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I Secretly Suffer From An Eating Disorder

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 145 People

    I secretly suffer from bulimia,

    i am not skinny or average weight I am over weight and I'm not stupid, I know that having an eating disorder is horrible. I know that I should really tell someone but I can't. I have the fear of letting my family down, I have a fear that people will laugh at me at school. I have...
    falloutsarah falloutsarah 16-17, F Sep 28, 2014

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    My Secrete

    I've secretly been having a eating disorder and i've been making myself throw up after I eat. I can't even eat without throwing up I'm in the middle of a really confusing situation I either starve myself or eat and throw up. I do it about 9 times a day. I can do silently now I'm...
    666zamara 666zamara 18-21, F Aug 25, 2013

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    I don't eat on purpose.

    When my parents call my name to come eat, i eat as less as possible. Before i take a shower, i look in the mirror and hate what i see. I exercise everyday for tennis in order to obtain a scholarship. I weigh around 110 and i still want to go down. I want to stay skinny and get...
    jess53139 jess53139 18-21, F 2 Responses Feb 1, 2014

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    Here Goes Nothing

    So I am new here and I don't exactly know if it qualifies an eating disorder (I am not stick thin yet). I have had issues with my weight almost all my life (I am 15 yrs old) My parents have always told me to lose weight. My mother tells me I have to lose weight almost every day...
    Anonymous1297 Anonymous1297 13-15, F Apr 11, 2012

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    Depression and Eating

    I go 5 day straighy without eating.Im not hungry ,sometimes I want to vomit from the smell of food. When we have to go out to eat w/fam i worry  that im going to have ti eat. I understand depression and eating go hand an hand, Im dealing with my babies deathits only been 5...
    eyeonu1020 eyeonu1020 31-35, F 2 Responses Oct 27, 2008

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    Compulsive Eating & Food Addiction

    I'm very sure that I suffer from Compulsive Eating Disorder and food addiction. Nobody knows this. Everyone thinks I just need to make myself stop eating. Like all EDs, it just doesn't work that way. I've done a lot of research on both and I fit so many of the criteria. I'm...
    DietIcedTea DietIcedTea 36-40, F 2 Responses Jul 4, 2009

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    My Ed

    iv had an eating disorder for nearly 3 and half years now. its been a secret for these years - everyone thinks im really happy and normal etc but i feel so sad all of the time. its like i cant do anything right. i tried to tell my friend but it was awful and now our...
    mia27 mia27 18-21, F Feb 11, 2010

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    I secretly suffer from EDNOS.

    . I mostly suffer from symptoms of Anorexia but if I feel like I've eaten to much or I feel sick, I then feel the need to make myself vomit, which makes me feel better.. I'm currently around 173cm (5ft.7)and weigh 64kg (141.1 pounds) and currently I want to be about 60kg (132.3...
    Catho Catho 18-21, F 4 Responses Oct 24, 2014

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    None Of My Friends Know.

    It's sooo hard to have anorexia and not be able to tell my friends! I don't want to be judged, one of my friends even said that people "choose" to have an eating disorder!! The only person that knows (Other than my family) is my boyfriend! I have no one to talk to about this!!
    Hannahs30 Hannahs30 13-15, F 1 Response May 4, 2012

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    Secrets

    I don't consider myself anorexic per se, only because I haven't been diagnosed. Although to say that I don't have an eating disorder would be a lie.  In the beginning of October I started having some health issues, the doctors originally thought it was an ulcer because  I was...
    pinkcorsage pinkcorsage 18-21, F Nov 21, 2012

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    I used to weigh myself everyday.

    I don't now because my scale is broken. I purposely skip meals sometimes. I calorie restrict a lot. I binge. I am on both extremities of eating and not eating. Sometimes I don't tell people what I eat. I exercise randomly. Sometimes accessively. I am an emotional eater...
    Jackiebh Jackiebh 22-25, F Aug 25, 2014

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    Be Happy

    I am scared, genuinly scared. It's like there is a hand tightening around my neck. With every passing day, I feel it's closing my windpipe more. How is it that you believe you are so in control of everything, but in fact you'll find that that's not much the case? It starts out...
    AllysonH AllysonH 18-21, F 2 Responses Oct 29, 2008

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    I Hate Myself..(possible Trigger For Some)

    I haven't been diagnosed with an eating disorder because I haven't seen a doctor personally about it. I just told my case manager I have body issues. I fit some of the criteria for anorexia nervosa, but I fit nearly all Ednos criteria. I am so ashamed. I have been binging several...
    brokenangel82 brokenangel82 26-30, F 3 Responses May 31, 2012

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    Clueless

    I have been battling with Bulimia and Anorexia since I was 11. I have gone to the hospital twice from dehydration, my voice is always raspy, I always feel lightheaded, But my family has no idea. Sometimes I wish they would find out so I dont have to fight this anymore, but I'm...
    StarvedAndScarred StarvedAndScarred 18-21, F 2 Responses Feb 5, 2012

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    What a Waste...

    For me, it's the best secret I've ever kept. Nobody knows. Some suspect, but it is so easy to make them believe otherwise. "Ana consumes me. I don't consume anything." That's what these pro-anorexia websites say. I am disgusted by them. I don't think these stick...
    AllysonH AllysonH 18-21, F 2 Responses Oct 26, 2008

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    Surprised?

    i have lately have been getting so sick, people look at me and say but why is she so sick? its because i skip meals, i dont eat. i just dont eat. i run everyday, and do lots of exercises to get rid of all the fat. i weigh less than what i should. but i stop at a certain point...
    ProfessorPsycho ProfessorPsycho 13-15, F Aug 24, 2013

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    I guess a lot of people have it worse

    than I do. But I still wish I didn't think the way I did about food and weight. I really don't think body size matters in other people so why do I care so much about myself? I "on-and-off" starve myself and last week I lost around 5 pounds in 3 days and I'd give anything to do...
    annafairy annafairy 16-17, F Jan 22, 2014

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    Tomorrow I start a strict starving diet.

    I can't take this anymore. :'( im giving in...
    MrCutBleedSmile MrCutBleedSmile 18-21, M 1 Response Feb 15

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    My Secret Battle....

    Its a secret battle that I deal with....When you hear about eating disorders, you think of skinny girls, who just think they are fat, you don't expect to see a fat girl who is struggling to lose weight, and who will skip as many meals as it takes to be skinny. So what if a fat...
    deleted deleted 26-30 3 Responses Sep 4, 2010

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    Selfish Needs.

    I feel embarrassed about myself. I don't fit in with other girls... I don't eat during the day, but when I get home, and my mom has made dinner, I take a few different laxatives and eat as much as I possibly can. When I'm sitting in the bathroom, I repeat over and over to myself...
    slowlyinternallyeat slowlyinternallyeat 16-17, F 2 Responses Dec 22, 2010

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    I Don't Know What To Do...

    I suffer from an eating problem (disorder sounds like skin and bones, and that isn't me) I've recently told my boyfriend and my very best friend. My boyfriend doesn't know how to help, one because he doesn't understand the mind of a women and two, he worries and doesn't know...
    mandycat992 mandycat992 18-21, F Apr 9, 2012

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    Related Experiences

    i had/have an eating disorder for about 6yrs, but the worst times were about 4yrs ago. it was a prison. i never went out because i thought i was ugly & that everything made my fat...
    screambloodygore screambloodygore 26-30, F 1 Response 2 days ago

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    I don't like to say I have, or have had, an eating disorder because I feel it is somewhat unfair to those who's lives have been dangerously altered or taken by it. However, I'm...
    TeaspoonEm17 TeaspoonEm17 16-17, F 2 days ago

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    I am bulimic. selfishly, stupidly, gluttonously bulimic. I binge on just about anything, even if I don't like it much. If it has a flavour and I can get my hands on it, I'm gonna...
    perrytctctc perrytctctc 18-21, F 1 Response 3 days ago

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    Trigger Warning... ... .... ... I started restricting again and everything I been eating, I been wanting to purge - but fighting it. I can't stand feeling so huge!!! 21 years...
    brknsilence79 brknsilence79 31-35, F 4 days ago

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    I feel as though I can't break free from this endless cycle. Just been struggling with food again... I hate this...
    brknsilence79 brknsilence79 31-35, F 5 days ago

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    Please read with care, and take steps to keep yourself feeling safe and secure, if reading about body image and associated topics are triggering for you. I’m your stereotypical...
    ChocolateCurvesModel ChocolateCurvesModel 31-35, F 5 days ago

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    Write about your experiencePlease read with care, and take steps to keep yourself feeling safe and secure, if reading about body image and associated topics are triggering for you...
    ChocolateCurvesModel ChocolateCurvesModel 31-35, F 1 Response 5 days ago

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    i slipped. 21 years of struggling off and on from anorexia and bulimia, I'm still not recovered. ugggg.... :(
    brknsilence79 brknsilence79 31-35, F 6 days ago

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    My TMJ disorder makes me want to snap my jaw. I wonder what it would feel like.
    jjaynes01 jjaynes01 18-21, M 6 days ago

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    I think I'm developing this again. I'm still eating, yeah. Most people think that anorexia is where people don't eat at all. So far today, the only thing I've been able to eat...
    Bflyboo14 Bflyboo14 13-15, F 4 Responses a week ago

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    In the past I suffered from depression and every now and then I still get hit with a bad day (usually directly related to the amount of alcohol consumed). I have quit drinking but...
    Mala1718 Mala1718 26-30, F a week ago

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    I think I suffer from maladaptive daydreaming. but, I don't know really. I Just graduated from high school actually, but seldom was there a day that I didn't daydream in class...
    Lucario89 Lucario89 16-17, M 2 Responses Jun 24

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    Recently, I started having doubts of whether I suffer from clinical depression. I am stuck in an abusive relationship, I don't have a stable group of friends but other than that...
    mdmrmdmr mdmrmdmr 18-21, F Jun 23

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    I'm always suffering from this stuff
    bradley600 bradley600 16-17, M 1 Response Jun 22

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    I canceled my doctors appointment because I didn't want to be weighed. I just got back from vacation and I was forced to eat (meals were prepaid months ago). The fear of getting on...
    Charper44 Charper44 18-21, F 1 Response Jun 22

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    It's getting worse. The bulimia. And I'm not losing weight. So I'm gonna start working out again. A lot. And eating less. I just want to be thin. Is that too much to ask ?
    LoserMaterial LoserMaterial 16-17, F Jun 22

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    I fight depression and while the campaign is going well at the moment I feel as if there is no end to the feelings and struggle of it all. College papers make me anxious. I don't...
    Maybeincubus Maybeincubus 22-25, M 1 Response Jun 20

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    I only have an eating disorder to tackle now, losing weight even when I'm eating normally. Back then when I was losing weight rapidly my mother wasn't worried much the first time...
    Nual Nual 22-25, F 2 Responses Jun 20

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    My first mental illness was major depression, it began around the age of 6. I would become withdrawn from social interaction and remain in my bedroom. I didn't want people to come...
    CelticBoxingGuy CelticBoxingGuy 41-45, M Jun 19

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    Don't tell me I don't look like a binge eater. I'm 17, and have been a binge eater since I was 9. I'm 4'11 and 119LBs (well 111LBs since I started Vyvanse). Not all binge eaters...
    kenzieburr kenzieburr 16-17, F Jun 18

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    Both my spouse and I suffer from some chronic pain and depression, although his chronic pain is worse and more systemic. I have lower back issues and arthritis and he has ehlers...
    jabl61514 jabl61514 26-30, T Jun 18

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    I first started showing signs of major depressive disorder at age 9 and was officially diagnosed at age 14 in a psychiatric institution.
    leggyshay leggyshay 16-17, F Jun 18

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