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I Sometimes I Feel Like I Am Not Alive

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 143 People

    What Is Being Alive?

    What is being alive even like anymore? It gets old, not feeling alive or feeling like I can be real. What's even the real me? I mean...how fake have I become recently? Is the pain being masked day by day starting to define who I am now? I wonder if that's how everyone works...
    7blondemoments 7blondemoments 18-21, F Mar 20, 2013

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    Numb

    I don't know if feeling numb and feeling as though you aren't alive are the same thing but I'm sharing my story anyways.  This whole week, keeping in mind its only just the end of Wednesday, I've felt like a robot.  Get up at 7, go pick my girls up (I babysit, I ...
    thatonegirl18 thatonegirl18 18-21, F 2 Responses Jun 10, 2009

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    Am I Still Here?

    Sometimes I feel like I am not alive, as if I am no longer a resident of my own body.  I'm forced to ask myself, "Am I still here?  Is there any part of me that is still alive inside?"  I ask myself, but I receive no answer.  Even I am not sure if I truly...
    oneandlonely12 oneandlonely12 22-25, F 1 Response Jun 21, 2010

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    Dead

    makes me think of the song "beauty from pain" by superchic... "lights go out all around me, one last candle to keep out the night. then the darkness surrounds me. i know I'm alive but i feel like i've died."
    xxbloodyfretboardxx xxbloodyfretboardxx 18-21, F May 29, 2009

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    Numb, Dead, Empty, Not Alive

    Sometimes things don't hurt that should. I can touch a hot pan or cold ice or someone does or says something that should hurt me, but I don't notice or care.
    KisKat KisKat 18-21, F 1 Response Jun 30, 2013

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    I'm Not Alive

    I'm not alive,The past year,Or so,That's how I felt,now,All that's gone,I'm livin' again.
    lazycrazybasket lazycrazybasket 46-50, M Feb 19, 2012

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    I don't even think I am anymore.

    I'm just a hollow cast of the past. But it's not hollow, it's filled with pain and all the medications I have to take
    Hiiamawhovian Hiiamawhovian 13-15, F Apr 9

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    Like Now

    My body is actually numb. The Neurontin does that. Bu tlately it's been hard to get out of bed. I don't see much in my future. I have smeone I like alot and plan to visit in June, and that will be like a bright star in my dark night. Right now, depression has me in its grip. I...
    deleted deleted 26-30 3 Responses Apr 9, 2010

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    Last Night

    I surely did feel dead last night. I thought I was dyING! Panic attack & crying. After being hurt for so much, for so long, you really do feel numb, eventually.
    otad12 otad12 31-35, F 2 Responses Sep 16, 2008

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    Related Experiences

    I've experienced some very lucid and vivid dreams myself. Since this is my first post here, I'll start off with the most intense. Summer 1999: In this dream, I was standing with...
    Shiva9 Shiva9 36-40, M 2 hrs ago

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    Sometimes I feel like Im just living inside a body looking out....not really doing anything, just reacting to the world around me. Am I real...Is this all a dream...Is this all...
    PixieLoveChild PixieLoveChild 26-30, F 7 hrs ago

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    Not having you in my life is killing me... It's almost been a week since I spoke to you and I'm missing you so much. I feel like part of me is missing and I hate not waking up to...
    Jenezebel Jenezebel 26-30, F 16 hrs ago

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    The fact that I am twenty-two and seeing all my friends graduated college this year without me really put things into perspective. Being the penniless punching bag that I am, I...
    theMETAmonologue theMETAmonologue 22-25, F 1 day ago

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    I believe my dreams are more than a reflection of my inner feelings. I believe my dreams were like a dimension, an escape from the melancholic reality I am in with. When I dream...
    Denglemteprinsesse Denglemteprinsesse 18-21, F 1 day ago

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    It's starting to get hard. Being a completely different person online compared to my real life. Online I tend to be a little more outgoing and confident. All the current friends...
    Tuva Tuva 31-35, M 1 Response 3 days ago

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    Nothing I say is ever right
    Nae82 Nae82 31-35, F 4 days ago

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    Every time that I'm with someone I'm just feel like they don't want me there and I sometimes think I'm better alone
    winterblood winterblood 13-15, F 1 Response 4 days ago

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    My mind seems to be racing through millions of thoughts tonight, and I can honestly say that sleep feels so far away at this moment. I often wonder about life, and about my purpose...
    theatreeyes theatreeyes 18-21, M 1 Response 4 days ago

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    Lately I've been shutting out everyone. My best friend moved away . And since then I shut out ever one else and am just staying home. I'm scared about what will happen when school...
    palesky palesky 13-15, F 5 days ago

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    Life: you work until you die. That's about it. You're "suppose to" go to college, you're suppose to get a degree, you're suppose to get married, you're suppose to have kids... All...
    beautifulloner beautifulloner 22-25, F 5 Responses 5 days ago

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    I don't know why but I always feel like there has to be more to life than what I have and it makes me feel pretty down a lot of the time. I feel lost and that I'm not really doing...
    Ella147 Ella147 26-30, F 1 Response 6 days ago

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    In a society that has destroyed all adventure, the only adventure left is to destroy that society
    colonparentheses colonparentheses 16-17, F 4 Responses 6 days ago

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    I feel like my true nature has been suppressed over years of conditioning by my parents and society. I feel like there is an intense frustration and fear at the core of my being...
    ThisAnimalIsFree ThisAnimalIsFree 22-25, M Jul 23

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    I do bother people. I feel like sometimes people only talk to me because it's something to do. I end up becoming atleast in my eyes an obligation or a burden in some way. I try to...
    Raptax231 Raptax231 18-21, M 3 Responses Jul 22

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    They bring me down for being a pushover in their eyes, but when I try being the true "me" before I went into depression, they see it as fake. They see that "random burst of...
    kristy99 kristy99 22-25 Jul 21

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    Sometimes I feel like people think I'm a "weenie". My god brother is a year older than me but way cooler, he was/ would probably super popular in high school because he's hot. He's...
    FutureVet2014 FutureVet2014 18-21, F Jul 21

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    Not sometimes.. For me it's everytime!!!
    halohai halohai 18-21, F Jul 19

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    sometimes i feel like i annoy my friends on EP by constantly messaging them. i just do it because i'm bored most the time and constantly need someone to talk to. nothing specific...
    velloric velloric 18-21, M 5 Responses Jul 19

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    I feel like no one understands me, that as hard as I try to open up to people and trust in people, they just don't understand me. Maybe its because I am so guarded all the time...
    BroknGirl89 BroknGirl89 26-30, F 2 Responses Jul 19

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    I feel like now its hard for anybody to understand hoe how I feel. I am sensative in general but also being pregnant more sensative.I feel like no one who isnt pregnant understands...
    muffin30 muffin30 26-30, F 1 Response Jul 18

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    I don't know why, but for months now I just have eaten barely one or two things a day. I feel hungry often, but I just don't care enough to actually eat. I'm worried I might be...
    oeN4 oeN4 18-21, F 1 Response Jul 18

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    I feel like a massive **** head. All I ever do is drink, take drugs, party and come to work looking and feeling like garbage. I just have such a crap attitude these days. I feel...
    DazzleX DazzleX 18-21, M Jul 16

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    Have you ever been cheated on? That is the feeling that will never leave my chest, no matter how much I try and fill my heart with happiness, there will always be a dull pain there...
    RNgirl23 RNgirl23 22-25, F Jul 16

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    After I don't know how many years of bottling up my emotions and everything it feels like the bottle is near its tipping point. Like I'm going to explode but I can't even do that...
    LAlbertoG LAlbertoG 22-25, M Jul 14

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    i literally have the worst time deciding things. like im always to feelings at once or have to polar opposite thoughts about the same subject!?
    Mavalyn Mavalyn 13-15, F Jul 13

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    i feel the same. i feel totally different. i act different and dont think the same as a lot of people sometimes. i just dont feel like im normal. i talk to guys and they are always...
    screechowl83 screechowl83 31-35, M 2 Responses Jul 13

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    One like me is not supposed to integrate with society. I mean I'm supposed to but not. Ultimately, it's how it would benefit me. How will it feed my curiosity? How will it avoid...
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Jul 12

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    all this time I felt lost or abandoned , among people, but still feeling different , like not belonging I have a family sometimes I ask myself am I dreaming? when I'll wake up...
    angeleyes2820 angeleyes2820 36-40 2 Responses Jul 12

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    I feel like my dreams want to lead me to something , lately I've been getting weird dreams that feel so weird , and I need help . I don't remember much but I keep having the same...
    deleted deleted 26-30 Jul 12

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    Somedays that how I feel even thou I know I do have friends
    deleted deleted 26-30 Jul 11

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    I feel like i shouldn't have to beg someone to pay me what they owe me.... i have given this person more than a month to pay me only $30 which is nearly nothing.. oh but she have...
    octobermess octobermess 22-25, F Jul 11

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    If I could have just one wish, I'd wish for a true friend. one that never abandons me, one that always has my back. i've realized that it's fairly easy to make some friends, but...
    Seraphine246 Seraphine246 31-35 6 Responses Jul 9

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