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I Shut People Out When They Hurt Me

When people hurt me, I want to close the door, deadbolt it, lock it, and hide away. They can't see, feel, touch or hurt me anymore. The feeling is so intense. It's a way of protection and survival. 8,987 People

    Fight, Flight, Fake, Or Fold?

    I know that shutting people out after they've hurt me isn't very helpful, and you could argue that it's even somewhat hurtful to other people as well as to myself (I acknowledge that it isn't very forgiving) -- but in all honesty, it's the only way I know how to handle the pain...
    GigiNYC GigiNYC 41-45, F 6 Responses Aug 21, 2008

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    I'm always preparing myself

    for the hurt that's bound to come sooner or later. When someone hurts me, intentionally or not, I tend to be very quiet and withdrawn. I need to be left alone for a while. I need time to work it out in my own head before I can deal with that individual. This may not be the best...
    smhinterrupted smhinterrupted 36-40, F 4 Responses Jan 5

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    I seem to do this unconsciously,

    or maybe I'm just in denial. It's more of the latter I think. I've always thought that forgiving those who caused me grievances would undoubtedly set me free, It's a mantra I've had spiraling through my mind every time a person do me distress. I thought it would be as simple as...
    SinisterSmile SinisterSmile 22-25 4 Responses Feb 9

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    I do this all the time.

    I know it's not good but I do it to save myself from being hurt again.
    LyricalLifee LyricalLifee 16-17, F 1 Response Jan 7

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    I must shut you out if you hurt me!

    I care to much for myself not too. If I allow you then you will continue to hurt me and then I will have to continue to heal the wounds that you inflict. If I am continually healing the wounds that you inflict then it does not leave any room for me to fulfill the purpose in...
    venusdi venusdi 70+, F 3 Responses Jan 31

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    My Ex Gf Cheated On Me And F Other Guy On the

    Same Day... And Then Told Me like she Was Proud Of Doing It... Well News For You i Am Proud i Shut You Out Of My Life.... Now i can Find Someone Who Won't Do That...
    RyanxXx90 RyanxXx90 18-21, M 1 Response Dec 1, 2013

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    No Other Choice

    I have no other choice but to shut people out when they hurt me. I am always cautious not to hurt another persons feelings so i expect the same in return. Sure there are times we step on someones toes without knowing.... but that's small stuff. But when you care for someone...
    MorningBreeze MorningBreeze 56-60, F 3 Responses Jun 21, 2011

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    Just like that. No warning,

    no explanation, no nothing. BYE. *rolls eyes* (is this wrong??)
    DreamerByNature DreamerByNature 26-30, F 1 Response Feb 6

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    I Shut People Out.

    I always shut people out when they hurt me. It's easier because I've always been too shy to tell people straight out that they have hurt me so instead I will just be very short spoken with them or completely ignore them until I have forgiven them - If I ever do forgive them...
    KawaiiDoll KawaiiDoll 18-21, F Aug 18, 2011

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    **** people, get a dog,

    they won't hurt you.
    nottobevelealed nottobevelealed 16-17, F 2 Responses Mar 23

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    It's become so easy to disappear

    and stop answering the phone.
    TheBadgeringWitness TheBadgeringWitness 70+ 6 days ago

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    I can't help it...but

    whenever someone hurts me I don't have a choice but to tune them out and lose trust for them. It doesn't really matter who you are, if you were to hurt me bad enough I'd just fall apart and barely talk to you. I got into a fight with my ex-girlfriend and she wouldn't leave me...
    cynicalsmile cynicalsmile 18-21, F 2 Responses Jan 21

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    If You Hurt Me It's Over Between Us I'm Sorry

    You Are Going To Be Out Of The PicTure....😖😖
    dashawn2211 dashawn2211 13-15, M Feb 1

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    I do this quite often.

    I don't do second chances. If a 'friend' hurts me intentionally, i will get rid of them instantly. I want to surround myself around good people who make me a better person, not people who go out of their way to make myself feel bad.
    Ryanholmes20375 Ryanholmes20375 18-21, M 3 Responses Feb 13

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    I feel happy. For the first time in my life.

    But now there is a challenge. I can't believe anyone one when they say they love me. I don't know if this is right or not. Are they suppose to act this way. It this what it is like? I have never been loved how do I accept or learn what it is now?
    CatEm CatEm 13-15, F 1 Response Feb 2

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    Silence Hurts Just As Bad

    I'm not the best when it comes to being upset and dealing with my emotions. I would rather be angry; it's something I can deal with, but being upset and hurt....I can't. So when i'm hurt I shut them out because sometimes silence can hurt just as bad as words. In my experience...
    MissJazz MissJazz 18-21, F 5 Responses Mar 14, 2012

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    Ok so, it all started yesterday.

    We had to email back and forth regarding work issues. But really, it began before that, because I was hurt that he did not call me to talk before work started, like he usually does. So back to the emails...I just felt like his responses were rude and not helpful. So finally I...
    goodnightangel goodnightangel 36-40, F 2 Responses Jan 7

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    And it hurts like hell.

    But they have to learn that I don't takemotional risks to have my heart stepped on, shatteteredd and squished.
    querer22 querer22 16-17 1 Response Jan 11

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    I met this guy on ep

    and I thaught that he actually liked me then he's all like I have a gf
    unicorns3102 unicorns3102 13-15, F 1 Response Jan 30

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    I had some cool friends in hs

    and I guess they did things, I guess unintentionally that I took personally. I pushed them away. I see their group pictures on fb and it makes me sad, but I guess I gotta act like the bigger better person and like the pictures because essentially, I'm the one who pushed then...
    truthbetold22 truthbetold22 22-25, F Jan 10

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    Pinkdreamsw8 Pinkdreamsw8 36-40, F Feb 5

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    For Just A Bit

    I do shut people out when they hurt me. I think its natural to need to close off from that. But I also notice I soon forget that need to shut people out and I open up maybe more afterwards. I don't let pain from someones actions take me away from what I know is for me. I need a...
    soulrunher soulrunher 41-45, F 6 Responses Mar 23, 2013

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    Can I Just Heal Myself...Alone?

    I'm starting to get into this habit where I can depressed for whatever reason and just ignore everyone. I'm hurting and unhappy. I've let people taunt me, heckle me and use me as a punchbag. I'm tired and emotionally exhausted. I just want people to leave me alone so that I can...
    introvertgirl2013 introvertgirl2013 22-25, F 3 Responses Sep 8, 2013

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    Not so much when someone "hurts" me,

    just in general. I think it's more of a defense mechanism for not letting someone close enough to hurt me, having realized that, I don't really see why therapists consider this such a problem, most people are scum and don't deserve the scraps of freedom we're given. I don't...
    OneSizeFitzpatrick OneSizeFitzpatrick 18-21, M 1 Response Apr 3

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    My Sensor

    I have developed my own sensor to situations or people that can hurt me. It has just developed from being constantly hurt and disappointed by my husband.So now, if I sense something painful is coming I automatically put up protectors and back away. It's a natural reaction now and...
    soulrunher soulrunher 41-45, F 2 Responses Feb 7, 2013

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    With out any explanation,

    they should already know why
    shimmersandsparkles shimmersandsparkles 26-30, F 4 Responses Jan 23

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    When people wrong or hurt me........

    I tend to just stop talking to them and shut them out completely. Sometimes it's a gradual process: I'll continue to talk and be civil with them for a while before I officially break things off between us with certain behaviors and/or words. Other times I just abruptly cut them...
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Aug 16, 2013

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    Yes I do. If somebody hurts my feelings by

    something they said or did I retreat into myself away from them. Also if somebody I care about ignores me then I draw away from them. It's my way of protecting myself and also then I don't say hurtful things in haste. I am sensitive at times and am aware of that. So I don't...
    1SweetL 1SweetL 36-40, F 4 Responses 6 days ago

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    I Give Everybody A Chance ...

    But life is short and there a **** loads more people to replace you if you want to be a **** ... I think I am loving and fair , but you hurt me , I most likely won't fight you , more like you'll be trying to figure out where the hell I went as you stand there talking to yourself...
    Suzi504 Suzi504 31-35, F Nov 23, 2013

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    Burned...

    The moment someone starts to hurt me or hurts me really bad I start to push them away. I can’t help it,when someone I care about hurts me, I shut down, close up and when needed do not talk to the person (s) until I am ready too. In many ways this allows me the opportunity...
    snowbunny1002 snowbunny1002 46-50, F 22 Responses Aug 3, 2010

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    Must I start keeping my past a secret too?

    Another taboo? To keep myself from being abused or mistreated by someone? Someone hurt me not too long ago, and I hide in my apartment and not want to be around people. I wanted little contact with the world right now. To be alone. Noah
    noaht43 noaht43 41-45, T 4 Responses Jan 5

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    more like i shut everyone out

    so they can't hurt me.
    kr1sten kr1sten 18-21, F 3 Responses Dec 27, 2013

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    But I never ever forget how they've hurt me.

    I save it for later like collecting the abuse they've done to me. I don't bring these issues up when that person and I fight or argue. I just kind of like it fester. I'm so distrustful of people that I have a killswitch for every relationship in my life. I know this isn't...
    madamepompouri madamepompouri 22-25, F Feb 6

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    Easy Come, Easy Go

    Sometimes it amazes me how easily I can do this, how easy I can shut someone out and move on. I have done it several times. It is probably a survival strategy that I acquired still as a child. It might be an immature reaction, but, on the other hand, I don't dwell on losses or...
    thinkandfeel thinkandfeel 36-40, F 6 Responses Aug 2, 2010

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    I know it's horrible

    but I pretend they just dropped of the face of the earth
    Briinx Briinx 31-35, F 1 Response Jan 3

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    The guy that I like at work at shutting me out.

    I'm currently married with a daughter. I've been IM'ing my coworker and texting since July. Then I told him I'm getting a divorce in November. He said he felt sorry for me told me to let him know if I need anything. But he never asks about my marital status, never follows up...
    AW128 AW128 31-35, F 1 Response Feb 27

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    I'm not perfect what

    so ever but you never had to hurt me like that, I did nothing to you I did mess up but I'm sorry because I know I can't even begin to fix any of this but you hurt me so much that just don't know anymore.
    Bryonna123 Bryonna123 16-17, F 2 Responses Dec 7, 2013

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    I Do Tend to Shut People Out Now and Then

    But hurting me isn't easy as all that. If you have my trust and you lie to me you hurt me. If you betray my trust you hurt me. Other than that I can think of a way you can really hurt me. : )
    BlueGeorgia BlueGeorgia 41-45, M 13 Responses Feb 1, 2008

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    "Sometimes It's Better To Push Someone Away,

    Not Because You Stopped Loving That Someone But Because You Have To Shield You're Self From Pain"
    SelenaMoon SelenaMoon 16-17, F Jan 31

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    Unless it's someone I really have to deal with

    on a regular basis, I'm not going to force myself to get along with anyone. You only have to hurt me once on purpose, then I'm pretty much done with you.
    Blue1513 Blue1513 31-35, F 4 Responses Jan 17

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    Closing Doors...

    Things happen for a reason right? Actions have consequences, words can hurt, things go on in life that really shouldn't have to happen. I like to believe that people are inherently good, and they don't intentionally hurt people. However, the world doesn't seem to work that way...
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Dec 2, 2012

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    I hate him so much...

    .I hate my old daddy
    crazyheartedfool crazyheartedfool 18-21, F 3 Responses Jan 6

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    Once someone has betrayed my trust I don't want

    to fix things I just want them out of my life ... They're dead to me ...
    fozza fozza 22-25, F Jan 17

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    yep I just cant be around them of a while.

    when I feel hurt. there are some that have been shut out forever and other that when they want to know how to get back in .
    chat68chat chat68chat 31-35, M Jan 25

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    Why Not?

    have shut out my step brother and stepsister as well as my father after being treated as someone who belonged on the outer fringes instead of a full family member
    bluboy2 bluboy2 56-60, M 2 Responses Oct 22, 2007

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    i just didnt get promoted at work

    because i have defensive behavior :S
    XXgirlXX XXgirlXX 26-30 3 Responses Feb 1

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    Trapped And Abused.

    I moved to small town to help take care of my mother. I worked for a family business that had a son about thirty five years old and we became friends. We were never meant to be more than friends as I was fifty nine. After knowing him a few months he started behaving as if he was...
    bamccam bamccam 61-65, F 44 Responses Jul 30, 2012

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    Just because I'm sad doesn't mean you can take

    advantage of me, mentally or sexually
    cj776 cj776 18-21, F Feb 11

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