I Think Kids Say the Darndest Things

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 166 People

    Driving down the road

    and this is the conversation with my 4yr old. Kid: mom can we go to the car washer? Me: the car wash? Kid: no the car washer! Me: oh ok... Kid: these windows are filthy mom! Look at them! So judgmental 😒
    deleted deleted
    Jun 15, 2015

    Fun In Church

    When my oldest was about 2.5 yrs old, he learned to say words, and form sentences. He was very proud of his new found abilities. one day in church, the Pastor is talking and my son says "daddy, I know what the F word is" I am panic stricken, I try to divert his thought, no good...
    dumbnugly dumbnugly
    56-60, M
    7 Responses Jun 9, 2011

    So my kid is going on

    and on chatting away about something. I had tuned him out, so then I decided to tune back in and he says, "he can even juggle my balls.." I'm like whoa wait what the hell?!!? He was talking about a clown and he showed me the balls he was talking about and they aren't attached to...
    deleted deleted
    1 Response Dec 7, 2014

    Santa Is OLD

    My 9 year old daughter and I were walking in the store last week, and she must have been thinking Christmas. She brought up her Christmas dress last year (was a Mrs. Claus style), and told me Santa loved it.  I said how do you know that? She said because it reminded him of Mrs...
    ANewCreation4Him ANewCreation4Him
    36-40, F
    Oct 14, 2013

    Letter to God A Sunday school teacher

    challenged her children to take some time on Sunday afternoon to write a letter to God. They were to bring back their letter the following Sunday. One little boy wrote, “Dear God, We had a good time at church today. Wish you could have been here.”
    jml2000 jml2000
    61-65, M
    1 Response Feb 21, 2015

    Too Much Time Spent Playing, "plants Vs. Zombies"

    If you are religious, you may want to stop reading this now..... My daughter turned 8 a few days ago. Last week she was asking me who the first human being was. I have explained to her in the past the process of evolution, and the difficulty of identifying the first person...
    accomplice accomplice
    46-50, M
    Aug 18, 2011

    YOU Never Know What a Child Will Say Next

    Kids Say  The Darndest Things! ThESE ARE STORIES OF ALL THE KIDS IN MY FAMILY.  ...
    31-35, F
    7 Responses May 10, 2009

    I'll Work On It, Ok?

    My 6yr old was at the table the other night, rambling on and on as kids do, my husband and I partially collecting bits of info, while trying to have our own conversation (yeah, right!) He's been getting frustrated with me b/c I cannot possibly retain every single sentence that...
    Imaginemolly Imaginemolly
    26-30, F
    2 Responses Jun 10, 2011

    A Little Bit Of Each

    A few days ago my 8 year old asked if she was like me. I told her yes.  She has all the best parts of me and all the best parts of her daddy in her.  She doesn't know the facts of life quite yet- but you can see her brain working when she makes comments like these:"Ooooohhh...
    ANewCreation4Him ANewCreation4Him
    36-40, F
    1 Response Nov 23, 2012

    Children Say It Bluntly

    Naturally children are very honest sometimes what they say is embarrassing when they repeat what they hear. But most of the time its sweet, and enjoying. One day i was angry with a friend, and i said she isn't very nice, and i don't know if i like her. The next day that friend...
    peachfuzz68 peachfuzz68
    41-45, F
    Mar 1, 2012

    I'd had a pretty hectic day with my

    four-year-old. When bed- time finally came, I laid down the law: "We're putting on your p.j.s, brushing your teeth, and reading ONE book. Then it's lights out!" Her arms went around my neck in a gentle embrace, and she said, "We learned in Sunday school about little boys and...
    jml2000 jml2000
    61-65, M
    1 Response Jun 12, 2015

    Baking and decorating cookie event with a bunch

    of children ages 4-6 yrs old Enjoying their company they are very excited, happy and playful... Me: (talk to a little boy) so do you love decorating cookies Little Boy: yes Me:Do you want to be a baker someday and make more sweets and cake.... Little Boy: Nah I want to be a...
    simplyme6791 simplyme6791
    31-35, F
    Feb 13, 2016

    I read the following online

    and thought I would share it: A frail old man went to live with his son, daughter-in- law, and four-year old grandson. The old man’s hands trembled, his eyesight was blurred, and his step faltered. The family ate together at the table. But the elderly grandfather’ s shaky...
    chocomint chocomint
    51-55, F
    2 Responses Sep 15, 2015

    YOU Never Know What a Child Will Say Next

    Kids Say  The Darndest Things! ThESE ARE STORIES OF ALL THE KIDS IN MY FAMILY.  ...
    31-35, F
    2 Responses May 10, 2009

    Turning 9

    My daughter turned 9, and she informed me that now, she has to put her 8 year old life behind her and start living her 9 year old life. When asked what that entailed, she said, I don't know!  I haven't lived it yet!Love her to death! lol
    ANewCreation4Him ANewCreation4Him
    36-40, F
    2 Responses Aug 3, 2013


    My daughter came up to me one day and asked if i was a **** in high school. I don't even think she really knew what the word meant. I said no of course then my son chimed in with "I don't care if mommy was a **** I still love her!" LOL
    howsab howsab
    31-35, F
    Jul 13, 2011

    First Day Back At School

      A 2nd grade class was walking thru the lobby & 2 boys was making loud quacking noises.  The school secretary reminded them they have to be quiet in the lobby.  Their teacher now embarrased asked "were you making quacking noises in the lobby?" One boy said "it wasn't me...
    dare2love dare2love
    56-60, F
    2 Responses Oct 21, 2011
    deleted deleted
    2 Responses Jul 4, 2011

    What Do You Say To That?

    Most of my stories are religion based. I will apologize ahead for that, not because I am ashamed of my views but because my views are pretty radical and I recognize that many people do not share my views.When my middle daughter was very small I was teaching my young family to...
    btrflysfound btrflysfound
    Sep 8, 2011

    Two Things Necessary!

    My niece's five year old daughter never ceases to amaze me. She wanted to spend the Easter vacation with me and kept insisting that she should. For the final time I told her that it has already been arranged and that she HAS to go to her dad's house (parents separated). Her...
    chocomint chocomint
    51-55, F
    May 13, 2013

    Kids Say And Do The Darndest Things Lol!

    My daughter has a lovely fabric head band on and a blanket as a cape, it's sometimes hard to understand her and my son thought that she just said that she needs a beer you silly!!! Lol, then she corrected him and said no I need my gear and she turned around with a stuffed...
    SealedWithAKisss SealedWithAKisss
    36-40, F
    3 Responses Feb 27, 2010

    TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math

    multiplication on the floor? JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.
    jml2000 jml2000
    61-65, M
    2 Responses Sep 3, 2014

    My Precious Big Son

    I did not realize at that time that my first son used to observe me intently. He was not attending Preschool at the time, which he started at 2 1/2 years ... but was a little over 2. He has always been a bit chatty. As a matter of fact he talked before he walked. This particular...
    chocomint chocomint
    51-55, F
    Feb 13, 2013

    "ain't That Some S***!"

    I was visiting one of the girls I grew up with, one with more children than what I can handle for more than a couple hours at a time. The other day when I popped in she had some extras running around, and apparently kool-aid was now in short supply. The eldest daughter came in...
    StillMeJustDifferent StillMeJustDifferent
    Jul 6, 2011


    One never knows the value of Christmas until they are able to see it through a 9 year old's mind. Yesterday, my daughter said to me, "Mom, Christmas is pretty close, isn't it?  Thinking it's still a quarter year away, I said, "well, there's still a ways to go."  Looking...
    ANewCreation4Him ANewCreation4Him
    36-40, F
    1 Response Sep 21, 2013

    According To My 3 Year Old

    Boys have wienies, Girls have hair!
    LG76 LG76
    36-40, F
    1 Response Jan 30, 2012

    Who says grocery shopping can’t be fun

    and amusing? Earlier, I wrote of an encounter I had with a little girl while grocery shopping. Today, I ran into another young girl at the store who had something interesting to say. I was walking down one of the aisles as a young woman I had never seen before was approaching...
    Rutterman Rutterman
    41-45, M
    2 Responses Jan 25, 2016

    This Is When I realize It's Getting Out Of Hand.

    I'm Laying In Bed And My Eyes Are Closed. My (2 year old) Little Brother Is Next To Me Playing Under The Blankets. And I Can Tell He Pokes His Head Out. And Then He Says "You Sleep, Or Nah?" What....??? I Don't Know What The Hell Is Going On But He's Watching Dora And Spongebob...
    ChocolateCloud ChocolateCloud
    18-21, F
    Nov 15, 2014

    My Mini Is So Freakin Funny!

    My 3 year old is so freaking funny! She is way to smart for her own good, and the things that come out of her mouth are priceless: December 7, 2012 Just picked up Shawn's friend Aiden. This was their convo as we left: Aiden: bye mom Shawna: yep say goodbye to your mom and...
    ebnyflower ebnyflower
    22-25, F
    Jan 2, 2013

    You Speak Funny!

    I remembered this today!!! I was in North Carolina a few years ago and a little girl, after listening to me speak, innocently enquired, "What's wrong with you?" I promptly replied, "Nothing." She insisted, "Yes ... something is wrong with you. You speak funny." It was...
    chocomint chocomint
    51-55, F
    5 Responses Apr 12, 2013

    My Son Did Not Say This But Did It! Accidental Exposure!

    When he was about 7 months old, my son really embarrassed his Daddy. My wife had  breast fed little Mike from birth. She would pump extra milk for out on the town events. On Sunday in church, he is really acting up, my wife was out of town on business. So before services start...
    dumbnugly dumbnugly
    56-60, M
    9 Responses Jun 14, 2011

    Kids Say The Darnest Things

    This story has adult content. A true experience though When I was posted to the Middle East, I bought a Toyota Landcruiser for my daily use. I bought the top of the range vehicle and was very proud to own my first 4 wheel drive. I called my car *Complete Luxury Interior Truck...
    deleted deleted
    5 Responses Oct 10, 2009

    My Face Is Red More Than It Is White...

    So the title pretty much says it, but it is either red from embarrassment, laughing, or because I am absolutely ready to explode. I am mommy to an 11 year old and 4 year old and they keep me on my toes, you can see some of their funny antics over on my blog, and I am sure I will...
    hisbetterhalf143 hisbetterhalf143
    31-35, F
    May 15, 2013

    After the christening of his baby brother in

    church, Jason sobbed all the way home in the back seat of the car. His father asked him three times what was wrong. Finally, the boy replied, "That preacher said he wanted us brought up in a Christian home and I wanted to stay with you guys."
    jml2000 jml2000
    61-65, M
    1 Response Apr 13, 2014

    My daughter sure showed me what a back seat

    driver I am! On our way to the mall today, I stopped short at a red light causing the car to jolt. As soon as I jerked my 3 year old in the back seat hollered Daaaaave. Not sure why she had called my husband’s name, I asked her why she had said what she did. “That’s...
    jml2000 jml2000
    61-65, M
    1 Response Dec 31, 2014
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