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I Sometimes Want to Have An Eating Disorder

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 173 People

    i had/have an eating disorder

    for about 6yrs, but the worst times were about 4yrs ago. it was a prison. i never went out because i thought i was ugly & that everything made my fat hang. i weighed myself at least 15 times in one day everyday. i lived in front of the mirror & exercising excessively in my room...
    screambloodygore screambloodygore 26-30, F 1 Response 1 day ago

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    "Its No Big Deal."

    Here's the thing. I love to eat but hate it at the same time. Someone once told me that they feel like a failure when they eat and i feel the exact same way! I find it so difficult to not eat. And yet difficult TO eat. I am over weight, however much i deny it. I'm 5'3 and about...
    Isabellesheart Isabellesheart 18-21, F 1 Response Apr 8, 2009

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    Obsessed

    I am obsessed with eating disorders. I love anything relating to ana, mia, or obese people. I have the movie/documentary "Thin" and I watch it all the time. Anything that has to do with models I love. I even watch discovery health on obese people to see what they go through.
    chelsia1 chelsia1 26-30, F 6 Responses Jan 8, 2008

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    I Hate My Eating Disorder!

    I saw this and felt really sad. I've had anorexia and bulimia for almost a year and trust me you don't want it. I'm still recovering so I'm not so full of knowledge onn an eating disorder. You loose your period, have no boobs, get tired really easily,I looked like a 9 year old...
    SaraC09 SaraC09 13-15, F 2 Responses Aug 12, 2012

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    Are You Kidding Me?!!!

    Eating disorders suck major nuts. I'm fat. Really, I am. Supa chubby. And I struggle with Bulimia and Anorexic tendencies. Before this, I used to be a binge eater. So I go through binge cycles without "getting rid" of the food. I did lose some weight by starving. I mantain my way...
    CrazyHippieChick CrazyHippieChick 22-25 3 Responses May 30, 2011

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    I wish I was anorexic

    because I love love love food. I could eat it all day and then as soon as I'm done eating I feel bad. I've tried throwing up before but I don't have that much of a gag reflex. I wish I could go with out eating and just live on coffee.
    aestrada91 aestrada91 22-25, F 4 Responses Mar 10

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    Im Recovered And Miss It

    ive recovered (some say you never stop recovering) from EDNOS. started at 13 ended at 16. i miss it. i miss not being able to eat; i miss seeing fat in the mirror. i miss not feeling the need to eat, the absolute anger at my body. i started college and am living in residence...
    abittobright abittobright 18-21, F Oct 16, 2013

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    I've struggled with my weight most of my life.

    I'm really short, and it almost seems like I put on weight if I just look at too many cupcakes. I can drop about 30 lbs if I stick PERFECTLY to a strict diet for months. The last time I did it, I strictly ate a piece of fruit and cup of yogurt for breakfast, a salad for lunch...
    justsomegirloutthere89 justsomegirloutthere89 26-30, F 1 Response Jan 7

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    Do I Have An Eating Disorder?

    I'm really not sure. In school I wouldn't eat anything, but then I would get home and eat a little bit of everything. I would kind of feel bad about it because I really hated my thighs, and I wanted to have stick legs like every other girl at school. I went through something...
    LeniGail LeniGail 16-17, F 3 Responses Jun 6, 2013

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    ??

    sometimes i would rather go through a eating disorder than to be called and look and feel fat . this extra 30lbs sucks . i wonder how fast i could lose 30lbs by puking ??
    bandgeek2 bandgeek2 16-17, F 2 Responses Apr 18, 2012

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    Eating disorders are not fun to have they are

    very hard to fix and sometimes they lead to depression
    mackenziep71 mackenziep71 13-15, F May 11

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    Sometimes I Try To Be Anorexic

    I sometimes want to have full blown anorexia so that I can focus on anorexia all the time instead of me focusing on things in my past like this one guy. When I focus on not eating and feeling the hunger pains, I can escape reality for a bit. And if I am in a really bad stage of...
    reset reset 18-21, F 4 Responses Jan 23, 2012

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    eating disorders are much more difficult to

    cope with than your bad eating habits. eat less and exercise if you want to lose weight. it's sad that people actually WANT an eating disorder simply because they can't be bothered to lose weight on their own. guys, that stuff is serious. it's scary.
    aspiringmagicalgirl aspiringmagicalgirl 18-21, F May 11

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    It Comes and It Goes

    i'm 20 years old, 5'7" and around 140 lbs. (although that's an estimate because i really don't weigh myself) sometimes i feel pretty good about my body, and i'm happy with it. other times though, i look in the mirror and i'm like, "you are too fat!" i used to be...
    runnagirrl runnagirrl 22-25, F 1 Response Apr 3, 2008

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    It Sounds Weird..

    I really hate eating sometimes.. I just feel like I'm putting on loads of weight there and then. I do love food.. but sometimes I wish I wasn't so greedy. Most of the time I eat it's because I just feel like it not because I'm hungry. Recently I have basically lost my appetite...
    BrokenAngelWishes BrokenAngelWishes 18-21, F Nov 9, 2009

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    Eating Disorders.

    I've been chubby ever since I can remember. I was never one to blame my weight on anything medical. But 2 years ago, I was diagnosed with Poly-Cystic Ovarian Syndrome and a year prior to that I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism. My doctors and I came to the conclusion that these...
    collision collision 18-21, F 6 Responses Nov 29, 2007

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    I Kno Iz Stupid...

    i kno iz stupid but evrytime my parents start telling meh  **** i just imagine wat they wud do if i started starving myself....
    iluvnerds12 iluvnerds12 13-15, F 1 Response Mar 7, 2011

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    Real Bad Sometimes

    I am 5'2" and I weigh about 155.  I have hypothyroidism so I gain weight really easily and have a horrible time losing becusae dieting just makes me sleepy.  It seems like I could lose if i could be anorexic, nervous like they are so I would be awake and obsessive...
    alisheaskylar alisheaskylar 26-30, F Aug 12, 2008

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    *gasp* How'd That Finger End Up Down My Throat?...

    Sometimes I think it would just be sooooo much easier to just make myself puke instead of hating myself for being fat. I've done some eating disorder-ish things before. I've starved myself for a week here and there, I've eaten next to nothing for a couple months, I've taken...
    Warmthoughtsofyou04 Warmthoughtsofyou04 26-30, F 2 Responses Jun 7, 2008

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    I Don't Have the Will Power

    I am 20 now...  and since I was about 17, I have had a few little month or so spells where I will eat literally nothing but maybe a granola bar a day.  I will lose 15 pounds or so...  But then I get happy with the way I look, satisfied... and I...
    pinkkennel pinkkennel 18-21 1 Response Mar 29, 2009

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    As Horrible As That Is To Say

    I'm fat. Against my will.Because of an endocrine disorder I have, my body is under the impression that I am in a condition of famine. Therefore- I gain weight SUPER easily no matter how healthy I eat, and if I starve myself, my body holds tight to the existing fat I carry. I am...
    SpiritOfTheRabbit SpiritOfTheRabbit 31-35, F 6 Responses Jun 6, 2011

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    I actually had anorexia

    for five years that included five inpatient/hospital stays for it; loads of medical/ nutritional counseling & even way more therapy. I was quote/unquote " the worst patient my hospital/treatment center had ever treated." I've since recovered, or basically recovered, still in...
    JuliaHHL JuliaHHL 18-21, F May 10

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    Wimp

    I tried to throw up but I chickened out. I'm really disappointed with myself right now...
    LeniGail LeniGail 16-17, F 2 Responses Jun 6, 2013

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    I don't like to say I have, or have had, an eating disorder because I feel it is somewhat unfair to those who's lives have been dangerously altered or taken by it. However, I'm...
    TeaspoonEm17 TeaspoonEm17 16-17, F 2 days ago

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    I am bulimic. selfishly, stupidly, gluttonously bulimic. I binge on just about anything, even if I don't like it much. If it has a flavour and I can get my hands on it, I'm gonna...
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    I'm currently underweight and have a low BF% but I still hate my body. I'm 30 yrs old and afraid I'll never find peace.
    Daninhell Daninhell 26-30, F 3 days ago

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    Trigger Warning... ... .... ... I started restricting again and everything I been eating, I been wanting to purge - but fighting it. I can't stand feeling so huge!!! 21 years...
    brknsilence79 brknsilence79 31-35, F 4 days ago

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    Is it normal to have chest pains when I'm anxious?
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    Please read with care, and take steps to keep yourself feeling safe and secure, if reading about body image and associated topics are triggering for you. I’m your stereotypical...
    ChocolateCurvesModel ChocolateCurvesModel 31-35, F 5 days ago

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    Write about your experiencePlease read with care, and take steps to keep yourself feeling safe and secure, if reading about body image and associated topics are triggering for you...
    ChocolateCurvesModel ChocolateCurvesModel 31-35, F 5 days ago

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    Hi I am Cindy I have schizoeffective bipolar type and I'm suffering a lot I feel high to low and see a boy I am very in love with I was at a mental hospital recently and it was...
    amicrazyornot amicrazyornot 13-15, F 1 Response 6 days ago

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    Hello everyone, I was told about 5 years ago that I suffered from depersonalization. Then life happened, well... it seems like I've watched it happen. I'm not writing to complain...
    tryingtofigureitout95 tryingtofigureitout95 18-21, F 1 Response Jun 23

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    I canceled my doctors appointment because I didn't want to be weighed. I just got back from vacation and I was forced to eat (meals were prepaid months ago). The fear of getting on...
    Charper44 Charper44 18-21, F 1 Response Jun 22

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    It's getting worse. The bulimia. And I'm not losing weight. So I'm gonna start working out again. A lot. And eating less. I just want to be thin. Is that too much to ask ?
    LoserMaterial LoserMaterial 16-17, F Jun 22

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    Hey. Today I woke up, and I felt so much depression and anxiety. My firsts couple thoughts were "why am I here?" "Why am I in this world when we are all just going to grow old and...
    allinsilent allinsilent 16-17, F 1 Response Jun 22

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    Hey everyone. I've been struggling with depersonalization since I was 12. I am 27 now. I just want you guys to know that it CAN get better. When it first started happening I...
    theprincessteph theprincessteph 26-30, F Jun 21

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    I was bulimic in the past, and in the past year I think I've only purged twice. But lately I haven't been able to keep any food down and went to the doctor to find out that it's my...
    itssmee itssmee 22-25, F 1 Response Jun 21

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    I've had an ED for 9 years but I'm currently at my highest weight ever and im so beyond disgusted with myself. It started with a medication that made me gain 30lbs in just 2 months...
    lostinpurgatoryy lostinpurgatoryy 22-25, F 1 Response Jun 21

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    I fight depression and while the campaign is going well at the moment I feel as if there is no end to the feelings and struggle of it all. College papers make me anxious. I don't...
    Maybeincubus Maybeincubus 22-25, M 1 Response Jun 20

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    I only have an eating disorder to tackle now, losing weight even when I'm eating normally. Back then when I was losing weight rapidly my mother wasn't worried much the first time...
    Nual Nual 22-25, F 2 Responses Jun 20

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    I really don't know whether I have it or not, in all honesty. I'm at the point that although I do depersonalize a lot, it has yet to cause me too much stress/interfere with social...
    JohnneyBravo34 JohnneyBravo34 13-15, F Jun 18

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