Post
Experience Project iOS Android Apps | Download EP for your Mobile Device

I Struggle With Bipolar 1

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 47 People

    Up Up Up Then Down Down Down

    Depression has been a part of my life as long as I can remember.  It plagued me as a child, teen, young adult then into adulthood.  Treated for depression since I was in my twenties I didn't recognized the up side of the disorder.  Needless to say I didn't go to the doctor...
    rubyetuesday rubyetuesday 56-60, F 2 Responses Apr 4, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Bipolar And Relationships.

    I think of the stigma associated with mental problems and depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, and related conditions. The seemingly automatic, there’s-something-wrong-with-you kind of judgement. I think of myself and why I never quite felt right...
    Trancefreak Trancefreak 22-25, F 9 Responses Nov 15, 2009

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Years Past And Years To Come

    You suddenly realize that people have roots and the world is lit up in the brightest of colours you are thinking clearer than everyone elsebutyourthoughtsflashbysoquicklylikesurrealistpoetryfishglue. And now you're laughing. Are you high? You get asked. Are you on drugs. You...
    InvincibleHelpless InvincibleHelpless 16-17, F 1 Response Oct 4, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    A Glimpse...

    You feel the energy pulsing through you. It throbs through every cell of your body. Your nerves are on fire, completely inflamed and outstretched, receptive to every whisper, any twitch of motion near you. Touch is so amplified. A pat becomes a slap, a light grasp a clutch, a...
    m2extreme m2extreme 31-35, F 12 Responses Jun 22, 2011

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I am in a mixed state of mania

    and depression today. Actually the last few days. My doctor said it's bc of my ptsd acting up. It makes my mood change second to second. And my "other one" is fighting to come out. I feel like I'm going crazy!!
    deleted deleted 26-30 3 Responses Mar 28, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    My Head Won't Leave My Head Alone

    I was diagnosed with OCD when I was 17.  For years that's all I thought I had.  When I was 29 I was diagnosed with Bipolar 1 Disorder after almost accidentally killing myself with a mixture of vodka, valium, and Vicodin ES.  I had no intention of hurting myself but...
    silk123 silk123 31-35 1 Response Feb 7, 2008

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Memories

    I'm beginning to see medication as a reasonable alternative to my moods, but is this really right? Is this ridiculousness medication withdrawal (I've been off of Abilify for over a month) or am I really this rapid cycling? There's a maximum of one day at a normal mood between my...
    InvincibleHelpless InvincibleHelpless 16-17, F 1 Response Oct 26, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I Don't Stuggle!

    Yes, I am diagnosed with Bipolar Depressed Severe with Psychotic Features anf add to this Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and Acute Anxiety/Panic Disorder, and it all makes for an interesting day every day. Once you reach my age - 50 years- you start to get a bit wiser and...
    KrazyAuntKim KrazyAuntKim 46-50, F 1 Response Jan 6, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel
    deleted deleted 26-30 Mar 19, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I'm 16 and have bipolar 1 with psychotic

    features. I recently started to experience ultradian rapid cycling and am highly resistant to mood stabilizers and antipsychotics. Trying 7 different antipsychotics, my mind still raced. I experience almost all side effects so Im definitely never taking any again. I always have...
    MisterJones54321 MisterJones54321 22-25, M Nov 10, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Related Experiences

    Actually I don't even know if I struggle with it anymore. I've come to accept it. I hate myself more than any human being I've ever known. I'm stupid, clumsy, awkward and ugly. I...
    4everlonelyalone 4everlonelyalone 31-35, F 3 Responses Apr 7

    Your Response

    Cancel
    I'm not overweight or underweight, I'm just a little chubby. The thing with my school is all the guys are searching for that perfect fit and beautiful smart girl No body is...
    leftunloved leftunloved 13-15, F 9 Responses Apr 8

    Your Response

    Cancel
    The highs in life are good but the lows are so so bad. The lows make you feel so alone and unwanted. The lows make you question if it's even worth going through it all. Maybe in...
    alyssakayart alyssakayart 18-21, F Mar 26

    Your Response

    Cancel
    I know it sounds pretty pathetic, but I do. Everything is a struggle, everything is hard for me. Because of where I live, the simplest things become problems, I think 7 times...
    ListenerTalker ListenerTalker 22-25, F 3 Responses Apr 3

    Your Response

    Cancel
    The hands of the clock echo a resonate roar...Tick Tock!My mind is always racing. My body in a sleepless state of shock.Physically it is that I am tossing and turning.Much empathy...
    Loverofpeace Loverofpeace 41-45, F 18 Responses Apr 3

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Depression and anxiety has everything to do with realized or unrealized thoughts that attack the soul and paralyze a person into succumbing to fear and inaction. I struggle daily...
    liveurbestlifenow liveurbestlifenow 31-35, F Apr 5

    Your Response

    Cancel
    I am 30 lbs overweight and I don't like the way my body looks. I am afraid of gaining weight and I look bloated in all my pictures. I want to get back to when I had my weight under...
    may4life may4life 26-30, F 1 Response Mar 22

    Your Response

    Cancel
    I have a serious problem with cocaine, and I need to stop. Can any one share a story of recovery with me please..
    terriblefixations terriblefixations 22-25, F Mar 24

    Your Response

    Cancel
    I am utterly disgusted with myself. I'm a teen that is 5'3 and weighs 140 lbs. I used to be much larger but managed to lose 15 lbs, getting to about 125. I gained a lot of it back...
    scoherron scoherron 16-17, F 8 Responses Mar 24

    Your Response

    Cancel
    I have severe OCD, depression, generalized anxiety disorder, social anxiety disorder, and borderline personality disorder. I would rather have a deadly illness and be happy than...
    Rosaalie Rosaalie 18-21, F 2 Responses Mar 24

    Your Response

    Cancel
    My belly is huge and my thighs are chubby. I feel so miserable about myself sometimes and my ex didnt help with that at all by even saying how unattractive i was.
    shazzarr shazzarr 18-21, F 11 Responses Mar 25

    Your Response

    Cancel
    I think everyone on here can agree that we grew up in a generation where beauty is what people primarily hope for. It's almost like you've accomplished something if you're pretty...
    sullygirl611 sullygirl611 22-25, F 1 Response Mar 26

    Your Response

    Cancel
    ugghhhh. I'm in Vegas. I really want to have a good time but I know I'm not skinny and can't pull off those cute little dresses. I'm nervous I'll look awful. and my friend whose...
    ktweav123 ktweav123 18-21, F 1 Response Mar 26

    Your Response

    Cancel
    I'm back to wonder again what's the point of it all. We spend all our days working for money and our nights just finding ways to pass the time. Spend time with people who mean...
    alyssakayart alyssakayart 18-21, F 2 Responses Mar 28

    Your Response

    Cancel
    I have to go to the beach next week with two other extremely skinny girls and I know they are prettier. How can I feel more confident?
    scoherron scoherron 16-17, F 2 Responses Mar 29

    Your Response

    Cancel
    I really worship my moms comments, because she is the only person I would ever change for if she says so. Since the Age of eleven I have been struggeling with Eating Disorders...
    k2611 k2611 18-21, F 1 Response Mar 31

    Your Response

    Cancel
    When I landed in my mid twenties, which is currently now. I realized something was wrong after relationship after relationship failed due to what? I had no idea under I dated a...
    xNicholasX xNicholasX 26-30, M 2 Responses Mar 31

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Mine are self harm, starving myself, and sex. Being a sex addict doesn't sound all that bad, and sometimes I can work with it, but I can be such a huge ***** and it's really...
    KittyCunt KittyCunt 18-21, F Mar 31

    Your Response

    Cancel
    BMI says i'm on the verge of becoming unhealthy- 24.5 or what it was. Been unhealthy for a long time now, a year without much exercise and mostly sitting in class and stressing a...
    inbetwienerz inbetwienerz 16-17, F 5 Responses Apr 1

    Your Response

    Cancel
    I am single after 3 years of being in a serious relationship. I am . . . Fat and ugly and I didn't think I would have guys wanna get with me. Till one day a guy I know from college...
    lilnekomeow lilnekomeow 18-21, F 7 Responses Apr 3

    Your Response

    Cancel
    I've never been very religious. the only time I ever went to church was with friends. I've always believed in God but I'm starting to feel different. my life has always been chaos...
    ktbugg ktbugg 16-17, F Apr 5

    Your Response

    Cancel
    I hate the body that I am stuck in. I am an emotional eater. I eat certain foods like peanut butter obessively. I want so much to lose weight so I don't let my thoughts everyday to...
    rm411 rm411 31-35, F 4 Responses Apr 6

    Your Response

    Cancel
    I am anorexic and bulimic I have been sense I was 10 I am also clinically depressed have problems with drug and alcohol use and also have problems with self harm
    pinapls pinapls 13-15, F 6 Responses Apr 8

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Just because I see myself as fat DOES NOT mean that all men see me that way. Honestly some men do, but because I'm always expecting the negative comments I rarely get offended. I'm...
    noodle425 noodle425 26-30, F 6 Responses Apr 9

    Your Response

    Cancel
    I am fat. I cried when I got on the scale at a doctors appointment. I have never been this fat although I have been overweight for the majority of My life. I decided to restrict...
    icedrom779 icedrom779 31-35, F 1 Response 4 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Black or White-"Some mother you are!" A stranger snapped at my mother years ago. "Bad enough you marry a White man. Then you teach your children to hate themselves!" The stranger...
    ShahirAnkara ShahirAnkara 22-25, M 2 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    i have been diaognised with bulime but now have tency owrds anxerixa not coping at all feell down
    earthquakegirl earthquakegirl 26-30, F 2 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    I have body and facial acne, stretch marks on my shoulders. Chest gets inflamed when i get stressed. I have every reason to hate myself.
    MyLifee99 MyLifee99 13-15 Mar 19

    Your Response

    Cancel
    You still love him, there's nothing that can stop it. It never stops. It's killing you. Then you begin to kill you. The bad thoughts begin to arise and blood seeps from your wrists...
    mrswolverine mrswolverine 22-25, M Mar 21

    Your Response

    Cancel
    I'm getting made fun of by some girls at my school because I used to self harm. They run away screaming, calling me a monster and what not. That makes me was to hurt even more, but...
    nlaJzy nlaJzy 13-15, F 4 Responses Mar 23

    Your Response

    Cancel
    I'm 175cm weigh 55kilos trying to lose 5 to 10kg I hate I still look fucken big in barely normal weight I have to super skinny for me to look good.
    yesssicaaa yesssicaaa 18-21, F 6 Responses Mar 23

    Your Response

    Cancel
    My Mom thinks I need to lose weight. She told me that my 18 year old cousin weighs 80 lbs, thinking that's real beauty. I think to myself, I'm 5'0 and I weight 128. I'm I unhealthy...
    Kumarie Kumarie 13-15, F 6 Responses Mar 24

    Your Response

    Cancel