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I Secretly Suffer From An Eating Disorder

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 148 People

    I guess a lot of people have it worse

    than I do. But I still wish I didn't think the way I did about food and weight. I really don't think body size matters in other people so why do I care so much about myself? I "on-and-off" starve myself and last week I lost around 5 pounds in 3 days and I'd give anything to do...
    annafairy annafairy 16-17, F Jan 22, 2014

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    None Of My Friends Know.

    It's sooo hard to have anorexia and not be able to tell my friends! I don't want to be judged, one of my friends even said that people "choose" to have an eating disorder!! The only person that knows (Other than my family) is my boyfriend! I have no one to talk to about this!!
    Hannahs30 Hannahs30 13-15, F 1 Response May 4, 2012

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    I secretly suffer from EDNOS.

    . I mostly suffer from symptoms of Anorexia but if I feel like I've eaten to much or I feel sick, I then feel the need to make myself vomit, which makes me feel better.. I'm currently around 173cm (5ft.7)and weigh 64kg (141.1 pounds) and currently I want to be about 60kg (132.3...
    Catho Catho 18-21, F 4 Responses Oct 24, 2014

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    What a Waste...

    For me, it's the best secret I've ever kept. Nobody knows. Some suspect, but it is so easy to make them believe otherwise. "Ana consumes me. I don't consume anything." That's what these pro-anorexia websites say. I am disgusted by them. I don't think these stick...
    AllysonH AllysonH 18-21, F 2 Responses Oct 26, 2008

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    Here Goes Nothing

    So I am new here and I don't exactly know if it qualifies an eating disorder (I am not stick thin yet). I have had issues with my weight almost all my life (I am 15 yrs old) My parents have always told me to lose weight. My mother tells me I have to lose weight almost every day...
    Anonymous1297 Anonymous1297 13-15, F Apr 11, 2012

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    My Ed

    iv had an eating disorder for nearly 3 and half years now. its been a secret for these years - everyone thinks im really happy and normal etc but i feel so sad all of the time. its like i cant do anything right. i tried to tell my friend but it was awful and now our...
    mia27 mia27 18-21, F Feb 11, 2010

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    I used to weigh myself everyday.

    I don't now because my scale is broken. I purposely skip meals sometimes. I calorie restrict a lot. I binge. I am on both extremities of eating and not eating. Sometimes I don't tell people what I eat. I exercise randomly. Sometimes accessively. I am an emotional eater...
    Jackiebh Jackiebh 22-25, F Aug 25, 2014

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    Compulsive Eating & Food Addiction

    I'm very sure that I suffer from Compulsive Eating Disorder and food addiction. Nobody knows this. Everyone thinks I just need to make myself stop eating. Like all EDs, it just doesn't work that way. I've done a lot of research on both and I fit so many of the criteria. I'm...
    DietIcedTea DietIcedTea 36-40, F 2 Responses Jul 4, 2009

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    I Don't Know What To Do...

    I suffer from an eating problem (disorder sounds like skin and bones, and that isn't me) I've recently told my boyfriend and my very best friend. My boyfriend doesn't know how to help, one because he doesn't understand the mind of a women and two, he worries and doesn't know...
    mandycat992 mandycat992 18-21, F Apr 9, 2012

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    I don't eat on purpose.

    When my parents call my name to come eat, i eat as less as possible. Before i take a shower, i look in the mirror and hate what i see. I exercise everyday for tennis in order to obtain a scholarship. I weigh around 110 and i still want to go down. I want to stay skinny and get...
    jess53139 jess53139 18-21, F 2 Responses Feb 1, 2014

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    My Secret Battle....

    Its a secret battle that I deal with....When you hear about eating disorders, you think of skinny girls, who just think they are fat, you don't expect to see a fat girl who is struggling to lose weight, and who will skip as many meals as it takes to be skinny. So what if a fat...
    deleted deleted 26-30 3 Responses Sep 4, 2010

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    My Secrete

    I've secretly been having a eating disorder and i've been making myself throw up after I eat. I can't even eat without throwing up I'm in the middle of a really confusing situation I either starve myself or eat and throw up. I do it about 9 times a day. I can do silently now I'm...
    666zamara 666zamara 18-21, F Aug 25, 2013

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    I secretly suffer from bulimia,

    i am not skinny or average weight I am over weight and I'm not stupid, I know that having an eating disorder is horrible. I know that I should really tell someone but I can't. I have the fear of letting my family down, I have a fear that people will laugh at me at school. I have...
    falloutsarah falloutsarah 16-17, F Sep 28, 2014

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    Secrets

    I don't consider myself anorexic per se, only because I haven't been diagnosed. Although to say that I don't have an eating disorder would be a lie.  In the beginning of October I started having some health issues, the doctors originally thought it was an ulcer because  I was...
    pinkcorsage pinkcorsage 18-21, F Nov 21, 2012

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    Clueless

    I have been battling with Bulimia and Anorexia since I was 11. I have gone to the hospital twice from dehydration, my voice is always raspy, I always feel lightheaded, But my family has no idea. Sometimes I wish they would find out so I dont have to fight this anymore, but I'm...
    StarvedAndScarred StarvedAndScarred 18-21, F 2 Responses Feb 5, 2012

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    Surprised?

    i have lately have been getting so sick, people look at me and say but why is she so sick? its because i skip meals, i dont eat. i just dont eat. i run everyday, and do lots of exercises to get rid of all the fat. i weigh less than what i should. but i stop at a certain point...
    ProfessorPsycho ProfessorPsycho 13-15, F Aug 24, 2013

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    I Hate Myself..(possible Trigger For Some)

    I haven't been diagnosed with an eating disorder because I haven't seen a doctor personally about it. I just told my case manager I have body issues. I fit some of the criteria for anorexia nervosa, but I fit nearly all Ednos criteria. I am so ashamed. I have been binging several...
    brokenangel82 brokenangel82 26-30, F 3 Responses May 31, 2012

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    Be Happy

    I am scared, genuinly scared. It's like there is a hand tightening around my neck. With every passing day, I feel it's closing my windpipe more. How is it that you believe you are so in control of everything, but in fact you'll find that that's not much the case? It starts out...
    AllysonH AllysonH 18-21, F 2 Responses Oct 29, 2008

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    Depression and Eating

    I go 5 day straighy without eating.Im not hungry ,sometimes I want to vomit from the smell of food. When we have to go out to eat w/fam i worry  that im going to have ti eat. I understand depression and eating go hand an hand, Im dealing with my babies deathits only been 5...
    eyeonu1020 eyeonu1020 31-35, F 2 Responses Oct 27, 2008

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    Selfish Needs.

    I feel embarrassed about myself. I don't fit in with other girls... I don't eat during the day, but when I get home, and my mom has made dinner, I take a few different laxatives and eat as much as I possibly can. When I'm sitting in the bathroom, I repeat over and over to myself...
    slowlyinternallyeat slowlyinternallyeat 16-17, F 2 Responses Dec 22, 2010

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    Tomorrow I start a strict starving diet.

    I can't take this anymore. :'( im giving in...
    MrCutBleedSmile MrCutBleedSmile 18-21, M 1 Response Feb 15

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    Related Experiences

    I've been suffering with different eating disorders since I was about 7 when I stopped eating because the other kids would bully me about my weight. Then after about a year my...
    FeedingTheWolves FeedingTheWolves 13-15, F 30 mins ago

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    I m having no a hard time dealing with My thoughts of humanity itself, I look around me at what humans have created and can t help thinking I m just an insignificant part of this...
    Akaizia Akaizia 16-17, F 2 Responses 1 day ago

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    I was on a pretty good roll last week. I made it almost a week without binging at night or overeating during the day. Every evening I took the time to make a food plan for the next...
    Robinzasio Robinzasio 41-45, F 1 day ago

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    What an unhealthy thought, but it was my life at one point and I won't ever forget that, because it makes me who I am. From sixth grade to my freshman year of high school I...
    twisteduniverse twisteduniverse 22-25, F 1 day ago

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    Yes I do! Random stabbing pains everywhere!!! There's one in my stomach next to my belly button. There was a BAD one in the bottom of my foot a few minuteS, and now I have one in...
    prettyprude prettyprude 31-35, F 2 days ago

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    Last year I saw an md post on tumblr and I was in shock reading someone's experience of the same "thing"that I do. I was even more surprised seeing the name maladaptive daydreaming...
    erinnmhh erinnmhh 18-21, F 1 Response 2 days ago

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    The worst time when I'm depressed I usually not myself I can't survive without Bella my Labrador Retriever I got Bella for my twenty third birthday back in two thousand and twelve...
    Jolietillinois Jolietillinois 22-25, M 1 Response 2 days ago

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    I know I already wrote about anorexia but i need to clear something about its partner, Bulimia. When you first think about Bulimia you probably see a girl eating an abnormal amount...
    gypsyme gypsyme 13-15 3 days ago

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    Hello. I am 25 and a full time student suffering from fibromyalgia. Some days I find it difficult to go to uni because of it. People keep telling me I'm too young for something...
    writinggirl writinggirl 22-25, F 3 days ago

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    I just find myself alone in my room way too many times. First I was mad at my mom, but now I'm not as upset with her but I prefer to be in my room and just isolate myself from my...
    SilentScream0327 SilentScream0327 18-21, F 4 days ago

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    I just find myself alone in my room way too many times. First I was mad at my mom, but now I'm not as upset with her but I prefer to be in my room and just isolate myself from my...
    SilentScream0327 SilentScream0327 18-21, F 4 days ago

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    possible trigger warning.... I been eating enough these past few days. trying to fight this ED. i look bloated and feel horrible and huge. my thoughts has me think all this is...
    brknsilence79 brknsilence79 31-35, F 2 Responses 5 days ago

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    The mood swings are all over the place and it's so uncomfortable, a feeling of pure sadness and mourning attacks me and it's almost like I've gotten my heartbroken all over again...
    xMellowButterflyx xMellowButterflyx 18-21, F 6 days ago

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    Once upon a time there lived a beautiful couple who loved each other very much. He had a good job and she had designs of brilliance. They were living with a terrible friend of his...
    SoberingBabySteps SoberingBabySteps 31-35, M 6 days ago

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    I don't know where Uwais has gone but I do know he took me with it. I feel as though I've dissappeared even though I can be seen. You've taken my soul with you. My breath feels...
    passingby123 passingby123 22-25, F 3 Responses Aug 24

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    I am just so frustrated and angry with myself right now. I have been trying to get to a normal weight and maintain it for YEARS and I just cannot seem to get there. I am stuck on a...
    Robinzasio Robinzasio 41-45, F Aug 23

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    Last year was probably the worst when I didn't even have a clue what they were - I had an inkling but I didn't want to add on another issue I had to deal with. They felt like...
    Lov3intheasylum Lov3intheasylum 31-35, F 1 Response Aug 22

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    Ever since I left high schooland sadly became a pill addict, I've developed this sense that I will always be overweight. I'm terrified to gain a pound. It started with me running...
    HollyMaria954 HollyMaria954 18-21, F 1 Response Aug 21

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    Major depression, moderate anxiety and schizophrenia have affected my life since I was age six. I recently started a tumblr blog writing about how coping and suffering with these...
    CelticBoxingGuy CelticBoxingGuy 41-45, M Aug 19

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    I have been suffering from depression for quite some time, months or more. Pain has a lot to do with it, but so does circumstance. I am continually tired, and unable to function...
    Glennr67 Glennr67 46-50, M Aug 19

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    For as long as I can remember, I have been using food as a means to cope with difficulties. That's why I was overweight even as a kid. Whenever I felt bad or my parents were angry...
    TheVisionBleak TheVisionBleak 26-30, F Aug 18

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    And am now officially diagnosed... I'm just back from my talk with the psychologist. I feel emotionally heavy, but at the same time as if a burden has been lifted. I eat to fill a...
    DanaJuliana DanaJuliana 22-25, F Aug 17