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I Sometimes Want to Have An Eating Disorder

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 140 People

    I've struggled with my weight most of my life.

    I'm really short, and it almost seems like I put on weight if I just look at too many cupcakes. I can drop about 30 lbs if I stick PERFECTLY to a strict diet for months. The last time I did it, I strictly ate a piece of fruit and cup of yogurt for breakfast, a salad for lunch...
    justsomegirloutthere89 justsomegirloutthere89 22-25, F Jan 7

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    ??

    sometimes i would rather go through a eating disorder than to be called and look and feel fat . this extra 30lbs sucks . i wonder how fast i could lose 30lbs by puking ??
    bandgeek2 bandgeek2 16-17, F 2 Responses Apr 18, 2012

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    Do I Have An Eating Disorder?

    I'm really not sure. In school I wouldn't eat anything, but then I would get home and eat a little bit of everything. I would kind of feel bad about it because I really hated my thighs, and I wanted to have stick legs like every other girl at school. I went through something...
    LeniGail LeniGail 16-17, F 3 Responses Jun 6, 2013

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    Are You Kidding Me?!!!

    Eating disorders suck major nuts. I'm fat. Really, I am. Supa chubby. And I struggle with Bulimia and Anorexic tendencies. Before this, I used to be a binge eater. So I go through binge cycles without "getting rid" of the food. I did lose some weight by starving. I mantain my way...
    CrazyHippieChick CrazyHippieChick 22-25, F 2 Responses May 30, 2011

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    As Horrible As That Is To Say

    I'm fat. Against my will.Because of an endocrine disorder I have, my body is under the impression that I am in a condition of famine. Therefore- I gain weight SUPER easily no matter how healthy I eat, and if I starve myself, my body holds tight to the existing fat I carry. I am...
    SpiritOfTheRabbit SpiritOfTheRabbit 31-35, F 6 Responses Jun 6, 2011

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    Real Bad Sometimes

    I am 5'2" and I weigh about 155.  I have hypothyroidism so I gain weight really easily and have a horrible time losing becusae dieting just makes me sleepy.  It seems like I could lose if i could be anorexic, nervous like they are so I would be awake and obsessive...
    alisheaskylar alisheaskylar 26-30, F Aug 12, 2008

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    Eating Disorders.

    I've been chubby ever since I can remember. I was never one to blame my weight on anything medical. But 2 years ago, I was diagnosed with Poly-Cystic Ovarian Syndrome and a year prior to that I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism. My doctors and I came to the conclusion that these...
    collision collision 18-21, F 6 Responses Nov 29, 2007

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    Wimp

    I tried to throw up but I chickened out. I'm really disappointed with myself right now...
    LeniGail LeniGail 16-17, F 2 Responses Jun 6, 2013

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    *gasp* How'd That Finger End Up Down My Throat?...

    Sometimes I think it would just be sooooo much easier to just make myself puke instead of hating myself for being fat. I've done some eating disorder-ish things before. I've starved myself for a week here and there, I've eaten next to nothing for a couple months, I've taken...
    Warmthoughtsofyou04 Warmthoughtsofyou04 26-30, F 2 Responses Jun 7, 2008

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    Obsessed

    I am obsessed with eating disorders. I love anything relating to ana, mia, or obese people. I have the movie/documentary "Thin" and I watch it all the time. Anything that has to do with models I love. I even watch discovery health on obese people to see what they go through.
    chelsia1 chelsia1 26-30, F 6 Responses Jan 8, 2008

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    I Kno Iz Stupid...

    i kno iz stupid but evrytime my parents start telling meh  **** i just imagine wat they wud do if i started starving myself....
    iluvnerds12 iluvnerds12 13-15, F 1 Response Mar 7, 2011

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    It Sounds Weird..

    I really hate eating sometimes.. I just feel like I'm putting on loads of weight there and then. I do love food.. but sometimes I wish I wasn't so greedy. Most of the time I eat it's because I just feel like it not because I'm hungry. Recently I have basically lost my appetite...
    BrokenAngelWishes BrokenAngelWishes 18-21, F Nov 9, 2009

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    I Hate My Eating Disorder!

    I saw this and felt really sad. I've had anorexia and bulimia for almost a year and trust me you don't want it. I'm still recovering so I'm not so full of knowledge onn an eating disorder. You loose your period, have no boobs, get tired really easily,I looked like a 9 year old...
    SaraC09 SaraC09 13-15, F 2 Responses Aug 12, 2012

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    I'm still in recovery

    and I relapsed a few times already about a week ago I think. Sometimes I want to be fully recovered and other times I never want to end my ednos. School is coming up soon and I already know what that means...at school I always skip lunch, always, and it's very rare that I eat...
    XxMisguidedxGhostxX XxMisguidedxGhostxX 13-15, F 1 Response Jul 30, 2014

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    Sometimes I Try To Be Anorexic

    I sometimes want to have full blown anorexia so that I can focus on anorexia all the time instead of me focusing on things in my past like this one guy. When I focus on not eating and feeling the hunger pains, I can escape reality for a bit. And if I am in a really bad stage of...
    reset reset 18-21, F 4 Responses Jan 23, 2012

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    "Its No Big Deal."

    Here's the thing. I love to eat but hate it at the same time. Someone once told me that they feel like a failure when they eat and i feel the exact same way! I find it so difficult to not eat. And yet difficult TO eat. I am over weight, however much i deny it. I'm 5'3 and about...
    Isabellesheart Isabellesheart 18-21, F 1 Response Apr 8, 2009

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    Im Recovered And Miss It

    ive recovered (some say you never stop recovering) from EDNOS. started at 13 ended at 16. i miss it. i miss not being able to eat; i miss seeing fat in the mirror. i miss not feeling the need to eat, the absolute anger at my body. i started college and am living in residence...
    abittobright abittobright 18-21, F Oct 16, 2013

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    I Don't Have the Will Power

    I am 20 now...  and since I was about 17, I have had a few little month or so spells where I will eat literally nothing but maybe a granola bar a day.  I will lose 15 pounds or so...  But then I get happy with the way I look, satisfied... and I...
    pinkkennel pinkkennel 18-21 1 Response Mar 29, 2009

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    It Comes and It Goes

    i'm 20 years old, 5'7" and around 140 lbs. (although that's an estimate because i really don't weigh myself) sometimes i feel pretty good about my body, and i'm happy with it. other times though, i look in the mirror and i'm like, "you are too fat!" i used to be...
    runnagirrl runnagirrl 22-25, F 1 Response Apr 3, 2008

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    Related Experiences

    His words keep floating back into my mind. How ugly I am, fat, disgusting. I don't why I listen to the man who r.aped me, but I do. Why would he go to all that trouble if I wasn't...
    betruetoyourself14 betruetoyourself14 13-15, F 4 days ago

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    It's hard to admit that I have an eating disorder. I never asked for this, and I'm sure no one ever asks for this. Overcoming my problem should be as easy as eating, but it's not...
    InsaneFlowerGirl InsaneFlowerGirl 22-25, F 1 Response 4 hrs ago

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    Who feel like everytime people finally notice that you have an eating disorder, they try to compliment you and tell you that.you lost reeeeally much just in fact to TRY to STOP YOU...
    TheBlueBee TheBlueBee 16-17, F 2 hrs ago

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    I just don't know if this makes sense to anyone else. Support appreciated. Thanks. I have an eating disorder. I have had an eating disorder off and on since I was 14 or so, maybe...
    ChantelSurvived ChantelSurvived 22-25, F 1 Response 1 day ago

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    I had an eating disorder onec or twice where I stopped eating but a little bit maybe a bit a day or nothing at all even if there was food infront of me. this would start fights...
    hellokitty206 hellokitty206 18-21, F Feb 11

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    i have a binge eating disorder. this is an eating disorder and i feel completely out of control of it. after going through a healthy weight loss i am back to binge eating and i...
    jermdbt80612 jermdbt80612 18-21, F 6 days ago

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    I feel as if I am really chubby. My family and friends say I am the right size. I have been skipping meals, and limiting calories. Then exercising even when I am sick. I end up...
    puppylove16 puppylove16 16-17, F Feb 14

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    It sucks being a transguy with an eating disorder. I get viewed as a FEMALE with an eating disorder, and I'm too socially awkward to tell them I'm a male.
    drugsandscales drugsandscales 13-15, T Feb 18

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    I fear that my boss is catching on to my eating disorder... He commented on it... In a way... Not towards me about having an eating disorder, but he notices that I don't eat much...
    MrCutBleedSmile MrCutBleedSmile 18-21, M 2 Responses 1 day ago

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    My eating disorder feels like it's coming back to me and I don't want to have it anymore.
    RedDog123321 RedDog123321 18-21, M 1 Response Feb 19

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    I have a eating disorder but I'm getting better, and eating from once or twice a day, to about 3 times a day but I'm still skinny
    dominick6 dominick6 13-15, M 1 Response a week ago

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    I have a weird eating disorder. I love to eat chalk especially after having spicy food.
    Samsalsa Samsalsa 22-25, F 1 Response Feb 7

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    I have Depersonalization Disorder for almost a year now.It never stops, I dont feel anything, my thoughts are racing In my head and I am lost all the time.It started when I was in...
    Dusan1234 Dusan1234 13-15, M 1 Response Feb 8

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    Hi,my names alex and i have schizoaffective disorder.i was working for 3 weeks as a phone operater and it didnt work out.i ended up getting to stressed out so i quit.keeping a job...
    weirdalex93 weirdalex93 22-25, F 4 Responses Feb 20

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    Just love the feeling of having to force food down my throat and then having the pains in my tummy cuz it's being stretched back to normal. Ugh! Not eating is just easier sometimes...
    jackjack600 jackjack600 18-21, F 1 Response Feb 14

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    I "miss" it sometimes. I don't want to eat today. Whenever I get depressed I miss being bulimic like I was in high school. I'm very slender, but food has always kind of scared me...
    twisteduniverse twisteduniverse 22-25, F 3 Responses Feb 12

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    Tbh I just joined this site ... So my struggle has been going on since I was little you see I was always compared or go called chubby that I began getting used to it growing up I...
    itsmagsdoe itsmagsdoe 16-17, F Feb 23

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    I've dealt with Depersonalization on and off since I was 14. I'm 22 now and it's been back since November of 2014, it's February of 2015 now and it gets overwhelming sometimes...
    CEA1992 CEA1992 22-25, F 6 Responses Feb 11

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    I get a free pizza at work... Pizza is amazing.... Until you're done eating... And then all you wanna do is cry. I'm hungry yet all I can think about is how hard im trying to...
    MrCutBleedSmile MrCutBleedSmile 18-21, M 1 Response Feb 18

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    I'm classified as overweight... I'm not sure I'll ever be happy with myself until I'm classified as underweight... Or even on the low end of the healthy weight range... I hate...
    MrCutBleedSmile MrCutBleedSmile 18-21, M 1 Response 2 days ago

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    One of my teachers pulled me aside the other day and asked if I've been eating. I'm in recovery. I don't know how to react to that.
    galaxyle galaxyle 18-21, F 1 Response 1 day ago

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    I haven't told anyone that I am doing it. I would usually be working this out with my therapist but I don't have one right now. I just want to tell someone so that I don't think I...
    untamablekitty untamablekitty 26-30, F 1 Response Feb 13

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    I have mia and Ana problems, but I have been doing better for a couple weeks. Then tonight I purged, im 135 I just want to be 110-115): anyone want to be my Ana,fit buddy?
    ahideekai1 ahideekai1 22-25, F 2 Responses Feb 24

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    One of the reasons i want to loose a crap load of weight to have a tiny wrist and wear all my favorite band with out them not fitting and feeling tight
    Millerbabe17 Millerbabe17 18-21, F Feb 13

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    I have relapsed back into anorexia/bulimia...the two crept back into my life and now worse then ever...I just want to be 103...I don't eat and if I do its healthy and exercise...