I Suffer From Bulimia

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 58 People

    4 Her

    BULIMIA IS GOING TO BE THE DEATH OF ME. IT TAKES A HOLD N WONT LET GO.I TRY TO FIGHT IT, BUT IT GETS SO HARD.FOOD IS THE ENEMY.I BARELY EAT, BUT STILL THE FOOD, IS LIKE A BEAST INSIDE OF ME FIGHTING TO ESCAPE. I TRY, BUT AT TIMES THE URGE TO PUKE IS TO STRONG. TODAY, I WILL TRY...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    1 Response Dec 4, 2009

    I have come to terms with accepting I am in

    fact suffering from bulimia nervosa. For those of you who don't know, it is an eating disorder that ranges from a small variety of eating habits. Mine including overrating which is called binging and feeling guilty after and forcing myself to throw up which is called purging. It...
    kayelani kayelani
    18-21, F
    2 Responses May 24, 2014

    Trying

    some days it is so much harder, not to give in. i think to myself, i will just puke this one time, but i know if i give in, the nightmare will start all over again. i promised her, my grandaughter, my perfect little girl(she is 10 months old)that i wouldnt give in. am trying, am...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    1 Response Nov 18, 2009

    Hate It

    i feel as if this is it, this is my ******* life. i try my hardest to beat bulimia. but no matter what inh the end i ******* fail.maybe i was meant to be ****** -up.
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    Dec 29, 2009

    Gross

    i feel like a gross disgusting person. i cant stand the sight of myself. am skin on bones. i can ******* wear my 9 yr old daughters jeans, n she weighs about 60 some lbs.i never thought bulimia would take over n control me like it has. bulimia will kill me if i let it, i have to...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    Jan 2, 2010

    Taken Over

    I am 26 years old, hw140-cw118-lw105. I have suffered from bulimia for 3 years. I cannot believe how strong of a hold it has taken on my life. Currently I am struggling with not only suffering from bulimia but hating myself for not being able to suffer successfully at a...
    fighting4life fighting4life
    26-30, F
    1 Response Aug 12, 2009

    Tried

    i have tried calling new shrinks 4 months now. cant ever get in. either they r full, r dont deal w/ eating disorders. so i keep trying on my own. but i always fail. i hate myself, i hate my ******* life. i have let bulimia take over my life. i wish i was ******* dead.
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    Dec 10, 2009

    Today, i was passing by the primary school

    when a little boy told me that Halloween was over and that I had to lose weight cause I'm fat. He was around 8.. How can you be so mean at this age? My weight is THE thing affecting all my life. I've been bulimic for 3 years now.. I've already got a really bad image of myself, i...
    everybodywantshappiness everybodywantshappiness
    18-21, F
    1 Response Nov 4, 2014

    10 Years And Counting...

    I have been a bulimic since I was 14 years old. I weighed like 220 lbs when i first started. I lost about 50 lbs in 5 or 6 months when i was 16. I lost the weight because I found out I have to exercise as well as throw up. Once I stopped throwing up, I gained all the weight...
    Breakthru Breakthru
    22-25, F
    Apr 13, 2010

    I've Been Making Myself Sick Since I Was About 12, And Im Now 19

    But recently, i've been finding it hard to throw up all the food ive been eatig, and subsequently putting on weightt. I feel so guilty, even thoguh, i hae stopped binging but i eat healthily but even this is turning into a nightmare, i cant seem to make myself sick anymore and i...
    roxannebalfe roxannebalfe
    18-21
    Apr 21, 2011

    Ok

    am getting help again 4 my bulimia, so i have been doing good w/ eating n all 4 know. but its always there the thoughts in my mind. but i have to keep trying, if i dont i might as well give-up n die. i have to be the strong one 4 those around me. but it gets so hard at times...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    Feb 4, 2010

    Wonder

    i barely eat now most days. food is my worst enemy.i want to stop this craziness, but how?i havent puked in over 3 months, but last night, i failed AGAIN!i barely ate a few bites of food, but it was like the food rebelled against me, i had to get it out.today is a new day, i have...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    Dec 4, 2009

    Trying

    so its day 3 i have not puked. i consume less then 1000 cal, a day. but i havent puked. i have to try again. i weigh about 90 some lbs. bulimia is killing me.
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    Jan 14, 2010

    A Glimmer Of Hope

    I  have been looking 4 a shrink 4 months. have great insurance but couldnt find one, anyway finally found one. i hope this time i can beat bulimia, i know it will be hard, but i will do anything to get my life back. n put bulimia in my past.
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    Jan 22, 2010

    Disgusting

    i look like a skeleton, skin, clings tightly to my bones. when i look at myself, my ribs i can clearly see, my stomach is sunken in, i know i look like ****. i ******* try so hard, but bulimia takes over , i have no control. bulimia always wins. i can wear my 9 yr, olds jeans...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    Jan 3, 2010

    Bulimia

    u control my life, u control my ******* mind, i try to beat u, to get control of my life again, but u always win, in the end.
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    Jan 11, 2010

    PART of Me

    bulimia is w/ me whereever i go.it will never truly leave me.even if i control that urge , she is there inside of me, waiting , watching 4 me to have just one weak moment, then i will have to start all over again.
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    Sep 25, 2009

    Want

    i just want to be free , before bulimia took ahold of me, how dumb of me not to see that in the end it will be the death of me, i cant stop, it never ends, one day i wont have the strength to fight n bulimia will kill me in the end, u can say stop, get help, u think am not trying...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    Dec 15, 2009

    Always W/ Me

    its been several weeks again since i havent puked. the urge is there, but i keep myself busy. after i eat, i do anything from housework to just going out of the house, so as not to give in. i have fought bulimia 4 over 22 yrs know.am 38 years old. will i suceed this time ?! i...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    Feb 21, 2010

    Nope

    i have not given in, its been alomost a month. i want to, but i have to stop. i watch what i eat. i'am careful to keep track of my calories.i took ex-lax last night, i know i shouldnt have, but at least am not puking.
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    Oct 12, 2009

    Bulimia

    u appeared one day from out of nowhere, i didnt understand, 4 a time i thought i could control u, i never realized until it was too late that u took my life over, u invaded my life, u took so much from me, leaving me weak n so alone, u will tear apart my very soul, u r killing me...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    Jan 20, 2010

    Finally

    after months of trying to find a shrink, finally saw on the other day. she was really nice. i havent puked in almost 2 weeks. i may fail, but i wont stop trying. i have to beat bulimia.
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    Jan 27, 2010

    It's been just an hour

    since I last vomited.. I feel ashamed yet I don't want to stop until I reached my weight goal 😕
    franmarrburgos franmarrburgos
    18-21, F
    1 Response Mar 13, 2015

    4 Ever

    will this horrible cycle of bulimia ever end? i want my life back, i cant control bulimia, it controls me. i struggle to win, but in the end, am puking up whatever little bit of food i have eaten. its so hard fighting a battle inside of yourself.
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    1 Response Dec 25, 2009

    A Part Of Me Now?

    So, I am 35 years old and have been bulimarexic since I was 13 or 14. I go through periods of fasting and throwing up the little that I do eat to full blown b/p. I have had periods of a normal diet. Especially while I was pregnant whith my children, although there were...
    Brynjana Brynjana
    31-35, F
    Dec 9, 2009

    Use To

    the other day my oldest daughter was looking at pictures, some from yrs ago, others just 2 or 3 yrs ago. i looked at myself in those pictures, n i cried. i looked like a normal person, not a skeleton, on legs. i have suffered from bulimia 4 over 22 yrs. in the end bulimia is...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    Jan 3, 2010

    Trying

    its been over a month i have not given in to bulimia. its so hard at times not to just give in even once. but like an alcoholic, u cant have even one drink so i know that if  i puke once its gonna start all over again. its sounds stupid to say, but its been so many yrs since...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    1 Response Oct 23, 2009

    I Need A Break!!!!!

    Hi I'm new and I've been starting to think its time to ask for help, I've been bulimic sine I was 11 I'm nearly 26. I've kept it my secret shame thought my mum know I was throwing up and tried to talk to teachers , but we are a family that doesn't talk about things! In my 14...
    Amali3 Amali3
    22-25
    May 6, 2012

    Do I Have An Eating Disorder? :s

    Ummm i dunno where to start really. In the last week ive kinda realised that my eating habits are not normal. Im 19 now, 20 soon. I have diaries from when i was 13 years old till now, and from that age to my age now i thought and think im fat. I look at pictures from when i was...
    sashaaax0o sashaaax0o
    18-21, F
    Sep 4, 2010

    Trying

    its been 8 days today, i have not given in to my bulimia. will i make it this time, not sure. but if i fail, i will keep tring. i wont give- up this time.
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    1 Response Sep 21, 2009

    Once Again

    so sick of this ******* bulmia controlling my life. i want to stop. am trying to stop. but its like trying not to breathe v4 a day. u say just stop, eat n dont puke. its not that simple. am so skinny, i cant stand to look at myself,its gonna kill me one of these days. i want to...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    1 Response Sep 11, 2009

    ??????????

    there has to be a way,i need help.am so afraid to ask.they think i have stop pukeing.(i think they now i have started again)i am not weak,am never shy ,i always am the loudest person in a room.lol.but am to scared to tell my family i need treatment.i cant keep doing this.29...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    3 Responses Aug 5, 2009

    Letting Go

    u came into my life, uninvited, i let u in though, even though i knew u were not my friend, u have always been there 4 me. when i felt lost u eased my pain, when i wanted to scream n die u took my hand n helped me to go on, in a strange why u become my worst n best friend, i...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    Feb 17, 2010

    If Only

    if i never had to eat again, life would be so much easier. i limit my calorie intake never more then 1500 hundred calories a day, most days LESS. but still the food , is so hard to keep down at times. its a struggle. i fight, i feel i may never win. i know its not the right way...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    1 Response Dec 4, 2009

    Eating Disorder Clinic O_o

    Im 18years old. I live with my parents. My periods have been messed up for a while now and my mum noticed, ive also been depressed (I guess)  I thought about killing myself, was actually going to do it one time but idk what happned. well that kinda stuff is hard to hide...
    pine90apple pine90apple
    18-21, F
    Jun 20, 2009

    Why am I still doing this?

    This is a kid's disease. I am still doing it at 32 years old. There is no way for me to get away from it. I can not live life a normal life like other people. I am so afflicted that I would rather die, I am so ******* tired of trying it is killing me.
    MollyVonFrankenstein MollyVonFrankenstein
    31-35, F
    1 Response Aug 27, 2014

    Always Failure

    i feel like bulimia will kill me in the end. i have lost over 30 lbs in less then a yr. am about 95 lbs now. i try , but in the end bulimia always win, in the end i always fail.
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    Dec 14, 2009

    Am Here

    i was bulimic 4 over 22 yrs. now at 39 yrs old i have finally stopped 4 over 7 months now. yes its a struggle. n some days i want to give in to that old urge. but i cant n wont go back to that dark place in my life. if i do i now i will die. i promised my granddaughter before she...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    2 Responses Sep 10, 2010

    Escape

    i want to runaway from everyone n everything.if only it would solve my problems. but i will still be ****** up me whereever i go.pity party 4 me. if i left they would only care cause god forbid anyone else but me n cook r clean.
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    Aug 6, 2009

    Want To

    i know i need to get real help for mt bulimia. i cant do this on my own.my oldest daughter who is 22, understands how hard i struggle, she has her own struggles to, but hers r not w/ bulimia.my husband does not want me to get help. does he enjoy the pain i go thru. i dont know...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    1 Response Jan 2, 2010

    Never

    will i ever be free, to live a so called normal life? bulimia is a nightmare, it takes over n controls your life. food becomes a nightmare, life becomes hell.every time i think i can beat it, bulimia wins again. no matter how hard i try, i can win.
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    Dec 18, 2009

    Liar

    am a liar, a fake, i swore i would stop, that this would be the end. but again, here i am sticking my fingers down my throat, puking up, the little bit i eat. n lets not 4 get the ex-lax to. i ******* cant take this, i did this to myself, i let bulimia in  n it took over my...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    Dec 10, 2009

    Lrfskinny

    I am a bulimmic that can't seem to throw up anymore..anybody else have this problem?   This is the first time i am reaching out
    lrfskinny lrfskinny
    51-55, F
    Nov 15, 2009

    Bulimia

    i wont let u back into my life. am closing that door, sealing it shut. u can try to get out but i wont let u. u have controlled my life 4 over 22 yrs. i hate u, but depended on u to. u took over my mind n my life. u have caused so much damage to my body n soul. u were the eneny...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    3 Responses Mar 9, 2010

    Trying

    so its been almost 2 weeks again since i stopped puking. its hard to stop . but i have to. bulimia is ruining my life. now though when i get upset r angry, i try to release the feelings other ways. but the last few days, i find myself, digging into my skin, tearing n pulling at...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    1 Response Jan 28, 2010
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