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I Secretly Suffer From An Eating Disorder

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 120 People

    Compulsive Eating & Food Addiction

    I'm very sure that I suffer from Compulsive Eating Disorder and food addiction. Nobody knows this. Everyone thinks I just need to make myself stop eating. Like all EDs, it just doesn't work that way. I've done a lot of research on both and I fit so many of the criteria. I'm...
    DietIcedTea DietIcedTea 36-40, F 2 Responses Jul 4, 2009

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    What a Waste...

    For me, it's the best secret I've ever kept. Nobody knows. Some suspect, but it is so easy to make them believe otherwise. "Ana consumes me. I don't consume anything." That's what these pro-anorexia websites say. I am disgusted by them. I don't think these stick...
    AllysonH AllysonH 18-21, F 2 Responses Oct 26, 2008

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    I Don't Know What To Do...

    I suffer from an eating problem (disorder sounds like skin and bones, and that isn't me) I've recently told my boyfriend and my very best friend. My boyfriend doesn't know how to help, one because he doesn't understand the mind of a women and two, he worries and doesn't know...
    mandycat992 mandycat992 18-21, F Apr 9, 2012

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    Selfish Needs.

    I feel embarrassed about myself. I don't fit in with other girls... I don't eat during the day, but when I get home, and my mom has made dinner, I take a few different laxatives and eat as much as I possibly can. When I'm sitting in the bathroom, I repeat over and over to myself...
    slowlyinternallyeat slowlyinternallyeat 16-17, F 2 Responses Dec 22, 2010

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    Secrets

    I don't consider myself anorexic per se, only because I haven't been diagnosed. Although to say that I don't have an eating disorder would be a lie.  In the beginning of October I started having some health issues, the doctors originally thought it was an ulcer because  I was...
    pinkcorsage pinkcorsage 18-21, F Nov 21, 2012

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    Surprised?

    i have lately have been getting so sick, people look at me and say but why is she so sick? its because i skip meals, i dont eat. i just dont eat. i run everyday, and do lots of exercises to get rid of all the fat. i weigh less than what i should. but i stop at a certain point...
    ProfessorPsycho ProfessorPsycho 13-15, F Aug 24, 2013

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    I secretly suffer from EDNOS.

    . I mostly suffer from symptoms of Anorexia but if I feel like I've eaten to much or I feel sick, I then feel the need to make myself vomit, which makes me feel better.. I'm currently around 173cm (5ft.7)and weigh 64kg (141.1 pounds) and currently I want to be about 60kg (132.3...
    catho catho 18-21, F 3 Responses Oct 24

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    Here Goes Nothing

    So I am new here and I don't exactly know if it qualifies an eating disorder (I am not stick thin yet). I have had issues with my weight almost all my life (I am 15 yrs old) My parents have always told me to lose weight. My mother tells me I have to lose weight almost every day...
    Anonymous1297 Anonymous1297 13-15, F Apr 11, 2012

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    Clueless

    I have been battling with Bulimia and Anorexia since I was 11. I have gone to the hospital twice from dehydration, my voice is always raspy, I always feel lightheaded, But my family has no idea. Sometimes I wish they would find out so I dont have to fight this anymore, but I'm...
    StarvedAndScarred StarvedAndScarred 18-21, F 2 Responses Feb 5, 2012

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    I used to weigh myself everyday.

    I don't now because my scale is broken. I purposely skip meals sometimes. I calorie restrict a lot. I binge. I am on both extremities of eating and not eating. Sometimes I don't tell people what I eat. I exercise randomly. Sometimes accessively. I am an emotional eater...
    Jackiebh Jackiebh 22-25, F Aug 25

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    My Secret Battle....

    Its a secret battle that I deal with....When you hear about eating disorders, you think of skinny girls, who just think they are fat, you don't expect to see a fat girl who is struggling to lose weight, and who will skip as many meals as it takes to be skinny. So what if a fat...
    deleted deleted 26-30 3 Responses Sep 4, 2010

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    I don't eat on purpose.

    When my parents call my name to come eat, i eat as less as possible. Before i take a shower, i look in the mirror and hate what i see. I exercise everyday for tennis in order to obtain a scholarship. I weigh around 110 and i still want to go down. I want to stay skinny and get...
    jess53139 jess53139 18-21, F 2 Responses Feb 1

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    I Hate Myself..(possible Trigger For Some)

    I haven't been diagnosed with an eating disorder because I haven't seen a doctor personally about it. I just told my case manager I have body issues. I fit some of the criteria for anorexia nervosa, but I fit nearly all Ednos criteria. I am so ashamed. I have been binging several...
    brokenangel82 brokenangel82 26-30, F 3 Responses May 31, 2012

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    I guess a lot of people have it worse

    than I do. But I still wish I didn't think the way I did about food and weight. I really don't think body size matters in other people so why do I care so much about myself? I "on-and-off" starve myself and last week I lost around 5 pounds in 3 days and I'd give anything to do...
    annafairy annafairy 13-15, F Jan 22

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    I secretly suffer from bulimia,

    i am not skinny or average weight I am over weight and I'm not stupid, I know that having an eating disorder is horrible. I know that I should really tell someone but I can't. I have the fear of letting my family down, I have a fear that people will laugh at me at school. I have...
    falloutsarah falloutsarah 13-15, F Sep 28

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    My Secrete

    I've secretly been having a eating disorder and i've been making myself throw up after I eat. I can't even eat without throwing up I'm in the middle of a really confusing situation I either starve myself or eat and throw up. I do it about 9 times a day. I can do silently now I'm...
    666zamara 666zamara 16-17, F Aug 25, 2013

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    Can't Stop

    I have had an eating disorder for years. My family and friends knew about it and for a while I stopped, but I started doing it again. I can't bring myself to stop it. Its so hard I would stop for a few days, but the whole day I would be driving myself crazy thinking about it and...
    shellzz shellzz 18-21, F May 22, 2012

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    My Ed

    iv had an eating disorder for nearly 3 and half years now. its been a secret for these years - everyone thinks im really happy and normal etc but i feel so sad all of the time. its like i cant do anything right. i tried to tell my friend but it was awful and now our...
    mia27 mia27 18-21, F Feb 11, 2010

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    None Of My Friends Know.

    It's sooo hard to have anorexia and not be able to tell my friends! I don't want to be judged, one of my friends even said that people "choose" to have an eating disorder!! The only person that knows (Other than my family) is my boyfriend! I have no one to talk to about this!!
    Hannahs30 Hannahs30 13-15, F 1 Response May 4, 2012

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    Be Happy

    I am scared, genuinly scared. It's like there is a hand tightening around my neck. With every passing day, I feel it's closing my windpipe more. How is it that you believe you are so in control of everything, but in fact you'll find that that's not much the case? It starts out...
    AllysonH AllysonH 18-21, F 2 Responses Oct 29, 2008

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    Depression and Eating

    I go 5 day straighy without eating.Im not hungry ,sometimes I want to vomit from the smell of food. When we have to go out to eat w/fam i worry  that im going to have ti eat. I understand depression and eating go hand an hand, Im dealing with my babies deathits only been 5...
    eyeonu1020 eyeonu1020 31-35, F 2 Responses Oct 27, 2008

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    Related Experiences

    I really hate living with pmdd. I feel like no one takes me seriously because I get sad and cry over everything... I don't really feel welcome in my home anymore, and I guess it's...
    MimiRainbow MimiRainbow 18-21, F a week ago

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    When I was younger I never ate. Not because I was scared to gain, but because when I was hungry I never felt like actually eating. The thought of it even made me nauseous at times...
    MiniMe57 MiniMe57 13-15, F Dec 6

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    I had and am still suffering from an eating disorder. I got to a very low weight and I was sick, my hair was breaking off, and I was always out of breath. I recently joined a sport...
    idk013 idk013 18-21, F 6 days ago

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    During the past couple months, my friend group has noticed something strange about one of our friends, let's call her Jane. We all usually go to one of our friend's houses for...
    whyphy whyphy 13-15, F 2 days ago

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    The worst aspect of them is that even in recovery, you never entirely let go of the thought-patterns and emotions that link so deeply with the behaviours that drove you there...
    morea morea 22-25, F 1 Response Dec 5

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    And it was terrible. It developed over a period of years, years that I remember only perfectionism, anxiety, and self consciousness. I wanted to change myself. At age 10, I went...
    deleted deleted 26-30 Dec 3

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    PART 1 Went through other posts on Binge Eating Disorder, glad I'm not alone. However, its still not a good thing. I've been binging for a while now, and if counting calories work...
    TJLK TJLK 18-21, F Dec 8

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    I last puked from my bulimia a week ago (I'm trying so hard to curb My eating disorder and not make it worse) And now My food still doesn't want to stay down. I never purged daily...
    Ginkofishin Ginkofishin 18-21, F 1 Response Dec 9

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    I've been eating a lot to gain because my clothes are loose but it's not working! I think I just want to gain weight to tell my eating disorder "You don't control me!"but i still...
    yonnie97 yonnie97 16-17, F 1 Response Dec 10

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    I don't think I could say that I "had" an eating disorder. I think it's like being an alcoholic. You're just constantly in recovery. I relapsed this week. Mentally and physically...
    untamablekitty untamablekitty 26-30, F Dec 17

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    It's not a "cool" new thing it's a genuine problem. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy and if sickens me that people treat disorders as a trend or as though I made a choice and...
    Nethaly Nethaly 18-21, F 2 Responses 2 days ago

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    I struggle with eating disorders. I chew and spit, I starve myself and sometimes I overeat junk food and then sometimes take diet pills and laxatives. Please someone message me and...
    kristen18p kristen18p 18-21, F Dec 9

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    I have always fought with an eating disorder and anxiety but this year I became involved with depression and self-harm. In the spring of 2014, I got involved in a car accident and...
    ecokismet ecokismet 22-25, F 1 Response Dec 21

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    I've been skipping meals and purging lately. Latest reason is my ex died and he would have wanted me to be thin. He loved my eating disorder. Feel like I owe it to him to have...
    stolenartistalways stolenartistalways 31-35, F 2 Responses a week ago

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    I didn't mean to fall in love with him--I just did. He was just a schoolmate back in College. But ever since one of my classmates said that we looked good together, my suffering...
    ayamesan16 ayamesan16 22-25, F 2 Responses Dec 10

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    I've suffered from HH for at least 52 years! I'm now 58 and I can remember the sweaty hands when I was about 6 years old. I've always lived in one of the most hot and humid...
    LynnetteP LynnetteP 56-60, F Dec 9

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    I've been suffering from this since I was 8 yrs old. It started with my eyelashes but I quit that by the time I was 10 and around that time I started pulling the hair on my head. I...
    darci0796 darci0796 18-21, F 1 Response Dec 4

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    During my years of being anorexic, I also suffered from depression. I took anti-depressants for a while after getting out of treatment, but that doesn't mean I still don't suffer...
    BwayGirl676 BwayGirl676 22-25, F Dec 15

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    Suffered from IBS for as long as I can remember. Have memories of having a stomach ache after every lunch in the first and second grade. Growing up it was mostly IBS attacks...
    K14A07M K14A07M 22-25, F Dec 2

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    Not a day goes by that I don't suffer from anxiety. Mine is more related to a fear of being sick. It's nice though to know I'm not by myself. Not in a selfish was. just spent a...
    lucycain2808 lucycain2808 22-25, F 2 Responses Nov 29

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    I been suffering from chronic pain for 17 years now. I have nerve damage in both legs. Looking to make friends to help each other when we are having bad pain day.
    MrShecter MrShecter 36-40, M 1 Response Dec 6

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    are any of you in Australia and have been through all the elimination processes.... my GPs are not helpful and I'm on a year long waiting list to see a rheumatologist.. and I'm...
    tljsmtc tljsmtc 22-25, F Dec 7

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    I don't know why I do but I always suffer from headaches when I sleep at day instead of night or when I don't eat or drink water My headaches where worst than this I had an...
    collegegirl20 collegegirl20 22-25, F 3 Responses Dec 17

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    Just as the title suggests I suffer from maladaptive day dreaming, I've had this particular issue for as long as I can remember. earliest memory I have of my daydreaming is when I...
    Chason92 Chason92 22-25, M a week ago

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    Nov. 20, 2014 5:30pm I don't know what is wrong with me. I felt so happy when I got home. I felt so much love for mj and I was just on cloud nine. But I guess my flight reached...
    yonnie97 yonnie97 16-17, F Dec 12

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    Idk, i guess i've always been this way...it simply got worse with time. I'm not anorexic, or bulimic or a binge eater or anything along those lines. I don't have issues with my...
    IAmOptimusPrime IAmOptimusPrime 22-25, F Nov 30

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    OCD is when: Numbers remind you of the worst moments of your life. You can't walk into that room because you have a bad feeling. You can't hurt that stuffed animal because it has...
    simplyOCD simplyOCD 16-17, F 2 Responses Dec 6