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I Think Dominance and Submission Can Be Healthy

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 2,674 People

    A New Chapter

    About five years ago, my husband and I became interested in BDSM.  Specifically, Dominant/submissive relationships.  After doing some reading, my initial reaction to the whole submissive concept was one of disgust.  What self respecting woman would allow herself to be...
    deleted deleted
    14 Responses Apr 15, 2012

    The Hotel Manager

    On a business trip to Zambia last week, I was greeted by an enthusiastic young Dutch lady, who was managing the hotel I was staying in. She had been on the job only a few weeks, and she was all smiles and laughs, and very friendly and polite. Even though she had taken up a...
    drfessee drfessee
    36-40, M
    Nov 15, 2013

    Never Fully Believed It Was Healthy Till Recently....

    Being completely submissive to someone, has more or less been a foreign concept to me, I explored it and felt scared for the last year, or intimidated/scared of the Dom(s) who I'd spoken to. I was beginning to think that all Dom's were out to degrade and hurt women. Granted I do...
    Greeneyedandcurious Greeneyedandcurious
    26-30, F
    2 Responses May 6, 2013

    I Have Known The Healthier Side Of Harmful. (Part-1)

    PART-1He was 40 years my senior. He was my first Dominant male experience. He was married to a woman he deeply loved. He was terribly honest from the onset that I was to be no more then an occasional sexual partner and traveling companion for him. He did not want to risk scandal...
    sharonsub sharonsub
    31-35, F
    5 Responses Aug 13, 2013

    Take Me

    Torture me sweetly Rip my clothes away Reveal my naked skin Dominate my body Give me your sweetest sin Violate my innocents Hammer your hardness Into my softness Tears of pain Roll from my eyes While streams of pleasure Seep from between my thighs Conquer me...
    deleted deleted
    5 Responses Oct 25, 2012

    The Need...from A Submissive Perspective.

    I read SirSecret's story "The Need" EP Link and like all his stories it totally struck a chord with me.  But this one went deeper then usual and I wanted to talk about it's meaning and how it felt from my own standpoint. Hubs and I have been told many times that we really aren't...
    sierra33 sierra33
    31-35, F
    21 Responses Sep 21, 2012

    The Imperfect Dominant’S Charter - The Truth Will Set You Free

    I've been battling the idea of a Dominant that I read on the net and thinking about what's the reality of it all. I came across this charter and this gives a real goal to strive for. "The Imperfect Dominant’s Charter I will **** up, more than once. On at least one of those...
    Iguyking Iguyking
    41-45, M
    3 Responses Aug 30, 2013

    Master and I do not live a conventional M/s

    life. We do not use any sort of punishment or humiliation. I am not a masochist and he is not interested in sadistic pleasure. I have asked him to lead me, guide me, make many requests for how i can better serve him. he still words those requests as questions and uses the...
    Mastersmaiden Mastersmaiden
    26-30, F
    2 Responses Mar 7, 2014

    Genuine: What Do You Want? Who And What Are You?

    Genuine: What Do You Want? Who And What Are You? By: Me Written on September 16th, 2012 Genuine: What do you want? Who and what are you? A recent Dom posted some things about ‘needing’. It important for us to...
    justbrowing9994 justbrowing9994
    56-60, F
    4 Responses Sep 16, 2012


    I believe that it is instinctual for males to want to protect and provide and to create a family... these drives lead most men to be more domanite in a relationship. I believe wemon have an instinct to nurtuer and love and to care for the family and the home... this tends to...
    41-45, M
    4 Responses Jul 14, 2013


    I find it very refreshing. Being in a relationship where a true man shows his dominance over me. Not in a negative or a demeaning way, but in a controlling way. A man who knows what he wants and knows how to get it. I enjoy men who lead the way for their mates to follow. Sex is...
    deleted deleted
    3 Responses Sep 28, 2013

    What kind of role do you

    as a Dom take? Or if you are a Sub, what kind of role does your Daddy, Master, or Sir take? My Daddy is a Nurturer most of the time but will take on the controller or disciplinarian role when warranted.
    AngelGirl2Him AngelGirl2Him
    41-45, F
    1 Response May 23, 2014

    What Submission Means To Me...

    Submission can conjure up different meanings for different people but I find it to be a beautiful thing. To trust in your partner enough to give him or her control is almost a freedom that he or she will take care of your needs not just physically but mentally as well. To have...
    gingerpie71 gingerpie71
    36-40, F
    11 Responses Feb 13, 2012

    I think this is probably the best kind of

    relationship I have ever been in. I like the way he has to pay attention to my subtle clues to know how I'm dealing with what he wants.
    ChloeGenovar ChloeGenovar
    22-25, F
    4 Responses May 21, 2015

    Dominant Doesn't Mean Domineering.

    dom·i·nant (adjective) 1.ruling, governing, or controlling; having or exerting authority or influence: dominant in the chain of command. 2.occupying or being in a commanding or elevated position. 3.predominant; main; major; chief: Corn is the dominant crop of Iowa. dom·i...
    AmericanLeanings AmericanLeanings
    31-35, F
    7 Responses Aug 27, 2011

    I Know It Is.

    When D/s isn't healthy, it tends to be abuse and ceases to be D/s. It's a parody. It's a lie. It's 50 Shades of Why-Do-People-Still-Idolize-That-Book. It's the only time I'll say there is such thing as real dominance and real submission: when it's not abuse and when it's...
    SofiaGrowsFlowers SofiaGrowsFlowers
    22-25, T
    Nov 3, 2013

    So True

    I believe this lifestyle is the most healthy. As my amy's master and owner I control her body happily. she obeys me or pays the consequence. But I love my amy so deeply and care about her with all my being. As her master I demand that she does certain things for herself. For...
    amysdaddy amysdaddy
    41-45, M
    2 Responses Nov 17, 2012

    The Beginning

    Captain McCarthy realized that one of his best leaders hadn’t celebrated his birthday, the holidays or anything else. This was a problem. He called the sergeant into this office and confirmed he had nobody and nothing outside of the military. “What did you do for the...
    deleted deleted
    Aug 29, 2013

    Set The Record Straight!

    I’d like to set the record straight. I WANT to win this argument discussion. I NEED to see you’ll stick to your guns. I WANT you to pretend you didn’t see me roll my eyes. I NEED you to not put up with it. I WANT you to not mention that I forgot my cell phone again. I...
    joshslittlegirl joshslittlegirl
    26-30, F
    7 Responses Mar 31, 2012

    My New Life

    I have had many questions on as to what happened after i split with Kraven my old Master...I have since found a new one and his name is Jeremy. I love him very much and he not only treats me as his slave but also as his lover. I'm not saying life as his slave is easy because...
    HisLittlePrincess HisLittlePrincess
    18-21, F
    9 Responses Jul 19, 2012

    But only if it's what

    both parties truly want - and only if they're honest with each other. It can be very harmful if it's mishandled by either the dom or the sub - even if unintentionally =O
    BSTisapain BSTisapain
    51-55, F
    2 Responses Nov 1, 2014

    Bondage Freaks Monthly

    Photography: Lilith Model: G. Farquhar Digital editing: G. Farquhar Words: G. Farquhar
    TheNakedPoet TheNakedPoet
    46-50, M
    1 Response Jul 7, 2013

    I've always wanted to be a sub probably.

    In my 20's I didn't know what it was called what I do remember is that the man I married at 32 wanted tender sex... I found you post divorce and you were perfect. I've found that you know what I want before I want it. What I got when I got you was a poly man. Huh... Fast...
    lilimartelini lilimartelini
    51-55, F
    1 Response Feb 16, 2016

    So You Want To Be Dominated And Used...

    I would like to hear from all the ladies who get off on being used and abused, dominated, degraded, and humiliated. I want to know details. And, tell me what gets you off about it... Do you want to be tied spread eagle face up, or *** in the air face down? When you say raped...
    comicgregjohnson comicgregjohnson
    46-50, M
    Aug 22, 2013

    Submission Is Not Weakness.

    To those on the outside looking in, they see you kneeling and misunderstand your position. They hear you call out, “Master!”, and apply the filters of their ignorance and inexperience. They see your training and call it cruel. But you know the truth they can not see. You...
    PaleFox PaleFox
    46-50, M
    3 Responses Jul 29, 2013

    You have to be who you are.

    You can't see an aspect of your life and try to ignore it and hope it goes away. If you are dominant person, you should be that person. Find a submissive partner who wants to be that person. Anything else is going to feel unnatural, will never be totally fulfilling and will...
    OhDaddyMmm OhDaddyMmm
    36-40, M
    Aug 13, 2014

    Too many lines have been crossed

    and trust broken. So right now with where we are in our relationship, it's not healthy for us...
    teadiva teadiva
    36-40, F
    1 Response May 8, 2015

    Every day that I push myself past the limit at

    work my thumbs and arms start tingling. I love/hate the sensations. I feel like a robot when it gets bad.
    deleted deleted
    1 Response Aug 11, 2015

    I Don't Like Hearing "I have no rights"

       I am generally a 'two each his own' sort of gal, but I can't help but feel a pang when I hear someone say, "I have no rights".  So I am going to make an assertion that there is a difference between power and rights. It may be semantics, but I would rather talk the same...
    ladyfound ladyfound
    26-30, F
    9 Responses Aug 7, 2012

    It is in my view, helps create balance

    and peace when nothing else works.
    sweetangel20 sweetangel20
    22-25, F
    Aug 31, 2015

    Thursdays must be our new day.

    Magic seems to be happening lately. To love and be loved. I asked you to marry me day before last. Of course it was a joke. But we both know there are truths in that joke between us. You nuzzled my head and held me tighter. You chuckled and had I been able to see your face I'm...
    lilimartelini lilimartelini
    51-55, F
    1 Response Feb 20, 2016

    Naked and helpless I kneel down in front of you,

    my mistress. Begging you to take use of my humble male body and mind. Yours to use and abuse, to be treated as your property, to command as you wish. Naked and helpless I kneel down before you, wishing to serve you, worship you to the best of my abilities. Naked and helpless I...
    ChainedDragon ChainedDragon
    41-45, M
    Mar 30, 2014

    The term ‘Acid Test’ is an old prospecting

    term. A powerful acid can dissolve most base metals in a matter of minutes. Gold however, will stand up to most acids. The ‘Acid Test’ was an easy way for people to make sure they had a real nugget of gold and not a lump of the ‘fool’s’ variety. In the same way, these...
    wcsub wcsub
    41-45, F
    Dec 10, 2013

    Safe, Sane, and consensual.

    Three words that hold a lot of meaning in a Dom/sub relationship. Doms and subs both, what are some of the things that you do to play Safe, Sane, and Consensual. A few of mine are as follows: Dom/sub relationships can get very intense at times during play. We should always play...
    oldiron33 oldiron33
    56-60, M
    1 Response Dec 26, 2014

    Hard to find another Dom.

    My last relationship was perfect sexually, but everything else was a big ole mess.
    deleted deleted
    1 Response May 7, 2015

    Submissive Christian Wife

    I am hoping to find a Christian woman who is a submissive type. I've been tormented and confused about what to do on this topic for years. It's like a the very crux of who and what I am is stifled. Over the last few days, after stumbling on Experience Project, it is dawning on...
    Ajushi Ajushi
    41-45, M
    1 Response Nov 8, 2013

    It Can Be

    Within the confines of a healthy and respected adult relationship dominance and submission can be healthy.  I am not speaking about those who lack common sense and want to dominate someone just to get off on being cruel to someone.  I am talking about an mutually accepted...
    WildSpectrumArts WildSpectrumArts
    46-50, F
    9 Responses Jun 19, 2012

    A Traditional Marriage.

    Ever since reaching puberty and developing my sexuality I've been attracted to older men but never understood why. I thought I was an oddity. I realise now it is not just older men I'm interested in but men with a powerful presence and an unassuming air of confidence. Usually age...
    RobertaSunset RobertaSunset
    36-40, F
    8 Responses Aug 17, 2010

    Womens Purpose

    Hello. I am Ally. The sub of my Master Davis. He asked me to write and post this as part of my ongoing training. Any comments you have I will gladly respond to. Respectfully submitted. As a woman it is our purpose to serve men. God made us out of their rib, so we serve their...
    deleted deleted
    2 Responses Jan 4, 2013

    Who Is In Control

    When a couple enters into a domination and submission relationship, most would assume that the dominant partner is the one who has control. The Dom is looking for control and the sub is looking to give up control. But the submissive partner has a lot more control than most would...
    adarkhunter adarkhunter
    51-55, M
    9 Responses Apr 2, 2012

    Some Principles I Live By......

    These are some guidelines that I have developed over the years. Some are meant to be a bit humorous, I think that one should be able to laugh a little bit and not take themselves too seriously. Please understand, these are only one man's humble opinion on what governs me. I...
    mastrmind mastrmind
    31-35, M
    7 Responses Oct 24, 2012

    On A Dominant’s Touch

    One thumb. One finger. That is all a Dominant needs to take his girl to the deepest, darkest recesses of her erotic center and make her feel simultaneously owned, taken, ravished, and savored. But is this all a Dominant needs? If so, then any man can clutch a nipple, take a...
    deleted deleted
    13 Responses Jan 30, 2012

    Mutual Consent

    What scares her, is the thrill The abandoning of will That I'd crawl inside her mind And use it … what I find What thrills her is the fear That I might hold her here Keep her wanderin thoughts for me Like the other things she needs I think of her … drink from her...
    hlpflwthat hlpflwthat
    51-55, M
    26 Responses Apr 6, 2012

    Women Need To Be Taught To Respect And Obey

    Women need to be taught and forced to respect and obey their father and later their husband as their masters and owners, second only to GOD in rank in her estimation. I am not joking and in my world women are reminded of this fact. The idea of "equality" is make believe and...
    Wolfbilly Wolfbilly
    41-45, M
    13 Responses Jul 27, 2011

    Help! I need advise or better

    yet answers. I don't know what This is about me. This feeling I get. Sometimes well almost always I just need my husband/sir. He started many many years ago (maybe 12) calling it "being needy" I get a little whiney and just need to cuddle and lay with him. I don't like to...
    silencedshy silencedshy
    26-30, F
    7 Responses Jun 6, 2015

    To Submit (My First Hopefully Not My Last)

    I want to learn to submitReading stories of it intrigued and added the logs to the flames that was lit yrs agoWith A crawl and a leash i was turned oncurious per-say a dominant male maybe funBut nothing furtherCouple years later i subdued myself by choice it truly was not the...
    Leydyanais28 Leydyanais28
    31-35, F
    Jul 8, 2013

    Biblical submission is not about being a slave

    or doormat AT ALL! A lot of people think that. It is actually a military term that describes rank. So the husband is a higher ranking officer ? not the highest ranking officer! He must submit to Christ and God?s Word. And if he asks his wife to do something that goes against God...
    caer caer
    36-40, M
    Jun 4, 2015

    Initiation- sweetness I am there in front of

    everyone the room dark, except for the flames of the fire mesmerizing me as I try to push through the fear and will myself to step forward towards Him I am there of my own choice Every step I have made deliberately, with careful thought I sought this out, to surrender to put...
    wcsub wcsub
    41-45, F
    Dec 11, 2013

    Julia Opens Up

    We met one sunny afternoon in Grand Army Plaza around the fountain. New York is a great place to be in early summer, and there is no more pleasant place to spend some leisure time than listening to the wonderful variety of music that is often provided free in the city's public...
    deleted deleted
    5 Responses Aug 8, 2011

    Need Advice For How To Find A Submissive, Sexual Christian Wife

    Hey there, I really appreciate all the posts I see online about dominant/submissive and healthy sexual dynamics. I'm writing in hopes of getting advice on how to find such a woman. Any help you can give will be greatly appreciated. I'm dominant and only connect properly at an...
    Ajushi Ajushi
    41-45, M
    Nov 8, 2013

    My Punishment

    My husband and I have been going back and forth on his strong desire/demand for me to be submissive. I've tried but had been fighting him on this.  Finally, he started to spank me three times a day followed by my giving oral sex to him on my knees.  By establishing...
    Learning2bsubmissive Learning2bsubmissive
    41-45, F
    1 Response Apr 7, 2010
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