Chuck Norris’ PC doesn’t have a Recycle bin – because when Chuck Norris deletes something, there’s no chance of it coming back.
When he was cool, it was the Ice Age and now that Chuck Norris is hot, we have Global Warming.
Chuck Norris' brain is connected to the internet and can clear the web by blinking.
During a power outage, Chuck Norris kick started the generators at Hoover Dam.
Beginner, Easy, Medium, Hard, Expert, Intense, Impossible, Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris had a pet monkey. We know him as King Kong.
When Chuck Norris stares at the sun.....it blinks!
The Boubonic Plague didn't wipe out almost half of Europe. . Chuck Norris did.
Chuck Norris is too cool to get hot, and too hot to get cool.
When Chuck Norris swings a sword, the air bleeds.
Chuck Norris doesn't wish on stars, he gives them demands.
A new thrill seeking adventure is waiting til Chuck is done talking and saying "Cool story, bro". So far the world record is at "coo..", before death.
Chuck Norris ordered all these peoples here to post Chuck Norris Facts or he would roundhouse kick them ...
They were going to release a Chuck Norris edition of Clue, but the answer always turns out to be "Chuck Norris. In The Library. With a Roundhouse Kick."
911 dials Chuck Norris to see if there's any emergency he hasn't resolved yet. Chuck Norris usually laughs.
Cloning Chuck Norris was a sucess, they cloned a smaller Chuck Norris named Arnold Shwartsneger.
Did you hear about what Chuck Norris did to the guy who threw him in the lake? Just kidding... NOBODY throws Chuck Norris!
The pie scene in "American Pie" is based on a dare Chuck Norris took when he was younger. However, in Chuck Norris' case, the "pie" was the molten crater of an active volcano.
When Chuck Norris was born, the only person who cried was the doctor. Never slap Chuck Norris.
If Chuck Norris round-house kicks you, you will die. If Chuck Norris misses you with the round-house kick, he'll falcom pawnch. but he doesn't miss.
Chuck Norris once bet NASA he could survive re-entry without a spacesuit.
On July 19th, 1999, a naked Chuck Norris re-entered the earth's atmosphere, streaking over 14 states and...
Oscar the Grouch didn't always live in a trash can. He owed Chuck Norris money but didn't pay and Chuck roundhouse kicked his dumpster.
Chuck Norris was asked if he would be running for President, after a chuckle, he stated, nothing makes him run.
Supernovas aren't the reason stars exist, but when Chuck Norris gets angry, he blows up a part of the galaxy, weird they're billion of miles apart.
There are no plate tectonics. The Earth crumbles and moves beneath Chuck Norris' feet.
When bullets are fired at Chuck Norris, he deflects them all by roundhouse kicking them.
Chuck Norris' roundhouse kicks are so fast, he literally CAN kick you into next week!
When Chuck Norris' chidren use the line, "But DAD said I could do it," it works.
Chuck Norris uses his own Facebook, it's called "Roundhouse Kick to the Face-book"
The light at the end of the tunnel is actually Chuck Norris holding a flashlight.
NASA did land on the Moon. This happened at the same time as Chuck Norris stared at the Moon. That's why the Moon was acting weird at the time.
Chuck norris can paint the town red, with blue paint
Thunder and lightning were named after Chuck Norris' fists.
When Chuck Norris goes to the DMV, he doesn't have to take a number.
Chuck Norris visits the volcanoes of Hawaii for a hot tub bath every now and then.
Some men cut themselves shaving, Chuck Norris makes razorblades go rusty.
If there was a game about Chuck Norris nobody would play it because every time you opened it up it would roundhouse kick you'd be to scared to play.
When Chuck Norris roundhouse-kicks you HE decides when you will feel the impact .
Chuck Norris ended the Cold War. Ronald Reagan only helped.
The Candyman can, but Chuck Norris can do it better.
Chuck Norris taught Gordon Ramsey how to cook.
They had to include Chuck Norris on the cast of Expendables 2, otherwise, he would have kicked the ***** of Stallone, Statham, Swarzenegger, Couture..
Chuck Norris was originally going to play Leonidas in 300 but he kept kicking the Persian over the pit into outer space.
The Bird Is The Word Because Chuck Norris Didn't Want To Be The Word.
Aliens fear that Chuck Norris might abduct them.