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I Think About Suicide

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 1,360 People

    how often do you guys think of ending your life.

    ? how heavy does it feel to walk upon this earth.? i'm in depression and everything just feels downhill for me. whenever i am alone i think about all that i'm going thru the lies the betrayal. i just feel so broken. its hard to hold on to anything now.
    iRoselyna iRoselyna 26-30, M 3 Responses Apr 6

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    Every day I think about suicide just don't know

    why I haven't gone through with it yet
    rainyday10 rainyday10 22-25, M 1 Response Jan 19

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    i feel like theres nothing left

    for me in life . i got clean of a 10 yr heroin addiction, but still am a0 worthless stupid junkie no matter what i do. someone i love dearly calls me that,but its true tho : (? all ive ever wanted was a loving and caring family or at least 1 best friend that would be there for...
    foxyoxy123 foxyoxy123 26-30, F 1 Response Apr 6

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    I Feel Guilty For My Feelings Sometimes..

    i know i ll never try again but when i have thoughts and then someone sais ''u r important'' ,''is because i care for  u''or sais something i feel guilty ..because many times i know im not important ,maybe for me ,coz i dont like myself,coz i have many thoughts...
    amysangels amysangels 22-25, F 19 Responses May 7, 2010

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    I don't want to lose.

    I need to keep going. Stop making me think about suicide (note to self) I need to keep going. I want to be able to see if things do get better.
    ponycupcake ponycupcake 18-21, F 2 Responses Feb 24

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    as i read the posts in this space,

    i don't feel as alone as i did before i got here. i'm sorry for everyone's trouble, and my own. do any of you think that we can help each other, since we can kind of relate to how crappy we feel?
    guestno3 guestno3 41-45 2 Responses 1 day ago

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    The Compassion Of A Complete But Caring Stranger (there Is Hope!)

    The video below is of a suicide attempt on a bridge in in Shenzhen City, Guangdong Province, China.  A 16 year-old boy holding a knife is threatening to kill himself as emergency workers attempt to talk him out of hurting himself. As emergency workers are working to resolve the...
    social02 social02 26-30, M 2 Responses Jun 16, 2012

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    Yes, I think about it.

    I'm thinking about it right now. I can almost feel the steel against my skin. The blood flowing out of my veins. I can see it happening. And no one will know until dinner the next day.
    Mordacai Mordacai 18-21, M 2 Responses Mar 12

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    Tonight's the first time

    where I don't care if I love anymore.
    IllusionaryGentleman39 IllusionaryGentleman39 18-21, M 1 Response Mar 27

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    I think about it way to much it is stupid I

    wish it would all go away I can't feel anything anymore I just wunna die at this point
    deadgirlcutter deadgirlcutter 18-21, F 2 Responses Apr 8

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    I don't know whats wrong with me.

    Sometimes I can't even get out of the bed. I try to look at the bright side of things but its hard an I can't.
    arestlesssoul arestlesssoul 22-25, F 1 Response Jan 7

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    Words that should have come by ep somehow but wanted to share...

     This is similar to something i read -i changed it a bit to share it... i wanted ep to do it but i share it .. Don't encourage other members to harm themselves We are here to talk and share feelings and thoughts. Endorsements of suicide are counterproductive. It can...
    amysangels amysangels 22-25, F 2 Responses May 16, 2010

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    Tired

    I get very frustrated with my inability to change and being bogged down in depression.  I certainly consider the possibility of ending my life.  If I can't change and I'm miserable where I am why not just shut it all down.  It's all a futile effort so why even try...
    ReformedAutomaton ReformedAutomaton 36-40, M 27 Responses Jun 11, 2007

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    Darkness is hard to go up against,

    especially when it consumes you. It turns all the positivity into negativity. It puts out every light. And at the end of the tunnel there's no light, there's a hole you fall into. And you take years to climb back up, until something or someone comes along and kicks you off the...
    MagicEyes95 MagicEyes95 18-21, F 4 Responses Feb 3

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    rainyday10 rainyday10 22-25, M Mar 21

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    No Prince Charming Came to Save Me

    I have been through so much, and the only person who came to help me was me. If I didn't do it, it didn't get done. I've tried killing myself before, and those feelings are coming back. My body was too strong and I woke up, no one came to my aide. I'm tired of being nice to...
    Readerblackchic Readerblackchic 18-21, F 1 Response Jun 9, 2009

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    I'm a Failure and I Want to Commit Suicide

    Every time I get into my car I wish to get into an accident and die.  I am 19 years old and am a virgin.  I will never get laid or have a girlfriend because I am an incompetant **** who can't do anything right.  I've only had one girlfriend in my life and that was...
    Alejandro Alejandro 18-21, M 411 Responses Dec 28, 2007

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    So I don't know what I want to do.

    I dont want to kill myself but I dont want to be around. I feel like everything I do causes a problem for those around me, I feel like I am a terrible burden, I have absolutely no self worth, I have no drive to do anything. I know killing myself isn't the answer and besides I...
    SumireLythrum SumireLythrum 22-25, F 1 Response Dec 18, 2014

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    It's scary how much I think about dying.

    The saddest part is that I don't think I would even be missed. How ******* pathetic is that?
    guestno3 guestno3 41-45 1 Response 1 day ago

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    I am so tired of feeling miserable all the time.

    I have a beautiful son who i love more than life itself, a husband who loves me (but doesn't really help, sometimes he is mean bc he can't understand why i am the way i am), my parents are so supportive of me and most of the choices i have made so far, everyone complements how...
    jandn1873 jandn1873 22-25, F 1 Response Mar 15

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    Go Away

    I don't want to ponder you any more. Leave.
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Apr 2, 2008

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    Sometimes, I plan how I would kill myself.

    I would first buy some white sheets for my bed and a beautiful white smooth dress.I would clean my whole room until everythings just perfect. Then I would look for heavy medication, which kill if an overdose has been taken. I would get like alot of them and mix em all together...
    LivingDeadGirl2000 LivingDeadGirl2000 18-21, F 5 Responses Mar 30

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    From a Friend....

    Hey you- tell me what has got you down. There’s no need to cry or wear that frown.   You dont have to commit suicide Because I will be by your side. I’ve been there and I understand you Lean on me and I’ll carry you through. I’m not going...
    fungirlmmm fungirlmmm 41-45, F 11 Responses Aug 8, 2008

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    Is it strange that it's not an emotional thing

    for me? It's just the only direction my life can go and I'm fine with that. I just have to wait until I've distanced myself from anyone who'll be hurt before I can do it
    trashleigh trashleigh 18-21, M 1 Response Apr 6

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    I Think About Suicide

    But I wouldn't consider myself suicidal. Lately I get these really vivid thoughts of me sticking a 12 gauge in my mouth.  It's starting to freak me out.
    deleted deleted 26-30 10 Responses Dec 13, 2007

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    There Is A Point, I Was Wrong

    Did you ever crash with the speed of light? Did you ever feel, all came tumbling down, on top of you? I did, yesterday. And I almost did something stupid. There is this spoof Airport movie, Airplane!, with Lloyd Bridges. In it, there is this running gag, that Bridges' character...
    Idonwannadie Idonwannadie 46-50, M Oct 9, 2012

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    persononinternet persononinternet 18-21, M Mar 22

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    Bipolar Freak

    dduuhhh!! Have tried on more than one occasion but never completed the task. Scared I guess, young perhaps, but I think if/when I get to that point again that I won't be afraid anymore. I've come to grips with it and promised myself that if I do hit THAT low, that place of no...
    mysplitpersonality mysplitpersonality 36-40, F 12 Responses Sep 22, 2007

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    I have been a transgender female

    for many years now and ive always been alone and scared to do anything about it, at the same time i've always been scared to kill myself, until now. I feel like i will any day now if I dont transition but im absolutely clueless where to start. I also live alone with my mother...
    TSerenity TSerenity 26-30, T 2 Responses Mar 25

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    I'm 30. I live alone.

    But yet my parents control me. I can't drink, self harm or see my husband. I have a mental illness, I have been in hospital many times. My parents threaten to take legal action and use it against me if I do any of the mentioned above. This is why I want to die. I am unhappy...
    sarahk85 sarahk85 26-30, F 2 Responses Mar 27

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    My first plan, say Plan "A",

    was about ordering Nembutal over Internet .. I did ... But my parcel has been seized by customs ... So that I now have a Plan "B" ... instead of ordering some stuff over Internet , Plan "B" is about going directly to where I can find the needed stuff , SouthAmerica in this case...
    mybygone mybygone 46-50, M Mar 26

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    I'm 31, single, never been in a relationship,

    no kids, only friends I have are at work. Had the same job since I was 20. 10 years ago I tried to end my life twice, both by overdose. I thought I was better and not had bad thoughts for several years. I don't feel depressed like I did then but still think about ending my life...
    trayas83 trayas83 31-35, M Mar 14

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    Just want to maybe go to a shooting range

    and point the pistol at myself. I don't know why I'm kept here when I could just leave.
    mamapeaches mamapeaches 18-21, F 2 Responses Apr 11

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    About Facing Your Demons

    From 16 to 18 I'd had many suicide atempts; the most serious one was when I took 37 sleeping pils and slpet for 3 days and the time I've thrown myself in the river.I changed alot since then, I am 21 now and see things in a whole new light.The diference is that my old demons never...
    ruedecascades ruedecascades 18-21, M 5 Responses Oct 20, 2008

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    I am pregnant. 27 weeks.

    Thought I was happy about it but as time has gone on I feel indifferent to the bump. No connection to it. I think it is going to make life harder. I think I'm going to be more stressed than usual. I have a long history of depression and suicidal thinking. I am medicated. Have...
    abouttosnap abouttosnap 31-35, F 2 Responses Mar 13

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    How can I sit here with a straight face

    and think rationally about killing myself.
    dinosaurlovesongs dinosaurlovesongs 22-25, M Mar 20

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    Yea..

    It's wrong yea, but it's eternal relief... nothing really else to say..
    PiecingMeBackTogether PiecingMeBackTogether 18-21 3 Responses Oct 12, 2013

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    Don't put me in the middle I am hurting

    so much Don't put me in the middle I cannot be your crutch/ Don't put me in the middle As you so often do Don't put me in the middle I am getting fed up, too/ Don't put me in the middle I am a sensitive flower Don't put me in the middle For you may see my final hour/ Don...
    drummergrl06 drummergrl06 26-30, F 1 Response 6 days ago

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    i know it's not the answer.

    Death seems peaceful.i can not hurt my family,this is why i stay.I have lost so much,my house ,all my income,my mom is very ill.I was diagnosed mentally ill,along with my 3 children.Now i have no clue how i will pay decembers rent ,this is only a couple things,so much more...
    1prettygirl 1prettygirl 36-40, F 12 Responses Nov 9, 2014

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    I don't want to be here anymore.

    I want to disappear. I think about it all the time, I mimic putting a gun to my head and shooting myself. When I'm driving I imagine driving into a wall, When I am cutting up some food and I imagine slitting my wrists. I don't see a future for myself and I never have. Any future...
    theginger89 theginger89 22-25, F 1 Response 1 day ago

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    I Feel Bad*

    I feel really bad for thinking about suicide, I know how selfish it is, I know how much damage it can do to the ones left behind, I know the pain, and the guilt, and the questions, the victim of a suicide feelings. Its terrible, but yet, tonight, I can't help but feel this way...
    xSilentlySufferingx xSilentlySufferingx 18-21, F 3 Responses Jun 1, 2010

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    For me the sadness of existence is the

    endlessness of the love ad the liking. Everything we have and feel will perish. What is there to die for? What is there to live for? In this world all that matters is money, status and superficial items. What does it matter if you are liked or not. When I die or anybody else...
    HoneyCue HoneyCue 31-35, M 2 Responses Apr 6

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    A while ago I've ordered Nembutal over Internet

    and got it seized by customs ... SO that the only available option now is to travel somwhere I can find and buy Nembutal in person ... I'm planning to go to Peru ...I know where it can be found/bought there ... But I feel I need someone with me to go throgh all this ... If we...
    mybygone mybygone 46-50, M Mar 12

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    To Shake Off The Mortal Coils

     Last entry into a diary - authorship unknown. "A permanent solution to a temporary problem" - that is what the wise and good people state to help. The way they make suicide look like a decision based on cowardice is remarkable, when in the end it is a clear statement...
    frostbittensoul frostbittensoul 41-45, M Mar 25, 2010

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    it's good to know there's other people

    that knows how it feels to not wanna be alive anymore has anyone ever tired the suicide prevention hotline like the 1-800 number ? I honestly don't even wanna talk to any one about it sometimes cause I feel like they won't understand or laugh about it. or say I'm just doing it...
    lovermaker21 lovermaker21 18-21, F 1 Response Feb 9

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    From Someone Who's Been There...

       For all of you thinking about suicide, let me tell you about something from someone who’s been there. I contemplated suicide in my teens. Gawky and loserish, I had zero friends and no prospects for a fun high school life whatsoever. My mom used to get drunk and...
    readnwritewithwine readnwritewithwine 31-35, M 4 Responses Nov 7, 2007

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