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I Struggle With Self Loathing

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 57 People

    I Hate Who And What I Am

    I have been struggling with a lot of negative feelings that I went through as a child on the farm and in the 70s and 80s.... when Bill was abusing mewhen people abuse me I feel like I become them.... in some way.... I felt like people seen me like Ron Poacher or Bill etcI felt...
    czaristacrystals czaristacrystals 36-40, F Apr 24, 2012

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    Fred

    The thing about guys like me is that no one wants to be like guys like me. You see, I don’t think I’ve ever done anything according to plan or what should be done. It’s like my mind is a virus, except, you can’t catch it. Guys like me just have it. You don’t know what...
    fredpepper fredpepper 16-17 May 19, 2012

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    Not A Happy Friday

    I woke up this morning and had another mini row with my OH. Felt physically awful - No idea if it is due to a dodgy pizza yesterday or drinking alcohol last night. Either way, it’s not good. I always do this. I fancy a drink and convince myself that I can handle it and I will...
    JennyJones1975 JennyJones1975 36-40, F Sep 2, 2011

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    I Hate Who And What I Am

    I have been struggling with a lot of negative feelings that I went through as a child on the farm and in the 70s and 80s.... when Bill was abusing mewhen people abuse me I feel like I become them.... in some way.... I felt like people seen me like Ron Poacher or Bill etcI felt...
    czaristacrystals czaristacrystals 36-40, F Apr 24, 2012

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    Related Experiences

    I've struggled with self harm since about 7th grade. I am now in 10th. I have not cut since January 28, 2014 but I still struggle with other types of self harm. I binge, perge, and...
    ForeverLostPoet ForeverLostPoet 13-15, F 1 Response Jul 3

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    I do not romanticize self harm, or believe it to be good. This is just my experience with it. I've never been a "hard-core" self harmer, but it's still an addiction that I...
    terribletaytor terribletaytor 18-21, F Jul 13

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    I started self harming at the age of 13. I'm 16 now. I was depressed and I got made fun of a lot of school. It was only a few cuts on my arms and they weren't very deep. But then I...
    teenagetragedy teenagetragedy 16-17, F 2 Responses 1 day ago

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    I have self-harmed since is was the ripe age of 7. Then, I wasn't using anything of the caliber I use today, merely my fingernails and the occasional earring, but I left marks. I...
    ElfKelsey ElfKelsey 13-15, F Jul 20

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    I'm basically Michael Jackson reincarnated, except without the talent of course. Just self-hatred wise.
    fluffyunicorn fluffyunicorn 16-17, F Jul 23

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    I haven't cut for almost a year now because I learned that I am perfect the way I am. But I used to cut all the time a few years back. I still have scars but I show them off with...
    SamLGirl SamLGirl 13-15, F 2 Responses Jul 12

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    Kaylaana Kaylaana 13-15, F 1 Response Jul 4

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    I'm a miserable contribution to the human species. It's as simple as that. I suffer from deep depression and I sometimes seem like I have bipolar depression, but i'm not diagnosed...
    DejectedJoe DejectedJoe 16-17, M 1 Response Jul 11

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    My eyes rain out of tears... So I forced my skin to cry instead...😔
    nohope2345 nohope2345 13-15, F Jul 12

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    One of my many scratches I've made since I don't have any blades. And it may not seem like much but it has been a week since I made this. And this is one of ten. But this is the...
    thalassinia thalassinia 13-15, F 1 Response Jul 16

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    It's been 3 months since I've cut myself .. I had really bad depression , I had to take pills . I had really bad anxiety , I couldn't breath . And I've tried to commit suicide 2...
    MiaSnider MiaSnider 13-15, F Jul 22

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    I have attempted suicide many times now and have been cutting for years. I just recently lost a friend to suicide and I've almost decided that it up my ally also. I've been...
    Raelyn13 Raelyn13 13-15, F 3 Responses 4 days ago

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    I've been cutting for 4 years. And I have never told anyone close why I do it. I am afraid to tell and I don't know why.
    DiamondNikki12 DiamondNikki12 18-21, F 2 Responses 4 days ago

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    haha I just came up with a smartass name for the phenomenon of unjustified self loathing teen girls... emo, whiny, I am soooo ugleh, etc etc hateurbation. n. The act of getting...
    mrinvader mrinvader 36-40, M 1 Response Jul 15

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    I'm done. I'm sick with all the negativity. I'm turning 17 in a few weeks and for once I want to control this body image im struggling. I'm 5'5 and weigh around 160 pounds (or...
    burningdesir3 burningdesir3 16-17, F 3 Responses Jul 12

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    I struggle with my body image everyday, but nobody can tell. I walk around like I have high self-esteem because I refuse to let people see me down. In reality, I hate the way my...
    XxMarxX XxMarxX 18-21, M 1 Response Jul 5

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    Tomorrow I am going to my friends sisters bridal shower. My friend told me to wear a dress and if I wanted to wear one of hers I could. I hate when she says I should wear her...
    Lipsofred Lipsofred 18-21, F 3 Responses Jul 18

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    Since 8th grade I have struggled with so much anxiety. I used to think it was just me getting nervous seeing people I knew out in public, but it gets to a point when you know you...
    xsarah23x xsarah23x 16-17, F 23 hrs ago

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    I've struggled with my weight for most of my life. Looking back though I really wasn't that bad, but in my mind I was disgustingly & impossibly overweight. Rather than feeling...
    dukelostboy25 dukelostboy25 26-30, M 2 Responses Jul 13

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    I wouldn't say I'm ugly, but I don't think I am pretty. Id say im cute at most but not pretty and certainly not "hot". I've struggled with my weight my whole life and I've recently...
    adimarie adimarie 18-21, F 2 Responses Jul 24

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    There was this guy who rode the same bus I did to class and I was completely mesmerized by him. I thought he was the most beautiful person I've ever seen, but I only talked to him...
    meagenator meagenator 16-17, F Jul 18

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    I am struggling harder now with body image than I ever have in my entire life, to the point that I sometimes can't look people straight in the eye because I'm so convinced others...
    TryingToFeelGoodAboutMyself TryingToFeelGoodAboutMyself 36-40, F 2 Responses Jul 11

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    I'm short - 5 feet - and muscular. This causes my muscles to add a lot to my weight and I hate it, but I don't say anything...I'm a runner and have the makings of thunder thighs...
    jasenamigala jasenamigala 13-15, F 2 Responses Jul 11

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    I used to be extremely over weight back in high school and I had severe body image issues. I knew I was fat and knew for sure that's all anyone ever noticed so I became a loner and...
    Jbsc21 Jbsc21 22-25, M Jul 20

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    I am 13 years old and I never use to like the way I look at school people would always call me fat and ugly and I would tell my self you are beautiful don't let those comments...
    ChaceMarie ChaceMarie 13-15, F 3 Responses Jul 13

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    This is a response I wrote to an anorexic woman. I'm bipolar, but I've talked to enough people with other kinds of mental illnesses to see we have a lot in common. I wrote this to...
    wundayatta wundayatta 56-60, M Jul 13

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    Since I was 12, ( I am now 15) I have had a larger labia then everyone I know. I struggle to even feel confident enough to wear a bikini ( I'm a fairly thin girl). I don't ever let...
    lollipopsnliquor lollipopsnliquor 13-15, F 5 Responses Jul 3

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    I'm torn. I'm torn about accepting the mental illness labels doctors have diagnosed me with, such as having bipolar and depression, because I don't want the labels to define me...
    JadedDivinity JadedDivinity 18-21, F 3 Responses Jul 15

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    I feel like the struggle gets worse by the day. I often wonder about leaving this state and just starting a new life somewhere else.
    matty83 matty83 31-35, M 1 Response 1 day ago

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    well after my depression my weight has dropped from around 100 kg's to the range of 75-77 kg's and I kept that weight for about 2 years, knowing that I couldn't go to the gym...
    LoneDovahKiin LoneDovahKiin 22-25, M 1 Response Jul 2

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    At my best I'd like to think that I'm charismatic, a good friend, funny, with resolve. But lately it's so hard to control my temper after dating a sociopath and other things that...
    Kimbahbay Kimbahbay 16-17, F Jul 4

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    I hate everything about the way I look. I've never told anymore in person, but it kills me to see other people so happy. It makes me do terrible things to myself. All my pimples...
    NPkid97 NPkid97 16-17, M 3 Responses Jul 5

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    ^ This, this picture here is a prime example of how some people are towards others with hearing loss. Usually the way they say it varies but it always means the same damn thing...
    NaturallyPeculiar NaturallyPeculiar 18-21, F 1 Response Jul 6

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    I am on methadone. I've been on the same dose for a few years. I am beginning to have problems with it. Withdrawal feelings. The doc raised my dose 5 mills but it doesn't seemed to...
    bellaboo68 bellaboo68 36-40, F 1 Response Jul 7

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    I'm writing this post to help people whom are struggling with there body image, specifically skin wise eg: acne ect ( I am one myself😉) . I recently discovered an AMAZING DIY...
    EmmaSheppard EmmaSheppard 13-15, F 1 Response Jul 7

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    Im 110 lbs now, i need to lose 10. Thats what happens when your roomate makes a huge *** cake in a house with only vegetables and fruit in it :/
    EffyXOXO EffyXOXO 16-17, F 1 Response Jul 11

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    Im 15 and have been struggling with an eating disorder for three years , i don't know how to tell my mom :(
    LeilaOlivia LeilaOlivia 13-15, F 2 Responses Jul 12

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    I wish I can be how I wish I was before I had two children it all jus happen so fast feel so uncomfortable with my body don't feel good dont look good to the point that I feel not...
    precious805 precious805 22-25, F 2 Responses Jul 13

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    Its so easy to turn to alcohol when life gets too rough ... It's only a temporary solution but once that stage is done then u wake up with a mean hangover an full of regret from...
    ev23 ev23 31-35, F 3 Responses Jul 14

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    I honestly am not content with my body. I think partially because of sexual abuse and partially because of bullying. I used to try to starve myself but then I would get so hungry...
    Xander8905 Xander8905 18-21, M 2 Responses Jul 16

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    I have hated my body since I could remember and I have been suffering with an ed for three or more years. I don't think I'll ever like myself.
    Skinnieminnie91 Skinnieminnie91 13-15, F Jul 17

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    Ironically, it's the chemicals that are made to stop skin problems that make them worse. I know this because all my high school life I've been looking for the perfect cleanser for...
    EmmaSheppard EmmaSheppard 13-15, F 2 Responses Jul 18

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    I'm not a big girl, but there is so much room for improvement. I weigh a little less than 130, but most of my weight is in my belly and it's extremely embarrassing. I am having...
    lkb93 lkb93 18-21, F 2 Responses Jul 20

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