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I Sabotage Myself Regularly

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 641 People

    Sabotage Is Subconscious

    Good to know that with 39 other people in this group I'm not the only self-sabotager.  It's something that took me a while to understand about myself.  I think it is subconscious b/c I don't go around telling myself that I don't want success or that I don't deserve it...
    ReformedAutomaton ReformedAutomaton 36-40, M 1 Response May 16, 2007

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    Self Destructive

    I'm well aware that I 'sabotage' myself all the time. If things are going too well/good I purposely do something to take that away from myself or mess it up some how. It's usually just mentally/emotionally but can and has become physical in the past. I just don't know why. I don...
    Kottan Kottan 22-25, F Aug 13, 2011

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    Oh I Do, Everyday

     I am leaving for Philadelphia in two days.  I am starting a new chapter in my life.  Am I excited?  Sort of... I find it very hard to allow myself to be happy sometimes- most of the time.     I'm tired of taking antidepressants, tired of all...
    apencilfornow apencilfornow 26-30, F 5 Responses Oct 27, 2008

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    Yep, I Do, Not Regularly Thoug...

    Yep, I do, not regularly though. But I do do it. I sabotage potential relationships, and budding friendships because I don't want to disappoint anyone, or let anyone down.  With friendships/relationships, come expectations, and I'm not one to live up to those expectations. I...
    Wombles Wombles 36-40, F 2 Responses Dec 30, 2006

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    Reckless With Me.

    Here's what I know: He's bad for me. He's hurt me before. He's still into his ex and not looking for a relationship with anyone. Just fun. I say that I'm not looking for a relationship either and just want to see what happens. But that's not true. I've spent months torturing...
    lostinwunderland lostinwunderland 18-21, F Apr 29, 2011

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    All the F***ing Time.  If...

    All the f***ing time.  If anyone can give me some clues as to why, that would be great.
    Whatever Whatever 26-30, M Jan 22, 2007

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    I Get Bored

    well when im in any kind of program or with friends or new people, when i get bored i have a tendancy to start somthing maybe ill purposly mess something up and ill ruin a friendship or my own work conciously
    rocks3000 rocks3000 18-21 1 Response Aug 1, 2009

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    I Think the Main Problem Is...

    I'm a clutz and I randomly say things that should've been left unsaid. I don't sabotage myself entirely...but...I do it to a point where it's embarrasing
    WalktwoMoons WalktwoMoons 16-17, F 2 Responses Jan 10, 2009

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    Really Frustrated With Self

    I just regularly self sabotage myself and I am at a huge level of frustration and feeling like a failure in this world. I do it with Money constantly. I have dream of buying a home. My whole life money has been tight and hard to come by. I made some huge mistakes years ago and...
    jen9842 jen9842 41-45, F 1 Response Aug 2, 2012

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    I Do This Too...

    Sooo, I'm new to the EP, but not new to this behavior. I'm actually sabotaging myself right now. I work from home, which is what I should have been doing since 9pm yet I sat at my desk, put on my headset logged in. Instead of working I sat there thinking about how much I didn't...
    browneyedgirl1980 browneyedgirl1980 31-35 1 Response Jul 1, 2011

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    Unhappy

    I think my problem is low self esteem, and confidence. whenever I get close to being happy in my life I ruin it whether subconsciously or not. I don't feel like I deserve to be happy so I make myself unhappy.
    Peep22 Peep22 22-25, F 2 Responses Dec 5, 2010

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    All to Myself

    I do it all the time all by myself.  I don't need any help.  I criticize.  I fear. I worry.  I love too much and too strongly.  Hold onto the thought of entertaining a man.  I can pretty much always find a way to send him running, a gift I guess...
    deleted deleted 26-30 4 Responses Sep 5, 2008

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    Never Intentionally, But I Usu...

    Never intentionally, but I usually end up making stupid mistakes that have huge consequences.
    LadyOfTheRaven LadyOfTheRaven 19-21, F 2 Responses Dec 29, 2006

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    Why Not Learn?

    I know I'm going to screw my maths-a-levels up if I don't learn. And so far I didn't learn anything. And somehow I feel that I know ... that I won't.
    GothGrrrl GothGrrrl 18-21, F 1 Response May 4, 2007

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    Dont Know How This Habbit Started

    I never used to be this way. I don't know how it happened. :( I'm scared as to how its going to effect me in my future.
    RitaRee RitaRee 22-25, F May 24, 2011

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    And I Know Why

    when I was a child, I showed a lot of potential for a lot of things.  my mom always told me, "if you do learn the piano, you'll have to practice every day, or else you'll lose it all."  "you need to draw all of the time or you'll lose that ability...
    SeraphicWannabe SeraphicWannabe 22-25, M 1 Response Oct 28, 2008

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    Sabotage

    Sabotage,I do it,Don't know why,Seems to happen,Every now and then,One day,I'll learn,Not to do it.
    lazycrazybasket lazycrazybasket 46-50, M Oct 4, 2011

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    Fear of Failure, Perhaps?

    all i have to do is make a phone call, put it in the mailbox, sign it, or whatever the case may be.  but i just don't do it.  why? it's not as if i'm lazy.  it's not as if i want the additional stress to deal with.  it's not like i enjoy this.  but why...
    AbbyNormal AbbyNormal 31-35, F 3 Responses May 28, 2007

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    I Never Shoot Myself In the Fo...

    I never shoot myself in the foot DELIBERATLEY
    gardyngrrrl gardyngrrrl 41-45, F Jan 22, 2007

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    What do you do when 'way too drunk' happens

    every time you drink? I overestimate my limit every. single. time.
    quesahara quesahara 22-25, F Mar 22

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    Over And Over

    I keep messing the one thing that means anything to me up. I am so much in love with Jason and everytime I get things going great I do something stupid, always while I'm on Xanax and mess it up. Right now I am trying to fix the last time I totally went and screwed everything up...
    Steener2492 Steener2492 26-30, F Dec 6, 2010

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    Disarray

    Today.  I had a list, things to be done, places to go.  Swimmingly.Then I went to get my wallet from my bag.Then from my jacket.Then from my car.Then from under the sofa.Then from everywhere else it might be in the house.Then phoned the place I was last, last evening.Then...
    CrookedMan CrookedMan 46-50 3 Responses Jun 18, 2011

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    I sabotage my personal relationships,

    a lot! I am very outgoing. I tend to meet new people everywhere I go. I talk a lot and at the same time, I know a lot of things. People naturally gravitate towards me so I have no problem getting dates despite not looking like I just stepped out of a Victoria's Secret catalogue...
    carlyistortious carlyistortious 22-25, F 1 Response Mar 21

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    Someone Stop Me Please!!

    i am insisting on making  someone i care about mad at me.( i was practicing tough love with a problelm he's having. i suck at tough love i suppose. lol)   i guess since others i have cared about deeply have bailed. if i run him off, then i am not sitting here waiting for it...
    darlinsam darlinsam 36-40, F 2 Responses Feb 6, 2011

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    Sad Cycle

    I emotionally beat myself up and criticize myself for every little thing. "Could I have said that better?" / "Did I do something to make them dislike me?" / "Does he think I'm terrible?" / "Maybe I shouldn't have said that?" I wish I could...
    paperalias paperalias 22-25, F 4 Responses Jun 4, 2008

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    I live in squaller. I think I do it on purpose

    so I can blame poverty for not finding any success as an artist
    tarkovsky tarkovsky 26-30, M 2 Responses Apr 7

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    Just One Fix

    http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=wbXciBKcfQ8&feature=related
    Rapture82 Rapture82 31-35, F 2 Responses Jan 1, 2013

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    I Used To But I Don't Any ...

    I used to but i don't any more.
    CorderGurl09 CorderGurl09 16-18, F Dec 30, 2006

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    I Run Away From Being Happy

    I'm REALLY happy with my on-again/off-again boyfriend. We have been through alot together. The reason we have been off and on is because i sabotage us. He's even said "it seems like everytime things start going for us you go off and do something-why" and i dont know why...
    firefly21 firefly21 22-25, F Mar 30, 2009

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    Unfortunately Yes, I Wish I Wa...

    unfortunately yes, I wish I was more clear thinking.
    elliemoomoo elliemoomoo 21-25, F Dec 30, 2006

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    At Least Once A Week

    i don't know why. it just seems like i screw myself over on a regular basis. maybe i just  need to be reminded that i'm not perfect. maybe. but every time i decide i'm going to do something, i shove wrench in it. maybe i'm just so afraid of failure that i destroy my...
    juggalove juggalove 31-35, F 1 Response May 20, 2010

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    But I'm Learning From It

    I'm so ready to leave this behind me. I've made mistakes in the past, have pushed people away and have let good opportunities pass me by. But I'm leaving this behind and I've learned from my mistakes and some of my mistakes were simply innoccent ones, some were done out of fear...
    moonlitReveries moonlitReveries 22-25, F 2 Responses May 27, 2009

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    Defence Thing

    It's my way of protecting my heart but a lot of times it hurts more. Push Push Push them all away and then wonder why I'm all alone. Sad cycle but tis true.
    mysplitpersonality mysplitpersonality 36-40, F 2 Responses Dec 2, 2008

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    All I Needed to Do Was Mail the Damn Thing.

    Today I had the opportunity to send my headshot to a commercial agency to get a meeting on a solid referral, and I didn't, because I'm afraid not only of rejection, but of my own potential for success.
    SarahCampbell SarahCampbell 26-30, F 1 Response Oct 3, 2006

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    Or I Can Dare to Live

    This topic fascinates me.  Think about it.  Why would we screw ourselves over when there's plenty of people ready and willing to keep us down? So I'll try to keep on point and address just what it means for me.   I must have a need to mess up good things...
    SeriouslySappy SeriouslySappy 51-55, F 13 Responses Oct 2, 2009

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    If You Mean Do  I Make Mi...

    If you mean do  I make misakes on purpose or fail to learn from them quick enough? Yep.
    insomnia2007 insomnia2007 26-30, M 2 Responses Dec 30, 2006

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    I Don't Have a Whole Lot to Say

    I just add drama when things start to get good.  I've read some things that state that some people do this because they've only known drama in childhood or whatever, so even though the yelling and everything was bad, it was familiar and home. so when things start to get...
    z1e1k z1e1k 21-25, F Jan 19, 2008

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    Need To Look For Jobs More, But...

    I graduated about a month ago, and need to look for full-time employment--one that'll pay the bills as well as Sally Mae, ya know? I've sent out atleast 50 resumes within the last 3 months. I'm still looking around, but for some reason when I seem to be close to the finish line...
    RitaRee RitaRee 22-25, F Jun 5, 2011

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    It's My Sad Truth

    I don't want to, I don't really mean to and I don't for the life of me understand why I do it, but I do and it's beginning to become a real inconvenience.
    randomdriftwood randomdriftwood 21-25, F 1 Response May 8, 2007

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    I Can't Help It!

    Maybe its because I try too much, then giveup fast! I always manage to sabotage myself and what I do. I work hard on things and then, boom, I somehow think I am not good enough, or what's the point, and I destroy things. Only after all is lost I see how I could have achieved my...
    LordVoldemort LordVoldemort 36-40, F 5 Responses Jan 19, 2009

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    Stupidly and Stubbornly

    i leave work until the last minute, i make myself think the worst of a situation sometimes, i stay up all night and waste the next day, i have bad attendance because im so tired because i have such an irregular sleeping pattern, take stupid risks i just wont learn from mistakes
    pixiedust pixiedust 21-25, F 5 Responses Jan 14, 2007

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    Slo Mo No Going Fast No Mo

    I am of the same as maybe a few hopefully some of you. Lol. I just git off the pot squeeking one iut for the gipper. I just am in awe of my own personal Dan Fielding-esque defense attorney who wore a leather jacket in to court and in all his grandiosity this character defective...
    deleted deleted 26-30 Oct 11, 2011

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    Talented Yet Troubled

    I have always been regarded as a very creative and talented person, except I am also a very troubled person. I even know Nicholas Cage, Someone who works at Showtime and most recently I even got to talk to Steve Buscemi (my major crush) for the first time. You think that someone...
    Deadlynightshade5 Deadlynightshade5 22-25, F 2 Responses Sep 14, 2013

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    This Is My M.o.

    T oday I was supposed to find a job. I was fired on Monday when my bosses decided they were unhappy with my performance. I think I was screwing up at work b/c I was sick of the job and being around those people all day, feeling judged and inadequate.  So now, my bf...
    endallbeall endallbeall 22-25 2 Responses Jan 8, 2009

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    Self Destruction

    I think it's depression that makes me do it, or a fear of failing. I find I make self destructive choices, my family says I can't finish anything. Which I guess I prove them right because everything I start, no matter how good it's going, I end it, abruptly. I just hit this...
    fiveminutestillbedtime fiveminutestillbedtime 31-35, F 2 Responses Aug 14, 2010

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    Yes - I have Often Told&n...

    Yes - I have often told stories about myself that show me in a negative light.  I'm not going to do it any more.
    CrystalCat CrystalCat 41-45, F 2 Responses Dec 30, 2006

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    I Want To Know The First Step To Stop Self Sabotage.

    I sabotage myself regularly. I just start trying, I tell myself that I cannot do it, someone like you does not deserve this, only the well-off will be a will to do this, and my personal favorite, who in the hell do you think you're kidding. I really want to go back to school. I...
    poohbear90 poohbear90 18-21, M 1 Response Oct 19, 2011

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    Sabotage

    Maybe not regularly, but more and more often. Especially now. I really need to stop it but I can't seem to do so.
    NotKLA NotKLA 18-21, M Apr 2, 2010

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    Related Experiences

    I Hate Myself Because Everyone seems to hate me and I seem to unconsciously sabotage everything good that happens in my life. I only seem to chase after people who hate me. But the...
    leticiajayne leticiajayne 13-15, F 1 Response Jun 28

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    I, I HATE myself. I hate myself so much. I hate myself so much, it's hard for me to explain just how much. I don't think you'll ever be able to comprehend the amount of hatred and...
    Kmarcum99 Kmarcum99 13-15, F 10 Responses 7 hrs ago

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    I don't know when did this start, but I've always considered myself as an ugly person, period. No one could convince me the opposite, I don't believe them! I have the talent for...
    youaremygift youaremygift 31-35, F 4 hrs ago

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    My dad was beating me for nothing cause he got mad at his girlfriend I went in my room put a rope on the ceiling fan and stand in a chair to hang myself and my mom ran in and took...
    tamaraiwannaknow tamaraiwannaknow 16-17, F 5 hrs ago

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    I regularly LEFT..... 1. People that caused me Nothing But Harm.. - No matter how much I love them or how much they love me or how much I meant to them. And wonderfully I just...
    9thguy 9thguy 26-30, M 6 days ago