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I Struggle With Addiction

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 1,572 People

    This is an journal entry I wrote back in

    September of 2014 but I felt I should share it on here. Day 1 12 September 2014 Today is day 1 of my journey to overcome addiction. For years I’ve fought and fell, fought and fell. This time is going to be different though. Today is special, 14 years ago I joined...
    benforce benforce 31-35, M 1 Response Jan 31, 2015

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    Sobriety is a state of mind I cant fathom.

    Ive been high or drunk, or both for the past 7 years straight. I dont know another way to be. Im not particularly proud. Its not something I boast. I hide it well too given the fact that ive been high at job interviews, meetings, while at work, classes, family get together...
    LetsBeHonest LetsBeHonest 22-25, M 3 Responses Jan 21

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    beezylee29 beezylee29 26-30, M 5 Responses Dec 3, 2015

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    I am not sure though

    if I have a real problem or not. I lost my bottle of Ativan last week and haven't got anymore yet so I took a pain pill that I had here from a long time ago. I just wanted something to take the edge off and dull the emotional and mental pain. Before you judge me I am not a bad...
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Nov 15, 2015

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    dec.14 i have been clean

    for 11years. it has not been easy at times. i am willing to try and belp anyone out. so if u want to talk . pm me
    papabear4 papabear4 51-55, M 2 Responses Dec 26, 2015

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    Addicted to cheesecake,

    I can't help myself... ??
    AlcoholicStoner AlcoholicStoner 18-21, M 2 Responses Jan 22

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    Ruined my Christmas. Family brought over

    alcohol to celebrate and once again I apparently can't even be around the stuff without taking it too far. My sister brought over ingredients for a coconut based drink called Coquito that I had mentioned on Thanksgiving. She mixed plenty of rum in it, but I couldn't taste it...
    deleted deleted 26-30 5 Responses Dec 26, 2015

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    Lost All

    I used meth full on for the past 2 years. I thought i was strong enough to never let a drug controll my life. I was very wrong. It took ahold of my life bigtime. I hate that pipe but love it at the same time. Even after being off it for a mth. I had a beautiful life. Three boys...
    lysa351 lysa351 31-35, F 4 Responses Sep 22, 2012

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    Today is my 2 month anniversary from meth.

    It is getting harder each day. My biggest struggle right now is my house is a mess. I have so much clutter and I just want to not deal with it. I lazy. I hate that about myself today. The good far supersedes that but today I want to run away from my own mess!
    Whatinthellwasithinking Whatinthellwasithinking 36-40, F 5 Responses Dec 26, 2015

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    A Part Of My Life

    I feel like my addiction is growing more aggressive, every minute of everyday I think about getting a high my body is craving more and more of it. Which honestly is expected with any type of addiction. I just dont care anymore, I dont care to try, and really I am tired of caring...
    imperfectbeauty imperfectbeauty 18-21, F 5 Responses Oct 2, 2012

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    I am currently dieting with my family,

    we are cutting certain carbs, breads and sweet. . . My two addictions are sugar and caffeine. The artificial sweeteners, just do not do justice. I miss my breads, candy, real soda-pop. I try to drink water, but it is not enough.
    RebekahWriter13 RebekahWriter13 31-35, F 5 Responses Feb 1

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    Three Months Without Getting High

    I’m three months now without having smoked any marijuana. My emotional and intellectual clarity continues to grow, my dreams grow brighter, are recalled more deeply and make more sense to be than ever before, and my ability to relate to others, especially at work, is...
    turtlesplash turtlesplash 41-45, M 2 Responses Jan 27, 2013

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    How does one go about revealing an addiction?

    I want to reveal mine, and get help. But I don't know how to reach out. I'm a lost soul. I want and need friends who will support me. I always keep to myself and don't even know where I would begin. I feel very alone. Trapped. Does anyone else feel this way. I don't know where...
    deleted deleted 26-30 4 Responses May 2, 2015

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    Sobriety can be lonely

    as fuuck. I've been clean 5 months after almost a decade of alcohol and drug abuse. I am so indescribably grateful for how far I've come and all I've gained. but letting go of everyone from my past, coping with the real world, trying to learn how to meet people sober, figuring...
    deleted deleted 26-30 5 Responses Dec 12, 2015

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    In Recovery From Opiate Addiction.

    Hello all. Most of my story is over at the BPD forum, but just to share about my previous opiate addiction... I was an addict for 7 years. Opiates never made me high. They evened me out per se. I have many psychiatric disorders and opiates were the only thing that kept...
    EccentricOne EccentricOne 26-30, F 27 Responses Apr 20, 2009

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    I am addicted to PMO.

    It is a nasty habit and it is affecting my life. I am currently in bed, laying next to my beautiful wife and instead of sleeping or just snuggling her, I'm indulging my own addiction. I go to work late almost everyday because I'm getting a "fix". I can't seek help because I don...
    RichieRoo5 RichieRoo5 31-35, M 1 Response Jan 30

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    Sometimes I just don't know

    when to say "No." Even when I know that is what I should be saying I just don't seem to be able to do it even if I know I am being sucked in.
    TrannyHannah TrannyHannah 41-45, T 2 Responses 5 days ago

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    Hello! I am writing a book called "Occhiolism"

    and am took for people to interview. My goal is to gather as much great advice, experiences, thoughts, and perspectives as I can. If at all interested, please contact me.
    Occhiolism Occhiolism 18-21, F 1 Response Oct 1, 2015

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    Cloudmaster50 Cloudmaster50 13-15, M 1 Response Jan 21

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    He was standing alone in a field full of people,

    I walked up to him and said "Hey, remember me?" Of course he said "No," since we had never met before. I thought I was pretty clever when I said, "oh, I don't remember you either." He looked me up and down, smiled, and took my hand and led me into the woods. I had the clarity of...
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Feb 22, 2014

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    soda caffeine is my greatest addiction.

    I've tried countless times to break it but I just can't get off of it
    Mike3569 Mike3569 22-25, M Jan 22

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    I'm coming up on my third month clean from meth.

    I am so proud of myself. I feel good yet still fighting being lazy. The weight gain sucks but is much better than being on drugs. I am planning to start dieting soon. But for now I'm just trying to stay clean.
    Whatinthellwasithinking Whatinthellwasithinking 36-40, F 4 Responses Jan 21

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    yeah yeah i was clean

    for a long time. then i wasnt. then i was. then i wasnt i dont even know
    insanitys insanitys 18-21, T 2 Responses Jan 13

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    Anybody else addicted to

    that empty feeling? depression? I'm addicted to my own sadness. it's the only stable thing in my life & I've found some sort of comfort within it.
    Alliepaigeplease Alliepaigeplease 18-21, F 4 Responses Nov 25, 2015

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    I've been struggling with addiction

    for the past 3 years and I hope that many others can relate to me. I was finally able to stay sober at the beginning of August but that was short lived. I relapsed and used for 2 weeks. I am now, however, sober as I type this and I've been sober for the past 2 days. I am feeling...
    creaturefromanothertime creaturefromanothertime 22-25, F 3 Responses Sep 2, 2015

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    And I'm currently in a downward spiral,

    even though I see it... I can't stop myself
    BBWDizziDoll BBWDizziDoll 22-25, F 2 Responses Dec 11, 2013

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    Addicted to video games.

    .. I just can't seem to stop...
    MildImplosion MildImplosion 13-15, M 1 Response Jan 22

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    Just One actress navel

    and armpit pic is enough to tempting me then what ************ only,,,,south Indians fate ************ on navel pics
    v1k1 v1k1 18-21 Jan 22

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    When you sit there worrying about your

    addiction remember that it could be worse. Focus on what you have got. Not what you havent. Be happy you dont have more addictions. Be happy you don't have a terminal illness. Addiction is usually a sign of weakness and there is nothing to be ashamed of by being weak. These...
    BritishAndProud BritishAndProud 26-30, M Dec 9, 2015

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    I hate myself. I messed up.

    And I keep messing up. Someone stop me. Someone help me. I don't want to be this way anymore... I'm sick of this life. I only started so I wouldn't feel so miserable. But my life is great so why am I so depressed..?
    ridme ridme 22-25, F 5 Responses Feb 21, 2014

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    I Have Been Where You Are

    I am an addict in recovery.  Prison saved my life. I never thought I would want to tell a police officer thank you for putting me away - but I am so grateful. I know alot of people think it's cheating to go to prison, but this wasn't my first time in prison - the first...
    REC0VERED REC0VERED 41-45, F 4 Responses May 4, 2007

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    No Addicts Are Happy, They Only Pretend.

    There is no such thing as happiness when you are an addict. You can put on a happy face and have fun with your friends, but none of it is real. Never feeling normal again is the price you will always have to pay. I have done the same routine for so long that I don't think there...
    keithstone248 keithstone248 26-30, M 6 Responses Nov 1, 2012

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    Nicotine, caffeine, starving,

    cutting on and off, picking at my lips. My list goes on and on...
    xxretroholidayxx xxretroholidayxx 22-25, F 1 Response Dec 31, 2015

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    This is not street drugs,

    this is not alcohol. My addiction is caffeine. And yes I know, its very common and usually doesn't effect people much. But I will a skull splitting migraine without it, followed by a strange, full body spasm not unlike a Turret's tick...It happens when I'm sleep deprived even...
    RenegadeReaper RenegadeReaper 22-25, F 2 Responses Oct 2, 2015

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    My Vice

    I struggle with an addiction to ****. It's hard for me to find people to talk to because only a small percentage of women are addicts. To make it even worse I am Christian and I don't want to be judged for something most people never really address. People will look at me...
    tarbear1210 tarbear1210 22-25, F 4 Responses Nov 13, 2013

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    I Am Still Here.....

    Well, I am still here. Fighting the fight. I havent let it get me by the boo boo. I struggle constantly. Battle my inner demons. Its so much easier sometime to just shut them up though. For a few days or so anyway. Then, in stopping the madness of my using, I also allow them (my...
    KarmaKatcher KarmaKatcher 31-35, F 4 Responses Nov 25, 2007

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    Opiates

    Hi, my name is Carlee. At age 14 I was put on a steady stream of opiates for chronic pain from an auto immune disease. I have taken oxycodone, methadone, percocet, dilaudid, and fentanyl. Around age 18, my pain had improved from a surgery and was low enough to not need the drugs...
    carlee1212 carlee1212 18-21, F 2 Responses Aug 21, 2012

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    My addiction is playing.

    Online games and loseing alot of cash which I don't have much of when I win I feel great but then I go back for more I run up debts on cards I paying 3 back out of the 4 cards I keep stoping for a bit but I tend to get pulled back to playing ive relly got to try and stop
    Joanne181 Joanne181 18-21, F 2 Responses Dec 13, 2015

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    deadbyaprilpromiseme deadbyaprilpromiseme 31-35, F Jan 21

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    The moment you think you've got it,

    its spins around and bites you in the ***. I need to find someone living the same nightmare (preferably a woman) to talk it out with, share our experiences. This addiction is a war, we jumped in on the losing side, now we need to develop the tactics to overtake.
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Dec 12, 2014

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    Started taking Opiates

    when I was 14 and was never addicted just did drugs occasionally to unwind. Few years later and I've struggled with opiate addiction ever since. A few years ago I made the awful choice to trying Heroin and have been a full-blown addict since the first time. I've been clean 6...
    AyeJay6 AyeJay6 26-30, M 4 Responses Jul 17, 2015

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    It's been one thing or another

    since I was 15; weed, vomiting, starving, cutting, amphetamines, benzos, never really liked opiates but those too, all kinds of other pills, tobacco products, and now it's booze in whatever form I can get my hands on. I can count on two hands how many nights I went to bed sober...
    Godlevel Godlevel 18-21 2 Responses Jan 21

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    Hello, i didn't know what else to do,

    i don't know who else i should talk to, so i decided to ask for your opinion, as i suppose you understand this situation. Okay so this is not about me, I'm writing this because i believe that a very good friend of mine developed a drug addiction - mainly psychological . He's...
    Cassandra1617 Cassandra1617 18-21, F 4 Responses Dec 17, 2015

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    Just One actress navel

    and armpit pic is enough to tempting me then what ************ only,,,,south Indians fate ************ on navel pics
    v1k1 v1k1 18-21 Jan 22

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    I'm tired of being this person.

    This person with so much potential yet so much darkness. I'm tired of burdening others with my unfortunates. I want to be strong. I want to not be an addict.
    terriblefixations terriblefixations 22-25, F 3 Responses Sep 2, 2015

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