I Say Things That Get Me Into Troubble

I alway say things that make people look at me weird. I've said things that have gotten me spanked by my parents, cussed out by cousins, bitchslapped by bitches, and spit on by sluts.
Seriously. Another reason to keep my stupid mouth...

I will have to give my friends names, otherwise this will get very complicated. Be rest assured that these names are fake.
 
My wife and I were out with two friends, Bert and Betty(hah! I told you they were fake) I was bert's...

I'm a Leo. That makes me passionate and hot headed. I get a bee in my bonnet about things and then forget to engage my brain before my mouth opens. I can hang, draw and quarter anyone at 50 paces. I wish sometimes I didn't care so much...

The title says it all. I can't say much more. Not without getting into more troubble anyway!

I get bored easy and write about whatever is most on my mind and sometimes what is on my mind should never really be said out loud. These times really end up getting me in trouble. Do I wish I could take those words back? Really the...