I Talk to Inanimate Objects

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 292 People

    Nothing Is Safe From My Temper

    ... not even the computer or remote! If an inatimate object does not listen to my commands, even they are not excused from having to listen to my notorious temper. I am usually a calm person, but I have my limits, as does everyone, I believe!
    snowlady snowlady
    36-40, F
    1 Response Dec 1, 2009

    I'm Sorry!

    I don't have long conversations with them but if I hit them or drop them or if I'm about to throw them away I'll apologise to them or say goodbye. It makes me feel guilty throwing them away because after all their good service to me I'm just going to throw them out. Saying...
    Elilaa Elilaa
    26-30, F
    2 Responses Jan 14, 2010

    I Do...

    I started to talk with my pc, when it slow of freeze. Its made me mad, so why i cant to tell it for machine?! After it I started to talk with old TV and audiosystem. its not a good... But soon, i found i even speak with refrigerator (when I gift for It new magnet-souvenirs...
    Bekther Bekther
    22-25, M
    4 Responses Jun 6, 2010

    haha I think it's just kinda in my head

    that maybe, just maybe one day they'll actually listen!! Like the internet, I'd be like come onnnn load, you can do this, loaaad like now!! And when I'm drawing id kinda just talk to myself to decide what would look better And when I stub my toe, I cuss at the inanimate object...
    afellowearthling afellowearthling
    18-21, F
    2 Responses Jan 15, 2014

    Pleading For Understanding

    As wacky as this sounds, when i have used all the eggs, potatoes or onions etc and there is a lone one remaining, i plead with it for understanding after apologising for leaving it alone. I have had all i wanted and anyway, it should be grateful that it didnt suffer the fate...
    alieninewyork alieninewyork
    Sep 5, 2008

    ....And They Listen!

    My phones like to get staticy when I talk, and I got into the habit of snapping "Stop it!" when the static started.  The funny thing is that the static usually quits when I tell it to!
    Geode Geode
    31-35, F
    Jul 7, 2009

    I've Just Had A Long Conversation With My New Bike...

    My new bike is a Raleigh Vixen and therefore she's called Vixen. I took her out for the first time today and I talked to her at length about my previous bikes: my very first (pink) bike, my old hand-made-in-Essex Raleigh whose frame cracked after I had an accident with it, and...
    DancingFox DancingFox
    31-35, F
    Apr 4, 2011

    Bob & Bobby Dorito

    I take karate, and in our class, we have two torsos of people that you're supposed to practice punching and such, and they had already named one of em Bob and the other Bobby, so i gave Bobby the last name Dorito.
    TheArcticWolf TheArcticWolf
    13-15, M
    Nov 27, 2009

    This Afternoon

    I was getting my box spring and mattress set up the stairs to my apartment, and my box spring was very cooperative.  My mattress, on the other hand, was a complete ******* about the situation.  It kept wanting to lay down and go EVERY way except the way I wanted it to...
    filthydieseltech filthydieseltech
    22-25, F
    3 Responses Nov 8, 2009


    I frequently have tense negotiations with the computers at my job, alternately pleading and threatening. The hard part is keeping it quiet enough that it doesn't disturb my co-workers.
    Nemo33 Nemo33
    31-35, M
    Dec 1, 2009

    They're One-way Conversations, So Far -- Every object I Talk to Is Excellent At Giving Me the Silent Treatment

    Most of the time it's my computer at work.  I just love when the server decides to go down.  This behavior isn't restricted to my 'work' station, however.  I'll talk to darn near anything these days:  the microwave, telephone (when no one else is speaking to...
    UnderEli UnderEli
    46-50, M
    2 Responses Jun 23, 2009

    I Talk to Inanimate objects.

    I have a habit of hitting them as well, when they don't obey. Then I apologize afterward.
    DysfunctionalMuse DysfunctionalMuse
    22-25, M
    Jul 31, 2009

    It All Started With My Bike...

    ... when I was about 8. It was a pink bike and I had decided its name was Valentine. I would talk to it and blame it when I couldn't make it to the top of a steep hill - not my fault, Valentine's being lazy! I tell off electric objects when they don't work, or pieces of...
    DancingFox DancingFox
    31-35, F
    2 Responses Aug 15, 2009

    My Computer..

    "Oh come on.. Please don't freeze, don't freeze.. You know I love you? A lot? You're amazing and awesome and please don't freeze. I swear I will switch you to Vista! ...Thank you."
    deleted deleted
    6 Responses Jul 29, 2009

    I work at a grocery store

    and I told apples to stop rolling around so I could ring it in properly and my bagger made fun of me...
    LittleRed2016 LittleRed2016
    18-21, F
    Aug 4, 2015

    I Bet Im Crazy

    i genuinly feel guilty for not playing with my stuffed animals (i`m 18). They sit up on their shelves and stare at me with eyes that say we miss you, and then i reply to those sad eyes saying ``im sorry you guys maybe we can play together soon``. i hardly even go in my room...
    ribbonsofglass ribbonsofglass
    18-21, F
    2 Responses Feb 22, 2011

    My Lamp And I

    I have a relationship with my beloved lamp.We have been happily together for 43 years and have never looked back.People judge me but they don't know I've never had better sex with anyone else because what we feel is real and strong. Although others may not be able to hear our...
    sharry101 sharry101
    2 Responses Jun 1, 2013

    Hello There Computer

    does this count as me talking to an object. i feel like i end up talking to my computer for many many hours per day.
    EPCole EPCole
    26-30, M
    1 Response Jul 17, 2012

    It Is Truly Pathetic

       It is quite pathetic. Usually happens when I am home alone, I accidentally run into something and I glare at the object or say "You little bastard". (mind you I usually run into walls or doors) If I need to find the remote I usually try and call it like a...
    LonelyThinker LonelyThinker
    18-21, F
    2 Responses Jul 29, 2009

    Do. Not. Synchronize.

    FFS, Philips MP3 player. I am only CHARGING you, OK? And then, WHEN I AM READY, I will upload more songs. I'll do it MY WAY. DO NOT START TO SYNCHRONIZE without even asking me if it's OK first. Because if you do, you'll end up messing up my folders. I have created them FOR A...
    DancingFox DancingFox
    31-35, F
    Apr 8, 2011

    All Apologies

    I often say 'sorry' to things that I feel I've somehow wronged, such as by knocking them, dropping something, always when breaking something of more than middling importance. I don't really have a problem with any of this.
    instinct12 instinct12
    26-30, M
    Aug 19, 2010

    Bear Bear

    Bear Bear is my stuffed animal bear. Considering how old I am, I think I should be sleeping without a night light or a stuffed animal  but I just can't help it. I've grwon so used to having both., but anyways, that's different. Well, Bear Bear is my lover...he's there for me...
    stripesANDsunshine stripesANDsunshine
    18-21, F
    8 Responses Jul 10, 2009

    An Adorable Dryer!

    Hello! I do not usually use dryers for my family hangs the clothes up to dry in our little garden. I was living in the Indiana University hostel a couple of weeks ago and was doing the laundry. When I used the dryer, I told the dryer that it was a really smart machine and it...
    faterch faterch
    Jun 22, 2013

    Test #3

    So... they want me to try again. That the problem is the group and not faerie's profile.hmmm...We shall see...*crosses faerie fingers and toes*
    Sylphy Sylphy
    41-45, F
    4 Responses Jul 17, 2012

    The Only Times I Ever Swear

    I swear at doors that hit me, wires that have electrons in them (and bite me) and anything that bumps my head
    burstin2go burstin2go
    51-55, M
    Jul 14, 2009


    The only object I have spoke to is my pc.  When it doesn't work properly or freezes.
    Whateverrrrr Whateverrrrr
    36-40, F
    Sep 18, 2011


    I thought I bumped into someone in the computer lab and apologized.  Turned around, and I was talking to an empty chair!
    Plaid Plaid
    31-35, F
    Nov 4, 2011

    Sociological Research

    Hello Please spread this information amongst all OS friends you know:) My name is Gregory Kubinski, I'm a PhD in sociology and I'm writing a book about contemporary intimacy. But the subject I'm really interested in, is not the relationship between people, but between people...
    gkubinski gkubinski
    41-45, M
    Jun 17, 2013

    I talk a lot to my made up lover

    that i drawn in different expressions even gave him a name and in love with him.
    deleted deleted
    Sep 1, 2014

    objectum Sexuality

    I am an objectum sexual so I talk to objects all the time. My first favorite object is my keyboard piano I have had it for a year now. (I like to make up songs with it.) My second favorite object is my white board I got from walmart I bought a while back. My 3rd object...
    22-25, M
    Jun 11, 2010


    I mostly yell or argue with the television, though it's really to the people/voices in the idiotic commercials I see, its still towards the tv same basic thing on the computer, I see an ignorant comment someone made and I talk to the computer disproving their statement...or get...
    Bukoden Bukoden
    18-21, M
    4 Responses Jul 23, 2009

    Not To Alot Though So I'm Not That Crazy! Right???

    Lets see I only talk to..... pencils pens my tv my computer my computer screen my bed my home my car my ipod my clothes my remote control my movies the weather doors steps/stairs my school the sky the clouds the ground trees ummm....ignore the title then....
    Serabi Serabi
    18-21, F
    6 Responses Jan 21, 2011

    My glasses fell off my nose onto the kitchen

    floor. Me: "Please do not be broken." They weren't. Me: "Thank you." And I kind of dis that automatically, and caught myself doing it, and thought it was funny. :)
    JoannaBe JoannaBe
    41-45, F
    2 Responses Jun 8, 2014

    I Yell

    At my alarm clock every morning to shut up.
    siggy10 siggy10
    31-35, M
    1 Response Nov 8, 2009
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