I Struggle With Mental Illness

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 1,077 People

    iphone apps that calm me down/cheer me up.

    .... pacifica: addresses anxiety specifically, free to sign up aquarium live hd, aquarium hd, and pocket penguins: watch fish or penguins. pocket penguins is free but has a donate button and the other two are partially free, but i bought the full versions and they're lovely...
    kinkystapler kinkystapler
    18-21, F
    May 13, 2015

    i've been a member here

    for a while, but haven't got around to participate in posting. i am an aspiring filmmaker and after having internship-level experience shooting for other people, I decided to go ahead and do my own project for myself from scratch. I also decided the topic I wanted to my first...
    kmcaulley kmcaulley
    26-30, F
    Jan 28

    I when my body image starts to haunt me

    and I cant sleep at night. I guess thats just what I have to deal with when I have Borderline Personality Disorder
    ALivingTeenIdle ALivingTeenIdle
    16-17, T
    Feb 24, 2015

    Why Me?

    All my life I always knew I was different then everyone else, I just didn't know why. I thought differently, I couldn't fit in, I never had very many friends because I could never find anyone I could relate to. The only person I related to was my older brother, I looked up to him...
    MoodSwingBetty MoodSwingBetty
    18-21, F
    2 Responses Jul 1, 2011
    Profweird Profweird
    22-25, M
    Apr 20, 2015

    So, today I found out I'm slightly autistic.

    My mom says it's something she's always known except it is not until now that we are discussing it. Also, due to this, it's going to take me a extra year to finish school. I'm so frustrated with my freaking brain. I want to understand stuff but it seems like there is this wall...
    HannahB15 HannahB15
    16-17, F
    2 Responses Mar 2, 2015

    Mental Illness Feels Like A Dark Force

    Looking back over my earthly existince from birth to now (29) i can see the effects of anxiety, depression and low confidence, showing through different episodes in my life. Im not going to go into all the occurences.. be here for a while! Where i am now feels like im on the...
    overthinker247 overthinker247
    31-35, F
    3 Responses Nov 20, 2013

    I visited a psychiatrist

    for the first time today because I have an attention problem and she prescribed me an attention deficit medicine without screening me so anxiety washed all over me when I got out of her office.. I thought she was gonna ask me questions ask me about my life make me feel like it's...
    psychedelicblues psychedelicblues
    22-25, F
    3 Responses Nov 29, 2014

    My close friend's younger brother died in a car

    accident last year. Afterwards, I found out he suffered from severe schizophrenia and paranoia. She thinks he purposely drove his car into the path of an oncoming truck. He died on the spot. I think about that every day I'm on the road. Those who have never experienced any...
    BlackEyedBean BlackEyedBean
    41-45, F
    1 Response Mar 5

    It still not clear to me what mental disorder I

    have, I guess when I feel hopeless or pathetic I either give up control to a cold part of me or to the maniac part, which makes me do things and don't remember such as cutting and ****, or even feel pleasure in pain and gore, act stupid and angry with people I care about, what a...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    1 Response Dec 1, 2015

    This is a response I wrote to an anorexic woman.

    I'm bipolar, but I've talked to enough people with other kinds of mental illnesses to see we have a lot in common. I wrote this to a woman who, like me, said she hated herself. I was trying to explain what I have learned to help cope with this problem. First, I started by...
    wundayatta wundayatta
    56-60, M
    1 Response Jul 13, 2014

    So today I found a song

    that I can relate to and I'm sure other people who struggle with mental illness might be able to relate as well. Hearing this song I thought "wow that sounds way too close to home." Having struggled with my mental health since 12 I've always had trouble with explaining it or...
    NaturallyPeculiar NaturallyPeculiar
    18-21, F
    1 Response Jan 2

    I've been doing well not doing all my bad

    habits. but today was bad and next thing I know I'm lighting a cigarette. I don't know if I should feel bad or not....
    latenightmusings latenightmusings
    22-25, F
    1 Response Dec 9, 2015

    after I had left the hospital my past had

    caught up with me my so called friends abondoned me and shunned my for leaving them How could i tell them that i coulden't do drugs with them anymore how could i tell them that i was metally ill I had suffered months apon months of cyber bullying because of my so called friends...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    1 Response Feb 5, 2015

    I've been crying all morning (it's 9am) i woke

    up feeling ashamed and like I'm no good. and I think I need to let these tears out, I hold back a lot of emotions. but it's even worse when you can't talk to people the way you want to or a person. I don't wanna keep depending on strangers and other when it comes to me venting...
    mentallyhigh mentallyhigh
    18-21, F
    2 Responses Mar 1

    Mental illness is something I live with.

    I can relate to people who struggle with it. I pursued an education in mental health to learn more about it, as well as better my life and the lives of others.
    Jononymous Jononymous
    26-30, M
    Mar 3

    I'm not on any medication

    and I don't see a doctor. I used to, but somehow my stepmother makes me feel guilty for needing help. I don't think she means too, but its hard. I just want another chance at those things. I want her to have some patience. Also, being insane is expensive and she probably hates...
    Spoticus Spoticus
    18-21, F
    4 Responses Aug 5, 2015

    I haven't taken my meds in weeks

    because I keep forgetting. Now I'm always seeing **** moving or stuff that's not there. And it feels like bugs are crawling on me. I'm just really paranoid and I hate it because I don't want to suffer like this. I almost drove into a lake earlier because I thought it was going...
    SnoopDoggsGrama SnoopDoggsGrama
    18-21, F
    May 7, 2015

    dark filled days for over 4 years.

    barley having a nice, okay feeling day. I wake up exhausted, it doesn't matter if I sleep for 19 hours (which I have plenty of times) I'd still feel tired as hell as if that 19 hours wasn't enough I've slept for 24 hours rarely sometimes. never waking up happy, or energized or...
    liquidgold18k liquidgold18k
    18-21, F
    1 Response Dec 30, 2015

    I have a **** load of stuff wrong with me

    but I won't let it control my life again. I'm doing my best to cope with this incurable ****. I was diagnosed with the skitsophrenia(I can't even fudgen spell it) when I was around 16. It ruined my high school years. I also developed anxiety and depression. I'm doing good now...
    ponycupcake ponycupcake
    18-21, F
    1 Response Aug 2, 2014

    Frustration, Confusion and Despair

    I don't want to sound gloomy, but the last couple of days have    been very difficult. I can't go outside and stay there very long, before the terror and the paranoia overwhelms me. I mean 48 hrs. ago everything was fine and then BAM !!!I was knocked to my knees...
    Engine32 Engine32
    46-50, M
    5 Responses Oct 23, 2007

    I feel so isolated and worthless,

    I've struggled with these feelings since I was a child.. I've grown so used to it I'm comfortable feeling this way which is sad, I can't keep friends because of it, everyone tends to give up after awhile and I completely understand why, I don't hold anything against them it's my...
    Britt4ny Britt4ny
    70+, F
    1 Response Dec 18, 2014

    On My Own

    Just wish sometimes somebody would understand how I feel
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    1 Response Oct 24, 2013

    I'm obsessed about what I want in life

    and can't get it out of my head. Its nothing uncommon at all but I know without work and complaining all the time wouldn't change anything. I tried to be calm and happy about what I have thankful for what I've got in life...but the moment that I see its impermanence and how...
    Quentine Quentine
    26-30, F
    2 Responses Sep 21, 2014

    Really... Really f**king low these days.

    Marriage is over, ex-bf wants to be "friends", my hours at work are suddenly cut and I'm finding myself struggling to make the rent on the room I rent in someone else's home. Haven't told anyone what I'm going through for his sake (why do we protect our men this much? Even if...
    BlackEyedBean BlackEyedBean
    41-45, F
    3 Responses Mar 15

    Bipolar

    I've struggled with mental illness most of my life although I did not get diagnosed till 16 years ago.  I've been through many different meds, some worked for awhile, some not at all. I recently went through ECT treatment because nothing else seemed to work and I'd run out of...
    lswycoff lswycoff
    51-55
    1 Response Dec 21, 2011

    I have my 1st TMS treatment today.

    I am so nervous I am sick to my stomach. I know I will be okay, and that the treatment does work. I am just scared of the pain. Please have a good day.
    nevets68 nevets68
    46-50, M
    1 Response Oct 1, 2015

    I Have A Chemical Imbalance

    Well about four years ago i started having problems.The  doctors didn't even know what was wrong with me.I.have been diagnosed as bi polar and dilusional disorder.I now go to a natural path who also went to regular medical school.She has done wonders for me because...
    stebrown83 stebrown83
    26-30, F
    Aug 24, 2010

    I'm torn. I'm torn about accepting the mental

    illness labels doctors have diagnosed me with, such as having bipolar and depression, because I don't want the labels to define me. At the same time, I know that in a sense, it could help me when it comes to getting the proper help I need since I struggle day to day with these...
    JadedDivinity JadedDivinity
    18-21
    2 Responses Jul 15, 2014

    I stopped taking my meds

    so I can get admitted to the a hospital just to have the feeling that someone does care about me.
    nevets68 nevets68
    46-50, M
    1 Response Sep 22, 2015

    Everyday Has Been A Constant Hell Since 1995

    I battle mental illness and my weakness to depression and anxiety I regret all my life the people I have had the misfortune to meet I wish I knew more caring people who valued me and understood my mental illness.
    czaristacrystals czaristacrystals
    36-40, F
    2 Responses Mar 10, 2011

    I feelt confused lately,

    after I had watched the first sesong of Hannibal, I wanted and still want to be sorta "like" Will Graham, how he was abused and tricked my Hannibal Lecter, and how unstable and insane he was, I want that. And I'm not supposed to wanting to be abused and insane, it's not normal...
    Fenriis Fenriis
    18-21, T
    Feb 29

    Sitting outside the psychiatrist's office

    and wondering.. "How the hell did I end up here? I was so normal."
    BlackEyedBean BlackEyedBean
    41-45, F
    Dec 3, 2015

    I recently found a suicide note I had written

    when I was at my worst with my eating disorder and depression. Although I'm still struggling with both of those things, I can definitely say I've come a long way since that point. I wrote the note shortly before I was admitted to the hospital for being severely/dangerously...
    kaylxlynn kaylxlynn
    18-21, F
    2 Responses Nov 18, 2014

    I probably picked up depression genetically

    because it runs in my dad's side of the family. He is bi-polar, and living under that condition was like growing up with an unpredictable alcoholic, which added to the depression and added some degree of anxiety to the mix. I have also been tested for and diagnosed with ADD...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    1 Response Jun 7, 2014

    my problems have been having ups lately

    but I just went really downhill today....
    latenightmusings latenightmusings
    22-25, F
    3 Responses Dec 9, 2015

    It's really hard to deal with a mental illness.

    In class if a teacher asks a question that I'm supposed to know the answer to, but dont. Everyone will mock me and call me retard and worse. It's not my fault. But school is the worst place for me. I dont fit in there. It's embarrassing coming out of learning support and having...
    matti1342 matti1342
    16-17, F
    2 Responses Mar 29, 2014

    I suffer from health anxiety .

    Sometimes I can laugh at it, because I can understand how bizarre it seems to the outside world, but when I'm in the middle of an 'episode' it is terrifying. I have 'had' coming up to ten terminal illnesses in the past 12 weeks. This morning I woke up with a new one. I feel...
    annabellagwokamella annabellagwokamella
    26-30, F
    Dec 11, 2013

    I am so tired of this random depression

    bullshit. Can I please just stay happy? Please?? I feel bad because my girlfriend tries to help me but I'm not really able to be helped when I'm depressed. Her being there helps a lot more than her not being there would but it doesn't make it go away. And I'm supposed to be the...
    animerules44 animerules44
    18-21
    Sep 26, 2015

    it got worse lately. im going to possibly up my

    meds. i wish it would just go away.
    awesomeguy3125 awesomeguy3125
    31-35, M
    Jul 26, 2015
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    Apr 20, 2015

    My sky, my earth, my sun.

    My home ,my ground, my gravity, a cage of glass, that no one sees. I long to soar or to break free but my heart’s cage encases me. I long to sing, to run, to fly, still all that I can do is cry. What’s it is mine. We’re out of time. No time to weep. For my...
    DropsOfSadness DropsOfSadness
    13-15, F
    Jan 18

    Mental illness has such a stigma associated

    with it, it's very hard to ask for help. The worst is when you ask for help but you don't get it.
    BlackEyedBean BlackEyedBean
    41-45, F
    5 Responses Nov 25, 2015

    Why is it so hard for those of us

    who are suffering to get access to proper treatment. Not to mention the treatments available suck, the therapies are not as effective as psychologists would have you believe. Psychiatrists ignore therapy altogether because it's more profitable for them to prescribe you...
    Kingshelman Kingshelman
    31-35, M
    Aug 26, 2014

    today was actually pretty good.

    I watched a Ted Talk called "Why We choose Suicide" it hit hard man. I don't think anyone has explained the thoughts behind it better.
    latenightmusings latenightmusings
    22-25, F
    Dec 10, 2015

    Sooooo I attempted suicide

    and had to go to an impatient ward and then long term day treatment. How fun! But anyways to anyone thinking of commuting suicide please don't. Please find a impatient ward or day treatment program or at least call a crisis line. They honestly help so much. I am still depressed...
    garrettthecarrot garrettthecarrot
    18-21, M
    Apr 19, 2015

    I want to remember this Forever keep it a page

    I can turn to But my mind has already left me It was blown out like a speaker It rattles and shakes where it should be smooth, steady and yielding Summarily, I'm existing beyond mind I don't have it I can't pull things up for review As soul, I'm looking at a control board with...
    XLonelinessKillsX XLonelinessKillsX
    31-35, F
    1 Response May 9, 2014

    sleepless nights loneliness hunger,

    but never satisfied obsession racing thoughts hopelessness emotions hiding not dying holding on comfort rest fantasy love counsel creation
    softlywaking softlywaking
    31-35, F
    Mar 1

    I do not struggle with mental illness

    but I have a few people close to me that do. It is a hard road to take for both those struggling with mental illness and those that care for them.Be Patient, Be Kind and try putting yourself in the mindset of others.  
    Yeahbaybey Yeahbaybey
    46-50, F
    1 Response Apr 20, 2015
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