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I Secretly Suffer From An Eating Disorder

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 107 People

    Selfish Needs.

    I feel embarrassed about myself. I don't fit in with other girls... I don't eat during the day, but when I get home, and my mom has made dinner, I take a few different laxatives and eat as much as I possibly can. When I'm sitting in the bathroom, I repeat over and over to myself...
    slowlyinternallyeat slowlyinternallyeat 16-17, F 2 Responses Dec 22, 2010

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    My Secrete

    I've secretly been having a eating disorder and i've been making myself throw up after I eat. I can't even eat without throwing up I'm in the middle of a really confusing situation I either starve myself or eat and throw up. I do it about 9 times a day. I can do silently now I'm...
    666zamara 666zamara 16-17, F Aug 25, 2013

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    I secretly suffer from bulimia,

    i am not skinny or average weight I am over weight and I'm not stupid, I know that having an eating disorder is horrible. I know that I should really tell someone but I can't. I have the fear of letting my family down, I have a fear that people will laugh at me at school. I have...
    falloutsarah falloutsarah 13-15, F Sep 28

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    Here Goes Nothing

    So I am new here and I don't exactly know if it qualifies an eating disorder (I am not stick thin yet). I have had issues with my weight almost all my life (I am 15 yrs old) My parents have always told me to lose weight. My mother tells me I have to lose weight almost every day...
    Anonymous1297 Anonymous1297 13-15, F Apr 11, 2012

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    Can't Stop

    I have had an eating disorder for years. My family and friends knew about it and for a while I stopped, but I started doing it again. I can't bring myself to stop it. Its so hard I would stop for a few days, but the whole day I would be driving myself crazy thinking about it and...
    shellzz shellzz 18-21, F May 22, 2012

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    I Hate Myself..(possible Trigger For Some)

    I haven't been diagnosed with an eating disorder because I haven't seen a doctor personally about it. I just told my case manager I have body issues. I fit some of the criteria for anorexia nervosa, but I fit nearly all Ednos criteria. I am so ashamed. I have been binging several...
    brokenangel82 brokenangel82 26-30, F 3 Responses May 31, 2012

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    Secrets

    I don't consider myself anorexic per se, only because I haven't been diagnosed. Although to say that I don't have an eating disorder would be a lie.  In the beginning of October I started having some health issues, the doctors originally thought it was an ulcer because  I was...
    pinkcorsage pinkcorsage 18-21, F Nov 21, 2012

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    Depression and Eating

    I go 5 day straighy without eating.Im not hungry ,sometimes I want to vomit from the smell of food. When we have to go out to eat w/fam i worry  that im going to have ti eat. I understand depression and eating go hand an hand, Im dealing with my babies deathits only been 5...
    eyeonu1020 eyeonu1020 31-35, F 2 Responses Oct 27, 2008

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    My Ed

    iv had an eating disorder for nearly 3 and half years now. its been a secret for these years - everyone thinks im really happy and normal etc but i feel so sad all of the time. its like i cant do anything right. i tried to tell my friend but it was awful and now our...
    mia27 mia27 18-21, F Feb 11, 2010

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    None Of My Friends Know.

    It's sooo hard to have anorexia and not be able to tell my friends! I don't want to be judged, one of my friends even said that people "choose" to have an eating disorder!! The only person that knows (Other than my family) is my boyfriend! I have no one to talk to about this!!
    Hannahs30 Hannahs30 13-15, F 1 Response May 4, 2012

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    Be Happy

    I am scared, genuinly scared. It's like there is a hand tightening around my neck. With every passing day, I feel it's closing my windpipe more. How is it that you believe you are so in control of everything, but in fact you'll find that that's not much the case? It starts out...
    AllysonH AllysonH 18-21, F 2 Responses Oct 29, 2008

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    Clueless

    I have been battling with Bulimia and Anorexia since I was 11. I have gone to the hospital twice from dehydration, my voice is always raspy, I always feel lightheaded, But my family has no idea. Sometimes I wish they would find out so I dont have to fight this anymore, but I'm...
    StarvedAndScarred StarvedAndScarred 18-21, F 2 Responses Feb 5, 2012

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    I guess a lot of people have it worse

    than I do. But I still wish I didn't think the way I did about food and weight. I really don't think body size matters in other people so why do I care so much about myself? I "on-and-off" starve myself and last week I lost around 5 pounds in 3 days and I'd give anything to do...
    annafairy annafairy 13-15, F Jan 22

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    I used to weigh myself everyday.

    I don't now because my scale is broken. I purposely skip meals sometimes. I calorie restrict a lot. I binge. I am on both extremities of eating and not eating. Sometimes I don't tell people what I eat. I exercise randomly. Sometimes accessively. I am an emotional eater...
    Jackiebh Jackiebh 22-25, F Aug 25

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    I don't eat on purpose.

    When my parents call my name to come eat, i eat as less as possible. Before i take a shower, i look in the mirror and hate what i see. I exercise everyday for tennis in order to obtain a scholarship. I weigh around 110 and i still want to go down. I want to stay skinny and get...
    jess53139 jess53139 16-17, F 2 Responses Feb 1

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    I Don't Know What To Do...

    I suffer from an eating problem (disorder sounds like skin and bones, and that isn't me) I've recently told my boyfriend and my very best friend. My boyfriend doesn't know how to help, one because he doesn't understand the mind of a women and two, he worries and doesn't know...
    mandycat992 mandycat992 18-21, F Apr 9, 2012

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    What a Waste...

    For me, it's the best secret I've ever kept. Nobody knows. Some suspect, but it is so easy to make them believe otherwise. "Ana consumes me. I don't consume anything." That's what these pro-anorexia websites say. I am disgusted by them. I don't think these stick...
    AllysonH AllysonH 18-21, F 2 Responses Oct 26, 2008

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    My Secret Battle....

    Its a secret battle that I deal with....When you hear about eating disorders, you think of skinny girls, who just think they are fat, you don't expect to see a fat girl who is struggling to lose weight, and who will skip as many meals as it takes to be skinny. So what if a fat...
    deleted deleted 26-30 3 Responses Sep 4, 2010

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    Compulsive Eating & Food Addiction

    I'm very sure that I suffer from Compulsive Eating Disorder and food addiction. Nobody knows this. Everyone thinks I just need to make myself stop eating. Like all EDs, it just doesn't work that way. I've done a lot of research on both and I fit so many of the criteria. I'm...
    DietIcedTea DietIcedTea 36-40, F 2 Responses Jul 4, 2009

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    Surprised?

    i have lately have been getting so sick, people look at me and say but why is she so sick? its because i skip meals, i dont eat. i just dont eat. i run everyday, and do lots of exercises to get rid of all the fat. i weigh less than what i should. but i stop at a certain point...
    ProfessorPsycho ProfessorPsycho 13-15, F Aug 24, 2013

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    Related Experiences

    I've been taking a class in my college that recently the topic of eating disorders came up. Now at first I felt like staying out of the conversation because I couldn't figure out...
    cookii cookii 18-21, F Oct 9

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    I have been diagnosed with bulimia. My school found me skiving my lesson in one of the toilets and binge eating and then throwing back up afterwards. They informed my parents and...
    annonymususer15 annonymususer15 13-15, F 1 Response Oct 5

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    Yes :(( and when I get a comment about me eating I get more upset 'oh that's low fat..' I hates it because I had to stop dieting and I'm almost in my ideal weight goal and I had to...
    nonichecliche nonichecliche 18-21, F Oct 11

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    I start my first day in an eating disorder treatment tmw. I really want to be okay with myself
    tokitten tokitten 22-25, F 1 Response Oct 8

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    My eating disorder is relapsing. I know this because I've become so much more obsessive about food and calories, and I purged for the first time in a year last week. Also I'm...
    lalaloopsytrollpony lalaloopsytrollpony 18-21, F 3 Responses 6 days ago

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    I suffer from epistolophobia which is a fear of correspondence or opening letters, emails and sometimes texts. The degree to which I'm affected varies greatly but it has caused me...
    RealJax0009 RealJax0009 26-30, M 1 Response Sep 29

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    I used to suffer from it badly when I took a lot of drugs a couple of years ago. I only get it very occasionally now as I no longer use, but it's starting to increase again. I've...
    shellofaboy shellofaboy 18-21, M 1 Response 1 day ago

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    I've been looking for a job for 17 months and am even getting interviews. Sometimes even a second interview. Then it stops - every time. People keep telling you not to take it...
    squirrelbounce squirrelbounce 36-40, F Oct 2

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    Within the past four years, I have injured my lower back three times. Despite suffering from excruciating pain most of the time, numerous tests have revealed nothing unusual. The...
    Jononymous Jononymous 26-30, M 3 Responses Oct 8

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    I suffer from PMDD and when it comes to the run up for time of the month my personality changes. Sometimes I feel like I have 2 personalities - happy me and then the week before my...
    parrotpolly parrotpolly 22-25, F 1 Response Oct 8

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    My aversion to chewing sounds was evident by the age of 5. I have learned to disguise my condition and few people outside my immediate family know about it. But it is truly...
    KnightMoves KnightMoves 46-50, M 1 Response Oct 8

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    My friend recently passed his driving test and decided to take me and 2 others on a mini road trip driving through country winding roads. I suffer from panic attacks and he was...
    Lydwill96x Lydwill96x 18-21, F 2 Responses Oct 9

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    So bad sometimes I can't remember what I did hours or minutes before. I don't know what's wrong with me. I think having little intelligence and suffering from mental illnesses...
    1lonelydaisy 1lonelydaisy 70+, F 3 Responses Oct 11

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    Hi, I'm a 36 year old male, living in Toronto, Canada. I've been suffering from depression/anxiety for 6 years. I have a good job, a good family, and friends. However, none of...
    depressed34 depressed34 31-35, M 1 Response Oct 11

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    I am 17 years old - 18 in November - and I have struggled with my weight and wanting to lose weight since I was 15 years old. I've been told many times that I do the things I do...
    kaylxlynn kaylxlynn 16-17, F 1 Response 3 days ago

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    At first it started out by eating too much and then throwing up because it was uncomfortable. I thought it was my body's way of saying I was too fat and needed to be bulimic. Life...
    heatherrrbee heatherrrbee 22-25, F 6 days ago

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    I don't even know where to begin. I was diagnosed with Bipolar disorder 2 years ago and was put on a medication called Viibryd, which is an anti-depressant. It seemed to help at...
    Kacey12206 Kacey12206 22-25, F Oct 10

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    I hate this disorder with all of the scrapes of passion I have left in me. I've lost 90 pounds but I still perceive myself the same way I did when I was obese. I have a split down...
    punicorn1 punicorn1 13-15, F 1 Response Oct 12

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    I have all 3:/ and I stopped myself from starving, binging, and purging about two months ago and I was doing well and my body image was getting better..until tonight. I was eating...
    XxBadXVibesxX XxBadXVibesxX 13-15, F 1 Response Sep 26

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    I used to be skinny could eat whatever I wanted to without gaining weight then got on this medication that changed it all.... I got so fat and that wasn't me at all. it went up and...
    elyayamama elyayamama 22-25, F 1 day ago

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    I don't know exactly what kind of disorder I have. Or if you can even call it that. Sometimes I have it and other times I can block it all out. But it always comes crawling back. I...
    candellightloveletters candellightloveletters 18-21, F Sep 26

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    i used to be really skinny, but now im so fat and cant stop eating im so depressed
    alm2511 alm2511 16-17 1 Response Sep 28

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    Maybe, just maybe I'm overcoming this...I'm wanting to eat more than I used to, but still struggling to get it down. And at the end of the day I feel terrible for eating and...
    jackjack600 jackjack600 18-21, F 2 Responses Oct 6

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    This is such bullshit. I know food is important for me , but it feels like the enemy. I know food nourishes people but i feel so disgusting after eating it. I know food is a normal...
    LeilaOlivia LeilaOlivia 13-15, F Oct 7

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    And its a horrible thing for me to have to admit to. Its been going on since high school grade 9 about. It started when I lost 10 pounds instantly after getting half my thyroid...
    Grrrrgirl Grrrrgirl 22-25, F Oct 8

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    frustrated. been eating one salad a day before fasted for two days which ended today, while taking new meds and no weight loss. i can't take this shyt.
    arewehuman arewehuman 22-25, F 1 Response 6 days ago

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    Relapsing bad these past few days. My insurance isn't covering my day treatment anymore because I need more help than they're providing. Not sure what my next step is going to be...
    misanthropemeow misanthropemeow 22-25, F 2 days ago

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    I've been perfectly fine for the last 1.5 years, but I think I'm going back to my old ways. It started with me being sick, I've last my appetite for the whole month afterwards, I...
    ChanelLove12 ChanelLove12 70+, F 1 Response 1 day ago

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    Relapsed pretty hardcore after I'd done so well and come back from heart atrophy and being inches from death; slinked back into an underweight category over something as fictional...
    CanisCanem CanisCanem 18-21, F 1 Response Oct 10

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