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I Struggle With Bipolar 1

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 31 People

    Years Past And Years To Come

    You suddenly realize that people have roots and the world is lit up in the brightest of colours you are thinking clearer than everyone elsebutyourthoughtsflashbysoquicklylikesurrealistpoetryfishglue. And now you're laughing. Are you high? You get asked. Are you on drugs. You...
    InvincibleHelpless InvincibleHelpless 13-15, F 1 Response Oct 4, 2012

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    I am in a mixed state of mania

    and depression today. Actually the last few days. My doctor said it's bc of my ptsd acting up. It makes my mood change second to second. And my "other one" is fighting to come out. I feel like I'm going crazy!!
    deleted deleted 26-30 5 Responses Mar 28

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    Memories

    I'm beginning to see medication as a reasonable alternative to my moods, but is this really right? Is this ridiculousness medication withdrawal (I've been off of Abilify for over a month) or am I really this rapid cycling? There's a maximum of one day at a normal mood between my...
    InvincibleHelpless InvincibleHelpless 13-15, F 1 Response Oct 26, 2012

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    My Head Won't Leave My Head Alone

    I was diagnosed with OCD when I was 17.  For years that's all I thought I had.  When I was 29 I was diagnosed with Bipolar 1 Disorder after almost accidentally killing myself with a mixture of vodka, valium, and Vicodin ES.  I had no intention of hurting myself but...
    silk123 silk123 31-35 1 Response Feb 7, 2008

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    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Mar 19

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    I Don't Stuggle!

    Yes, I am diagnosed with Bipolar Depressed Severe with Psychotic Features anf add to this Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and Acute Anxiety/Panic Disorder, and it all makes for an interesting day every day. Once you reach my age - 50 years- you start to get a bit wiser and...
    KrazyAuntKim KrazyAuntKim 46-50, F 1 Response Jan 6, 2013

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    Up Up Up Then Down Down Down

    Depression has been a part of my life as long as I can remember.  It plagued me as a child, teen, young adult then into adulthood.  Treated for depression since I was in my twenties I didn't recognized the up side of the disorder.  Needless to say I didn't go to the doctor...
    rubyetuesday rubyetuesday 56-60, F 2 Responses Apr 4, 2012

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    Bipolar And Relationships.

    I think of the stigma associated with mental problems and depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, and related conditions. The seemingly automatic, there’s-something-wrong-with-you kind of judgement. I think of myself and why I never quite felt right...
    Trancefreak Trancefreak 22-25, F 7 Responses Nov 15, 2009

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    A Glimpse...

    You feel the energy pulsing through you. It throbs through every cell of your body. Your nerves are on fire, completely inflamed and outstretched, receptive to every whisper, any twitch of motion near you. Touch is so amplified. A pat becomes a slap, a light grasp a clutch, a...
    m2extreme m2extreme 31-35, F 14 Responses Jun 22, 2011

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    Related Experiences

    I have struggled with a eating disorder for the last 5 years. I thought once i got to my "goal" weight i would stop and life would go on. Every time i reached my "goal" i would say...
    erika614 erika614 18-21, F 1 Response Mar 20

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    I recently got charged with a dui and Although I am grateful I did not hurt anyone or myself, I am beginning to really struggle with the mistake I made and the aftermath it has...
    anonymously3737 anonymously3737 22-25, F 5 Responses Mar 21

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    It sounds really dumb, but I struggle with communicating my feelings and problems with others, even friends and family. Why? I guess part of it is forming a mindset that I am...
    niknak7 niknak7 16-17, F Mar 24

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    I've struggled with various eating disorders since being bullied at 11 years old, but the anorexia vs bulimia was the worst. I never lost or gained enough weight for anybody to...
    MMXIV MMXIV 18-21, F Mar 31

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    I am single christian guy who struggles with homosexuality. I have being struggling with it since I was a teenager.I am now 24 and the battle is far from over. I am trusting in God...
    ronwhent47 ronwhent47 22-25, M 1 Response Apr 1

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    I finally understood, Why I'm so attention seeking Why I behave like this Why I struggle with my self confidence It's all because of the past, that I've never told anyone. I...
    prettybr0wneyes prettybr0wneyes 13-15, F 1 Response Apr 3

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    I struggle with life everyday, I thought nearly dying would make me feel different but it does not, if anything worse and I don't know why
    godswish49 godswish49 46-50, M 3 Responses Apr 4

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    I lost all my friends,I feel detached from everything and everyone,I struggle with anxiety and get severe panic attacks every time I go out,I can't take it anymore,I harm myself...
    intoxicatxd intoxicatxd 16-17, F 2 Responses Apr 6

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    "Struggle with it" may be the wrong description. It always wins. :( It has been prevalent in my life and it ain't no fun...
    MatureNotDead MatureNotDead 51-55, M Apr 6

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    Hi I am struggle with self harm I want to cut myself
    sarah12389 sarah12389 26-30, F Apr 6

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    Can someone help me understand what a manic episode can be like? I understand manic episodes can vary widely depending on the person. I have a great friend in high school who I met...
    LovesWarrior LovesWarrior 18-21, F 1 Response Apr 7

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    I struggled for a long time. I would take appetite suppressants or eat only skittles for days on end. And I would force myself to work out for hours almost everyday. Young straight...
    pablobravotx pablobravotx 26-30, M 1 Response Apr 3

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    I don't even know why. I have people who I know I can trust, yet I have trust issues. I never really trust them with my feelings. I have people who I know really love me, yet I...
    Awanputih Awanputih 18-21 Apr 6

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    I miss the old me. The hyper me, go out and have fun me! I'm so tired of looking at four walls. There are days it takes all I have to get out of the bed. Feeling like my legs are...
    zanyzoey zanyzoey 36-40, F 4 days ago

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    Ever since this girl first walked into our school for the first time, I couldn't take my eyes off her, and I know I probably wasn't the only one gazing at her beauty. Through my...
    elugo123456789 elugo123456789 18-21, M Apr 6

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    Hello, I'm Sevine. And I'm struggling with my body image. I've always wanted to be that skinny girl with flat stomach when I was young. I grew up and I changed my mind. I wanted to...
    Blossomlilly Blossomlilly 18-21, F 2 Responses Mar 24

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    I hate being so skinny :/ I am gluten free can't eat anything I love :/ makes me poorly n it's just so hard to gain weight :/ it's so annoying when people say **** n your like be...
    RaniFkayy RaniFkayy 18-21, F 3 Responses Mar 24

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    This is the second episode I have gone through in my life. The first one was when I was 20 and lasted a year and a half. Now I am 37 and have been in this for 7 months with no end...
    Mingus411 Mingus411 36-40, F Mar 25

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    Most of my life i have always viewed myself as bigger than others. I am not sure why, i have always felt like i was not good enough or worthy of anyones time. My girls see pictures...
    confused623 confused623 36-40, F Mar 25

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    It's really hard to deal with a mental illness. In class if a teacher asks a question that I'm supposed to know the answer to, but dont. Everyone will mock me and call me retard...
    matti1342 matti1342 13-15, F 1 Response Mar 29

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    It really bugs me when people say that only skinny people have an eating disorder. I just hit 130lbs for the first time and I've honestly been anxious about it for days. But would...
    runningwithbears runningwithbears 18-21, F 1 Response Mar 30

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    Rejection can turn ur life around to the worst. This is worsest thing which can happen to you, if you really loved a person with all your heart.
    angel8i angel8i 31-35, F 1 Response Apr 1

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    i have never been happy with myself, even as a very young child i was always concerned with my body and the rest of my looks, and sometimes i wonder if ill ever grow out of this
    bongripper1 bongripper1 16-17, F 18 Responses Apr 3

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    Dear EP, Mood: Apathetic I'll spare you the details of my gory life :}D Even though the gore is mostly in my head :{( Don't worry I'll spare you from hearing the Emo Song come...
    SquirrellyChanLuvsAcorns83 SquirrellyChanLuvsAcorns83 18-21 Apr 4

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    Throughout my younger teenage years I dealt with bulimia really bad. I had no idea what to do with my life anymore, I didn't want that for myself, I didn't want to be that way, no...
    bxttlebxrn bxttlebxrn 16-17, F Apr 6

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    I'm 34 with no college education working as a pizza delivery guy. Anything I remotely want to do is something I can't get into. I'm stuck at minimum wage.
    CptJackRabbit CptJackRabbit 31-35, M Apr 8

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    Over the last few years I've had problems with trusting people or opening up to near enough anyone. Some fo my now ex friends have moved to a different school and turned nasty...
    BloofWolfFang BloofWolfFang 16-17, F Apr 8

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    I just want to thank everyone on EP who gave me compliments on my body pictures. I've been struggling with body image issues my whole life and I'm amazed at the positive feedback I...
    Dreamer32 Dreamer32 22-25, F 2 Responses Apr 8

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    My apologies but I am going to skip past all the intro bits. I am really struggling tonight. I have a part that i have pushed away for years. I have ignored her and squashed her...
    dreshany dreshany 36-40, F a week ago

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    You were enthused to see me. Estatic. It made me feel special. But it also made me feel scared. I was nervous. I didn't know what to do with that emotion. I accepted it the best...
    Shoutittotheworld23 Shoutittotheworld23 26-30, M 2 days ago

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    I love my kid but hate patenting at times. I am going on 40 with a 4 year old and at times we clash dearly. I had a kid late in life and my career also began late in life. I am...
    Gemifox Gemifox 36-40, F 1 day ago

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    I think I found someone who has the most incredible power over me... he takes away my anxiety..... NO ONE has ever been able to do that. I usually just get, "get over it". Sorry...
    KrisMiss KrisMiss 22-25, F 1 Response Mar 20

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    I think I have body dysmorphia.
    TheBigGirl TheBigGirl 18-21, F 1 Response Mar 24

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    I'm so tired of having to be everyone else's back bone but when I need help no one is their. I'm so stressed and depressed I need a way out.
    annamarie98 annamarie98 16-17, F 1 Response Mar 25

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    Day #2 of b/p free YAY :-) Still feel that binge from 2 days ago yes I know it was really quite bad. Skipped lunch but I have to eat dinner bcos I don't want my family to suspect I...
    ELSAhugsyou ELSAhugsyou 18-21, F Apr 1

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    It scares me how deep and power my feelings of self loathing can be but I'm determined to overcome this.
    AmeliasDay AmeliasDay 26-30, F 3 Responses Apr 1

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    Feeling envy sometimes.... not good I know but I can't stop that feeling right now. Some people I know who already got their cases done so they would go to USA soon.... It would be...
    fakelife2013 fakelife2013 26-30 Apr 4

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    I feel terribly disgusted when I look at myself in the mirror. But I can't stop shoveling food into my mouth. I love the taste of food, the act of eating. But I hate the way my...
    megatron2000 megatron2000 22-25, F 2 Responses Apr 5

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    Ok so my spring break ends today,and I have school tomorrow,I got depersonalization over the holidays and I have a fear of going out because the moment I got out,I get anxiety and...
    intoxicatxd intoxicatxd 16-17, F 1 Response Apr 7

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    So I'm already self conscious and in the last month my dad has told me I look awful in a skirt and said " are you sure that shirt is the right size because it looks too tight" now...
    Rebeccaej Rebeccaej 13-15, F 26 Responses Apr 8

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    I haven't drive in 3 weeks and today I was on a major highway while it was pisspouring. For some reason I was convinced my brakes weren't going to work. They did and I'm fine. But...
    Nerdbooklover Nerdbooklover 26-30, F 4 Responses Apr 9

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    Has anyone here ever cried over a meal as well? I mean literally having a mental breakdown, tears piling everywhere all over a single meal because you feel you do not deserve it...
    Lucile199 Lucile199 18-21, F Apr 10

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