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I Think About Suicide

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 1,109 People

    I have struggled with depression

    for upwards of 5 years now. It comes and goes, sometimes I can go for weeks without feeling especially down, but once it starts again, it doesn't go away for months on end. Each day seems to get progressively worse, and it becomes harder and harder to pull myself out of bed in...
    meandthemoon13 meandthemoon13 18-21, F 2 Responses Nov 23

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    A Poem For the Dying....

      AS THE TIME NEARS    The time is near to say goodbye to the pain and fears. And this cold lonely place filled with heartache and tears.     I write the note and place it on the door. Notifying all they won’t find me here anymore.  ...
    fungirlmmm fungirlmmm 41-45, F 14 Responses Aug 8, 2008

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    Last night, I prayed

    that I wouldn't wake up this morning. But I am here. I wish I felt happier about that.
    thevioletblue thevioletblue 22-25, F 3 Responses Dec 2

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    yes I've gone through a **** load of ****.

    yes loved ones have died. yes I've been abused manipulated used. but that's not an excuse to not try. work on yourself and get over some bullshit. do things even though you don't want to you might grow a taste for it. just never give up and get over yourself.
    MooreVandervale MooreVandervale 18-21, M Dec 10

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    I Just Don't Know.

    Well, I don't know were to start.I don't have a bad life, I don't think I'm ugly, I know I'm not stupid, I have a mother and two sisters who love me very much.My dad walked out when I was 14 but this stuff happens, I have never thought of it ever since.I've never really had...
    n3gr0fi3r n3gr0fi3r 18-21, M 4 Responses Jan 30, 2011

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    There Is A Point, I Was Wrong

    Did you ever crash with the speed of light? Did you ever feel, all came tumbling down, on top of you? I did, yesterday. And I almost did something stupid. There is this spoof Airport movie, Airplane!, with Lloyd Bridges. In it, there is this running gag, that Bridges' character...
    Idonwannadie Idonwannadie 46-50, M Oct 9, 2012

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    Lately I've been thinking suicidal thoughts

    but don't try to attempt it is there something wrong with me?
    SuicideMascara SuicideMascara 18-21, F 2 Responses Nov 18

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    been thinking about taking my life

    for a little while. trying to think of anyone it would inconvenience and the fact I have to think for a good few hours, says it all. I have a hard time opening up to people and it cost me everything I didn't realise until it was to late meant the world to me. I've felt this way...
    soonthepainwillgo soonthepainwillgo 22-25, M 2 Responses Dec 2

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    I Feel Bad*

    I feel really bad for thinking about suicide, I know how selfish it is, I know how much damage it can do to the ones left behind, I know the pain, and the guilt, and the questions, the victim of a suicide feelings. Its terrible, but yet, tonight, I can't help but feel this way...
    xSilentlySufferingx xSilentlySufferingx 18-21, F 3 Responses Jun 1, 2010

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    these days so many things happened to me

    and made my stupid life worse , my dad is going to talk to me tonight and i know he will yell at me and say i did things that i didn't and make me feel like **** , he always do that but idc anymore ,if we get to a point so okay but if we don't i don't have any other reason to...
    imscum imscum 18-21, F 4 days ago

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    twelves twelves 22-25 Dec 11

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    so 10 more days till suicide.

    i've written some stuff for all those i've i'm gonna leave behind. my heart feels heavy thinking bout my pets. but hell or heaven where i'm going those places sounds better then being where i am. i
    iSuicidal iSuicidal 26-30, M 6 days ago

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    Loss And Pain

      Eight years ago I had to take a medical retirement from teaching. I loved teaching so it was a great loss.  The Global Neurological Damage has caused pain that only gets worse and worse.    I am usually at home because it hurts too much to go out. Ha! I...
    Dewduster Dewduster 66-70, M 3 Responses Dec 7, 2009

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    Bipolar Freak

    dduuhhh!! Have tried on more than one occasion but never completed the task. Scared I guess, young perhaps, but I think if/when I get to that point again that I won't be afraid anymore. I've come to grips with it and promised myself that if I do hit THAT low, that place of no...
    mysplitpersonality mysplitpersonality 36-40, F 12 Responses Sep 22, 2007

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    Yea..

    It's wrong yea, but it's eternal relief... nothing really else to say..
    PiecingMeBackTogether PiecingMeBackTogether 18-21 3 Responses Oct 12, 2013

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    The Compassion Of A Complete But Caring Stranger (there Is Hope!)

    The video below is of a suicide attempt on a bridge in in Shenzhen City, Guangdong Province, China.  A 16 year-old boy holding a knife is threatening to kill himself as emergency workers attempt to talk him out of hurting himself. As emergency workers are working to resolve the...
    social02 social02 26-30, M 2 Responses Jun 16, 2012

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    I've never thought about killing myself

    as much as I do now. I feel like there's no way to get around the fact that not a person around me believe anything positive about me. I don't understand why it's okay to tell me everything that I do wrong and every wrong thing about my character... I feel beat down I feel...
    wtftodo51 wtftodo51 26-30, F 2 Responses Nov 8

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    It's The Confusion Of It All

    I have been thinking about suicide of a while now. I lie in bed listening to songs like "mad world" and "fade to black" and think about the beauty of death, the beauty of my death. I see now that that was just a coping mechanism, it helped thinking about an alternative ...
    astrix37 astrix37 18-21, M 1 Response Apr 13, 2010

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    Life...

    this whole year has just been horrible since school started. i've lost so many of my good friends. i never really felt like i belonged here. i know i don't. i am so self concious about everything, i compare myself to people way to much and it makes me miserable. i try to stop but...
    sweetxheartxo sweetxheartxo 16-18, F 4 Responses Jan 13, 2008

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    I really don't know anymore what to do.

    I am going trough ****** up **** for like three years. I just don't think I'm going to be able to live through it. Even my friends abandoned me for making a single mistake. And now every single day of my life I am being bullied and I can't do **** about it. I cry in my sleep...
    suicidegirl123 suicidegirl123 18-21, F 2 Responses Dec 11

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    I Think About Suicide

    But I wouldn't consider myself suicidal. Lately I get these really vivid thoughts of me sticking a 12 gauge in my mouth.  It's starting to freak me out.
    deleted deleted 26-30 10 Responses Dec 13, 2007

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    I Can't Get Away From It.

    I was 9 when I first found out what suicide is.  My mom slit her wrists but she didn't go deep enough and just wound up in a mental hospital.  I hated her because I thought she didn't care about me anymore.  I didn't understand the depth of the matter. Around...
    CandyTeeth CandyTeeth 26-30, F 1 Response Jul 25, 2007

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    I Feel Guilty For My Feelings Sometimes..

    i know i ll never try again but when i have thoughts and then someone sais ''u r important'' ,''is because i care for  u''or sais something i feel guilty ..because many times i know im not important ,maybe for me ,coz i dont like myself,coz i have many thoughts...
    amysangels amysangels 22-25, F 19 Responses May 7, 2010

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    From Someone Who's Been There...

       For all of you thinking about suicide, let me tell you about something from someone who’s been there. I contemplated suicide in my teens. Gawky and loserish, I had zero friends and no prospects for a fun high school life whatsoever. My mom used to get drunk and...
    readnwritewithwine readnwritewithwine 31-35, M 4 Responses Nov 7, 2007

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    jman6609 jman6609 31-35, M 1 Response Dec 4

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    So I don't know what I want to do.

    I dont want to kill myself but I dont want to be around. I feel like everything I do causes a problem for those around me, I feel like I am a terrible burden, I have absolutely no self worth, I have no drive to do anything. I know killing myself isn't the answer and besides I...
    SumireLythrum SumireLythrum 22-25, F 1 Response 2 days ago

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    Thanksgiving today was terrible!

    I saw so much pain in the faces of my family. my sister's kids cried for 30 minutes because she had to go back to her third job. my mom is so tired from trying to fix everything for everyone. I see so much pain around me. it makes the pain inside me grow. I am so tired and there...
    beautybehindthefat beautybehindthefat 18-21, F 3 Responses Nov 27

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    The thought has crossed my mind before

    but i feel i would never do it just because it would be too much of a hassle for my family. But if i really could do it with all my loose ends tied, i would. times like this when i feel down , is when i wouldnt mind doing it.
    lonelysoul1088 lonelysoul1088 26-30, M 2 Responses Nov 19

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    From a Friend....

    Hey you- tell me what has got you down. There’s no need to cry or wear that frown.   You dont have to commit suicide Because I will be by your side. I’ve been there and I understand you Lean on me and I’ll carry you through. I’m not going...
    fungirlmmm fungirlmmm 41-45, F 11 Responses Aug 8, 2008

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    I just wanna blow my brains out.

    There are memories that just keep taunting me and I feel like a worthless burden and everyone would be better off if I was gone.
    Tinchi Tinchi 22-25 Dec 12

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    lately I consider leaving more often

    than not. I've had a miserable year, I hate the way I look, I hate that I have no one who shares my passion in anything. I hate that I'm so negative and that I try to change but my efforts go unnoticed, instead I'm annoying people close to me for even existing. I'm too afraid I...
    krazylilmeow krazylilmeow 22-25, F 3 Responses Nov 16

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    I am going to do it, I don't see the point

    anymore since I put my trust in my friends and they killed my trust. I should of known they would never believe me and now they left me. I tried, this means my life, and they abandon me... so what's the point if I fail. This meant my life and I know its going to end bad. I give...
    Unknown1047 Unknown1047 18-21, M 3 Responses Nov 21

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    Words that should have come by ep somehow but wanted to share...

     This is similar to something i read -i changed it a bit to share it... i wanted ep to do it but i share it .. Don't encourage other members to harm themselves We are here to talk and share feelings and thoughts. Endorsements of suicide are counterproductive. It can...
    amysangels amysangels 22-25, F 2 Responses May 16, 2010

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    Sadly, I Do.

    I have tried to commit suicide three times before, and came quiet close twice but It never happened. I still think about it often because I am not satisfied with my life at all. But In reality, I'm not actually sure If want to die or If I just want to end my unhappiness. For now...
    KawaiiDoll KawaiiDoll 18-21, F 2 Responses Mar 12, 2011

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    i feel something is wrong with me.

    .. this dreams and the fear go out or meat ppl ....... if someone want talk with me i will be thankfull
    jassikitty jassikitty 18-21, F 1 Response Nov 19

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    I'm a Failure and I Want to Commit Suicide

    Every time I get into my car I wish to get into an accident and die.  I am 19 years old and am a virgin.  I will never get laid or have a girlfriend because I am an incompetant **** who can't do anything right.  I've only had one girlfriend in my life and that was...
    Alejandro Alejandro 19-21, M 406 Responses Dec 28, 2007

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    Thanksgiving today was terrible!

    I saw so much pain in the faces of my family. my sister's kids cried for 30 minutes because she had to go back to her third job. my mom is so tired from trying to fix everything for everyone. I see so much pain around me. it makes the pain inside me grow. I am so tired and there...
    beautybehindthefat beautybehindthefat 18-21, F Nov 27

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    Tired

    I get very frustrated with my inability to change and being bogged down in depression.  I certainly consider the possibility of ending my life.  If I can't change and I'm miserable where I am why not just shut it all down.  It's all a futile effort so why even try...
    ReformedAutomaton ReformedAutomaton 36-40, M 27 Responses Jun 11, 2007

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    I Hate My Life

    I have ever since I was 12 and my life was ruined by my step-father. For a couple of years now I've been wanting to kill myself, even more so now that I can't go to college or get a job. It wouldn't be hard either. My mom has some painkillers that I could take. I can just fall...
    Chiazu Chiazu 18-21, F 3 Responses Dec 2, 2009

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    The two main deterrents still holding me back

    from buying that CZ82 are (1) my little sister, and to some extent (2) the people who look up to me. The people who look up to me - or who I was, to be precise - see me as a role model, a vivacious spirit always finding ways to have a good time no matter how tough things get...
    FryyM FryyM 22-25, M 2 Responses 4 days ago

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    About Facing Your Demons

    From 16 to 18 I'd had many suicide atempts; the most serious one was when I took 37 sleeping pils and slpet for 3 days and the time I've thrown myself in the river.I changed alot since then, I am 21 now and see things in a whole new light.The diference is that my old demons never...
    ruedecascades ruedecascades 18-21, M 5 Responses Oct 20, 2008

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    maryamtssn24 maryamtssn24 18-21, F 2 Responses Dec 3

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    Lampshade86 Lampshade86 26-30, F 1 Response a week ago

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    I can't help it. I'm never good enough

    for the people around me and I'm just so tired of everything. The only reason I haven't killed myself yet is because I'm to scared of what might happen.
    lmaddsl lmaddsl 18-21, F 2 Responses Nov 23

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    I Hope This Helps Someone In This Group...

    Thinking about suicide is a human thought, pondered over more than we would like to think about for some people..but there is always hope.  After my accident [you can go to my stories to read the details of it], I thought many times about ending my life...what was I going...
    UnperfectAngel UnperfectAngel 26-30, F 1 Response Oct 7, 2008

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    I think about suicide a lot.

    I'm scared one day I might act on it
    lawrence23 lawrence23 26-30, M 1 Response 5 days ago

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    Let's face it, I don't have any real friend

    and I dont see a purpose in my life. I am always surrounded by annoying as duck people that always have the good life. I was put on this earth in prepared and with flaws that made it seem impossible that I survived. I always try to make it like the last thing I am doing and yet...
    Unknown1047 Unknown1047 18-21, M 2 Responses Nov 15

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    Tru3nigmax Tru3nigmax 18-21, M 1 Response Dec 10

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    I think about it pretty much daily.

    Like I think most teens do, except meow I'm 21. Although I never talk about it with Anyone in person or online. The first time I wanted to talk about it online, a few days later the opp emailed me and then found the hotel I was at the time and forcibly came into my room and...
    JessicaCD20 JessicaCD20 18-21, M 1 Response Nov 14

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    I think about it all the time.

    I am conflicted. I really want to do it, but I am afraid to.
    SecretGaygent SecretGaygent 22-25, F 3 Responses 5 days ago

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    I'm thinking it right now.

    I feel as if nothing is good anymore. That I should just curl up and die. It's not like anyone would miss me.
    dracobane dracobane 18-21, M 3 Responses Nov 15

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