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I Sometimes Want to Have An Eating Disorder

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 129 People

    *gasp* How'd That Finger End Up Down My Throat?...

    Sometimes I think it would just be sooooo much easier to just make myself puke instead of hating myself for being fat. I've done some eating disorder-ish things before. I've starved myself for a week here and there, I've eaten next to nothing for a couple months, I've taken...
    Warmthoughtsofyou04 Warmthoughtsofyou04 26-30, F 2 Responses Jun 7, 2008

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    Eating Disorders.

    I've been chubby ever since I can remember. I was never one to blame my weight on anything medical. But 2 years ago, I was diagnosed with Poly-Cystic Ovarian Syndrome and a year prior to that I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism. My doctors and I came to the conclusion that these...
    collision collision 18-21, F 6 Responses Nov 29, 2007

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    It Comes and It Goes

    i'm 20 years old, 5'7" and around 140 lbs. (although that's an estimate because i really don't weigh myself) sometimes i feel pretty good about my body, and i'm happy with it. other times though, i look in the mirror and i'm like, "you are too fat!" i used to be...
    runnagirrl runnagirrl 22-25, F 1 Response Apr 3, 2008

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    Do I Have An Eating Disorder?

    I'm really not sure. In school I wouldn't eat anything, but then I would get home and eat a little bit of everything. I would kind of feel bad about it because I really hated my thighs, and I wanted to have stick legs like every other girl at school. I went through something...
    LeniGail LeniGail 13-15, F 3 Responses Jun 6, 2013

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    Sometimes I Try To Be Anorexic

    I sometimes want to have full blown anorexia so that I can focus on anorexia all the time instead of me focusing on things in my past like this one guy. When I focus on not eating and feeling the hunger pains, I can escape reality for a bit. And if I am in a really bad stage of...
    reset reset 18-21, F 4 Responses Jan 23, 2012

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    ??

    sometimes i would rather go through a eating disorder than to be called and look and feel fat . this extra 30lbs sucks . i wonder how fast i could lose 30lbs by puking ??
    bandgeek2 bandgeek2 16-17, F 1 Response Apr 18, 2012

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    I Kno Iz Stupid...

    i kno iz stupid but evrytime my parents start telling meh  **** i just imagine wat they wud do if i started starving myself....
    iluvnerds12 iluvnerds12 13-15, F 2 Responses Mar 7, 2011

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    Real Bad Sometimes

    I am 5'2" and I weigh about 155.  I have hypothyroidism so I gain weight really easily and have a horrible time losing becusae dieting just makes me sleepy.  It seems like I could lose if i could be anorexic, nervous like they are so I would be awake and obsessive...
    alisheaskylar alisheaskylar 26-30, F Aug 12, 2008

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    Obsessed

    I am obsessed with eating disorders. I love anything relating to ana, mia, or obese people. I have the movie/documentary "Thin" and I watch it all the time. Anything that has to do with models I love. I even watch discovery health on obese people to see what they go through.
    chelsia1 chelsia1 26-30, F 6 Responses Jan 8, 2008

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    I Don't Have the Will Power

    I am 20 now...  and since I was about 17, I have had a few little month or so spells where I will eat literally nothing but maybe a granola bar a day.  I will lose 15 pounds or so...  But then I get happy with the way I look, satisfied... and I...
    pinkkennel pinkkennel 18-21 1 Response Mar 29, 2009

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    Im Recovered And Miss It

    ive recovered (some say you never stop recovering) from EDNOS. started at 13 ended at 16. i miss it. i miss not being able to eat; i miss seeing fat in the mirror. i miss not feeling the need to eat, the absolute anger at my body. i started college and am living in residence...
    abittobright abittobright 18-21, F Oct 16, 2013

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    Wimp

    I tried to throw up but I chickened out. I'm really disappointed with myself right now...
    LeniGail LeniGail 13-15, F 1 Response Jun 6, 2013

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    "Its No Big Deal."

    Here's the thing. I love to eat but hate it at the same time. Someone once told me that they feel like a failure when they eat and i feel the exact same way! I find it so difficult to not eat. And yet difficult TO eat. I am over weight, however much i deny it. I'm 5'3 and about...
    Isabellesheart Isabellesheart 18-21, F 1 Response Apr 8, 2009

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    Are You Kidding Me?!!!

    Eating disorders suck major nuts. I'm fat. Really, I am. Supa chubby. And I struggle with Bulimia and Anorexic tendencies. Before this, I used to be a binge eater. So I go through binge cycles without "getting rid" of the food. I did lose some weight by starving. I mantain my way...
    CrazyHippieChick CrazyHippieChick 18-21, F 2 Responses May 30, 2011

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    I Hate My Eating Disorder!

    I saw this and felt really sad. I've had anorexia and bulimia for almost a year and trust me you don't want it. I'm still recovering so I'm not so full of knowledge onn an eating disorder. You loose your period, have no boobs, get tired really easily,I looked like a 9 year old...
    SaraC09 SaraC09 13-15, F 1 Response Aug 12, 2012

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    I'm still in recovery

    and I relapsed a few times already about a week ago I think. Sometimes I want to be fully recovered and other times I never want to end my ednos. School is coming up soon and I already know what that means...at school I always skip lunch, always, and it's very rare that I eat...
    BrokenBellaBixtch BrokenBellaBixtch 13-15, F 1 Response Jul 30

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    It Sounds Weird..

    I really hate eating sometimes.. I just feel like I'm putting on loads of weight there and then. I do love food.. but sometimes I wish I wasn't so greedy. Most of the time I eat it's because I just feel like it not because I'm hungry. Recently I have basically lost my appetite...
    BrokenAngelWishes BrokenAngelWishes 18-21, F Nov 9, 2009

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    As Horrible As That Is To Say

    I'm fat. Against my will.Because of an endocrine disorder I have, my body is under the impression that I am in a condition of famine. Therefore- I gain weight SUPER easily no matter how healthy I eat, and if I starve myself, my body holds tight to the existing fat I carry. I am...
    SpiritOfTheRabbit SpiritOfTheRabbit 31-35, F 6 Responses Jun 6, 2011

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    Related Experiences

    I've been eating about 500 calories a day, but I throw a lot of it up. I'm not pro ana, because I haven't been losing a lot of weight, I'm just tired of being fat.
    101worthless101 101worthless101 13-15, F 2 Responses Jul 27

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    Gosh! Where to begin? So it’s fair to say that I haven’t been suffering for as long as some people with their eating disorders but I can’t dismiss the fact that I HAVE been...
    Thatgirl889 Thatgirl889 16-17, F 1 Response Aug 5

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    When I first entered this site and looked for eating disorder support and help I came across some entries. All of the responses were for 'pro-mia pro-ana' ........ Can I please...
    caitcaitc caitcaitc 18-21, F Aug 14

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    I can remember the moment and day when I was 15 years old and started my long journey with anorexia and bulimia the same way an alcoholic can remember their first drink. I started...
    scmichelle051 scmichelle051 31-35, F 1 Response Aug 2

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    So basically i have an eating disorder and i think my teacher was figuring out that i had one and i need to know if you guys think that he started to figure it out or not. At lunch...
    flowerqueenx flowerqueenx 13-15, F 2 Responses 1 day ago

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    Three years ago I developed an eating disorder. I barely ate anything and lost 10 kg. Then after a while I started bingeing and purging and gained back weight. I really wanted to...
    irisjuuu irisjuuu 18-21, F 1 Response Jul 24

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    I grew up with a mother who has slowly become morbidly obese. All my life she was overweight but as I grew older I began to notice just how overweight she was becoming. My dad is...
    tracy1990 tracy1990 22-25, F Jul 24

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    I was looking through some old pictures, deleting a lot of them and I saw how thin I was in my prime... Gah. I always aspired to be thinspo lol and it looks like I am, for myself...
    KilljoyKitty KilljoyKitty 18-21, F 2 Responses Aug 5

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    .I'm 16, going into my junior year of highschool and I just want to be normal. I have been living with what I now realize is binge eating disorder for 2-3 years now and its been a...
    jezziw98 jezziw98 16-17, F 1 Response Jul 22

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    Anorexia and bulimia seemed so distant to me when I was growing up. It seemed completely irrational to me that someone could just not eat, and puking seemed impossible to force...
    rachelthedreamer rachelthedreamer 16-17, F Jul 27

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    I'm not sure where to start, but I guess I'll start off by saying I'm positive I have Depersonalization Disorder, but I am not officially diagnosed. I would like to share my...
    faithinmyself faithinmyself 16-17, F 1 Response Aug 9

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    Each day more n more i think about it i think im starting to get my eating disorder again i feel so worthless and disgusting,self hate i feel like i don't want to be strong i don't...
    desitor desitor 16-17, F Aug 11

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    exercising because I want to. Not because I want to lose weight. I will not let my eating disorder control me
    disasterland disasterland 18-21, F 2 Responses Aug 12

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    Message me if you want to chat, if anyone's going through/been through an eating disorder I'd appreciate talking to someone who understands
    justsmile1990 justsmile1990 18-21, F 3 Responses Aug 13

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    Having an eating disorder and hearing people constantly nagging you to "just eat" really sucks.
    bibaaa bibaaa 16-17, F 4 Responses 1 day ago

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    I would love to give a big ef' you to all of the people in my life who ever believed I developed an eating disorder for attention. 20 years later, I guess I must have not achieved...
    staleMommyof4 staleMommyof4 31-35, F 22 hrs ago

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    I'm a very level headed teenager. And then I got told I had an eating disorder and now it controls my life... Every day I think about food constantly, I don't eat it but I...
    justsmile1990 justsmile1990 18-21, F 3 Responses Aug 13

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    During my sophomore year of high school I suffered from ENDOS. In my sophomore year, I realized that I wasn't happy with my body, and I was gonna do something about it. It...
    rumblingheart rumblingheart 16-17, F 4 days ago

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    Worst part of my disorder is that i feel i have to socially isolate myself to protect the disorder. Its painful 😔
    7405me 7405me 18-21, F Jul 28

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    I get so scared of gaining weight. And I've been told many times by my step mom that I am fat. I used to think I was so pretty. I didn't think I was fat. I actually looked very...
    AshLovesLink AshLovesLink 16-17, F 2 Responses Aug 12

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    .. I'm so used to saying that "something is wrong with my stomach, I just can't hold food down".. For years that I think I actually believed it. Realizing recently that I don't...
    YupThatsMee YupThatsMee 22-25, F Jul 31

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    My mom asked why I looked so pale I'm like ummmm not staying in the sun then she's like no have u been eating I'm like uhhhh ya duh she looked at me and said what u want for dinner...
    Sprinklesnstuff Sprinklesnstuff 13-15, M 5 Responses Aug 6

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    When and why did eating become so hard? :/
    jackjack600 jackjack600 18-21, F 1 Response Jul 27

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    Does anyone else always feel guilty every night at this time after eating and worry about how many calories and weight gain! Just wanna be skinny
    redheadxx redheadxx 18-21, F 5 Responses Jul 29

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    I recovered for a while, but emotionally and mentally I felt much more out of control and it wasn't really worth it, I've stopped eating again, and things seem to be much better...
    reachingforthesun reachingforthesun 16-17, F Aug 6

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    I feel so fcken fat like no joke i seriously need to stop eating fml
    desitor desitor 16-17, F 3 Responses Aug 10

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    I'm freaked out that I'm eating too much sugar.
    disasterland disasterland 18-21, F 2 Responses 4 days ago

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    I know I have a problem, but how do I get over it? Advice would be appreciated. I am morbidly obese. I weigh 340 pounds and I am 5'10. I am not your typical fat girl though. I...
    BlueHeartSong BlueHeartSong 22-25, F 4 Responses Aug 4

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    Tired of seeing dumb *** "pro Ana" "pro Mia" people on here. Like seriously, why do you want a ******* disease? If you want it so bad, please take mine. Give give my arm away to...
    disasterland disasterland 18-21, F 2 Responses 2 days ago

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    Okay , it's been so long I didn't write anything , so I thought I would just update it up a little bit with what's happening with me nowadays. It's been like five months now I...
    CrushednBroken CrushednBroken 26-30, F 2 Responses Jul 29

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    I am struggling....I don't know how to get better but I want to. I'm embarrassed...ashamed...I feel stuck. Is there anyone out there who has been where I am that can give me some...
    positivefemale positivefemale 18-21, F 3 Responses Jul 30

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