I Think Kids Say the Darnest Things

Share the incident when you were humiliated by a child's comment. Don't be shy, it's happened to the best of us. 90 People

    Sunday Night

    Kids come back to my house after being with their dad for the weekend. Two year old, sobbing into my chest and reaching for door: "Daddy! Daddy! I want Daddy! Waaaaaah!" Seven year old, sadly putting down her pizza: "Mommy, I don't think you should get...
    Fallflower Fallflower
    36-40, F
    1 Response Mar 24, 2009

    Sure Blame It On Your Mama

    Yesterday was the day my daughter has chior after school so I don't pick her up till later on.  She rides the chior bus after school and I pick her up there.  Some days chior is cancelled and it's her job to let me know before school lets out.  So at 2:55 yesterday...
    Lighthouse Lighthouse
    36-40, F
    1 Response Mar 4, 2009

    My Daughter

    When my daughter was 2 she could speak very clear for a 2 yo, so we was going downtown for the ice capades so i couldnt find anywhere to park so the valet guys comes and like where do you want me to park it, and my daughter replies "You can Park it Up Your ***"!!!! and...
    siggy10 siggy10
    31-35, M
    14 Responses Jul 28, 2008

    Mad Cheeks?

    I'm bent over the freezer and my 10 year old daughter says from the island where she's eating lunch, "You have some mad cheeks dad and i'm not talking about the ones your face." I'm laughing like crazy and she goes on and says, "Dad, do you know why when Brady (our dog) farts and...
    Gyummy Gyummy
    51-55, M
    6 Responses Jul 7, 2012

    Don't You Just Love Kids?!?

    I have been blessed to know many children in my lifetime.  Which means I get to hear all the funny little things they say, like: My baby sister, who is not yet two, calls people a "*****".  I don't know how, but she knows the word and the correct...
    urbrandofheroin urbrandofheroin
    22-25, F
    1 Response Mar 24, 2009

    The Resurrection

    A pastor was presenting a children's sermon. During the sermon, he asked the children if they knew what the resurrection was. Now, asking questions during children's sermons is crucial, but at the same time, asking children questions in front of a congregation can also be very...
    jml2000 jml2000
    61-65, M
    2 Responses Nov 25, 2013

    Son: Let's pretend...

    . The cat is sick and i'm taking him to the vet. Me: What do you have in your pocket? Son: Money How much? Eight. Eight what? Eight money! It's for the vet. This vet is different... I can imagine he is... if he takes eight monies.
    SweetKiester SweetKiester
    41-45, F
    May 6, 2014

    Daddy's Razor

    My Ex still has the keys to the house (against my wishes).  We both continue to co-own our home but my daughter and I are the only ones that live here.  When I'm home alone, I like to sleep completely naked.  After spending a night at her...
    deleted deleted
    Jun 20, 2010
    fungirlmmm fungirlmmm
    46-50, F
    Feb 19, 2010

    Grab Your Bible, Quick!

    KIDS AND THE BIBLE This comes from a Catholic elementary school. Kids were asked questions about the Old and New Testaments. They have not been retouched or corrected (i.e., incorrect spelling has been left in). In the first book of the bible, Guinessis, God got tired of...
    Josie06 Josie06
    56-60, F
    4 Responses Sep 22, 2008

    I always wonder about boys' fascination with

    cars and things that move. This morning, my 10-year-old boy had a friend Joshua come over. We went to pick him up in our car. The moment Joshua climbed in, he greeted me and proceeded to talk to my boy. Now, when they talk, I act like I am transparent so they don't really bother...
    novembermoon novembermoon
    41-45, F
    2 Responses Nov 7, 2014

    I was babysitting my friend's five year old son

    and he asked why I didn't have any kids. I said "Well babies are a lot of work! You have to change lots of poopy diapers." He goes "Yea and they throw up everywhere. I'm never gonna change poopy diapers." I said "Well what about when you grow up and one day you have you're own...
    ktpifer ktpifer
    26-30, F
    1 Response Mar 23, 2014

    Encouragement From Big Sis

    Being that my son is a bit on the wild side we generally don't go into a restaurant but instead do car side carryout. So we pulled up at a Carrabas about  a month ago and it's me with all three kids. The same woman comes out and I can hear my son in the back "Open the...
    mysplitpersonality mysplitpersonality
    36-40, F
    11 Responses Jul 28, 2008

    My Dot

    Okay, so I'm a 40+ yr. old mother of 2 girls.  The oldest one is 10.  I basically have 0 privacy (I know you all can relate), so when I have my time of the month, the girls know and are now starting to ask questions. Recently, I changed birth control to one that is...
    AnalyticalAly AnalyticalAly
    41-45, F
    2 Responses Feb 7, 2009

    It amazes me how rude

    and snarky and just nasty little kids are. I finally figured out the difference between my generation and theirs. I grew up watching Icarly and drake and josh, and I watched some of the kids shows on today, and it was crazy, the humor was nothing but mean snarky jokes, and it...
    DrugLover72 DrugLover72
    26-30, F
    Nov 7, 2014

    They Don't Have to Be Little Either!

    My daughter has always had a way of cracking me up with the silly things she says. It has been few and far between the older she gets but occasionally she catches me off guard. She will be 13 years old in 4 months and is learning more and more at school that we have to...
    emptyheart emptyheart
    41-45, F
    1 Response Jan 27, 2009

    So my son has been looking

    for his thomas train for a while and i went upstairs to get something and he calls out " wait for me, don't leave me" lol >.< i ended up finding his thimas and i came down stairs to give it to him and he was so happy he starts jumping and stuff and he says "yaaaaay...
    Cchubbyy Cchubbyy
    22-25, F
    Jan 14


    My little man was in the backseat causing ciaos and it needed to be redirected. I pulled up to a red light and looked over to see this poodle in the drivers lap. I immediately brought it to his attention and I got "Oh my god what a cute chi chi wa wa mom". ...
    mysplitpersonality mysplitpersonality
    36-40, F
    Mar 17, 2009

    I'm in the kitchen cleaning up from breakfast

    and I hear my daughter in the living room "Mmm, it's delicious!". I know I haven't left anything in there that should be considered "delicious". I come around the corner to find she has devoured half of a tube of chapstick. lol The joys of parenthood!
    Bluebell83 Bluebell83
    31-35, F
    1 Response Jul 17, 2015

    Funny Stories of My Nieces. :)

    my 5 year old niece (4 back then) was sitting on my couch watching a movie...it was 11:30 at night and I had volunteered to babysit. I knew she had to be thirsty so I asked her what she wanted to drink. She replied "that green can"...I looked over and what do I...
    mama2b21 mama2b21
    18-21, F
    1 Response Jun 23, 2009

    ...and Do

    Here we go again... just when I thought we were over the potty issues it's right back again bigger than ever. This morning he went into the dishwasher, took out a cereal bowl and peed in it right in the kitchen. Just now he came into my room and asked if he could go on my bed...
    mysplitpersonality mysplitpersonality
    36-40, F
    1 Response Jun 8, 2008

    My Nephew

    We were finishing up moving my sister and brother into their new shared home today when someone decided to put the dining table together. He told my nephew to run out to his truck and grab the tools. I happened to be outside with a few of the others and just had to laugh when my...
    mysplitpersonality mysplitpersonality
    36-40, F
    2 Responses Jun 27, 2009

    I just got to my friend's house,

    and her 4 year old son comes to me and says, "It's my dad's birthday today." Then he points up behind me and goes "He's right there." I turned around and saw the security camera he was pointing at LOL I waved at the camera and said "Happy birthday, Mike!"
    ktpifer ktpifer
    26-30, F
    Mar 23, 2014

    *** Mom Alert ***

      ALWAYS CHECK YOUR CHILD'S HOMEWORK (Here's the reply the teacher received the following day) Dear Mrs. Jones, I wish to clarify that I am not now, nor have I ever been, an exotic dancer. I work at Home Depot and I told my daughter how hectic it was last week before the...
    Josie06 Josie06
    56-60, F
    7 Responses Feb 6, 2009
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