I Think I Want a Divorce Forum & Chat Board | How do you know when to get a divorce

I realize this is not a yes or no nor a black and white answer.    I have been married for 22 years.  A daughter who is 19 from this marriage.  I don't know what to do and the only thing that is really holding me back is financial issues.  I have been unemployed for almost 9 months; am applying for disability but not sure if I can support myself.

I have friends that have 3 or 4 divorces and they tell me to stay.  I'm so confused.  I have asked my husband if he wants a divorce and he says no--but we do not communicate; we do not spend time together; and I see him as a selfish person.

I have done things that have hurt our marriage (no infidelity) but I have misled him about financial matters and that has led to mistrust and I don't blame him.  I have discovered that men (sorry guys) but men feel that money is their money and a woman should be contributing.  I have at times worked two jobs for over six years.  There's bittnerness because I resent that fact that he is not "Father of the Year" for our daughter.  She is daddy's little princess.  I have been the disciplinian while he is the good guy.  

I have told him that he is not doing his daughter's any favors.  (This is a whole different topic) and I can't resolve what has already been done.  

I'm so confused---

 

I am sorry to hear about what you are experiencing right now. 

It's really sad and I think I would have to disagree with your friends and your husband. I would go with what you feel and I believe this is what you want too.

According the the Divorce Guide , one of the top reasons for divorce is communication breakdown and financial matters. based on what I have read and understoon on this post, that is what you are currently facing and I believe it is best for you to just let it go.

You might just want to read through the guide on the said link. Hope it would be of great help to you. I wish you all the best. Hope you'll eventually be fine.

 

Thank you for your feedback!!  I will read through the divorce guide.  The hubby has agreed to marriage counseling and we have had our first session.  We'll see how it goes!  Thanks!!

 

I would check out a few books from your local library.  Your friends mean well, but this decision is yours and yours alone. Believe me, I've asked many people for advice and gotten all kinds.  Take it in and think about it all, but make the decision on your own.  Try reading "How to know if it's Time to go." (title) can't remember author.  And for a more personal view, try reading Judith Viorst's book. (author) can't remember title lol. 

I've been married 23 years and am contemplating divorce. I worry about financial stuff too, and other things, like fixing house problems, cars, outdoor work etc. These are all things you either need to be able to do yourself or have the money to hire someone or have a boatload of good friends and relatives to support you. I've had a bad marriage for over 10 years and it finally came to a head about 6 months ago when I realized that however much I tried to make it work, I wasn't getting what I needed in return. It's actually affected my health. Before you divorce, though, you should probably be sure to try everything possible to save the marriage so you don't leave with guilty feelings.  Also see Mort Fertel's email program for saving your marriage. It's free. You get emails with tips on how to make things better. Just google "Mort Fertel" and sign up for his free email program if you think you're interested. I wish you well.