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I Think About Suicide

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 1,524 People

    I can't kill myself because I don't want to

    ruin my little brother's life. But I can't live like this anymore. Everyday is a living hell to me, and I constantly wish for death from natural causes of some sort. The only thing I look forward to everyday of my life is sleeping at night- where I am out of this ****** world...
    crypticcrime crypticcrime 18-21, F 4 Responses May 16

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    i know it's not the answer.

    Death seems peaceful.i can not hurt my family,this is why i stay.I have lost so much,my house ,all my income,my mom is very ill.I was diagnosed mentally ill,along with my 3 children.Now i have no clue how i will pay decembers rent ,this is only a couple things,so much more...
    1prettygirl 1prettygirl 36-40, F 12 Responses Nov 9, 2014

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    when it rains it pours.

    ...I'm so upset....
    brknsilence79 brknsilence79 31-35, F 6 days ago

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    From Someone Who's Been There...

       For all of you thinking about suicide, let me tell you about something from someone who’s been there. I contemplated suicide in my teens. Gawky and loserish, I had zero friends and no prospects for a fun high school life whatsoever. My mom used to get drunk and...
    readnwritewithwine readnwritewithwine 31-35, M 4 Responses Nov 7, 2007

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    it doesnt take much anymore

    for me to feel suicidal, I used to be able to snap out of it but it's been getting harder and harder to do so. im scared nothing will now, im scared im gunna lose that last ounce of.fight I had from my last attempt and that was luck that I survived it... I guess im trying to...
    willazrael willazrael 18-21, M 2 Responses Jun 13

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    why is it that I find out more stuff about me

    and I just want to end it? It's like I'm the one always wrong. I'm just done with everything. and I find this out during therapy and I didn't say anything. just me being silent as always...
    brknsilence79 brknsilence79 31-35, F 1 Response 1 day ago

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    i almost was admitted today due the the

    suicidal thoughts and urges I have been having. i just need to speak up the next time I have them. my husband is home and making sure I'm okay. I'm so exhausted.
    brknsilence79 brknsilence79 31-35, F 1 Response Jun 22

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    About Facing Your Demons

    From 16 to 18 I'd had many suicide atempts; the most serious one was when I took 37 sleeping pils and slpet for 3 days and the time I've thrown myself in the river.I changed alot since then, I am 21 now and see things in a whole new light.The diference is that my old demons never...
    ruedecascades ruedecascades 18-21, M 5 Responses Oct 20, 2008

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    i feel like theres nothing left

    for me in life . i got clean of a 10 yr heroin addiction, but still am a0 worthless stupid junkie no matter what i do. someone i love dearly calls me that,but its true tho : (? all ive ever wanted was a loving and caring family or at least 1 best friend that would be there for...
    foxyoxy123 foxyoxy123 26-30, F 2 Responses Apr 6

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    For years, many many years I have thought about

    suicide nearly everyday. I don't remember a day I haven't thought about it. When I was younger I would look at a length of rope or I'd find a rattler or a moccasin in the woods and think, "This could end it pretty soon." I always had a knife that I kept sharp. I would just hold...
    LifeIsBeatingMe LifeIsBeatingMe 26-30, M 5 Responses Feb 14

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    taking in others pain Don't know the difference

    between mine and there's anymore. constantly everywhere
    mundinger1992 mundinger1992 22-25, M 2 Responses 3 days ago

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    To Shake Off The Mortal Coils

     Last entry into a diary - authorship unknown. "A permanent solution to a temporary problem" - that is what the wise and good people state to help. The way they make suicide look like a decision based on cowardice is remarkable, when in the end it is a clear statement...
    frostbittensoul frostbittensoul 41-45, M Mar 25, 2010

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    There is so much hurt in me I don't know how

    much longer I can hold this in. I've already been abandoned by friends one by one and been lied to. May just use a knife and bleed
    Thelonelyasian Thelonelyasian 22-25, M 1 Response 3 days ago

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    If suicide is for losers,

    then count me as one. I'm so tired and hurt. Things got worst for me and I feel so tired. I hate myself, I hate the person I'm. I miss home. Sitting on the bathroom floor, listening to them giggling, they have no idea how I'm feeling. Like they care.. No one does. And I'm all...
    Extrano Extrano 18-21, F 4 Responses 6 days ago

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    xXsailorXx xXsailorXx 18-21, F 3 Responses 6 days ago

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    I Think About Suicide

    But I wouldn't consider myself suicidal. Lately I get these really vivid thoughts of me sticking a 12 gauge in my mouth.  It's starting to freak me out.
    deleted deleted 26-30 10 Responses Dec 13, 2007

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    I Feel Bad*

    I feel really bad for thinking about suicide, I know how selfish it is, I know how much damage it can do to the ones left behind, I know the pain, and the guilt, and the questions, the victim of a suicide feelings. Its terrible, but yet, tonight, I can't help but feel this way...
    xSilentlySufferingx xSilentlySufferingx 18-21, F 3 Responses Jun 1, 2010

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    I just wanna die I hope I die in my sleep

    tonight and not wake up in the morning
    kev1254 kev1254 26-30, M 4 Responses Jun 14

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    Go Away

    I don't want to ponder you any more. Leave.
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Apr 2, 2008

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    I don't know whats wrong with me.

    Sometimes I can't even get out of the bed. I try to look at the bright side of things but its hard an I can't.
    arestlesssoul arestlesssoul 22-25, F 1 Response Jan 7

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    So I don't know what I want to do.

    I dont want to kill myself but I dont want to be around. I feel like everything I do causes a problem for those around me, I feel like I am a terrible burden, I have absolutely no self worth, I have no drive to do anything. I know killing myself isn't the answer and besides I...
    SumireLythrum SumireLythrum 22-25, F 1 Response Dec 18, 2014

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    My parents are taking their "princess" to visit

    our relatives. They miss her soooooo much.. Bla bla bla.. I think about doing it tonight. I'm so hurt and I just can't do this anymore. I don't know.. I wish I never existed, I wish these feeling go, but....
    Extrano Extrano 18-21, F 1 Response 3 days ago

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    it's good to know there's other people

    that knows how it feels to not wanna be alive anymore has anyone ever tired the suicide prevention hotline like the 1-800 number ? I honestly don't even wanna talk to any one about it sometimes cause I feel like they won't understand or laugh about it. or say I'm just doing it...
    lovermaker21 lovermaker21 18-21, F 1 Response Feb 9

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    Yes, I think about it.

    I'm thinking about it right now. I can almost feel the steel against my skin. The blood flowing out of my veins. I can see it happening. And no one will know until dinner the next day.
    Mordacai Mordacai 18-21, M 2 Responses Mar 12

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    still thinking about things

    and just wanting to disappear. just wish life wasn't so complicated. i wish I was perfect. I'm hating myself so much. my thoughts aren't well right now. sorry...
    brknsilence79 brknsilence79 31-35, F 1 Response 4 days ago

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    Tired

    I get very frustrated with my inability to change and being bogged down in depression.  I certainly consider the possibility of ending my life.  If I can't change and I'm miserable where I am why not just shut it all down.  It's all a futile effort so why even try...
    ReformedAutomaton ReformedAutomaton 36-40, M 27 Responses Jun 11, 2007

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    deleted deleted 26-30 8 Responses May 13

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    On Saturday I spent the day with a girl

    who actually likes me, a girl who actually made me feel happy for the first time in years... Saturday night was also the closest I've ever been to killing myself, I didn't understand at the time but I think now that it was because I've finally seen what I was missing and now I...
    trashleigh trashleigh 18-21, M 2 days ago

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    Everyday I want to die!

    Everyday I want to just end everything! I always try to do right, I always put my family, friends&loved ones
    xocmaxo xocmaxo 22-25 1 Response Jun 16

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    Why... Why Not...

    I've had this hurt in the stomach for so long. No one should live with that daily. I sleep very bad, and I think it doesn't make my jugdement clearer, far from it. But i have to functionate like if nothing was wrong. that's what our society is. A friend here posted...
    deleted deleted 26-30 Mar 3, 2009

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    I've been thinking about committing suicide a

    lot lately, and was reading a lot of your stories. I just want to tell you all that you matter, that it is always better to keep on going. I know I don't know all of your struggles, but I am going through it to and just want you to know that I am here for you, even if I don't...
    Cyhyreath Cyhyreath 22-25, F 2 Responses 2 days ago

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    Its not so much that I think about suicide

    rather just wanting out of this endless tirade that is called life. In a very general sense life is stupid, you are born just to die and all this crap in between, they call it life. I just wonder what is it all for. I mean if I were working towards something other than death...
    mljenkins mljenkins 41-45, F 3 Responses May 1

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    I had a great day today.

    But the neglect at home is so bad, it makes me feel invisible and worthless. A divorce would be nice but I can't even imagine co-parenting together. It's times like this where I wish I weren't living.
    cleartext cleartext 41-45, M 1 Response Jun 16

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    I am spiritually exhausted.

    I have struggled with Depression since I was 13. Thirty years later, despite many achievements and successes in my professional life, I continue to struggle. Multiple drug regimens, multiple therapy approaches. None are a match for this adversary. I no longer have the will or...
    time2gocdad time2gocdad 41-45, M 15 hrs ago

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    I feel so hated by everyone at home

    and at work. They've finay realized after a few years that i am extremely unhappy for along time. They say stupid things like "its just a thing / life isnt always happy. I know it isnt always happy, but i never get that Little Bit im expect. Now they look down on me, treat me...
    Zack607 Zack607 22-25, M 3 Responses May 11

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    Words that should have come by ep somehow but wanted to share...

     This is similar to something i read -i changed it a bit to share it... i wanted ep to do it but i share it .. Don't encourage other members to harm themselves We are here to talk and share feelings and thoughts. Endorsements of suicide are counterproductive. It can...
    amysangels amysangels 22-25, F 2 Responses May 16, 2010

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    sali19 sali19 18-21, F 2 Responses 3 days ago

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    I Feel Guilty For My Feelings Sometimes..

    i know i ll never try again but when i have thoughts and then someone sais ''u r important'' ,''is because i care for  u''or sais something i feel guilty ..because many times i know im not important ,maybe for me ,coz i dont like myself,coz i have many thoughts...
    amysangels amysangels 22-25, F 18 Responses May 7, 2010

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    Im going to miss my kids.

    I hope they forgive me.
    cleartext cleartext 41-45, M 5 Responses Jun 22

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    I just want it to stop.

    Make it stop.
    BrokenBabygirlx BrokenBabygirlx 18-21, F 1 Response 5 days ago

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    I'm a Failure and I Want to Commit Suicide

    Every time I get into my car I wish to get into an accident and die.  I am 19 years old and am a virgin.  I will never get laid or have a girlfriend because I am an incompetant **** who can't do anything right.  I've only had one girlfriend in my life and that was...
    Alejandro Alejandro 18-21, M 414 Responses Dec 28, 2007

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    Everyday I want to die!

    Everyday I want to just end everything! I always try to do right, I always put my family, friends&loved ones
    xocmaxo xocmaxo 22-25 Jun 16

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    After being free from ideation

    for 9 months, I've been thinking about suicide again. I wish I could be free of this.
    cleartext cleartext 41-45, M Jun 14

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    After my actual attempt

    and failure at doing so, I do not think about it nearly as often as I once had. I also think to myself in the back of my mind that perhaps suicide isn't really what I wanted to do, it was just the only way that my mind could see past the pain that was harboring in my soul...
    LadyGallivanter LadyGallivanter 41-45, F 4 Responses 3 days ago

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    I want to help others going through what I am

    going through. I have been struggling with mental illness and suicidal thoughts for years. I have social anxiety, so even going to therapy is stressful to me. I found a lot of ways to help me cope with my feelings of hopelessness and worthlessness that are completely free, and...
    Cyhyreath Cyhyreath 22-25, F 23 hrs ago

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    I'm so depressed lately

    that when I'm upset I don't even cry anymore
    Lonelygirl517 Lonelygirl517 18-21, F 1 day ago

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