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I Survived Sexless Marriage and Divorce

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 33 People

    I in a sexless divorce.

    I haven't dated since my divorce was finalized. Before actually.
    boadiccearose boadiccearose 51-55, F Mar 20

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    I Am Not Divorced Yet So

    I have known my husband for ten years. He comes from Sri Lanka and was raped by soildiers as a results the war. He has never told me this exactly, but I know enough to know why that he why doesn't want to have sex with me. I broke up with him twice, but we...
    elansdale elansdale 26-30, F 2 Responses Nov 1, 2009

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    And the Light At the End of the Tunnel Is Not An Oncoming Train ....

    So here I am, about 16 months since I last wrote. It's been a long hard haul. The only real constants in my life have been my family and my beloved INTP friend. I have changed jobs twice, moved home three times and, surprising for me, cried bitter tears. I've even broken the...
    Joyspring Joyspring 41-45, F 6 Responses Aug 26, 2009

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    Pointless Arguments

    Yes, the names have been changed to protect the innocent... Christopher was a high school romance. He was a dark, moody man who I saw as an insecure mess in need of unconditional love and support, and I knew I could change him, make him happy and secure. At the tender age of 18...
    bforpreader bforpreader 41-45, F 4 Responses Oct 30, 2009

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    Related Experiences

    What a lot of you don't know about me is that, in addition to a degree in journalism, I also have a degree in counseling. (I haven't used it - although I was a probation officer...
    SmartKat SmartKat 46-50, F 21 Responses 3 hrs ago

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    Slaying Dragons: A Sleepless Journey Into Oppositeland… Having spent over a year wandering in Oppositeland, the refuge for escapees from a sexless marriage, I am experiencing...
    SleeplessKnight SleeplessKnight 41-45, M 15 Responses Oct 11

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    There’s a number of reasons why people live in sexless marriages, every married couple’s situation is different; you could talk to fifteen different couples and hear fifteen...
    miryam57 miryam57 56-60, F 7 Responses 6 days ago

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    Update. I have been officially divorced since July 30th, 2014. We divorced amicably and are still friends. I moved out of state and currently live with my parents (during the...
    frustratedndc frustratedndc 36-40, F 6 Responses 2 days ago

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    Hi all, sexless marriage alumni here checking in with this amazing group of souls with an update. For 11 years I stayed in my sexless, loveless, affectionless, conversationless...
    Stalked9 Stalked9 41-45, F 17 Responses Sep 24

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    Update. Last time I posted I was overwhelmed at how many responses I had. Some understood my struggle and some completely didn't get it. Reading it now I was pretty upset writing...
    2Blossom 2Blossom 46-50, F 15 Responses Sep 27

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    Hi I am new to this forum but I have had the opportunity to read posts and study them. I feel less lonely now and realize that my experience is shared by many. I decided to post as...
    FantasticNJGuy FantasticNJGuy 41-45, M 12 Responses Oct 7

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    To my fellow suffers I have a question. Let me first say that I know I'm an idiot. I married my first wife when I was 26 y.o.a. and I had some red flags but I thought I could fix...
    Nick5211 Nick5211 51-55, M 4 Responses Oct 11

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    My wife's best friend is divorcing her husband, who is one of my good friends. She said things were bad for a while, and somehow it escalated past the point of therapy. They never...
    7Sparrows 7Sparrows 26-30, M 9 Responses Sep 27

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    Well I did it. I took everyones advice in ILIASM, and I consulted an attorney in the event that I may need to pull the parachute on my marriage. Thank you Bazaar for hammering this...
    Jane1024 Jane1024 36-40, F 6 Responses Oct 8

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    If you knew you were going to live another 20-30 or so years would you be willing to remain in a sexless marriage or would you divorce? According to this quiz, I will live...
    Mettamomma Mettamomma 61-65, F 16 Responses Oct 13

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    I'm new here and hope my post makes it to the right place. I've been with my H for 17 years. He's 10 years older than I am, I'm 55. from the beginning he had ED problems, but I...
    Sarita22 Sarita22 46-50, F 20 Responses Oct 14

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    Coercion. Years ago I read about husbands forcing their wives to perform a certain sex act (named at the end of this story for those curious) under the threat of divorce. It was...
    something2talkabout something2talkabout 51-55, M 16 Responses Sep 25

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    My husband is overweight, but is kind, considerate, even handsome. We have two kids together and have a wonderful family life. Since we've been married (4 years now), the sex...
    mzansigirl mzansigirl 36-40, F 23 Responses 2 days ago

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    Well, today is officially the last day I can say that I live in a Sexless Marriage. At 9am PST, my attorney will appear in front of a judge to have the divorce approved & signed...
    4hopefloats 4hopefloats 41-45, F 21 Responses Oct 1

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    I went to a marriage where there was the good times but in the last it was a sexless marriage it was them I was abandoned. Left alone. Battled depression. Got counseling was hoping...
    sunney55 sunney55 46-50, M 1 Response 4 days ago

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    Rediscovering Sex in a Sexless Marriage: Rediscovering sex - This is where things are at now. For those who are reading my story for the first time let me point out my marriage...
    Fireflyz26 Fireflyz26 31-35, F 13 Responses Oct 2

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    Let me preface this by saying I am NOT religious at all. With that said, I came across a brilliant post by a blogger I follow on choosing happiness no matter what your...
    Pattycakey Pattycakey 36-40, F 6 Responses Oct 2

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    http://betterafter50.com/2013/02/is-a-sexless-marriage-reason-to-divorce/ Food for thought
    Flotsam101 Flotsam101 41-45, F 3 Responses 5 days ago

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    I am 37 years old and have been in a relationship with my current bf for 13 years. We aren't legally married, but we have lived together for 12 years and we have one child together...
    lyssak lyssak 36-40, F 13 Responses 3 days ago

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    Why only women post they are in sexless marriage why not men post aswell?? Is it something like women are more victims in sexless marriage...!!
    Iamhere26 Iamhere26 26-30, M 3 Responses Oct 4

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    Its easy to justify ourselves for not leaving an unhappy marriage. "I dont want to leave the kids", "We are going to therapy", "I cant afford it", and "He said he would change" are...
    RobertCarlos RobertCarlos 46-50, M 13 Responses Oct 9

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    I MUST learn how to live celibate. It is difficult at best. This is something that I never expected out of life. I gave more than my share to my sexless marriage. We had been...
    HAR1978 HAR1978 46-50, F 17 Responses Oct 11

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    Undeniable Truths of the Sexless Marriage:The following is a short list of the postulates and theorems posited by the ILIASM gurus that I believe answer the queries folks post here...
    CreelUnion CreelUnion 46-50, M 5 Responses Oct 14

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    I’ve been reading sexless marriage posts for a while now (being in one myself). In a way the experience of reading these posts is like beginning to recognize it as a hydra - the...
    ace4444 ace4444 41-45, M 1 Response Sep 26

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    Just had a bunch on my mind and feel like rambling. So I want to share a little about my rehabilitated sexless marriage (see backstory for details) due to a few private emails...
    HusbandOfOne HusbandOfOne 41-45, M 9 Responses Oct 3

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    If you are in the should I stay or should I go mode, it will go on forever. The only way to get off the fence is if you leave or a major shift happens in your marriage. The shift...
    sartur sartur 36-40, F 4 Responses Oct 4

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    Rewiring Needed! I was wondering today how many people have gone from one poor relationship partner to the next? It seems to me that a lot of us in this group have been with an...
    Artvg Artvg 41-45, F 14 Responses 5 days ago

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    I have been married for 34 years. We stopped having sex around 5 years ago. I am the husband. My wife tells me she just isn't interested in sex anymore. She knows I am not the kind...
    Leo502K Leo502K 61-65, M 20 Responses Sep 27

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    Maybe I shouldn't complain but I would probably b in a sexless marriage if I never initiated the sex or intimacy with my wife. I always initiate, my wife never will and when I do...
    booyah73 booyah73 41-45, M 12 Responses Oct 4

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    hi, im indonesian (28yo) and i married with a japanese man (28yo) 2 months ago. we have been together 11 months then he finally marry me. but i already facing a sexless marriage. i...
    yn12986 yn12986 26-30, F 1 Response Oct 7

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    One can be in a marriage and have sex anytime and anywhere, and still be in a sexless marriage. It's called "unfulfilling". That is my my life.
    andi0507 andi0507 56-60 8 Responses Oct 10

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    I've been in a long term sexless marriage (decades). I was sexually insecure at the time of the marriage, and she was too, so it worked at the time for both of us. Over all those...
    Figureitoutguy Figureitoutguy 51-55, M 9 Responses Oct 12

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    I have a general question. My wife and I have sex once a month. It's usually a quicky and it seems to be just to keep me happy. It's not enough for me. When is it a sexless...
    Cha1ngang Cha1ngang 41-45, M 11 Responses Oct 13

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    I am in a sexless marriage and have been for years. I don’t mean a sex reduced marriage I mean non-existent. It is because she has medical issues and I won’t go into that. I...
    lasergraph lasergraph 61-65, M 6 Responses Oct 14

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    I can honestly say the worst part about a sexless marriage is the refusers attitude toward you in general. With the women who are refused, im seeing a common thread, with some...
    sartur sartur 36-40, F 8 Responses Oct 14

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    It is what it is. By the end of my first marriage, I wasnt having sex with my wife. Not because I didnt want to, I just couldnt. I was not attracted to her anymore. I dont mean...
    RobertCarlos RobertCarlos 46-50, M 8 Responses 5 days ago

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    How many had red flags before they married vs how many are truly shocked they are in a sexless marriage? I had no red flags in the sex department, maybe some red flags because of...
    Iamhellonwheels Iamhellonwheels 41-45, F 16 Responses Sep 24

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    I would very much like to connect with women in St. Louis who, like me, are living in a Sexless Marriage that would like to get acquainted and see where things may lead.
    johnstlouis johnstlouis 56-60, M 1 Response Sep 27

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    This is the first time i have posted an experience after reading stories and chatting to others about our issues over a number of years Please excuse my way of writing this as its...
    john818 john818 46-50, M 4 Responses Oct 3

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    hi, im indonesian (28yo) and i married with a japanese man (28yo) 2 months ago. we have been together 11 months then he finally marry me. but i already facing a sexless marriage. i...
    yn12986 yn12986 26-30, F 8 Responses Oct 7

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    We are unhappy but are our spouses happy, they want want to be in a sexless marriage, so who is the unreasonable one?
    celtusa celtusa 46-50, M 10 Responses Oct 9

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