breakdown no more breakdowns yep yep...
    violetkillsme violetkillsme 16-17, F 1 Response Aug 13, 2011

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    violetkillsme violetkillsme 16-17, F Feb 8, 2012

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    ....

    every tear i feel going down on my face im stuck...confused i dont know whats wrong with me why am i crying this doesnt make since i went to theropy i talk about it a hundred times i have wrote about it yet im still crying i feel as if im deing slowly i dont understand i...
    violetkillsme violetkillsme 16-17, F Jul 27, 2013

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    Rjg

    that is when i well go to the other side to feel something because in the dark my soul is captured dragged in..surrendered to him i am so weak to his lust his touch my core ,my heart,my mind,.. to much to handle at night
    violetkillsme violetkillsme 16-17, F Jun 19, 2013

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    Seated In The Back Seat

    do i love god..see i don't know i am not afraid to say that i do not have a relationship with god im slowly getting their taking each step cautiosly reading every scripture that is thrown at me slowly feeling grace flow inside me when you ask someone why they love god their...
    violetkillsme violetkillsme 16-17, F Jun 18, 2013

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    I cant... i'm content in living my life

    following my dreams being in the spot light but i cant be attached everyone dies .its a fact its something that everyone knows yet everyone walks around acting oblivious to the fact...im scared i scared to lose my family im scared to be something and see that everything i have...
    violetkillsme violetkillsme 16-17, F 1 Response May 25, 2014

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    ignorance is bliss

    you do not scare people into going into heaven that's not and well never be how you do things its not fear that should lead people its respect, respect god enough to do the things you do i honestly don't know if i well go to hell or not but i know that its not the reason to why i...
    violetkillsme violetkillsme 16-17, F Jun 18, 2013

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    God Must Hate Me

    brother in jail moms sick I look around finding MYself being blocked by HER own fears this isnt a game she tells me you lost she screams hearing violets voice again burn thoughts coming back to haunt me you know your future she tells me hold this knife im here with you i...
    violetkillsme violetkillsme 16-17, F 2 Responses Sep 23, 2011

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    Long Time No See

    Ready to kill my self with a big huge knife
    violetkillsme violetkillsme 16-17, F Aug 28, 2012

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    A Letter To God

    when i pray to you i cry i cry because i know how tired i am i cry because im lost i cry because im sick. do you know how it feel to wonder around life clueless, to read books to look around and not know how it was made or why it was made when i pray i cry ,i cry because im...
    violetkillsme violetkillsme 16-17, F Jun 16, 2013

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    The Pain That Made Me Suffer

    The pain that made me suffer is intense, It is not emotionally but physically, I wanna forget those days of pain but everytime I remember it I feel much stronger and I learned how to take care of my self. This pain I suffered for more than a year due to PID is gone now. I...
    Ladymix23 Ladymix23 26-30, F Sep 11, 2013

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    Dont Touch Me

    there something said about the people who waits for the sun to rise to close their eyes the way they hide from the bright light almost as if they want to be unseen each tear rolling down their faces as the time past laughing at their own mistakes poisoning themselves with drunken...
    violetkillsme violetkillsme 16-17, F 1 Response Jul 27, 2013

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    Little By Little

    I'm trying..somtimes i feel that trying is not going to change anything. sometimes i think about ending it.jumping in front of a Bart train and just leave...leave everything. but then i think about my family and how much they care. then i think of my future. i really want to grow...
    violetkillsme violetkillsme 16-17, F Oct 26, 2012

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    Why I Can't Forget You

    Well, this feeling never goes away. The feeling of sadness, pain, jealousy & despair each time I think about you, Manu. You were the perfecr girl for me, yet differences which you stressed out so much seperated us. How could you? How could you leave the guy you said you loved so...
    manesh515 manesh515 22-25, M Apr 26, 2012

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    Draw A Picture

    If you were to ask me to draw a picture of my souli would draw you flowers to show that i am growing .........only when the sun touches mei would draw a shadow of my past lingering over meA sky .......to symbolize my peacei would draw you my eyes   that will show you my soulbut...
    violetkillsme violetkillsme 16-17, F Dec 1, 2011

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    A Lust For Pain Part 2

        Never walk away from someone you love...that was somthing i couldnt do . I gave up my frienship with amber because i wasnt ready to face the fact that she picked someone over me.Yes i could have just been a good friend and said "oh i understand ." but when your use to...
    violetkillsme violetkillsme 16-17, F Jul 30, 2011

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    A Lust For Pain? Part 1

      A lust for love is a lust for pain. i never knew that until it was over :(.  i wanted to feel love to much that i didn't realize what i have done to myself. being in 7th grade and having you life turned around was something i couldn't control. when you lust for something...
    violetkillsme violetkillsme 16-17, F Jul 29, 2011

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    Hey

    Just wanted to say I'm still here.....
    violetkillsme violetkillsme 16-17, F Apr 26, 2012

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    Shelter

    "why does she cover her face?" they askyou would see my pastyou would see my futureyou would see my presenti have nothing to offeryou may not see my eyesyou may not see the tears i have lostyou may not see the worry they causeyou may not see the hope i haveyou can not see the...
    violetkillsme violetkillsme 16-17, F Nov 11, 2011

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    A Lust For Pain Part 3 The End ...for Now

                     Sorry about yesterday i began to feel frustrated ....When you blame someone for messing up apart of your life and you  realize its been you this whole time .....its scary ...Why/?      Because you began to.... Well i began to wonder if  my...
    violetkillsme violetkillsme 16-17, F Aug 1, 2011

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    Cant

    my brothers in jail .....just when everything becomes great something bad has to happen ......i wish i did not love my brother...i wish it didn't effect me.......im scared...im scared that ill just give up an kill myself..this is not normal..i am not normal everything is just to...
    violetkillsme violetkillsme 16-17, F Sep 14, 2011

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    Still Here

    you knowa thousand times i have thought about killing myselfbut honestlyI DONT WANT TOI WANT TO BE ABLE TO LIVE MY LIFE BE SUCCESFULLGO TO HARVARDTRAVELSEE THE WORLDNOT BURIED UNDER THE GROUNDi need to learn to handle the painand if i cant ....ill get helpovercome what happened...
    violetkillsme violetkillsme 16-17, F Oct 29, 2011

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    Related Experiences

    Im tired of living each day and feeling so much pain and always upsetting people...please anyone if you can kill me for the love of all that's holy....please
    poeticnightmare poeticnightmare 18-21, M 3 Responses 2 hrs ago

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    In February 2014 I fell on the ice at work and injured my shoulder. I tried several different treatments to advoid having surgery. ( Physical Therapy for several months...
    lover2kids lover2kids 56-60, F 9 hrs ago

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    I have a high pain tolerance, but chronic pain just wears you down. I constantly push it down and get on with my life and hide it from people. I still do things I shouldn't, but I...
    Bushmanoz Bushmanoz 51-55, M 2 Responses 4 hrs ago

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    Everything I hold dear seems far away. The boat I’m sitting in is drifting out to sea, further away, always on the brink of capsizing. The mainland vanishes and soon is out of...
    mishale80 mishale80 31-35, F 17 hrs ago

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    What Causes Neck Pain and How to Treat It (http://luv2sex.theblogpress.com/?p=4058) Ever wonder what causes neck pain? It’s time to take steps to heal your neck pain so you can...
    how2stayyoung how2stayyoung 51-55, M 19 hrs ago

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    So my feelings sort of made me "burst" tonight...and I wish I could hit rewind. I was so exhausted and worn out by everyone and was feeling pretty depressed today. I received a...
    TiraVara TiraVara 22-25, F 18 hrs ago

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    What is your favourite colour to paint your nails?
    Germanic Germanic 18-21, T 13 Responses 17 hrs ago

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    I have been up most of the night, thinking and feeling extremely sad over my recent loss. I miss her terribly and this breakup has left me feeling so sad because it's something I...
    lavendersea lavendersea 41-45, F 1 Response 13 hrs ago

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    did this in microsoft paint and touched it up a bit in sai. i think ill make more of her!
    BobButBackwords BobButBackwords 18-21, M 8 hrs ago

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    At a painting class right now! It's about to start. I came alone, not with a friend. I find this very peaceful and relaxing and my time alone to reflect. :)
    Mizpoppy Mizpoppy 26-30, F 2 hrs ago

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    I need some quick and relatively painless ideas. No guns though. I have a patient at work that tried with a gun and failed and his life is far worse than it was and he is unable to...
    nothingandno1 nothingandno1 26-30, F 1 hr ago

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    He didn't break up with me. I did. It was painful. There was tears, crying, anger but in the end it was the right thing for the both of us to do. We were together for two years and...
    Horse10202 Horse10202 18-21, F 1 Response Jan 3

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    There is no way to substantiate what I am about to say, but then I guess this is not about proof. Through the help of others, I have learned that I have been around for a little...
    Drachona Drachona 18-21 Jan 17

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    Do you know the feeling that you need to be strong when around your family and also maybe friends even if you worried or sad... That you can't show it? I have crps and have had...
    kristhy kristhy 22-25, F 1 Response a week ago

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    The Death of My Godfather This happened a number of years ago but it feels just as painful now as it did at the time when i got the bad news about my godfather's death.He was not...
    dragonfang dragonfang 51-55, M Jan 2

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    Hidden by sib232228 Why do we give up what's valuable to us because of our friends? The answer is simple friends are valuable. Friends and family are the most valuable things...
    Sib232228 Sib232228 16-17, F 1 Response Jan 3

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    A lot of times I just want to cry To let out all the pain in the past The trauma of existing, being stretched between the fighting In the midst of the most serious of battles That...
    Hey4yu Hey4yu 18-21, F Jan 4

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    I like pain, it gives me a feeling that I do not get elsewhere. I like to think that I couldn't possibly take any more and then manage to do it. I like the feeling of bruises the...
    Leiya28 Leiya28 26-30, F 1 Response 3 days ago

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    When he looked at my eyes the very first time, I knew it was something different. I still can't explain that feeling-something so strong and different that I didn't have any...
    AmberDD AmberDD 22-25, F Jan 3