I Suffer From Bipolar Disorder and Depression

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 188 People

    I have been on meds for 18 years.

    Was diagnosed with depression at age 16 then at 20 diagnosed with bipolar disorder. I have been on practically everything. Some do nothing. Some work for a while then just stop. I've been doing this constant trial and error with different combinations for 18 years now. Almost...
    jks1981 jks1981
    36-40, F
    Jul 13, 2015

    My psychology teacher told me

    after a lesson on bipolar disorders that she believes I may be bipolar II that idea scares me
    Knmazzeo Knmazzeo
    22-25, F
    1 Response Apr 27, 2015

    Why Does It Have To Be This Intense?

    Why do I have to feel things so intensely? Like I have mental headphones on that are turned up to the max? And why do I have to bottle it all up? So I don't bother other people, evidently. It just offends and annoys people when you vent your frustrations or your feelings. So...
    kiuz645 kiuz645
    31-35, M
    6 Responses Jul 16, 2010

    The mood swings are all over the place

    and it's so uncomfortable, a feeling of pure sadness and mourning attacks me and it's almost like I've gotten my heartbroken all over again? That type of feeling. ~ All it takes is a little bit of my jealously/envy to come out and it all hits me at once. It's like I have no time...
    mentallyhigh mentallyhigh
    22-25, F
    Aug 26, 2015

    Much Better Now

    I was diagnosed late last year and I was put on meds. So far it's been great. No more depression so bad that I never leave my room or mania so high I spend all my money on other people. Much better.
    bvb1123 bvb1123
    41-45, M
    2 Responses Jan 3, 2011

    Conscience And Subconscience

    I read our subconscience is huge compared to our conscience mind. That's why even though through our eyes our range of view of the world around us and what we perceive is limited, our subconscience fills in. Our subconscience lets us know when a situation is dangerous, or if we...
    Stelagtite Stelagtite
    Mar 19, 2013

    Real Bad Day

    I've been cycling the last few weeks.  Not bad enough to change my meds but bad enough to mess up my daily life.  Today was a depression day.  I didn't move out of my recliner.  It got worse as the day went on.  By late afternoon I was suicidal.  The logical part of my...
    mrsdonna31 mrsdonna31
    3 Responses Mar 22, 2012

    I Always Knew...and Now That Someone Else Confirmed It, Man...

    Well, I have had a hell of a run trying to get a hand hold over my behaviour. My parents knew when i was in highschool, and they were already getting treatement for themselves with their lives. But damn, now I know that I'm Bipolar with an Anxiety Disorder. And not only that...
    omnifool omnifool
    22-25, M
    Apr 13, 2010

    I Am A Father In The Philippines

    I was born in California but have been living in the philippines now for 13 years. I recieve a dissability pension due to my having Bi-Polar 2. I am very lonely here as i have trouble making friends.I'ts really been a strain on my significant other and our children. im at a point...
    kaliborobb kaliborobb
    46-50, M
    1 Response Jan 5, 2013

    There Is Hope For Bipolar Sufferers

    Hi, I also suffer from Bipolar Disorder 2. Although our episodes may not be as extreme as BP 1, it should be regarded just as seriously. I hate taking meds as well, but I have to. I can see straight away when i have forgotten my meds for a few days. My moods change and i begin to...
    kramerkid kramerkid
    Jul 12, 2013

    Not Too Sure

    there are alot of people debating what I suffer from at the moment. they know i have depression and anxiety, but the rest is just an educated guess. I have two psychologists that are having a debate on what I actually have. The one says that I am bipolar and the...
    sindayla sindayla
    18-21, F
    5 Responses May 8, 2009

    Yes I Do

    I struggle from Bipolar disorder, and from Depression. I was DX with Type II Bipolar disorder, and Major Depression *Clinical Depression* Both of them are not easy to deal with at all. But I try...and somehow I have managed so far.  
    deleted deleted
    Oct 25, 2012

    It feels like my whole life is tumbling down.

    At times I'm so happy and socialable, but at times I withdraw and be isolated from my friends. At times I enjoy being with my friends, at times I will feel so insecure that I don't trust them at all. I know I have to accept people for who they are but during the time I am down...
    crimsonelise crimsonelise
    22-25, F
    1 Response Nov 3, 2014
    dja811213 dja811213
    36-40, M
    May 4, 2015

    I Think I Pretend Too Much.

    Even on this web site I think I try to make myself seem stronger than I really am. Is that because I'm afraid? I think there are a lot of reasons I'm not forthcoming. I don't practice what I preach and in reality I think I'm trying to wish away my issues. I'm struggling...
    Stelagtite Stelagtite
    Apr 2, 2013

    These last couple of days have been the worst

    of my life, I found a lump in my underarm, I was worried but enough to go to the doc, but not that much. Cancer goes in my family, but I mean I'm 21.. I didn't seriously think of it. My sister yelled at me and called me a bunch of things for worrying enough to even go to the doc...
    lily449 lily449
    22-25, F
    Mar 27, 2015

    My Brother'S Son Is Terminally Ill.

    My brother's son was born with a genetic defect. It is a spontaneous mutation called Neurofibromatosis. Typically called the "Elephant Man" disease. He lost most vision in his left eye due to glieomas (tumors) on his optic nerve at the age of 3. He has MRI's every six months...
    Stelagtite Stelagtite
    Mar 25, 2013

    I Am A Father

    today i hit my son 1-5-2013
    kaliborobb kaliborobb
    46-50, M
    1 Response Jan 5, 2013

    aaaaand the suicidal thoughts are back again.

    **** me. just ******* kill me
    peaceinmiles peaceinmiles
    22-25, F
    3 Responses Jun 9, 2015


    I've craved less intensity in my life.My moods are extreme most of the time. I find it hard to just be content. I'm either really sad or really manic most of the time.In the last 3 months, I've had more contentment, less mood intensity. I feel like I've waited a lifetime for this...
    anstia anstia
    31-35, F
    Mar 16, 2012

    I Am Not Afraid Of The Information I Am Recieving.

    I often get information in my head but lately I've paid more attentiona and now I'm going to document the goings on. Last week I was working at my crafts and it was very quite as I worked. My mind gets clear when I do my art work. Slowly a name came in...Mary. Then I thought...
    Stelagtite Stelagtite
    Mar 21, 2013

    I finally have accepted the diagnosis of

    bipolar disorder 1 after being off my meds for two years..(I thought I could beat it :/) my episodes in the last six months have been so intense that I sometimes feel like I'm losing it. I don't have support at all and only 3 people know... I don't know where to go without...
    smilecry81 smilecry81
    36-40, F
    Aug 26, 2014

    Can I Get Out Of Myself Long Enough To Help Someone Else?

    So god damn wrapped up with my issues it makes me mad. Forcing myself to get out of myself and focus on someone else oddly helps. A redirection of view. Look that way instead of this. I have to think...THINK about somebody else and focus on their situation. For that time...
    Stelagtite Stelagtite
    Mar 24, 2013

    if you were looking for one sign not to kill

    yourself today, then this is it. please read this; maybe it'll help I wanted to kill myself so badly, not even too long ago. life seemed like so much work, and all for nothing. I spent days just crying and researching the most effective and least painful ways to kill myself. I...
    peaceinmiles peaceinmiles
    22-25, F
    4 Responses Jun 14, 2015

    Can'T Find Any Balance.

    I'm all over the place lately. My emotions are unchecked and today I screwed up with a friend on facebook. I said what came to my head and it was not very sensitive. I feel like such a smuck. I hate the fact that I'm not able to be in check with myself enough not to screw up...
    Stelagtite Stelagtite
    Mar 18, 2013

    Not All Your Fault

    The amount of stresses in life that someone has, the rotten childhood, the more nasty people someone has put up with, the more that someone is blamed, degraded, mentally or physically beaten, the more someone has lost all adds up and can make someone become maniacally ill. It is...
    blurblebuble blurblebuble
    36-40, F
    2 Responses Jun 12, 2013

    I Lost My Job Two Years Ago.

    I had a mental meltdown two years ago and was hospitalized and went on disability. I lost my job and my house. Now I'm trying to get back on my feet. I tried to go back to work 3 days a week back in December but had a breakdown after two weeks. My doctor recommended that I go...
    Stelagtite Stelagtite
    Mar 22, 2013

    being lonely sucks. i always get feel terribly

    alone on my down days, too...
    peaceinmiles peaceinmiles
    22-25, F
    1 Response May 27, 2015

    I've had depression for over 5 years.

    I've been bullied an sexually abused and I just care to much about things and no one understands me I don't even understand myself sometimes I'm really weird which I know isn't like a bad thing but I'm like really really weird. I've also tried and failed to commit suicide twice...
    bieverything bieverything
    18-21, F
    Mar 27, 2015

    What Would You Think If I Told You You'Re Stories And Information Is Being Used.

    Over 25 million people openly share their stories and information on this site. How do you know it is not being used as a statistical information gathering site? All the things you've said, all the stories you've told EP could be gathering and using it to publish in journals to...
    Stelagtite Stelagtite
    Mar 21, 2013

    My Whole Life

    I use to draw things crying a lot, I use to be shunned from other children because they were afraid of me because I never smiled and when I did it was a forced smile that looked like I was going to bite someone. My mother noticed the signs but never got me help, eventually it...
    IvannaQuinn IvannaQuinn
    Dec 1, 2012

    Hi, I'm a 21 year old medical student living

    abroad, I was diagnosed with bipolar nearly 3 years ago, and before that I struggled a lot. I let it get quite far before my family told me to seek medical help, and finally gave me the courage to take a step forward. I've dealt with severe depression and bipolar for as long as...
    lily449 lily449
    22-25, F
    Apr 26, 2015

    It Makes My Friendship Getting Bad

    I diagnosed to have Bipolar Disorder and I really suffer from depression in my self. I live in roller coaster feeling and mood in a long period of years, and for this month its getting worse. One thing that really disturb me is when I'm in the class with my friends. I can easily...
    dhianhayls dhianhayls
    18-21, F
    Dec 7, 2011

    Sugary Treats At Night Give Me Nightmares.

    I don't know what it means Having frustrating dreams My subconscious is probably working things out Its been tough lately no doubt I wake up and stay up My mornings are corrupt If I stay in bed Those dreams won't be dead They alter my moods Eating sugary snacks for foods Which...
    Stelagtite Stelagtite
    1 Response Mar 28, 2013

    I Have Friends I Can'T Help.

    A friend of mine is confined to a wheel chair due to incorrect medicine he had received at a hospital a while back. His sister has been caring for him in her home. Plus he has schizophenia. His sister has recently been diagnosed with stage four breast cancer. She is...
    Stelagtite Stelagtite
    Mar 22, 2013

    My Roommate Is Bipolar

    i want help to understand my roommate better ; he is also paralyzed beause he attemted to end his life
    chel98 chel98
    46-50, F
    2 Responses Jan 2, 2011

    Maybe I'm Crazy

    It's funny sometimes the moods i go through on a daily basis, i mean it seems like they just have minds of their own. This morning i woke up screaming, then I was exhausted, after just sitting quietly for a minute i was depressed, last night i was crying for what seemed like...
    darkdestiny921 darkdestiny921
    22-25, F
    2 Responses May 27, 2011

    Why Am I So Afraid Wheni Have A Perfect Day?

    Didn't get much sleep last night. I had worked part time at my job yesterday and things went well but I just kept getting up during the night. I wasn't looking forward to today because I had to got to the dentist and get three cavities filled and I knew I was going to be out of...
    Stelagtite Stelagtite
    Mar 20, 2013

    My Bipolar Depression Got Worse The Last Two Months, Meds Don't Help...

    I've been in bed for two months, all I want to do is sleep. I have panic attacks, agoraphobia, a new condition that when I have to wait for anything and any amount of time, I get a panic attack and hyperventilate. I have no life, nothing makes me happy, I have no interest in...
    simonbirch simonbirch
    56-60, F
    4 Responses Mar 31, 2012
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