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I Think Kids Say the Darndest Things

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 135 People

    "ain't That Some S***!"

    I was visiting one of the girls I grew up with, one with more children than what I can handle for more than a couple hours at a time. The other day when I popped in she had some extras running around, and apparently kool-aid was now in short supply. The eldest daughter came in...
    StillMeJustDifferent StillMeJustDifferent 31-35 Jul 6, 2011

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    YOU Never Know What a Child Will Say Next

    Kids Say  The Darndest Things! ThESE ARE STORIES OF ALL THE KIDS IN MY FAMILY.  ...
    JUSTENTICEME JUSTENTICEME 31-35, F 2 Responses May 10, 2009

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    Kids Say And Do The Darndest Things Lol!

    My daughter has a lovely fabric head band on and a blanket as a cape, it's sometimes hard to understand her and my son thought that she just said that she needs a beer you silly!!! Lol, then she corrected him and said no I need my gear and she turned around with a stuffed...
    Jesusfoundme Jesusfoundme 31-35, F 3 Responses Feb 27, 2010

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    Two Things Necessary!

    My niece's five year old daughter never ceases to amaze me. She wanted to spend the Easter vacation with me and kept insisting that she should. For the final time I told her that it has already been arranged and that she HAS to go to her dad's house (parents separated). Her...
    chocomint chocomint 51-55, F May 13, 2013

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    What Do You Say To That?

    Most of my stories are religion based. I will apologize ahead for that, not because I am ashamed of my views but because my views are pretty radical and I recognize that many people do not share my views.When my middle daughter was very small I was teaching my young family to...
    btrflysfound btrflysfound 41-45 Sep 8, 2011

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    Daddy's Language

    I feel a tap on my shoulder.  I turn around to see it's Mrs. V, my daughter's French teacher.  She exclaims..."Your daughter is adorable!"  "Oh boy, what did she do?" I ask sarcastically.  Mrs. V knows that my daughter is bi-racial, so she asked her if there was another...
    Mahal1023 Mahal1023 46-50, F 2 Responses Jul 19, 2011

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    I'll Work On It, Ok?

    My 6yr old was at the table the other night, rambling on and on as kids do, my husband and I partially collecting bits of info, while trying to have our own conversation (yeah, right!) He's been getting frustrated with me b/c I cannot possibly retain every single sentence that...
    Imaginemolly Imaginemolly 26-30, F 2 Responses Jun 10, 2011

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    Christmas

    One never knows the value of Christmas until they are able to see it through a 9 year old's mind. Yesterday, my daughter said to me, "Mom, Christmas is pretty close, isn't it?  Thinking it's still a quarter year away, I said, "well, there's still a ways to go."  Looking...
    ANewCreation4Him ANewCreation4Him 36-40, F 2 Responses Sep 21, 2013

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    What?

    My daughter came up to me one day and asked if i was a **** in high school. I don't even think she really knew what the word meant. I said no of course then my son chimed in with "I don't care if mommy was a **** I still love her!" LOL
    howsab howsab 31-35, F Jul 13, 2011

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    According To My 3 Year Old

    Boys have wienies, Girls have hair!
    LG76 LG76 36-40, F 2 Responses Jan 30, 2012

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    TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math

    multiplication on the floor? JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Sep 3

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    YOU Never Know What a Child Will Say Next

    Kids Say  The Darndest Things! ThESE ARE STORIES OF ALL THE KIDS IN MY FAMILY.  ...
    JUSTENTICEME JUSTENTICEME 31-35, F 7 Responses May 10, 2009

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    My Son Has A Question

    The other day my ten year old son just come up to me and asks "Mom what does **** in your pants mean?" I couldn't help but laugh hysterically. He had no idea what was so funny. I had no idea what to say to him. So he says "Does it mean like you pissed in your pants or something...
    howsab howsab 31-35, F Sep 17, 2012

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    Kids Say The Darnest Things

    This story has adult content. A true experience though When I was posted to the Middle East, I bought a Toyota Landcruiser for my daily use. I bought the top of the range vehicle and was very proud to own my first 4 wheel drive. I called my car *Complete Luxury Interior Truck...
    deleted deleted 26-30 7 Responses Oct 10, 2009

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    Children Say It Bluntly

    Naturally children are very honest sometimes what they say is embarrassing when they repeat what they hear. But most of the time its sweet, and enjoying. One day i was angry with a friend, and i said she isn't very nice, and i don't know if i like her. The next day that friend...
    peachfuzz68 peachfuzz68 41-45, F Mar 1, 2012

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    My Face Is Red More Than It Is White...

    So the title pretty much says it, but it is either red from embarrassment, laughing, or because I am absolutely ready to explode. I am mommy to an 11 year old and 4 year old and they keep me on my toes, you can see some of their funny antics over on my blog, and I am sure I will...
    hisbetterhalf143 hisbetterhalf143 31-35, F May 15, 2013

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    First Day Back At School

      A 2nd grade class was walking thru the lobby & 2 boys was making loud quacking noises.  The school secretary reminded them they have to be quiet in the lobby.  Their teacher now embarrased asked "were you making quacking noises in the lobby?" One boy said "it wasn't me...
    dare2love dare2love 56-60, F 2 Responses Oct 21, 2011

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    After the christening of his baby brother in

    church, Jason sobbed all the way home in the back seat of the car. His father asked him three times what was wrong. Finally, the boy replied, "That preacher said he wanted us brought up in a Christian home and I wanted to stay with you guys."
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Apr 13

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    My Mini Is So Freakin Funny!

    My 3 year old is so freaking funny! She is way to smart for her own good, and the things that come out of her mouth are priceless: December 7, 2012 Just picked up Shawn's friend Aiden. This was their convo as we left: Aiden: bye mom Shawna: yep say goodbye to your mom and...
    ebnyflower ebnyflower 22-25, F 1 Response Jan 2, 2013

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    You Speak Funny!

    I remembered this today!!! I was in North Carolina a few years ago and a little girl, after listening to me speak, innocently enquired, "What's wrong with you?" I promptly replied, "Nothing." She insisted, "Yes ... something is wrong with you. You speak funny." It was...
    chocomint chocomint 51-55, F 7 Responses Apr 12, 2013

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    My Son Did Not Say This But Did It! Accidental Exposure!

    When he was about 7 months old, my son really embarrassed his Daddy. My wife had  breast fed little Mike from birth. She would pump extra milk for out on the town events. On Sunday in church, he is really acting up, my wife was out of town on business. So before services start...
    abigguy4u abigguy4u 56-60, M 9 Responses Jun 14, 2011

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    My Nephew

    "Washing machines don't die, that's what people do!"
    AltF4 AltF4 22-25, M 1 Response Jul 21, 2013

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    Too Much Time Spent Playing, "plants Vs. Zombies"

    If you are religious, you may want to stop reading this now..... My daughter turned 8 a few days ago. Last week she was asking me who the first human being was. I have explained to her in the past the process of evolution, and the difficulty of identifying the first person...
    accomplice accomplice 41-45, M Aug 18, 2011

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    Freaking people out is cool!

    This past weekend I went to Colorado to visit my uncle, and he has a six year old granddaughter who lives with him. She totally creeped him out. There was a tornado warning, and when the tornado sirens came on my cousin said that everybody was going to disappear. My uncle...
    LivvieDestroyerofSocks LivvieDestroyerofSocks 18-21, F 1 Response Jun 10

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    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Jul 4, 2011

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    Fun In Church

    When my oldest was about 2.5 yrs old, he learned to say words, and form sentences. He was very proud of his new found abilities. one day in church, the Pastor is talking and my son says "daddy, I know what the F word is" I am panic stricken, I try to divert his thought, no good...
    abigguy4u abigguy4u 56-60, M 7 Responses Jun 9, 2011

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    My Precious Big Son

    I did not realize at that time that my first son used to observe me intently. He was not attending Preschool at the time, which he started at 2 1/2 years ... but was a little over 2. He has always been a bit chatty. As a matter of fact he talked before he walked. This particular...
    chocomint chocomint 51-55, F Feb 13, 2013

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    Santa Is OLD

    My 9 year old daughter and I were walking in the store last week, and she must have been thinking Christmas. She brought up her Christmas dress last year (was a Mrs. Claus style), and told me Santa loved it.  I said how do you know that? She said because it reminded him of Mrs...
    ANewCreation4Him ANewCreation4Him 36-40, F Oct 14, 2013

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    A Little Bit Of Each

    A few days ago my 8 year old asked if she was like me. I told her yes.  She has all the best parts of me and all the best parts of her daddy in her.  She doesn't know the facts of life quite yet- but you can see her brain working when she makes comments like these:"Ooooohhh...
    ANewCreation4Him ANewCreation4Him 36-40, F 1 Response Nov 23, 2012

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    Turning 9

    My daughter turned 9, and she informed me that now, she has to put her 8 year old life behind her and start living her 9 year old life. When asked what that entailed, she said, I don't know!  I haven't lived it yet!Love her to death! lol
    ANewCreation4Him ANewCreation4Him 36-40, F 3 Responses Aug 3, 2013

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    Related Experiences

    According to my three children, I'm antique! 😟 I was in the living room with my kids... they were sitting down to watch TV, and I was logging into the computer. Chatting about...
    Unjusted Unjusted 36-40, F 3 Responses 3 days ago

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    Small children are just naturally the cutest things in the world and say some of the most funniest and coolest things out there and are just fun to be around
    Jacob1349035 Jacob1349035 16-17, M 2 Responses 1 day ago

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    I love kids, can't wait to have some of my own :)
    EBestest EBestest 18-21, M 1 Response Aug 25

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    i just love being arround them, they are spontaneous they live in the moment thats something i like about kids and something we should learn from them
    chillheart chillheart 22-25, M 2 Responses 1 day ago

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    Kids may annoy me... But they're just so darn cute. D: I someday, want one!
    zed2223 zed2223 18-21, M 2 Responses 15 hrs ago

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    My favorite (7 year old boy) asked me a question one day: "Do you love someone?" I knew what he meant and I immediately had my answer. "Yeah, my mom, my dad..." "Ohhhh." He...
    Dreamer32 Dreamer32 26-30, F 1 Response Sep 4

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    I worked with the 3-5 year olds at my church for four years, so I heard some pretty funny things. One girl's imaginative interpretation of the story of Jonah was my favorite. "That...
    RuthieAnja RuthieAnja 18-21, F 2 Responses 1 day ago

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    Me: "Hey Mark!" Little cousin: "If you were an animal you would be a cow" Like, literally, the CUTEST things!(-.-")
    UnicornsBlood UnicornsBlood 13-15, F 3 Responses 1 day ago

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    When my cousin was little she said she like "choppeded" (as in chop-ted) ice in her drink.
    OzarksTrucker OzarksTrucker 36-40, M Aug 25

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    I asked my 4 year old nephew to marry me and he laughed and said no... :(
    daisyjane17 daisyjane17 16-17, F 3 Responses Aug 25

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    Can you be my mom? No sweetie I can't. Why? Because you already have a mom and if she knew you asked me that she'd be upset. I want a step-mom. So you want your mom and dad to...
    Dreamer32 Dreamer32 26-30, F 1 Response Sep 6

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    9/11 is my favorite holiday.
    tibber4lyfe tibber4lyfe 13-15, F 2 Responses 1 day ago

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    As a kid, my favourite song at the age of 5 was Sk8r Boi by Avril Lavigne (at the time when she was insanely popular). I remember asking my mom what "fugly" meant...as her reply...
    drunkinlove23 drunkinlove23 18-21, F 2 Responses 1 day ago

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    Kid: I'm going to be a lawyer when I grow up Sister: Well I'M gonna be a tiger, cause tigers eat lawyers
    BeautifulCatastr0phe BeautifulCatastr0phe 16-17, F 2 Responses 13 hrs ago

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    Me and my 3 year old son Gavin's conversations Gavin:daddy i want to be you when i gwow up Me: oh really why Gavin: so i can dwive Me:what car do u want? Gavin:yours Me: my car is...
    jcadams98 jcadams98 16-17, M 5 hrs ago

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    I do say stupid things and I have lost friends because of the things I have said. But on top of that I ask stupid questions.
    Raptax231 Raptax231 18-21, M 1 Response 6 days ago

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    I get to do so many things I always wanted to do when I was a kid. I get to enjoy things and laugh at silly things that I was always too pretentious to enjoy before. I get to be...
    CameBackHaunted CameBackHaunted 26-30 Sep 11

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    KID: How old are you? ME: 39. KID: Does being 39 make you elderly??? ---------------------------- KID: You have a big belly ME: Big belly??? WHERE??? KID: There....(points at my...
    EyeDontGiveAHoot EyeDontGiveAHoot 36-40, F 1 Response Sep 8

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    Little kids have to wear life jackets 2 reasons why they should wear them 1st is if they are new at swimming 2second if kids don't wear them they could drown "
    painfulwedgiegirl painfulwedgiegirl 13-15, F 2 Responses Sep 7

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    And because of it I lost someone I genuinely loved. I thought I did anyway. We had the same humor, we thought the same about most things, he was so smart and nice and thoughtful...
    Qriztina Qriztina 13-15, F 1 Response Sep 10

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