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I Self Harm

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 1,239 People

    I have self harmed since I was 6

    and I am 16 now. I always liked cutting once I started I couldn't stop. When I was 10 my best friend died of suicide I got worse when she died.
    scarsfadeaway scarsfadeaway 22-25, F 2 Responses Dec 31, 2014

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    My 3 Year Journey

    When people see self harm scars or fresh cuts, they often turn their head. They just label that person as "emo" instead of taking the time to learn what drove them to it. This happens far too often in today's society. So, i'm putting my story up on here in hopes of having at...
    psp0815 psp0815 18-21, F 5 Responses Feb 28, 2013

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    I Became Who I Promised Never To Be.

    I was always a happy kid. I was bullied when I was younger but that didn't effect me too much. My dad died from cancer when I was only 11 years old. It didn't set in until 8th grade. Everything kind of hit me then. I started writing really dark stuff in my English class. Some of...
    TheMisunderstoodMistake TheMisunderstoodMistake 13-15, F 6 Responses Apr 8, 2012

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    I started in 2005 when I was 21 years old.

    I have not cut/burned myself since April (this year) I think. It did not seem to work anymore. I don't see anything wrong with it. In my mind, everyone self harms in one way or another - smoking, eating, etc. Sometimes I will wear short sleeves. A lot of the time, I still...
    Sncats Sncats 26-30, F 1 Response Jun 15, 2014

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    No one will miss me when I'm gone The darkness

    that surrounds me, That's captured my soul, Is my only friend. Well, my only other one, Other than the voices in my head. They whisper seductively to me, persuading me to do bad things. But I fight to resist, go against my will, Because I don't want to keep bleeding. However...
    AlyShine AlyShine 18-21, F 1 Response Dec 6, 2014

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    Wanting To Forget.

    If someone took a photograph of the worst time of your life and displayed it to you every day, you would never, forget. On the one hand, you probably would never forget anyway. Afterall, it's imprinted on your brain.But on the other, why make the pain real, instead of just a...
    Dayloverr Dayloverr 16-17, F 1 Response Feb 5, 2011

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    Why

    How will you know I am hurting if you cannot see any    pain?    To wear it on my body tells what words cannot   explain   from the web im shure someone has seen it before   feb 8 2010 cut again tonight the feeling u get just before the...
    frostbittensoul frostbittensoul 41-45, M 9 Responses Jan 29, 2010

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    Sometimes when I am so angry at a person,

    instead of expressing it to them directly, I kind of self-destruct and go apeshit. Lateron, I'd notice I got bumps and bruises. I, then, will realize that I did that to me. Hurting other people is out of the question because, based from experience, whenever I directly express...
    clawrist clawrist 18-21, F 1 Response Jun 18, 2014

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    i relapsed again. i held it all together during

    the move, through finding out that one of my friends from college had died and going to her funeral that's when the feeling of being alone kicked in. i started to feel empty, like i was numb and it all got just too much, before i realised what i was doing i took a stanley knife...
    makeitsomeday makeitsomeday 18-21, F Aug 10, 2014

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    I was so happy when I found that

    after 8 years, I would finally get a therapist to see me. I went to my first appointment with him on July 29 I guess. After that, I was told to wait for the ok of my insurance. So I did wait as I was told. On August 15 or so, he told me that he couldn't see me because he had...
    BloodRedRiver BloodRedRiver 22-25, F 1 Response Sep 29, 2014

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    the one thing i don't think i can do without is

    self harm. i'm done it for so long and it's always been there for me, even when i couldn't tell people.... sone day i won't do it any more and that scares me
    makeitsomeday makeitsomeday 18-21, F 2 Responses Sep 12, 2014

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    I stopping cutting myself only

    because I don't want my mom to see what I have done.. and now I started cutting again..
    minri92 minri92 22-25, F Mar 11, 2014

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    ... and I Enjoy It.

    I hurt myself, and I have no intention of stopping either. I used to wish I could stop - but that's when I thought I had a problem. What I do is no worse than smoking or drinking. SI won't give me cancer, it won't rot my liver, it won't paralyze me or give me a horrible STD. As...
    slowrewind slowrewind 18-21, F 10 Responses May 6, 2007

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    I self harm everyday.

    Sometimes I'm not even sad or feeling down when I do, but I am just so addicted to the feeling that it happens as almost an impulse, like I'm doing it without even realizing that I am. And when I do realize that I am, I don't stop, I just acknowledge it as if acknowledging...
    tthistooshallpass tthistooshallpass 18-21, F 2 Responses Feb 2, 2014

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    Up and Down and Repeat

    i self harm wen im angry or sad. i often wonder if im depressed or jst ****** up in the head. i like the marks the knife makes, thats not rite is it? i used to slice across my arm, now i sortof stab the side of my arm. my parents saw the cuts once, the asked about them and sed...
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Aug 25, 2007

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    This Is A Poem I Wrote. It'S Called 'Scars'

    Tick-tock tick-tock That's the sound of my clock TV's on but the volume's down Wishing I wasn't here right now Pull up my sleeve, look at my wrist Should I really take the risk? Scars will fade but they leave a mark A reminder of a broken heart Scars on my feet, scars on my arms...
    AmyxLink AmyxLink 18-21, F 1 Response Apr 1, 2013

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    I started self harming aged 14 back in they

    days no one understood or spoke about it. It became my secret, id cut in places no one could see, the souls of my feet, ankles, underneath my hair line, inside my thighs, my shoulders. It wasn't the pain i cut for, id feel empty inside almost dead and if I cut and could see the...
    sirslilangel sirslilangel 41-45, F 2 Responses Feb 25, 2014

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    Stupid Kourtny...

    I abuse myself because its my way of putting myself in place. I simply pinch my skin until i bruise, or burn it. It takes alot for me to try and stop, but i just feel like im always doing something wrong or stupid, so to punish myself for my stupidity, thats what i do. ive gotten...
    kotonilove kotonilove 18-21, F 2 Responses Feb 16, 2012

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    I relapsed Sunday night

    after being almost 4 months clean. I told my boyfriend and myself that i wouldn't do it again but I failed. I'm afraid that if I tell him or he sees the cuts on my arms he'll be disappointed and he won't think I'm as strong as he thought I was. But I'm just so overwhelmed with...
    HelloLovelyPerson HelloLovelyPerson 18-21, F 3 Responses Nov 4, 2014

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    I have a type of skin disease

    that brought me nothing but misery in the second and third grade when i just moved to the town I had to ride the bus and from me riding I met the people who made fun of me that called it sage disease and like the cheese touch they called it sage touch they would make me leave...
    natsufairy12 natsufairy12 13-15, M 2 Responses Nov 27, 2014

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    Hi guys, I m not sure

    if i fit in this category, but i d love to hear your opinions. I did cut maybe 4-5 times in past few years. As you can see i do cut very rarely. Mostly it s a rash decision while I m depressed. However i do cut only slightly to feel the calming pain and see just a very little...
    ladymerylin ladymerylin 18-21, F 2 Responses Dec 29, 2014

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    Just kind of wanted to talk about it

    and am feeling really bad. If someone replys, At what age did you start? I started when I was 11 :/. Feel free to ask anything in the comments, I will reply back. I have been fighting depression for a long while and anorexia.
    JadeSoulless JadeSoulless 22-25, F 1 Response Sep 4, 2014

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    ..why?

    some people say they don't why they do it, but i think deep down every one of us really know some reason why we do it. release anger held inside think of other pain adreneline rush attention death lonliness like pain like blood like wounds like struggles there are so...
    hayleymeike hayleymeike 18-21, F 17 Responses Apr 7, 2007

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    The Warning Sings Are Obvious To Other Self Harmers

    I am a self harmer. I notice when other self harmers are doing the little things I do to hide the scars. I notice that you dont take off your jumper. I noticed the scars when your sleeve came up and how fast you pull it down. I notice when you pull alway if someone toches your...
    Butterflycutter Butterflycutter 18-21, F 2 Responses Jan 22, 2013

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    Keep Counting

    One, two, skip a few...sixteen. Sixteen cuts, red and glaring, running up and down my thigh. I stare at them, mesmerized. The guilt has not yet set in. Right now, all I feel is relief. Relief and euphoria. Relief because, despite the pain, it replaces every other pain. The sting...
    deleted deleted 26-30 6 Responses Jul 9, 2012

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    I've been going through some really bad stuff

    recently and like recently I've just decided that I really like the feeling of burning on my skin. I've started to do things like putting cigarettes out on my hand or my arm.
    CasualSphinx CasualSphinx 18-21, M 1 Response Feb 21

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    Because I'm not yet at the point

    where I can put the words "used to" in between. It started well over a year ago (getting closer to two) and was pretty bad at one point. But I don't want to talk about the past, because even though I've learned from it, there's nothing more to gain by dwelling on it. I want to...
    julie024 julie024 18-21, F 1 Response Jan 24, 2014

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    I cant do this anymore.

    I lock myself in my room and loose more of my sanity with each passing moment. Hes at it again. I know he is. He got a phone call today...i was sitting next to him. He looked at the number on his caller ID and just let it ring. No message left. He didnt call it back, at least...
    xxMsLedxx xxMsLedxx 41-45, F Dec 13, 2013

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    Numb The Pain

    I hold the scissors in one hand, blood already drying on the metal razors. I feel the burning tear on my arm which in itself is a satisfaction. Blood red scratches have sunk into my skin while stinging lines begin to rise in the places I haven’t cut deep enough. The tears I had...
    imaginethis13 imaginethis13 18-21, F Apr 19, 2011

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    I Do It Too

    I started self harming about a month ago when I split with my boyfriend. I feel hurt, rejected and unwanted. The emotional pain became so umbearable and thats when i started. I think about self harming all the time. When I do it I have such a sense of relief afterwards...
    lucylou lucylou 18-21, F 8 Responses Jul 24, 2007

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    I don't want to stop.

    I don't do it often anymore - maybe once a month - but I don't want to stop. I don't regret cutting. I hate hiding the cuts from my family. They don't understand why I'd do this to myself. They don't understand why I wouldn't want to stop. Cutting is a comfort to me.
    elleohzed elleohzed 22-25, F 1 Response Mar 24, 2014

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    I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder

    and BPD 2 years ago, I didn't start self-harming until last year. First was when I hit my wrist really hard that I broke it. and now I can't stop cutting, I have to cut everyday just to feel something, I feel empty inside.
    bipolar13 bipolar13 22-25 Mar 8, 2014

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    It Stops The Hurting

    Writing this is both painful and, hopefully, cathartic.I'm 48, and have only really been self harming for a year or so. I wonder whether it's my equivalent of alcoholism (both my late parents were alcoholics), a self-destructive behaviour to try and blot out mental pain.It's been...
    mizzen123 mizzen123 46-50, M 3 Responses Jul 27, 2012

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    I am 37 and just started to self harm again.

    I first started when i was in high school and was being bullied and had very few friends,I reached out to the school counselor who in turn went behind my back and told my parents. Then i went to a counselor once a week, I stopped for a while and then started having health issues...
    carrik carrik 36-40, F Feb 2, 2014

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    My Addiction, My Life.

    It all stared before I was even born. My parents were junkies, abusing Methamphetamines and other hard drugs since their meeting in 1987. Lets jump foreward several years, its 1991 they marry and I was born. A rocky, drug filled relatinship ensued until 1995, when they finally...
    srv91red srv91red 18-21 1 Response Sep 30, 2010

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    WorkInProgress2012 WorkInProgress2012 26-30, F 1 Response Dec 8, 2014

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    "Beautifully Broken"

    "Beautifully Broken" By M.I.D They look at her and see a girl nothing more nothing less. They see her crying and screaming and they say she's just a mess They have no idea the pain she holds inside the pain that always churns the pain is so bad she wants to hide from this ever...
    UndoubtedlyBroken UndoubtedlyBroken 18-21, F 1 Response Jun 16, 2011

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    Scratches

    I am 15 years old. I'm a self harmer. My method is scratching. I feel alienated because I don't think I can be taken seriously by the majority of self harmers because I don't make myself bleed. It started one day when I had a doctor's appointment. I have an extreme phobia of...
    1keepingfaith 1keepingfaith 18-21, F 3 Responses Jul 17, 2013

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    I haven't cut myself

    since moving here. I'd been holding off on doing it. But things got worse and I said "ah fvck it all" and I went and put a razor in my skin. Nothing. Fvcking NOTHING. I thought after having gone as long as I had without doing it, it would be a wonderful relief. But it did...
    C0llin C0llin 18-21 Dec 31, 2013

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    The Scars Wont Fade Away

    I may have overdone it a bit this time. I was just dying inside and I was cracking down. I couldn't stop myself. The razor was so sharp and welcoming. It bled more than it has in a long long time. So deep and painful. They burn everytime my heart beats. Or every time I move I can...
    JessiZombies JessiZombies 18-21, F 2 Responses Feb 13, 2011

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    Choice

    I don't want to. I sit here with a blade on my arm and fight to pull it away. I hate to. But somehow, I don't know why, I cry every night. Feel the tears welling nearly all the time. I stopped once. But now... the blade is back in my hand. I don't want to.
    CleoShilu CleoShilu 18-21, F 8 Responses Mar 13, 2008

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    I already stop cutting myself like two months

    ago..and I promised my self to not do it again and move on..and I feel peace.. I stop doing thing's that I used to like because it always trigger me..I don't why I feel like I have this big misunderstanding in people..and when I try to think when I'm in their place I might do...
    minri92 minri92 22-25, F Jul 17, 2014

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    lovelyy25 lovelyy25 18-21, F 2 Responses Mar 5

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    I recently began slicing my arm

    and tried overdose.. I drank 6 bottles of cider 1 after the other popping 40 paracetamol pills. Don't know what has come over me recently I'm never usually like this
    Mustangkid2020 Mustangkid2020 26-30, M 1 Response Dec 15, 2014

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    I'm so mad at myself!

    ! I want to stop this but I am so weak!!! Once I get the urge to I can't stop myself. I'm afraid this will control and dominate my life. I don't know how to deal with loneliness, depression, stress, and emptiness. I've tried so many methods of controlling my feelings and urges...
    holdontilmay holdontilmay 18-21, F 7 Responses Jan 21, 2014

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    That One Minute....

    May Trigger: Just for them couple of minutes, everything rushes away, out of my body, I dont think about anything or anyone, all my worries dissapear, the hurt I have inside dissapears, and even though it only lasts for a couple of minutes its great to have that, its great to...
    xXsammiXx xXsammiXx 16-17, F 11 Responses May 6, 2007

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    A Little Poem About Self Harm

    Run to your room Slam the door Turn up the music Fall to the floor Scream in yourself Let no-one hear Tell no secrets Show no fear Grab the knife No-one will care Pull back your sleeve Your arm in bare Lay the blade against Your Skin Pushing hard the...
    DarkenedAngel DarkenedAngel 22-25, F 6 Responses