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I Think Kids Say the Darndest Things

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 154 People

    My Son Did Not Say This But Did It! Accidental Exposure!

    When he was about 7 months old, my son really embarrassed his Daddy. My wife had  breast fed little Mike from birth. She would pump extra milk for out on the town events. On Sunday in church, he is really acting up, my wife was out of town on business. So before services start...
    dumbnugly dumbnugly 56-60, M 9 Responses Jun 14, 2011

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    Fun In Church

    When my oldest was about 2.5 yrs old, he learned to say words, and form sentences. He was very proud of his new found abilities. one day in church, the Pastor is talking and my son says "daddy, I know what the F word is" I am panic stricken, I try to divert his thought, no good...
    dumbnugly dumbnugly 56-60, M 7 Responses Jun 9, 2011

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    Turning 9

    My daughter turned 9, and she informed me that now, she has to put her 8 year old life behind her and start living her 9 year old life. When asked what that entailed, she said, I don't know!  I haven't lived it yet!Love her to death! lol
    ANewCreation4Him ANewCreation4Him 36-40, F 2 Responses Aug 3, 2013

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    What Do You Say To That?

    Most of my stories are religion based. I will apologize ahead for that, not because I am ashamed of my views but because my views are pretty radical and I recognize that many people do not share my views.When my middle daughter was very small I was teaching my young family to...
    btrflysfound btrflysfound 41-45 Sep 8, 2011

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    Daddy's Language

    I feel a tap on my shoulder.  I turn around to see it's Mrs. V, my daughter's French teacher.  She exclaims..."Your daughter is adorable!"  "Oh boy, what did she do?" I ask sarcastically.  Mrs. V knows that my daughter is bi-racial, so she asked her if there was another...
    Mahal1023 Mahal1023 46-50, F 2 Responses Jul 19, 2011

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    You Speak Funny!

    I remembered this today!!! I was in North Carolina a few years ago and a little girl, after listening to me speak, innocently enquired, "What's wrong with you?" I promptly replied, "Nothing." She insisted, "Yes ... something is wrong with you. You speak funny." It was...
    chocomint chocomint 51-55, F 7 Responses Apr 12, 2013

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    A Little Bit Of Each

    A few days ago my 8 year old asked if she was like me. I told her yes.  She has all the best parts of me and all the best parts of her daddy in her.  She doesn't know the facts of life quite yet- but you can see her brain working when she makes comments like these:"Ooooohhh...
    ANewCreation4Him ANewCreation4Him 36-40, F 1 Response Nov 23, 2012

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    Children Say It Bluntly

    Naturally children are very honest sometimes what they say is embarrassing when they repeat what they hear. But most of the time its sweet, and enjoying. One day i was angry with a friend, and i said she isn't very nice, and i don't know if i like her. The next day that friend...
    peachfuzz68 peachfuzz68 41-45, F Mar 1, 2012

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    My Mini Is So Freakin Funny!

    My 3 year old is so freaking funny! She is way to smart for her own good, and the things that come out of her mouth are priceless: December 7, 2012 Just picked up Shawn's friend Aiden. This was their convo as we left: Aiden: bye mom Shawna: yep say goodbye to your mom and...
    ebnyflower ebnyflower 22-25, F 1 Response Jan 2, 2013

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    Two Things Necessary!

    My niece's five year old daughter never ceases to amaze me. She wanted to spend the Easter vacation with me and kept insisting that she should. For the final time I told her that it has already been arranged and that she HAS to go to her dad's house (parents separated). Her...
    chocomint chocomint 51-55, F May 13, 2013

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    I'll Work On It, Ok?

    My 6yr old was at the table the other night, rambling on and on as kids do, my husband and I partially collecting bits of info, while trying to have our own conversation (yeah, right!) He's been getting frustrated with me b/c I cannot possibly retain every single sentence that...
    Imaginemolly Imaginemolly 26-30, F 2 Responses Jun 10, 2011

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    Christmas

    One never knows the value of Christmas until they are able to see it through a 9 year old's mind. Yesterday, my daughter said to me, "Mom, Christmas is pretty close, isn't it?  Thinking it's still a quarter year away, I said, "well, there's still a ways to go."  Looking...
    ANewCreation4Him ANewCreation4Him 36-40, F 2 Responses Sep 21, 2013

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    After the christening of his baby brother in

    church, Jason sobbed all the way home in the back seat of the car. His father asked him three times what was wrong. Finally, the boy replied, "That preacher said he wanted us brought up in a Christian home and I wanted to stay with you guys."
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Apr 13, 2014

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    So my kid is going on

    and on chatting away about something. I had tuned him out, so then I decided to tune back in and he says, "he can even juggle my balls.." I'm like whoa wait what the hell?!!? He was talking about a clown and he showed me the balls he was talking about and they aren't attached to...
    Notadickjusthonest Notadickjusthonest 26-30, F 3 Responses Dec 7, 2014

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    My Face Is Red More Than It Is White...

    So the title pretty much says it, but it is either red from embarrassment, laughing, or because I am absolutely ready to explode. I am mommy to an 11 year old and 4 year old and they keep me on my toes, you can see some of their funny antics over on my blog, and I am sure I will...
    hisbetterhalf143 hisbetterhalf143 31-35, F May 15, 2013

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    Kids Say The Darnest Things

    This story has adult content. A true experience though When I was posted to the Middle East, I bought a Toyota Landcruiser for my daily use. I bought the top of the range vehicle and was very proud to own my first 4 wheel drive. I called my car *Complete Luxury Interior Truck...
    deleted deleted 26-30 5 Responses Oct 10, 2009

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    Too Much Time Spent Playing, "plants Vs. Zombies"

    If you are religious, you may want to stop reading this now..... My daughter turned 8 a few days ago. Last week she was asking me who the first human being was. I have explained to her in the past the process of evolution, and the difficulty of identifying the first person...
    accomplice accomplice 46-50, M Aug 18, 2011

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    "ain't That Some S***!"

    I was visiting one of the girls I grew up with, one with more children than what I can handle for more than a couple hours at a time. The other day when I popped in she had some extras running around, and apparently kool-aid was now in short supply. The eldest daughter came in...
    StillMeJustDifferent StillMeJustDifferent 31-35 Jul 6, 2011

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    YOU Never Know What a Child Will Say Next

    Kids Say  The Darndest Things! ThESE ARE STORIES OF ALL THE KIDS IN MY FAMILY.  ...
    JUSTENTICEME JUSTENTICEME 31-35, F 7 Responses May 10, 2009

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    Letter to God A Sunday school teacher

    challenged her children to take some time on Sunday afternoon to write a letter to God. They were to bring back their letter the following Sunday. One little boy wrote, “Dear God, We had a good time at church today. Wish you could have been here.”
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Feb 21

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    This Is When I realize It's Getting Out Of Hand.

    I'm Laying In Bed And My Eyes Are Closed. My (2 year old) Little Brother Is Next To Me Playing Under The Blankets. And I Can Tell He Pokes His Head Out. And Then He Says "You Sleep, Or Nah?" What....??? I Don't Know What The Hell Is Going On But He's Watching Dora And Spongebob...
    Eriannaa Eriannaa 16-17, F Nov 15, 2014

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    TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math

    multiplication on the floor? JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Sep 3, 2014

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    My Precious Big Son

    I did not realize at that time that my first son used to observe me intently. He was not attending Preschool at the time, which he started at 2 1/2 years ... but was a little over 2. He has always been a bit chatty. As a matter of fact he talked before he walked. This particular...
    chocomint chocomint 51-55, F Feb 13, 2013

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    My Nephew

    "Washing machines don't die, that's what people do!"
    AltF4 AltF4 22-25, M 1 Response Jul 21, 2013

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    What?

    My daughter came up to me one day and asked if i was a **** in high school. I don't even think she really knew what the word meant. I said no of course then my son chimed in with "I don't care if mommy was a **** I still love her!" LOL
    howsab howsab 31-35, F Jul 13, 2011

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    Santa Is OLD

    My 9 year old daughter and I were walking in the store last week, and she must have been thinking Christmas. She brought up her Christmas dress last year (was a Mrs. Claus style), and told me Santa loved it.  I said how do you know that? She said because it reminded him of Mrs...
    ANewCreation4Him ANewCreation4Him 36-40, F Oct 14, 2013

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    My daughter sure showed me what a back seat

    driver I am! On our way to the mall today, I stopped short at a red light causing the car to jolt. As soon as I jerked my 3 year old in the back seat hollered Daaaaave. Not sure why she had called my husband’s name, I asked her why she had said what she did. “That’s...
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Dec 31, 2014

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    Kids Say And Do The Darndest Things Lol!

    My daughter has a lovely fabric head band on and a blanket as a cape, it's sometimes hard to understand her and my son thought that she just said that she needs a beer you silly!!! Lol, then she corrected him and said no I need my gear and she turned around with a stuffed...
    Jesusfoundme Jesusfoundme 31-35, F 3 Responses Feb 27, 2010

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    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Jul 4, 2011

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    YOU Never Know What a Child Will Say Next

    Kids Say  The Darndest Things! ThESE ARE STORIES OF ALL THE KIDS IN MY FAMILY.  ...
    JUSTENTICEME JUSTENTICEME 31-35, F 2 Responses May 10, 2009

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    According To My 3 Year Old

    Boys have wienies, Girls have hair!
    LG76 LG76 36-40, F 1 Response Jan 30, 2012

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    First Day Back At School

      A 2nd grade class was walking thru the lobby & 2 boys was making loud quacking noises.  The school secretary reminded them they have to be quiet in the lobby.  Their teacher now embarrased asked "were you making quacking noises in the lobby?" One boy said "it wasn't me...
    dare2love dare2love 56-60, F 2 Responses Oct 21, 2011

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    Related Experiences

    So I am driving home tonight after picking up my kids from school the windows are down and the music is up. We are all three singing along. Then my son asked me to turn the radio...
    NewBeginnings77 NewBeginnings77 31-35, F 8 Responses May 4

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    I had to take my kids to work with me today, (it was an interesting day to say the least) I turn to them before we get out of the car and say to them " You two better be on your...
    NewBeginnings77 NewBeginnings77 31-35, F 2 Responses 6 days ago

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    so I am going to the bathroom in my master bathroom, and I have 4 kids and a dog barge in on me, the kids ask, "what are you doing," I answer, "getting away from you." No place is...
    tiffsica tiffsica 41-45, F 1 Response May 7

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    I love when kids get in trouble. Kids always try to blame someone else. After they know they did it & got busted. Kids are funny.
    lorrena19 lorrena19 18-21, F 2 Responses 1 day ago

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    I can't even post what my son said without getting flagged even though Tweety Bird used to say it all the time but adults have dirty minds and this one is for kids?? not like the...
    sjroo00 sjroo00 31-35, F 2 days ago

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    Some times kids are really funny, Samantha wanted to get the sprinklers out this afternoon, I told her she didn't have a bikini, she has been with me at work all morning and this...
    jennylovesroses jennylovesroses 22-25, F 1 Response 5 days ago

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    My older son, who is 19 now, said the funniest things when he was little. He said he'd never get chicken pox because he didn't eat chicken. He told me I must feel like a cow when...
    hazeleyedangel68 hazeleyedangel68 46-50, F 2 days ago

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    Every time my 5 year old cousin comes over, the first thing she does is run over and lift the back of my shirt up and looks at my back. So today, I asked her why she kept doing...
    Waffl3s Waffl3s 13-15 5 Responses May 6

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    I think this is the most adorable video ever! :))) https://www.facebook.com/deepmoney/videos/660068214075657/
    Shamdee Shamdee 26-30 May 14

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    My husband taught my four year old son to tell me I'm so pretty when he's in trouble. Now he says it even when he's not in trouble :) :) :)
    Kaisa22 Kaisa22 26-30, F 3 Responses 6 days ago

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    I took my niece with me when I went to the dentist to get my teeth cleaned. She pulled a chair right up next to the dentist so she could see what the woman was doing. The dentist...
    tarazeigler2189 tarazeigler2189 26-30, F 3 Responses 23 hrs ago

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    Me: *locks door to get dressed* 3 year old sister: *runs to door and starts slamming herself into it* open the door! Open the door! Me: I don't wanna open the door!! 3 year...
    AnonSmiles AnonSmiles 16-17 1 Response May 4

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    The time spent with my daughter these past couple of weeks by POS now averages at 6-8 hours during a full week that includes the weekends. And the figure is even even less with my...
    koh72 koh72 41-45, M 3 Responses May 6