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I Think Kids Say the Cutest Things

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    Where I lived in the late 70's the 'Hell's Angels' (biker club) was a big part of the local community. My new stepfather who had never NOT worked a day in his life was off work with knee surgery at the time. He joked about himself and other adults who didn't work calling them...
    AbbyNormal AbbyNormal 31-35, F 9 Responses Sep 24, 2007

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    My wife, my two year old son

    and I visited our friends. They had become parents a little more than three months ago of a sweet little daughter named Michelle. Previously, Michelle was an easy-care and contented baby. But on the day of our visit she was plagued by the first signs of this very evil and...
    Michael91142 Michael91142 70+, M 6 Responses Jul 29

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    Folding Clothes

    I needed help folding clothes, so I taught my 3-year old daughter to help me match and fold pairs of socks. I presented it to her like a matching game and she had a blast. The next time I asked for help, she showed up enthusiastically, folded one pair, then asked me: "Dad...
    SleeplessKnight SleeplessKnight 41-45, M 8 Responses Oct 22, 2013

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    Vulnerable Momma

    One day while visiting the local medi clinic and waiting to see the doc, I took my 3 children with me into the " family restroom" as I sorely needed use of the facilities. Into the restroom we all went, my school age son, toddler daughter and infant son and me and my full bladder...
    gumshoejane2 gumshoejane2 36-40, F 18 Responses Nov 10, 2013

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    It's ComingThere are certain inevitable things

    parents would want to delay. It really didn't happen but this may as well be the prelude to the actual thing.Today, 10-year old Raspberry told me:"Mommy, I think my menstruation is coming."My response? Picture Edvard Munch's 'The Scream.' 
    mareliberum mareliberum 26-30 Jun 27

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    They don't judge and quickly say things without

    thinking about it, I just wish everybody could be like this. A world that didn't judge would be such a better place. People wouldn't have to worry about what they're wearing or the colour of their skin, for example
    mxnica mxnica 13-15, F 5 Responses Aug 8

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    gardengirl17 gardengirl17 22-25, F Jul 2

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    What is 6 + 0 ? Six-year old Blueberry pouts

    and cries, "That is so hard!"
    mareliberum mareliberum 26-30 1 Response Jun 29

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    Nephew eating his toy Me: That's dirty,

    the germs will get inside your body Niece: Who is germs? lol
    hellohithere hellohithere 31-35, F 3 Responses May 2

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    Gold, Common Sense and Fur...

    Gold, Fur and Common Sense  My husband and I had been happily (most of the time) married for five years, but hadn't been blessed with a baby.  ...
    Lexus Lexus 36-40, F 6 Responses Nov 28, 2007

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    The 'Kid', Today

    I was recently sipping a delicious iced coffee at a Panera Bread cafe, reading a magazine. It was crowded and lunch rush hour. To my left sat an older gentleman with his granddaughter. They were chuckling here and there, and I just found the two of them so relaxed and...
    joydream joydream 31-35, F 6 Responses Jun 17, 2013

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    Not that I get many social invites,

    but when invited to a neighbor's house for a cook out, everyone was admiring their new patio table with a fire pit in the middle. I recently sent my girls to Christian schools and one said "nice Alter". No wonder we don't get invites!!!!
    jalea1 jalea1 46-50, F 3 Responses Jul 10

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    What is Facebook? Ten-year old Raspberry

    claims she has no idea what Facebook is. "Facebook. I don't even know what's Facebook. Do you face a book?"
    mareliberum mareliberum 26-30 1 Response Jul 7

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    Chaos

    We were picking my baby (5) up from pre-school today when the teacher approached us and told us how wonderful our little boy is - that he played with another child who had no playmate. This is the second of our three in the school that this teacher has had, and she told us "all...
    ambroseguy80 ambroseguy80 46-50, M 10 Responses Nov 20, 2013

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    A father was at the beach with his children

    when the four-year-old son ran up to him, grabbed his hand, and led him to the shore, where a seagull lay dead in the sand. "Daddy, what happened to him?" the son asked. "He died and went to Heaven," the dad replied. The boy thought a moment and then said, "Did God throw him...
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 4 Responses Jan 25

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    My 4 Year Old Daughter Saw Me Changing My Newborn Son...

    She had the most puzzled look on her face. She was staring at his private area and said to me in the sweetest voice..."Mommy, is that his butt tongue?" I was floored to say the least.. I was so shocked I couldn't even think of a better answer then, "No, no, it's not his butt...
    Smilechik Smilechik 31-35, F 5 Responses Nov 5, 2013

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    My stepsister told her teacher

    that we don't have any money LOL
    hornewrecked hornewrecked 16-17, F 2 Responses Jul 3

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    The Birds and the Bees.

    .. During March Break I took two of my children and three of their friends on an outdoor adventure. The kids were chatting and joking with each other, as we were hiking through the woods. Suddenly, my 10 yr-old daughter's friend walks up to me and asks, "Is it true that you can...
    Unjusted Unjusted 36-40, F 3 Responses Mar 23

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    Help Me Search Today,

    six-year old Blueberry approached me to help her type something on Google. I asked, "What are you searching for?" She nonchalantly answers, "How to get more toys."
    mareliberum mareliberum 26-30 3 Responses Jul 5

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    A kid i know told me "up is up

    and down is... Sometimes up cause some people live in Australia! They walk upside down on their hands and one time... A little boy fell of the earth! *gasps*" she got so annoyed when i laughed but how couldn't i?! It was SO cute!
    Error404nameunknown Error404nameunknown 13-15, F 1 Response Jun 27

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    A Note on A Test Paper I felt bad

    when ten-year old Raspberry got only one correct answer out of the ten questions. But I felt worse when I read a note under the written score that says, "keep it up."
    mareliberum mareliberum 26-30 1 Response Jul 7

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    Due to a power outage,

    only one paramedic responded to the call of a woman unexpectedly giving childbirth at her home. The house was very dark (with the electric disabled), so the paramedic asked Kathy, a 3 year old girl, to hold a flashlight high over her Mommy, so he could see while he delivered...
    karmameter karmameter 36-40, M 1 Response Jul 28

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    I was eating lunch with some friends today

    and noticed this little girl in a table across from us kept staring at me. I thought I was just being paranoid until I saw her tug on her moms sleeve and point to me and say "Mom! It's Merida!" And then she waved at me. Lol I couldn't help but to laugh and wave back. It was so...
    SolitarySummer SolitarySummer 22-25, F 2 Responses Aug 13

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    My son was five years old,

    as following funny thing happened: My wife and I went for a walk with our son. My son went between us on our hands when he suddenly let go of my Hand and hugged his mum. His face beamed with happiness and love as he looked at her and said: "Mum, I love you. You're the best...
    Michael91142 Michael91142 70+, M 6 Responses Jul 2

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    The Magic Word

    My friend and I are sitting at our table and eat dinner with my parents. "Mum, I need the juice jug!" I ask loudly. "What's the magic word my son?" my mother asks seriously. "Abracadabra!" Sam and I giggle, my father hide his giggles behind a coughing fit. My mother shook...
    Mike9272 Mike9272 41-45, M 6 Responses Oct 4, 2013

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    It was the 60th birthday of my mother in law

    Maria. On this occasion, we celebrated with her ​​and her husband in their home. Maria had made much trouble with lunch for her guests, accordingly, much work she had in her kitchen when we were all well saturated.Well, Maria was a wonderful hostess, even on her birthday...
    Michael91142 Michael91142 70+, M 3 Responses Aug 12

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    Bijoux Explains It All...

    I'm the eldest of my four siblings, and my mother has told me that often they looked to me for understanding when confused about things they encountered. And I endeavoured to clear things up (whether I knew the answers or not was irrelevant). My mother told me the following story...
    bijouxbroussard bijouxbroussard 46-50, F 4 Responses Apr 22, 2013

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    I work with children.

    It's rewarding but also very draining. But, it's times like the one I'm about to tell you about that make it very much worth it. I was going through a hard time and found my self losing concentration and just not bring my usual happy go lucky, playful self. I remember sitting...
    ahsiyah101 ahsiyah101 22-25, F 2 Responses Jun 27

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    We're Prostitutes!!!

    We were a large family 5 kids and we had just sat down for our first cobbled together meal after moving to California, nothing to speak of was unpacked and we had just converted to Protestants as well. There was all the usual jabbering going on and my Mom sensing the youngest...
    Mountainman923518 Mountainman923518 56-60, M 27 Responses Sep 24, 2007

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    My cousin is pregnant with twins (one boy,

    one girl) she's due to give birth at some point in the next few weeks and she wants to decide on names. Are there any suitable (preferably posh/high class) names that would fit the surname Heron-Maxwell that anybody can think of?
    projectgwyn101 projectgwyn101 16-17, M 3 Responses Aug 1

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    Wedding...

    quick scene set up..soon to be husband and i standing in front of family freinds etc... minister(who we had known for ages) says do you Xxx take Xxxxxxx to be...four year old nephew from the back of the church yells "NOOO HE CAN'T TAKE HER!!" to a wave of giggles his mom finally...
    greyslady greyslady 36-40, F 1 Response May 29, 2012

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    One Day In Walgreen'S---Or Was It Cvs ?

    (I posted this as a response to a question in Q & A, but it's a true story---happened a couple of years ago) I saw the most amazing thing one day at the drugstore. I was waiting in line and in the seated area I could hear a commotion. A woman was berating a little girl of about 5...
    bijouxbroussard bijouxbroussard 46-50, F 13 Responses Apr 16, 2013

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    Little Emma returned from the birthday party

    and her mother asked: “Did you say ‘thank you’?” “Well, no,” replied the little girl. “Y’see, the girl ahead of me thanked her and she said, ‘Don’t mention it!’ so I didn’t.”
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Jul 28

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    Me: Megan did you just toot?

    Megan: no mommy don't you know girls don't fart? Me: oh really ? Megan: yeah and girls don't poop either! Me: oh so what was that think I used to change from ur diapers that was really stinky? Megan: OMG mommy is cause my but vomited! Me: Oh wow idk that. Megan: yeah that...
    Ilyme Ilyme 31-35, F 1 Response Jun 27

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    My son was a little over two years old

    when he watched curiously as the wife of my best friend was nursing their 2 months old daughter Michelle. Breathless with excitement, he asked his mother what Susan did and why. My wife told him quietly that Michelle was hungry and needed the milk from Susan's breasts to grow...
    Michael91142 Michael91142 70+, M 4 Responses Jul 10

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    I just heard a little girl tell a boy "You're

    under arrest for having no respect for ninjas" There is hope for our future yet.
    ThePinkP0werRanger ThePinkP0werRanger 26-30, F 2 Responses Jul 23

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    After Brushing Her Teeth My 5 Year Old Came Into My Bedroom

    I asked her if her teeth were all fresh and clean, she said "Yes, and my ha is clean too." I was confused as could be, wondering if she had taken the toothbrush to her hoo ha!! So I said "Your ha?" She said, "Yeah, my" then she breathed in my face, lol. "HAAAAAAAA" In her mind...
    Smilechik Smilechik 31-35, F 7 Responses Nov 5, 2013

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    My son was almost 5 years old,

    when he asked me what a mnemonic is. In order that the reader in the English-speaking countries understand better the humor of the later following situation, I have to explain before, that the German word for mnemonic is donkey bridge. I answered my son´s question in simple...
    Michael91142 Michael91142 70+, M 3 Responses Jul 25

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    I met my new students yesterday,

    they shocked when they saw me, (idk why lol). And i thought i could control them well but i couldnt.. They kept asking me:" Mr. Lindberg do you have a girlfriend?" I said:" no". Then one of them popped out of nowhere and said to me:" i have a boyfriend." Wow... Kids in this...
    JamesLindberg JamesLindberg 22-25, M 3 Responses Jul 8

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    Adorable

    My little 5 year old is sick, and out of nowhere he looked at me a little while ago and said ''mommy, when I die and I become a baby again, you be sure you pick me, because I love you so much and nobody can take care of me like you do.'' You should have seen me smiling, ear to...
    JennMomof4 JennMomof4 31-35, F 6 Responses Jun 23, 2013

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    When a new child visited our Sunday school,

    the teacher greeted him and asked his age. The little boy held up four fingers. "Oh, you're 4," said the teacher. "And when will you be 5?" The child stared at her and after a few seconds replied, "When I hold up the other finger."
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 4 Responses Apr 19

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    And Do Things That Can Surprise You

    It was a weekend when I went to visit my kids, my son (4 years old) came to me, smiling, his eyes were shining, he looked at me and said: ” Shhhh…!!! Mum, I have money for you…he took a small cloth bag out of his pocket jeans and gave to me…when I...
    deleted deleted 26-30 9 Responses May 6, 2008

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    A group of young children were sitting in a

    circle with their teacher. She was going around in turn asking them all questions. "Davey, what sound does a cow make?" Davey replied, "It goes 'moo'." "Alice, what sound does a cat make?" Alice said, "It goes 'meow'." "Jamie, what sound does a lamb make?" Jamie said, "It...
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 4 Responses Jan 23

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    Tonight while shopping at the mall with my

    daughter and a friend, we noticed it was getting late, yet I still had a few stops I wanted to make. I said, "We better hurry if we want to make it before they close." As we hustled down the aisles my daughter says to us, "Could you imagine if shopping was a sport?" We...
    Unjusted Unjusted 36-40, F 1 Response Aug 20

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    So my little God brother ask me y is he

    so short and i said, Because your parents are short and he said "Or also because he didn't have enough pieces to complete me"💙 -It was too adorable 😊💕
    najee35 najee35 16-17, M 3 Responses Jul 2

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    The moment I'm with my little baby cousins &

    his cuties friends they say the funniest words !!
    billyaldo billyaldo 22-25, M Aug 19

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    Lack Of Enthusiasm ?

    Last night , while cooking dinner, I had this conversation with my 12 year old son , who is in his first year of High School. My son is sitting on the couch with his IPod , and my Husband is standing in the kitchen . Me : So T , what did you learn at school today...
    happinesswinsxx happinesswinsxx 41-45, F 10 Responses Jul 25, 2013

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    I love when little kids say things

    because they say nothing but the truth and it's cute no matter what they say
    Marielights Marielights 18-21, F 3 Responses Aug 19

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    Perfect Solution...

    A good friend was recently sharing some memories from her second pregnancy; she also has a son, who was three at the time. One day near the end of her pregnancy, the baby was very, very active, and she was trying to cope with her discomfort without alarming the little boy...
    bijouxbroussard bijouxbroussard 46-50, F 9 Responses Jun 4, 2012

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    A few months ago I picked up my grandaughter at

    school. And she insisted we had to go to the nearby kids ball pool. I just said No but she kept telling me We must go. Finally I got serious and asked her the reason for all that fuss. And she said : "i have to book it now because I want to celebrate my wedding there when I grow...
    pacodad pacodad 70+, M 3 Responses Jun 27

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    As a little boy climbed onto Santa's lap,

    Santa asked the usual, "And what would you like for Christmas?" The child stared at him open mouthed and horrified for a minute, then gasped, "Didn't you get my E-mail?"
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 4 Responses Mar 19

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    Out Of The Mouths Of Babes....

    Our three boys, 9, 6, and 4 were playing the Wii Party game tonight. Our littlest guy, Dillon, wedged his way between my wife and I on the couch while he was playing.  A few minutes later, I watch as he nuzzles up against his Mommy, still playing the Wii.  A few more minutes...
    ambroseguy80 ambroseguy80 46-50, M 12 Responses Apr 25, 2013

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    Knowing Everything "Mommy,

    you know everything," six-year old Blueberry told me one day. "No, I don't," I reply. "What is 2 + 3?" she asks. "Five." "What is 3 + 3?" "Six," I answer. "See? You know everything!" she exclaims.
    mareliberum mareliberum 26-30 2 Responses Jul 3

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