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I Think Chuck Norris Facts Are The Shit

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 31 People

    Chuck Norris Is A *****

    a conservative republican who got his *** kicked by bruce lee
    promethius50 promethius50 46-50, M Sep 23, 2012

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    The Top 103!

    Yes, i copied and pasted them! ENJOY!! and have a good laugh! 1.) Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits 2.) The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain. 3.) There is no chin under Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist. 4.) Chuck Norris has two speeds. Walk, and Kill. 5...
    deleted deleted 26-30 10 Responses Jul 17, 2012

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    Related Experiences

    Chuck Norris’ PC doesn’t have a Recycle bin – because when Chuck Norris deletes something, there’s no chance of it coming back.
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    Chuck Taylor wears Chuck Norris All Stars.
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    When he was cool, it was the Ice Age and now that Chuck Norris is hot, we have Global Warming.
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    Chuck Norris' brain is connected to the internet and can clear the web by blinking.
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    During a power outage, Chuck Norris kick started the generators at Hoover Dam.
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    Beginner, Easy, Medium, Hard, Expert, Intense, Impossible, Chuck Norris.
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    Chuck Norris had a pet monkey. We know him as King Kong.
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    When Chuck Norris stares at the sun.....it blinks!
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    The Boubonic Plague didn't wipe out almost half of Europe. . Chuck Norris did.
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    Chuck Norris is too cool to get hot, and too hot to get cool.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses a week ago

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    When Chuck Norris swings a sword, the air bleeds.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 4 Responses 3 days ago

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    A new thrill seeking adventure is waiting til Chuck is done talking and saying "Cool story, bro". So far the world record is at "coo..", before death.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Oct 8

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    Chuck Norris ordered all these peoples here to post Chuck Norris Facts or he would roundhouse kick them ...
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Oct 11

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    They were going to release a Chuck Norris edition of Clue, but the answer always turns out to be "Chuck Norris. In The Library. With a Roundhouse Kick."
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Oct 3

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    911 dials Chuck Norris to see if there's any emergency he hasn't resolved yet. Chuck Norris usually laughs.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Oct 4

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    Cloning Chuck Norris was a sucess, they cloned a smaller Chuck Norris named Arnold Shwartsneger.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Oct 8

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    Did you hear about what Chuck Norris did to the guy who threw him in the lake? Just kidding... NOBODY throws Chuck Norris!
    Cristofori Cristofori 41-45, M Oct 8

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    The pie scene in "American Pie" is based on a dare Chuck Norris took when he was younger. However, in Chuck Norris' case, the "pie" was the molten crater of an active volcano.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses a week ago

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    When Chuck Norris was born, the only person who cried was the doctor. Never slap Chuck Norris.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses 6 days ago

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    If Chuck Norris round-house kicks you, you will die. If Chuck Norris misses you with the round-house kick, he'll falcom pawnch. but he doesn't miss.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses 6 days ago

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    Oscar the Grouch didn't always live in a trash can. He owed Chuck Norris money but didn't pay and Chuck roundhouse kicked his dumpster.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Oct 10

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    Chuck Norris was asked if he would be running for President, after a chuckle, he stated, nothing makes him run.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Oct 13

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    Supernovas aren't the reason stars exist, but when Chuck Norris gets angry, he blows up a part of the galaxy, weird they're billion of miles apart.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Oct 2

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    There are no plate tectonics. The Earth crumbles and moves beneath Chuck Norris' feet.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Oct 3

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    When bullets are fired at Chuck Norris, he deflects them all by roundhouse kicking them.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Oct 9

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    Chuck Norris' cell phone?....the i phone OVER 9000
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Sep 25

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    Google is named after the number of Kilograms Chuck Norris can benchpress.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Sep 25

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    Chuck Norris has never killed a man with his kick, he disintegrates their molecular structure.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Sep 25

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    At a restaraunt, every hour is happy hour for Chuck Norris
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Sep 25

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    Chuck Norris can lick his own elbow while doing a roundhouse kick.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Sep 25

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    When Chuck Norris places a straw on a camels back it breaks.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Sep 25

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    Chuck Norris once urinated in a semi's gas tank as a joke. That semi is now known as Optimus Prime. :D
    rycbar10 rycbar10 26-30, F 1 Response Sep 26

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    Chuck Norris doesn't leave tips, he leaves roundhouse kicks.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Sep 26

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    If you write Chuck Norris on a dollar bill, George Washington will roundhouse kick you in the mouth.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Sep 26

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    If you stare at the American flag long enough, you will see Chuck Norris.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 4 Responses Sep 26

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    Chuck Norris puts the "fun" in "funearal
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    Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked a cereal box and created Rice Krispies... SNAP, CRACKLE and POP.
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    Night time...when Chuck Norris tells the sun it's time for bed.
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    Ninja Turtles hide in the sewer because they know Chuck Norris rules the land.
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    Snuffleupagus didn't always talk that way. Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked him in the brain.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Sep 27

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    When Chuck Norris spits, a Tusnami starts.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Sep 27

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    Beef jerky is the result of cows staring at Chuck Norris too long.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Sep 27

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    Chuck norris defeats a bear in an arm wrestle, just by looking at it.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Sep 27

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    Chuck Norris Doesn't Text or Tweet...he communicates via Law and Order or in laymans terms, with his feet.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Sep 27

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    It is said that to stare Chuck Norris directly in the eyes is like having your soul roundhouse kicked into limbo.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Sep 28

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