Post
Experience Project iOS Android Apps | Download EP for your Mobile Device

I Suffer From Severe Depression

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 1,102 People

    Sometime I am scared to be happy,

    because if I am happy I feel it will be taken from me and I will just fall from a higher points. At least when I numb myself they can't hurt me.
    Bedmonster Bedmonster 70+, M 1 Response Aug 10, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I am tired. I have no joy.

    No one calls or visits. I have not been held or hugged in years. I wish I could vanish into thin air.
    JessGF75 JessGF75 36-40, F 2 Responses a week ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I have done since I was 13

    after my father died. I never knew what it was, I knew it wasn't normal but didn't know what to do, or who to talk too. Being the early 90s it was still treated by most people as you were soft or queer so I hid it. I bottled it up and wore a mask. So well that when I told my...
    Benderonbum Benderonbum 36-40, M 1 Response Jun 15, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Can Barely Function Anymore.

    All i wanted to do was battle this on my own.  I didnt want to become addicted to expensive medication, and have to deal with terrible withdrawl symtoms and side affects.  I can't afford a counselor, so i tried to make new friends, get outside, exercise, eat well, ect. to...
    dreamliving dreamliving 22-25, F 4 Responses May 29, 2011

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Tie a noose around your mind loose enough to

    breathe fine and tie it, To a tree, and tell it, "You belong to me, This ain't a noose it's a leash, And I have news for you, You must OBEY me!" #twentyonepilots
    yonnie97 yonnie97 16-17, F Dec 7, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    The Giving Tree by Shel Silverstein.

    I heard it was about a tree and a boy. The tree was generous. Very generous, in fact, it may have been too generous. Perhaps a better word for the tree would be altruistic? Being altruistic is giving too much of yourself to someone else and not leaving...
    torr62 torr62 13-15, F Dec 18, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Just When You Think It'S Better..

    You know when you have a day where things seem to be looking up and then suddenly you're laying in bed, alone, and you crash right back down.. I can't even do it anymore. I can't get my hopes up. I can't seem to have one good full day. I have this new attitude of not taking...
    becausefishrule becausefishrule 18-21, F 3 Responses Jan 29, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    trying to be someone i'm not is hard maybe in a

    way it's who i wanna be. its an endless strugle,its so hard i never wanted to fit the mold of society but here i am doing it or atleast trying to fit in... gees here i am trying to be who you want me to be and being who you want me to be is far from who i wanna be, i'm doing it...
    sixlives sixlives 22-25, F Nov 30, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I really need a friend

    or someone to vent to right now :(
    lanadorkhas lanadorkhas 16-17, F 1 Response Dec 26, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Catch-22

    How does one recover from a near breakdown when living under the same circumstances that caused it in the first place?  Becoming financially dependent on my family due to a physical disability has been (and this situation has always been my vision of) a private hell and it...
    TexasUrbanPioneer TexasUrbanPioneer 51-55, F 1 Response Feb 20, 2009

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I just can't do this whole life thing anymore

    so to those who find happiness in others pain congratulations you have finally broke me and I give up
    NoahBarwell4 NoahBarwell4 13-15, M 2 Responses Apr 15, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    http://www.experienceproject.

    com/stories/Am-Lonely/5249647 Please read this
    torr62 torr62 13-15, F Dec 14, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I don't know where to start this off,

    but I'll just first say that I can't do anything remarkable. I'm not special. I'm not good at anything. I'm just ordinary. I try so hard to change that, but nothing I do is good enough. I'm slowly starting to rethink all of this. I'm starting lose hope. I'm not seeing a...
    torr62 torr62 13-15, F 1 Response Dec 14, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I've been depressed ever

    since I was an adolescent. I came from a family that valued academic achievement over all else, and I'm the black sheep of the family: I'm sensitive, I need love in my life, but I received virtually none from my parents. They didn't beat me or starve me or anything, it was like...
    LiquidThinking LiquidThinking 41-45, M 3 Responses Jun 7, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    This is the second night in a row,

    that on my way home from work, I've wondered what it would feel like to drive off the bridge and into the icy river below. I've been on the same dose of Zoloft for almost 6 years. Why is this happening all of a sudden, again? I hate feeling this way. It's like there's someone...
    sugarbabysub sugarbabysub 31-35, F 3 Responses Feb 1

    Your Response

    Cancel

    the worst feeling is wanting to cry,

    but you've held the pain in so long that the tears wont come out. your just left there to feel miserable without relief.
    eAngeliqueXX eAngeliqueXX 13-15, F Oct 28, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    You may mess up, but you are not a mess up.

    You may make a mistake, but you are not a mistake. You may screw up, but you are not a screw up. You may fail, but you are not a failure. You are not defined by your weaknesses You are not the only one who has missed the shot Or the...
    torr62 torr62 13-15, F Dec 15, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel
    HalfVenti HalfVenti 13-15, F Feb 28

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Invisible.

    Their are some days were I do nothing but cry, and today is one of those days. The place were I feel the happiest is in my dreams, it's the only place I can go to get away from reality for a few hours. I'm just so confused, it feels like I have no other emotions, I'm just in my...
    Simon232 Simon232 16-17, M 10 Responses Oct 27, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    You don't even remember what you said to me

    that night. Or how it ****** me up. The words that made me cry for days. And just want to give up. I told you I was fine. I told you I didn't mind. I told you I was sorry. And I told you I would try harder. But I wasn't fine, and I'm still not. Those words you said replay over...
    BrookeCayla BrookeCayla 16-17, F 1 Response Oct 6, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I can't tell if my medications aren't working

    anymore or if it's just something that's going to pass soon. I'm scared to feel like I did before. 2 years out of school already, I have to come back to it next year, otherwise I'll just end up crazier than I already am. My mind's always full of things that I can't even tell...
    lanadorkhas lanadorkhas 16-17, F Dec 27, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I always try to think good thoughts.

    I post happy things but today is not the day. I dont take those stupid pills the doctors give me because medicine is a lie !!!!
    amberlxl amberlxl 18-21, F 1 Response Nov 25, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel
    pmo77 pmo77 36-40, M 2 Responses Oct 30, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Always Felt This Way

    I've been depressed since i was 8 yrs old. at 9 i started cutting, scratching, burning, scalding. at 11 i started to really come up with ideas on how to commit suicide and by 16 i was attempting the ideas of overdosing and driving recklessly almost 2 -3 times a week. in a matter...
    Sunflowers07 Sunflowers07 26-30 4 Responses Oct 9, 2008

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I suffer depression bad.

    ..so hard to talk about to someone else as its awekward..well im posting this up...I have depression I think its almost severe..i pretend to be happy but im not..its fake..i deep down is a broken person..i cant break through it..i thought I did by I didn't...I think its money...
    LegendBattles LegendBattles 26-30, M Nov 14, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    It's Becoming Unbearable.

    It's been seven years since I've started realizing how much, at the same time how little, impact I have on the world. Seven years since I began to doubt my worth. Seven years since I began to notice that I could sense, feel, and notice things that other people couldn't even...
    LochRaven LochRaven 18-21, F 2 Responses Jan 5, 2010

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I can't breath. My depression is screaming

    inside of me. Im trapped by the need to act perfectly. Suppressing who I am to who I'm supposed to be. Falling in a pit so deep. I wonder if people can even see how empty I am underneath. How will I ever break free. Because I'm drowning inside of my own internal misery.
    AwkwardTurtle46 AwkwardTurtle46 16-17, F 3 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Depression is like a huge storm cloud,

    no matter how far you think you've gone, that cloud will catch up. :(
    whyusteens whyusteens 13-15, F Feb 25

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I have suffered from depression

    since I was 10 . I have out bursts where I want to die. I have tried to kill myself but failed . I'm scared to tell anyone not even my family knows. Only a few of them because they walked in when I had a knife pointed to my chest ready to kill myself. As soon as they walked in...
    therealme101 therealme101 13-15, F 3 Responses Feb 8, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I Dont Tell No One..

    i dont even know why i'm writing a story about this..i guess just because i hope, in putting these words down i will get something out of it..or i dont know...i'm not here looking for attention at all...okay i can't remember when i haven't been depressed..even when i was a kid i...
    lmpulsive lmpulsive 18-21, M 3 Responses Apr 17, 2011

    Your Response

    Cancel

    My Life Is Hell

    Some people think I have a good life because I seem to get everything I want, which is not true. Ever since my step dad moved in I've gotten more and more depressed because of the emotional abuse. He has never physically abused me, but he always does emotionally. I have even...
    MyArmHurts MyArmHurts 18-21, F 4 Responses May 21, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Joy, joy! I am soooo happy today!

    Not. Life stinks. I hate depression soooooooooo freaking much.
    DrPepperFanatic97 DrPepperFanatic97 18-21, F 2 Responses Dec 28, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    feeling alone,i just want to cry.

    my skies are grey again i feel like crying,feels like everything around me is falling apart,the walls are slowly closing in it feels like i am suffocating. i'm slowly driving myself insane heading for a breakdown. no one sees it my mask hides it well. i just want an escape a...
    sixlives sixlives 22-25, F 1 Response Nov 17, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I sent him a message Two hours three hours A

    day. Maybe he's just busy, Maybe I'll just starve myself That'll fill the void right? A week Maybe I'll just pull out the lighter A little burn never hurt anyone A month My god he hasn't even read the message I'm not even in his thoughts A year The anxiety's gotten bad Baby...
    HalfVenti HalfVenti 13-15, F 1 day ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I've been dealing with this

    for over 10 years now, most of this time I have been in a dark hole. It went as far as me losing all hope and even forgetting who I am, who I used to be before my depression. Recently I have been able to see some light. It's not easy, and I have bad days but I have after 10...
    lily449 lily449 18-21, F Mar 6

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I'm just so sick of everything.

    I deleted all my written work, especially my novel, because I am so angry at everything. I can't think straight..
    Fortiplex Fortiplex 16-17, M Jul 23, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Hazel888 Hazel888 13-15, F 1 Response Oct 26, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Just when I thought I was getting my life on

    track again things have to go wrong again!
    jaz007 jaz007 22-25, M 1 Response Mar 13

    Your Response

    Cancel

    It's hard to remember

    when compare my life to others that I am comparing my "behind the scenes" to their "highlight reel"
    Bedmonster Bedmonster 70+, M Aug 10, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Wanna kill yourself? Imagine this.

    You come home from school one day. You've had yet another horrible day. You're just ready to give up. So you go to your room, close the door, & you take out that sucide note you've written & rewritten over & over & over. You take out those razor blades, & you cut yourslef for...
    Vickypearl Vickypearl 13-15, F 3 Responses Aug 4, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel
    lonelinessneverfades lonelinessneverfades 13-15, F 8 Responses Jun 30, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I am extremely depressed.

    I feel so bad. I just want to die or hurt myself really bad. No one likes to be around me. I'm a burden to my family. I feel like I have an anchor tied to my feet and I'm drowning. I just wanna curl up in bed and never ever wake again. But I have to act like I'm at least ok. I...
    yonnie97 yonnie97 16-17, F Nov 30, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    If I had one wish; I would wish

    for everyone to have a good life. To not have to worry about paying their next bill, or to go out or stay in, or to deal with any negatively from anyone including themselves. I'd wish for everyone to feel beautiful for who they are and I'd wish for everyone to see it and...
    torr62 torr62 13-15, F 1 Response Jan 1

    Your Response

    Cancel
    christinemn christinemn 18-21, F 1 Response Nov 22, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Juss Sayin.

    I've experienced several episodes of depression, but only one that I deem the absolute lowest, most miserable time in my life. I've never hated myself so much as I did then. I was just absolutely disgusted by myself, my family, the world, everyone I knew. I hated everything. I...
    fxckup fxckup 22-25, F 3 Responses Jul 6, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    My dream is to prove everyone wrong.

    My goal is for everyone's eyes to be wide open with their expressions on their faces full of surprise and their mouths wide open. I'll impress them all. My wish is for everything to be different. I'll have more respect, people wouldn't think less of me, I'll be proud of...
    torr62 torr62 13-15, F 1 Response Jan 4

    Your Response

    Cancel

    The best article I've read about depression yet!

    !! What I Wish People Knew about Depression By Therese J. Borchard Associate Editor robin-williamsSomeone recently asked me to write on what I wish people knew about depression, in light of Robin William’s suicide. Here’s my response. I wish people knew that depression...
    heavenlyskyflower heavenlyskyflower 31-35, F 2 Responses