I See Gnomes Stealing My Underpants Late At Night

They say: "Phase One: Collect underpants. Phase Two: ???. Phase Three: Profit!" 130 People

    Race Car Undies

    It was February, a cold night and Jack Frost was beating at the house some fierce. I listened as I sometimes do, to the spitting ice hitting the window. I love that sound, the cold outside pelting its lonely song of "let me in" with every breath of wind. I began...
    MichaelValentine MichaelValentine
    41-45, M
    2 Responses Nov 20, 2009

    At 3am......

    i love the underpants gnomes! "time to go to work! work all night! search for underpants, we! we won't stop till have underpants! yum tum yummy tum teee!" underpants gnomes know a lot about corporations. ::nods knowingly::
    journeyfulloflaughter journeyfulloflaughter
    26-30, F
    9 Responses Feb 29, 2008
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    3 Responses Apr 16, 2009

    Rustle In My Drawers.

    every time i start to fall asleep to sleep, i hear a rustle in my underwear drawer.  i want to be among other people who are tired of choosing between not feeling rested and going commando!
    nicolaluna nicolaluna
    36-40, F
    1 Response Mar 4, 2009

    The Little Boogers

    I wonder why they do it? Perhaps they need the material to make those delightful little hats...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    May 6, 2011

    Well, Not My Underpants

    them damn gnomes have grabbed some of my crap.  they love zippo lighters,  i dont know why but they love them a damn zippo...... the lighter would be gone for days,  not to mention we tore up our living room looking for it,,  then days later,  what...
    morningstarr morningstarr
    31-35, F
    7 Responses Mar 27, 2008

    No, But Sea-monkies Stole My Car Keys Once! Lol

    if you think i'm kidding, ask them. they're here with me now! lol hey! gimme back those car keys! (running after them like a mad woman)
    trixi trixi
    41-45, F
    Apr 18, 2008

    Autumn Wood

    Autumn brown dormant wood Head down grey sky Winter sun
    inrecovery1001 inrecovery1001
    46-50, M
    1 Response Jan 31, 2012

    Which Is Why

    I never wear underwear. It wasn't bad then they broke in and took them from my dresser.  I liked it when the took them from the clothes hamper because that meant less laundry. But when they started on pulling off my sleeping body that was enough!  You never know where...
    passionateactorxox passionateactorxox
    31-35, M
    4 Responses Dec 17, 2009

    That Darn Gnome

    and if i see the likes of them in these parts again, im gonna have to give them a good lickin. Im running out of stores that sell underpants. And money, good underpants are not cheap! ****** gnomes .....why i ask why?
    hopper130 hopper130
    26-30, M
    3 Responses Jan 21, 2010

    Ive Seen a Gnome

    When I was 5, I was on the toilet going to the bathroom and my grandma was in the bathroom with me. I remember that a little guy goint about 50 mph zoomed from my grandmas bedroom to the kitchen. He was wearing brown and green elf shoes, and he was blurry from speed. My grandma...
    exslut exslut
    22-25, F
    3 Responses May 6, 2008

    well..... lol.... ummm.

    ..... Or....maybe they're just leprechauns.
    SweeetKiester SweeetKiester
    41-45, F
    3 Responses Nov 17, 2014

    This is a true story 😜Last night,

    whilst in the most ravenous slumber, I was awakened with a start by a shuffling sound. Disoriented, I fumbled for my phone on the bed stand and turned on my flashlight app. Out of the corner of my eye I saw a flash of movement. Now I confess, I only caught a brief glimpse. I...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    6 Responses May 13, 2015

    Argh..........

    They do! They really do! I woke up once, surrounded by garden gnomes. Not sure if theyre big in america, but where my friend lives everyone has them in their gardens. We were playing Kings, a drinking game with cards, and with every card you have to do something. The 6 became...
    Tesse Tesse
    18-21, F
    3 Responses Feb 29, 2008

    It Started....

    ... when I realised some of my nicest knickers were missing. So one night, I pretended to be asleep but kept an eye out for my underwear drawer. Then I saw it! Them! There! Stealing all my underwear in colour order. First they took all my blue ones, then my purple ones, then...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    1 Response Apr 9, 2008

    Late At Night

    Late at night,Lately,Strange goings on,My underpants,Hanging on the line,No more,The bloody garden gnomes,I bought the other day,Coming alive,Stealing my undies,What they want with them,I don'no,One thing's for sure,Wish they'd stop!
    startinover1 startinover1
    46-50
    Apr 3, 2012

    This One .. Naughty Gnomes Lol

    Dont know why they stole this one .. :P
    DollyDiva DollyDiva
    26-30, F
    5 Responses Dec 17, 2009

    Tweak Saw Them

    Tweak saw the Gnomes, Cartman,Stan,Kenny and Kyle followed the Gnomes and now we understand why they steal underpants.It's just business..nothing personal.
    wiseowl wiseowl
    61-65, F
    1 Response Mar 1, 2008

    I Haven't Actually Seen Them

    Who else could it be?  I mean really, what else could possible have happened to that perfect pair of panties?  Wear them once, maybe twice and presto---they've vanished.  Are they under the bed?  No  Behind the washer?  No  In the dog bed? ...
    goddessone goddessone
    41-45, F
    9 Responses Mar 1, 2008

    A Government Grant Needed

    i used to blame the dryer monster for our missing socks,untill last night.  i was alerted by my patrol/attack cat of a desturbance by the dirty clothes hamper. imagine my surprise to find a trio of masked gnomes stealing not only undies but selected socks. my cat and i...
    sbigay sbigay
    46-50, F
    2 Responses Apr 10, 2008

    Panties

    Bad little imps. When I run out out of panties, they will have to find another sour e. I shall go commando! Maybe I'll leave them my sisters address. Wouldn't that phone call be fun( snicker)
    moondancelady moondancelady
    51-55, F
    6 Responses Dec 13, 2011

    Only the Lace Ones

    I think they are building something made of lace with them, they also took my black pants. Maybe to use as a base. Sneaky little sh!t gnomes anyway...
    cinfullynn cinfullynn
    46-50, F
    10 Responses Apr 18, 2008

    Yeah!

    And the little buggers made off with my keys this morning too. I've tried trapping them, but they always wriggle free.
    LucidDementia LucidDementia
    18-21, F
    1 Response May 14, 2008

    Damn Them!

    They steal my panty hose too. I think the gnomes that live in my house live by the ocean and they use my panty hose to catch fish. as for the underwear, I have no clue.
    cassandrathethinkerbleedsteal cassandrathethinkerbleedsteal
    18-21, F
    1 Response Apr 18, 2008

    I think it's the one a few streets away

    who is married to the Dutch girl statue. Shame on him, that little scallywag!
    ErraticSarcastic ErraticSarcastic
    31-35, F
    1 Response Oct 30, 2015

    What About Nailclippers?

    I think they steal nailclippers too.  Or maybe there are other nailclipper gnomes that specialize.
    musikkvinne musikkvinne
    26-30, F
    1 Response Aug 1, 2009

    THEY Always Steal

    They always steal the good pairs, never the old beat up ones.... Damn Gnomes... I think they have deals with Hanes and FOTL LOL
    siggy10 siggy10
    31-35, M
    6 Responses Jul 24, 2008

    Non-believer. I confess.

    I didn't believe in the elusive Lepri-gnome. I didn't believe until ... I heard the noises in the middle of the night. Shuffling fabric metal scraping against metal. Each time I'd open my eyes and sit up in bed. No one was there. Yet, in the morning, there was no...
    SubSided SubSided
    46-50, F
    2 Responses May 23, 2015

    FYI I Dont Really See Them

    but i kinda wish i did. lol.  they are just so cute!  it brings to mind a bf i had a few years back who was a bit of a pothead it turns out (i didn't know until the very end).  but anyway, he had this lawn gnome he would bring along with us on trips (kinda like the...
    trixi trixi
    41-45, F
    13 Responses Apr 18, 2008

    No Worries---congress Is On It!

    The congressional oversight committee has formed a committee to oversee this oversight. Soon they'll have proposed a very indepth proposal to look into this indepth, and you can bank on the bank backing this effort as well. It really has the masses in hysteria causing mass...
    qff35 qff35
    46-50, M
    Apr 18, 2008

    I Really Don't Mind Though.

    It's a sacred holey ritual.
    DrewBerry DrewBerry
    46-50, F
    4 Responses Mar 28, 2008
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