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I Secretly Think I Have Gone Mad

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 4,511 People

    Yep. Im There.

    This last year has been the absolute hardest and most traumatic years of my life thus far.And it literally has driven me insane.YIPPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
    Punk1n Punk1n 31-35, F 9 Responses Oct 13, 2011

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    I used to and maybe still get paranoid

    when I overhear random bits of conversation and think people are talking about me instead of to me like I am Mr. Scrooge in the Christmas carol when he's out and about with the ghosts. It's very weird.
    Letmebepatient Letmebepatient 31-35, M 1 Response Jan 10

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    What Was I To Do

    spring break, I noticed she was always stealing a glance at me her boyfriend was a close new friend, we all went for a vacation together in a group i went with them just because one of my friends forced me all i wanted was to have a vacation on my own, to release some of the...
    frankenstaine frankenstaine 26-30, M 4 Responses Nov 7, 2011

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    Feeling Little

    I feel "small" right now.  I guess it's something that's hard to explain... no i don't harbor the belief that i have multiple personalities as i am almost always cognitively aware of what's going on... but some times.... its just like a part of me shrinks...and...
    Shierke Shierke 26-30, F 7 Responses Jan 2, 2008

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    Crazycakez

    I dont think its so much of a secret anymore honestly.
    EdieQuinnz EdieQuinnz 31-35, F 31 Responses Sep 22, 2011

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    So, who's to determine who's gone mad

    or not? Much like every other emotion, the individual dictates if they have gone mad. I feel nothing anymore. To the point where I'm suffocating and I don't care. I don't blend in with this cruel world. I don't feel I belong. Who's to say I've gone mad and that I am just...
    inkedmommy inkedmommy 22-25, F Dec 17, 2013

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    I don't think random urges to take part in

    'sadistic' pleasures are normal. Anyone else? I cannot sleep, I cannot stop thinking, and I'm pretty sure that I will be paranoid for the rest of my life.
    StopLookingAtMe StopLookingAtMe 16-17, F Apr 29, 2014

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    You Say That Like Its a Bad Thing?????

    Actually I don't even bother to pretend it's a secret. I have begun to revel in it and I may be mad as a march hare ....But I'm lots more at ease in my own skin. This is not to make light of others pain . Just the reflections of someone who has been on this path for a long while...
    Mountainman923518 Mountainman923518 56-60, M 4 Responses Jun 6, 2007

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    A Conversation With The Parents

    On sunday night, I was quietly preparing my slides for tomorrow's presentation as I watched White Collar when my parent walked into the room and sat down to watch T.V.. They talked about the goings-on of the church until they said something about our neighbors and I inquired of...
    Calicoder Calicoder 22-25, M 1 Response Aug 13, 2012

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    I wonder just how much hurt

    and emotional pain the human heart can actually take...before it just ceases to beat.
    tenderhearted1 tenderhearted1 41-45, F 6 Responses Dec 15, 2014

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    Not Secretly...

    I think everyone knows I am crazy -_-
    CrazyHippieChick CrazyHippieChick 22-25, F 10 Responses Dec 17, 2010

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    I do wild **** for no apparent reason,

    or lose my temper over little things when just a few weeks ago I used to be level headed and I always feel insanely warm it's like I'm pissed for some reason and don't know why.. Does that make sense?
    avo3 avo3 18-21, M 3 Responses Jan 18

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    I Do Not Understand "normal".

    I'm a smart person.....i can tell you what an Atom is made of, what a quark is, what a gluon is, about all the earth like planets we have discovered so far, the largest star, the smallest particle, binary star systems or about how color is actually just a reflection.....etc...
    deleted deleted 26-30 6 Responses Jul 2, 2012

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    I have a lot of friends,

    but I always think that they are all conspiring to emotionally crush me. Even if they are always there for me, I secretly believe that they are all up to something. These thoughts are really driving me insane. Any tips?
    CocoLikesCooki3s CocoLikesCooki3s 18-21, M 1 Response 5 days ago

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    BeenTroughItAll BeenTroughItAll 16-17, F 1 Response Jan 10

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    I once heard I don't know

    where from, that in order for love to actually be love it must be mutual otherwise it is an obsession, lamo I guess I'm jus a tad bit obsessed along with my constant imaginative thoughts of what could be while refusing to accept what really is and the only way I escape the...
    avo3 avo3 18-21, M Jan 15

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    Some days don't u feel like u want to give up?

    To not do anything.. To be away from the world? To not talk to people or text them anymore... Sleeping is worst because then you think so much and it gets to you... And idk some days you just want to forget every memory you have
    fragmentsoftheheart fragmentsoftheheart 18-21, F 2 Responses Jan 5

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    But It's All Ok Because...

    You wouldn't like me if I was sane anyways.
    RenBean RenBean 31-35, F 4 Responses May 25, 2011

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    If This Is Madness...

    It's not so bad.   Sure there's more than one voice in my head sometimes but none of them are telling me to kill people.   So what, my dad's schizophrenic and I have a 30% chance of inheriting it... He's killed/attemtped to kill people and animals. I'm a vegetarian...
    SaharaOdeil SaharaOdeil 22-25, F 1 Response Apr 1, 2008

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    Im so **** at my lover,

    I have argue with him all day, sure I'm still mad, but I also want to be around him. but I don't... I'm confused...
    sealedfresh sealedfresh 36-40, F 2 Responses Nov 24, 2014

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    Throw all the ill-advised things I've done in

    the past together and even I can admit things don't look that... sane. What can one do about the past though, except try to straighten out one's wrongs and slog on? It has been a constant dilemma even as a child that I feel out of sync and disconnected from the rest of the human...
    morea morea 22-25, F 2 Responses Dec 23, 2014

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    ForbiddenSubmissive1 ForbiddenSubmissive1 26-30, F 1 Response Dec 3, 2014

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    I am currently a stay home mom right now

    and been having issues with my husband about finances. He sees things differently how to spend our money. He thinks getting my nails done and a 20$ massage every month is waste of money. In my opinion, I think this is the only outlet for me to release stress. I wanted to go...
    kay1cee kay1cee 31-35, F 2 Responses Jan 15

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    Wtf?

    I grew up in San Francisco, a very social party animal. Now I live in the Midwest, a nice quiet home in the country on 18 acres. There is nothing I have in common with the locals, no hunting, no Church, no NASCAR, no country music, etc. I now find myself a hermit, closing people...
    neonshades neonshades 51-55, M 1 Response Jul 1, 2012

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    Sometimes reality just doesn't seem "real"

    enough for me and I think I'm in a dream .... Have I gone mad
    Rapsest99 Rapsest99 13-15, M Jan 4

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    Shut Up....no You Shut Up....

    so i have been having this conversation for the last two hours,before adding here , in depth ....discussing every possibility, checking facts, just talking it out first  .... with myself. we have come to the conclusion... im just fine.awesome stuff!
    deleted deleted 26-30 3 Responses Oct 4, 2011

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    Nowhere

    Run if you wish Pray your legs will save you Cry if you wish Pray your tears will clean your wounds Jump into the ocean if you wish Pray your soul will flee with the water But in all your passion for nonexistence I'm praying you would stay Us, nobodies Here, nowhere to go In my...
    frankenstaine frankenstaine 26-30, M 5 Responses Sep 30, 2011

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    well I just took the argument.

    ha ha I win I do like coffee more than tea
    wigglemuch wigglemuch 31-35, M Dec 22, 2014

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    I have had couple of times frustrated could not

    figure way out, most of the time it happens when I can't find my way out. During that time spent thinking, I have hunch of 'doubt' what I decided to do, I shock me if I decided to do it even it's not what I think I would do. At times I felt **** after, at times, I felt I have...
    Puckerlipjunkie Puckerlipjunkie 22-25, F 1 Response Dec 17, 2014

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    "What's That Bird Doing?!"

    The other day me and my mum were walking down the road on our way to the bus stop, we were going to the opticians for an eye test... A little way ahead of us I saw a bird fly from the roof of a house and onto a grass verge. As we got closer the bird caught my eye again, it was...
    SaharaOdeil SaharaOdeil 22-25, F 4 Responses Apr 1, 2008

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    What Is Happening To Me..?

    I've always had an assortment of issues but lately things have been getting weirder and weirder. I have been assessing myself and have noticed that I frequently have very strong ideas & thoughts about things and at the same time I have completely different thoughts that go...
    KawaiiDoll KawaiiDoll 18-21, F 2 Responses Aug 4, 2011

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    Bloody Nightmare

    I had this dream last nite, the entire length of the dream I was hoping it was only infact a dream. But the entire time i thought that " no this is it.. its not a dream and this is crazy" My dream took place outside of a house, just like every other dream I have. My...
    ginger ginger 19-21, F 4 Responses Nov 11, 2006

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    It's the moments I'm left in my own thoughts

    after having a million struggles with different parties, I feel like I wanna shoot my self. I hate self petty, but for **** sake, I'm going crazy .......
    Gemma3sahara Gemma3sahara 31-35, F 3 Responses Sep 23, 2014

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    Maria0439 Maria0439 22-25, F 4 Responses Jan 13

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    See Out of My Eyes

    I saw a squirrel the other day on the sidewalk and I jumped, surprised and not wanting to step on it. Then I realized it was a tiny squirrel statue made out of stone off to the side. I examined it closely and laughed at my mistake. I was walking away as I turned to look at it...
    realitychallenged realitychallenged 16-17, F 6 Responses Mar 22, 2008

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    So Many Reasons...

    There are tons of reasons i think i'm crazy, but i have to decipher MY voice in my head from the Goddess' voice in my head. (I'm Pagan) And there's also all this extra stuff i have going on that involves faeries and magic and.... its' very very very complicated, and worse to...
    candiipup candiipup 22-25, F 2 Responses Mar 31, 2008

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    Sometimes really late at night.

    . to get really fast to another room in my house, I run full speed laughing like a maniac!
    lilmissdgaf lilmissdgaf 31-35, F 2 Responses Jan 2

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    Ok so i was driving home

    and i was having some weird hallucinations of people walking across the road when there were none, black walls in the middle of the road, and black abyss in the forthcoming darkness. I dont understand how i was seeing these things. I dont do drugs, however i had taken benedryl...
    Xychorite Xychorite 16-17, M 1 Response Jan 1

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    It's midnight and I'm smoking weed whilst

    listening to some pretty dark music. I can't help but feel pensive and at peace. The girl I'm sleeping with keeps texting me, says she wants to be inside me. I tell reply that I wouldn't mind hurting her. I'm so brutally honest when I'm high. I wouldn't mind letting her...
    Xellix Xellix 22-25, F 1 Response Dec 26, 2014

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    Callistowed Callistowed 16-17, M 21 hrs ago

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    I do think I'm going crazy,

    it's a complicated thought though. It's just kind of hard to describe why because it's all in my head and it makes sense there but not in word form
    secretlyfelix secretlyfelix 18-21 Jan 1, 2014

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    i said im so sensitive

    and he said shut up i opened my heart and he said shut up i thought this app would help me but i was wrong again
    rthbs rthbs 16-17, F 1 Response 2 days ago

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    ...

    Mines no secret all my friends think I'm nuts
    teemonkeysocks teemonkeysocks 18-21, F Oct 22, 2013

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    when I get really upset

    and angry. or when someone really hurts me (mentally or physically) I break down, cry. then my mind forgets things. like.. what just happened. why I was upset in the first place. it scares me
    Krisxo Krisxo 22-25, F 1 Response Dec 3, 2014

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    Probably am if I have to take antipsychotics.

    But seriously, my mind races with perpetual thoughts of philosophy and science and math and random things that would drive anyone else insane. Sometimes my mind clutters up with so many thoughts, I just have to sit there and wait for my brain to calm down. There are so many...
    Audrina14 Audrina14 13-15, F 4 Responses Jan 12, 2014

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    Stickers

    So I wrote a story for my breadth subject at uni... had to hand it in a few days ago... let's hope it goes alright... Thought you people might enjoy it. NOTE: the bits that are supposed to be italicised are in *askterisks* because you can't italicise stuff on here... STICKERS...
    CaitieLynn CaitieLynn 18-21, F 2 Responses Nov 16, 2012

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    Yes, Yes I Have.

    I feel the madness eating away the saneness inside of me. It's like "OH HELLO NORMAL, GOOD-BYE NORMAL. HI CRAZY!! COME SIT WITH US, WE WANT YOU HERE. YOU'RE WELCOMED. FORGET EVERYTHING ELSE!!" That's how it feels. Have I secretly gone mad? Or was I always secretly insane? Will we...
    WiltingBlossom WiltingBlossom 18-21, F 3 Responses Dec 17, 2010

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    I constantly feel like I'm on acid :/ like right

    now it feels like the room is moving young getting bigger and smaller. Expanding like a ballon then shrinking again... I think I'm going crazy again.
    drawmysmile drawmysmile 16-17, F Dec 24, 2014

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    I have been married for 21 years

    and don't know how or why I have stay so long...my husband is 15 years older than me (I know that was my first mistake) We have nothing at all in common. He doesn't even talk to me unless it's something negative or something about my dog that he didn't even want anything to do...
    RhonH3501 RhonH3501 46-50, F 4 Responses a week ago

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    These voices are here are not my own,

    and it's hard to tell if these tears are. It seems as though nothing's working. I had medication and it stopped working. I'm on natural remedies and they're not working. I have a psychiatrist and that's not helping. I fear more mood changes. I fear more anxiety attacks. I'm...
    Audrina14 Audrina14 13-15, F 1 Response Jun 1, 2014

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    Related Experiences

    i have been made stronger by u hating me while i loved you for 3 years now i can finaly move on and enjoy my life and put u where u put me in the past so a big **** u and thank u...
    loverman115 loverman115 22-25, M Jan 18

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