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I Think Chuck Norris Is the Man

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 98 People

    Three drunk men charged towards Chuck Norris

    with bottles. He single leggedly disarmed all three whilst kicking them all in the face at the same time.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Jul 13

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    Chuck Norris can play the guitar.

    ...with his eyelashes
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Jul 18

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    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Jul 2

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    The mountain didn't go to Mohammed.

    It would have for Chuck Norris.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Jul 30

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    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses May 21

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    Chuck Norris doesn't wear sunscreen,

    the sun wears Chuck Norris-screen.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Jun 8

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    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Jul 7

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    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Jul 26

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    The Empire never found the droids they were

    looking for. Chuck Norris would have.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Jul 26

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    Michael Jordan was recently asked

    who he thought was the greatest basketball player in the world. His answer? Chuck Norris.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Jul 1

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    A duck’s quack does not echo.

    Chuck Norris is solely responsible for this phenomenon. When asked why he will simply stare at you, grimly.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses May 30

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    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Jul 24

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    On every continent of the world,

    there is a sandwich named after Chuck Norris. On the North American continent it's the Knuckle Sandwich.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Jul 23

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    There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris'

    computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Jul 4

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    When Chuck Norris goes to bed,

    he checks the closest for Bruce Lee.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Aug 2

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    There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's

    computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses May 28

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    They once named a street

    after Chuck Norris, but they had to close it down because no one dared cross Chuck Norris.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Jul 16

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    Chuck Norris never won an Academy Award

    for Acting because HE IS NOT acting
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Jul 28

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    All of Chuck Norris' limbs act

    as natural particle accelerators.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Jul 3

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    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 4 Responses Jun 9

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    Chuck Norris bites the hand

    that feeds him. And gets seconds.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Jun 28

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    When Chuck Norris enters the restaraunt,

    he doesn't order. He demands.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Jun 12

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    Chuck Norris can become invisible by telling

    light to not reflect off of him.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Jul 20

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    The Dos Equis guy is not exploring the world.

    He's hiding from Chuck Norris!
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Aug 4

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    My kids and I love him.

    He was awesome in The Expendables!
    Nuovinzi Nuovinzi 41-45, F Jun 28

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    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Jun 18

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    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Jul 31

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    Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on

    the same planet with Chuck Norris.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Jul 6

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    Chuck Norris doesnt do the ice bucket challenge.

    Chuck Norris does the HOT LAVA BUCKET CHALLENGE.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Aug 20

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    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses May 6

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    When Bruce Banner gets mad,

    he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets mad, he turns into Chuck Norris.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Jun 5

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    Before they met Chuck Norris,

    the Black Eyed Peas were simply known as "The Peas."
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses May 20

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    Chuck Norris was named valedictorian of his

    high school on the first day of his freshman year.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Jul 10

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    In reality, only Chuck Norris is allowed to

    sing "We are the Champions". He has no time for losers. He will rock you.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Aug 1

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    Chuck Norris threw a grenade

    and killed 50 people. Then it blew up.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses May 26

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    Chuck Norris is actually the best bodyguard in

    the world, too bad he is self employed
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Jul 29

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    Although it is not common knowledge,

    there are actually three sides to the Force: the light side, the dark side, and Chuck Norris
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses May 31

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    Related Experiences

    Rhythm is a slave to the Chuck Norris.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Aug 2

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    A man once asked Chuck Norris how much he benched. Chuck Norris sighed and roundhouse kicked him through a wall and said "I don't bench, I wall".
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses 6 days ago

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    Chuck Norris does not know Pain--Pain knows Chuck Norris, as it is roundhouse-kicked in the face daily by Chuck.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Aug 4

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    Chuck Norris does not wear a condom because there is no protection from Chuck Norris. source: http://www.jokes4us.com/celebrityjokes/chucknorrisjokes.html
    Lefty39 Lefty39 46-50, M Aug 6

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    They stoped making Chuck Norris movies because you don't watch Chuck Norris he watches you
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Jul 30

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    Chuck Norris won the 2014 Pulitzer Prize for his 874 page short story called "Me, Chuck Norris".
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Aug 3

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    All this started with Vin Diesel Facts. They were changed to Chuck Norris Facts because Chuck Norris Facts are so much more realistic
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Aug 5

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