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I Think Chuck Norris Is the Man

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 90 People

    Chuck Norris bites the hand

    that feeds him. And gets seconds.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Jun 28

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    Chuck Norris was named valedictorian of his

    high school on the first day of his freshman year.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Jul 10

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    Chuck Norris is the one

    that bottled the mythical Genie in a bottle..
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Jun 6

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    Although it is not common knowledge,

    there are actually three sides to the Force: the light side, the dark side, and Chuck Norris
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses May 31

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    My kids and I love him.

    He was awesome in The Expendables!
    Nuovinzi Nuovinzi 41-45, F Jun 28

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    Michael Jordan was recently asked

    who he thought was the greatest basketball player in the world. His answer? Chuck Norris.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Jul 1

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    Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on

    the same planet with Chuck Norris.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Jul 6

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    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses May 21

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    There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's

    computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses May 28

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    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Jul 9

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    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses 1 day ago

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    Chuck Norris was scuba diving

    when he came face to face with a menacing Great White Shark. Chuck gave the shark a bloody nose and leisurely continued his dive.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Jun 10

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    Chuck Norris can play the guitar.

    ...with his eyelashes
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses a week ago

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    All of Chuck Norris' limbs act

    as natural particle accelerators.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 1 Response Jun 7

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    I don't understand what's

    so great about him
    loveylaura loveylaura 26-30, F 2 Responses Jun 10

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    Chuck Norris was bitten by a cobra,

    cobra died after 5 days.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Jun 26

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    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 1 Response Apr 10

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    Chuck Norris is ten feet tall,

    weighs two-tons, breathes fire, and could eat a hammer and take a shotgun blast standing.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Jun 14

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    Three drunk men charged towards Chuck Norris

    with bottles. He single leggedly disarmed all three whilst kicking them all in the face at the same time.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Jul 13

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    They once named a street

    after Chuck Norris, but they had to close it down because no one dared cross Chuck Norris.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Jul 16

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    Chuck Norris threw a grenade

    and killed 50 people. Then it blew up.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses May 26

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    How can he take & arrest all those bad guys

    and never go to the restroom?
    Randy1a Randy1a 51-55, M 1 Response Jun 7

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    A Chuck Norris edition of Clue was to be

    released, but the answer was always: "Chuck Norris. In The Library. With a Roundhouse Kick."
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses May 19

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    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Jun 16

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    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses May 29

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    Chuck Norris hit a ball over the center field

    wall at Yankee Stadium... from his summer home in L.A.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Jun 17

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    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Jul 7

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    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses 3 days ago

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    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Jul 8

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    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Jul 2

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    Paper beats rock, rock beats scissors,

    and scissors beats paper, but Chuck Norris beats all 3 at the same time.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Apr 13

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    A duck’s quack does not echo.

    Chuck Norris is solely responsible for this phenomenon. When asked why he will simply stare at you, grimly.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses May 30

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    On every continent of the world,

    there is a sandwich named after Chuck Norris. On the North American continent it's the Knuckle Sandwich.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses 2 days ago

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    Chuck Norris can become invisible by telling

    light to not reflect off of him.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses 5 days ago

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    When Chuck Norris enters the restaraunt,

    he doesn't order. He demands.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Jun 12

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    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses May 6

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    When Bruce Banner gets mad,

    he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets mad, he turns into Chuck Norris.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Jun 5

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    With one steely eyed glare,

    Chuck Norris turned Atilla the Hun into whats now known as the Easter Bunny.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Jun 25

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    All of Chuck Norris' limbs act

    as natural particle accelerators.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Jul 3

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    Chuck Norris doesn't wear sunscreen,

    the sun wears Chuck Norris-screen.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Jun 8

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    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Jun 18

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    There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris'

    computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Jul 4

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    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Jun 19

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    Before they met Chuck Norris,

    the Black Eyed Peas were simply known as "The Peas."
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses May 20

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    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 4 Responses Jun 9

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    Related Experiences

    A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris' shoe. Chuck replied, "Don't you know who I am? I'm Chuck Norris!" The mere mention of his name cured this man blindness. Sadly the first...
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Jun 30

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    Chuck Norris is a man of few words. Chuck Norris is not a man of few roundhouse kicks to the face.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Jun 30

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    Chuck Norris eats out only at buffets; no one serves Chuck Norris and lives.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Jul 8

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    Chuck Norris doesn't believe in Santa... Santa believes in Chuck Norris!!
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 4 Responses Jul 9

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    A Chuck Norris edition of Clue was to be released, but the answer was always: "Chuck Norris. In The Library. With a Roundhouse Kick."
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Jul 11

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    Fear is not the only emotion Chuck Norris can smell. He can also detect hope, as in “I hope I don’t get a roundhouse kick from Chuck Norris.”
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses 6 days ago

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    The Manhattan Project was not intended to create nuclear weapons, it was meant to recreate the destructive power in a Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick. They didn't even come close.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Jun 29

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    Chuck Norris' pet piranha, Steve, likes to catch fresh Rainbow Trout for Chuck.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Jul 1