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I Sometimes Go Into Self Destruct Mode

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 147 People

    I'm In Self-Destruct Mode

    There are days when I go into self-destruct mode and whenever I do this, it always affects my studies and my work. And sometimes, I get to the point where I think dying is the best option. Haven't consulted or told anyone about this, but I think i'm depressed. Clinically...
    Scheherazade88 Scheherazade88 26-30, F Nov 29, 2013

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    I Self-Destruct

    I self-destruct… My worst enemy is myself. I self-destruct when it comes to relationships. And when I was in one, I never noticed. First comes the fights over nothing Then the accusations Then the truths or the reality of the relationship, And finally the tears and then...
    hateme92 hateme92 18-21, F Jul 10, 2013

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    Like Today

    I wish I could just crumple myself up and hurl myself into the nearest trash can. I'm a horrible, worthless person.
    SpiritOfTheRabbit SpiritOfTheRabbit 31-35, F 2 Responses Nov 27, 2010

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    But That's Life

    And that's then the razor comes out, and I feel no longer in control as I become numb.
    BehindBlueEyes11 BehindBlueEyes11 18-21, F Feb 6, 2010

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    There Are Times That I Think Of This

    I some times think of hurting my self. I just don't know why I would think of it. I guess that i have a hard time with my self. That I think about hurting my self. Then I think about the guy that I like. That seems to make me feel a whole lot better. I guess that i have a hard...
    acjf acjf 22-25, F 1 Response Nov 13, 2010

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    It Will Pass

    I doubt that anyone switches to self-destructive mode just for fun. Everytime i switch to that, its because im forced to, but not from only one part of my entire life, there have to be a few more to make me do this to myself...and usually there is a lot of such things... About a...
    misunderztood misunderztood 18-21, F 4 Responses Feb 15, 2011

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    Sometimes...

    I'm not always self-loathing. I don't always have a low self-esteem, or feel worthless all the time. There are days when I feel pretty. There are days when I love my hair, my smile, my body. There are days when I love my talents and I can do anything. But then, there are those...
    DarkAngel123 DarkAngel123 18-21, F Mar 20, 2011

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    Me Too

    I've been sleeping all day. I want to go out an buy a box of cigarettes.
    WinterSkies WinterSkies 18-21 Jan 22, 2011

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    So I can get pretty self destructive.

    When i get this way I find myself desperately seeking approval from people who just take and never give back what I need from them. This can be a partner, friends and jobs and work colleagues. I have come to the realisation that it's because I care about people. I want them to...
    Gooner70 Gooner70 41-45, M Jan 11, 2014

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    Can't Think Of A Title.

    I have been belittled so much I have not a scrap or shred of self worth left. I am too much of a wimp to kill myself, but if I ever get cancer or some other treatable disease, I will definitely >not< get treatment just so I can die all that much sooner.
    katnipkitkat katnipkitkat 41-45, F Feb 15, 2011

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    Like Right Now

    I am feeling pretty crap. It's one of those transient but regular occurrences in my life. My response is to withdraw and go "whatever". I become careless and slightly reckless. All I want to do is numb my mind and not think anymore, so out come the sleeping pills to hurry...
    Louey Louey 31-35, F 4 Responses Jan 16, 2008

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    Its Just What I Do

    I can't stop it, i push people to the very limits when i don't even mean to or want to, its a natural reaction, and im only getting better at it. Right now i think i've got to the point where i've pushed so many people away there is no one left. And i hate myself. I don't know...
    DarkShadeOfGrey DarkShadeOfGrey 26-30 2 Responses Feb 14, 2011

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    I wanna be spontaneous and impulsive... Just for a night.
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    Prom selfie. Waddaya think?
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    We're all different. We cope in ways that we consider suitable for our own well being. Some use constructive coping mechanisms, while others use destructive ones. Along the lines...
    abcdefghisabelmnopqrst abcdefghisabelmnopqrst 26-30, F 1 Response Apr 10

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    To do it. Just what is the point in living anymore if I am not going to have salvation to heaven anyway ? Yup. Here's my point . I don't see how I can ever live a happy life...
    Thedepressedgirlatthewindow Thedepressedgirlatthewindow 16-17, F 3 Responses Apr 6

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    Sometimes I just get so frustrated. Im trying to not self harm but its just so hard. Everything builds up inside and I explode. If I cant cut ill punch walls, sometimes even myself...
    darebearsworld darebearsworld 16-17, F 1 Response Apr 13

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    Saw this group title and just couldn't resist. (with selfies)As a man I am very shy around cameras and do not like my picture taken. The opposite is true when I'm in my feminine...
    silkydrawers silkydrawers 46-50 5 Responses 6 days ago

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    Found this on tubler, really strong. Before you self harm in any way, you should probably know what you’re getting into. Before you make that cut, please keep in mind that you...
    josef2000 josef2000 13-15, M 3 Responses Apr 13

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    I used to be an extremely social person, because i loved it. And i was good at it. I was good at socializing, and i liked being surrounded by other people, especially if they were...
    moninskii moninskii 18-21, F 5 Responses Apr 14

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    The Spring semester is winding down and I have only one more undergraduate art class modeling assignment for the term. With the end of the semester I will have been modeling as an...
    1957model 1957model 51-55, M 1 day ago

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    Could perhaps be phrased better.. but.. I spend alot of time alone + dont know where I want to go in life really. ... There is a book called "Polarities of Experience...
    mirkwood86 mirkwood86 26-30, M Apr 6

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    The loneliness is overwhelming.when I walk out,i envy everyone on the street.I feel empty,I feel like a dead body without soul.sometimes I eat too much,sometimes I don't eat at all...
    lesliechen lesliechen 22-25, F 2 Responses Apr 8

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    I haven't seen my ex since the last time we made love. I kind of could tell as it was happening, that it was going to be the last time. a few days later, we got into an argument...
    Kizzykinz Kizzykinz 18-21, F 1 Response Apr 15

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    So basically, I'm a model for David Clic photography.I've been modelling since I was 15yrs old, however the adult shoots began when I was 17yrs old.I've posted some of my shoots on...
    CemoneDC CemoneDC 18-21, F 9 Responses Apr 15

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    Sometimes or most off the time I have no confidence. No confidence for making friends, sometimes speaking to acquaintance's. Or for things I do creative I don't believe it's good...
    Ghost25 Ghost25 16-17, M 5 days ago

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    i have low self esteem, and i hate it. because i love myself, but its like i find trouble thinking in that way everyday. i have headaches sometimes thinking about bad things. I am...
    NonoFlorArtist NonoFlorArtist 13-15, F 1 Response Mar 31

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    a lot of the time, I can forget the reasons why. I'm depressed, sure, whatever. I ignore it, force my way past it, don't look at it, don't examine it. But then something happens...
    anata1 anata1 22-25, F Apr 4

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    I really want to cut big fat cuts across my thigh at the moment ... But I'm overdue for my Pap smear ... *sigh* the dilemmas of a sexually active adult cutter I'll have to make...
    DaughterGone DaughterGone 26-30, F 1 Response Apr 15

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    I self-harmed for about 10 years. I have scars all over my body. I haven't done it in almost 9 months. Sometimes I still have strong urges. I'm so self conscious about the scars...
    underdogpain underdogpain 22-25, T 3 days ago

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    I cut myself because I guess sometimes I feel as though the whole world is against me and I deserve to feel pain. But the funny thing is the pain begins to be pleasure and seeing...
    Dakota15 Dakota15 18-21, F 1 Response 3 days ago

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    I always tell myself and others that I dont care about clothes or fashion or trends or anything like that. Well actually I really dont care for fashion bc its weird or for trends...
    ofnoimportance ofnoimportance 18-21, F 1 Response Apr 5

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    Please stop! Please don't tell me that you're a model and Instagram is your agent.
    koh72 koh72 41-45, M 1 Response Apr 11

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    THIS IS REALLY IMPORTANT Comment down below what you associate as being silly. Only once you've done that continue reading- So maybe you relate being silly to a child capering...
    AwquardTallGirl AwquardTallGirl 13-15, F Apr 12

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    My bones ache and I am now very weary, The lies and evil before me make me quite dreary, Evil moves quite freely amongst all of us now, Out in the open it takes it's arrogant...
    johnny048 johnny048 46-50, M 1 Response Apr 19

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    There are numerous older men in the world who are single and seeking someone special in their life. For all such men, AgeMeet.com has been created as a reliable online platform to...
    bettycc11 bettycc11 26-30, F 3 days ago

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    True kind of. I saw this video the other day about this guy, he went to a mall food court and asked random people if they had any food because he was hungry. They all said no...
    wedgieshurtalot wedgieshurtalot 16-17, F 3 Responses Mar 28

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    i prefer to keep my problems to myself rather than burdening others... i get pass it eventually... my friend said I'm her roll model... idk what to think maybe I'm suppose to be...
    mergirl123 mergirl123 18-21, F 3 Responses Mar 31

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    Self-confidence... I had plenty of that when I was young. But I lost it due to some horrible life experiences. When I was young my daddy was always dtunk and hit my brother in...
    Miridia96 Miridia96 18-21, F 19 Responses Apr 2

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    The battles inside my head are sometimes so hard to win. my mind usually wins against my heart. my heart is so beat up and beat down. its crying and dying. its killing its self to...
    singingpanda1414 singingpanda1414 13-15, F 1 Response Apr 3

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    I am very self conscious and i always have been. It can be so hard sometimes especially when the anxiety kicks in. I'v had times when i'v been walking in public and i felt like i...
    Iseeitall Iseeitall 18-21, M 1 Response Apr 7

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