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I Sometimes Want to Have An Eating Disorder

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 145 People

    It Comes and It Goes

    i'm 20 years old, 5'7" and around 140 lbs. (although that's an estimate because i really don't weigh myself) sometimes i feel pretty good about my body, and i'm happy with it. other times though, i look in the mirror and i'm like, "you are too fat!" i used to be...
    runnagirrl runnagirrl 22-25, F 1 Response Apr 3, 2008

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    "Its No Big Deal."

    Here's the thing. I love to eat but hate it at the same time. Someone once told me that they feel like a failure when they eat and i feel the exact same way! I find it so difficult to not eat. And yet difficult TO eat. I am over weight, however much i deny it. I'm 5'3 and about...
    Isabellesheart Isabellesheart 18-21, F 1 Response Apr 8, 2009

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    Im Recovered And Miss It

    ive recovered (some say you never stop recovering) from EDNOS. started at 13 ended at 16. i miss it. i miss not being able to eat; i miss seeing fat in the mirror. i miss not feeling the need to eat, the absolute anger at my body. i started college and am living in residence...
    abittobright abittobright 18-21, F Oct 16, 2013

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    I Don't Have the Will Power

    I am 20 now...  and since I was about 17, I have had a few little month or so spells where I will eat literally nothing but maybe a granola bar a day.  I will lose 15 pounds or so...  But then I get happy with the way I look, satisfied... and I...
    pinkkennel pinkkennel 18-21 1 Response Mar 29, 2009

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    Are You Kidding Me?!!!

    Eating disorders suck major nuts. I'm fat. Really, I am. Supa chubby. And I struggle with Bulimia and Anorexic tendencies. Before this, I used to be a binge eater. So I go through binge cycles without "getting rid" of the food. I did lose some weight by starving. I mantain my way...
    CrazyHippieChick CrazyHippieChick 70+, F 3 Responses May 30, 2011

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    I Hate My Eating Disorder!

    I saw this and felt really sad. I've had anorexia and bulimia for almost a year and trust me you don't want it. I'm still recovering so I'm not so full of knowledge onn an eating disorder. You loose your period, have no boobs, get tired really easily,I looked like a 9 year old...
    SaraC09 SaraC09 13-15, F 2 Responses Aug 12, 2012

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    I wish I was anorexic

    because I love love love food. I could eat it all day and then as soon as I'm done eating I feel bad. I've tried throwing up before but I don't have that much of a gag reflex. I wish I could go with out eating and just live on coffee.
    aestrada91 aestrada91 22-25, F 3 Responses Mar 10

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    *gasp* How'd That Finger End Up Down My Throat?...

    Sometimes I think it would just be sooooo much easier to just make myself puke instead of hating myself for being fat. I've done some eating disorder-ish things before. I've starved myself for a week here and there, I've eaten next to nothing for a couple months, I've taken...
    Warmthoughtsofyou04 Warmthoughtsofyou04 26-30, F 2 Responses Jun 7, 2008

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    As Horrible As That Is To Say

    I'm fat. Against my will.Because of an endocrine disorder I have, my body is under the impression that I am in a condition of famine. Therefore- I gain weight SUPER easily no matter how healthy I eat, and if I starve myself, my body holds tight to the existing fat I carry. I am...
    SpiritOfTheRabbit SpiritOfTheRabbit 31-35, F 6 Responses Jun 6, 2011

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    Do I Have An Eating Disorder?

    I'm really not sure. In school I wouldn't eat anything, but then I would get home and eat a little bit of everything. I would kind of feel bad about it because I really hated my thighs, and I wanted to have stick legs like every other girl at school. I went through something...
    LeniGail LeniGail 16-17, F 3 Responses Jun 6, 2013

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    I've struggled with my weight most of my life.

    I'm really short, and it almost seems like I put on weight if I just look at too many cupcakes. I can drop about 30 lbs if I stick PERFECTLY to a strict diet for months. The last time I did it, I strictly ate a piece of fruit and cup of yogurt for breakfast, a salad for lunch...
    justsomegirloutthere89 justsomegirloutthere89 22-25, F Jan 7

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    Real Bad Sometimes

    I am 5'2" and I weigh about 155.  I have hypothyroidism so I gain weight really easily and have a horrible time losing becusae dieting just makes me sleepy.  It seems like I could lose if i could be anorexic, nervous like they are so I would be awake and obsessive...
    alisheaskylar alisheaskylar 26-30, F Aug 12, 2008

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    ??

    sometimes i would rather go through a eating disorder than to be called and look and feel fat . this extra 30lbs sucks . i wonder how fast i could lose 30lbs by puking ??
    bandgeek2 bandgeek2 16-17, F 2 Responses Apr 18, 2012

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    Wimp

    I tried to throw up but I chickened out. I'm really disappointed with myself right now...
    LeniGail LeniGail 16-17, F 2 Responses Jun 6, 2013

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    I Kno Iz Stupid...

    i kno iz stupid but evrytime my parents start telling meh  **** i just imagine wat they wud do if i started starving myself....
    iluvnerds12 iluvnerds12 13-15, F 1 Response Mar 7, 2011

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    Eating Disorders.

    I've been chubby ever since I can remember. I was never one to blame my weight on anything medical. But 2 years ago, I was diagnosed with Poly-Cystic Ovarian Syndrome and a year prior to that I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism. My doctors and I came to the conclusion that these...
    collision collision 18-21, F 6 Responses Nov 29, 2007

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    Obsessed

    I am obsessed with eating disorders. I love anything relating to ana, mia, or obese people. I have the movie/documentary "Thin" and I watch it all the time. Anything that has to do with models I love. I even watch discovery health on obese people to see what they go through.
    chelsia1 chelsia1 26-30, F 6 Responses Jan 8, 2008

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    Sometimes I Try To Be Anorexic

    I sometimes want to have full blown anorexia so that I can focus on anorexia all the time instead of me focusing on things in my past like this one guy. When I focus on not eating and feeling the hunger pains, I can escape reality for a bit. And if I am in a really bad stage of...
    reset reset 18-21, F 4 Responses Jan 23, 2012

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    It Sounds Weird..

    I really hate eating sometimes.. I just feel like I'm putting on loads of weight there and then. I do love food.. but sometimes I wish I wasn't so greedy. Most of the time I eat it's because I just feel like it not because I'm hungry. Recently I have basically lost my appetite...
    BrokenAngelWishes BrokenAngelWishes 18-21, F Nov 9, 2009

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    Related Experiences

    I've decided today, that im going to fight this eating disorder... I'm not gonna let it win... I've talked with my sister and she's gonna help plan healthy meals for me. Taking...
    MrCutBleedSmile MrCutBleedSmile 18-21, M 2 Responses 20 hrs ago

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    Sometimes I eat a lot and still hungry...sometimes I don't want to eat at all...and sometimes I feel hungry but I also feel like if I eat something I'll throw up for sure...sigh...
    anderlr anderlr 13-15, M Apr 21

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    Except for I do not have the eating disorder that most of you have. I have binge eating disorder. Binge Eating Disorder, for those of you who do not know, is kind of like Bulimia...
    brriittttaannyy brriittttaannyy 16-17, F 1 Response a week ago

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    I had an eating disorder for almost 4 years. it started with the fact that I hate eating around people and I don't like chewing noises and then progressed to not just avoiding...
    shannonjade shannonjade 18-21, F 1 Response Apr 14

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    Like many mental health issues, eating disorders are simply not recognized as severe public health problems and carries a great stigma. But there is POWER in collective...
    MSWatUSC MSWatUSC 22-25, F Apr 13

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    My eating disorder was yesterday diagnosed as anorexia. I've fought against this horrible mental illness for half a year, which is way too long. I want to live a normal life again...
    ThatCrimson ThatCrimson 13-15, F 1 Response Apr 23

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    I don't want to be skinny. I don't want to be called "skinny". I just want to be healthy. And I am healthy. I am recovered. 7 years without an eating disorder is wonderful. I look...
    CreoleItalianwoman CreoleItalianwoman 31-35, F 3 Responses Apr 23

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    my bulimia isnt what defines me. It took me awhile to recognize that "hey i have a problem" but i kept quite for a long time. Not just my eating disorder but other things as well...
    WhiteRice14 WhiteRice14 18-21, F 3 Responses Apr 7

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    been having it for all my life really but it manifested itself truly little over a year ago and my weight has just been one big yoyo one minute im skin and bones and the next im...
    confusednormalness confusednormalness 18-21, F 3 Responses Apr 8

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    I believe i have... I am struggelning with these thoughts... Impulses. I could just end it, jump infront of that train.... Or it would feel so good to cut... To feel something...
    lynnewolf99 lynnewolf99 16-17, F 1 Response 1 day ago

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    I was thinking to get a job at Starbucks to gain experience (because i never do any work before) but i have panic disorder with agoraphobia. I am feeling a little bit scared and...
    qijae qijae 18-21, F Apr 20

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    Hi, I have Schizoaffective Disorder, and I feel like I have split personalities, one is the Schizoaffective part of me, the one who talks about angels and demons, light and...
    Jesusfoundme Jesusfoundme 31-35, F 6 Responses 4 days ago

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    I sometimes want to sleep forever...when things are so though...
    enchantingjade enchantingjade 36-40 2 Responses 3 days ago

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    This nonesense of not wanting to eat and starve myself is getting old. The lost of complete appetite is ridiculous. I'm hiplogucemic I NEED to have my meals and my snacks and yet I...
    AndreaCulea AndreaCulea 22-25, F 2 Responses Apr 23

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    I'm not sure what to think right now. I've gained about five unwanted pounds this year. Nothing major, still thin. Just a little bit of excess fat that I recently gained. I wanted...
    Justventingg Justventingg 18-21, F 5 Responses Apr 26

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    But what if the one who create "moral codes" have disorders and those they call "crazy" were actually "normal"? who knows right?
    wereuniverse wereuniverse 16-17, F 1 Response 20 hrs ago

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    I'm really scared. I tried to eat a few hours ago and bite after bite I just felt so disgusted big time (but I kept forcing me to eat. I couldn't manage to eat the whole plate...
    AndreaCulea AndreaCulea 22-25, F Apr 23

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    I still struggle on eating much or enough but hey I'm proud to say that atleast I haven't starve in like two weeks. I've been eating all three meals and some snacks. A few times I...
    AndreaCulea AndreaCulea 22-25, F 2 Responses 5 days ago

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    I hate it. I really do. I always relapse back into restricting/fasting for up to a month, then I'll go back to normal. Why this ******* constant up and down thing? I am so...
    SilencesLullaby SilencesLullaby 16-17, F 1 Response 5 days ago

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    I go on periods of starving myself and working out secretly(and hating my body,negative thoughts,anxiety around food etc) and periods of somewhat normality(able to eat SOME junk...
    khloesaffron khloesaffron 13-15, F 1 Response Apr 10

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    I, Caylee, had delayed 2 weeks of my life stuck in that hellish hospital, but today is my release date. So I guess I’m sort of happy. Either way I actually missed Anna and Miah...
    WhiteRice14 WhiteRice14 18-21, F 2 Responses Apr 19

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    I started eating a little again now Im not eating at all I don't deserve to I deserve to did from starvation
    butterflybaby123 butterflybaby123 13-15 1 Response Apr 11

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    IF YOUR NAME IS ALEXA OR MATTHEW DONT READ: YAY!!! I haven't ate today I hope my pro ana buddy is proud of me u know who u are lol I'm proud of myself for not eating at all now I...
    butterflybaby123 butterflybaby123 13-15 2 Responses Apr 12

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    I tend to eat very tiny portions and I always chew and spit without swallowing most of my food. Yesterday my parents and I were out and we picked up dinner on the go. They kept...
    imasweetheart imasweetheart 13-15, F Apr 18

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