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I Think About Suicide

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 1,610 People

    To Shake Off The Mortal Coils

     Last entry into a diary - authorship unknown. "A permanent solution to a temporary problem" - that is what the wise and good people state to help. The way they make suicide look like a decision based on cowardice is remarkable, when in the end it is a clear statement...
    frostbittensoul frostbittensoul 41-45, M Mar 25, 2010

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    I am REALLY considering it,

    or at least cutting myself...bad. none of this little trickles of blood, but blood flowing with a knife instead of a safety pin. my abuser is back in town and I'm terrified. these fears won't go away. he needs to be gone so I can feel safe again.
    drummergrl06 drummergrl06 26-30, F 5 Responses 1 day ago

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    I can't drive down the road without fantasizing

    about driving my car into a tree or something in hopes that it'll kill me. I don't trust myself at all anymore.
    sweettlc sweettlc 22-25, F 3 Responses Jul 2

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    It been on my mind a lot every day

    for weeks. I'm so drained and getting frustrated. Is anything going to get better? I'm tired of telling everyone how I feel- that I'm sad, struggling, or being so exhausted. why can't I be great? feeling awesome? amazing? I'm so sick and tired of how I been. So done on feeling...
    brknsilence79 brknsilence79 31-35, F 5 Responses Jul 8

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    From Someone Who's Been There...

       For all of you thinking about suicide, let me tell you about something from someone who’s been there. I contemplated suicide in my teens. Gawky and loserish, I had zero friends and no prospects for a fun high school life whatsoever. My mom used to get drunk and...
    readnwritewithwine readnwritewithwine 31-35, M 4 Responses Nov 7, 2007

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    why I'm so **** so stupid

    why I can't let her alone why I always try talk to her even she want her free room now I should kill me go get a knife and cut my hands that I don't bolder her more I just love her so much I can't live without her I need she I miss her so much ;-; ;-; ;-;
    jassikitty jassikitty 18-21, F 1 Response Jul 5

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    I just want it to stop.

    Make it stop.
    BrokenBabygirlx BrokenBabygirlx 18-21, F 1 Response Jun 26

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    I Think About Suicide

    But I wouldn't consider myself suicidal. Lately I get these really vivid thoughts of me sticking a 12 gauge in my mouth.  It's starting to freak me out.
    deleted deleted 26-30 10 Responses Dec 13, 2007

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    Yes, I think about it.

    I'm thinking about it right now. I can almost feel the steel against my skin. The blood flowing out of my veins. I can see it happening. And no one will know until dinner the next day.
    Mordacai Mordacai 18-21, M 2 Responses Mar 12

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    Its not so much that I think about suicide

    rather just wanting out of this endless tirade that is called life. In a very general sense life is stupid, you are born just to die and all this crap in between, they call it life. I just wonder what is it all for. I mean if I were working towards something other than death...
    mljenkins mljenkins 41-45, F 3 Responses May 1

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    So I don't know what I want to do.

    I dont want to kill myself but I dont want to be around. I feel like everything I do causes a problem for those around me, I feel like I am a terrible burden, I have absolutely no self worth, I have no drive to do anything. I know killing myself isn't the answer and besides I...
    SumireLythrum SumireLythrum 22-25, F 1 Response Dec 18, 2014

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    It's gotten rough for me ever

    since my dad passed away. I wake up every morning regretting opening my eyes because my dad can no longer do that, you know? He no longer gets to sip his coffee on his back porch looking at his little newspaper while hearing the chirping birds. But then I think, "He's better off...
    TrapQueen19 TrapQueen19 18-21, F 1 Response 15 hrs ago

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    Regret

    Disgust Sorrow Depressed Hopeless Autophobia Sometimes I just don't want to be here anymore.
    allofme4 allofme4 22-25, F 1 Response 2 days ago

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    I'm thinking about it

    now to be honest. Its pathetic I know. I probably haven't helped myself by drinking a bit this evening. I've been unhappy for a long while now. It feels like a rut that I'll never get out of.. Maybe I will maybe I won't.. :(
    Toon009 Toon009 31-35, M 2 Responses Jul 10

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    Why is it that my brain is killing me.

    ..???? constant thoughts. so exhausted... sorry everyone. I had a great night last night and it's been awhile since I was so happy. woke up this morning and it seemed like last night didn't happen...back to feeling like I have been depressed and still getting these horrible...
    brknsilence79 brknsilence79 31-35, F 4 Responses Jul 6

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    I have almost run out of things to live for

    and with little to no chance of success in life I believe that is the best if not only option for someone like me.
    MentalDarkness MentalDarkness 18-21, M 1 Response 8 hrs ago

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    I would never do it! But I hate

    that I think about it so much....I should be happy.
    L0ST1 L0ST1 36-40, F 2 Responses Jul 4

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    Yea..

    It's wrong yea, but it's eternal relief... nothing really else to say..
    PiecingMeBackTogether PiecingMeBackTogether 18-21 3 Responses Oct 12, 2013

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    I've been feeling incredibly unhappy &

    rather empty inside. The thought of suicide has started to creep in. Fortunately, I speak to my therapist tomorrow, online... Still, I wish this mental fog will leave me. I know killing myself will really hurt my mom, but... I don't know what to do.
    k4rri3w0lf12 k4rri3w0lf12 26-30, T 2 Responses Jul 13

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    There were the small things.

    Being talked OVER and not TO. Being pushed to be the third wheel. Being used by my (now former) friends. Then there were the big things. The things that meant something like a shot through the heart. Theater class. Another Senior Project assignment was required. It was the...
    sabertigersab sabertigersab 18-21, F 1 Response 3 days ago

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    it's good to know there's other people

    that knows how it feels to not wanna be alive anymore has anyone ever tired the suicide prevention hotline like the 1-800 number ? I honestly don't even wanna talk to any one about it sometimes cause I feel like they won't understand or laugh about it. or say I'm just doing it...
    lovermaker21 lovermaker21 18-21, F 1 Response Feb 9

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    Go Away

    I don't want to ponder you any more. Leave.
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Apr 2, 2008

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    I've been thinking about suicide thr past few

    weeks. My fianeƩ broke up with me after two and a half years. She fell in love with someone else who doesn't want to be in any romantic relationship. She is obsessed with him and I can't live without her. We share an apartment so we live together still. Thid has been killing me...
    tndemarc tndemarc 18-21, M 2 Responses Jul 9

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    i feel like theres nothing left

    for me in life . i got clean of a 10 yr heroin addiction, but still am a0 worthless stupid junkie no matter what i do. someone i love dearly calls me that,but its true tho : (? all ive ever wanted was a loving and caring family or at least 1 best friend that would be there for...
    foxyoxy123 foxyoxy123 26-30, F 2 Responses Apr 6

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    sometimes I want so badly to have friends

    and a life. but most of the time, I want to be left alone. I can't form meaningful relationships, it's like I just don't feel anything but despair. I've all but given up on ever having a real life or career or family.
    sweettlc sweettlc 22-25, F 1 Response 6 hrs ago

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    Tired

    I get very frustrated with my inability to change and being bogged down in depression.  I certainly consider the possibility of ending my life.  If I can't change and I'm miserable where I am why not just shut it all down.  It's all a futile effort so why even try...
    ReformedAutomaton ReformedAutomaton 36-40, M 27 Responses Jun 11, 2007

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    Sadly, I Do.

    I have tried to commit suicide three times before, and came quiet close twice but It never happened. I still think about it often because I am not satisfied with my life at all. But In reality, I'm not actually sure If want to die or If I just want to end my unhappiness. For now...
    KawaiiDoll KawaiiDoll 18-21, F 2 Responses Mar 12, 2011

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    Words that should have come by ep somehow but wanted to share...

     This is similar to something i read -i changed it a bit to share it... i wanted ep to do it but i share it .. Don't encourage other members to harm themselves We are here to talk and share feelings and thoughts. Endorsements of suicide are counterproductive. It can...
    amysangels amysangels 22-25, F 2 Responses May 16, 2010

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    211 is a phone number you can dial

    wherever you live to talk to someone if you're thinking of committing suicide or having other problems. I used to volunteer at the local 211 where I live. They can also help to give you references to mental health services or other resources you may need.
    LoveIsWithinYou LoveIsWithinYou 26-30, M 1 Response 2 days ago

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    I think it is my best option to escape this life

    that I no longer want to live.
    MentalDarkness MentalDarkness 18-21, M 3 Responses Jul 18

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    I Feel Bad*

    I feel really bad for thinking about suicide, I know how selfish it is, I know how much damage it can do to the ones left behind, I know the pain, and the guilt, and the questions, the victim of a suicide feelings. Its terrible, but yet, tonight, I can't help but feel this way...
    xSilentlySufferingx xSilentlySufferingx 18-21, F 3 Responses Jun 1, 2010

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    BrokenBabygirlx BrokenBabygirlx 18-21, F 3 Responses Jul 6

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    Just wanted to officially say ive marked my

    death date my time has come.
    sethperoth sethperoth 18-21, M 2 Responses Jul 3

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    I was only a child when I started to fantasize

    about suicide. Whenever I felt overwhelmed I would think about ending my life and it would bring about a calming effect on me. As the years went on I would go through bouts where I wouldn't think about it as much, mainly because I tried very hard to push it to the back of my...
    anhonestgirl anhonestgirl 26-30, F 2 Responses Jul 4

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    Today I feel so lost

    and down ... The negative energy fully consumed me. I hate my job I dunno any way out ... I don't want to be a loser who gives up because of just four months of hard labour in investment bank... There are much worse things happening in the world now. But I just don't feel...
    thousandcuts thousandcuts 22-25, F 6 Responses Jul 8

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    About Facing Your Demons

    From 16 to 18 I'd had many suicide atempts; the most serious one was when I took 37 sleeping pils and slpet for 3 days and the time I've thrown myself in the river.I changed alot since then, I am 21 now and see things in a whole new light.The diference is that my old demons never...
    ruedecascades ruedecascades 18-21, M 4 Responses Oct 20, 2008

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    Senior year of High School dragged on.

    My friends were terrible. I mean, for my Senior Project in my Theater Class, I formed a group with my two ex-friends Daniela and Sophia and I basically made the whole play. From the writing to the movements to the costumes. You know what I wrote about? Depression and suicide...
    sabertigersab sabertigersab 18-21, F 3 days ago

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    I don't know whats wrong with me.

    Sometimes I can't even get out of the bed. I try to look at the bright side of things but its hard an I can't.
    arestlesssoul arestlesssoul 22-25, F 1 Response Jan 7

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    I think when my depression first started a

    couple of years ago is when my faith began to diminish. People with a strong sense of faith handle depression a lot better I think. They know they can come out of it and they know there will be help. For me... I'm just lost. I don't get life right now; it's like I'm in a...
    Shygirl917 Shygirl917 18-21, F Jul 19

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    deleted deleted 26-30 7 Responses May 13

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    ive always thought about it at times

    but knew I never would follow thru until recently,my feelings about it have change and am making peace with death
    newboigirl newboigirl 31-35, M 3 Responses Jul 9

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    How could death be worse then living in this

    world. This age of technology. This world that's supposed to be more connected through computers and mobile devices when actually it couldn't be more disconnected. Is it social networking sites that's suppose to connect us? The only thing those websites are good for is peoples...
    bfsd150 bfsd150 26-30, M 2 Responses Jul 23

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    Moved to Ca after 1 month my wife of 10 years

    had an affair and is now pregnant. We are no longer together but I'm so lost I've lost my family my wife my daughter there's so much more 2 this story.. I'm just sick of feeling empty being alone and all the lies.
    Suriyan13 Suriyan13 41-45, M Jul 6

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    Sometimes I feel like my job stresses me out to

    no end and I want to take something cold or sharp and ending it all because I've already failed my own life
    Thelonelyasian Thelonelyasian 22-25, M 3 Responses 4 days ago

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    I have always wanted to die,

    since I was a kid. I fantasise about how to do it, how to make it somewhat beautiful even~ at what time of the night to do it~ whether it be a full moon or a stormy evening~ and I'm dressed in a long white gown and jump off the cliff of an ocean somewhere~ let the ocean take me...
    immortellecapture immortellecapture 31-35, F 8 Responses May 5

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    I wish I was dead. I wish I had the strength to

    do it myself, but I don't. I pray that something happens to me everyday. I feel empty alone numb.
    trhsmh trhsmh 22-25, F 2 Responses Jul 19

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