Post
Experience Project iOS Android Apps | Download EP for your Mobile Device
This experience may contain mature content, as flagged by the community. Please click away if you do not want to see this content, or if you are not of age. To report inappropriate content, please email us.

I Think Chuck Norris Facts Are The Shit

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 31 People

    Chuck Norris Is A *****

    a conservative republican who got his *** kicked by bruce lee
    promethius50 promethius50 46-50, M Sep 23, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    The Top 103!

    Yes, i copied and pasted them! ENJOY!! and have a good laugh! 1.) Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits 2.) The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain. 3.) There is no chin under Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist. 4.) Chuck Norris has two speeds. Walk, and Kill. 5...
    deleted deleted 26-30 10 Responses Jul 17, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Related Experiences

    Chuck Norris’ PC doesn’t have a Recycle bin – because when Chuck Norris deletes something, there’s no chance of it coming back.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses 4 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Chuck Taylor wears Chuck Norris All Stars.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Sep 29

    Your Response

    Cancel
    When he was cool, it was the Ice Age and now that Chuck Norris is hot, we have Global Warming.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Sep 30

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Chuck Norris' brain is connected to the internet and can clear the web by blinking.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Oct 1

    Your Response

    Cancel
    During a power outage, Chuck Norris kick started the generators at Hoover Dam.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Oct 5

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Beginner, Easy, Medium, Hard, Expert, Intense, Impossible, Chuck Norris.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Oct 7

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Chuck Norris had a pet monkey. We know him as King Kong.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Oct 9

    Your Response

    Cancel
    When Chuck Norris stares at the sun.....it blinks!
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses a week ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    The Boubonic Plague didn't wipe out almost half of Europe. . Chuck Norris did.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 4 Responses 6 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Chuck Norris is too cool to get hot, and too hot to get cool.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses 5 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    When Chuck Norris swings a sword, the air bleeds.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 4 Responses 1 day ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    A new thrill seeking adventure is waiting til Chuck is done talking and saying "Cool story, bro". So far the world record is at "coo..", before death.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Oct 8

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Chuck Norris ordered all these peoples here to post Chuck Norris Facts or he would roundhouse kick them ...
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Oct 11

    Your Response

    Cancel
    The Matrix once had to take the red pill to escape from Chuck Norris. It failed. Nothing can escape from Chuck Norris.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Sep 23

    Your Response

    Cancel
    They were going to release a Chuck Norris edition of Clue, but the answer always turns out to be "Chuck Norris. In The Library. With a Roundhouse Kick."
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Oct 3

    Your Response

    Cancel
    911 dials Chuck Norris to see if there's any emergency he hasn't resolved yet. Chuck Norris usually laughs.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Oct 4

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Cloning Chuck Norris was a sucess, they cloned a smaller Chuck Norris named Arnold Shwartsneger.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Oct 8

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Did you hear about what Chuck Norris did to the guy who threw him in the lake? Just kidding... NOBODY throws Chuck Norris!
    Cristofori Cristofori 41-45, M Oct 8

    Your Response

    Cancel
    The pie scene in "American Pie" is based on a dare Chuck Norris took when he was younger. However, in Chuck Norris' case, the "pie" was the molten crater of an active volcano.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses 5 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    When Chuck Norris was born, the only person who cried was the doctor. Never slap Chuck Norris.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses 4 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    If Chuck Norris round-house kicks you, you will die. If Chuck Norris misses you with the round-house kick, he'll falcom pawnch. but he doesn't miss.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses 4 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Oscar the Grouch didn't always live in a trash can. He owed Chuck Norris money but didn't pay and Chuck roundhouse kicked his dumpster.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Oct 10

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Chuck Norris was asked if he would be running for President, after a chuckle, he stated, nothing makes him run.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Oct 13

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Chuck Norris once broke the law, they are still trying to put it back together.
    Dante12345 Dante12345 16-17, M Sep 24

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Supernovas aren't the reason stars exist, but when Chuck Norris gets angry, he blows up a part of the galaxy, weird they're billion of miles apart.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Oct 2

    Your Response

    Cancel
    There are no plate tectonics. The Earth crumbles and moves beneath Chuck Norris' feet.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Oct 3

    Your Response

    Cancel
    When bullets are fired at Chuck Norris, he deflects them all by roundhouse kicking them.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Oct 9

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Chuck Norris gave Italy the BOOT.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Sep 23

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Daffy Duck stutters thanks to Chuck Norris
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Sep 23

    Your Response

    Cancel
    To get his boots Chuck Norris just kicks a cow.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Sep 23

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Did you hear that? Chuck Norris just got a little more awesome.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 4 Responses Sep 23

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Chuck Norris is the only one who can win a game of monopoly by saying "checkmate".
    Dante12345 Dante12345 16-17, M Sep 24

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Chuck Norris played Russian roulette with a fully loaded handgun... And won .
    Dante12345 Dante12345 16-17, M Sep 24

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Chuck Norris beat Rocky Balboa
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Sep 24

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Chuck Norris caught a cold and made it sick.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Sep 24

    Your Response

    Cancel
    While on a beach in Flordia Chuck Norris did a roundhouse kick into the sand that caused a sonic boom.a few days later the Haiti relief fund was made
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Sep 24

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Chuck Norris's motorcycle has 4WD
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Sep 24

    Your Response

    Cancel
    When Chuck Norris goes to bed he doesn't count sheep, he EATS them...
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Sep 24

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Chuck Norris' cell phone?....the i phone OVER 9000
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Sep 25

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Google is named after the number of Kilograms Chuck Norris can benchpress.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Sep 25

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Chuck Norris has never killed a man with his kick, he disintegrates their molecular structure.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Sep 25

    Your Response

    Cancel
    At a restaraunt, every hour is happy hour for Chuck Norris
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Sep 25

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Chuck Norris can lick his own elbow while doing a roundhouse kick.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Sep 25

    Your Response

    Cancel
    When Chuck Norris places a straw on a camels back it breaks.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Sep 25

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Chuck Norris once urinated in a semi's gas tank as a joke. That semi is now known as Optimus Prime. :D
    rycbar10 rycbar10 26-30, F 1 Response Sep 26

    Your Response

    Cancel