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I Struggle With Self Loathing

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 77 People

    I Hate Who And What I Am

    I have been struggling with a lot of negative feelings that I went through as a child on the farm and in the 70s and 80s.... when Bill was abusing mewhen people abuse me I feel like I become them.... in some way.... I felt like people seen me like Ron Poacher or Bill etcI felt...
    czaristacrystals czaristacrystals 36-40, F Apr 24, 2012

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    I Hate Who And What I Am

    I have been struggling with a lot of negative feelings that I went through as a child on the farm and in the 70s and 80s.... when Bill was abusing mewhen people abuse me I feel like I become them.... in some way.... I felt like people seen me like Ron Poacher or Bill etcI felt...
    czaristacrystals czaristacrystals 36-40, F Apr 24, 2012

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    Yeah all I do is cause my own problems,

    then wish for someone to care. I guess it's only human, but I hate myself a lot. I feel like a huge disappointment to my parents all the time, (I thought I had myself figured out and now all the sudden I have no idea, but I digress.) and I really care about my friends but to the...
    oeN4 oeN4 18-21, F May 17

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    Not A Happy Friday

    I woke up this morning and had another mini row with my OH. Felt physically awful - No idea if it is due to a dodgy pizza yesterday or drinking alcohol last night. Either way, it’s not good. I always do this. I fancy a drink and convince myself that I can handle it and I will...
    JennyJones1975 JennyJones1975 36-40, F Sep 2, 2011

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    Fred

    The thing about guys like me is that no one wants to be like guys like me. You see, I don’t think I’ve ever done anything according to plan or what should be done. It’s like my mind is a virus, except, you can’t catch it. Guys like me just have it. You don’t know what...
    fredpepper fredpepper 16-17 May 19, 2012

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    Related Experiences

    ok this may be weird but I actually want to gain weight! im 24 had two kids recently one back in 2013 and one in January I weigh 107 and I hate it I want to be at least 130 im 5'7...
    cbmoore23 cbmoore23 22-25, F 2 Responses 7 hrs ago

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    I'm tired of being this person. This person with so much potential yet so much darkness. I'm tired of burdening others with my unfortunates. I want to be strong. I want to not be...
    terriblefixations terriblefixations 22-25, F 1 Response 2 days ago

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    I've been struggling with addiction for the past 3 years and I hope that many others can relate to me. I was finally able to stay sober at the beginning of August but that was...
    creaturefromanothertime creaturefromanothertime 22-25, F 2 Responses 2 days ago

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    I think today I finally realized I need to start being happy with myself and stop putting myself down so much, I've always suffered with confidence because of my appearance... it's...
    leahmayo96 leahmayo96 18-21, F 1 Response 3 days ago

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    About a month clean...down the drain... Maybe if my family didn't suck so much things would be different
    Brokentobits Brokentobits 13-15, F 5 days ago

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    I don't know if I am trans- I don't think I am. But sometimes I get incredibly bothered by my sex. I just don't feel like my gender. I have gotten to the point where in my head I...
    petrichoreographed petrichoreographed 16-17 5 days ago

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    I struggle with my image, honestly hate the way I look. I don't even know why I am like this. I hate every inch of my body. Its like an obsession to be thin or something.
    TheseBrokenSmiles TheseBrokenSmiles 16-17, F 1 Response 5 days ago

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    Whoever says that self-harm cannot be an addiction, I want to look them all in the eyes and tell them my story. 6 years on and off, after many times of trying and failing to quit...
    sqirshyfuzzball sqirshyfuzzball 18-21, F 3 Responses 6 days ago

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    It's just something that I do a lot now. I hate myself so much. I continually and increasingly see how utterly worthless I am. I always feel the urge to slice my skin open to just...
    Whobody Whobody 16-17, M 1 Response a week ago

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    I'm always in a struggle with my reflection. No matter how much weight I lose, I can't see any differences and my esteem is low.
    peacefulclouds peacefulclouds 22-25, F 2 Responses a week ago

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    I can't even freaking walk to my room from the shower anymore. Probably should have thought that through before cut all over my shoulders and upper arms. -.-
    brokenangel14 brokenangel14 13-15, F a week ago

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    I have a very addictive personality. I have had many struggles with drugs and alcohol and have always replaced addictions rather than recover. The first drug I took was ecstacy at...
    Facethedemons Facethedemons 22-25, F 1 Response a week ago

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    I sit at a table with my girlfriends varying sizes ranging from 10-22 and it strikes me that the closest i have been to a size zero person was off the pages of a magazine . By...
    Strawberrygiggles Strawberrygiggles 41-45, F 3 Responses a week ago

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    I struggle with this every day. I hate looking at myself in the mirror, hate getting on the scale, I hate putting clothes on and feeling the tightness. I have struggled with my...
    deleted deleted 26-30 9 Responses Aug 27

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    during my school year id get comments on my body i know I'm not skinny and everything but they just make it worst. i don't tell my friends about how i feel cus i think they will...
    tati01 tati01 13-15, F 5 Responses Aug 27

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    Like you know its a real problem when I have run out of room on my legs where my shorts cover and I have to start cutting on my shoulders...
    brokenangel14 brokenangel14 13-15, F Aug 27

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    Murky. It’s the only way I could begin to describe myself. I’m a puddle of dirty water, polluted and contaminated by the shoes of passing pedestrians. I’m left over raindrops...
    GivingUpGhosts GivingUpGhosts 18-21, F Aug 27

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    I feel like a part of me knows that I am actually a good looking young lady, but there's an even bigger part of me that says "No, that's not true".I'm 5'5 and approximately 205lbs...
    SplendidChai SplendidChai 18-21, F 1 Response Aug 26

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    life is really tough for me right now. dont really want to be here any more. fed up with exsisting and dealing with ****, nothing goes right so there is no purpose to being here
    evolution2012 evolution2012 31-35, M 2 Responses Aug 26

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    Not much of a struggle. I have it down pretty good. Nice to have a talent at something . Don't try this at home folks..I am a professional. Honestly tho I don't worry anymore...
    ArnoldJRimmer ArnoldJRimmer 46-50, M Aug 25

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    Since I was a child, I've struggled with depression. I didn't know what it was until I was an adult and sought help from a psychiatrist. It took trial and error to find the right...
    suburbanmother suburbanmother 46-50 Aug 25

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    i struggle with a K2/spice/legal high addiction. for around 2 years i use everyday. from waking up, to passing out, I would be totally out of it. I have no been clean for around 2...
    scottdominic94 scottdominic94 18-21, M 1 Response Aug 23

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    I have struggled with drug addiction for 32 years but today I am clean I have been clean for 3 years and 3 months I have never been in a detox or rehab I got clean off my own back...
    Vickinlondon Vickinlondon 46-50, M 4 Responses Aug 22

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    I am a grey-homosexual guy (I am not sexually attracted to anyone but prefer to date my own gender as my biology reacts more to it) and I have always been body conscious. I have...
    senilej89 senilej89 26-30, M Aug 22

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    I try and I try so hard to get right with god and fix myself but no matter how hard I try and how motivated I may be to quite I just seem to fall into the same dark hole and...
    hinatahyuga809 hinatahyuga809 18-21, F 5 Responses Aug 21

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    I feel confident in my own body. I love the way I look, even if I'm not super skinny or model height. But as soon as I leave the bathroom all of this self confidence disappear and...
    Stanpines Stanpines 18-21, F 3 Responses Aug 20

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    I'm on a business trip in another state and here I met my male colleague I haven't seen for 3 years. God he is so sexy in his confidence. Relaxed body moves, low deep voice and...
    AllyBad AllyBad 22-25, F 1 Response Aug 20

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    Everyone keeps telling me how 'gorgeous' and 'good looking' my boyfriend is and i know that i am butt ugly.. so now i am starting to question why he is with me at all? nobody ever...
    Friendship0nlyPlease Friendship0nlyPlease 22-25, F 9 Responses Aug 20

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    I feel ugly, unwanted and not good enough. I hate having to go through this because I judge myself way to much. I always compare myself to other girls that have a better butt than...
    jesseniab jesseniab 13-15, F 3 Responses Aug 19

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    My name is John, I struggled with over 8 years and now I can proudly say that I am in recovery! Throughout the years I struggled I went to many different treatment centers and...
    Kickaddiction Kickaddiction 26-30, M Aug 19

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    I lost my 14 year old brother when i was 15 due to long term use of Methylphenidate. Aka Ritalin. Prescribed never abused. Ive been obsessed with pharmaceuticals ever since and i...
    rehtaehssim rehtaehssim 26-30, F 1 Response Aug 19

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    I've got polycystic ovaries, makes you fat and hairy. The pill helps with the hair but not the weight, the other pill I was on did help with the weight but it can cause strokes...
    Paleandpolluted86 Paleandpolluted86 26-30, F 2 Responses Aug 19

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    I always compare my self to other girls because I feel like I'll never be pretty enough as them or good enough..
    Crazyxxgirl Crazyxxgirl 13-15, F 5 Responses Aug 19

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    My love is going to basic for 10 weeks and he's going to get even more perfect looking (emphasis on the word 'looking' because he is so much more than looks. He's the full package...
    greeneyyedgirl greeneyyedgirl 16-17, F 1 Response Aug 18

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    What's so ******* wrong with me that I WANT to cut myself AGAIN.
    brokenangel14 brokenangel14 13-15, F 1 Response Aug 18

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    I hate it I feel so fat but when I go places the people that now me always say you've lost weight uhm no I've gained it.. Does anyone now how to get rid of it without exercising...
    ChevyGurl20 ChevyGurl20 18-21, F 3 Responses Aug 18

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