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I Secretly Suffer From An Eating Disorder

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 100 People

    My Ed

    iv had an eating disorder for nearly 3 and half years now. its been a secret for these years - everyone thinks im really happy and normal etc but i feel so sad all of the time. its like i cant do anything right. i tried to tell my friend but it was awful and now our...
    mia27 mia27 18-21, F Feb 11, 2010

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    I guess a lot of people have it worse

    than I do. But I still wish I didn't think the way I did about food and weight. I really don't think body size matters in other people so why do I care so much about myself? I "on-and-off" starve myself and last week I lost around 5 pounds in 3 days and I'd give anything to do...
    annafairy annafairy 13-15, F Jan 22

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    Be Happy

    I am scared, genuinly scared. It's like there is a hand tightening around my neck. With every passing day, I feel it's closing my windpipe more. How is it that you believe you are so in control of everything, but in fact you'll find that that's not much the case? It starts out...
    AllysonH AllysonH 18-21, F 2 Responses Oct 29, 2008

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    Selfish Needs.

    I feel embarrassed about myself. I don't fit in with other girls... I don't eat during the day, but when I get home, and my mom has made dinner, I take a few different laxatives and eat as much as I possibly can. When I'm sitting in the bathroom, I repeat over and over to myself...
    slowlyinternallyeat slowlyinternallyeat 16-17, F 2 Responses Dec 22, 2010

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    My Secret Battle....

    Its a secret battle that I deal with....When you hear about eating disorders, you think of skinny girls, who just think they are fat, you don't expect to see a fat girl who is struggling to lose weight, and who will skip as many meals as it takes to be skinny. So what if a fat...
    deleted deleted 26-30 3 Responses Sep 4, 2010

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    Compulsive Eating & Food Addiction

    I'm very sure that I suffer from Compulsive Eating Disorder and food addiction. Nobody knows this. Everyone thinks I just need to make myself stop eating. Like all EDs, it just doesn't work that way. I've done a lot of research on both and I fit so many of the criteria. I'm...
    DietIcedTea DietIcedTea 36-40, F 2 Responses Jul 4, 2009

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    Clueless

    I have been battling with Bulimia and Anorexia since I was 11. I have gone to the hospital twice from dehydration, my voice is always raspy, I always feel lightheaded, But my family has no idea. Sometimes I wish they would find out so I dont have to fight this anymore, but I'm...
    StarvedAndScarred StarvedAndScarred 18-21, F 2 Responses Feb 5, 2012

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    My Secrete

    I've secretly been having a eating disorder and i've been making myself throw up after I eat. I can't even eat without throwing up I'm in the middle of a really confusing situation I either starve myself or eat and throw up. I do it about 9 times a day. I can do silently now I'm...
    666zamara 666zamara 16-17, F Aug 25, 2013

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    I used to weigh myself everyday.

    I don't now because my scale is broken. I purposely skip meals sometimes. I calorie restrict a lot. I binge. I am on both extremities of eating and not eating. Sometimes I don't tell people what I eat. I exercise randomly. Sometimes accessively. I am an emotional eater...
    Jackiebh Jackiebh 22-25, F 1 Response a week ago

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    Secrets

    I don't consider myself anorexic per se, only because I haven't been diagnosed. Although to say that I don't have an eating disorder would be a lie.  In the beginning of October I started having some health issues, the doctors originally thought it was an ulcer because  I was...
    pinkcorsage pinkcorsage 18-21, F Nov 21, 2012

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    What a Waste...

    For me, it's the best secret I've ever kept. Nobody knows. Some suspect, but it is so easy to make them believe otherwise. "Ana consumes me. I don't consume anything." That's what these pro-anorexia websites say. I am disgusted by them. I don't think these stick...
    AllysonH AllysonH 18-21, F 2 Responses Oct 26, 2008

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    None Of My Friends Know.

    It's sooo hard to have anorexia and not be able to tell my friends! I don't want to be judged, one of my friends even said that people "choose" to have an eating disorder!! The only person that knows (Other than my family) is my boyfriend! I have no one to talk to about this!!
    Hannahs30 Hannahs30 13-15, F 1 Response May 4, 2012

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    I don't eat on purpose.

    When my parents call my name to come eat, i eat as less as possible. Before i take a shower, i look in the mirror and hate what i see. I exercise everyday for tennis in order to obtain a scholarship. I weigh around 110 and i still want to go down. I want to stay skinny and get...
    jess53139 jess53139 16-17, F 2 Responses Feb 1

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    Surprised?

    i have lately have been getting so sick, people look at me and say but why is she so sick? its because i skip meals, i dont eat. i just dont eat. i run everyday, and do lots of exercises to get rid of all the fat. i weigh less than what i should. but i stop at a certain point...
    ProfessorPsycho ProfessorPsycho 13-15, F Aug 24, 2013

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    I Hate Myself..(possible Trigger For Some)

    I haven't been diagnosed with an eating disorder because I haven't seen a doctor personally about it. I just told my case manager I have body issues. I fit some of the criteria for anorexia nervosa, but I fit nearly all Ednos criteria. I am so ashamed. I have been binging several...
    brokenangel82 brokenangel82 26-30, F 3 Responses May 31, 2012

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    Here Goes Nothing

    So I am new here and I don't exactly know if it qualifies an eating disorder (I am not stick thin yet). I have had issues with my weight almost all my life (I am 15 yrs old) My parents have always told me to lose weight. My mother tells me I have to lose weight almost every day...
    Anonymous1297 Anonymous1297 13-15, F Apr 11, 2012

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    I Don't Know What To Do...

    I suffer from an eating problem (disorder sounds like skin and bones, and that isn't me) I've recently told my boyfriend and my very best friend. My boyfriend doesn't know how to help, one because he doesn't understand the mind of a women and two, he worries and doesn't know...
    mandycat992 mandycat992 18-21, F Apr 9, 2012

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    Depression and Eating

    I go 5 day straighy without eating.Im not hungry ,sometimes I want to vomit from the smell of food. When we have to go out to eat w/fam i worry  that im going to have ti eat. I understand depression and eating go hand an hand, Im dealing with my babies deathits only been 5...
    eyeonu1020 eyeonu1020 31-35, F 2 Responses Oct 27, 2008

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    Can't Stop

    I have had an eating disorder for years. My family and friends knew about it and for a while I stopped, but I started doing it again. I can't bring myself to stop it. Its so hard I would stop for a few days, but the whole day I would be driving myself crazy thinking about it and...
    shellzz shellzz 18-21, F May 22, 2012

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    Related Experiences

    I finally have accepted the diagnosis of bipolar disorder 1 after being off my meds for two years..(I thought I could beat it :/) my episodes in the last six months have been so...
    smilecry81 smilecry81 31-35, F 6 days ago

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    It truly feels like a demon lives inside my head. I'm so sick of living with these illnesses. When I talk to my fiancé about what I'm thinking about and what I'm going through, he...
    Mileena28 Mileena28 18-21, F 1 Response 6 days ago

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    Gosh! Where to begin? So it’s fair to say that I haven’t been suffering for as long as some people with their eating disorders but I can’t dismiss the fact that I HAVE been...
    Thatgirl889 Thatgirl889 16-17, F 1 Response Aug 5

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    I can remember the moment and day when I was 15 years old and started my long journey with anorexia and bulimia the same way an alcoholic can remember their first drink. I started...
    scmichelle051 scmichelle051 31-35, F 1 Response Aug 2

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    When I first entered this site and looked for eating disorder support and help I came across some entries. All of the responses were for 'pro-mia pro-ana' ........ Can I please...
    caitcaitc caitcaitc 18-21, F Aug 14

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    I debated wether to join this group or one that uses the term "might have" an eating disorder. I've studied it. Logically I know I do. But sometimes I feel just utterly paranoid...
    danii92 danii92 18-21, F 5 days ago

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    Back when I was 22, I suffered from a really bad panic disorder. I had the worst kind of anxiety out there. A panic disorder is the highest level of anxiety. I suffered from it for...
    kamishiro kamishiro 26-30, M 3 Responses Aug 16

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    During my sophomore year of high school I suffered from ENDOS. In my sophomore year, I realized that I wasn't happy with my body, and I was gonna do something about it. It...
    rumblingheart rumblingheart 16-17, F Aug 18

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    So basically i have an eating disorder and i think my teacher was figuring out that i had one and i need to know if you guys think that he started to figure it out or not. At lunch...
    flowerqueenx flowerqueenx 13-15, F 2 Responses Aug 20

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    I was looking through some old pictures, deleting a lot of them and I saw how thin I was in my prime... Gah. I always aspired to be thinspo lol and it looks like I am, for myself...
    KilljoyKitty KilljoyKitty 18-21, F 1 Response Aug 5

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    About a week ago, I realized that I am suffering from depression. That I have been for about 7 months. I never realized it before because I would just push my feelings and thoughts...
    LameyC LameyC 18-21, F Aug 21

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    Each day more n more i think about it i think im starting to get my eating disorder again i feel so worthless and disgusting,self hate i feel like i don't want to be strong i don't...
    desitor desitor 16-17, F Aug 11

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    I get so scared of gaining weight. And I've been told many times by my step mom that I am fat. I used to think I was so pretty. I didn't think I was fat. I actually looked very...
    AshLovesLink AshLovesLink 16-17, F 2 Responses Aug 12

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    exercising because I want to. Not because I want to lose weight. I will not let my eating disorder control me
    disasterland disasterland 18-21, F 2 Responses Aug 12

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    I'm a very level headed teenager. And then I got told I had an eating disorder and now it controls my life... Every day I think about food constantly, I don't eat it but I...
    justsmile1990 justsmile1990 18-21, F 3 Responses Aug 13

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    Message me if you want to chat, if anyone's going through/been through an eating disorder I'd appreciate talking to someone who understands
    justsmile1990 justsmile1990 18-21, F 4 Responses Aug 13

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    Having an eating disorder and hearing people constantly nagging you to "just eat" really sucks.
    bibaaa bibaaa 18-21, F 4 Responses Aug 21

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    I would love to give a big ef' you to all of the people in my life who ever believed I developed an eating disorder for attention. 20 years later, I guess I must have not achieved...
    staleMommyof4 staleMommyof4 31-35, F 1 Response Aug 21

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    It's the sixth month of my ED now. I've lost five kilograms , don't feel weak at all tho. The same routine continues everyday college, studies, work , home, the tiring cycle...
    CrushednBroken CrushednBroken 26-30, F 4 days ago

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    I am not sure if I suffer from MD. I had ADD as a child and I my personality is a little OC but I do not have obsessive compulsive disorder. When I was a child, I daydreamed from...
    olddrive olddrive 36-40, F 1 Response Aug 11

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    Finally after years of suffering from debilitating depression, anxiety, panic attacks, flash backs, nightmares & living all day everyday with that terrible sense of dread in the...
    LunaGypsy LunaGypsy 31-35, F a week ago

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    Anybody else suffer from a panic disorder or even just panic attacks, I'd really appreciate a chat.
    Flawlless Flawlless 18-21, F 3 Responses Aug 9

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    I have suffered from Body Dysmorphic Disorder for 11 years. I am at my lowest point and feel completely exhausted and depressed. My two biggest concerns include my skin and hair. I...
    ShyRach ShyRach 22-25, F 1 Response 3 days ago

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    I've been suffering from acute depression for years. I've hidden my illness for a long time because I figured that It would go away as I grow older. However, that has not been the...
    agathashelly agathashelly 26-30, F 1 Response Aug 13

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    I cant understand it, i just don't know how to feel. I have suffered from Anxiety for the majority of my life. I have suffered from depression for about 5 years. Ive had panic...
    FayeAndMerlin FayeAndMerlin 16-17, F 1 Response Aug 8

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    I need to say something. Please realize when you tell a depressed person (who actually suffers from true depression), that "things will get better" or "you have people that care...
    Jpeavey Jpeavey 41-45, M 8 Responses 5 days ago

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    Since middle school and before entering high school, this problem has caused me a lot of social pains. I have trouble socializing, even having conversations. My school grades...
    OperaG OperaG 16-17, F 3 Responses 14 hrs ago

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    At 45 years old I'm starting to notice how my nighmarish childhood has and still is effecting me. I'm the youngest of 3 children and family scapegoat. Both my parents were youngest...
    brainwrecked brainwrecked 36-40, F Aug 15

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    At 45 years old I'm starting to notice how my nighmarish childhood has and still is effecting me. I'm the youngest of 3 children and family scapegoat. Both my parents were youngest...
    brainwrecked brainwrecked 36-40, F Aug 15

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    it started of simple daydreams. whenever I was in the car, I would always daydream about my favourite show and pretend that the show was real and I would daydream about my...
    silentgirl1234 silentgirl1234 13-15, F 2 Responses Aug 16

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