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I Sometimes Want to Have An Eating Disorder

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 147 People

    As Horrible As That Is To Say

    I'm fat. Against my will.Because of an endocrine disorder I have, my body is under the impression that I am in a condition of famine. Therefore- I gain weight SUPER easily no matter how healthy I eat, and if I starve myself, my body holds tight to the existing fat I carry. I am...
    SpiritOfTheRabbit SpiritOfTheRabbit 31-35, F 6 Responses Jun 6, 2011

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    Sometimes I Try To Be Anorexic

    I sometimes want to have full blown anorexia so that I can focus on anorexia all the time instead of me focusing on things in my past like this one guy. When I focus on not eating and feeling the hunger pains, I can escape reality for a bit. And if I am in a really bad stage of...
    reset reset 18-21, F 4 Responses Jan 23, 2012

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    ??

    sometimes i would rather go through a eating disorder than to be called and look and feel fat . this extra 30lbs sucks . i wonder how fast i could lose 30lbs by puking ??
    bandgeek2 bandgeek2 16-17, F 2 Responses Apr 18, 2012

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    It Sounds Weird..

    I really hate eating sometimes.. I just feel like I'm putting on loads of weight there and then. I do love food.. but sometimes I wish I wasn't so greedy. Most of the time I eat it's because I just feel like it not because I'm hungry. Recently I have basically lost my appetite...
    BrokenAngelWishes BrokenAngelWishes 18-21, F Nov 9, 2009

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    I Kno Iz Stupid...

    i kno iz stupid but evrytime my parents start telling meh  **** i just imagine wat they wud do if i started starving myself....
    iluvnerds12 iluvnerds12 13-15, F 1 Response Mar 7, 2011

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    *gasp* How'd That Finger End Up Down My Throat?...

    Sometimes I think it would just be sooooo much easier to just make myself puke instead of hating myself for being fat. I've done some eating disorder-ish things before. I've starved myself for a week here and there, I've eaten next to nothing for a couple months, I've taken...
    Warmthoughtsofyou04 Warmthoughtsofyou04 26-30, F 2 Responses Jun 7, 2008

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    "Its No Big Deal."

    Here's the thing. I love to eat but hate it at the same time. Someone once told me that they feel like a failure when they eat and i feel the exact same way! I find it so difficult to not eat. And yet difficult TO eat. I am over weight, however much i deny it. I'm 5'3 and about...
    Isabellesheart Isabellesheart 18-21, F 1 Response Apr 8, 2009

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    It Comes and It Goes

    i'm 20 years old, 5'7" and around 140 lbs. (although that's an estimate because i really don't weigh myself) sometimes i feel pretty good about my body, and i'm happy with it. other times though, i look in the mirror and i'm like, "you are too fat!" i used to be...
    runnagirrl runnagirrl 22-25, F 1 Response Apr 3, 2008

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    I Don't Have the Will Power

    I am 20 now...  and since I was about 17, I have had a few little month or so spells where I will eat literally nothing but maybe a granola bar a day.  I will lose 15 pounds or so...  But then I get happy with the way I look, satisfied... and I...
    pinkkennel pinkkennel 18-21 1 Response Mar 29, 2009

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    Wimp

    I tried to throw up but I chickened out. I'm really disappointed with myself right now...
    LeniGail LeniGail 16-17, F 2 Responses Jun 6, 2013

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    I've struggled with my weight most of my life.

    I'm really short, and it almost seems like I put on weight if I just look at too many cupcakes. I can drop about 30 lbs if I stick PERFECTLY to a strict diet for months. The last time I did it, I strictly ate a piece of fruit and cup of yogurt for breakfast, a salad for lunch...
    justsomegirloutthere89 justsomegirloutthere89 22-25, F Jan 7

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    Obsessed

    I am obsessed with eating disorders. I love anything relating to ana, mia, or obese people. I have the movie/documentary "Thin" and I watch it all the time. Anything that has to do with models I love. I even watch discovery health on obese people to see what they go through.
    chelsia1 chelsia1 26-30, F 6 Responses Jan 8, 2008

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    Real Bad Sometimes

    I am 5'2" and I weigh about 155.  I have hypothyroidism so I gain weight really easily and have a horrible time losing becusae dieting just makes me sleepy.  It seems like I could lose if i could be anorexic, nervous like they are so I would be awake and obsessive...
    alisheaskylar alisheaskylar 26-30, F Aug 12, 2008

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    Eating Disorders.

    I've been chubby ever since I can remember. I was never one to blame my weight on anything medical. But 2 years ago, I was diagnosed with Poly-Cystic Ovarian Syndrome and a year prior to that I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism. My doctors and I came to the conclusion that these...
    collision collision 18-21, F 6 Responses Nov 29, 2007

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    I Hate My Eating Disorder!

    I saw this and felt really sad. I've had anorexia and bulimia for almost a year and trust me you don't want it. I'm still recovering so I'm not so full of knowledge onn an eating disorder. You loose your period, have no boobs, get tired really easily,I looked like a 9 year old...
    SaraC09 SaraC09 13-15, F 2 Responses Aug 12, 2012

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    Are You Kidding Me?!!!

    Eating disorders suck major nuts. I'm fat. Really, I am. Supa chubby. And I struggle with Bulimia and Anorexic tendencies. Before this, I used to be a binge eater. So I go through binge cycles without "getting rid" of the food. I did lose some weight by starving. I mantain my way...
    CrazyHippieChick CrazyHippieChick 70+, F 3 Responses May 30, 2011

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    I wish I was anorexic

    because I love love love food. I could eat it all day and then as soon as I'm done eating I feel bad. I've tried throwing up before but I don't have that much of a gag reflex. I wish I could go with out eating and just live on coffee.
    aestrada91 aestrada91 22-25, F 3 Responses Mar 10

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    I'm still in recovery

    and I relapsed a few times already about a week ago I think. Sometimes I want to be fully recovered and other times I never want to end my ednos. School is coming up soon and I already know what that means...at school I always skip lunch, always, and it's very rare that I eat...
    XxMisguidedxGhostxX XxMisguidedxGhostxX 13-15, F 2 Responses Jul 30, 2014

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    Im Recovered And Miss It

    ive recovered (some say you never stop recovering) from EDNOS. started at 13 ended at 16. i miss it. i miss not being able to eat; i miss seeing fat in the mirror. i miss not feeling the need to eat, the absolute anger at my body. i started college and am living in residence...
    abittobright abittobright 18-21, F Oct 16, 2013

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    Do I Have An Eating Disorder?

    I'm really not sure. In school I wouldn't eat anything, but then I would get home and eat a little bit of everything. I would kind of feel bad about it because I really hated my thighs, and I wanted to have stick legs like every other girl at school. I went through something...
    LeniGail LeniGail 16-17, F 3 Responses Jun 6, 2013

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    Related Experiences

    It's hard to admit that I have an eating disorder. I never asked for this, and I'm sure no one ever asks for this. Overcoming my problem should be as easy as eating, but it's not...
    InsaneFlowerGirl InsaneFlowerGirl 22-25, F 1 Response Mar 4

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    It has taken me years to admit that I, in fact, do have an eating disorder. Ever since I was young, I've been obsessed with my weight. I was always heavier than other girls, even...
    angelique422 angelique422 22-25, F 5 days ago

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    Help... I am 16 years old, and never been more stressed in my life. I am recovered from my Eating Disorder for under a year now but had a relapse yesterday, and it's because I...
    marchdahl marchdahl 18-21, F Mar 4

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    I fear that my boss is catching on to my eating disorder... He commented on it... In a way... Not towards me about having an eating disorder, but he notices that I don't eat much...
    MrCutBleedSmile MrCutBleedSmile 18-21, M 2 Responses Mar 3

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    What was the main factor that helped you to recover from your eating disorder? Was it medication, seeing a nutritionist or therapy? My mum wants to take me to the doctors about my...
    FrickenChicken FrickenChicken 16-17, F 1 Response Mar 8

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    Is it weird my eating disorder feels comforting like I don't need anyone else as long as I have a eating disorder
    butterflybaby123 butterflybaby123 13-15 2 Responses Mar 19

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    Growing up, weight was always an issue. Not my own weight but my mothers. She's struggled with an eating disorder since her late teens. She "has been in recovery for 20 years". I...
    DizzieDazie DizzieDazie 18-21, F 1 Response 6 days ago

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    I have a freaking eating disorder since my depression got worse and start feeling lonely I started eating like a freak and I took 17 kg in 6 months I'm desperate
    emmadarko emmadarko 22-25, F 1 Response 4 days ago

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    Lately I've had a hard time keeping food out of me... I just ate a lot of food hoping to remind me how terrible it makes me feel... Please someone help me? What are some ways to...
    MrCutBleedSmile MrCutBleedSmile 18-21, M Mar 8

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    Really wanting some new ana friends on snapchat to share pics and help along. I've had an eating disorder since I was younger, I'm now 20. 7 years down the line I'm still here...
    NavyGirlfriend94 NavyGirlfriend94 18-21, F 1 Response Mar 20

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    So yeah, I have an eating disorder, I'm an anorexic with bulimic tendencies. I know some people might think that I can't ever be an anorexic just because anorexics are thin and not...
    s0ciety s0ciety 13-15, F 2 Responses Mar 15

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    It has been 2 years since I became normal looking again after my eating disorder. It still bothers me so much though.
    Happybri123 Happybri123 18-21, F Mar 16

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    Never Give Up, Even Though I Sometimes Want to
    goodnites25 goodnites25 22-25, M 5 hrs ago

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    Don't give up; there is hope. I'm 19 and when I was 16, I got my first symptoms of rumination syndrome. Like a lot of others, I thought it was a 24 hour sick bug but it just...
    alexxblanch alexxblanch 18-21, F Mar 4

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    Started dieting about 7 months ago, started at around 550 and I'm now down to 426. I just wanted to get healthy, living a life full of unhealthy foods and dealing with obesity...
    Piralite Piralite 18-21, M Mar 11

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    Im writing in to about the fear of eating at someone's house or eating out. I don't know when it started actually I use to be able to do these things often but not anymore. I also...
    cherylm61 cherylm61 51-55, F 2 days ago

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    Possibly. The more I eat, the more I want to throw up. I'm skipping breakfast and now lunch then binge eating. Is that bad?
    awkwardmuch awkwardmuch 13-15, F 1 Response Mar 15

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    I had anorexia since the middle of seventh grade.it's difficult and Ive actually been anorexic for a total of two and a half years and bulimic off and on. some days for me Its...
    ansleyOneal ansleyOneal 13-15, F a week ago

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    One of my teachers pulled me aside the other day and asked if I've been eating. I'm in recovery. I don't know how to react to that.
    galaxyle galaxyle 18-21, F 1 Response Mar 3

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    Developing orthorexia, if not already there. I don't know how to eat carbs and feel good about myself and not eat healthy and feel good about myself, so protein all the time seems...
    kxCobra kxCobra 18-21, F 1 Response Mar 4

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    The urge to binge at night becomes ten times stronger. As long as I have something in my mouth, like a wrapper or straw, everything's okay. It's to the point to where I need to...
    Madison677 Madison677 13-15, F Mar 9

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    You get high off not eating, that's the part people don't understand. When I'm empty, I don't feel anorexic, I feel normal.
    PizzaQueen933 PizzaQueen933 18-21, F 2 Responses Mar 17

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    It's getting out of control, eating becomes something so diffucult that it makes interaction with others very difucult. I throw up, I run.. everyone keeps telling me that I'm...
    Ennah Ennah 18-21, F 1 Response Mar 22

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