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I Think Kids Say the Darndest Things

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 136 People

    Kids Say And Do The Darndest Things Lol!

    My daughter has a lovely fabric head band on and a blanket as a cape, it's sometimes hard to understand her and my son thought that she just said that she needs a beer you silly!!! Lol, then she corrected him and said no I need my gear and she turned around with a stuffed...
    Jesusfoundme Jesusfoundme 31-35, F 3 Responses Feb 27, 2010

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    My Face Is Red More Than It Is White...

    So the title pretty much says it, but it is either red from embarrassment, laughing, or because I am absolutely ready to explode. I am mommy to an 11 year old and 4 year old and they keep me on my toes, you can see some of their funny antics over on my blog, and I am sure I will...
    hisbetterhalf143 hisbetterhalf143 31-35, F May 15, 2013

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    My Precious Big Son

    I did not realize at that time that my first son used to observe me intently. He was not attending Preschool at the time, which he started at 2 1/2 years ... but was a little over 2. He has always been a bit chatty. As a matter of fact he talked before he walked. This particular...
    chocomint chocomint 51-55, F Feb 13, 2013

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    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Jul 4, 2011

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    My Nephew

    "Washing machines don't die, that's what people do!"
    AltF4 AltF4 22-25, M 1 Response Jul 21, 2013

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    YOU Never Know What a Child Will Say Next

    Kids Say  The Darndest Things! ThESE ARE STORIES OF ALL THE KIDS IN MY FAMILY.  ...
    JUSTENTICEME JUSTENTICEME 31-35, F 2 Responses May 10, 2009

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    A Little Bit Of Each

    A few days ago my 8 year old asked if she was like me. I told her yes.  She has all the best parts of me and all the best parts of her daddy in her.  She doesn't know the facts of life quite yet- but you can see her brain working when she makes comments like these:"Ooooohhh...
    ANewCreation4Him ANewCreation4Him 36-40, F 1 Response Nov 23, 2012

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    According To My 3 Year Old

    Boys have wienies, Girls have hair!
    LG76 LG76 36-40, F 2 Responses Jan 30, 2012

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    This Is When I realize It's Getting Out Of Hand.

    I'm Laying In Bed And My Eyes Are Closed. My (2 year old) Little Brother Is Next To Me Playing Under The Blankets. And I Can Tell He Pokes His Head Out. And Then He Says "You Sleep, Or Nah?" What....??? I Don't Know What The Hell Is Going On But He's Watching Dora And Spongebob...
    Eriannaa Eriannaa 13-15, F Nov 15

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    First Day Back At School

      A 2nd grade class was walking thru the lobby & 2 boys was making loud quacking noises.  The school secretary reminded them they have to be quiet in the lobby.  Their teacher now embarrased asked "were you making quacking noises in the lobby?" One boy said "it wasn't me...
    dare2love dare2love 56-60, F 2 Responses Oct 21, 2011

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    "ain't That Some S***!"

    I was visiting one of the girls I grew up with, one with more children than what I can handle for more than a couple hours at a time. The other day when I popped in she had some extras running around, and apparently kool-aid was now in short supply. The eldest daughter came in...
    StillMeJustDifferent StillMeJustDifferent 31-35 Jul 6, 2011

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    What Do You Say To That?

    Most of my stories are religion based. I will apologize ahead for that, not because I am ashamed of my views but because my views are pretty radical and I recognize that many people do not share my views.When my middle daughter was very small I was teaching my young family to...
    btrflysfound btrflysfound 41-45 Sep 8, 2011

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    Fun In Church

    When my oldest was about 2.5 yrs old, he learned to say words, and form sentences. He was very proud of his new found abilities. one day in church, the Pastor is talking and my son says "daddy, I know what the F word is" I am panic stricken, I try to divert his thought, no good...
    abigguy4u abigguy4u 56-60, M 7 Responses Jun 9, 2011

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    My Mini Is So Freakin Funny!

    My 3 year old is so freaking funny! She is way to smart for her own good, and the things that come out of her mouth are priceless: December 7, 2012 Just picked up Shawn's friend Aiden. This was their convo as we left: Aiden: bye mom Shawna: yep say goodbye to your mom and...
    ebnyflower ebnyflower 22-25, F 1 Response Jan 2, 2013

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    My Son Did Not Say This But Did It! Accidental Exposure!

    When he was about 7 months old, my son really embarrassed his Daddy. My wife had  breast fed little Mike from birth. She would pump extra milk for out on the town events. On Sunday in church, he is really acting up, my wife was out of town on business. So before services start...
    abigguy4u abigguy4u 56-60, M 9 Responses Jun 14, 2011

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    Freaking people out is cool!

    This past weekend I went to Colorado to visit my uncle, and he has a six year old granddaughter who lives with him. She totally creeped him out. There was a tornado warning, and when the tornado sirens came on my cousin said that everybody was going to disappear. My uncle...
    LivvieDestroyerofSocks LivvieDestroyerofSocks 18-21, F 1 Response Jun 10

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    After the christening of his baby brother in

    church, Jason sobbed all the way home in the back seat of the car. His father asked him three times what was wrong. Finally, the boy replied, "That preacher said he wanted us brought up in a Christian home and I wanted to stay with you guys."
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Apr 13

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    I'll Work On It, Ok?

    My 6yr old was at the table the other night, rambling on and on as kids do, my husband and I partially collecting bits of info, while trying to have our own conversation (yeah, right!) He's been getting frustrated with me b/c I cannot possibly retain every single sentence that...
    Imaginemolly Imaginemolly 26-30, F 2 Responses Jun 10, 2011

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    Christmas

    One never knows the value of Christmas until they are able to see it through a 9 year old's mind. Yesterday, my daughter said to me, "Mom, Christmas is pretty close, isn't it?  Thinking it's still a quarter year away, I said, "well, there's still a ways to go."  Looking...
    ANewCreation4Him ANewCreation4Him 36-40, F 2 Responses Sep 21, 2013

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    You Speak Funny!

    I remembered this today!!! I was in North Carolina a few years ago and a little girl, after listening to me speak, innocently enquired, "What's wrong with you?" I promptly replied, "Nothing." She insisted, "Yes ... something is wrong with you. You speak funny." It was...
    chocomint chocomint 51-55, F 7 Responses Apr 12, 2013

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    What?

    My daughter came up to me one day and asked if i was a **** in high school. I don't even think she really knew what the word meant. I said no of course then my son chimed in with "I don't care if mommy was a **** I still love her!" LOL
    howsab howsab 31-35, F Jul 13, 2011

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    Daddy's Language

    I feel a tap on my shoulder.  I turn around to see it's Mrs. V, my daughter's French teacher.  She exclaims..."Your daughter is adorable!"  "Oh boy, what did she do?" I ask sarcastically.  Mrs. V knows that my daughter is bi-racial, so she asked her if there was another...
    Mahal1023 Mahal1023 46-50, F 2 Responses Jul 19, 2011

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    Two Things Necessary!

    My niece's five year old daughter never ceases to amaze me. She wanted to spend the Easter vacation with me and kept insisting that she should. For the final time I told her that it has already been arranged and that she HAS to go to her dad's house (parents separated). Her...
    chocomint chocomint 51-55, F May 13, 2013

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    Santa Is OLD

    My 9 year old daughter and I were walking in the store last week, and she must have been thinking Christmas. She brought up her Christmas dress last year (was a Mrs. Claus style), and told me Santa loved it.  I said how do you know that? She said because it reminded him of Mrs...
    ANewCreation4Him ANewCreation4Him 36-40, F Oct 14, 2013

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    YOU Never Know What a Child Will Say Next

    Kids Say  The Darndest Things! ThESE ARE STORIES OF ALL THE KIDS IN MY FAMILY.  ...
    JUSTENTICEME JUSTENTICEME 31-35, F 7 Responses May 10, 2009

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    Kids Say The Darnest Things

    This story has adult content. A true experience though When I was posted to the Middle East, I bought a Toyota Landcruiser for my daily use. I bought the top of the range vehicle and was very proud to own my first 4 wheel drive. I called my car *Complete Luxury Interior Truck...
    deleted deleted 26-30 7 Responses Oct 10, 2009

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    Children Say It Bluntly

    Naturally children are very honest sometimes what they say is embarrassing when they repeat what they hear. But most of the time its sweet, and enjoying. One day i was angry with a friend, and i said she isn't very nice, and i don't know if i like her. The next day that friend...
    peachfuzz68 peachfuzz68 41-45, F Mar 1, 2012

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    My Son Has A Question

    The other day my ten year old son just come up to me and asks "Mom what does **** in your pants mean?" I couldn't help but laugh hysterically. He had no idea what was so funny. I had no idea what to say to him. So he says "Does it mean like you pissed in your pants or something...
    howsab howsab 31-35, F Sep 17, 2012

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    Too Much Time Spent Playing, "plants Vs. Zombies"

    If you are religious, you may want to stop reading this now..... My daughter turned 8 a few days ago. Last week she was asking me who the first human being was. I have explained to her in the past the process of evolution, and the difficulty of identifying the first person...
    accomplice accomplice 41-45, M Aug 18, 2011

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    Turning 9

    My daughter turned 9, and she informed me that now, she has to put her 8 year old life behind her and start living her 9 year old life. When asked what that entailed, she said, I don't know!  I haven't lived it yet!Love her to death! lol
    ANewCreation4Him ANewCreation4Him 36-40, F 2 Responses Aug 3, 2013

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    TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math

    multiplication on the floor? JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Sep 3

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    Related Experiences

    See - when kids say silly things, it's cute. When adults say silly things, I just want to punch them in the face. That's all.
    NoVADad703 NoVADad703 31-35, M 4 Responses Oct 31

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    I have a 3 year old and she never shuts up,alot of times she comes to my bed at 5 im the morning wakes me up and starts telling stories.Like seriously she talks alot for her age...
    Rebekah3 Rebekah3 26-30, F 3 Responses Nov 13

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    It amazes me how rude and snarky and just nasty little kids are. I finally figured out the difference between my generation and theirs. I grew up watching Icarly and drake and josh...
    bluebell45 bluebell45 22-25, F 2 Responses Nov 7

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    A few years ago, there was a lice outbreak at my kids' school. We spent hours upon hours removing lice and nits from my daughter's long, thick hair. Lice was all we talked about...
    Artvg Artvg 41-45, F 4 Responses Oct 28

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    Letters from Little Boys to God Dear God, Why is Sunday School on Sunday? I thought it was supposed to be our day of rest. Tom L. Dear God, I went to this wedding on Sunday and...
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 6 Responses Oct 27

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    Sitting down for a potluck dinner with my kids
    phoenixprincess phoenixprincess 70+, F 3 Responses Oct 29

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    Why does it make me smile, when they do it? The sound of their little voices. And the little on their little faces, when they say things. It is so cute to see those little ones in...
    Singlemother78 Singlemother78 31-35, F 3 Responses Oct 31

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    my 3 year old son hates going to bed he thinks he's to big for a bedtime so when I was getting him ready for bed one night he starts telling me thus story about the most random...
    leahlovesyou leahlovesyou 18-21, F 3 Responses Nov 13

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    Not all kids tbh just some 0.0.
    burnedmemories burnedmemories 16-17, F 1 Response a week ago

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    I always wonder about boys' fascination with cars and things that move. This morning, my 10-year-old boy had a friend Joshua come over. We went to pick him up in our car. The...
    novembermountain novembermountain 41-45, F 3 Responses Nov 7

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    When my second son was around three. He was falling asleep in the floor with the dog underneath him. I remember him saying he wanted to be a dog one day. I asked him why and he...
    picklebobble picklebobble 46-50, M 3 Responses Nov 14

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    After taking my students to meet their parents one afternoon, I headed back to my classroom to prepare to go home. A random little girl, maybe seven years old suddenly approached...
    akamissw akamissw 31-35, F 3 Responses 3 days ago

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    My younger brother usually tells my baby cousin not to drop things and calls him "Bad boy!" for his habit. Yesterday, my cousin came and when he saw my brother dropping his phone...
    GuitarJacque GuitarJacque 18-21, F 1 Response 3 days ago

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    So at work today this 2 year old girl says "I'm single"
    theshu12 theshu12 18-21, F 2 Responses 3 days ago

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    Me: I have to go to work Daughter:(4 years old) *fake cries* what's the point of working so hard if we don't get 1 million puppies?
    Louise9640 Louise9640 26-30, F 5 Responses Oct 28

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    I was at a wedding And my cousin got on a swing and said "Lets play the swingers gonna get ya" I laughed so hard
    Huskyforders Huskyforders 13-15, F 1 Response Oct 29

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    i came home from work in a really bad mood tonight cause i had a bad day at work. well i was watching elmo's world with lucas and i guess he must have knew i wasn't in the greatest...
    singledaddy101 singledaddy101 31-35, M 2 Responses a week ago

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    Just a few hours ago for a great example of how I say stupid things, my first proper relationship I am still learning but God I need to watch what I say, it has been three strong...
    patrick6cfc patrick6cfc 16-17, M Oct 27

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