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I Struggle With Self Loathing

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 69 People

    I Hate Who And What I Am

    I have been struggling with a lot of negative feelings that I went through as a child on the farm and in the 70s and 80s.... when Bill was abusing mewhen people abuse me I feel like I become them.... in some way.... I felt like people seen me like Ron Poacher or Bill etcI felt...
    czaristacrystals czaristacrystals 36-40, F Apr 24, 2012

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    Fred

    The thing about guys like me is that no one wants to be like guys like me. You see, I don’t think I’ve ever done anything according to plan or what should be done. It’s like my mind is a virus, except, you can’t catch it. Guys like me just have it. You don’t know what...
    fredpepper fredpepper 16-17 May 19, 2012

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    I Hate Who And What I Am

    I have been struggling with a lot of negative feelings that I went through as a child on the farm and in the 70s and 80s.... when Bill was abusing mewhen people abuse me I feel like I become them.... in some way.... I felt like people seen me like Ron Poacher or Bill etcI felt...
    czaristacrystals czaristacrystals 36-40, F Apr 24, 2012

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    Not A Happy Friday

    I woke up this morning and had another mini row with my OH. Felt physically awful - No idea if it is due to a dodgy pizza yesterday or drinking alcohol last night. Either way, it’s not good. I always do this. I fancy a drink and convince myself that I can handle it and I will...
    JennyJones1975 JennyJones1975 36-40, F Sep 2, 2011

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    Related Experiences

    Actually I don't even know if I struggle with it anymore. I've come to accept it. I hate myself more than any human being I've ever known. I'm stupid, clumsy, awkward and ugly. I...
    4everlonelyalone 4everlonelyalone 31-35, F 3 Responses Apr 7

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    Black or White-"Some mother you are!" A stranger snapped at my mother years ago. "Bad enough you marry a White man. Then you teach your children to hate themselves!" The stranger...
    ShahirAnkara ShahirAnkara 22-25, M 5 days ago

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    I always swore to myself that I wouldn't be this person. So many times I stopped myself from punching a wall. I was afraid to self harm. But, one razor blade and me alone, I...
    NobodyOfConcern NobodyOfConcern 13-15, F Mar 24

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    I've self harmed for a looooong time. It's pretty normal for me now, not some awful ordeal, just an annoying bit of my daily routine. I couldn't imagine quitting, not that keeping...
    KittyCunt KittyCunt 18-21, F Mar 31

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    I keep on loosing friends just to please the Friends I have now because they pissed one of them off and I can't help but want to self harm its killing me
    jorgoth jorgoth 16-17, M Apr 10

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    I've done it for a while but my friends try and stop me they do what they call "weekly check up to make sure" it's annoying but I understand why
    jorgoth jorgoth 16-17, M 1 Response Apr 1

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    So I was molested as a kid by a sibling I loved and trusted very much. I told my parents months after this individual moved out of our home and I told them I was ok. The truth is...
    bittersweetsmiles bittersweetsmiles 16-17, F 1 Response Apr 8

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    I am anorexic and bulimic I have been sense I was 10 I am also clinically depressed have problems with drug and alcohol use and also have problems with self harm
    pinapls pinapls 13-15, F 6 Responses Apr 8

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    I'm not overweight or underweight, I'm just a little chubby. The thing with my school is all the guys are searching for that perfect fit and beautiful smart girl No body is...
    leftunloved leftunloved 13-15, F 9 Responses Apr 8

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    I have struggled with weight all my life. It was very painful going to many treatments since little, facing rejection and laugh of the people... I inherited a thyroides problem...
    olives4me olives4me 26-30, F 1 day ago

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    I do not struggle with mental illness but I have a few people close to me that do. It is a hard road to take for both those struggling with mental illness and those that care for...
    Yeahbaybey Yeahbaybey 46-50, F 2 Responses 10 hrs ago

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    I think my mum who doesn't sound like my real mum really hate me ... It is a long story but since I existed I feel rejected by her and the way she talks to me and treat me shows...
    restlessuk restlessuk 31-35, F 2 Responses 3 hrs ago

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    I'm getting made fun of by some girls at my school because I used to self harm. They run away screaming, calling me a monster and what not. That makes me was to hurt even more, but...
    nlaJzy nlaJzy 13-15, F 4 Responses Mar 23

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    Mine are self harm, starving myself, and sex. Being a sex addict doesn't sound all that bad, and sometimes I can work with it, but I can be such a huge ***** and it's really...
    KittyCunt KittyCunt 18-21, F Mar 31

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    Yes, I am overweight because of it i was often teased and bullied by others. at that time i was drowning in fear and self pity that hinder me to enjoy life. so i changed my way of...
    Cahx2 Cahx2 22-25, F 2 Responses Apr 5

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    I know it sounds pretty pathetic, but I do. Everything is a struggle, everything is hard for me. Because of where I live, the simplest things become problems, I think 7 times...
    ListenerTalker ListenerTalker 22-25, F 3 Responses Apr 3

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    The hands of the clock echo a resonate roar...Tick Tock!My mind is always racing. My body in a sleepless state of shock.Physically it is that I am tossing and turning.Much empathy...
    Loverofpeace Loverofpeace 41-45, F 18 Responses Apr 3

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    Depression and anxiety has everything to do with realized or unrealized thoughts that attack the soul and paralyze a person into succumbing to fear and inaction. I struggle daily...
    liveurbestlifenow liveurbestlifenow 31-35, F Apr 5

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    I have found that it does not matter if she is wearing a swimming suit, business suit, or yoga pants. When a woman allows the world to see her self confidence, it simply makes her...
    avgjoe71 avgjoe71 41-45, M 4 days ago

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    I am 30 lbs overweight and I don't like the way my body looks. I am afraid of gaining weight and I look bloated in all my pictures. I want to get back to when I had my weight under...
    may4life may4life 26-30, F 1 Response Mar 22

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    I have a serious problem with cocaine, and I need to stop. Can any one share a story of recovery with me please..
    terriblefixations terriblefixations 22-25, F Mar 24

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    I am utterly disgusted with myself. I'm a teen that is 5'3 and weighs 140 lbs. I used to be much larger but managed to lose 15 lbs, getting to about 125. I gained a lot of it back...
    scoherron scoherron 16-17, F 8 Responses Mar 24

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    I have severe OCD, depression, generalized anxiety disorder, social anxiety disorder, and borderline personality disorder. I would rather have a deadly illness and be happy than...
    Rosaalie Rosaalie 18-21, F 2 Responses Mar 24

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    My belly is huge and my thighs are chubby. I feel so miserable about myself sometimes and my ex didnt help with that at all by even saying how unattractive i was.
    shazzarr shazzarr 18-21, F 11 Responses Mar 25

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    I think everyone on here can agree that we grew up in a generation where beauty is what people primarily hope for. It's almost like you've accomplished something if you're pretty...
    sullygirl611 sullygirl611 22-25, F 1 Response Mar 26

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    ugghhhh. I'm in Vegas. I really want to have a good time but I know I'm not skinny and can't pull off those cute little dresses. I'm nervous I'll look awful. and my friend whose...
    ktweav123 ktweav123 18-21, F 1 Response Mar 26

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    I'm back to wonder again what's the point of it all. We spend all our days working for money and our nights just finding ways to pass the time. Spend time with people who mean...
    alyssakayart alyssakayart 18-21, F 2 Responses Mar 28

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    I have to go to the beach next week with two other extremely skinny girls and I know they are prettier. How can I feel more confident?
    scoherron scoherron 16-17, F 2 Responses Mar 29

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    I really worship my moms comments, because she is the only person I would ever change for if she says so. Since the Age of eleven I have been struggeling with Eating Disorders...
    k2611 k2611 18-21, F 1 Response Mar 31

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    When I landed in my mid twenties, which is currently now. I realized something was wrong after relationship after relationship failed due to what? I had no idea under I dated a...
    xNicholasX xNicholasX 26-30, M 2 Responses Mar 31

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    BMI says i'm on the verge of becoming unhealthy- 24.5 or what it was. Been unhealthy for a long time now, a year without much exercise and mostly sitting in class and stressing a...
    inbetwienerz inbetwienerz 16-17, F 5 Responses Apr 1

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    I am single after 3 years of being in a serious relationship. I am . . . Fat and ugly and I didn't think I would have guys wanna get with me. Till one day a guy I know from college...
    lilnekomeow lilnekomeow 18-21, F 7 Responses Apr 3

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    I've never been very religious. the only time I ever went to church was with friends. I've always believed in God but I'm starting to feel different. my life has always been chaos...
    ktbugg ktbugg 16-17, F Apr 5

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    I hate the body that I am stuck in. I am an emotional eater. I eat certain foods like peanut butter obessively. I want so much to lose weight so I don't let my thoughts everyday to...
    rm411 rm411 31-35, F 4 Responses Apr 6

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    Just because I see myself as fat DOES NOT mean that all men see me that way. Honestly some men do, but because I'm always expecting the negative comments I rarely get offended. I'm...
    noodle425 noodle425 26-30, F 6 Responses Apr 9

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    I am fat. I cried when I got on the scale at a doctors appointment. I have never been this fat although I have been overweight for the majority of My life. I decided to restrict...
    icedrom779 icedrom779 31-35, F 1 Response a week ago

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    i have been diaognised with bulime but now have tency owrds anxerixa not coping at all feell down
    earthquakegirl earthquakegirl 26-30, F 5 days ago

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