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I Struggle With Bipolar 1

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 37 People

    Up Up Up Then Down Down Down

    Depression has been a part of my life as long as I can remember.  It plagued me as a child, teen, young adult then into adulthood.  Treated for depression since I was in my twenties I didn't recognized the up side of the disorder.  Needless to say I didn't go to the doctor...
    rubyetuesday rubyetuesday 56-60, F 2 Responses Apr 4, 2012

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    I am in a mixed state of mania

    and depression today. Actually the last few days. My doctor said it's bc of my ptsd acting up. It makes my mood change second to second. And my "other one" is fighting to come out. I feel like I'm going crazy!!
    deleted deleted 26-30 4 Responses Mar 28

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    Years Past And Years To Come

    You suddenly realize that people have roots and the world is lit up in the brightest of colours you are thinking clearer than everyone elsebutyourthoughtsflashbysoquicklylikesurrealistpoetryfishglue. And now you're laughing. Are you high? You get asked. Are you on drugs. You...
    InvincibleHelpless InvincibleHelpless 16-17, F 1 Response Oct 4, 2012

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    Bipolar And Relationships.

    I think of the stigma associated with mental problems and depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, and related conditions. The seemingly automatic, there’s-something-wrong-with-you kind of judgement. I think of myself and why I never quite felt right...
    Trancefreak Trancefreak 22-25, F 8 Responses Nov 15, 2009

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    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Mar 19

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    I Don't Stuggle!

    Yes, I am diagnosed with Bipolar Depressed Severe with Psychotic Features anf add to this Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and Acute Anxiety/Panic Disorder, and it all makes for an interesting day every day. Once you reach my age - 50 years- you start to get a bit wiser and...
    KrazyAuntKim KrazyAuntKim 46-50, F 1 Response Jan 6, 2013

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    Memories

    I'm beginning to see medication as a reasonable alternative to my moods, but is this really right? Is this ridiculousness medication withdrawal (I've been off of Abilify for over a month) or am I really this rapid cycling? There's a maximum of one day at a normal mood between my...
    InvincibleHelpless InvincibleHelpless 16-17, F 1 Response Oct 26, 2012

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    My Head Won't Leave My Head Alone

    I was diagnosed with OCD when I was 17.  For years that's all I thought I had.  When I was 29 I was diagnosed with Bipolar 1 Disorder after almost accidentally killing myself with a mixture of vodka, valium, and Vicodin ES.  I had no intention of hurting myself but...
    silk123 silk123 31-35 1 Response Feb 7, 2008

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    A Glimpse...

    You feel the energy pulsing through you. It throbs through every cell of your body. Your nerves are on fire, completely inflamed and outstretched, receptive to every whisper, any twitch of motion near you. Touch is so amplified. A pat becomes a slap, a light grasp a clutch, a...
    m2extreme m2extreme 31-35, F 14 Responses Jun 22, 2011

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    For all of you fighting this,

    I'm one of you, I write a blog, on how I fight my everyday life.. How I cope with being a full time student and at the same time fighting depression and bipolar http://bipolar2medstudent.blogspot.com/
    Lily449 Lily449 18-21, F Sep 12

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    Related Experiences

    a few months ago i was diagnosed with bipolar. I already knew though. I hate not being in control of my emotions. I am on a generic version of seroquel it works good. I feel weird...
    Dsanders13 Dsanders13 16-17, F Sep 11

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    I have depression, I have been diagnosed and prescribed the med necessary to allow me to function without breaking down in tears at every hardship. I also struggle with PTSD from...
    1lastcupcake 1lastcupcake 22-25, F Sep 17

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    I've struggled with one assignment over the past few weeks tremendously. I've been breaking down. I prayed to God to help me get through this and I ended watching the devil wears...
    chaoticallycosmosme chaoticallycosmosme 26-30, M Sep 1

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    I struggle with my body image and usually I won't wear girly clothes but today I found 2 identical dresses with different patterns that I absolutely fell in love with. I could've...
    fallout07 fallout07 18-21, F 4 Responses Sep 2

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    Hey I'm new to EP and here is my experience: I am gay and struggle with being gay. Recently I am friends with someone who is soooo unique. I am so happy he entered my life because...
    Miwabromam Miwabromam 16-17, M 3 Responses Sep 2

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    I have a hard time adjusting to new patterns and new flows. Changing teachers every year, is a struggle with me. And moving away (even if in the same school district) is a...
    wonderousgirl wonderousgirl 16-17 Sep 7

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    What started as anorexia has now been an endless struggle with binge eating, restricting and anorexia relapses for over 11 years. I'm at a healthy weight so everyone thinks I'm...
    MLockeven MLockeven 31-35, F Sep 12

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    I'm smaller than I was (in my last post under "I struggle with my body image") But I have gained weight.. I am now 93.8lbs instead of 92 I am such a ******* failure....
    GabriellaFae GabriellaFae 13-15, F 3 Responses Sep 13

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    For all of you fighting this, I'm one of you, I write a blog, on how I fight my everyday life.. How I cope with being a full time student and at the same time fighting depression...
    Lily449 Lily449 18-21, F Sep 12

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    For all of you fighting this, I'm one of you, I write a blog, on how I fight my everyday life.. How I cope with being a full time student and at the same time fighting depression...
    Lily449 Lily449 18-21, F Sep 12

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    For all of you fighting this, I'm one of you, I write a blog, on how I fight my everyday life.. How I cope with being a full time student and at the same time fighting depression...
    Lily449 Lily449 18-21, F Sep 12

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    For all of you fighting this, I'm one of you, I write a blog, on how I fight my everyday life.. How I cope with being a full time student and at the same time fighting depression...
    Lily449 Lily449 18-21, F 18 hrs ago

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    The struggle is always there. My struggle has gotten a tiny bit better thanks to my bf but.... Day after day after day I still struggle and even though I fit into some clothes I...
    willieverbegoodenough willieverbegoodenough 22-25, F 2 Responses 4 days ago

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    I just can't seem to get over the fact that I like men. I don't like girls, but I can't seem to get over myself enough to date a guy. But I want to be in a relationship, but with...
    Spazz238 Spazz238 16-17, M 2 Responses Aug 30

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    I remember reading an old picture that I drew. It said " Love myself and my mom." I've lost that genuine love for myself when I turned 8. I would also be out of place my whole life...
    jellyrolls34 jellyrolls34 18-21, F Aug 31

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    For me life every moment is almost struggle
    edpd1951 edpd1951 61-65, M 2 Responses Sep 3

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    People close to me feel I am very obsessed with myself. I may agree to it. Yes I am self obsessed. The reason probably is that I don't like the way I look and am constantly...
    uselessguy uselessguy 36-40, M 2 Responses Sep 4

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    Recovery... Realising your worth it. Experiencing true happiness. Caring about yourself. Over coming your own demons. Validating your worth it. Eating with no regret. Relapse, its...
    TheGirlFullOfSecrets TheGirlFullOfSecrets 13-15, F Sep 6

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    Ok. I need to get this one out as a declaration of my new fitness goal. It might be a taboo idea, but my new goal has been inspired by the fact that I am reuniting with a friend of...
    piprimate piprimate 26-30, F 1 Response Sep 8

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    For as much **** as I ate in the past week or 2, surprised I haven't gained and my face hasn't gotten any rounder because of retaining water weight due to the sodium content. I...
    fallout07 fallout07 18-21, F 1 Response Sep 13

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    I'm 5"8 and weigh 124 pounds at the moment... For years, I never really considered my weight or body image, but my brother started calling me fat and for some reason it really...
    starvingshadows starvingshadows 18-21, F 4 Responses Sep 13

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    I think Healthy is Beautiful A lot of people say, "skinny is beautiful." and others object saying, "Curvy girls are much more better." However, out of all these preferences of how...
    Wewerethereinthattime Wewerethereinthattime 18-21, F 3 Responses Sep 13

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    Ugh, I've actually been dealing with this a lot lately. It's a day to day process towards being okay with myself. Repeat to self: I am okay the way I look regardless of what...
    JadedDivinity JadedDivinity 18-21, F Sep 13

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    I am currently seeking therapy for it. It's strange to say that I have social anxiety because I am a private person, and I enjoy spending time by myself. However, there are times I...
    Close2You Close2You 26-30, M Sep 14

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    I can't remember the last time I looked in the mirror and thought I looked good. In fact, I don't look in the mirror full stop as I'm scared it will crack. I am so self conscious...
    HollowHeart17 HollowHeart17 16-17, F 1 Response Sep 19

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    I'm obsessed about what I want in life and can't get it out of my head. Its nothing uncommon at all but I know without work and complaining all the time wouldn't change anything. I...
    Quentine Quentine 22-25, F 2 Responses Sep 21

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    I have lived and survived a life of poverty and abuse..all of them...emotional, physical, sexual etc. I'm also a product of my generation..smart and a late bloomer, life...
    khewster khewster 31-35, F 5 Responses a week ago

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    The other night, a woman other than my wife told me that I was an attractive guy. A few months ago at a concert I went to alone, a woman started speaking with me and told me that...
    mydreamsonly mydreamsonly 31-35, M 1 Response 6 days ago

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    Right now I'm amidst a panic attack and I am out in public, need to collect new glasses, anyway I'm increasingly worried and as an effect paranoia is setting in as I see people...
    PoeticMute PoeticMute 31-35, M 1 Response 6 days ago

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    I'm okay living with imperfect people and an imperfect life. We're human we can't explore without mistakes, and I'm okay with difficult people, or at least I try. ;)
    kiddishguy kiddishguy 26-30, M 5 days ago

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    I feel strong emotions, but have trouble expressing them. Sadness at some points, and appreciation for the few people I have runs deep, but I don't know how to tell the truth...
    Almostanonymous Almostanonymous 22-25, M 1 Response 4 days ago

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    Loose Gravel kicked up and down the throat of the mountain. Big britches to fill she sings to herself, as she digs down with her bony fingers into the craggy wall of self discovery...
    faintking faintking 26-30, M 1 Response 1 day ago

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    Day by day keeps my therapist paid
    Alylovespuppies Alylovespuppies 18-21, F Sep 12

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    I've crossed some kind of invisible line. I feel as if I've come to a place I never thought I'd have to come to. And I don't know how I got here. It's a strange place. It's a place...
    channy86 channy86 26-30, F Aug 30

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    I can't understand why you enjoy looking at me, accepting all of my flaws like they don't matter at all. I wish I knew what it was like to see myself in your eyes:(
    fallout07 fallout07 18-21, F 1 Response Aug 30

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    Why can't I stop? Why can't I die?
    thalassinia thalassinia 13-15, F 3 Responses Sep 1

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    I am so ******* fat!! I can't stand this anymore! I'm a ******* whale!! Why can't I just ******* be skinny!! That is all I freaking want! Pleasssee!!! ;-;
    GabriellaFae GabriellaFae 13-15, F 9 Responses Sep 1

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    I wish I could look how I look when I'm laying down like in my cover image. It's gotten to bother me when cuddling because I feel like he feels all my fat and is repulsed by me...I...
    fallout07 fallout07 18-21, F 7 Responses Sep 1

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