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I Think About Suicide

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 1,358 People

    I Feel Bad*

    I feel really bad for thinking about suicide, I know how selfish it is, I know how much damage it can do to the ones left behind, I know the pain, and the guilt, and the questions, the victim of a suicide feelings. Its terrible, but yet, tonight, I can't help but feel this way...
    xSilentlySufferingx xSilentlySufferingx 18-21, F 3 Responses Jun 1, 2010

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    A Poem For the Dying....

      AS THE TIME NEARS    The time is near to say goodbye to the pain and fears. And this cold lonely place filled with heartache and tears.     I write the note and place it on the door. Notifying all they won’t find me here anymore.  ...
    fungirlmmm fungirlmmm 41-45, F 14 Responses Aug 8, 2008

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    From a Friend....

    Hey you- tell me what has got you down. There’s no need to cry or wear that frown.   You dont have to commit suicide Because I will be by your side. I’ve been there and I understand you Lean on me and I’ll carry you through. I’m not going...
    fungirlmmm fungirlmmm 41-45, F 11 Responses Aug 8, 2008

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    My first plan, say Plan "A",

    was about ordering Nembutal over Internet .. I did ... But my parcel has been seized by customs ... So that I now have a Plan "B" ... instead of ordering some stuff over Internet , Plan "B" is about going directly to where I can find the needed stuff , SouthAmerica in this case...
    mybygone mybygone 46-50, M Mar 26

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    I'm 31, single, never been in a relationship,

    no kids, only friends I have are at work. Had the same job since I was 20. 10 years ago I tried to end my life twice, both by overdose. I thought I was better and not had bad thoughts for several years. I don't feel depressed like I did then but still think about ending my life...
    trayas83 trayas83 31-35, M Mar 14

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    Yes, I think about it.

    I'm thinking about it right now. I can almost feel the steel against my skin. The blood flowing out of my veins. I can see it happening. And no one will know until dinner the next day.
    Mordacai Mordacai 18-21, M 2 Responses Mar 12

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    Bipolar Freak

    dduuhhh!! Have tried on more than one occasion but never completed the task. Scared I guess, young perhaps, but I think if/when I get to that point again that I won't be afraid anymore. I've come to grips with it and promised myself that if I do hit THAT low, that place of no...
    mysplitpersonality mysplitpersonality 36-40, F 12 Responses Sep 22, 2007

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    About Facing Your Demons

    From 16 to 18 I'd had many suicide atempts; the most serious one was when I took 37 sleeping pils and slpet for 3 days and the time I've thrown myself in the river.I changed alot since then, I am 21 now and see things in a whole new light.The diference is that my old demons never...
    ruedecascades ruedecascades 18-21, M 5 Responses Oct 20, 2008

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    I have very strong intrusive suicidal thoughts.

    I've had this most of my life. I'm getting help because I don't want to die; I choose life. I'm currently seeking out support people and groups.
    suzannenderekh suzannenderekh 26-30, F 1 Response Mar 10

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    how often do you guys think of ending your life.

    ? how heavy does it feel to walk upon this earth.? i'm in depression and everything just feels downhill for me. whenever i am alone i think about all that i'm going thru the lies the betrayal. i just feel so broken. its hard to hold on to anything now.
    iRoselyna iRoselyna 26-30, M 3 Responses Apr 6

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    No Prince Charming Came to Save Me

    I have been through so much, and the only person who came to help me was me. If I didn't do it, it didn't get done. I've tried killing myself before, and those feelings are coming back. My body was too strong and I woke up, no one came to my aide. I'm tired of being nice to...
    Readerblackchic Readerblackchic 18-21, F 1 Response Jun 9, 2009

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    I do, every second of every day,

    I try and stop the thoughts but I cant, when I was going through really bad times I listened to hold on by good Charlotte which helped me so much
    lloydieboi14 lloydieboi14 22-25, M 2 Responses Apr 8

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    From Someone Who's Been There...

       For all of you thinking about suicide, let me tell you about something from someone who’s been there. I contemplated suicide in my teens. Gawky and loserish, I had zero friends and no prospects for a fun high school life whatsoever. My mom used to get drunk and...
    readnwritewithwine readnwritewithwine 31-35, M 4 Responses Nov 7, 2007

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    Don't put me in the middle I am hurting

    so much Don't put me in the middle I cannot be your crutch/ Don't put me in the middle As you so often do Don't put me in the middle I am getting fed up, too/ Don't put me in the middle I am a sensitive flower Don't put me in the middle For you may see my final hour/ Don...
    drummergrl06 drummergrl06 26-30, F 1 Response 5 days ago

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    persononinternet persononinternet 18-21, M Mar 22

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    Tonight's the first time

    where I don't care if I love anymore.
    IllusionaryGentleman39 IllusionaryGentleman39 18-21, M 1 Response Mar 27

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    A while ago I've ordered Nembutal over Internet

    and got it seized by customs ... SO that the only available option now is to travel somwhere I can find and buy Nembutal in person ... I'm planning to go to Peru ...I know where it can be found/bought there ... But I feel I need someone with me to go throgh all this ... If we...
    mybygone mybygone 46-50, M Mar 12

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    Every day I think about suicide just don't know

    why I haven't gone through with it yet
    rainyday10 rainyday10 22-25, M 1 Response Jan 19

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    For years, many many years I have thought about

    suicide nearly everyday. I don't remember a day I haven't thought about it. When I was younger I would look at a length of rope or I'd find a rattler or a moccasin in the woods and think, "This could end it pretty soon." I always had a knife that I kept sharp. I would just hold...
    LifeIsBeatingMe LifeIsBeatingMe 26-30, M 5 Responses Feb 14

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    I don't want to be here anymore.

    I want to disappear. I think about it all the time, I mimic putting a gun to my head and shooting myself. When I'm driving I imagine driving into a wall, When I am cutting up some food and I imagine slitting my wrists. I don't see a future for myself and I never have. Any future...
    theginger89 theginger89 22-25, F 2 hrs ago

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    How can I sit here with a straight face

    and think rationally about killing myself.
    dinosaurlovesongs dinosaurlovesongs 22-25, M Mar 20

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    Trying to Cope

    It was Dec 11 2006 when my life was turned upside down. I was injured at work. Since then I have been treated like a liar, my friends form work have stopped calling, I'm in pain 24/7 and the Workers Comp and Social Security system has striped me of all dignity and made me...
    HurtAtWork HurtAtWork 41-45, M 5 Responses Dec 12, 2007

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    Words that should have come by ep somehow but wanted to share...

     This is similar to something i read -i changed it a bit to share it... i wanted ep to do it but i share it .. Don't encourage other members to harm themselves We are here to talk and share feelings and thoughts. Endorsements of suicide are counterproductive. It can...
    amysangels amysangels 22-25, F 2 Responses May 16, 2010

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    The Compassion Of A Complete But Caring Stranger (there Is Hope!)

    The video below is of a suicide attempt on a bridge in in Shenzhen City, Guangdong Province, China.  A 16 year-old boy holding a knife is threatening to kill himself as emergency workers attempt to talk him out of hurting himself. As emergency workers are working to resolve the...
    social02 social02 26-30, M 2 Responses Jun 16, 2012

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    i feel like theres nothing left

    for me in life . i got clean of a 10 yr heroin addiction, but still am a0 worthless stupid junkie no matter what i do. someone i love dearly calls me that,but its true tho : (? all ive ever wanted was a loving and caring family or at least 1 best friend that would be there for...
    foxyoxy123 foxyoxy123 26-30, F 1 Response Apr 6

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    For me the sadness of existence is the

    endlessness of the love ad the liking. Everything we have and feel will perish. What is there to die for? What is there to live for? In this world all that matters is money, status and superficial items. What does it matter if you are liked or not. When I die or anybody else...
    HoneyCue HoneyCue 31-35, M 2 Responses Apr 6

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    I'm 30. I live alone.

    But yet my parents control me. I can't drink, self harm or see my husband. I have a mental illness, I have been in hospital many times. My parents threaten to take legal action and use it against me if I do any of the mentioned above. This is why I want to die. I am unhappy...
    sarahk85 sarahk85 26-30, F 2 Responses Mar 27

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    I am so tired of feeling miserable all the time.

    I have a beautiful son who i love more than life itself, a husband who loves me (but doesn't really help, sometimes he is mean bc he can't understand why i am the way i am), my parents are so supportive of me and most of the choices i have made so far, everyone complements how...
    jandn1873 jandn1873 22-25, F 1 Response Mar 15

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    So I don't know what I want to do.

    I dont want to kill myself but I dont want to be around. I feel like everything I do causes a problem for those around me, I feel like I am a terrible burden, I have absolutely no self worth, I have no drive to do anything. I know killing myself isn't the answer and besides I...
    SumireLythrum SumireLythrum 22-25, F 1 Response Dec 18, 2014

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    Go Away

    I don't want to ponder you any more. Leave.
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Apr 2, 2008

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    Sometimes a tall building seems inviting.

    It's crossed my mind quite a bit lately.
    WhoseMe WhoseMe 18-21, F 2 Responses 9 hrs ago

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    I have been a transgender female

    for many years now and ive always been alone and scared to do anything about it, at the same time i've always been scared to kill myself, until now. I feel like i will any day now if I dont transition but im absolutely clueless where to start. I also live alone with my mother...
    TSerenity TSerenity 26-30, T 2 Responses Mar 25

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    I don't know whats wrong with me.

    Sometimes I can't even get out of the bed. I try to look at the bright side of things but its hard an I can't.
    arestlesssoul arestlesssoul 22-25, F 1 Response Jan 7

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    bas001 bas001 22-25, M 3 Responses Mar 2

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    Sadly, I Do.

    I have tried to commit suicide three times before, and came quiet close twice but It never happened. I still think about it often because I am not satisfied with my life at all. But In reality, I'm not actually sure If want to die or If I just want to end my unhappiness. For now...
    KawaiiDoll KawaiiDoll 18-21, F 2 Responses Mar 12, 2011

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    I am pregnant. 27 weeks.

    Thought I was happy about it but as time has gone on I feel indifferent to the bump. No connection to it. I think it is going to make life harder. I think I'm going to be more stressed than usual. I have a long history of depression and suicidal thinking. I am medicated. Have...
    abouttosnap abouttosnap 31-35, F 2 Responses Mar 13

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    i know it's not the answer.

    Death seems peaceful.i can not hurt my family,this is why i stay.I have lost so much,my house ,all my income,my mom is very ill.I was diagnosed mentally ill,along with my 3 children.Now i have no clue how i will pay decembers rent ,this is only a couple things,so much more...
    1prettygirl 1prettygirl 36-40, F 12 Responses Nov 9, 2014

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    There Is A Point, I Was Wrong

    Did you ever crash with the speed of light? Did you ever feel, all came tumbling down, on top of you? I did, yesterday. And I almost did something stupid. There is this spoof Airport movie, Airplane!, with Lloyd Bridges. In it, there is this running gag, that Bridges' character...
    Idonwannadie Idonwannadie 46-50, M Oct 9, 2012

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    I wish my mind didn't go there,

    but it does. Nights like tonight throw me into a dark place. It's not all about what happened and I'm not running from anything. I'm unable to live. I wake up and it hurts inside. If I sit, my chest hurts and stomach cramp up. If I walk around, my mind races and starts to...
    Beansmasher Beansmasher 31-35, M 1 Response Mar 12

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    Darkness is hard to go up against,

    especially when it consumes you. It turns all the positivity into negativity. It puts out every light. And at the end of the tunnel there's no light, there's a hole you fall into. And you take years to climb back up, until something or someone comes along and kicks you off the...
    MagicEyes95 MagicEyes95 18-21, F 4 Responses Feb 3

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    I don't even know what I'm doing anymore.

    I don't know what people like about me. There's that one saying of "You shouldn't care what people think about you because it's about you and what you want" or "This isn't about them. It's about you". Should I agree? I don't want to hurt anyone, even though I know I already have...
    JK7448 JK7448 18-21, F 1 Response Mar 22

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    Is it strange that it's not an emotional thing

    for me? It's just the only direction my life can go and I'm fine with that. I just have to wait until I've distanced myself from anyone who'll be hurt before I can do it
    trashleigh trashleigh 18-21, M 1 Response Apr 6

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    What id i just ended it all?

    No one would probably be phase, maybe happy even. Maybe i should
    Crawfdawg95 Crawfdawg95 18-21, M 1 Response Mar 23

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    I think about it way to much it is stupid I

    wish it would all go away I can't feel anything anymore I just wunna die at this point
    deadgirlcutter deadgirlcutter 18-21, F 2 Responses Apr 8

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    rainyday10 rainyday10 22-25, M Mar 21

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    Tired

    I get very frustrated with my inability to change and being bogged down in depression.  I certainly consider the possibility of ending my life.  If I can't change and I'm miserable where I am why not just shut it all down.  It's all a futile effort so why even try...
    ReformedAutomaton ReformedAutomaton 36-40, M 27 Responses Jun 11, 2007

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