I Think Chuck Norris Is the Man

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 97 People

    When Chuck Norris falls over,

    the ground needs a band-aid.
    jml2000 jml2000
    61-65, M
    1 Response Sep 3, 2014

    The Dos Equis guy is not exploring the world.

    He's hiding from Chuck Norris!
    jml2000 jml2000
    61-65, M
    1 Response Aug 4, 2014
    jml2000 jml2000
    61-65, M
    1 Response Jul 9, 2014
    jml2000 jml2000
    61-65, M
    1 Response Sep 6, 2014
    jml2000 jml2000
    61-65, M
    1 Response May 29, 2014

    Chuck Norris never won an Academy Award

    for Acting because HE IS NOT acting
    jml2000 jml2000
    61-65, M
    1 Response Jul 28, 2014

    Demons don't hunt Chuck Norris.

    . He is hunting them!!!
    jml2000 jml2000
    61-65, M
    1 Response Aug 28, 2014

    Chuck Norris is actually the best bodyguard in

    the world, too bad he is self employed
    jml2000 jml2000
    61-65, M
    1 Response Jul 29, 2014

    Chuck Norris got set on fire.

    The fire had to stop, drop, and roll.
    jml2000 jml2000
    61-65, M
    1 Response Sep 18, 2014

    The mountain didn't go to Mohammed.

    It would have for Chuck Norris.
    jml2000 jml2000
    61-65, M
    1 Response Jul 30, 2014

    Chuck Norris threw a grenade

    and killed 50 people. Then it blew up.
    jml2000 jml2000
    61-65, M
    1 Response May 26, 2014
    jml2000 jml2000
    61-65, M
    1 Response May 6, 2014
    jml2000 jml2000
    61-65, M
    1 Response Jun 16, 2014

    Chuck Norris is not allowed in an airplane

    because every piece of him is a lethal weapon and can't pass the security gates.
    jml2000 jml2000
    61-65, M
    2 Responses Sep 4, 2014

    The Empire never found the droids they were

    looking for. Chuck Norris would have.
    jml2000 jml2000
    61-65, M
    2 Responses Jul 26, 2014

    Kimbo Slice copied Chuck Norris' beard.

    When confronted, Kimbo's beard simply fell off and spotaneously combusted.
    jml2000 jml2000
    61-65, M
    1 Response Jan 5, 2015
    jml2000 jml2000
    61-65, M
    1 Response Sep 8, 2014

    There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris'

    computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.
    jml2000 jml2000
    61-65, M
    2 Responses Jul 4, 2014

    If Chuck Norris were ever to visit New

    Hampshire no one there would live free.
    jml2000 jml2000
    61-65, M
    1 Response Mar 23, 2015

    In reality, only Chuck Norris is allowed to

    sing "We are the Champions". He has no time for losers. He will rock you.
    jml2000 jml2000
    61-65, M
    1 Response Aug 1, 2014

    Chuck Norris’ PC doesn’t have a Recycle bin

    – because when Chuck Norris deletes something, there’s no chance of it coming back.
    jml2000 jml2000
    61-65, M
    1 Response Oct 18, 2014

    When Chuck Norris is done with his workout,

    his gym equipment needs ice packs and Ben Gay.
    jml2000 jml2000
    61-65, M
    1 Response Sep 11, 2014

    Before they met Chuck Norris,

    the Black Eyed Peas were simply known as "The Peas."
    jml2000 jml2000
    61-65, M
    1 Response May 20, 2014
    jml2000 jml2000
    61-65, M
    3 Responses Jun 9, 2014

    Chuck Norris's calendar goes from March 31st

    to April 2nd because nobody fools Chuck Norris.
    jml2000 jml2000
    61-65, M
    2 Responses Aug 28, 2014

    Chuck Norris doesnt do the ice bucket challenge.

    Chuck Norris does the HOT LAVA BUCKET CHALLENGE.
    jml2000 jml2000
    61-65, M
    1 Response Aug 20, 2014
    jml2000 jml2000
    61-65, M
    2 Responses Jun 18, 2014

    When he enters his living room,

    the television turns on to watch Chuck Norris.
    jml2000 jml2000
    61-65, M
    2 Responses Aug 30, 2014

    Chuck Norris wanted the biggest,

    baddest, safest, vehicle out there, which is why he now runs every where he goes.
    jml2000 jml2000
    61-65, M
    1 Response Sep 13, 2014
    jml2000 jml2000
    61-65, M
    1 Response Sep 19, 2014
    jml2000 jml2000
    61-65, M
    1 Response Oct 15, 2014

    The Boubonic Plague didn't wipe out almost half

    of Europe. . Chuck Norris did.
    jml2000 jml2000
    61-65, M
    2 Responses Oct 16, 2014

    While learning CPR Chuck Norris actually

    brought the practice dummy to life.
    jml2000 jml2000
    61-65, M
    1 Response Sep 14, 2014

    There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's

    computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.
    jml2000 jml2000
    61-65, M
    1 Response May 28, 2014
    jml2000 jml2000
    61-65, M
    1 Response Jul 31, 2014

    They once named a street

    after Chuck Norris, but they had to close it down because no one dared cross Chuck Norris.
    jml2000 jml2000
    61-65, M
    2 Responses Jul 16, 2014

    When Chuck Norris enters the restaraunt,

    he doesn't order. He demands.
    jml2000 jml2000
    61-65, M
    2 Responses Jun 12, 2014

    Chuck Norris doesn't wish on stars,

    he gives them demands.
    jml2000 jml2000
    61-65, M
    1 Response Oct 25, 2014
    jml2000 jml2000
    61-65, M
    2 Responses Oct 21, 2014

    Santa Claus fired all his elves

    and hired Chuck Norris.
    jml2000 jml2000
    61-65, M
    2 Responses Nov 29, 2014
    jml2000 jml2000
    61-65, M
    2 Responses Jul 22, 2014

    When Chuck Norris goes to bed,

    he checks the closest for Bruce Lee.
    jml2000 jml2000
    61-65, M
    1 Response Aug 2, 2014

    Chuck Norris doesn't wear sunscreen,

    the sun wears Chuck Norris-screen.
    jml2000 jml2000
    61-65, M
    1 Response Jun 8, 2014

    Beginner, Easy, Medium,

    Hard, Expert, Intense, Impossible, Chuck Norris.
    jml2000 jml2000
    61-65, M
    2 Responses Oct 7, 2014

    Three drunk men charged towards Chuck Norris

    with bottles. He single leggedly disarmed all three whilst kicking them all in the face at the same time.
    jml2000 jml2000
    61-65, M
    2 Responses Jul 13, 2014

    A duck’s quack does not echo.

    Chuck Norris is solely responsible for this phenomenon. When asked why he will simply stare at you, grimly.
    jml2000 jml2000
    61-65, M
    1 Response May 30, 2014
    jml2000 jml2000
    61-65, M
    1 Response Nov 18, 2014
    jml2000 jml2000
    61-65, M
    1 Response May 21, 2014
    jml2000 jml2000
    61-65, M
    1 Response Aug 31, 2014

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