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I Sometimes Want to Have An Eating Disorder

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 173 People

    I've struggled with my weight most of my life.

    I'm really short, and it almost seems like I put on weight if I just look at too many cupcakes. I can drop about 30 lbs if I stick PERFECTLY to a strict diet for months. The last time I did it, I strictly ate a piece of fruit and cup of yogurt for breakfast, a salad for lunch...
    justsomegirloutthere89 justsomegirloutthere89 26-30, F 1 Response Jan 7

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    I actually had anorexia

    for five years that included five inpatient/hospital stays for it; loads of medical/ nutritional counseling & even way more therapy. I was quote/unquote " the worst patient my hospital/treatment center had ever treated." I've since recovered, or basically recovered, still in...
    JuliaHHL JuliaHHL 18-21, F May 10

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    i had/have an eating disorder

    for about 6yrs, but the worst times were about 4yrs ago. it was a prison. i never went out because i thought i was ugly & that everything made my fat hang. i weighed myself at least 15 times in one day everyday. i lived in front of the mirror & exercising excessively in my room...
    screambloodygore screambloodygore 26-30, F 1 Response Jun 30

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    Obsessed

    I am obsessed with eating disorders. I love anything relating to ana, mia, or obese people. I have the movie/documentary "Thin" and I watch it all the time. Anything that has to do with models I love. I even watch discovery health on obese people to see what they go through.
    chelsia1 chelsia1 26-30, F 6 Responses Jan 8, 2008

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    "Its No Big Deal."

    Here's the thing. I love to eat but hate it at the same time. Someone once told me that they feel like a failure when they eat and i feel the exact same way! I find it so difficult to not eat. And yet difficult TO eat. I am over weight, however much i deny it. I'm 5'3 and about...
    Isabellesheart Isabellesheart 18-21, F 1 Response Apr 8, 2009

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    ??

    sometimes i would rather go through a eating disorder than to be called and look and feel fat . this extra 30lbs sucks . i wonder how fast i could lose 30lbs by puking ??
    bandgeek2 bandgeek2 16-17, F 2 Responses Apr 18, 2012

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    Are You Kidding Me?!!!

    Eating disorders suck major nuts. I'm fat. Really, I am. Supa chubby. And I struggle with Bulimia and Anorexic tendencies. Before this, I used to be a binge eater. So I go through binge cycles without "getting rid" of the food. I did lose some weight by starving. I mantain my way...
    CrazyHippieChick CrazyHippieChick 22-25 3 Responses May 30, 2011

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    Do I Have An Eating Disorder?

    I'm really not sure. In school I wouldn't eat anything, but then I would get home and eat a little bit of everything. I would kind of feel bad about it because I really hated my thighs, and I wanted to have stick legs like every other girl at school. I went through something...
    LeniGail LeniGail 16-17, F 3 Responses Jun 6, 2013

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    Wimp

    I tried to throw up but I chickened out. I'm really disappointed with myself right now...
    LeniGail LeniGail 16-17, F 2 Responses Jun 6, 2013

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    As Horrible As That Is To Say

    I'm fat. Against my will.Because of an endocrine disorder I have, my body is under the impression that I am in a condition of famine. Therefore- I gain weight SUPER easily no matter how healthy I eat, and if I starve myself, my body holds tight to the existing fat I carry. I am...
    SpiritOfTheRabbit SpiritOfTheRabbit 31-35, F 6 Responses Jun 6, 2011

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    It Sounds Weird..

    I really hate eating sometimes.. I just feel like I'm putting on loads of weight there and then. I do love food.. but sometimes I wish I wasn't so greedy. Most of the time I eat it's because I just feel like it not because I'm hungry. Recently I have basically lost my appetite...
    BrokenAngelWishes BrokenAngelWishes 18-21, F Nov 9, 2009

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    Real Bad Sometimes

    I am 5'2" and I weigh about 155.  I have hypothyroidism so I gain weight really easily and have a horrible time losing becusae dieting just makes me sleepy.  It seems like I could lose if i could be anorexic, nervous like they are so I would be awake and obsessive...
    alisheaskylar alisheaskylar 26-30, F Aug 12, 2008

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    *gasp* How'd That Finger End Up Down My Throat?...

    Sometimes I think it would just be sooooo much easier to just make myself puke instead of hating myself for being fat. I've done some eating disorder-ish things before. I've starved myself for a week here and there, I've eaten next to nothing for a couple months, I've taken...
    Warmthoughtsofyou04 Warmthoughtsofyou04 26-30, F 2 Responses Jun 7, 2008

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    Im Recovered And Miss It

    ive recovered (some say you never stop recovering) from EDNOS. started at 13 ended at 16. i miss it. i miss not being able to eat; i miss seeing fat in the mirror. i miss not feeling the need to eat, the absolute anger at my body. i started college and am living in residence...
    abittobright abittobright 18-21, F Oct 16, 2013

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    I wish I was anorexic

    because I love love love food. I could eat it all day and then as soon as I'm done eating I feel bad. I've tried throwing up before but I don't have that much of a gag reflex. I wish I could go with out eating and just live on coffee.
    aestrada91 aestrada91 22-25, F 4 Responses Mar 10

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    It Comes and It Goes

    i'm 20 years old, 5'7" and around 140 lbs. (although that's an estimate because i really don't weigh myself) sometimes i feel pretty good about my body, and i'm happy with it. other times though, i look in the mirror and i'm like, "you are too fat!" i used to be...
    runnagirrl runnagirrl 22-25, F 1 Response Apr 3, 2008

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    eating disorders are much more difficult to

    cope with than your bad eating habits. eat less and exercise if you want to lose weight. it's sad that people actually WANT an eating disorder simply because they can't be bothered to lose weight on their own. guys, that stuff is serious. it's scary.
    magicalgirlintraining magicalgirlintraining 18-21, F May 11

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    I Don't Have the Will Power

    I am 20 now...  and since I was about 17, I have had a few little month or so spells where I will eat literally nothing but maybe a granola bar a day.  I will lose 15 pounds or so...  But then I get happy with the way I look, satisfied... and I...
    pinkkennel pinkkennel 18-21 1 Response Mar 29, 2009

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    I Kno Iz Stupid...

    i kno iz stupid but evrytime my parents start telling meh  **** i just imagine wat they wud do if i started starving myself....
    iluvnerds12 iluvnerds12 13-15, F 1 Response Mar 7, 2011

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    Eating disorders are not fun to have they are

    very hard to fix and sometimes they lead to depression
    mackenziep71 mackenziep71 13-15, F May 11

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    Sometimes I Try To Be Anorexic

    I sometimes want to have full blown anorexia so that I can focus on anorexia all the time instead of me focusing on things in my past like this one guy. When I focus on not eating and feeling the hunger pains, I can escape reality for a bit. And if I am in a really bad stage of...
    reset reset 18-21, F 4 Responses Jan 23, 2012

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    I Hate My Eating Disorder!

    I saw this and felt really sad. I've had anorexia and bulimia for almost a year and trust me you don't want it. I'm still recovering so I'm not so full of knowledge onn an eating disorder. You loose your period, have no boobs, get tired really easily,I looked like a 9 year old...
    SaraC09 SaraC09 13-15, F 2 Responses Aug 12, 2012

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    Eating Disorders.

    I've been chubby ever since I can remember. I was never one to blame my weight on anything medical. But 2 years ago, I was diagnosed with Poly-Cystic Ovarian Syndrome and a year prior to that I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism. My doctors and I came to the conclusion that these...
    collision collision 18-21, F 6 Responses Nov 29, 2007

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    Related Experiences

    So what? I dont have an appetite? Is that really that bad? Im perfectly healthy, Im active, Im not insecure about my body, but yet that makes me anorexic? How is that correct...
    hallow1331 hallow1331 13-15, F 3 Responses 14 hrs ago

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    admitting I'm struggling to my husband again was hard, but glad he knows. i been scared on telling him but became aware that the ED didn't want him knowing so I can continue in...
    brknsilence79 brknsilence79 31-35, F 1 Response 20 hrs ago

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    I used laxatives for the first time today. My sister gave me this tea that's a natural laxative. Considering I've never used them before I figured this would be the least amount of...
    Kimi0 Kimi0 18-21, F 3 Responses 1 day ago

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    how horrible is it that I want to be anorexic again. even though that stage of my life ruined me, this whole binge eating and bulimia is doing me way more harm. I need to just fast...
    yafeelmepenguin yafeelmepenguin 18-21, F 1 day ago

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    I need a friend for support when I want to binge and purge. and to help keep me from being consumed in eating disorder land
    yafeelmepenguin yafeelmepenguin 18-21, F 1 day ago

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    I haven't been eating much. Started getting really dizzy today. trying to eat and hoping this ED doesn't have me feeling guilty and huge afterwards . i'm just exhausted in fighting...
    brknsilence79 brknsilence79 31-35, F 1 Response 1 day ago

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    Hey guys. I had eating disorder. I was hating my body and everything about me. I made a decision that I will change my life. So I started doing exercises . My body is getting...
    staystrongandlive staystrongandlive 16-17, F 2 days ago

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    Listen to me please, you reading this right now I know you're going through a very very hard time but you will get better you will get through this, you're growing as a person I...
    Itsgoingtobeokayipromise Itsgoingtobeokayipromise 18-21, M 2 days ago

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    so my bf's ex gf is so skinny... i'm the ugly fat new gf. i hate it!!! i've had an ED for about 6yrs, on & off on recovery... relapse, you know how it is. right now i'm on my fat...
    screambloodygore screambloodygore 26-30, F 3 Responses 3 days ago

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    trying to work on beating this ED. just can't eat without feeling guilty and feeling huge. why can't I get past this and be happy with who I am? Just been wanting to fall more into...
    brknsilence79 brknsilence79 31-35, F 1 Response 4 days ago

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    So I got to talk with a psychiatrist today about depersonalization disorder he said that it is part of a defense mechanism that your body uses when a great amount of stress is put...
    Shadetree111 Shadetree111 18-21, F 4 days ago

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    I was just diagnosed with this today. So I'm trying to learn as much as I can. Anyone taking Topamax for it? My Dr prescribed it. We'll see how it works. What has ur experience...
    BeautifullySickkk BeautifullySickkk 31-35, F 3 Responses 5 days ago

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    I completely understand I've been wondering what is happening to me for a year and a half because I haven't been able to explain what is wrong with me. Then I was searching up what...
    Shadetree111 Shadetree111 18-21, F 1 Response 5 days ago

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    I am looking for a friend, gender/location/age doesn't matter as long as you won't hurt my feelings. I'm struggling with eating disorder and anxiety. I can be supportive and my...
    veronicarosy veronicarosy 16-17, F 3 Responses 6 days ago

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    i'm not where i would like to be yet but i've gotten pretty far.when i first got diagnosed i couldn't even go outside,it gave me alot of anxiety.i thought the hallucinations i had...
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response a week ago

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    Hi I am 16. I have been ruminating for as long as I can remember, but always thought it was normal for everyone. Well when I realized it was not, I felt ashamed and tried to hide...
    Girlnamedgirl Girlnamedgirl 16-17, F 2 Responses Jul 26

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    Again, another moment of struggling... Just been wanting to give up on trying to get better. just hate eating and feeling horrible afterwards. I don't know anymore... I hate...
    brknsilence79 brknsilence79 31-35, F 3 Responses Jul 25

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    I feel like I want to tell someone about my eating disorder but I think they will judge me and I'm not at my goal weight so I don't know what to do I just hate feel like this....
    Maria134747 Maria134747 16-17, F 2 Responses Jul 25

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    Well I did it again.... I fought with my boyfriend and my head is screaming just stop just stop don't break it off he loves you just stop but I can't stop. I ******* can't I'm...
    xoxoFireyIcexoxo xoxoFireyIcexoxo 26-30, F Jul 25

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    Is there such a thing as an off day with dpd? Is there a day where you don't notice it, but then you have an off day where it just hits you? The stress of not trying to have...
    Flylikeabutterfly Flylikeabutterfly 22-25, F 1 Response Jul 25

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    About 4 years ago I was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder. At that time my Dr assumed that I hear voices and see things but I don't. I went along with it and now it's out of...
    liar2000 liar2000 26-30, F 1 Response Jul 23