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I Struggle With Bipolar 1

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 49 People

    Up Up Up Then Down Down Down

    Depression has been a part of my life as long as I can remember.  It plagued me as a child, teen, young adult then into adulthood.  Treated for depression since I was in my twenties I didn't recognized the up side of the disorder.  Needless to say I didn't go to the doctor...
    rubyetuesday rubyetuesday 56-60, F 2 Responses Apr 4, 2012

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    I Don't Stuggle!

    Yes, I am diagnosed with Bipolar Depressed Severe with Psychotic Features anf add to this Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and Acute Anxiety/Panic Disorder, and it all makes for an interesting day every day. Once you reach my age - 50 years- you start to get a bit wiser and...
    KrazyAuntKim KrazyAuntKim 46-50, F 1 Response Jan 6, 2013

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    My Head Won't Leave My Head Alone

    I was diagnosed with OCD when I was 17.  For years that's all I thought I had.  When I was 29 I was diagnosed with Bipolar 1 Disorder after almost accidentally killing myself with a mixture of vodka, valium, and Vicodin ES.  I had no intention of hurting myself but...
    silk123 silk123 31-35 1 Response Feb 7, 2008

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    Memories

    I'm beginning to see medication as a reasonable alternative to my moods, but is this really right? Is this ridiculousness medication withdrawal (I've been off of Abilify for over a month) or am I really this rapid cycling? There's a maximum of one day at a normal mood between my...
    InvincibleHelpless InvincibleHelpless 16-17, F 1 Response Oct 26, 2012

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    Springtime is especially hard

    for me. Depression hits hard and antidepressants only make me ultra rapid cycle. My dr has me on a new antidepressant called Brintellix. I've been on it for a month and a half and still struggle with depression. For the most part, I am stable... Except in spring. And it makes me...
    SeaOfMonsters SeaOfMonsters 26-30, F Apr 28

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    I'm 16 and have bipolar 1 with psychotic

    features. I recently started to experience ultradian rapid cycling and am highly resistant to mood stabilizers and antipsychotics. Trying 7 different antipsychotics, my mind still raced. I experience almost all side effects so Im definitely never taking any again. I always have...
    MisterJones54321 MisterJones54321 22-25, M Nov 10, 2014

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    deleted deleted 26-30 Mar 19, 2014

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    A Glimpse...

    You feel the energy pulsing through you. It throbs through every cell of your body. Your nerves are on fire, completely inflamed and outstretched, receptive to every whisper, any twitch of motion near you. Touch is so amplified. A pat becomes a slap, a light grasp a clutch, a...
    m2extreme m2extreme 31-35, F 12 Responses Jun 22, 2011

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    Bipolar And Relationships.

    I think of the stigma associated with mental problems and depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, and related conditions. The seemingly automatic, there’s-something-wrong-with-you kind of judgement. I think of myself and why I never quite felt right...
    Trancefreak Trancefreak 22-25, F 9 Responses Nov 15, 2009

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    I am in a mixed state of mania

    and depression today. Actually the last few days. My doctor said it's bc of my ptsd acting up. It makes my mood change second to second. And my "other one" is fighting to come out. I feel like I'm going crazy!!
    deleted deleted 26-30 3 Responses Mar 28, 2014

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    Years Past And Years To Come

    You suddenly realize that people have roots and the world is lit up in the brightest of colours you are thinking clearer than everyone elsebutyourthoughtsflashbysoquicklylikesurrealistpoetryfishglue. And now you're laughing. Are you high? You get asked. Are you on drugs. You...
    InvincibleHelpless InvincibleHelpless 16-17, F 1 Response Oct 4, 2012

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    Related Experiences

    My bipolar makes me hate everything and everyone. I know it's not really me that hates so much, my bipolar has hijacked my brain and has filled it with so much hatred, anger, doubt...
    bipolarPeter bipolarPeter 31-35, M May 9

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    Specifically, I was diagnosed with Bipolar Spectrum Disorder; I live with bipolar type two and a borderline personality disorder (BPD.) I first exhibited symptoms in 2002 and...
    grindhound grindhound 22-25, T May 12

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    I have had a long and hard struggle with self hatred. I grew up in a family of 9 kids. I seemed to always be the most sensitive. It made me feel as tho something was wrong with me...
    iowateri8309 iowateri8309 51-55 1 Response May 17

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    I have endometriosis and pcos. I am overweight and I struggle with everything in life. I am just always sad.
    mimiakito123 mimiakito123 18-21, F 2 Responses May 11

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    I've always struggled with this. Ever since I was younger. Kinda doesn't help when your boyfriend is so engulfed with being in the gym...
    SadhbhHarrington SadhbhHarrington 18-21, F 1 Response May 16

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    I am my own worst critic. I nitpick everything to death. My eyebrows, hair, my teeth, smile, nose. If it's a part of me I've probably been dissatisfied with it at one point. It...
    FallingSun FallingSun 31-35, M May 17

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    Communication is key, so they say. Especially in this era of instantaneous, text-based communication! Words can be ambiguous, unfortunately. Each of us individually assign meaning...
    FindmeHoldmeLoveme FindmeHoldmeLoveme 18-21 3 Responses 6 days ago

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    I hate my life. I have bipolar and anxiety issues and eat out of depression. I am overweight and can't seem to get the strength to do anything about it. I've begun sticking my...
    bipolarPeter bipolarPeter 31-35, M 2 Responses May 8

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    My daughter is bipolar - most of the time she is ok with medication. But when she has a bad day I find it really difficult to cope with
    freefish21 freefish21 46-50, F 1 Response 5 days ago

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    The trials and tribulations that has happen in my life. I take responsibility of it, because I know the consequences that were going to happen. I'm not perfect, I'm just human that...
    Natashxxs Natashxxs 31-35, F May 13

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    When I was 13 I weighed 197 pounds and I was only 5'5". I've struggled for so long with my weight. I lost 30 pounds before I turned 14 and I've slowly gained it back. I'm tired of...
    socalboy99 socalboy99 22-25, M 1 Response May 18

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    Well, where do I begin. I recently turned 55 and so disgusted in how I look. I am about a good 20 lbs. over weight and age has definitely taken its toll. In 2013 I had some...
    bramco2015 bramco2015 51-55, F Apr 27

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    I once told my dad I didn't want dessert when I was feeling fat and he slammed a big jug of ice cream right in front of me with a spoon in it. can't he just respect me when I say...
    aileen2 aileen2 26-30, F 2 Responses Apr 27

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    I tell myself I won't get drunk, as soon as I've had a couple of pints, that's it, I'm on it then and can't stop, is there something wrong with me
    cafc1 cafc1 31-35, M 3 Responses Apr 27

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    I am super self conscious when i am naked and aroused for a couple certain reasons. I would like to extinguish this problem and be completely happy and feel free and good about...
    Littlejacki Littlejacki 26-30, M 1 Response Apr 28

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    I look ok today. I actually braved the mirror and didn't despise what I saw. For those of you who know me you will be aware that this is a huge deal for me. My history of physical...
    Superficialsaint Superficialsaint 31-35, F 4 Responses Apr 28

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    one day I'll look in the mirror and say "ok, i can work with this..." in the meantime I'll just loathe at the people who I perceive as "perfect"....
    jbm1984 jbm1984 31-35, F 12 Responses Apr 28

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    Hi im justin im 14 and i have been bullied for 3 years right now im on 8th grade but next year im going to high school and im scared i really cant stand it no more i wanna kill my...
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Apr 30

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    Life is a bitter sweet pill I am forced to take against my will Everyone trying to pull me Back into so called reality Why, I ask, what does it hold? Don't they see I have nothing...
    1986shanet 1986shanet 26-30, M May 5

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    I don't understand. I'm one of these people who just love. I try to get along with everyone, I have never wanted much, I don't ask for gifts. I love things made or are thoughtful...
    nolife1 nolife1 18-21, F May 6

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    I know I'm not ugly but I know I'm not as cute as I used to be. What makes it worse is that I fear I will never have the perfect body to fit in with the "gay scene " and it sucks.
    Lilman380 Lilman380 22-25, M 1 Response May 6

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    This life just isn't what it used to be. I have no job, no home, the clothes, shoes & perfumes I have are dwindling down to almost nothing. I'm recovering from a broken arm when I...
    mylifeoutloud mylifeoutloud 41-45, F 2 Responses May 7

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    I used to be thin and my boyfriend at the time (now my husband) couldn't get enough of me so I thought, two kids later, I'm not as fit and have stretch marks. He watches **** now...
    kari7755 kari7755 22-25, F 14 Responses May 7

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    "Sensitivity is a sign of life. Better hurt than hardened. I bow to those who keep their hearts open when it is most difficult, those who refuse to keep their armor on any longer...
    moonii moonii 18-21, F 1 Response May 7

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    Everyone in my family is fairly slim. My mother, aunt and grandmother were all models at some point. I wasn't a heavy child, but I had a bit of a stomach. They used to tie belts...
    insecured insecured 18-21, F 1 Response May 7

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    I no longer cut or burn myself, but I still do other harmful things like picking at my skins and scabs, pulling out my hair, biting my lip until it bleeds, digging my nails into my...
    NaturallyPeculiar NaturallyPeculiar 18-21, F 1 Response May 7

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    I used to be fit and healthy but now I have a belly and just touching it and feeling it jiggle the way it does nakes me really unhappy with myself...
    CrazyAussieGuyTwo CrazyAussieGuyTwo 18-21, M 1 Response May 9

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    Recently, ive quit a five year addiction, I had been swallowed up into this hole of no company, no friends, the people i knew? thieves, robbery and deceit were all these people...
    LifeChangedMe LifeChangedMe 18-21, F 2 Responses May 11

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    When I was in 6th grade we had the D.A.R.E program, but when I was in the 6th grade, drugs had already taken control of my life. I started drinking at a young age. I'm not gonna...
    Godheals0328 Godheals0328 18-21, F 1 Response May 11

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    I wish I was curvy with hips, bubble butt and big boobs..instead I'm trapped in this petite straight up and down boy body
    youreable youreable 26-30, F 1 Response May 11

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    I used to be very fit when I was younger, I was always running and exercising and loved being active. I became depressed and found that eating mentally helped me for some reason...
    groovyhugsbunny groovyhugsbunny 18-21, F 1 Response May 11

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