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I Self Harm

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 1,292 People

    ... and I Enjoy It.

    I hurt myself, and I have no intention of stopping either. I used to wish I could stop - but that's when I thought I had a problem. What I do is no worse than smoking or drinking. SI won't give me cancer, it won't rot my liver, it won't paralyze me or give me a horrible STD. As...
    slowrewind slowrewind 21-25, F 10 Responses May 6, 2007

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    Wanting To Forget.

    If someone took a photograph of the worst time of your life and displayed it to you every day, you would never, forget. On the one hand, you probably would never forget anyway. Afterall, it's imprinted on your brain.But on the other, why make the pain real, instead of just a...
    Dayloverr Dayloverr 16-17, F 1 Response Feb 5, 2011

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    Im Not Depressed

    I dont cut myself when im feeling depressed when im depressed i write poetry or music but its when im angry at myself that i cut. I hadn't done it for a while until the other day when my mum was yelling at me for locking the dog outside in the rain for half an hour (by accident...
    loobiesa loobiesa 22-25, F 6 Responses Aug 15, 2007

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    A Gateway To Hell

    When I was a little girl, my mom walked out of my life. After she left, I was sexually, physically, and emotionally abused for about two years.. Since I was just a young girl... I didn't know how to deal with it... That's when I started self harming. I punched myself in the face...
    ALovelyLostLoner ALovelyLostLoner 13-15 May 6, 2012

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    Keep Counting

    One, two, skip a few...sixteen. Sixteen cuts, red and glaring, running up and down my thigh. I stare at them, mesmerized. The guilt has not yet set in. Right now, all I feel is relief. Relief and euphoria. Relief because, despite the pain, it replaces every other pain. The sting...
    deleted deleted 26-30 6 Responses Jul 9, 2012

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    i relapsed again. i held it all together during

    the move, through finding out that one of my friends from college had died and going to her funeral that's when the feeling of being alone kicked in. i started to feel empty, like i was numb and it all got just too much, before i realised what i was doing i took a stanley knife...
    makeitsomeday makeitsomeday 18-21, F Aug 10

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    Thinking About Self Harm

    When I was a teenager I used think about suicide a lot but never attempted it. As I got older I stopped thinking about it & started thinking about self-harm instead. When I was a child I was keeping a secret (which I never should have kept a secret) & I started to think...
    neuronice neuronice 26-30, F 9 Responses Jun 17, 2007

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    *This is a bit of a rant,

    sorry* I've managed to keep from self-injuring for over 7 years, and am very proud of that. However, as of late, the urge had come back. In November my long-distance girlfriend broke up with me as she saw us having no future together (we live in different countries and only see...
    0restes1981 0restes1981 31-35, M 1 Response Jan 9

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    I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder

    and BPD 2 years ago, I didn't start self-harming until last year. First was when I hit my wrist really hard that I broke it. and now I can't stop cutting, I have to cut everyday just to feel something, I feel empty inside.
    bipolar13 bipolar13 22-25 Mar 8

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    last night i was a bit deepressed

    and today today too.. i was going to cut myself again but then i forget that i put the razor in the bathroom and i'm just to lazy to go down to the bathroom and i was feeling sick last night and today... but then i regret it i should have cut last night because today everyone is...
    minri92 minri92 22-25, F Dec 3, 2013

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    I already stop cutting myself like two months

    ago..and I promised my self to not do it again and move on..and I feel peace.. I stop doing thing's that I used to like because it always trigger me..I don't why I feel like I have this big misunderstanding in people..and when I try to think when I'm in their place I might do...
    minri92 minri92 22-25, F Jul 17

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    "Beautifully Broken"

    "Beautifully Broken" By M.I.D They look at her and see a girl nothing more nothing less. They see her crying and screaming and they say she's just a mess They have no idea the pain she holds inside the pain that always churns the pain is so bad she wants to hide from this ever...
    UndoubtedlyBroken UndoubtedlyBroken 18-21, F 1 Response Jun 16, 2011

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    A Little Poem About Self Harm

    Run to your room Slam the door Turn up the music Fall to the floor Scream in yourself Let no-one hear Tell no secrets Show no fear Grab the knife No-one will care Pull back your sleeve Your arm in bare Lay the blade against Your Skin Pushing hard the...
    DarkenedAngel DarkenedAngel 22-25, F 6 Responses Oct 3, 2011

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    I self harm everyday.

    Sometimes I'm not even sad or feeling down when I do, but I am just so addicted to the feeling that it happens as almost an impulse, like I'm doing it without even realizing that I am. And when I do realize that I am, I don't stop, I just acknowledge it as if acknowledging...
    tthistooshallpass tthistooshallpass 18-21, F 2 Responses Feb 2

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    I Self Harm

    When I started I never thought it would get this bad. I just thought once or twice but never that I'd be addicted to watching my blood flow on my skin, slowly making the water red. I've never been so in love.
    Kmb143 Kmb143 18-21, F Nov 26, 2013

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    Scratches

    I am 15 years old. I'm a self harmer. My method is scratching. I feel alienated because I don't think I can be taken seriously by the majority of self harmers because I don't make myself bleed. It started one day when I had a doctor's appointment. I have an extreme phobia of...
    1keepingfaith 1keepingfaith 18-21, F 3 Responses Jul 17, 2013

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    It Stops The Hurting

    Writing this is both painful and, hopefully, cathartic.I'm 48, and have only really been self harming for a year or so. I wonder whether it's my equivalent of alcoholism (both my late parents were alcoholics), a self-destructive behaviour to try and blot out mental pain.It's been...
    mizzen123 mizzen123 46-50, M 3 Responses Jul 27, 2012

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    Crazy Is As Crazy Does

    I dont even know where it started. I was raised by split-up crazy parents. My dad is a borderline personality and my mom is bipolar. I never bonded or a healthy relationship with either of them. Memories of my childhood are shattered and repressed. It is really embarrassing when...
    ineffable76 ineffable76 18-21, F 3 Responses Sep 11, 2012

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    I started in 2005 when I was 21 years old.

    I have not cut/burned myself since April (this year) I think. It did not seem to work anymore. I don't see anything wrong with it. In my mind, everyone self harms in one way or another - smoking, eating, etc. Sometimes I will wear short sleeves. A lot of the time, I still...
    Sncats Sncats 26-30, F 1 Response Jun 15

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    My Addiction, My Life.

    It all stared before I was even born. My parents were junkies, abusing Methamphetamines and other hard drugs since their meeting in 1987. Lets jump foreward several years, its 1991 they marry and I was born. A rocky, drug filled relatinship ensued until 1995, when they finally...
    srv91red srv91red 18-21 1 Response Sep 30, 2010

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    The Scars Wont Fade Away

    I may have overdone it a bit this time. I was just dying inside and I was cracking down. I couldn't stop myself. The razor was so sharp and welcoming. It bled more than it has in a long long time. So deep and painful. They burn everytime my heart beats. Or every time I move I can...
    JessiZombies JessiZombies 18-21, F 2 Responses Feb 13, 2011

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    Just kind of wanted to talk about it

    and am feeling really bad. If someone replys, At what age did you start? I started when I was 11 :/. Feel free to ask anything in the comments, I will reply back. I have been fighting depression for a long while and anorexia.
    JadeSoulless JadeSoulless 22-25, F Sep 4

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    Everything. ***Triggers ***

    **Please know there are some graphic details in this story, and it may trigger or upset some.** It's so weird talking about this with people who will actually understand. I had my first experience with self inflicted pain when I was very young. Always punching things...
    MentalMemoirs MentalMemoirs 26-30, F 1 Response Jun 24, 2013

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    How To Stop?

    Will self harm ever get easier to stop? I cant seem to go one day without any more....i think it some point it stopped being about helping myself get through some things and became a necessity ..the need always seems to be stronger the more alone i am but its not like i can...
    allyrobinson allyrobinson 18-21, F 1 Response Dec 2, 2013

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    I Need Help

    heey . im a 13 yearold femal who aint really had the best of starts to like and it sounds terrible but i self harm and smoke .everyone says self harming gets better but mine only seems to be getting worse for example , bigger urges = harder to controll = bigger cuts .iv seen that...
    invisiblekid invisiblekid 13-15 3 Responses May 22, 2012

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    I need help recovering from this.

    . I guess I need some friends. This sucks really. Btw I know this short.. Didn't know what to say.
    hellhound44 hellhound44 18-21, M 1 Response Dec 10, 2013

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    Another Self Harm Poem

    i'm sitting here with nothing to do. what the hell am i going to do? i go to the bathroom and reach for the blade, put it by my wrist and there it laid, pushing it deeper until i bleed, this is exactly what i need, the pain and suffering i just felt, all begins to...
    DarkenedAngel DarkenedAngel 22-25, F 3 Responses Oct 16, 2011

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    Trigger Warning: My Self Harm Story

    Cutting was the sacrifice i made to avoide focusing on what was truly hurting me. It was the only distraction that gave me instant relief. And I needed that. I needed it more then anything. I was suicidal. It kept me from trying to kill myself. no one noticed how inside I was...
    depressedteen1 depressedteen1 18-21, M Nov 25, 2013

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    I'm so mad at myself!

    ! I want to stop this but I am so weak!!! Once I get the urge to I can't stop myself. I'm afraid this will control and dominate my life. I don't know how to deal with loneliness, depression, stress, and emptiness. I've tried so many methods of controlling my feelings and urges...
    holdontilmay holdontilmay 18-21, F 7 Responses Jan 21

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    ..why?

    some people say they don't why they do it, but i think deep down every one of us really know some reason why we do it. release anger held inside think of other pain adreneline rush attention death lonliness like pain like blood like wounds like struggles there are so...
    hayleymeike hayleymeike 18-21, F 17 Responses Apr 7, 2007

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    That One Minute....

    May Trigger: Just for them couple of minutes, everything rushes away, out of my body, I dont think about anything or anyone, all my worries dissapear, the hurt I have inside dissapears, and even though it only lasts for a couple of minutes its great to have that, its great to...
    xXsammiXx xXsammiXx 16-18, F 11 Responses May 6, 2007

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    I am 37 and just started to self harm again.

    I first started when i was in high school and was being bullied and had very few friends,I reached out to the school counselor who in turn went behind my back and told my parents. Then i went to a counselor once a week, I stopped for a while and then started having health issues...
    carrik carrik 36-40, F Feb 2

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    This Is A Poem I Wrote. It'S Called 'Scars'

    Tick-tock tick-tock That's the sound of my clock TV's on but the volume's down Wishing I wasn't here right now Pull up my sleeve, look at my wrist Should I really take the risk? Scars will fade but they leave a mark A reminder of a broken heart Scars on my feet, scars on my arms...
    AmyxLink AmyxLink 18-21, F 1 Response Apr 1, 2013

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    Hi all. Well this is my experience.

    I am a self-harmer. I struggle daily with urges, bad thoughts, guilt, darkness, etc etc. I’m trying to get better but I mess up a lot. Growing up I didn’t have the worst childhood but it was still rough. I went through sexual abuse when I was about 6, 7 as well as a lot of...
    shroudedinmist shroudedinmist 18-21, F Jan 15

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    lostgirl93 lostgirl93 18-21, F a week ago

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    My Self Harm Story

    I've self harmed for a couple of years now. It started off with rather blunt blades that didn't do an awful lot of damage unless I constantly dug them in, and then I went onto using sharper blades, and cutting deeper. I do it to help relieve the stresses in my life, I find alot...
    sezy sezy 16-17, F 4 Responses Aug 8, 2007

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    I sometimes open my eyes,

    not knowing what to do My head feel blank My heart feel cold My body feel numb I go to the mirror I see myself But it not myself I ask the mirror who are u? But the mirror won't give the answer I look at my stranger self in the mirror I pretend to laugh out laugh and it's...
    minri92 minri92 22-25, F Dec 4, 2013

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    I haven't cut myself

    since moving here. I'd been holding off on doing it. But things got worse and I said "ah fvck it all" and I went and put a razor in my skin. Nothing. Fvcking NOTHING. I thought after having gone as long as I had without doing it, it would be a wonderful relief. But it did...
    C0llin C0llin 18-21 Dec 31, 2013

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    Numb The Pain

    I hold the scissors in one hand, blood already drying on the metal razors. I feel the burning tear on my arm which in itself is a satisfaction. Blood red scratches have sunk into my skin while stinging lines begin to rise in the places I haven’t cut deep enough. The tears I had...
    imaginethis13 imaginethis13 18-21, F Apr 19, 2011

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    My 3 Year Journey

    When people see self harm scars or fresh cuts, they often turn their head. They just label that person as "emo" instead of taking the time to learn what drove them to it. This happens far too often in today's society. So, i'm putting my story up on here in hopes of having at...
    psp0815 psp0815 18-21, F 6 Responses Feb 28, 2013

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    The Warning Sings Are Obvious To Other Self Harmers

    I am a self harmer. I notice when other self harmers are doing the little things I do to hide the scars. I notice that you dont take off your jumper. I noticed the scars when your sleeve came up and how fast you pull it down. I notice when you pull alway if someone toches your...
    Butterflycutter Butterflycutter 18-21, F 2 Responses Jan 22, 2013

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    I Do It Too

    I started self harming about a month ago when I split with my boyfriend. I feel hurt, rejected and unwanted. The emotional pain became so umbearable and thats when i started. I think about self harming all the time. When I do it I have such a sense of relief afterwards...
    lucylou lucylou 21-25, F 8 Responses Jul 24, 2007

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    Up and Down and Repeat

    i self harm wen im angry or sad. i often wonder if im depressed or jst ****** up in the head. i like the marks the knife makes, thats not rite is it? i used to slice across my arm, now i sortof stab the side of my arm. my parents saw the cuts once, the asked about them and sed...
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Aug 25, 2007

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    For as long as I can remember I have had

    suicidal tendencies. Ever since little, when the smallest of upsets I caused my parents (which mind you, were AMAZING parents, and I was lucky to have them.) I felt like I was complete garbage and that I should die. I was not worth the time. Anyhow, those thoughts just lasted...
    Kruthorgaren Kruthorgaren 18-21, M 1 Response May 31

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    I started self harming aged 14 back in they

    days no one understood or spoke about it. It became my secret, id cut in places no one could see, the souls of my feet, ankles, underneath my hair line, inside my thighs, my shoulders. It wasn't the pain i cut for, id feel empty inside almost dead and if I cut and could see the...
    sirslilangel sirslilangel 41-45, F 2 Responses Feb 25

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    Sometimes when I am so angry at a person,

    instead of expressing it to them directly, I kind of self-destruct and go apeshit. Lateron, I'd notice I got bumps and bruises. I, then, will realize that I did that to me. Hurting other people is out of the question because, based from experience, whenever I directly express...
    clawrist clawrist 18-21, F 1 Response Jun 18

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    I stopping cutting myself only

    because I don't want my mom to see what I have done.. and now I started cutting again..
    minri92 minri92 22-25, F Mar 11

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    I Self Harm

    i am new in the self harm.. i do it at the noticeble place and it really weird because no one notice at all even though it has a scar over it or even i have a new a cut no one ever notice it.. i am always lonely.. the so called friend always talk about their own problem and i...
    minri92 minri92 22-25, F 1 Response Dec 1, 2013

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    Going Through The Brick Wall

    My Sophomore year of high school I finally faced what had been eating away at me since I was 6 years old. Being the type of person I am I decided instead of going around my problem, I'd go straight through it. This was the hardest decision I've ever made because I basically put...
    lawrenceharm lawrenceharm 18-21, F Nov 21, 2013

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    I use to self harm all the time

    when I would feel depressed, it not fun at all I could of lost my life a couple times. I still to this day have thoughts of self harm but I try different things to take my mind of it like slapping a rubber band against your wrist and or going on a little walk. my advise for...
    angelbunniluv angelbunniluv 18-21, F Feb 20

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    I Became Who I Promised Never To Be.

    I was always a happy kid. I was bullied when I was younger but that didn't effect me too much. My dad died from cancer when I was only 11 years old. It didn't set in until 8th grade. Everything kind of hit me then. I started writing really dark stuff in my English class. Some of...
    TheMisunderstoodMistake TheMisunderstoodMistake 13-15, F 6 Responses Apr 8, 2012

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    I don't want to stop.

    I don't do it often anymore - maybe once a month - but I don't want to stop. I don't regret cutting. I hate hiding the cuts from my family. They don't understand why I'd do this to myself. They don't understand why I wouldn't want to stop. Cutting is a comfort to me.
    elleohzed elleohzed 22-25, F 1 Response Mar 24

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    As a truck driver, nothing ****** me off more

    than other people who want to drive like tards. This crete carrier driver wanted to sit there and be an a.s.s.hole. and got my company safety dept called on me when I'm not the one in the wrong. He's the one who decided to pace me and cause the traffic back up. Up yours crete...
    Jackem82 Jackem82 31-35, M Jul 30

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