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I Sometimes Want to Have An Eating Disorder

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 130 People

    Im Recovered And Miss It

    ive recovered (some say you never stop recovering) from EDNOS. started at 13 ended at 16. i miss it. i miss not being able to eat; i miss seeing fat in the mirror. i miss not feeling the need to eat, the absolute anger at my body. i started college and am living in residence...
    abittobright abittobright 18-21, F Oct 16, 2013

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    Eating Disorders.

    I've been chubby ever since I can remember. I was never one to blame my weight on anything medical. But 2 years ago, I was diagnosed with Poly-Cystic Ovarian Syndrome and a year prior to that I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism. My doctors and I came to the conclusion that these...
    collision collision 18-21, F 6 Responses Nov 29, 2007

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    Are You Kidding Me?!!!

    Eating disorders suck major nuts. I'm fat. Really, I am. Supa chubby. And I struggle with Bulimia and Anorexic tendencies. Before this, I used to be a binge eater. So I go through binge cycles without "getting rid" of the food. I did lose some weight by starving. I mantain my way...
    CrazyHippieChick CrazyHippieChick 22-25, F 2 Responses May 30, 2011

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    I Hate My Eating Disorder!

    I saw this and felt really sad. I've had anorexia and bulimia for almost a year and trust me you don't want it. I'm still recovering so I'm not so full of knowledge onn an eating disorder. You loose your period, have no boobs, get tired really easily,I looked like a 9 year old...
    SaraC09 SaraC09 13-15, F 2 Responses Aug 12, 2012

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    I Don't Have the Will Power

    I am 20 now...  and since I was about 17, I have had a few little month or so spells where I will eat literally nothing but maybe a granola bar a day.  I will lose 15 pounds or so...  But then I get happy with the way I look, satisfied... and I...
    pinkkennel pinkkennel 18-21 1 Response Mar 29, 2009

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    Obsessed

    I am obsessed with eating disorders. I love anything relating to ana, mia, or obese people. I have the movie/documentary "Thin" and I watch it all the time. Anything that has to do with models I love. I even watch discovery health on obese people to see what they go through.
    chelsia1 chelsia1 26-30, F 6 Responses Jan 8, 2008

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    Wimp

    I tried to throw up but I chickened out. I'm really disappointed with myself right now...
    LeniGail LeniGail 13-15, F 1 Response Jun 6, 2013

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    "Its No Big Deal."

    Here's the thing. I love to eat but hate it at the same time. Someone once told me that they feel like a failure when they eat and i feel the exact same way! I find it so difficult to not eat. And yet difficult TO eat. I am over weight, however much i deny it. I'm 5'3 and about...
    Isabellesheart Isabellesheart 18-21, F 1 Response Apr 8, 2009

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    As Horrible As That Is To Say

    I'm fat. Against my will.Because of an endocrine disorder I have, my body is under the impression that I am in a condition of famine. Therefore- I gain weight SUPER easily no matter how healthy I eat, and if I starve myself, my body holds tight to the existing fat I carry. I am...
    SpiritOfTheRabbit SpiritOfTheRabbit 31-35, F 6 Responses Jun 6, 2011

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    ??

    sometimes i would rather go through a eating disorder than to be called and look and feel fat . this extra 30lbs sucks . i wonder how fast i could lose 30lbs by puking ??
    bandgeek2 bandgeek2 16-17, F 1 Response Apr 18, 2012

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    It Comes and It Goes

    i'm 20 years old, 5'7" and around 140 lbs. (although that's an estimate because i really don't weigh myself) sometimes i feel pretty good about my body, and i'm happy with it. other times though, i look in the mirror and i'm like, "you are too fat!" i used to be...
    runnagirrl runnagirrl 22-25, F 1 Response Apr 3, 2008

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    I'm still in recovery

    and I relapsed a few times already about a week ago I think. Sometimes I want to be fully recovered and other times I never want to end my ednos. School is coming up soon and I already know what that means...at school I always skip lunch, always, and it's very rare that I eat...
    XxBadXVibesxX XxBadXVibesxX 13-15, F 1 Response Jul 30

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    I Kno Iz Stupid...

    i kno iz stupid but evrytime my parents start telling meh  **** i just imagine wat they wud do if i started starving myself....
    iluvnerds12 iluvnerds12 13-15, F 2 Responses Mar 7, 2011

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    Real Bad Sometimes

    I am 5'2" and I weigh about 155.  I have hypothyroidism so I gain weight really easily and have a horrible time losing becusae dieting just makes me sleepy.  It seems like I could lose if i could be anorexic, nervous like they are so I would be awake and obsessive...
    alisheaskylar alisheaskylar 26-30, F Aug 12, 2008

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    It Sounds Weird..

    I really hate eating sometimes.. I just feel like I'm putting on loads of weight there and then. I do love food.. but sometimes I wish I wasn't so greedy. Most of the time I eat it's because I just feel like it not because I'm hungry. Recently I have basically lost my appetite...
    BrokenAngelWishes BrokenAngelWishes 18-21, F Nov 9, 2009

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    Do I Have An Eating Disorder?

    I'm really not sure. In school I wouldn't eat anything, but then I would get home and eat a little bit of everything. I would kind of feel bad about it because I really hated my thighs, and I wanted to have stick legs like every other girl at school. I went through something...
    LeniGail LeniGail 13-15, F 3 Responses Jun 6, 2013

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    *gasp* How'd That Finger End Up Down My Throat?...

    Sometimes I think it would just be sooooo much easier to just make myself puke instead of hating myself for being fat. I've done some eating disorder-ish things before. I've starved myself for a week here and there, I've eaten next to nothing for a couple months, I've taken...
    Warmthoughtsofyou04 Warmthoughtsofyou04 26-30, F 2 Responses Jun 7, 2008

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    Sometimes I Try To Be Anorexic

    I sometimes want to have full blown anorexia so that I can focus on anorexia all the time instead of me focusing on things in my past like this one guy. When I focus on not eating and feeling the hunger pains, I can escape reality for a bit. And if I am in a really bad stage of...
    reset reset 18-21, F 4 Responses Jan 23, 2012

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    Related Experiences

    The urges are coming back stronger than ever and I'm going back to what I was doing before. I have 3 types of eating disorders, B.E.D (binge eating disorder) Anorexia, and bulimia...
    XxBadXVibesxX XxBadXVibesxX 13-15, F Sep 13

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    I don't know exactly what kind of disorder I have. Or if you can even call it that. Sometimes I have it and other times I can block it all out. But it always comes crawling back. I...
    candellightloveletters candellightloveletters 18-21, F 5 days ago

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    I secretly suffer from bulimia, i am not skinny or average weight I am over weight and I'm not stupid, I know that having an eating disorder is horrible. I know that I should...
    falloutsarah falloutsarah 13-15, F 3 days ago

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    I've had an eating disorder in the past (November 2013 till June 2014) and just as I started to think I could just have a normal life again, the voices came back and everything...
    liana10 liana10 13-15, F Sep 2

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    Can you ask me stuff on ask.fm my username is skinnydream_123. The link is http://ask.fm/skinnydream_123 thankyou. Preferably eating disorder related questions
    oliviiaxo oliviiaxo 16-17, F Sep 7

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    I think i might have an eating disorder. I puke up my food. I cry after I eat. And I starve myself. I'm too afraid to admit the truth to myself.
    sydthekid15 sydthekid15 13-15, F Sep 11

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    So for the past couple of years, (2011-now) i would go to school and just push through without eating, and by my last year in school I wasn't eating everyday, I could go the day...
    TaylaT21 TaylaT21 18-21, F 1 Response Sep 2

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    Ugh I don't know. Before you read this I'm just letting you know that I really hate the word "trigger" it's very misused and it makes me angry. So when I use this word, I am being...
    disasterland disasterland 18-21, F 5 Responses Sep 5

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    i ******* hate how i cant eat whatever i want cause ana controls me every damn time and sometimes im sick of it. but i still have lose a **** ton of weight. fml.
    skeletora skeletora 13-15, F Sep 12

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    i used to be really skinny, but now im so fat and cant stop eating im so depressed
    alm2511 alm2511 16-17 1 Response 3 days ago

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    I have all 3:/ and I stopped myself from starving, binging, and purging about two months ago and I was doing well and my body image was getting better..until tonight. I was eating...
    XxBadXVibesxX XxBadXVibesxX 13-15, F 1 Response 5 days ago

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    I don't want to starve, purge, eat compulsively, or to make things easier, I don't want to eat anymore! I don't want to do anything anymore! I just want to sit in my room, lights...
    XxBadXVibesxX XxBadXVibesxX 13-15, F Sep 14

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    i was always sad and angry when i was a kid and thought of suicide has been constantly on my mind. the earliest i can remember i can remember was when i was 9 years old. i don't...
    bhabhablacksheep bhabhablacksheep 22-25, F 1 Response Sep 1

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    If you are currently recovering, I just want to let you know that you are so brave and so strong for concurring this, it might take time but you are doing so so well right now, don...
    AIiviah AIiviah 13-15, F 2 Responses Sep 6

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    I want a friend that understands what I'm going through. Someone that shares the same experience as me as sad as it sounds.
    KyleeNichole94 KyleeNichole94 18-21, F 2 Responses Sep 7

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    I'm trying so hard to get better...not jut for me, but those around me as well. The only problem is that every time I eat an actual meal...I feel like I'm going to be sick. I just...
    jackjack600 jackjack600 18-21, F Sep 12

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    My problem is I just love food too much..but I also want to lose weight, I just don't know how to do it properly and I keep coming back to this.
    GreenLeaf1025 GreenLeaf1025 13-15, F Sep 13

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    Anyone want to do the abc diet with me?I'm starting tomorrow
    Maria134747 Maria134747 13-15, F 2 Responses Sep 13

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    People call me fat but when I don't eat they criticize me. Wtf. It's my body, my choice, I can to whatever I want with it!
    XxBadXVibesxX XxBadXVibesxX 13-15, F Sep 14

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    I either don't eat for weeks or I eat so much and throw it up. I've tried to break the habit dozens if times and I give up. I don't know what to do anymore. And honestly I don't...
    Justanothergirl2000 Justanothergirl2000 13-15, F Sep 15

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    I lost 20 pounds doing the abc diet but now I want to do the skinny girl diet so I won't gain all my weight back anyone want to be buddies?
    Maria134747 Maria134747 13-15, F 1 Response Sep 17

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    I have decided to choose the Pro Ana lifestyle. I will finally be happy.
    Kelnea Kelnea 13-15, F 2 Responses Sep 7

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    Hey x just kinda felt that i needed to post this too kinda get it of my head ! i'm going to see my therapist tomorrow and kinda need advise !! Basically i see her as i have been...
    ZannaHuth98 ZannaHuth98 16-17, F 1 Response Sep 9

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    I have to starve myself. But everytime I try to at school my friends force me to eat. And I cat throw up at school without someone finding out. What do I do I need to starve. I...
    Kelnea Kelnea 13-15, F 2 Responses Sep 16

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    Down another 5 pounds...don't have much more loose
    jackjack600 jackjack600 18-21, F 6 days ago

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    I'm so sorry. I was gaining and loving it for about 6 days I think I gained about 4 pounds, and I was already loosing muscle but then my dad, starts verbally abusing me about it...
    Fatteristheshit Fatteristheshit 18-21, F 7 Responses 4 days ago

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    I think it's time for me to come out and admit this. I was diagnosed at 17 with Schizoaffective Disorder. I don't like to talk about it much because it's very personal and it tends...
    Shinook26 Shinook26 26-30, M 2 Responses Sep 6

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    I decided to say my story about my Depersonalization Disorder. I began to be really depressed when i moved away from my family and really good friends. I got into this horrible...
    A0927T A0927T 16-17, F 1 Response Sep 22

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    I suffer from anxiety disorder from my teens and the doctors told me that i had anxiety depression years and years i was taking drugs for depression in the end my brain analyse...
    blackweirdcat blackweirdcat 46-50, F Sep 10

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    I wish I had a sex drive. I have somehow recovered from depersonalization/ derealization disorder and feel really good, except I still don't seem to have a sex drive. I want to...
    reenab29 reenab29 18-21, F Sep 2

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    Sometimes i feel like everyone is looking at me......
    animelover1990 animelover1990 22-25, F 1 Response Sep 16

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