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I Self-harm

For those who self-harm and want to share their stories. 2,708 People

    I Always Promise Myself It'll Be The Last Time.

    Hi, my name is Elan. And this isn't your typical self harm story, I never really had severe depression, I have always been so happy, so chatty, so giggly. But then, one day, in 2010 I think it was, something in me just snapped. It was my little brother's birthday and I realised...
    ellsbells99 ellsbells99 13-15, F 4 Responses Jul 19, 2013

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    One cut Two cuts Three cuts Four.

    .. The voice in my head whispers "Do one more." One turns to two and two becomes five Soon I've done so many I'm risking my life It's okay though Who would care if I'm gone Sure some would cry, but, they'd move on I slice a bit deeper feeling the pain My head swimming It's a...
    Trish12321 Trish12321 13-15, F 3 Responses Jan 6

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    People that don't understand the feeling of

    self harm think it's 'disgusting' but they don't know how you really feel. Wanna know what it feels like? It's relief, relief from how you feel, takes your mind off things, it makes me feel human again. It's so wrong but it feels so right. It's a mental addiction. If anyone...
    cam2476 cam2476 16-17, F 4 Responses Dec 23, 2013

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    I think ppl should know

    that the words they say hurts the are as sharp as any blade :(
    rawan99 rawan99 13-15, F 3 Responses Apr 10

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    Self harm isn't just a blade that's silver.

    Is silver tounge and cheek( of mice an men) it's the thoughts we let ruin us. It's what we forget. I think everyone self harms in some way. But ha I should keep in mind this feeling of happiness is just living it out! Live out every minute f happiness people live it !!
    SelfBattle SelfBattle 13-15, F 4 days ago

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    depressedgirl96 depressedgirl96 18-21, F 3 Responses a week ago

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    A Poem.

    An empty room, an empty girl Sitting silently on the floor Her sleeve rolled up, exposing skin She drags the blade and presses in The pain it brings cannot compare To the joy she knows will soon be there It's worth the scars that never heal For just a moment, not to feel
    deleted deleted 26-30 5 Responses Dec 10, 2012

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    I cut your name in my leg

    so I won't forget what you said to me, what we used to be.
    BlueRosesFadingBlack BlueRosesFadingBlack 18-21, F 1 Response Jul 9

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    Trigger warning!!! I did words today

    for the first time. I wasn't really thinking while I did it. It just kind of happened. They hurt like hell but atleast now I'm marked by how I am.
    Imjustdone Imjustdone 16-17, M 1 Response 6 days ago

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    Relapse

    I was a week clean but I relapsed. I noticed with school and all, cutting my wrist will draw attention so I messed up my thighs. I feel like this is the only escape.
    alondraa alondraa 16-17, F 3 Responses Nov 25, 2013

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    I don't know how to tell my therapist I still

    self harm,I did mention it on my first session but said it was in the past and she hasn't really bought it up again and it has been about 9 months or something. I really want to tell her and I've been trying to for ages but it's so hard how do I tell her?
    xedsheerann xedsheerann 13-15, F 3 Responses Jul 10

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    Tonight marks five weeks

    since my last relapse! I realized telling someone helps a lot! It gave me someone to talk to that I knew in person!(I appreciated everyone here on ep, don't take me wrong) telling someone made me know that if I can gain the strength to tell someone my biggest secret, I can fight...
    sm1ttay sm1ttay 13-15, M 1 Response 6 days ago

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    Today, I am 1 week clean,

    hopefully I can keep it up!
    sm1ttay sm1ttay 13-15, M 3 Responses Apr 29

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    I Am Sad.

    I'm listening to slow, beautiful instrumental music in a darkly-lit room. I slowly roll back my sleeve, exposing my pale forearm. With one hand I hold my sharpest pair of scissors, and with the other I gently finger the blades, then open them wide. Bringing the fine point of the...
    noonewouldriotforless noonewouldriotforless 18-21, F 2 Responses Sep 8, 2012

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    "If you're strong enough to draw

    that blade across your skin, if you're strong enough to take those pills when you think you're alone, if you're strong enough to tie that rope and hang it from the ceiling fan, if you're strong enough to jump off that bridge, my friend, you are strong enough, to live."
    indecisivebye indecisivebye 13-15, F 6 Responses Jun 18

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    A new burn on my shin,

    cuts on my shoulder and my wrist, and reopened a few older ones. Felt nice. Afraid for tomorrow night, when I probably won't get a chance for anything and also coincidentally when I'll need it so bad. I can't understand why people online always say 'don't hurt yourself you're...
    ALittleLess15 ALittleLess15 16-17, F 3 Responses 6 days ago

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    Tonight I hit a breaking point.

    I hadn't touched the box with those two blades in it since march. My mom saying all these things to me along with some others took me over the edge. As I dug through the box, I cut my finger on one of those blades. I had to go get a band aid for it from the kitchen and when I...
    blondechick0130 blondechick0130 18-21, F 1 Response Jul 9

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    I can't stop doing it,

    I no I need help but nobody seems to listen anymore. I've lost all my friends because they found out i cut and now they don't want anything to do with me so now I'm taking it out on myself even more. The voices won't leave me alone and the cuts are getting deeper, I don't no...
    brokenwarriorr brokenwarriorr 16-17, F 1 Response a week ago

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    sm1ttay sm1ttay 13-15, M 3 Responses Jul 8

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    I suffer from anxiety

    and depression and I get these mood swings that make me depressed and they get worse and worse everytime I have one. Today they got so bad I self harmed for the first time.. It hurt like hell but it made me forget about the depression so I kept cutting.. I didn't cut too deep...
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response 3 days ago

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    Hushabye Baby

    Close your eyes and go to sleep And dream of all the things that made you weep You just want all the pain to end All your life you've had to pretend Beautiful blade shines so bright Looking at all the blood and loving the sight Hushabye baby, Your almost there You dont...
    ProudByChoice ProudByChoice 13-15, F 2 Responses Dec 30, 2012

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    Started In Grade 6, Now I'M A Sophomore In High School

    I started self harming in 6th grade - my first year of middle school. I count myself lucky because I've never really been bullied... My self harm stemmed from self-hate, anxiety, depression, parental issues etc. It started with harsh snaps on my wrist and thighs with thick hair...
    TheCrookedYoung TheCrookedYoung 16-17, F 9 Responses Nov 25, 2013

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    My Self Harm Story

    First of all, I am a 34 year old Male and I Self Harm. I don't really know what led to this, but I have many factors. I have had Bipolar since I was young, and also had to deal with a lot, so any of those things could have been a factor I guess. My mother got severe brain...
    ManiacalTom ManiacalTom 31-35, M 4 Responses Sep 5, 2012

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    I'm 14 years old and I've been cutting

    since I was younger & I want to stop but it's really addicting I go through so much & every day I break down & cut and sometimes it sucks because I sometimes just want to kill myself and eventually I am . I hate life tbh.
    Eeriin7 Eeriin7 13-15, F 3 Responses 4 days ago

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    I'm losing myself deeper

    and deeper to it. I feel so numb and depressed but at the same time I look happy and normal on the outside. But really all I want to do is to be at home in my room with my blade and just cut until I can finally feel something, even though the something is pain. It's better then...
    yourscarsarebeautiful yourscarsarebeautiful 16-17, F 5 Responses 6 days ago

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    I do self harm. And I can't stop.

    I burn myself with cigarettes and other stuff and cut myself with sharp objects. I'm addicted. It sucks.
    paradiseisbroken paradiseisbroken 13-15, F 1 Response Jul 10

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    I've been clean for a month now,

    pleased. Let's keep this going.
    worshipsleep worshipsleep 16-17, F 2 Responses Mar 20

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    What are the best types of blades to use

    for cutting? I use razor blades right now, but they get infected and go deep. So, do y'all know of any other blades?
    xXxJustSomeGirlxXx xXxJustSomeGirlxXx 13-15, F 3 Responses Jul 16

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    Yeah. Who would? Looks a bit gay no?

    Well guess what, he cuts himself because you people make him do it. He cuts himself because of your atrocities and bullying. Because of your ignorance and hate. You made him hate himself and now he finds the solution in the blood and in the scars he have. You, society, are the...
    scarredbutrelentless scarredbutrelentless 18-21, M 5 Responses Jun 7

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    I need to so badly but I don't want too,

    I've had enough of doing this to myself. Can someone please message me to keep my mind of doing it? :'(
    brokenwarriorr brokenwarriorr 16-17, F 1 Response Jul 16

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    And, after 7 years of self-harm,

    I came to the conclusion, I had to be a masochist. Every step I took from then on, confirmed that conclusion. I felt like I finally understood this part of me. It was allways confusion before that. Questions. Why? Why are you doing that? You shouldn't do it. But since that day...
    kami2 kami2 22-25, F 5 Responses Feb 16

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    I Have My Reasons

    Life is never easy, death is even harder. Through all my time I have only knowing pain. People always go on about how hard their life is. Many go on about how they would cut themselves if they lost their boy friend or girl friend. More say that those that self harm are attention...
    CrimsonSnow CrimsonSnow 16-17, F 5 Responses Apr 11, 2013

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    I probably shouldn't be cutting in the living

    room, where my dad could wake up and walk in on me at any moment but I'm past the point of really caring. I know he won't wake up. I know I can hide them. Blood doesn't exactly show up well on a black shirt. I'm sitting here. And so that's where I am. Getting risky. Used...
    BlueRosesFadingBlack BlueRosesFadingBlack 18-21, F 2 Responses 6 days ago

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    So I've now got 'ugly'

    and four cuts on my hip, wanna do more but I don't have very long, so it'll have to do for now, but I can feel the urge to burn coming so before I can sleep I'll have to do something
    ALittleLess15 ALittleLess15 16-17, F 4 Responses Jul 15

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    Last year, my addiction to cutting myself had

    begun. I would cut myself in the shower, locked in a bathroom at school or at home, and anytime I felt that I was losing grip. I doubt it would have really mattered where I was. At that time, I had lost an incredibly important person in my life. I was a senior at one of the most...
    nhammoud nhammoud 18-21, F 17 Responses Jan 23

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    sm1ttay sm1ttay 13-15, M 5 Responses Jun 3

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    I finally told someone about my depression,

    anxiety and suicidal thoughts but I still can't get enough nerve to tell them I cut but I feel so much better to tell someone I know all of this!
    sm1ttay sm1ttay 13-15, M 3 Responses Jun 18

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    Butterfies

    I'm 16 years old and i started cutting myself at the top of my right thigh in the summer holidays of 2012, so not that long ago, 3 and a half months? god it feels like longer...i had been down for a while about many things in my life and had honestly thought about cutting myself...
    butterflies123 butterflies123 16-17 3 Responses Nov 19, 2012

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    I'm going to talk about something

    which is really important to me. I'm going to talk about self harm. This is serious. Self harm isn't a game. People like me don't do this for attention or something like that, no... We're just in pain. And we just need some help. We just want to live again. So please, If u know...
    sempiternalHell sempiternalHell 13-15, F 1 Response Mar 1

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    I never thought it would come to this,

    but the other day I broke down so bad. I feel like a screw up, I feel like I'm a disgrace to my family. A while back when I was beginning to date this guy my dad quote on quote said "don't come crying to me when he breaks your heart" so I never went crying to him, instead I...
    kelsey9317 kelsey9317 16-17, F 3 Responses Jul 16

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    Telling someone who self-harms to "just stop

    doing it" is like telling a drug addict to sit in a room full of drugs and touch nothing
    blondechick0130 blondechick0130 18-21, F 3 Responses Feb 11

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    Tonight is just one of those nights

    where you feel depressed and lonely for no reason. Feeling like no one cares about you. Feeling like you're the other one in this world. I want to cry but the tears just don't come. I want a hug but no one is around. I need someone. I need something... and but I don't know what...
    aloneinsidehappyoutside aloneinsidehappyoutside 18-21, F 1 Response 4 days ago

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    I just burned myself again with cigarettes.

    It felt so good. I plan on doing again after this post.
    exhibiter1000 exhibiter1000 51-55, M 1 Response Jul 11

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    So I've been starving myself

    and only eating one or two meals towards the end of the day I wake up quite early so I go 6-12 hrs with no food to just feel the pain of hunger. But I'm losing my energy and feel like ****. I really want to cut so bad! But I'm 2 years clean from cutting and I'm trying to stay...
    wheelsxoxo wheelsxoxo 22-25, F 3 Responses Jul 15

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    Well, it's been about 2 weeks sense the last

    time I cut.Some would say self-harm is an addiction, and some would say it is a habbit. Either way, both are hard to break. But, they are very posible to end.Self-harm is a form of coping, but not a good one. It gives us a way to forget about our troubles and everything that is...
    screaminginshadows screaminginshadows 13-15, F 6 Responses Dec 25, 2013

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    I've been self harming

    for 3 years.. It started out 11 year old me just trying to cope, and with little scratches... After a few months I had scars and I started using it as a form of self punishment.. I've been to the hospital for it, my legs are the worse. I used to love swimming but I haven't swan...
    BulletForMyBlackVeil BulletForMyBlackVeil 13-15, F Jul 10

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    EllieBlythe EllieBlythe 13-15, F 3 Responses Jul 15

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    I'm so close to doing tbis.

    . So tired of the pain can't take it
    SportsGraphCollector SportsGraphCollector 22-25, M 2 Responses a week ago

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    I don't know how to tell my therapist I still

    self harm, I did mention it a while ago but I said it was in the past even though it wasn't and I didn't go into any detail. My mum does know that I used to but doesn't know that I still do now. I don't know how to tell therapist without her telling my mum or anyone else,I've...
    xedsheerann xedsheerann 13-15, F 1 Response Jul 10

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    If you don't understand my silence You will

    never understand my words.
    kikisalamo22 kikisalamo22 13-15, F Dec 11, 2013

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    I'm trying the Butterfly Project.

    For any of you who don't know what it is: Its when you draw a butterfly on wherever you self harm, and you write a name of anyone who wants you to stop. You can't wash these butterflies off. If you cut while the butterfly is on your arm, it dies. If you don't, it lives.
    zbubbly603 zbubbly603 16-17, F 4 Responses Mar 30

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    People don't understand I don't do it to kill

    myself I do it to save myself
    sg123457 sg123457 16-17, F 3 Responses Jul 6

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    I gave myself a day and a half.

    A break from the physical pain. But tonight I needed it. Soooo now one one side there is a patch of cuts, none too deep, but enough to make it look like one big scrape. On the other side, there's a single cut, long and deep. For a minute or two, I didn't think I'd be able to...
    ALittleLess15 ALittleLess15 16-17, F 4 days ago

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