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I Struggle With Mental Illness

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 1,037 People

    Why is it so hard for those of us

    who are suffering to get access to proper treatment. Not to mention the treatments available suck, the therapies are not as effective as psychologists would have you believe. Psychiatrists ignore therapy altogether because it's more profitable for them to prescribe you...
    Kingshelman Kingshelman 31-35, M Aug 26, 2014

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    Frustration, Confusion and Despair

    I don't want to sound gloomy, but the last couple of days have    been very difficult. I can't go outside and stay there very long, before the terror and the paranoia overwhelms me. I mean 48 hrs. ago everything was fine and then BAM !!!I was knocked to my knees...
    Engine32 Engine32 46-50, M 5 Responses Oct 23, 2007

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    I probably picked up depression genetically

    because it runs in my dad's side of the family. He is bi-polar, and living under that condition was like growing up with an unpredictable alcoholic, which added to the depression and added some degree of anxiety to the mix. I have also been tested for and diagnosed with ADD...
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Jun 7, 2014

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    Bipolar

    I've struggled with mental illness most of my life although I did not get diagnosed till 16 years ago.  I've been through many different meds, some worked for awhile, some not at all. I recently went through ECT treatment because nothing else seemed to work and I'd run out of...
    lswycoff lswycoff 51-55 1 Response Dec 21, 2011

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    it got worse lately. im going to possibly up my

    meds. i wish it would just go away.
    awesomeguy3125 awesomeguy3125 26-30, M 1 Response Jul 26, 2015

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    today was actually pretty good.

    I watched a Ted Talk called "Why We choose Suicide" it hit hard man. I don't think anyone has explained the thoughts behind it better.
    latenightmusings latenightmusings 22-25, F Dec 10, 2015

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    Sitting outside the psychiatrist's office

    and wondering.. "How the hell did I end up here? I was so normal."
    BlackEyedBean BlackEyedBean 41-45, F Dec 3, 2015

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    I haven't taken my meds in weeks

    because I keep forgetting. Now I'm always seeing **** moving or stuff that's not there. And it feels like bugs are crawling on me. I'm just really paranoid and I hate it because I don't want to suffer like this. I almost drove into a lake earlier because I thought it was going...
    SnoopDoggsGrama SnoopDoggsGrama 18-21, F 1 Response May 7, 2015

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    I recently found a suicide note I had written

    when I was at my worst with my eating disorder and depression. Although I'm still struggling with both of those things, I can definitely say I've come a long way since that point. I wrote the note shortly before I was admitted to the hospital for being severely/dangerously...
    kaylxlynn kaylxlynn 18-21, F 2 Responses Nov 18, 2014

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    Everyday Has Been A Constant Hell Since 1995

    I battle mental illness and my weakness to depression and anxiety I regret all my life the people I have had the misfortune to meet I wish I knew more caring people who valued me and understood my mental illness.
    czaristacrystals czaristacrystals 36-40, F 2 Responses Mar 10, 2011

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    I have my 1st TMS treatment today.

    I am so nervous I am sick to my stomach. I know I will be okay, and that the treatment does work. I am just scared of the pain. Please have a good day.
    nevets68 nevets68 46-50, M Oct 1, 2015

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    I visited a psychiatrist

    for the first time today because I have an attention problem and she prescribed me an attention deficit medicine without screening me so anxiety washed all over me when I got out of her office.. I thought she was gonna ask me questions ask me about my life make me feel like it's...
    psychedelicblues psychedelicblues 18-21, F 3 Responses Nov 29, 2014

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    This is a response I wrote to an anorexic woman.

    I'm bipolar, but I've talked to enough people with other kinds of mental illnesses to see we have a lot in common. I wrote this to a woman who, like me, said she hated herself. I was trying to explain what I have learned to help cope with this problem. First, I started by...
    wundayatta wundayatta 56-60, M 1 Response Jul 13, 2014

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    dark filled days for over 4 years.

    barley having a nice, okay feeling day. I wake up exhausted, it doesn't matter if I sleep for 19 hours (which I have plenty of times) I'd still feel tired as hell as if that 19 hours wasn't enough I've slept for 24 hours rarely sometimes. never waking up happy, or energized or...
    liquidgold18k liquidgold18k 18-21, F 1 Response Dec 30, 2015

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    I stopped taking my meds

    so I can get admitted to the a hospital just to have the feeling that someone does care about me.
    nevets68 nevets68 46-50, M 1 Response Sep 22, 2015

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    i've been a member here

    for a while, but haven't got around to participate in posting. i am an aspiring filmmaker and after having internship-level experience shooting for other people, I decided to go ahead and do my own project for myself from scratch. I also decided the topic I wanted to my first...
    kmcaulley kmcaulley 26-30, F Jan 28

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    Mental Illness Feels Like A Dark Force

    Looking back over my earthly existince from birth to now (29) i can see the effects of anxiety, depression and low confidence, showing through different episodes in my life. Im not going to go into all the occurences.. be here for a while! Where i am now feels like im on the...
    overthinker247 overthinker247 31-35, F 3 Responses Nov 20, 2013

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    A few nights ago I almost overdosed of pills

    I've been stock piling. I hadn't taken my antipsychotic since November 30 and I was losing my mind. I was sleeping maybe a hour every night for weeks, until one night I didn't sleep at all and almost ODed. I got my medication finally on the 20th. I still feel weird. I don't...
    Spilled Spilled 22-25, F 2 Responses Dec 23, 2013

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    I Have A Chemical Imbalance

    Well about four years ago i started having problems.The  doctors didn't even know what was wrong with me.I.have been diagnosed as bi polar and dilusional disorder.I now go to a natural path who also went to regular medical school.She has done wonders for me because...
    stebrown83 stebrown83 26-30, F Aug 24, 2010

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    I'm obsessed about what I want in life

    and can't get it out of my head. Its nothing uncommon at all but I know without work and complaining all the time wouldn't change anything. I tried to be calm and happy about what I have thankful for what I've got in life...but the moment that I see its impermanence and how...
    Quentine Quentine 26-30, F 2 Responses Sep 21, 2014

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    I do not struggle with mental illness

    but I have a few people close to me that do. It is a hard road to take for both those struggling with mental illness and those that care for them.Be Patient, Be Kind and try putting yourself in the mindset of others.  
    Yeahbaybey Yeahbaybey 46-50, F 1 Response Apr 20, 2015

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    I've been doing well not doing all my bad

    habits. but today was bad and next thing I know I'm lighting a cigarette. I don't know if I should feel bad or not....
    latenightmusings latenightmusings 22-25, F 1 Response Dec 9, 2015

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    My sky, my earth, my sun.

    My home ,my ground, my gravity, a cage of glass, that no one sees. I long to soar or to break free but my heart’s cage encases me. I long to sing, to run, to fly, still all that I can do is cry. What’s it is mine. We’re out of time. No time to weep. For my...
    DropsOfSadness DropsOfSadness 13-15, F Jan 18

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    I'm torn. I'm torn about accepting the mental

    illness labels doctors have diagnosed me with, such as having bipolar and depression, because I don't want the labels to define me. At the same time, I know that in a sense, it could help me when it comes to getting the proper help I need since I struggle day to day with these...
    JadedDivinity JadedDivinity 18-21 2 Responses Jul 15, 2014

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    I'm not on any medication

    and I don't see a doctor. I used to, but somehow my stepmother makes me feel guilty for needing help. I don't think she means too, but its hard. I just want another chance at those things. I want her to have some patience. Also, being insane is expensive and she probably hates...
    Spoticus Spoticus 18-21, F 3 Responses Aug 5, 2015

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    So, today I found out I'm slightly autistic.

    My mom says it's something she's always known except it is not until now that we are discussing it. Also, due to this, it's going to take me a extra year to finish school. I'm so frustrated with my freaking brain. I want to understand stuff but it seems like there is this wall...
    HannahB15 HannahB15 16-17, F 2 Responses Mar 2, 2015

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    I have a **** load of stuff wrong with me

    but I won't let it control my life again. I'm doing my best to cope with this incurable ****. I was diagnosed with the skitsophrenia(I can't even fudgen spell it) when I was around 16. It ruined my high school years. I also developed anxiety and depression. I'm doing good now...
    ponycupcake ponycupcake 18-21, F 2 Responses Aug 2, 2014

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    I want to remember this Forever keep it a page

    I can turn to But my mind has already left me It was blown out like a speaker It rattles and shakes where it should be smooth, steady and yielding Summarily, I'm existing beyond mind I don't have it I can't pull things up for review As soul, I'm looking at a control board with...
    XLonelinessKillsX XLonelinessKillsX 31-35, F 1 Response May 9, 2014

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    Profweird Profweird 22-25, M Apr 20, 2015

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    I when my body image starts to haunt me

    and I cant sleep at night. I guess thats just what I have to deal with when I have Borderline Personality Disorder
    ALivingTeenIdle ALivingTeenIdle 16-17, T Feb 24, 2015

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    Sooooo I attempted suicide

    and had to go to an impatient ward and then long term day treatment. How fun! But anyways to anyone thinking of commuting suicide please don't. Please find a impatient ward or day treatment program or at least call a crisis line. They honestly help so much. I am still depressed...
    garrettthecarrot garrettthecarrot 18-21, M Apr 19, 2015

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    iphone apps that calm me down/cheer me up.

    .... pacifica: addresses anxiety specifically, free to sign up aquarium live hd, aquarium hd, and pocket penguins: watch fish or penguins. pocket penguins is free but has a donate button and the other two are partially free, but i bought the full versions and they're lovely...
    kinkystapler kinkystapler 18-21, F May 13, 2015

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    It still not clear to me what mental disorder I

    have, I guess when I feel hopeless or pathetic I either give up control to a cold part of me or to the maniac part, which makes me do things and don't remember such as cutting and ****, or even feel pleasure in pain and gore, act stupid and angry with people I care about, what a...
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Dec 1, 2015

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    On My Own

    Just wish sometimes somebody would understand how I feel
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Oct 24, 2013

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    I suffer from health anxiety .

    Sometimes I can laugh at it, because I can understand how bizarre it seems to the outside world, but when I'm in the middle of an 'episode' it is terrifying. I have 'had' coming up to ten terminal illnesses in the past 12 weeks. This morning I woke up with a new one. I feel...
    annabellagwokamella annabellagwokamella 26-30, F Dec 11, 2013

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    I feel so isolated and worthless,

    I've struggled with these feelings since I was a child.. I've grown so used to it I'm comfortable feeling this way which is sad, I can't keep friends because of it, everyone tends to give up after awhile and I completely understand why, I don't hold anything against them it's my...
    Britt4ny Britt4ny 70+, F 1 Response Dec 18, 2014

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    I have eating disorders

    if somebody want to talk, i will listen 'cause i know how ir feels
    Loveskinny123 Loveskinny123 16-17 Nov 19, 2014

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    Since the age of five I have been diagnosed

    with Bipolar disorder with general anxiety and I was cleared for Aspburgers. So I never generally made friends because I was the weird child, my emotions were not normal and I did not act like other kids, even worse a lot of teachers did not know how to handle me. So it was a...
    Giraffafa Giraffafa 22-25, F 1 Response May 9, 2014

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    This is so exhausting

    and it's taking a toll on everyone I care about :'( why can't I just be a normal person? I'm so very tired.
    deleted deleted 26-30 Oct 8, 2014

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    deleted deleted 26-30 Apr 20, 2015

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    https://scontent.cdninstagram.

    com/hphotos-xtp1/t50.2886-16/12128723_977345138990044_1346070482_n.mp4 I love this guy, but this kind of stuff does more harm to people who battle real depression (not saying this guy doesn't, I haven't ever heard his story) but this is what people who don't suffer with "real...
    DarkKnightRanger DarkKnightRanger 26-30, M 1 Response Nov 24, 2015

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    Hello world. After a long

    and difficult 16 years of abuse, watching my mother be abused, and watching my step everywhere I go waiting for my dear father to snap again, we moved out. For the past three years I have been struggling with acute depression and Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. The PTSD is...
    MissDoomNGloom MissDoomNGloom 18-21 2 Responses May 25, 2014

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    when i was 17 I was put in an intensive care

    unit for youth witch specialized in depression physios and many other mental health issues when the doctor asked me what are you in here for.... i told him i couldn't tell reality from fiction he then later the next day sat me and my parents down in a white walled room with...
    deleted deleted 26-30 Feb 4, 2015

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    It's really hard to deal with a mental illness.

    In class if a teacher asks a question that I'm supposed to know the answer to, but dont. Everyone will mock me and call me retard and worse. It's not my fault. But school is the worst place for me. I dont fit in there. It's embarrassing coming out of learning support and having...
    matti1342 matti1342 16-17, F 2 Responses Mar 29, 2014

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    my problems have been having ups lately

    but I just went really downhill today....
    latenightmusings latenightmusings 22-25, F 3 Responses Dec 9, 2015

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