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I Think Kids Say the Darndest Things

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 131 People

    Freaking people out is cool!

    This past weekend I went to Colorado to visit my uncle, and he has a six year old granddaughter who lives with him. She totally creeped him out. There was a tornado warning, and when the tornado sirens came on my cousin said that everybody was going to disappear. My uncle...
    LivvieDestroyerofSocks LivvieDestroyerofSocks 18-21, F 1 Response Jun 10

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    My Mini Is So Freakin Funny!

    My 3 year old is so freaking funny! She is way to smart for her own good, and the things that come out of her mouth are priceless: December 7, 2012 Just picked up Shawn's friend Aiden. This was their convo as we left: Aiden: bye mom Shawna: yep say goodbye to your mom and...
    ebnyflower ebnyflower 22-25, F 1 Response Jan 2, 2013

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    Kids Say The Darnest Things

    This story has adult content. A true experience though When I was posted to the Middle East, I bought a Toyota Landcruiser for my daily use. I bought the top of the range vehicle and was very proud to own my first 4 wheel drive. I called my car *Complete Luxury Interior Truck...
    deleted deleted 26-30 7 Responses Oct 10, 2009

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    I'll Work On It, Ok?

    My 6yr old was at the table the other night, rambling on and on as kids do, my husband and I partially collecting bits of info, while trying to have our own conversation (yeah, right!) He's been getting frustrated with me b/c I cannot possibly retain every single sentence that...
    Imaginemolly Imaginemolly 26-30, F 2 Responses Jun 10, 2011

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    My Son Did Not Say This But Did It! Accidental Exposure!

    When he was about 7 months old, my son really embarrassed his Daddy. My wife had  breast fed little Mike from birth. She would pump extra milk for out on the town events. On Sunday in church, he is really acting up, my wife was out of town on business. So before services start...
    abigguy4u abigguy4u 56-60, M 9 Responses Jun 14, 2011

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    What?

    My daughter came up to me one day and asked if i was a **** in high school. I don't even think she really knew what the word meant. I said no of course then my son chimed in with "I don't care if mommy was a **** I still love her!" LOL
    howsab howsab 31-35, F Jul 13, 2011

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    After the christening of his baby brother in

    church, Jason sobbed all the way home in the back seat of the car. His father asked him three times what was wrong. Finally, the boy replied, "That preacher said he wanted us brought up in a Christian home and I wanted to stay with you guys."
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Apr 13

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    What Do You Say To That?

    Most of my stories are religion based. I will apologize ahead for that, not because I am ashamed of my views but because my views are pretty radical and I recognize that many people do not share my views.When my middle daughter was very small I was teaching my young family to...
    btrflysfound btrflysfound 41-45 Sep 8, 2011

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    My Precious Big Son

    I did not realize at that time that my first son used to observe me intently. He was not attending Preschool at the time, which he started at 2 1/2 years ... but was a little over 2. He has always been a bit chatty. As a matter of fact he talked before he walked. This particular...
    chocomint chocomint 51-55, F Feb 13, 2013

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    Turning 9

    My daughter turned 9, and she informed me that now, she has to put her 8 year old life behind her and start living her 9 year old life. When asked what that entailed, she said, I don't know!  I haven't lived it yet!Love her to death! lol
    ANewCreation4Him ANewCreation4Him 36-40, F 3 Responses Aug 3, 2013

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    Santa Is OLD

    My 9 year old daughter and I were walking in the store last week, and she must have been thinking Christmas. She brought up her Christmas dress last year (was a Mrs. Claus style), and told me Santa loved it.  I said how do you know that? She said because it reminded him of Mrs...
    ANewCreation4Him ANewCreation4Him 36-40, F Oct 14, 2013

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    My Nephew

    "Washing machines don't die, that's what people do!"
    AltF4 AltF4 22-25, M 1 Response Jul 21, 2013

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    "ain't That Some S***!"

    I was visiting one of the girls I grew up with, one with more children than what I can handle for more than a couple hours at a time. The other day when I popped in she had some extras running around, and apparently kool-aid was now in short supply. The eldest daughter came in...
    StillMeJustDifferent StillMeJustDifferent 31-35 Jul 6, 2011

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    My Face Is Red More Than It Is White...

    So the title pretty much says it, but it is either red from embarrassment, laughing, or because I am absolutely ready to explode. I am mommy to an 11 year old and 4 year old and they keep me on my toes, you can see some of their funny antics over on my blog, and I am sure I will...
    hisbetterhalf143 hisbetterhalf143 31-35, F May 15, 2013

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    Fun In Church

    When my oldest was about 2.5 yrs old, he learned to say words, and form sentences. He was very proud of his new found abilities. one day in church, the Pastor is talking and my son says "daddy, I know what the F word is" I am panic stricken, I try to divert his thought, no good...
    abigguy4u abigguy4u 56-60, M 7 Responses Jun 9, 2011

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    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Jul 4, 2011

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    Children Say It Bluntly

    Naturally children are very honest sometimes what they say is embarrassing when they repeat what they hear. But most of the time its sweet, and enjoying. One day i was angry with a friend, and i said she isn't very nice, and i don't know if i like her. The next day that friend...
    peachfuzz68 peachfuzz68 41-45, F Mar 1, 2012

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    Two Things Necessary!

    My niece's five year old daughter never ceases to amaze me. She wanted to spend the Easter vacation with me and kept insisting that she should. For the final time I told her that it has already been arranged and that she HAS to go to her dad's house (parents separated). Her...
    chocomint chocomint 51-55, F May 13, 2013

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    According To My 3 Year Old

    Boys have wienies, Girls have hair!
    LG76 LG76 36-40, F 2 Responses Jan 30, 2012

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    You Speak Funny!

    I remembered this today!!! I was in North Carolina a few years ago and a little girl, after listening to me speak, innocently enquired, "What's wrong with you?" I promptly replied, "Nothing." She insisted, "Yes ... something is wrong with you. You speak funny." It was...
    chocomint chocomint 51-55, F 6 Responses Apr 12, 2013

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    Too Much Time Spent Playing, "plants Vs. Zombies"

    If you are religious, you may want to stop reading this now..... My daughter turned 8 a few days ago. Last week she was asking me who the first human being was. I have explained to her in the past the process of evolution, and the difficulty of identifying the first person...
    accomplice accomplice 41-45, M Aug 18, 2011

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    YOU Never Know What a Child Will Say Next

    Kids Say  The Darndest Things! ThESE ARE STORIES OF ALL THE KIDS IN MY FAMILY.  ...
    JUSTENTICEME JUSTENTICEME 31-35, F 7 Responses May 10, 2009

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    Christmas

    One never knows the value of Christmas until they are able to see it through a 9 year old's mind. Yesterday, my daughter said to me, "Mom, Christmas is pretty close, isn't it?  Thinking it's still a quarter year away, I said, "well, there's still a ways to go."  Looking...
    ANewCreation4Him ANewCreation4Him 36-40, F 2 Responses Sep 21, 2013

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    YOU Never Know What a Child Will Say Next

    Kids Say  The Darndest Things! ThESE ARE STORIES OF ALL THE KIDS IN MY FAMILY.  ...
    JUSTENTICEME JUSTENTICEME 31-35, F 2 Responses May 10, 2009

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    Kids Say And Do The Darndest Things Lol!

    My daughter has a lovely fabric head band on and a blanket as a cape, it's sometimes hard to understand her and my son thought that she just said that she needs a beer you silly!!! Lol, then she corrected him and said no I need my gear and she turned around with a stuffed...
    Jesusfoundme Jesusfoundme 31-35, F 3 Responses Feb 27, 2010

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    Daddy's Language

    I feel a tap on my shoulder.  I turn around to see it's Mrs. V, my daughter's French teacher.  She exclaims..."Your daughter is adorable!"  "Oh boy, what did she do?" I ask sarcastically.  Mrs. V knows that my daughter is bi-racial, so she asked her if there was another...
    Mahal1023 Mahal1023 46-50, F 2 Responses Jul 19, 2011

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    My Son Has A Question

    The other day my ten year old son just come up to me and asks "Mom what does **** in your pants mean?" I couldn't help but laugh hysterically. He had no idea what was so funny. I had no idea what to say to him. So he says "Does it mean like you pissed in your pants or something...
    howsab howsab 31-35, F Sep 17, 2012

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    A Little Bit Of Each

    A few days ago my 8 year old asked if she was like me. I told her yes.  She has all the best parts of me and all the best parts of her daddy in her.  She doesn't know the facts of life quite yet- but you can see her brain working when she makes comments like these:"Ooooohhh...
    ANewCreation4Him ANewCreation4Him 36-40, F 1 Response Nov 23, 2012

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    First Day Back At School

      A 2nd grade class was walking thru the lobby & 2 boys was making loud quacking noises.  The school secretary reminded them they have to be quiet in the lobby.  Their teacher now embarrased asked "were you making quacking noises in the lobby?" One boy said "it wasn't me...
    dare2love dare2love 56-60, F 2 Responses Oct 21, 2011

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    Related Experiences

    I love when little kids say things because they say nothing but the truth and it's cute no matter what they say
    Marielights Marielights 18-21, F 3 Responses 1 day ago

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    Look, a classmate! When ten-year old Raspberry was recovering from her chicken pox, we allowed her to have a joy ride along with her sister, six-year old Blueberry. Raspberry...
    mareliberum mareliberum 26-30 2 Responses Aug 2

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    They don't judge and quickly say things without thinking about it, I just wish everybody could be like this. A world that didn't judge would be such a better place. People wouldn't...
    mxnica mxnica 13-15, F 5 Responses Aug 8

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    Blueberry's Oath I made six-year old Blueberry repeat this after me, "I will not buy toys." She looks at me and says, "I will not buy t-to-towels!" "No," I say. "It's 'I will...
    mareliberum mareliberum 26-30 1 Response Aug 2

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    My precious Amanda said she's ugly, fst nosey btch and said say the word I'll scratch her eyes out for what she did to you. ..haaaahaaa
    thatpartisfinished70 thatpartisfinished70 46-50, F 1 Response Jul 24

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    Little Emma returned from the birthday party and her mother asked: “Did you say ‘thank you’?” “Well, no,” replied the little girl. “Y’see, the girl ahead of me...
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Jul 28

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    I was eating lunch with some friends today and noticed this little girl in a table across from us kept staring at me. I thought I was just being paranoid until I saw her tug on her...
    SolitarySummer SolitarySummer 22-25, F 2 Responses a week ago

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    The moment I'm with my little baby cousins & his cuties friends they say the funniest words !!
    billyaldo billyaldo 22-25, M 1 day ago

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    Tonight while shopping at the mall with my daughter and a friend, we noticed it was getting late, yet I still had a few stops I wanted to make. I said, "We better hurry if we want...
    Unjusted Unjusted 36-40, F 15 hrs ago

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    My wife, my two year old son and I visited our friends. They had become parents a little more than three months ago of a sweet little daughter named Michelle. Previously...
    Michael91142 Michael91142 70+, M 6 Responses Jul 29

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    My cousin is pregnant with twins (one boy, one girl) she's due to give birth at some point in the next few weeks and she wants to decide on names. Are there any suitable...
    projectgwyn101 projectgwyn101 16-17, M 3 Responses Aug 1

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    My 8 year old granddaughter asked me if I lived when it was black and white. :) She actually thinks because she sees black and white tv shows or movies, that those days were...
    honeysuckle23 honeysuckle23 46-50, F 4 Responses Aug 2

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    It was the 60th birthday of my mother in law Maria. On this occasion, we celebrated with her ​​and her husband in their home. Maria had made much trouble with lunch for her...
    Michael91142 Michael91142 70+, M 3 Responses Aug 12

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    That awkward but funny moment when a little 4-5 year old tells you they have a bf/gf. Hahahahaha.
    Faithlovee Faithlovee 16-17, F 1 Response Jul 22

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    I just heard a little girl tell a boy "You're under arrest for having no respect for ninjas" There is hope for our future yet.
    PinkP0werRanger PinkP0werRanger 26-30, F 2 Responses Jul 23

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    Grade Reactions Ten-year old Raspberry comes home, giddy with joy. She presents her test paper with four mistakes and exclaims happily, "I only got four mistakes!" Six-year old...
    mareliberum mareliberum 26-30 3 Responses Jul 25

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    My son was almost 5 years old, when he asked me what a mnemonic is. In order that the reader in the English-speaking countries understand better the humor of the later following...
    Michael91142 Michael91142 70+, M 3 Responses Jul 25

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    "If there's a chicken pox, is there a frog pox?" - asked by six-year old Blueberry
    mareliberum mareliberum 26-30 2 Responses Jul 26

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    Mary's fourth grade homework assignment was to make sentences using the words in her spelling list, along with the definition. Coming across the word "frugal" in the list, she...
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Jul 26

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    Due to a power outage, only one paramedic responded to the call of a woman unexpectedly giving childbirth at her home. The house was very dark (with the electric disabled), so the...
    karmameter karmameter 36-40, M 1 Response Jul 28

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    Dont let me down....https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bZhd4Fn7Vqs Hey Jude.........https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=epHa5rFXgf0 :-)
    karmameter karmameter 36-40, M 1 Response Aug 5

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