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I Struggle With Bipolar 1

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 50 People

    Years Past And Years To Come

    You suddenly realize that people have roots and the world is lit up in the brightest of colours you are thinking clearer than everyone elsebutyourthoughtsflashbysoquicklylikesurrealistpoetryfishglue. And now you're laughing. Are you high? You get asked. Are you on drugs. You...
    InvincibleHelpless InvincibleHelpless 16-17, F 1 Response Oct 4, 2012

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    Memories

    I'm beginning to see medication as a reasonable alternative to my moods, but is this really right? Is this ridiculousness medication withdrawal (I've been off of Abilify for over a month) or am I really this rapid cycling? There's a maximum of one day at a normal mood between my...
    InvincibleHelpless InvincibleHelpless 16-17, F 1 Response Oct 26, 2012

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    Bipolar And Relationships.

    I think of the stigma associated with mental problems and depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, and related conditions. The seemingly automatic, there’s-something-wrong-with-you kind of judgement. I think of myself and why I never quite felt right...
    Trancefreak Trancefreak 22-25, F 8 Responses Nov 15, 2009

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    I am in a mixed state of mania

    and depression today. Actually the last few days. My doctor said it's bc of my ptsd acting up. It makes my mood change second to second. And my "other one" is fighting to come out. I feel like I'm going crazy!!
    deleted deleted 26-30 3 Responses Mar 28, 2014

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    Springtime is especially hard

    for me. Depression hits hard and antidepressants only make me ultra rapid cycle. My dr has me on a new antidepressant called Brintellix. I've been on it for a month and a half and still struggle with depression. For the most part, I am stable... Except in spring. And it makes me...
    SeaOfMonsters SeaOfMonsters 26-30, F Apr 28

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    I'm 16 and have bipolar 1 with psychotic

    features. I recently started to experience ultradian rapid cycling and am highly resistant to mood stabilizers and antipsychotics. Trying 7 different antipsychotics, my mind still raced. I experience almost all side effects so Im definitely never taking any again. I always have...
    MisterJones54321 MisterJones54321 22-25, M Nov 10, 2014

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    Up Up Up Then Down Down Down

    Depression has been a part of my life as long as I can remember.  It plagued me as a child, teen, young adult then into adulthood.  Treated for depression since I was in my twenties I didn't recognized the up side of the disorder.  Needless to say I didn't go to the doctor...
    rubyetuesday rubyetuesday 56-60, F 2 Responses Apr 4, 2012

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    My Head Won't Leave My Head Alone

    I was diagnosed with OCD when I was 17.  For years that's all I thought I had.  When I was 29 I was diagnosed with Bipolar 1 Disorder after almost accidentally killing myself with a mixture of vodka, valium, and Vicodin ES.  I had no intention of hurting myself but...
    silk123 silk123 31-35 1 Response Feb 7, 2008

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    A Glimpse...

    You feel the energy pulsing through you. It throbs through every cell of your body. Your nerves are on fire, completely inflamed and outstretched, receptive to every whisper, any twitch of motion near you. Touch is so amplified. A pat becomes a slap, a light grasp a clutch, a...
    m2extreme m2extreme 31-35, F 12 Responses Jun 22, 2011

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    I Don't Stuggle!

    Yes, I am diagnosed with Bipolar Depressed Severe with Psychotic Features anf add to this Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and Acute Anxiety/Panic Disorder, and it all makes for an interesting day every day. Once you reach my age - 50 years- you start to get a bit wiser and...
    KrazyAuntKim KrazyAuntKim 46-50, F 1 Response Jan 6, 2013

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    deleted deleted 26-30 Mar 19, 2014

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    Related Experiences

    I'm falling deeply in love & it's not going away.
    iusedtolovemyself iusedtolovemyself 46-50, F 1 Response 16 hrs ago

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    I'm not living, I'm existing, and I'm just barely existing. I really haven't changed much from birth to now. As far back as I can recall, I was always avoidant, dumb, and alone...
    astateofdisarray astateofdisarray 18-21, F 1 day ago

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    I honestly love this person and I have a lot to learn about bipolar disorder.
    iusedtolovemyself iusedtolovemyself 46-50, F 2 Responses 1 day ago

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    I don't like to say I have, or have had, an eating disorder because I feel it is somewhat unfair to those who's lives have been dangerously altered or taken by it. However, I'm...
    TeaspoonEm17 TeaspoonEm17 16-17, F 2 days ago

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    I can't deal with my anxiety anymore!! It is interfering with my life and I can't do daily things normally now. I have had it my whole life and it has gotten so much worse. I tried...
    CrazyMetalPunk CrazyMetalPunk 13-15, F 2 Responses 3 days ago

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    We may have potentially found some real solutions to help with my anxiety. I'm a little nervous, but I think it would all work out for the best. The only help we have gotten was...
    vault101 vault101 26-30, F 3 days ago

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    I was diagnosed when I was 19 and stopped my medication abruptly as I hated taking them. I went on several years with depression, panic attacks, and suicidal thoughts and in denial...
    heyimokay heyimokay 26-30, F 4 days ago

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    I have a real problem with my self image because I think im to fat and its causing me to eat less and that doesn't help so I don't eat at all, and that helps some, but not as much...
    wolfy299 wolfy299 13-15, M 3 Responses 5 days ago

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    I hate my nose. My nostrils are too big and the bridge of my nose is too flat. I hate my lips. They're dry no matter how much I take care of them. I hate my neck. I wish it was...
    PinksTheNewBlack PinksTheNewBlack 13-15, F 9 Responses 5 days ago

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    Please read with care, and take steps to keep yourself feeling safe and secure, if reading about body image and associated topics are triggering for you. I’m your stereotypical...
    ChocolateCurvesModel ChocolateCurvesModel 31-35, F 3 Responses 6 days ago

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    I'm on the edge. I need to kno how to fix my life so I don't care. I kno how to talk without going Blank or crying.. I care to much. That when I show the little of no care. People...
    UnknownBeautyQueen UnknownBeautyQueen 22-25, F 6 days ago

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    With every passing day...I hate myself just a little more. I look into any a mirror and feel myself breaking with the loathing as I look at the face before me....So grotesque and...
    EclecticDay EclecticDay 22-25, F 1 Response 6 days ago

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    I am addicted to anything I start. I have been addicted to **** since I was 13 years old, I have been addicted to video games so much that for 5 years I only left my house to...
    Somonkey76 Somonkey76 36-40, M a week ago

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    I have a weird addiction with baby powder that I can't control every time I'm stressed or depressed even mad I eat it sometimes even snort it I'm trying to break it but it's so...
    blaackroses blaackroses 18-21, F 1 Response Jun 23

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    My biggest weakness is probably not allowing myself to be vulnerable around people that genuinely care about me. I can cry in public surrounded by strangers or by myself, but if I...
    SapphicMinion SapphicMinion 26-30, F 4 Responses Jun 22

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    Constantly torn between owning my body and not caring what others think and then totally lacking self confidence as I see beautiful, fit women all around me with a body I haven't...
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Jun 21

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    He said he was giving up and then took it back. He told he wouldn't give up on me, but my mind won't let it be. I woke up yesterday morning and my chest was aching from my heart...
    vault101 vault101 26-30, F 1 Response Jun 21

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    **** happens and we have to deal with the deck of cards we have been given Sometimes you win sometimes you lose, sometimes you bluff your way through it, sometimes you pass or team...
    kimchiaddict kimchiaddict 36-40, M 1 Response Jun 20

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    Dear Dr Stephanie I'm very thankful for all the time ,advice and therapy you ve given me ..I have benefited very much from those session and my life is much darker without your...
    Powerlesss Powerlesss 31-35, F 1 Response Jun 20

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    When I look myself in the mirror I see a lot of ugliness and little prettiness so I cover the ugliness with skinny jeans and a sweater even if it's hot*i know it's pathetic but...
    7J99 7J99 13-15, F 2 Responses Jun 19

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    Im 16 & hate my body and body shape...Im in love with the body shape: wide hips, small thighs and thigh gap, big butt, tiny waist and big boobs. it's so perfect to me but my body...
    javvv javvv 18-21, F 4 Responses Jun 17

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    I have struggled with being overweight my entire life. I have good days and bad days about my body. I try to think positive all the time. Surround yourself with positive, don't...
    SammyPoo91 SammyPoo91 22-25, F Jun 17

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    I'm sad ...I feel everywhere I go I'm looked down on and disrespected by people ...I hate humans ...they have hurted me so much even my parents have treated me badly and persecuted...
    Powerlesss Powerlesss 31-35, F Jun 17

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    I am a firm believer that the experiences we go through in life do many positive things for us. Even if those experiences caused us pain and hardships. They help us in so many ways...
    souldigger7 souldigger7 22-25, F 2 Responses Jun 17

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    My previous boyfriends, strangers, family members, and friends all compliment my body. I have a slight muffin top, nothing horrible, but I have 34-B breasts, and a slight behind...
    hahanerd hahanerd 18-21, F 1 Response Jun 16

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    I'm literally a walking twig with a pizza face. Doesn't look healthy.
    reivven reivven 13-15, F 2 Responses Jun 16

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    I've been single now for over a year, and I'm not comfortable with my body image. What makes it worse is that I meet men who bluntly ask to have sex, or as the latest one put it...
    redheadedmelly redheadedmelly 22-25, F 5 Responses Jun 16

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    I hate my obesse body. I can't get good job even though my gpa is high. I can't express my self really well cuz i'm afraid they will laugh at me. I had horrible past with this body...
    efyeew efyeew 22-25, F 2 Responses Jun 16

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    I wish I have never worked at hotel du vin Brighton ,I got terrorised and traumatised there enough by the head housekeeper and the French bar manager ..both of them hated me and...
    Powerlesss Powerlesss 31-35, F 1 Response Jun 16

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    Im currently trying very hard to lose weight over the summer to make myself be more confident. The fist week i was doing very well but then i completely slipped. Now im better...
    zivilexox zivilexox 18-21, F 1 Response Jun 16

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    Necrophilia I eventually realised that I was just a delusional idiot who waisted their time ,money and passion on men who did not think of me more than a piece of trash ..I started...
    Powerlesss Powerlesss 31-35, F 2 Responses Jun 16

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