I Things Not to Say During Sex

"What time is it?" (in the middle of sex)
giving him directions by saying, "my ex did this and it felt really good."
"Are you all the way in?"
"Here use this instead", as you hand him a vibrator or dildo that is twice his size.
That's...

I had one guy ask me, right when we were really, really, hot and heavy and the Big O was coming straight at me....
 "Wow.. like, think how weird it would be if your father walked in on us right now..."
Dude...

Is it IN yet ?.......

"Blue I think I will paint the ceiling blue"
"Honey did you lock the back door"
"What's your name again"
"I want a baby"
 

On second thought, let's turn out the lights.

Is this your first time? -- Yes, this afternoon!

And to think- I was really trying to pick up your friend!

What tampon?

Don't worry, my dog's really friendly for a Doberman.

it was on a company covention that i met marie, we enjoyed each others company had a few drinks , spoke of our respective marriages, danced the night away. it was a beautiful moonlit night 100 yards from the beach, god i hadnt felt so...

After approximately five minutes:
Him: 'You're making me cum'
Me: 'Don't stop it feels soooo good'
Him: 'But you feel so warm and juicy I just want to explode'
Me: 'And you feel so hard, carry on fucking me, please!'
Him: 'one, two...

Wow you're fast.....

I hope you don't expect a raise for this.............

Stop moaning you sound silly..........

Its OK, I can just imagine that it's bigger......

Get off me, I'll do it myself! ...

It's only a cold sore, trust me...

Done yet? I'm getting sore.
Hurry; sportscenter is about to come on.
Don't even joke about that.
Why would you ever want to try that? That's sick.
I don't have any fantasies.
I'm not saying I don't get horny. I'm just saying I don't...

Here are a few things one should NEVER say during sex... or any other time for all that matters ::giggle::
• Shit, hold on, my wooden leg needs to be greased
• Sorry, I was eating Mexican earlier
• Sorry about the smell
• That...

Alright guys i thought this might be silly and fun. How many things can you think of not to say during sex?  On second thought let's turn out the lights

it was on a company covention that i met marie, we enjoyed each others company had a few drinks , spoke of our respective marriages, danced the night away. it was a beautiful moonlit night 100 yards from the beach, god i hadnt felt so...

For the record, I have never had any on the list said to me...but was in a silly mood and felt like compiling a list.

Don't you go to the gym?

Remind me to call my wife later.

Maybe we shouldn't have eaten dinner first...

1. Okay, let's just get this over with.
2. Have you gained weight?
3. I have to take this phone call.
4. Tell me that you want me to stab you.
5. Ask me to burn you.
6. Can the dog join in?
7. Is it in yet?
8. My ex used to do it this...