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I Sometimes Want to Have An Eating Disorder

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 133 People

    As Horrible As That Is To Say

    I'm fat. Against my will.Because of an endocrine disorder I have, my body is under the impression that I am in a condition of famine. Therefore- I gain weight SUPER easily no matter how healthy I eat, and if I starve myself, my body holds tight to the existing fat I carry. I am...
    SpiritOfTheRabbit SpiritOfTheRabbit 31-35, F 6 Responses Jun 6, 2011

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    Sometimes I Try To Be Anorexic

    I sometimes want to have full blown anorexia so that I can focus on anorexia all the time instead of me focusing on things in my past like this one guy. When I focus on not eating and feeling the hunger pains, I can escape reality for a bit. And if I am in a really bad stage of...
    reset reset 18-21, F 4 Responses Jan 23, 2012

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    *gasp* How'd That Finger End Up Down My Throat?...

    Sometimes I think it would just be sooooo much easier to just make myself puke instead of hating myself for being fat. I've done some eating disorder-ish things before. I've starved myself for a week here and there, I've eaten next to nothing for a couple months, I've taken...
    Warmthoughtsofyou04 Warmthoughtsofyou04 26-30, F 2 Responses Jun 7, 2008

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    Do I Have An Eating Disorder?

    I'm really not sure. In school I wouldn't eat anything, but then I would get home and eat a little bit of everything. I would kind of feel bad about it because I really hated my thighs, and I wanted to have stick legs like every other girl at school. I went through something...
    LeniGail LeniGail 13-15, F 3 Responses Jun 6, 2013

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    It Sounds Weird..

    I really hate eating sometimes.. I just feel like I'm putting on loads of weight there and then. I do love food.. but sometimes I wish I wasn't so greedy. Most of the time I eat it's because I just feel like it not because I'm hungry. Recently I have basically lost my appetite...
    BrokenAngelWishes BrokenAngelWishes 18-21, F Nov 9, 2009

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    ??

    sometimes i would rather go through a eating disorder than to be called and look and feel fat . this extra 30lbs sucks . i wonder how fast i could lose 30lbs by puking ??
    bandgeek2 bandgeek2 16-17, F 1 Response Apr 18, 2012

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    Obsessed

    I am obsessed with eating disorders. I love anything relating to ana, mia, or obese people. I have the movie/documentary "Thin" and I watch it all the time. Anything that has to do with models I love. I even watch discovery health on obese people to see what they go through.
    chelsia1 chelsia1 26-30, F 6 Responses Jan 8, 2008

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    Wimp

    I tried to throw up but I chickened out. I'm really disappointed with myself right now...
    LeniGail LeniGail 13-15, F 1 Response Jun 6, 2013

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    I Kno Iz Stupid...

    i kno iz stupid but evrytime my parents start telling meh  **** i just imagine wat they wud do if i started starving myself....
    iluvnerds12 iluvnerds12 13-15, F 2 Responses Mar 7, 2011

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    I Don't Have the Will Power

    I am 20 now...  and since I was about 17, I have had a few little month or so spells where I will eat literally nothing but maybe a granola bar a day.  I will lose 15 pounds or so...  But then I get happy with the way I look, satisfied... and I...
    pinkkennel pinkkennel 18-21 1 Response Mar 29, 2009

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    I'm still in recovery

    and I relapsed a few times already about a week ago I think. Sometimes I want to be fully recovered and other times I never want to end my ednos. School is coming up soon and I already know what that means...at school I always skip lunch, always, and it's very rare that I eat...
    XxBadXVibesxX XxBadXVibesxX 13-15, F 1 Response Jul 30

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    Are You Kidding Me?!!!

    Eating disorders suck major nuts. I'm fat. Really, I am. Supa chubby. And I struggle with Bulimia and Anorexic tendencies. Before this, I used to be a binge eater. So I go through binge cycles without "getting rid" of the food. I did lose some weight by starving. I mantain my way...
    CrazyHippieChick CrazyHippieChick 22-25, F 2 Responses May 30, 2011

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    Im Recovered And Miss It

    ive recovered (some say you never stop recovering) from EDNOS. started at 13 ended at 16. i miss it. i miss not being able to eat; i miss seeing fat in the mirror. i miss not feeling the need to eat, the absolute anger at my body. i started college and am living in residence...
    abittobright abittobright 18-21, F Oct 16, 2013

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    I Hate My Eating Disorder!

    I saw this and felt really sad. I've had anorexia and bulimia for almost a year and trust me you don't want it. I'm still recovering so I'm not so full of knowledge onn an eating disorder. You loose your period, have no boobs, get tired really easily,I looked like a 9 year old...
    SaraC09 SaraC09 13-15, F 2 Responses Aug 12, 2012

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    Real Bad Sometimes

    I am 5'2" and I weigh about 155.  I have hypothyroidism so I gain weight really easily and have a horrible time losing becusae dieting just makes me sleepy.  It seems like I could lose if i could be anorexic, nervous like they are so I would be awake and obsessive...
    alisheaskylar alisheaskylar 26-30, F Aug 12, 2008

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    "Its No Big Deal."

    Here's the thing. I love to eat but hate it at the same time. Someone once told me that they feel like a failure when they eat and i feel the exact same way! I find it so difficult to not eat. And yet difficult TO eat. I am over weight, however much i deny it. I'm 5'3 and about...
    Isabellesheart Isabellesheart 18-21, F 1 Response Apr 8, 2009

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    Eating Disorders.

    I've been chubby ever since I can remember. I was never one to blame my weight on anything medical. But 2 years ago, I was diagnosed with Poly-Cystic Ovarian Syndrome and a year prior to that I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism. My doctors and I came to the conclusion that these...
    collision collision 18-21, F 6 Responses Nov 29, 2007

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    It Comes and It Goes

    i'm 20 years old, 5'7" and around 140 lbs. (although that's an estimate because i really don't weigh myself) sometimes i feel pretty good about my body, and i'm happy with it. other times though, i look in the mirror and i'm like, "you are too fat!" i used to be...
    runnagirrl runnagirrl 22-25, F 1 Response Apr 3, 2008

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    Related Experiences

    First I was extremely underweight, then over ate, then restricted, used laxatives, purged, etc. Now I just binge eat. No purging or restrictions. I just want the coldness, the...
    kittylova kittylova 18-21, F 1 day ago

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    I have always fought with an eating disorder and anxiety but this year I became involved with depression and self-harm. In the spring of 2014, I got involved in a car accident and...
    ecokismet ecokismet 22-25, F 9 hrs ago

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    The worst aspect of them is that even in recovery, you never entirely let go of the thought-patterns and emotions that link so deeply with the behaviours that drove you there...
    morea morea 22-25, F 1 Response Dec 5

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    When I was younger I never ate. Not because I was scared to gain, but because when I was hungry I never felt like actually eating. The thought of it even made me nauseous at times...
    MiniMe57 MiniMe57 13-15, F Dec 6

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    PART 1 Went through other posts on Binge Eating Disorder, glad I'm not alone. However, its still not a good thing. I've been binging for a while now, and if counting calories work...
    TJLK TJLK 18-21, F Dec 8

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    I struggle with eating disorders. I chew and spit, I starve myself and sometimes I overeat junk food and then sometimes take diet pills and laxatives. Please someone message me and...
    kristen18p kristen18p 18-21, F Dec 9

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    It's undiagnosed but I'm pretty sure I have a disorder. Sometimes I eat just to make me feel better about myself. For instance, I was having a ruff morning the other day. I woke up...
    Soccerman5 Soccerman5 31-35, M Nov 21

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    I've been eating a lot to gain because my clothes are loose but it's not working! I think I just want to gain weight to tell my eating disorder "You don't control me!"but i still...
    yonnie97 yonnie97 16-17, F 1 Response Dec 10

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    And it was terrible. It developed over a period of years, years that I remember only perfectionism, anxiety, and self consciousness. I wanted to change myself. At age 10, I went...
    deleted deleted 26-30 Dec 3

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    I don't think I could say that I "had" an eating disorder. I think it's like being an alcoholic. You're just constantly in recovery. I relapsed this week. Mentally and physically...
    untamablekitty untamablekitty 26-30, F 4 days ago

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    I last puked from my bulimia a week ago (I'm trying so hard to curb My eating disorder and not make it worse) And now My food still doesn't want to stay down. I never purged daily...
    Ginkofishin Ginkofishin 18-21, F 1 Response Dec 9

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    I have schizoaffective disorder. I'm sitting at home on a friday night by myself. First of all I didn't have the energy to go out, secondly, I just never seem to have plans...
    krome13 krome13 31-35, M 1 Response Dec 12

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    for the past 11 years now I have had anxiety and depression that keeps coming and going. it has made my life so hard. I have hurt people, I have hurt myself and it just keeps...
    ShadowWolf01 ShadowWolf01 16-17, F 5 hrs ago

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    Nov. 20, 2014 5:30pm I don't know what is wrong with me. I felt so happy when I got home. I felt so much love for mj and I was just on cloud nine. But I guess my flight reached...
    yonnie97 yonnie97 16-17, F Dec 12

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    Hi. I'm fifteen, 5'2", and I don't know how much I weigh. I know that four months ago I was 150 pounds. I skip breakfast ad lunch and sometimes I only have my snack after school...
    Lbh1999 Lbh1999 13-15, F 3 days ago

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    its co,e to the point, that i have panic attacks before or after eating small meals or sometimes a drink
    itsjustlucy123 itsjustlucy123 13-15, F 1 Response 2 days ago

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    Idk, i guess i've always been this way...it simply got worse with time. I'm not anorexic, or bulimic or a binge eater or anything along those lines. I don't have issues with my...
    IAmOptimusPrime IAmOptimusPrime 22-25, F Nov 30

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    Seeing the posts on this page makes me so sad... :( I used to struggle with anorexia and bulimia daily, and sometimes I still fall into old mindsets. But this is NOT the way to be...
    CountryQueen623 CountryQueen623 18-21, F 1 Response Dec 2

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    Im losing weight... But still feel like **** at the end of the day... Though I'm so hungry, I don't want to eat... I end up forcing myself to... But I really don't want to... I'm...
    MrCutBleedSmile MrCutBleedSmile 18-21, M 2 Responses 5 days ago

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    I want to stop eating again.
    reverofniht reverofniht 16-17, F Nov 24

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    I was 220 pounds.... my mom has depression and my dad always works so of course all I ate was fast food it was easy on my mom but twist I took ballets from age 2-13 now I'm 17 my...
    hsch212 hsch212 18-21, F 1 Response Dec 9

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    Purged last night. Saw so much blood but I'm so used to seeing blood when I purge it doesn't scare me. I know I should be more worried but I just don't care. I'm feeled with apathy...
    yonnie97 yonnie97 16-17, F Nov 27

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    Im falling back into my old ways i cant even eat dinner or anything else with out counting the calories or thinking how fat i am and hating my self for eating that i want to feel...
    desitor desitor 16-17, F 1 Response Dec 10

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    I had been doing so well with my eating, and I just relapsed. I feel like such failure.
    Rmarie17 Rmarie17 18-21, F 2 Responses Nov 21

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    Day 4 not eating. where tf is my appetite. I licked a spoon with tomato soup on it earlier today and that's the closest I've gotten to food. My body rejects even the thought of...
    Minnowshi Minnowshi 18-21, F Nov 24

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    Hi. A few weeks ago i started this 'diet'..which isn't a diet..it's my way to death...i know that. I have a really good breakfast everyday. My friends, my parents, my teachers...
    BeancaBiaa BeancaBiaa 22-25, F 2 Responses Nov 26

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    Never eating a ******* thing again!
    yonnie97 yonnie97 16-17, F Dec 6

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    There was this one time I was going to make enough tuna to make sandwiches for a few days but i ended up just eating all the tuna probably within 15 seconds.
    mypawshaveprints mypawshaveprints 18-21, F a week ago

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    I weighted myself today...the first role in months. I lost it. Guess who isn't eating tomorrow.?
    disasterland disasterland 18-21, F 5 Responses 5 days ago

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