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I Secretly Suffer From An Eating Disorder

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 98 People

    Can't Stop

    I have had an eating disorder for years. My family and friends knew about it and for a while I stopped, but I started doing it again. I can't bring myself to stop it. Its so hard I would stop for a few days, but the whole day I would be driving myself crazy thinking about it and...
    shellzz shellzz 18-21, F May 22, 2012

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    I Don't Know What To Do...

    I suffer from an eating problem (disorder sounds like skin and bones, and that isn't me) I've recently told my boyfriend and my very best friend. My boyfriend doesn't know how to help, one because he doesn't understand the mind of a women and two, he worries and doesn't know...
    mandycat992 mandycat992 18-21, F Apr 9, 2012

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    Clueless

    I have been battling with Bulimia and Anorexia since I was 11. I have gone to the hospital twice from dehydration, my voice is always raspy, I always feel lightheaded, But my family has no idea. Sometimes I wish they would find out so I dont have to fight this anymore, but I'm...
    StarvedAndScarred StarvedAndScarred 18-21, F 2 Responses Feb 5, 2012

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    I guess a lot of people have it worse

    than I do. But I still wish I didn't think the way I did about food and weight. I really don't think body size matters in other people so why do I care so much about myself? I "on-and-off" starve myself and last week I lost around 5 pounds in 3 days and I'd give anything to do...
    annafairy annafairy 13-15, F Jan 22

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    Depression and Eating

    I go 5 day straighy without eating.Im not hungry ,sometimes I want to vomit from the smell of food. When we have to go out to eat w/fam i worry  that im going to have ti eat. I understand depression and eating go hand an hand, Im dealing with my babies deathits only been 5...
    eyeonu1020 eyeonu1020 31-35, F 2 Responses Oct 27, 2008

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    Here Goes Nothing

    So I am new here and I don't exactly know if it qualifies an eating disorder (I am not stick thin yet). I have had issues with my weight almost all my life (I am 15 yrs old) My parents have always told me to lose weight. My mother tells me I have to lose weight almost every day...
    Anonymous1297 Anonymous1297 13-15, F Apr 11, 2012

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    Selfish Needs.

    I feel embarrassed about myself. I don't fit in with other girls... I don't eat during the day, but when I get home, and my mom has made dinner, I take a few different laxatives and eat as much as I possibly can. When I'm sitting in the bathroom, I repeat over and over to myself...
    slowlyinternallyeat slowlyinternallyeat 16-17, F 2 Responses Dec 22, 2010

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    Secrets

    I don't consider myself anorexic per se, only because I haven't been diagnosed. Although to say that I don't have an eating disorder would be a lie.  In the beginning of October I started having some health issues, the doctors originally thought it was an ulcer because  I was...
    pinkcorsage pinkcorsage 18-21, F Nov 21, 2012

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    What a Waste...

    For me, it's the best secret I've ever kept. Nobody knows. Some suspect, but it is so easy to make them believe otherwise. "Ana consumes me. I don't consume anything." That's what these pro-anorexia websites say. I am disgusted by them. I don't think these stick...
    AllysonH AllysonH 18-21, F 2 Responses Oct 26, 2008

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    None Of My Friends Know.

    It's sooo hard to have anorexia and not be able to tell my friends! I don't want to be judged, one of my friends even said that people "choose" to have an eating disorder!! The only person that knows (Other than my family) is my boyfriend! I have no one to talk to about this!!
    Hannahs30 Hannahs30 13-15, F 1 Response May 4, 2012

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    My Ed

    iv had an eating disorder for nearly 3 and half years now. its been a secret for these years - everyone thinks im really happy and normal etc but i feel so sad all of the time. its like i cant do anything right. i tried to tell my friend but it was awful and now our...
    mia27 mia27 18-21, F Feb 11, 2010

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    I don't eat on purpose.

    When my parents call my name to come eat, i eat as less as possible. Before i take a shower, i look in the mirror and hate what i see. I exercise everyday for tennis in order to obtain a scholarship. I weigh around 110 and i still want to go down. I want to stay skinny and get...
    jess53139 jess53139 16-17, F 2 Responses Feb 1

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    I Hate Myself..(possible Trigger For Some)

    I haven't been diagnosed with an eating disorder because I haven't seen a doctor personally about it. I just told my case manager I have body issues. I fit some of the criteria for anorexia nervosa, but I fit nearly all Ednos criteria. I am so ashamed. I have been binging several...
    brokenangel82 brokenangel82 26-30, F 3 Responses May 31, 2012

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    Surprised?

    i have lately have been getting so sick, people look at me and say but why is she so sick? its because i skip meals, i dont eat. i just dont eat. i run everyday, and do lots of exercises to get rid of all the fat. i weigh less than what i should. but i stop at a certain point...
    ProfessorPsycho ProfessorPsycho 13-15, F Aug 24, 2013

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    My Secret Battle....

    Its a secret battle that I deal with....When you hear about eating disorders, you think of skinny girls, who just think they are fat, you don't expect to see a fat girl who is struggling to lose weight, and who will skip as many meals as it takes to be skinny. So what if a fat...
    deleted deleted 26-30 3 Responses Sep 4, 2010

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    My Secrete

    I've secretly been having a eating disorder and i've been making myself throw up after I eat. I can't even eat without throwing up I'm in the middle of a really confusing situation I either starve myself or eat and throw up. I do it about 9 times a day. I can do silently now I'm...
    666zamara 666zamara 16-17, F Aug 25, 2013

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    Compulsive Eating & Food Addiction

    I'm very sure that I suffer from Compulsive Eating Disorder and food addiction. Nobody knows this. Everyone thinks I just need to make myself stop eating. Like all EDs, it just doesn't work that way. I've done a lot of research on both and I fit so many of the criteria. I'm...
    DietIcedTea DietIcedTea 36-40, F 2 Responses Jul 4, 2009

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    Be Happy

    I am scared, genuinly scared. It's like there is a hand tightening around my neck. With every passing day, I feel it's closing my windpipe more. How is it that you believe you are so in control of everything, but in fact you'll find that that's not much the case? It starts out...
    AllysonH AllysonH 18-21, F 2 Responses Oct 29, 2008

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    Related Experiences

    Stay away from eating disorders and prevent them when you can! They will basically destroy your life, your relationships with friends, love, and family, your body, your mind, YOU...
    starsarediamonds starsarediamonds 13-15, F Jul 7

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    Body Dysmorphic Disorder - July 30, 2014- I recently heard of this on a television show. I never truly understood this friend's feelings until I learned more of this disorder. To...
    JustaMann JustaMann 41-45, M 32 mins ago

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    I had a letter come through the post yesterday morning from the eating disorder clinic. I have to see them on 24th July. I'm really nervous and really embarrassed about my eating...
    BeautyOfSuffering BeautyOfSuffering 22-25, F 2 Responses Jul 12

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    I'm currently blogging about my daily battles with my eating disorder and my other mental health problems such as my borderline personality disorder. I try to update it regularly...
    BeautyOfSuffering BeautyOfSuffering 22-25, F Jul 12

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    I grew up with a mother who has slowly become morbidly obese. All my life she was overweight but as I grew older I began to notice just how overweight she was becoming. My dad is...
    tracy1990 tracy1990 22-25, F 5 days ago

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    Anorexia and bulimia seemed so distant to me when I was growing up. It seemed completely irrational to me that someone could just not eat, and puking seemed impossible to force...
    rachelthedreamer rachelthedreamer 16-17, F 2 days ago

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    I've suffered from depression so long. It's been depression from so many things. I'm 150 pounds and my height and my want is to be 105. It's so hard to starve myself but I try to...
    alexvalen alexvalen 16-17, F Jul 9

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    A few months ago, this would have said I HAD an eating disorder.... I guess I would call it a relapse. I cook a lot, for other people. I love to cook. I just... hate to eat. I...
    xoxomaya93 xoxomaya93 18-21, F 2 Responses Jul 7

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    I'm too fat to have an eating disorder they said. People. But I don't eat. And an eating disorder is not something on the outside. Well it may show but it's still all just in your...
    paradiseisbroken paradiseisbroken 13-15, F Jul 10

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    It is absolutely a nightmare to have an eating disorder, it's as if it drags you over and over and over again whenever you try to recover. Recovery is difficult but not impossible...
    Angelanorexic Angelanorexic 18-21, F Jul 13

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    Three years ago I developed an eating disorder. I barely ate anything and lost 10 kg. Then after a while I started bingeing and purging and gained back weight. I really wanted to...
    irisjuuu irisjuuu 18-21, F 1 Response 5 days ago

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    I'm not sure if this would truly be considered an eating disorder, but I WANT to gain weight. I eat a lot, have no problem with eating as much as I want but at the same time I have...
    n0ceur n0ceur 18-21, F Jul 7

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    I was diagnosed a few years back by a counselor i was seeing with Avoidant personality disorder. After years of struggling to keep and hold onto a job including two failed attempts...
    shinjorai shinjorai 36-40, M 1 Response Jul 15

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    I can now honestly say I'm fully recovered from anorexia, bulimia and selfharm. I have had these problems since I was in P6 at school so around 10 years old. I'm now 17, the last 7...
    oliviiaxo oliviiaxo 16-17, F 1 Response Jul 6

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    People have different reasons for the cause of their eating disorders. Mine is from being depressed about my life. I can't help but think that my youth has been a waste. I want to...
    cringing cringing 16-17, F Jul 8

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    I thought I defeated my eating disorder, i used to starve until I've lost about 10 kg I mean I'm trying to eat better, but today I ate something different from what I eat everyday...
    brzdreamer brzdreamer 16-17, F 1 Response Jul 17

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    I have a rare disorder called Loeyz-Dietz syndrome in a bad form. 28 surgeries. 3 open heart. Another coming soon. I can walk and appear mostly normal, but I suffer minimum 8/10...
    longcat4u longcat4u 31-35, M 2 Responses Jun 30

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    Hey guys :) my name is Chelsea. My anorexia began when I was in the 9th grade. I realized that I couldn't do what everyone else could do with my disability and for me my eating...
    the1andonlyChelsChels the1andonlyChelsChels 18-21, F Jun 30

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    Is it possible to have a eating disorder and have a normal weight? some days I eat hardly anything and their are some days I eat everything in sight but I'm normal weight I lost 15...
    booboo157 booboo157 16-17, F 2 Responses Jul 9

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    I don't know of this is really an eating disorder, but... I lose my appetite sometimes for days at a stretch and can only really eat one meal in the day and sometimes I don't eat...
    Loner1990 Loner1990 22-25, M 2 Responses Jul 13

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    I hate it. I constantly am striving to avoid food, but I always end up screwing everything up. Then I purge. It just goes like that every day, over and over and over. I can't tell...
    wannabeweightless wannabeweightless 13-15, F 1 Response Jul 17

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    I think i have ednos. (Eating disorder not otherwise specified) as you know i have body image priblems. But what you dont know is that im restricting fiod quite alot. But idk i...
    majahi majahi 13-15, F Jul 17

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    .I'm 16, going into my junior year of highschool and I just want to be normal. I have been living with what I now realize is binge eating disorder for 2-3 years now and its been a...
    jezziw98 jezziw98 16-17, F 1 Response a week ago

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    (SORRY IF ITS LONG. I KINDA WROTE A NOVEL HERE LOL) So i rather not go by my first name i'll go by my middle name which is Kayla. I'm 14 and a half and ever since I was in the 6th...
    kaylaa1 kaylaa1 13-15, F 1 Response Jul 3

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    I've always suffered from SSS and Misophonia since I was very young. Recently it's gotten very difficult for me. I have been getting over whelmed or over come with feelings and...
    Danicakes9 Danicakes9 13-15, F Jul 1

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    it all started in the 7th grade. I was not a very popular person. At the begging of the year I met a boy named noah he was my locker neighbor and I didn't really know him before I...
    wothlessdreamer14 wothlessdreamer14 22-25, F 1 Response Jul 3

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    When I was younger up to when I was about maybe 14, I suffered from sleep paralysis. I always knew it was coming because before the attack my entire body had a pins and needles...
    Xander8905 Xander8905 18-21, M 1 Response Jul 13

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    My husband suffers from chronic wide spread nerve pain. He has been diagnosed with small fiber neuropathy, fibromyalgia, and myofacial pain syndrome. The best way to describe what...
    overwhelmedandexhausted overwhelmedandexhausted 26-30, F Jul 16

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    Okay , it's been so long I didn't write anything , so I thought I would just update it up a little bit with what's happening with me nowadays. It's been like five months now I...
    CrushednBroken CrushednBroken 26-30, F 20 hrs ago

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    Does anyone else always feel guilty every night at this time after eating and worry about how many calories and weight gain! Just wanna be skinny
    redheadxx redheadxx 18-21, F 4 Responses 9 hrs ago

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    over a year ago i was in a really bad place. i hated myself and everyone around me, i was really depressed and i struggled with bulimia. the bulimia was not that bad and i got...
    littlemeonly littlemeonly 13-15, F 2 Responses Jul 17