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I Struggle With Self Loathing

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 62 People

    Not A Happy Friday

    I woke up this morning and had another mini row with my OH. Felt physically awful - No idea if it is due to a dodgy pizza yesterday or drinking alcohol last night. Either way, it’s not good. I always do this. I fancy a drink and convince myself that I can handle it and I will...
    JennyJones1975 JennyJones1975 36-40, F Sep 2, 2011

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    I Hate Who And What I Am

    I have been struggling with a lot of negative feelings that I went through as a child on the farm and in the 70s and 80s.... when Bill was abusing mewhen people abuse me I feel like I become them.... in some way.... I felt like people seen me like Ron Poacher or Bill etcI felt...
    czaristacrystals czaristacrystals 36-40, F Apr 24, 2012

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    I Hate Who And What I Am

    I have been struggling with a lot of negative feelings that I went through as a child on the farm and in the 70s and 80s.... when Bill was abusing mewhen people abuse me I feel like I become them.... in some way.... I felt like people seen me like Ron Poacher or Bill etcI felt...
    czaristacrystals czaristacrystals 36-40, F Apr 24, 2012

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    Fred

    The thing about guys like me is that no one wants to be like guys like me. You see, I don’t think I’ve ever done anything according to plan or what should be done. It’s like my mind is a virus, except, you can’t catch it. Guys like me just have it. You don’t know what...
    fredpepper fredpepper 16-17 May 19, 2012

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    Related Experiences

    2 years I struggled with self harm ... Scars on my wrist and thigh ... I haven't self harmed in over a year ... Just got my heart ripped out and stomped on .... I have my blade in...
    dyinginside4 dyinginside4 16-17, F 1 Response Nov 27

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    I started self harming three years ago I don't do it a lot I do it when I can't take it anymore. I first self harmed when I found out that dad cheated on mom and I felt so bad I...
    Busexx Busexx 16-17, F Nov 28

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    As I leave my flat at Webb house supported housing for people with mental health issues I walk down the road and I walk in mark & Spenser in middlesbrough I stand before the mirror...
    lostsouluk lostsouluk 31-35, F 10 Responses Nov 26

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    I've never hated myself before. But recently I'm struggling with is. less hating who am, but more hating who I was. a weak needy person. I know I'm not that person anymore but...
    0815Jade 0815Jade 22-25, F 1 Response Dec 4

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    What first brought me to this site was a blog that I came across. I now see that this site has turned for the worst lol... Any who a few of us still use it to vent blog etc...
    simplelife60 simplelife60 22-25, F 2 Responses Nov 23

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    I am 28 years old. I started to dislike my body at 12... how is it possible that I have disliked my reflection for 16 years? I struggle with it daily and even when I change my self...
    ozzgrrl ozzgrrl 26-30, F 3 Responses Nov 28

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    I have struggled with my body image for 7 years now and my father is partially to blame. He always dictated the things that I ate and told me that I needed to lose weight ect. And...
    JessicaTacos JessicaTacos 18-21, F 4 Responses Nov 24

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    I write this with my own experience in mind, I do not judge anyone yet I will 'preach' about how addiction can ruin your quality of life. I have struggled with opiates, but...
    TheCoitalQueen TheCoitalQueen 31-35, F 3 Responses Dec 6

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    I struggle with everything around me.. I am 26 years old and how could it be worse when your mother still call you a thousand times when you not come home in a week? I'm not 16...
    heartandbrain heartandbrain 26-30, F Dec 9

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    I'm ashamed to look at people, I don't want them to see my ugliness. I always, always.. think on how I look from third person, every angle, every lighting condition, and it gets me...
    xRiax xRiax 18-21, F 4 Responses Nov 28

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    I would never admit it to people I actually know but I have known for a while that I have a problem. Its weird to talk about and I doubt anyone cares but I am going to talk about...
    LandonS LandonS 16-17, M 2 Responses 6 days ago

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    I know he is real, but I feel like he "comes and goes". (Like exiting and opening a door) whenever he wants. I think the last time might've been my fault though. I know heaven...
    1lonelydaisy 1lonelydaisy 41-45 2 Responses Nov 21

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    But I love him, which just makes it more sad when I struggle <3
    thinkdeeper thinkdeeper 22-25, M Dec 5

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    Hence why the experience title has "struggled" meaning past tense.. Having an eating disorder is very difficult, at least for me it was. There were days i would just randomly...
    MichellexxLevine314 MichellexxLevine314 16-17, F 2 Responses Dec 9

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    I struggle to eat even a small meal a day without worrying about my body
    itsjustlucy123 itsjustlucy123 13-15, F 1 Response a week ago

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    as I sit here I took phentermine pill,have a body wrap,and have not eaten since yesterday. I don't understand how I've gotten this bad. its not even about being skinny I don't feel...
    goodgirl918 goodgirl918 26-30, F 2 Responses Nov 18

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    I recently found a suicide note I had written when I was at my worst with my eating disorder and depression. Although I'm still struggling with both of those things, I can...
    kaylxlynn kaylxlynn 18-21, F 2 Responses Nov 18

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    I wonder why it seems one can only get accepted now a days if they go out and party and get drunk every weekend. Isn't there a way to connect with others without getting drunk or...
    alwayswatchingu alwayswatchingu 18-21, F Nov 19

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    How can The Lord be so loving, yet it feels like he is just playing a game with me? I feel like I hit a point where I finally might "have it" (what I think is true faith) only to...
    1lonelydaisy 1lonelydaisy 41-45 Nov 21

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    I have been addicted to opiates for almost two years now. It started with a surgery,then a series of surgeries and a car wreck. I do have issues with pain that justify taking them...
    Emmigale Emmigale 41-45, F 1 Response Nov 21

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    I feel pressured to be muscly like those guys with big biceps and pecs, but I really don't.
    haygreen98 haygreen98 16-17, M Nov 22

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    I have an addiction with nicotine and alcohol... I refuse to see a counselor because when I'm there I'll deny till the death of me
    youguyssuck69 youguyssuck69 18-21, M 1 Response Nov 25

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    I purged the 3rd time yesterday... Before I was only restricted type. Than I started to exercise and also chew and spit and finally also purge... I'm forced to eat and need to put...
    fatuglyduckling fatuglyduckling 22-25, F 2 Responses Nov 25

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    I remember being able to walk up to a stranger, compliment them on something, and then we hit it off from there. I don't know what happened between then and now but now I can't...
    SweetcakesJr SweetcakesJr 13-15, F Nov 25

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    I find that when I am late to something (event/work/sports) or remember something that i forgot to do, I shut down and go into a reclusive state, where I find I can't socialize...
    RiverWilson RiverWilson 18-21, F 1 Response Nov 25

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    “I want to be alone… with someone else who wants to be alone.” Dimitri Zaik.
    chris23cnm chris23cnm 22-25, M Nov 27

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    Purged last night. Saw so much blood but I'm so used to seeing blood when I purge it doesn't scare me. I know I should be more worried but I just don't care. I'm feeled with apathy...
    yonnie97 yonnie97 16-17, F Nov 27

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    Im finding things really hard at the moment. People don't really understand but then again I dont really understand my own feelings, so why should anyone else? I can't go to school...
    sademptynothing sademptynothing 13-15, F 1 Response Nov 28

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    I visited a psychiatrist for the first time today because I have an attention problem and she prescribed me an attention deficit medicine without screening me so anxiety washed all...
    psychedelicblues psychedelicblues 18-21, F 3 Responses Nov 29

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    In this moment I feel like the same little girl who desperately knocked on her neighbors doors looking for someone to play with. Wandering around outside looking for a friend. Here...
    Shygirl917 Shygirl917 18-21, F Dec 5

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    I managed to go almost a year without many slip ups :( and now I'm suffering again. Every time I eat I feel guilty, but then I feel guilt if I don't eat. I'm fighting with myself...
    Tilly95 Tilly95 18-21, F Dec 7

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    I’m in big big panic… I gained weight. Didn’t weight me on the scale since 2 weeks however today even my pants were fitting (34 slim cut) which were really lose at my belly...
    fatuglyduckling fatuglyduckling 22-25, F Dec 8

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    I’m in big big panic… I gained weight. Didn’t weight me on the scale since 2 weeks however today even my pants were fitting (34 slim cut) which were really lose at my belly...
    fatuglyduckling fatuglyduckling 22-25, F 1 Response Dec 8

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    It's nearly impossible for me to do. People don't care about anything unless they're getting something out of knowing you. I can't be bothered with people like that!
    RememberingSunday22 RememberingSunday22 36-40, F Dec 9

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    i cant eat more that one small meal a day without being worried about my body
    wantthistoend wantthistoend 13-15, F 3 Responses a week ago

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    Whether it be from job interviews or people its a hard thing to deal with... When someone ignores me I take it as rejection as well.. it started from my mother because she has...
    Gaffa1234 Gaffa1234 22-25, F a week ago

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    It's on my mind almost all the time. I am under 4 inches and I have heard a lot of women say that they couldn't get anything out of sex with a small penis. I don't want to be huge...
    TinyPecker5 TinyPecker5 26-30, M 4 Responses 6 days ago

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    The moment you think you've got it, its spins around and bites you in the ***. I need to find someone living the same nightmare (preferably a woman) to talk it out with, share our...
    Mikeymlc Mikeymlc 26-30, M 5 days ago

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    as a kid i used to be really large so i never really grew out of feeling huge and still have a little dysmorphia despite losing 20+ pounds, used to have ana with bulimic tendencies...
    tabicatmeoww tabicatmeoww 18-21, F 4 Responses 2 days ago

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    I can't take it anymore. My best friend is making my life miserable. All she talks about is self harm and suicide. I'm trying to get better and stay clean and she's making it...
    misfit182 misfit182 16-17, F 7 Responses Nov 20

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    today i got a job as a graphic designer in photoshop..... i was totally self taught... never give up :)
    LittleCreates LittleCreates 22-25, M 3 Responses Nov 22

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    Sometimes just a typical conversation with others is what you need most.. Here's to being antisocial and crazy.
    TheLonelyStoner95 TheLonelyStoner95 18-21, M 1 Response Nov 19