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I Think Kids Say the Darndest Things

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 134 People

    I'll Work On It, Ok?

    My 6yr old was at the table the other night, rambling on and on as kids do, my husband and I partially collecting bits of info, while trying to have our own conversation (yeah, right!) He's been getting frustrated with me b/c I cannot possibly retain every single sentence that...
    Imaginemolly Imaginemolly 26-30, F 2 Responses Jun 10, 2011

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    Freaking people out is cool!

    This past weekend I went to Colorado to visit my uncle, and he has a six year old granddaughter who lives with him. She totally creeped him out. There was a tornado warning, and when the tornado sirens came on my cousin said that everybody was going to disappear. My uncle...
    LivvieDestroyerofSocks LivvieDestroyerofSocks 18-21, F 1 Response Jun 10

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    Kids Say The Darnest Things

    This story has adult content. A true experience though When I was posted to the Middle East, I bought a Toyota Landcruiser for my daily use. I bought the top of the range vehicle and was very proud to own my first 4 wheel drive. I called my car *Complete Luxury Interior Truck...
    deleted deleted 26-30 7 Responses Oct 10, 2009

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    YOU Never Know What a Child Will Say Next

    Kids Say  The Darndest Things! ThESE ARE STORIES OF ALL THE KIDS IN MY FAMILY.  ...
    JUSTENTICEME JUSTENTICEME 31-35, F 2 Responses May 10, 2009

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    Children Say It Bluntly

    Naturally children are very honest sometimes what they say is embarrassing when they repeat what they hear. But most of the time its sweet, and enjoying. One day i was angry with a friend, and i said she isn't very nice, and i don't know if i like her. The next day that friend...
    peachfuzz68 peachfuzz68 41-45, F Mar 1, 2012

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    What?

    My daughter came up to me one day and asked if i was a **** in high school. I don't even think she really knew what the word meant. I said no of course then my son chimed in with "I don't care if mommy was a **** I still love her!" LOL
    howsab howsab 31-35, F Jul 13, 2011

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    Too Much Time Spent Playing, "plants Vs. Zombies"

    If you are religious, you may want to stop reading this now..... My daughter turned 8 a few days ago. Last week she was asking me who the first human being was. I have explained to her in the past the process of evolution, and the difficulty of identifying the first person...
    accomplice accomplice 41-45, M Aug 18, 2011

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    You Speak Funny!

    I remembered this today!!! I was in North Carolina a few years ago and a little girl, after listening to me speak, innocently enquired, "What's wrong with you?" I promptly replied, "Nothing." She insisted, "Yes ... something is wrong with you. You speak funny." It was...
    chocomint chocomint 51-55, F 7 Responses Apr 12, 2013

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    A Little Bit Of Each

    A few days ago my 8 year old asked if she was like me. I told her yes.  She has all the best parts of me and all the best parts of her daddy in her.  She doesn't know the facts of life quite yet- but you can see her brain working when she makes comments like these:"Ooooohhh...
    ANewCreation4Him ANewCreation4Him 36-40, F 1 Response Nov 23, 2012

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    Daddy's Language

    I feel a tap on my shoulder.  I turn around to see it's Mrs. V, my daughter's French teacher.  She exclaims..."Your daughter is adorable!"  "Oh boy, what did she do?" I ask sarcastically.  Mrs. V knows that my daughter is bi-racial, so she asked her if there was another...
    Mahal1023 Mahal1023 46-50, F 2 Responses Jul 19, 2011

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    My Precious Big Son

    I did not realize at that time that my first son used to observe me intently. He was not attending Preschool at the time, which he started at 2 1/2 years ... but was a little over 2. He has always been a bit chatty. As a matter of fact he talked before he walked. This particular...
    chocomint chocomint 51-55, F Feb 13, 2013

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    What Do You Say To That?

    Most of my stories are religion based. I will apologize ahead for that, not because I am ashamed of my views but because my views are pretty radical and I recognize that many people do not share my views.When my middle daughter was very small I was teaching my young family to...
    btrflysfound btrflysfound 41-45 Sep 8, 2011

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    YOU Never Know What a Child Will Say Next

    Kids Say  The Darndest Things! ThESE ARE STORIES OF ALL THE KIDS IN MY FAMILY.  ...
    JUSTENTICEME JUSTENTICEME 31-35, F 7 Responses May 10, 2009

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    "ain't That Some S***!"

    I was visiting one of the girls I grew up with, one with more children than what I can handle for more than a couple hours at a time. The other day when I popped in she had some extras running around, and apparently kool-aid was now in short supply. The eldest daughter came in...
    StillMeJustDifferent StillMeJustDifferent 31-35 Jul 6, 2011

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    Two Things Necessary!

    My niece's five year old daughter never ceases to amaze me. She wanted to spend the Easter vacation with me and kept insisting that she should. For the final time I told her that it has already been arranged and that she HAS to go to her dad's house (parents separated). Her...
    chocomint chocomint 51-55, F May 13, 2013

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    Christmas

    One never knows the value of Christmas until they are able to see it through a 9 year old's mind. Yesterday, my daughter said to me, "Mom, Christmas is pretty close, isn't it?  Thinking it's still a quarter year away, I said, "well, there's still a ways to go."  Looking...
    ANewCreation4Him ANewCreation4Him 36-40, F 2 Responses Sep 21, 2013

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    Santa Is OLD

    My 9 year old daughter and I were walking in the store last week, and she must have been thinking Christmas. She brought up her Christmas dress last year (was a Mrs. Claus style), and told me Santa loved it.  I said how do you know that? She said because it reminded him of Mrs...
    ANewCreation4Him ANewCreation4Him 36-40, F Oct 14, 2013

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    First Day Back At School

      A 2nd grade class was walking thru the lobby & 2 boys was making loud quacking noises.  The school secretary reminded them they have to be quiet in the lobby.  Their teacher now embarrased asked "were you making quacking noises in the lobby?" One boy said "it wasn't me...
    dare2love dare2love 56-60, F 2 Responses Oct 21, 2011

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    Kids Say And Do The Darndest Things Lol!

    My daughter has a lovely fabric head band on and a blanket as a cape, it's sometimes hard to understand her and my son thought that she just said that she needs a beer you silly!!! Lol, then she corrected him and said no I need my gear and she turned around with a stuffed...
    Jesusfoundme Jesusfoundme 31-35, F 3 Responses Feb 27, 2010

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    My Mini Is So Freakin Funny!

    My 3 year old is so freaking funny! She is way to smart for her own good, and the things that come out of her mouth are priceless: December 7, 2012 Just picked up Shawn's friend Aiden. This was their convo as we left: Aiden: bye mom Shawna: yep say goodbye to your mom and...
    ebnyflower ebnyflower 22-25, F 1 Response Jan 2, 2013

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    Turning 9

    My daughter turned 9, and she informed me that now, she has to put her 8 year old life behind her and start living her 9 year old life. When asked what that entailed, she said, I don't know!  I haven't lived it yet!Love her to death! lol
    ANewCreation4Him ANewCreation4Him 36-40, F 2 Responses Aug 3, 2013

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    My Face Is Red More Than It Is White...

    So the title pretty much says it, but it is either red from embarrassment, laughing, or because I am absolutely ready to explode. I am mommy to an 11 year old and 4 year old and they keep me on my toes, you can see some of their funny antics over on my blog, and I am sure I will...
    hisbetterhalf143 hisbetterhalf143 31-35, F May 15, 2013

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    Fun In Church

    When my oldest was about 2.5 yrs old, he learned to say words, and form sentences. He was very proud of his new found abilities. one day in church, the Pastor is talking and my son says "daddy, I know what the F word is" I am panic stricken, I try to divert his thought, no good...
    abigguy4u abigguy4u 56-60, M 7 Responses Jun 9, 2011

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    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Jul 4, 2011

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    My Son Did Not Say This But Did It! Accidental Exposure!

    When he was about 7 months old, my son really embarrassed his Daddy. My wife had  breast fed little Mike from birth. She would pump extra milk for out on the town events. On Sunday in church, he is really acting up, my wife was out of town on business. So before services start...
    abigguy4u abigguy4u 56-60, M 9 Responses Jun 14, 2011

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    My Nephew

    "Washing machines don't die, that's what people do!"
    AltF4 AltF4 22-25, M 1 Response Jul 21, 2013

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    My Son Has A Question

    The other day my ten year old son just come up to me and asks "Mom what does **** in your pants mean?" I couldn't help but laugh hysterically. He had no idea what was so funny. I had no idea what to say to him. So he says "Does it mean like you pissed in your pants or something...
    howsab howsab 31-35, F Sep 17, 2012

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    TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math

    multiplication on the floor? JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Sep 3

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    After the christening of his baby brother in

    church, Jason sobbed all the way home in the back seat of the car. His father asked him three times what was wrong. Finally, the boy replied, "That preacher said he wanted us brought up in a Christian home and I wanted to stay with you guys."
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Apr 13

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    According To My 3 Year Old

    Boys have wienies, Girls have hair!
    LG76 LG76 36-40, F 2 Responses Jan 30, 2012

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    Related Experiences

    Lucas: daddy am i stwange Me: no why would you ever think that Lucas: kids say that sometimes Me: well those kids don't have any right saying anything about you they don't know...
    singledaddy101 singledaddy101 31-35, M 2 Responses Oct 13

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    Life is a Carnival Yesterday my sisters and I took our kids (ages 7 thru 12) to a local fair. The cousins enjoyed each other's company as they hopped from ride to ride with...
    Unjusted Unjusted 36-40, F 2 Responses Sep 30

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    Ok so after school today, the kids did their homework and then the girls wanted to watch a movie. I suggested a few then I suggested Camp Rock, "Yeah! Camp rock! Camp rock...
    mumsnineangels mumsnineangels 36-40, F Oct 1

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    Actually no. Working in retail I wish kids would just shut up.
    ValhallaAwaits ValhallaAwaits 18-21, M 1 Response Oct 1

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    My 3 Year Old Sister Had An Imaginary Friend Named Papootz. At Some Point My Grandma Calls Papootz A 'Him' And My Sister Says. Papootz Isn't A Boy. And My Grandma Asks What...
    Eriannaa Eriannaa 13-15, F 1 Response Oct 1

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    My baby cousin seems to pronounce all 'SSS' sounds as 'shhh', mind you she's only two. But my uncle gets a kick out of her saying SIT lol. She recently had to welcome a baby...
    MSCris MSCris 18-21, F Oct 1

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    I remember turning to my then 1.5 year-old, who had been driving me mad with his fiddling and ranting at the breakfast table and saying "Oh just pipe down now; sometimes you're...
    jenga1 jenga1 46-50, F 2 Responses Oct 6

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    Me: Jake what are you doing? Jake: (4yr old) planting donuts! I walk out to the back yard and jake is pouring a box of cheerios in a hole he dug cx
    Allofthemeanpeople Allofthemeanpeople 16-17, F 2 Responses Sep 22

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    Bookmark... My 4-year old daughter was busy trying to catch my attention as I was reading a book. Finally, she asked me: "How can you be reading when you're quiet?" "I read...
    SleeplessKnight SleeplessKnight 41-45, M 11 Responses Sep 29

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    Totally, I know a kid that got lost in the beach. So he went to the guards telling them : My parents are lost!!!
    amIstarryeyed amIstarryeyed 36-40, M 2 Responses Oct 1

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    My little cousin told me she'd rip my eyes out because they were pretty and shes jealous cuz hers are brown. I let her watch to much horror movies.
    jesikahluv jesikahluv 18-21, F 1 Response Oct 1

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    conversation when i had to take Lucas to to the hospital for dialysis treatment and my brother Dylan was getting a blood test (its the same department) so while were waiting to be...
    singledaddy101 singledaddy101 31-35, M 2 Responses Oct 4

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    this morning at lunch at a coffee shop Luke: daddy i wanna be yike you when i gwow up. Me: you wanna be like me? how come? Luke: I wanna drive a caw Me: what car would you drive...
    singledaddy101 singledaddy101 31-35, M 1 Response Oct 5

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    Elementary students in the class I help with. I laugh every day :) Teacher: So then the Puritans left England and sailed to America. James: To get away from Hitler?! The next...
    Dreamer32 Dreamer32 26-30, F 3 Responses Oct 11

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    ***I read this in a Reader's Digest. Thought it was sooo funny, I just had to share. I can't recall the exact wording, but you'll get the gist. :) A mom came home from work...
    Babydoll42 Babydoll42 41-45, F 8 Responses Oct 13

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    I mean, we've got all these little twerps running around spending more time worrying about their own ''swag'' and how much money they can score off their parents than getting a job...
    Roninturnedmartyr Roninturnedmartyr 18-21, M Sep 24

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    I'm babysitting at the moment. One of the kids was stalking me from under the table. I told him he was bad at hiding. He made a sad face. "Oh man! I'm NOT a ninja!" Then, he left...
    TheBadgeringWitness TheBadgeringWitness 26-30 2 Responses a week ago

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    Lol the other day I was in class, and the teacher asked for a date before the civil war for this timeline assignment we were doing, and I got confused and said "1900's" and...
    Selphira Selphira 16-17, F Oct 3

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    http://youtu.be/RUi54JTgL5s Perfect - Simple Plan "Nothing's going to change the things that you said Nothing's going to make this right again (right again) Please don't turn...
    Concerto Concerto 22-25, F Oct 5

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    wow, that title helps, I dont smoke weed to make things better, i smoke weed because my friends and i like being high. It enhances what we do, whether thats listen to music, play...
    DanDaMan92 DanDaMan92 22-25, M 1 Response 5 days ago

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