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I Secretly Suffer From An Eating Disorder

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 161 People

    Clueless

    I have been battling with Bulimia and Anorexia since I was 11. I have gone to the hospital twice from dehydration, my voice is always raspy, I always feel lightheaded, But my family has no idea. Sometimes I wish they would find out so I dont have to fight this anymore, but I'm...
    StarvedAndScarred StarvedAndScarred 18-21, F 2 Responses Feb 5, 2012

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    I Hate Myself..(possible Trigger For Some)

    I haven't been diagnosed with an eating disorder because I haven't seen a doctor personally about it. I just told my case manager I have body issues. I fit some of the criteria for anorexia nervosa, but I fit nearly all Ednos criteria. I am so ashamed. I have been binging several...
    brokenangel82 brokenangel82 26-30, F 3 Responses May 31, 2012

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    My Secret Battle....

    Its a secret battle that I deal with....When you hear about eating disorders, you think of skinny girls, who just think they are fat, you don't expect to see a fat girl who is struggling to lose weight, and who will skip as many meals as it takes to be skinny. So what if a fat...
    deleted deleted 26-30 3 Responses Sep 4, 2010

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    Be Happy

    I am scared, genuinly scared. It's like there is a hand tightening around my neck. With every passing day, I feel it's closing my windpipe more. How is it that you believe you are so in control of everything, but in fact you'll find that that's not much the case? It starts out...
    AllysonH AllysonH 18-21, F 2 Responses Oct 29, 2008

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    Surprised?

    i have lately have been getting so sick, people look at me and say but why is she so sick? its because i skip meals, i dont eat. i just dont eat. i run everyday, and do lots of exercises to get rid of all the fat. i weigh less than what i should. but i stop at a certain point...
    ProfessorPsycho ProfessorPsycho 13-15, F Aug 24, 2013

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    I used to weigh myself everyday.

    I don't now because my scale is broken. I purposely skip meals sometimes. I calorie restrict a lot. I binge. I am on both extremities of eating and not eating. Sometimes I don't tell people what I eat. I exercise randomly. Sometimes accessively. I am an emotional eater...
    Jackiebh Jackiebh 22-25, F Aug 25, 2014

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    What a Waste...

    For me, it's the best secret I've ever kept. Nobody knows. Some suspect, but it is so easy to make them believe otherwise. "Ana consumes me. I don't consume anything." That's what these pro-anorexia websites say. I am disgusted by them. I don't think these stick...
    AllysonH AllysonH 18-21, F 2 Responses Oct 26, 2008

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    None Of My Friends Know.

    It's sooo hard to have anorexia and not be able to tell my friends! I don't want to be judged, one of my friends even said that people "choose" to have an eating disorder!! The only person that knows (Other than my family) is my boyfriend! I have no one to talk to about this!!
    Hannahs30 Hannahs30 13-15, F 1 Response May 4, 2012

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    Tomorrow I start a strict starving diet.

    I can't take this anymore. :'( im giving in...
    MrCutBleedSmile MrCutBleedSmile 18-21, M 1 Response Feb 15, 2015

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    Secrets

    I don't consider myself anorexic per se, only because I haven't been diagnosed. Although to say that I don't have an eating disorder would be a lie.  In the beginning of October I started having some health issues, the doctors originally thought it was an ulcer because  I was...
    pinkcorsage pinkcorsage 18-21, F Nov 21, 2012

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    I don't eat on purpose.

    When my parents call my name to come eat, i eat as less as possible. Before i take a shower, i look in the mirror and hate what i see. I exercise everyday for tennis in order to obtain a scholarship. I weigh around 110 and i still want to go down. I want to stay skinny and get...
    jess53139 jess53139 18-21, F 2 Responses Feb 1, 2014

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    Selfish Needs.

    I feel embarrassed about myself. I don't fit in with other girls... I don't eat during the day, but when I get home, and my mom has made dinner, I take a few different laxatives and eat as much as I possibly can. When I'm sitting in the bathroom, I repeat over and over to myself...
    slowlyinternallyeat slowlyinternallyeat 16-17, F 2 Responses Dec 22, 2010

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    I Don't Know What To Do...

    I suffer from an eating problem (disorder sounds like skin and bones, and that isn't me) I've recently told my boyfriend and my very best friend. My boyfriend doesn't know how to help, one because he doesn't understand the mind of a women and two, he worries and doesn't know...
    mandycat992 mandycat992 18-21, F Apr 9, 2012

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    Compulsive Eating & Food Addiction

    I'm very sure that I suffer from Compulsive Eating Disorder and food addiction. Nobody knows this. Everyone thinks I just need to make myself stop eating. Like all EDs, it just doesn't work that way. I've done a lot of research on both and I fit so many of the criteria. I'm...
    DietIcedTea DietIcedTea 36-40, F 2 Responses Jul 4, 2009

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    I have never eating 3 square meals a day.

    Like who does? But I'm 24. I've been fat. Not "curvy" not "thick". FAT my whole life. Food taste good. But every time I eat it I want to cry. Throw up. Run a marathon. Rewind time. Anything to take the food from my stomach and not have it be digested. I try to barely eat these...
    aestrada91 aestrada91 22-25, F 3 Responses Jan 15

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    I secretly suffer from bulimia,

    i am not skinny or average weight I am over weight and I'm not stupid, I know that having an eating disorder is horrible. I know that I should really tell someone but I can't. I have the fear of letting my family down, I have a fear that people will laugh at me at school. I have...
    falloutsarah falloutsarah 16-17, F Sep 28, 2014

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    I guess a lot of people have it worse

    than I do. But I still wish I didn't think the way I did about food and weight. I really don't think body size matters in other people so why do I care so much about myself? I "on-and-off" starve myself and last week I lost around 5 pounds in 3 days and I'd give anything to do...
    annafairy annafairy 16-17, F Jan 22, 2014

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    beccahayley beccahayley 18-21, F Jan 22

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    I can feel myself killing my body

    and I can't stop it. My stomach hurts all the time. I feel sick. I feel like throwing up all the time. I'm so tired and weak. I'm turning pale. I don't like it but I have no control.
    aestrada91 aestrada91 22-25, F Jan 22

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    I secretly suffer from EDNOS.

    . I mostly suffer from symptoms of Anorexia but if I feel like I've eaten to much or I feel sick, I then feel the need to make myself vomit, which makes me feel better.. I'm currently around 173cm (5ft.7)and weigh 64kg (141.1 pounds) and currently I want to be about 60kg (132.3...
    Catho Catho 18-21, F 4 Responses Oct 24, 2014

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    Here Goes Nothing

    So I am new here and I don't exactly know if it qualifies an eating disorder (I am not stick thin yet). I have had issues with my weight almost all my life (I am 15 yrs old) My parents have always told me to lose weight. My mother tells me I have to lose weight almost every day...
    Anonymous1297 Anonymous1297 13-15, F Apr 11, 2012

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    Depression and Eating

    I go 5 day straighy without eating.Im not hungry ,sometimes I want to vomit from the smell of food. When we have to go out to eat w/fam i worry  that im going to have ti eat. I understand depression and eating go hand an hand, Im dealing with my babies deathits only been 5...
    eyeonu1020 eyeonu1020 31-35, F 2 Responses Oct 27, 2008

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    My Ed

    iv had an eating disorder for nearly 3 and half years now. its been a secret for these years - everyone thinks im really happy and normal etc but i feel so sad all of the time. its like i cant do anything right. i tried to tell my friend but it was awful and now our...
    mia27 mia27 18-21, F Feb 11, 2010

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    My Secrete

    I've secretly been having a eating disorder and i've been making myself throw up after I eat. I can't even eat without throwing up I'm in the middle of a really confusing situation I either starve myself or eat and throw up. I do it about 9 times a day. I can do silently now I'm...
    666zamara 666zamara 18-21, F Aug 25, 2013

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    Related Experiences

    I don't get this. In one point people say, restricting food is not good, not healthy. We should listen to our bodies and treat eat well. On the other hand, many people say we...
    Dreamingoflife01 Dreamingoflife01 18-21 11 hrs ago

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    I don't get this. In one point people say, restricting food is not good, not healthy. We should listen to our bodies and treat eat well. On the other hand, many people say we...
    Dreamingoflife01 Dreamingoflife01 18-21 2 Responses 11 hrs ago

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    I don't think of it as a disorder. I've been skipping meals and I'm tryigbto go for my go of one day without eating then the next day I'll eat but I'm just trying to get healthier...
    XDeadxNxAliveX XDeadxNxAliveX 13-15, F 1 Response 2 days ago

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    I'm relapsing. Bad. I have purged pretty much everything this week and haven't eaten in two days. I never want to eat again. I must go back to my lowest weight. Do you know what...
    punicorn1 punicorn1 13-15, F 2 Responses 2 days ago

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    Lately my dp has been decreasing and easier to handle. It's still not completely gone though and I still do have dp/dr attacks from time to time.
    tubbycat1234 tubbycat1234 16-17, F 2 days ago

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    I want to run away from life and hide, but no matter where I go the demons are always there pulling me into the pit of despair.
    nevets68 nevets68 46-50, M 1 Response 2 days ago

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    I've had pain and problems with my hips and back from when I was a teenager in about early high school. It wasn't too bad back then as I could manage my daily life with a few...
    GoldenHeart69 GoldenHeart69 22-25, F 3 days ago

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    Lately it just keeps getting worse.
    hateraidwontmakemefaid hateraidwontmakemefaid 18-21, F 3 days ago

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    I've been looking for a group like this for a while. My wife suffers from chronic pain due to Chari Malformation and other issues in her back and neck. Chronic pain has been a part...
    scummins1964 scummins1964 51-55, M 2 Responses 4 days ago

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    For at my lowest of low, I found my humanity. From the pits of my hell, I saw the world from a fresh perspective. Though I may wonder what might've been, I'll be forever grateful...
    RogueLogic2 RogueLogic2 26-30, F 4 Responses 4 days ago

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    I have been married twice and I'm in a wheelchair so I don't like being alone in the dark so when I have to wait for the bus to go home from either Work or the collegeX have a...
    me0883 me0883 22-25, M 6 days ago

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    Valentine season is so difficult. I haven't binged in months, but I am so emotional and depressed knowing that I will spend Valentine's Day alone (I just went through a break up...
    verymoofishy verymoofishy 18-21, F 1 Response a week ago

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    I hate the way I look. I'm to fat I should stop eating why can't I be pretty like other girls
    anestacia anestacia 18-21, F 3 Responses a week ago

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    Hi there. My name is Bulim-- wait nope. My name is Larkin and I was diagnosed with Bulimia halfway through my sophomore year of high school. I bet you're wondering about the second...
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Feb 5

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    Stuff it I'm eating a big packet of sugar biscuits
    anestacia anestacia 18-21, F Feb 4

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    Quitting MDD - my story Hi friends! I posted about quitting MDD a couple months ago and just wanted to give everyone an update and offer whatever help I can. I have been...
    BuddhistAddict BuddhistAddict 26-30 1 Response Feb 4

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    This is my story. I've been a constant Daydreamer since I was born. As a kid my family would catch me daydreaming and make fun of me, if they were in a good mood. But it was also...
    slothtolerance slothtolerance 26-30 1 Response Feb 4

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    ...i have had ednos for many years, but before that was a strict eating dancer. ...i want to be skinnier, but i hate it when i binge. i am eating less today and yesterday, a...
    coffeeonice coffeeonice 31-35, F Feb 3

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    I just started going through recovery a few weeks ago. It's so difficult. Some days I'm so proud of myself & loving my weight-restored body. Other days my head's dark & I'm so...
    kchristine7 kchristine7 18-21, F