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I Sometimes Want to Have An Eating Disorder

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 125 People

    I Don't Have the Will Power

    I am 20 now...  and since I was about 17, I have had a few little month or so spells where I will eat literally nothing but maybe a granola bar a day.  I will lose 15 pounds or so...  But then I get happy with the way I look, satisfied... and I...
    pinkkennel pinkkennel 18-21 1 Response Mar 29, 2009

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    Do I Have An Eating Disorder?

    I'm really not sure. In school I wouldn't eat anything, but then I would get home and eat a little bit of everything. I would kind of feel bad about it because I really hated my thighs, and I wanted to have stick legs like every other girl at school. I went through something...
    LeniGail LeniGail 13-15, F 3 Responses Jun 6, 2013

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    Sometimes I Try To Be Anorexic

    I sometimes want to have full blown anorexia so that I can focus on anorexia all the time instead of me focusing on things in my past like this one guy. When I focus on not eating and feeling the hunger pains, I can escape reality for a bit. And if I am in a really bad stage of...
    reset reset 18-21, F 4 Responses Jan 23, 2012

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    *gasp* How'd That Finger End Up Down My Throat?...

    Sometimes I think it would just be sooooo much easier to just make myself puke instead of hating myself for being fat. I've done some eating disorder-ish things before. I've starved myself for a week here and there, I've eaten next to nothing for a couple months, I've taken...
    Warmthoughtsofyou04 Warmthoughtsofyou04 26-30, F 2 Responses Jun 7, 2008

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    Wimp

    I tried to throw up but I chickened out. I'm really disappointed with myself right now...
    LeniGail LeniGail 13-15, F 1 Response Jun 6, 2013

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    Are You Kidding Me?!!!

    Eating disorders suck major nuts. I'm fat. Really, I am. Supa chubby. And I struggle with Bulimia and Anorexic tendencies. Before this, I used to be a binge eater. So I go through binge cycles without "getting rid" of the food. I did lose some weight by starving. I mantain my way...
    CrazyHippieChick CrazyHippieChick 18-21, F 2 Responses May 30, 2011

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    Eating Disorders.

    I've been chubby ever since I can remember. I was never one to blame my weight on anything medical. But 2 years ago, I was diagnosed with Poly-Cystic Ovarian Syndrome and a year prior to that I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism. My doctors and I came to the conclusion that these...
    collision collision 18-21, F 6 Responses Nov 29, 2007

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    "Its No Big Deal."

    Here's the thing. I love to eat but hate it at the same time. Someone once told me that they feel like a failure when they eat and i feel the exact same way! I find it so difficult to not eat. And yet difficult TO eat. I am over weight, however much i deny it. I'm 5'3 and about...
    Isabellesheart Isabellesheart 18-21, F 1 Response Apr 8, 2009

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    Im Recovered And Miss It

    ive recovered (some say you never stop recovering) from EDNOS. started at 13 ended at 16. i miss it. i miss not being able to eat; i miss seeing fat in the mirror. i miss not feeling the need to eat, the absolute anger at my body. i started college and am living in residence...
    abittobright abittobright 18-21, F Oct 16, 2013

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    As Horrible As That Is To Say

    I'm fat. Against my will.Because of an endocrine disorder I have, my body is under the impression that I am in a condition of famine. Therefore- I gain weight SUPER easily no matter how healthy I eat, and if I starve myself, my body holds tight to the existing fat I carry. I am...
    SpiritOfTheRabbit SpiritOfTheRabbit 31-35, F 6 Responses Jun 6, 2011

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    I Kno Iz Stupid...

    i kno iz stupid but evrytime my parents start telling meh  **** i just imagine wat they wud do if i started starving myself....
    iluvnerds12 iluvnerds12 13-15, F 2 Responses Mar 7, 2011

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    It Comes and It Goes

    i'm 20 years old, 5'7" and around 140 lbs. (although that's an estimate because i really don't weigh myself) sometimes i feel pretty good about my body, and i'm happy with it. other times though, i look in the mirror and i'm like, "you are too fat!" i used to be...
    runnagirrl runnagirrl 22-25, F 1 Response Apr 3, 2008

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    Real Bad Sometimes

    I am 5'2" and I weigh about 155.  I have hypothyroidism so I gain weight really easily and have a horrible time losing becusae dieting just makes me sleepy.  It seems like I could lose if i could be anorexic, nervous like they are so I would be awake and obsessive...
    alisheaskylar alisheaskylar 26-30, F Aug 12, 2008

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    It Sounds Weird..

    I really hate eating sometimes.. I just feel like I'm putting on loads of weight there and then. I do love food.. but sometimes I wish I wasn't so greedy. Most of the time I eat it's because I just feel like it not because I'm hungry. Recently I have basically lost my appetite...
    BrokenAngelWishes BrokenAngelWishes 18-21, F Nov 9, 2009

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    Obsessed

    I am obsessed with eating disorders. I love anything relating to ana, mia, or obese people. I have the movie/documentary "Thin" and I watch it all the time. Anything that has to do with models I love. I even watch discovery health on obese people to see what they go through.
    chelsia1 chelsia1 26-30, F 6 Responses Jan 8, 2008

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    I Hate My Eating Disorder!

    I saw this and felt really sad. I've had anorexia and bulimia for almost a year and trust me you don't want it. I'm still recovering so I'm not so full of knowledge onn an eating disorder. You loose your period, have no boobs, get tired really easily,I looked like a 9 year old...
    SaraC09 SaraC09 13-15, F 1 Response Aug 12, 2012

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    ??

    sometimes i would rather go through a eating disorder than to be called and look and feel fat . this extra 30lbs sucks . i wonder how fast i could lose 30lbs by puking ??
    bandgeek2 bandgeek2 16-17, F 1 Response Apr 18, 2012

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    Related Experiences

    .I'm 16, going into my junior year of highschool and I just want to be normal. I have been living with what I now realize is binge eating disorder for 2-3 years now and its been a...
    jezziw98 jezziw98 16-17, F 1 Response 16 hrs ago

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    I'm too fat to have an eating disorder they said. People. But I don't eat. And an eating disorder is not something on the outside. Well it may show but it's still all just in your...
    paradiseisbroken paradiseisbroken 13-15, F Jul 10

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    I had a letter come through the post yesterday morning from the eating disorder clinic. I have to see them on 24th July. I'm really nervous and really embarrassed about my eating...
    BeautyOfSuffering BeautyOfSuffering 22-25, F 2 Responses Jul 12

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    I've always had an issue when it comes to food, as long as I've lived I've been a really fussy eater. About two years ago I was deliberately starving myself, and over exercising...
    Ballet16 Ballet16 18-21, F 1 Response Jun 25

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    I don't know of this is really an eating disorder, but... I lose my appetite sometimes for days at a stretch and can only really eat one meal in the day and sometimes I don't eat...
    Loner1990 Loner1990 22-25, M 2 Responses Jul 13

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    Hey guys :) my name is Chelsea. My anorexia began when I was in the 9th grade. I realized that I couldn't do what everyone else could do with my disability and for me my eating...
    the1andonlyChelsChels the1andonlyChelsChels 18-21, F Jun 30

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    I'm scared i may become anorexic, or have a type of eating disorder. I'm not naturally super skinny but i am "skinny". I have muscly thighs so they are not tiny. I'm confident in...
    blankaspaper blankaspaper 13-15, F Jun 29

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    Stay away from eating disorders and prevent them when you can! They will basically destroy your life, your relationships with friends, love, and family, your body, your mind, YOU...
    starsarediamonds starsarediamonds 13-15, F Jul 7

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    A few months ago, this would have said I HAD an eating disorder.... I guess I would call it a relapse. I cook a lot, for other people. I love to cook. I just... hate to eat. I...
    xoxomaya93 xoxomaya93 18-21, F 2 Responses Jul 7

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    i have an eating disorder.....but ive only got like this because i want to lose weight thats all i ever think about if i do eat something..... the doctors say i could become very...
    blackrose256 blackrose256 13-15, F 2 Responses Jun 22

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    I'm not sure if this would truly be considered an eating disorder, but I WANT to gain weight. I eat a lot, have no problem with eating as much as I want but at the same time I have...
    n0ceur n0ceur 18-21, F Jul 7

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    It is absolutely a nightmare to have an eating disorder, it's as if it drags you over and over and over again whenever you try to recover. Recovery is difficult but not impossible...
    Angelanorexic Angelanorexic 18-21, F Jul 13

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    so I'm not sure if people would think that I have an eating disorder but I restrict what I eat often and I skip meals like lunch and breakfast and I track how many calories I eat...
    aflurryofemotions aflurryofemotions 13-15, F 1 Response Jun 24

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    I'm currently blogging about my daily battles with my eating disorder and my other mental health problems such as my borderline personality disorder. I try to update it regularly...
    BeautyOfSuffering BeautyOfSuffering 22-25, F Jul 12

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    I'm really not sure what to say. It started really slowly. On days that I had somewhere to go and I was wearing something form fitting, I wouldn't eat until I got home into my...
    SophiaMadelineRose SophiaMadelineRose 22-25, F 1 Response Jun 29

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    People have different reasons for the cause of their eating disorders. Mine is from being depressed about my life. I can't help but think that my youth has been a waste. I want to...
    cringing cringing 16-17, F Jul 8

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    Having an eating disorder is so hard, as soon as you start to recover and actually feel better about yourself there's always one thing that triggers you and knocks you down from...
    somewhatbored somewhatbored 16-17, F Jun 26

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    I overcame a severe eating disorder and I've been healthy since January 2011 and now I compete in fitness competitions. If anyone is struggling or needs help or support I'm here to...
    TitsMGee84 TitsMGee84 26-30, F 1 Response a week ago

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    I hate it. I constantly am striving to avoid food, but I always end up screwing everything up. Then I purge. It just goes like that every day, over and over and over. I can't tell...
    wannabeweightless wannabeweightless 13-15, F 5 days ago

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    I thought I defeated my eating disorder, i used to starve until I've lost about 10 kg I mean I'm trying to eat better, but today I ate something different from what I eat everyday...
    brzdreamer brzdreamer 16-17, F 1 Response 5 days ago

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    I can now honestly say I'm fully recovered from anorexia, bulimia and selfharm. I have had these problems since I was in P6 at school so around 10 years old. I'm now 17, the last 7...
    oliviiaxo oliviiaxo 16-17, F 1 Response Jul 6

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    Is it possible to have a eating disorder and have a normal weight? some days I eat hardly anything and their are some days I eat everything in sight but I'm normal weight I lost 15...
    booboo157 booboo157 16-17, F 2 Responses Jul 9

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    I think i have ednos. (Eating disorder not otherwise specified) as you know i have body image priblems. But what you dont know is that im restricting fiod quite alot. But idk i...
    majahi majahi 13-15, F 5 days ago

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    I have bipolar disorder 1 & adult ADHD combined type. I'm 27, married 7 year son& 6 year stepdaughter. My life seems normal.... On the outside. On the inside it's turmoil...
    mrojas27 mrojas27 26-30, F 1 Response Jun 28

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    Type II (that Ii in the title just bugs me) Yeah so I don't get crazy manic very often, just hypomanic from time to time, but when I do depression, oh I do it well. Deep deep...
    ThePeach ThePeach 26-30, F 1 Response Jul 14

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    I feel so confused most days, I just don't feel like im really here, I feel like Im in a movie watching myself or something. I don't know it's weird, I feel disconnected from my...
    silentgirl1234 silentgirl1234 13-15, F 2 Responses Jul 3

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    my names Alex and i have schizoaffective disorder. you can message me if you want. here is my youtube chanel if anyone if feeling lonely. :) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v...
    cutealex21 cutealex21 18-21, F 2 Responses 3 days ago

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    UK SUFFERERS - PLEASE GET IN CONTACT! So, I've never really wanted to write my story. Not because I am afraid or ashamed, but because I am so bored of talking about it, it makes...
    scharx scharx 18-21 Jul 1

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    UK SUFFERERS - PLEASE GET IN CONTACT! So, I've never really wanted to write my story. Not because I am afraid or ashamed, but because I am so bored of talking about it, it makes...
    scharx scharx 18-21 1 Response Jul 1

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    It started when people in my school started calling me fat , so i started to diet but then i started eating less and less , then i completely stopped eating , i started exercising...
    Theworldismyhell Theworldismyhell 18-21, F Jul 6

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    over a year ago i was in a really bad place. i hated myself and everyone around me, i was really depressed and i struggled with bulimia. the bulimia was not that bad and i got...
    littlemeonly littlemeonly 13-15, F 3 Responses 5 days ago

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