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I Sometimes Want to Have An Eating Disorder

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 174 People

    Are You Kidding Me?!!!

    Eating disorders suck major nuts. I'm fat. Really, I am. Supa chubby. And I struggle with Bulimia and Anorexic tendencies. Before this, I used to be a binge eater. So I go through binge cycles without "getting rid" of the food. I did lose some weight by starving. I mantain my way...
    CrazyHippieChick CrazyHippieChick 22-25 3 Responses May 30, 2011

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    Im Recovered And Miss It

    ive recovered (some say you never stop recovering) from EDNOS. started at 13 ended at 16. i miss it. i miss not being able to eat; i miss seeing fat in the mirror. i miss not feeling the need to eat, the absolute anger at my body. i started college and am living in residence...
    abittobright abittobright 18-21, F Oct 16, 2013

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    It Sounds Weird..

    I really hate eating sometimes.. I just feel like I'm putting on loads of weight there and then. I do love food.. but sometimes I wish I wasn't so greedy. Most of the time I eat it's because I just feel like it not because I'm hungry. Recently I have basically lost my appetite...
    BrokenAngelWishes BrokenAngelWishes 18-21, F Nov 9, 2009

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    It Comes and It Goes

    i'm 20 years old, 5'7" and around 140 lbs. (although that's an estimate because i really don't weigh myself) sometimes i feel pretty good about my body, and i'm happy with it. other times though, i look in the mirror and i'm like, "you are too fat!" i used to be...
    runnagirrl runnagirrl 22-25, F 1 Response Apr 3, 2008

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    i had/have an eating disorder

    for about 6yrs, but the worst times were about 4yrs ago. it was a prison. i never went out because i thought i was ugly & that everything made my fat hang. i weighed myself at least 15 times in one day everyday. i lived in front of the mirror & exercising excessively in my room...
    screambloodygore screambloodygore 26-30, F 1 Response Jun 30

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    I Hate My Eating Disorder!

    I saw this and felt really sad. I've had anorexia and bulimia for almost a year and trust me you don't want it. I'm still recovering so I'm not so full of knowledge onn an eating disorder. You loose your period, have no boobs, get tired really easily,I looked like a 9 year old...
    SaraC09 SaraC09 13-15, F 2 Responses Aug 12, 2012

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    I Don't Have the Will Power

    I am 20 now...  and since I was about 17, I have had a few little month or so spells where I will eat literally nothing but maybe a granola bar a day.  I will lose 15 pounds or so...  But then I get happy with the way I look, satisfied... and I...
    pinkkennel pinkkennel 18-21 1 Response Mar 29, 2009

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    I Kno Iz Stupid...

    i kno iz stupid but evrytime my parents start telling meh  **** i just imagine wat they wud do if i started starving myself....
    iluvnerds12 iluvnerds12 13-15, F 1 Response Mar 7, 2011

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    *gasp* How'd That Finger End Up Down My Throat?...

    Sometimes I think it would just be sooooo much easier to just make myself puke instead of hating myself for being fat. I've done some eating disorder-ish things before. I've starved myself for a week here and there, I've eaten next to nothing for a couple months, I've taken...
    Warmthoughtsofyou04 Warmthoughtsofyou04 26-30, F 2 Responses Jun 7, 2008

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    Wimp

    I tried to throw up but I chickened out. I'm really disappointed with myself right now...
    LeniGail LeniGail 16-17, F 2 Responses Jun 6, 2013

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    Real Bad Sometimes

    I am 5'2" and I weigh about 155.  I have hypothyroidism so I gain weight really easily and have a horrible time losing becusae dieting just makes me sleepy.  It seems like I could lose if i could be anorexic, nervous like they are so I would be awake and obsessive...
    alisheaskylar alisheaskylar 26-30, F Aug 12, 2008

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    Sometimes I Try To Be Anorexic

    I sometimes want to have full blown anorexia so that I can focus on anorexia all the time instead of me focusing on things in my past like this one guy. When I focus on not eating and feeling the hunger pains, I can escape reality for a bit. And if I am in a really bad stage of...
    reset reset 18-21, F 4 Responses Jan 23, 2012

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    I wish I was anorexic

    because I love love love food. I could eat it all day and then as soon as I'm done eating I feel bad. I've tried throwing up before but I don't have that much of a gag reflex. I wish I could go with out eating and just live on coffee.
    aestrada91 aestrada91 22-25, F 4 Responses Mar 10

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    ??

    sometimes i would rather go through a eating disorder than to be called and look and feel fat . this extra 30lbs sucks . i wonder how fast i could lose 30lbs by puking ??
    bandgeek2 bandgeek2 16-17, F 2 Responses Apr 18, 2012

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    Obsessed

    I am obsessed with eating disorders. I love anything relating to ana, mia, or obese people. I have the movie/documentary "Thin" and I watch it all the time. Anything that has to do with models I love. I even watch discovery health on obese people to see what they go through.
    chelsia1 chelsia1 26-30, F 6 Responses Jan 8, 2008

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    "Its No Big Deal."

    Here's the thing. I love to eat but hate it at the same time. Someone once told me that they feel like a failure when they eat and i feel the exact same way! I find it so difficult to not eat. And yet difficult TO eat. I am over weight, however much i deny it. I'm 5'3 and about...
    Isabellesheart Isabellesheart 18-21, F 1 Response Apr 8, 2009

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    Eating disorders are not fun to have they are

    very hard to fix and sometimes they lead to depression
    mackenziep71 mackenziep71 13-15, F May 11

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    Do I Have An Eating Disorder?

    I'm really not sure. In school I wouldn't eat anything, but then I would get home and eat a little bit of everything. I would kind of feel bad about it because I really hated my thighs, and I wanted to have stick legs like every other girl at school. I went through something...
    LeniGail LeniGail 16-17, F 3 Responses Jun 6, 2013

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    As Horrible As That Is To Say

    I'm fat. Against my will.Because of an endocrine disorder I have, my body is under the impression that I am in a condition of famine. Therefore- I gain weight SUPER easily no matter how healthy I eat, and if I starve myself, my body holds tight to the existing fat I carry. I am...
    SpiritOfTheRabbit SpiritOfTheRabbit 31-35, F 6 Responses Jun 6, 2011

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    eating disorders are much more difficult to

    cope with than your bad eating habits. eat less and exercise if you want to lose weight. it's sad that people actually WANT an eating disorder simply because they can't be bothered to lose weight on their own. guys, that stuff is serious. it's scary.
    magicalgirlintraining magicalgirlintraining 18-21, F May 11

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    I've struggled with my weight most of my life.

    I'm really short, and it almost seems like I put on weight if I just look at too many cupcakes. I can drop about 30 lbs if I stick PERFECTLY to a strict diet for months. The last time I did it, I strictly ate a piece of fruit and cup of yogurt for breakfast, a salad for lunch...
    justsomegirloutthere89 justsomegirloutthere89 26-30, F 1 Response Jan 7

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    Eating Disorders.

    I've been chubby ever since I can remember. I was never one to blame my weight on anything medical. But 2 years ago, I was diagnosed with Poly-Cystic Ovarian Syndrome and a year prior to that I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism. My doctors and I came to the conclusion that these...
    collision collision 18-21, F 6 Responses Nov 29, 2007

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    I actually had anorexia

    for five years that included five inpatient/hospital stays for it; loads of medical/ nutritional counseling & even way more therapy. I was quote/unquote " the worst patient my hospital/treatment center had ever treated." I've since recovered, or basically recovered, still in...
    JuliaHHL JuliaHHL 22-25, F May 10

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    Related Experiences

    I was on a pretty good roll last week. I made it almost a week without binging at night or overeating during the day. Every evening I took the time to make a food plan for the next...
    Robinzasio Robinzasio 41-45, F 17 hrs ago

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    What an unhealthy thought, but it was my life at one point and I won't ever forget that, because it makes me who I am. From sixth grade to my freshman year of high school I...
    twisteduniverse twisteduniverse 22-25, F 17 hrs ago

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    I might I don't want to believe so but I don't eat much have no need too I hate meats so I don't get enough protein and almost every morning I throw up and sometimes at night...
    Eloradanan98 Eloradanan98 16-17, F 1 day ago

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    I know I already wrote about anorexia but i need to clear something about its partner, Bulimia. When you first think about Bulimia you probably see a girl eating an abnormal amount...
    gypsyme gypsyme 13-15 2 days ago

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    I feel horrible. I haven't been feeling well. my 8 year old daughter has been wanting to help me feel better- she even wants to be a doctor - she drew in her notebook I got her for...
    brknsilence79 brknsilence79 31-35, F 1 Response 2 days ago

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    a message i sent to a girl that is having despair and wanting to die:: "no, sweetie, i don't judge you. i understand it's probably just become an obsession to ease your pain or...
    cosmosdrift cosmosdrift 31-35, F 2 days ago

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    Over the past year or two, I've been finding it more and more difficult to distinguish between when I'm dreaming and when I'm conscious. My dreams feel more vivid than real life...
    Surreal657 Surreal657 22-25, F 1 Response 4 days ago

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    possible trigger warning.... I been eating enough these past few days. trying to fight this ED. i look bloated and feel horrible and huge. my thoughts has me think all this is...
    brknsilence79 brknsilence79 31-35, F 2 Responses 4 days ago

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    I wish that I could constantly live within that small window of time where I'm just starting to wake up but consciousness hasn't quite kicked in yet. That's always the time in...
    SplendidChai SplendidChai 18-21, F 5 days ago

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    my parents won't let me use the treadmill anymore because i over do it haha and i don't eat so they don't want me losing anymore weight which sucks but as long as i don't eat i'm...
    butterflybaby123 butterflybaby123 13-15, F 5 days ago

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    I am a 32-year-old male. I got sick with the stomach flu at age 12 and was left with rumination syndrome, or something close. Within a couple of weeks of getting sick, I...
    nthgmvs nthgmvs 31-35, M 6 days ago

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    I'm really depressed so I don't have reasons. It just happens
    erxnio erxnio 16-17, F a week ago

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    I feel so weak in side I don't want to eat but then I do eat and I hate my self so much for it I look in the mirror and I think I'm discusting and the same day my mom mom called me...
    Dezitorsmilez Dezitorsmilez 18-21, F 1 Response a week ago

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    I am just so frustrated and angry with myself right now. I have been trying to get to a normal weight and maintain it for YEARS and I just cannot seem to get there. I am stuck on a...
    Robinzasio Robinzasio 41-45, F Aug 23

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    I should probably go to sleep now, but all I can do is think and I can't get rest from my own thoughts, I Have a lot of **** on my mind and tonight I've been thinking about...
    sunshineh13 sunshineh13 22-25, F 2 Responses Aug 22

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    Hey I am 15 and have had rumination syndrome/disorder for almost a year now. I hid it from my parents for 4 months because I was so horribly ashamed about it. I thought that it was...
    renee2018 renee2018 13-15, F Aug 21

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    Ever since I left high schooland sadly became a pill addict, I've developed this sense that I will always be overweight. I'm terrified to gain a pound. It started with me running...
    HollyMaria954 HollyMaria954 18-21, F 1 Response Aug 21

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    So I know it's a good day when I wake up and actually want to get out of bed.
    AlwaysInMyHead247 AlwaysInMyHead247 46-50, M Aug 19

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    Does anyone else have problems with their medication?
    Lotusflower80 Lotusflower80 31-35, F 2 Responses Aug 18

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    Whenever I don't particularly have things planned for a day, I can not get up.
    17Olives 17Olives 16-17, F 1 Response