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I Struggle With Bipolar 1

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 43 People

    Bipolar And Relationships.

    I think of the stigma associated with mental problems and depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, and related conditions. The seemingly automatic, there’s-something-wrong-with-you kind of judgement. I think of myself and why I never quite felt right...
    Trancefreak Trancefreak 22-25, F 7 Responses Nov 15, 2009

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    I am in a mixed state of mania

    and depression today. Actually the last few days. My doctor said it's bc of my ptsd acting up. It makes my mood change second to second. And my "other one" is fighting to come out. I feel like I'm going crazy!!
    deleted deleted 26-30 3 Responses Mar 28

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    Memories

    I'm beginning to see medication as a reasonable alternative to my moods, but is this really right? Is this ridiculousness medication withdrawal (I've been off of Abilify for over a month) or am I really this rapid cycling? There's a maximum of one day at a normal mood between my...
    InvincibleHelpless InvincibleHelpless 16-17, F 1 Response Oct 26, 2012

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    My Head Won't Leave My Head Alone

    I was diagnosed with OCD when I was 17.  For years that's all I thought I had.  When I was 29 I was diagnosed with Bipolar 1 Disorder after almost accidentally killing myself with a mixture of vodka, valium, and Vicodin ES.  I had no intention of hurting myself but...
    silk123 silk123 31-35 1 Response Feb 7, 2008

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    Years Past And Years To Come

    You suddenly realize that people have roots and the world is lit up in the brightest of colours you are thinking clearer than everyone elsebutyourthoughtsflashbysoquicklylikesurrealistpoetryfishglue. And now you're laughing. Are you high? You get asked. Are you on drugs. You...
    InvincibleHelpless InvincibleHelpless 16-17, F 1 Response Oct 4, 2012

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    A Glimpse...

    You feel the energy pulsing through you. It throbs through every cell of your body. Your nerves are on fire, completely inflamed and outstretched, receptive to every whisper, any twitch of motion near you. Touch is so amplified. A pat becomes a slap, a light grasp a clutch, a...
    m2extreme m2extreme 31-35, F 13 Responses Jun 22, 2011

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    deleted deleted 26-30 Mar 19

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    Up Up Up Then Down Down Down

    Depression has been a part of my life as long as I can remember.  It plagued me as a child, teen, young adult then into adulthood.  Treated for depression since I was in my twenties I didn't recognized the up side of the disorder.  Needless to say I didn't go to the doctor...
    rubyetuesday rubyetuesday 56-60, F 2 Responses Apr 4, 2012

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    I Don't Stuggle!

    Yes, I am diagnosed with Bipolar Depressed Severe with Psychotic Features anf add to this Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and Acute Anxiety/Panic Disorder, and it all makes for an interesting day every day. Once you reach my age - 50 years- you start to get a bit wiser and...
    KrazyAuntKim KrazyAuntKim 46-50, F 1 Response Jan 6, 2013

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    I'm 16 and have bipolar 1 with psychotic

    features. I recently started to experience ultradian rapid cycling and am highly resistant to mood stabilizers and antipsychotics. Trying 7 different antipsychotics, my mind still raced. I experience almost all side effects so Im definitely never taking any again. I always have...
    MisterJones54321 MisterJones54321 22-25, M Nov 10

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    Related Experiences

    What first brought me to this site was a blog that I came across. I now see that this site has turned for the worst lol... Any who a few of us still use it to vent blog etc...
    simplelife60 simplelife60 22-25, F 2 Responses Nov 23

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    I have struggled with my body image for 7 years now and my father is partially to blame. He always dictated the things that I ate and told me that I needed to lose weight ect. And...
    JessicaTacos JessicaTacos 18-21, F 4 Responses Nov 24

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    2 years I struggled with self harm ... Scars on my wrist and thigh ... I haven't self harmed in over a year ... Just got my heart ripped out and stomped on .... I have my blade in...
    dyinginside4 dyinginside4 16-17, F 1 Response Nov 27

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    I am 28 years old. I started to dislike my body at 12... how is it possible that I have disliked my reflection for 16 years? I struggle with it daily and even when I change my self...
    ozzgrrl ozzgrrl 26-30, F 3 Responses Nov 28

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    I write this with my own experience in mind, I do not judge anyone yet I will 'preach' about how addiction can ruin your quality of life. I have struggled with opiates, but...
    TheCoitalQueen TheCoitalQueen 31-35, F 3 Responses Dec 6

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    I struggle with everything around me.. I am 26 years old and how could it be worse when your mother still call you a thousand times when you not come home in a week? I'm not 16...
    heartandbrain heartandbrain 26-30, F Dec 9

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    I feel so isolated and worthless, I've struggled with these feelings since I was a child.. I've grown so used to it I'm comfortable feeling this way which is sad, I can't keep...
    Britt4ny Britt4ny 70+, F 1 Response 23 hrs ago

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    Hi bipolar thing Can I I just feel one emotion for one day?! Not be in 8 moods in 7hrs. I don't wanna smile at people then turn around and be the devil I don't want to push away...
    fav777 fav777 18-21 Dec 3

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    I know he is real, but I feel like he "comes and goes". (Like exiting and opening a door) whenever he wants. I think the last time might've been my fault though. I know heaven...
    1lonelydaisy 1lonelydaisy 41-45 2 Responses Nov 21

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    But I love him, which just makes it more sad when I struggle <3
    thinkdeeper thinkdeeper 22-25, M Dec 5

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    Hence why the experience title has "struggled" meaning past tense.. Having an eating disorder is very difficult, at least for me it was. There were days i would just randomly...
    MichellexxLevine314 MichellexxLevine314 16-17, F 2 Responses Dec 9

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    Struggle is not the right word. I'm challenged maybe. On the outside I am a good girl and mostly I am, but I love sex..........love, love, love sex! All kinds! The funkier, the...
    YoloJones YoloJones 18-21, F 2 Responses 15 hrs ago

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    I struggle to eat even a small meal a day without worrying about my body
    itsjustlucy123 itsjustlucy123 13-15, F 1 Response Dec 10

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    I wonder why it seems one can only get accepted now a days if they go out and party and get drunk every weekend. Isn't there a way to connect with others without getting drunk or...
    alwayswatchingu alwayswatchingu 18-21, F Nov 19

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    How can The Lord be so loving, yet it feels like he is just playing a game with me? I feel like I hit a point where I finally might "have it" (what I think is true faith) only to...
    1lonelydaisy 1lonelydaisy 41-45 Nov 21

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    I have been addicted to opiates for almost two years now. It started with a surgery,then a series of surgeries and a car wreck. I do have issues with pain that justify taking them...
    Emmigale Emmigale 41-45, F 1 Response Nov 21

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    I feel pressured to be muscly like those guys with big biceps and pecs, but I really don't.
    haygreen98 haygreen98 16-17, M Nov 22

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    I have an addiction with nicotine and alcohol... I refuse to see a counselor because when I'm there I'll deny till the death of me
    youguyssuck69 youguyssuck69 18-21, M 1 Response Nov 25

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    I purged the 3rd time yesterday... Before I was only restricted type. Than I started to exercise and also chew and spit and finally also purge... I'm forced to eat and need to put...
    fatuglyduckling fatuglyduckling 22-25, F 2 Responses Nov 25

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    I remember being able to walk up to a stranger, compliment them on something, and then we hit it off from there. I don't know what happened between then and now but now I can't...
    SweetcakesJr SweetcakesJr 13-15, F Nov 25

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    I find that when I am late to something (event/work/sports) or remember something that i forgot to do, I shut down and go into a reclusive state, where I find I can't socialize...
    RiverWilson RiverWilson 18-21, F 1 Response Nov 25

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    As I leave my flat at Webb house supported housing for people with mental health issues I walk down the road and I walk in mark & Spenser in middlesbrough I stand before the mirror...
    lostsouluk lostsouluk 31-35, F 10 Responses Nov 26

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    “I want to be alone… with someone else who wants to be alone.” Dimitri Zaik.
    chris23cnm chris23cnm 22-25, M Nov 27

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    Purged last night. Saw so much blood but I'm so used to seeing blood when I purge it doesn't scare me. I know I should be more worried but I just don't care. I'm feeled with apathy...
    yonnie97 yonnie97 16-17, F Nov 27

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    I'm ashamed to look at people, I don't want them to see my ugliness. I always, always.. think on how I look from third person, every angle, every lighting condition, and it gets me...
    xRiax xRiax 18-21, F 4 Responses Nov 28

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    I started self harming three years ago I don't do it a lot I do it when I can't take it anymore. I first self harmed when I found out that dad cheated on mom and I felt so bad I...
    Busexx Busexx 16-17, F Nov 28

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    Im finding things really hard at the moment. People don't really understand but then again I dont really understand my own feelings, so why should anyone else? I can't go to school...
    sademptynothing sademptynothing 13-15, F 1 Response Nov 28

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    I visited a psychiatrist for the first time today because I have an attention problem and she prescribed me an attention deficit medicine without screening me so anxiety washed all...
    psychedelicblues psychedelicblues 18-21, F 3 Responses Nov 29

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    I've never hated myself before. But recently I'm struggling with is. less hating who am, but more hating who I was. a weak needy person. I know I'm not that person anymore but...
    0815Jade 0815Jade 22-25, F 1 Response Dec 4

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    In this moment I feel like the same little girl who desperately knocked on her neighbors doors looking for someone to play with. Wandering around outside looking for a friend. Here...
    Shygirl917 Shygirl917 18-21, F Dec 5

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    I managed to go almost a year without many slip ups :( and now I'm suffering again. Every time I eat I feel guilty, but then I feel guilt if I don't eat. I'm fighting with myself...
    Tilly95 Tilly95 18-21, F Dec 7

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    I’m in big big panic… I gained weight. Didn’t weight me on the scale since 2 weeks however today even my pants were fitting (34 slim cut) which were really lose at my belly...
    fatuglyduckling fatuglyduckling 22-25, F Dec 8

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    I’m in big big panic… I gained weight. Didn’t weight me on the scale since 2 weeks however today even my pants were fitting (34 slim cut) which were really lose at my belly...
    fatuglyduckling fatuglyduckling 22-25, F 1 Response Dec 8

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    It's nearly impossible for me to do. People don't care about anything unless they're getting something out of knowing you. I can't be bothered with people like that!
    RememberingSunday22 RememberingSunday22 36-40, F Dec 9

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    i cant eat more that one small meal a day without being worried about my body
    wantthistoend wantthistoend 13-15, F 3 Responses Dec 10

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    Whether it be from job interviews or people its a hard thing to deal with... When someone ignores me I take it as rejection as well.. it started from my mother because she has...
    Gaffa1234 Gaffa1234 22-25, F Dec 10

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