Post

I Think Kids Say The Funniest Things

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 273 People

    How To Make Smores....A 4 Year Old'S Recipe

    Take two graham crackers, put on some chocolate, catch a marshmallow on fire.....and, "wa la" you have smores! LOL
    LG76 LG76 36-40, F 2 Responses Feb 28, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    A very dirty little fellow came in from playing

    in the yard and asked his mother, "Who am I? " Ready to play the game she said, "I don't know! Who are you?" "WOW!" cried the child. "Mrs. Johnson was right! She said I was so dirty, my own mother wouldn't recognize me!"
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Apr 7

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Monster Outside The House

    My daughters were playing house in the bedroom. One was inside their so-called house while the other was outside when someone calls out, "There's a monster outside your house! Quick, everyone get inside the house!"Inside the house, we heard someone declare, "It's okay. My sister...
    thelonewood thelonewood 26-30 1 Response Jan 12, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Being A Big Sister

    My eldest daughter can't decide whether she hates being a big sister or loves it. One time, she shouted, "I hate being the big sister. She's ruining my life!" This happened after a quarrel with her younger sister. But then, another time, she proudly declared, "I love being the...
    thelonewood thelonewood 26-30 1 Response Jan 8, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    "Michael Jackson turned white,

    he didn't turn brown again, then he went up to the sky, then he played for the broncos and the eagles, then he went to jail." "Honey, I think you're confusing Michael Jackson and Michael Vick." "Ohhhhhh." I swear this is real haha
    Dreamer32 Dreamer32 22-25, F Jan 30

    Your Response

    Cancel

    For The Love Of Hookers

    I when my oldest son was around 5 years old we were driving in the car and out of the blue, he started saying "Mom Mom... I love hookers!!" I think I spit out some of my coffee, at that moment....thinking oh my what has his father been saying. This made me laugh, I asked him...
    deleted deleted 26-30 10 Responses May 14, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Heard On A Bus

    I was riding a city bus a few years ago when this woman was standing nearby talking to her 5 or 6 year old son. He was bragging about how he had a girlfriend and wanted to buy her presents and stuff. Mom: You won't be able to buy her anything without money. Son: How do I get...
    MissVida MissVida 26-30, F 2 Responses Sep 22, 2011

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I Divorced My Son' Father When My Son Was Two...

    It never occurred to me he had no memories of us ever being together. It was never anything I kept to myself or didn't talk about.  However, one day when he was about 6 or 7 he asked me if I liked to downhill ski. I said, "When I was married to your Dad we used to go skiing a...
    Coas Coas 46-50, F Jul 12, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Tweet

    There were some birds chirping around the house this morning. I thought nothing of it until my 5 year old daughter, aka Blueberry, said,"Mommy, those birds are laughing at me."
    thelonewood thelonewood 26-30 2 Responses Feb 7, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Don't Place Your Arm On My Shoulder

    My nine year old daughter, aka Raspberry, was walking back to the house with her father after buying some ice cream. Casually, her father placed his arm on her shoulder to make sure she doesn't get lost. However, eyeing the bystanders, Raspberry suddenly whispered to her father...
    thelonewood thelonewood 26-30 Oct 24, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    One of the students got a new baby brother a

    few months ago and he told us his baby brother's name was Nate. When talking with his mother, she said the baby's name was Andrew. We asked him why he told us his name was Nate, he said, "Well my mom named him Andrew but I named him Nate." You can't make this stuff up.
    Dreamer32 Dreamer32 22-25, F Apr 4

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Moon

    One week ago, my nephew said: " I was at home. I looked outside and I saw the moon. But it was during the day: The moon was wrong! "
    slib slib 18-21 1 Response Oct 10, 2011

    Your Response

    Cancel

    A Lesson in Empathy My 7 yr-old son

    and I were talking about my father who has been very sick for the past year, and incidentally acted quite "grumpy" at times. I was trying to explain empathy to my son, and told him that he should try and put himself in Grandpa's shoes. He said, "Well, they would be...
    Unjusted Unjusted 36-40, F 2 Responses Feb 11

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Lmao...period!

    Today, my nephew who lives with us got a small cut on his leg and was bleeding. The first thing he yells is "KATIE I STARTED MY PERIOD!!" I wonder when he'll find out that a period isn't every time you start bleeding. I laughed so hard I almost peed...then later in the day I had...
    katie729 katie729 18-21, F 4 Responses Apr 7, 2011

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Mommy can we do the thing?

    My daughter says putting her hands up in the shape of a v. My heart smiles as I make the top of the heart with my own hands. We look at each other through the middle and say "I love you always and forever." Somedays my heart melts. ❤️
    Missjayne1 Missjayne1 31-35, F 1 Response Mar 25

    Your Response

    Cancel

    This Is Hilarious....

    Best. Blab. Ever.
    Babydoll42 Babydoll42 41-45, F 1 Response Mar 27, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Alternative To Cussing

    My son knows he is not allowed to cuss so lately when he gets angry he'll go around yelling "Oh Bob Saget!" like the Tourettes Guy. It's so hilarious. It makes me laugh every time he does it. Then when he sees me laughing he forgets about whatever he was mad about and begins to...
    howsab howsab 31-35, F 2 Responses Mar 7, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Patience

    My mother was trying to teach my daughter her ABCs.She kept asking the girl, "What letter is this?" over and over again until finally the girl declared,"Grandma, you are impatient."
    thelonewood thelonewood 26-30 Jan 12, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Opera

    When my niece was about three years old, I used to babysit her a lot.Admittedly, I'm a pretty kooky person and am not ashamed to say a bit silly.I had been singing opera as we played together,"FI-GA-RO! Figaro, Figaro, Figaro!"The next day I heard my niece burst out in song, "My...
    Unjusted Unjusted 36-40, F 1 Response Jun 28, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Favourite TV Impersonation

    My 6 year old son put on Groucho Glasses (with fake nose & mustache attached) yesterday morning...  He walked into his older sister's room where she was sleeping, stood beside her and announced in a booming voice... "Morning Mabel! Who's my favourite Mabel?" She woke up to his...
    Unjusted Unjusted 36-40, F 1 Response Jun 27, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Nobody Loves Me

    My six year old daughter, aka Blueberry, recently got frustrated with something and openly declared, "Nobody loves me. Only my crush!"
    thelonewood thelonewood 26-30 2 Responses Oct 24, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    How To Flush The Toilet: 101

    This morning my ten year old woke up to find that her 15 yr old sister had once again clogged the toilet up in the bathroom they share. So she wrote her a letter..... (we are a family of letter writers you see) Dear (name removed), I am going to tell you how to flush. First you...
    lohla lohla 31-35, F 22 Responses Apr 30, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Watching

    I was watching something on the television when five year old aka Blueberry sat next to me and changed the channel to cartoons. I quietly changed the channel back. Outraged, Blueberry told me, "Mommy, you're fired!"
    thelonewood thelonewood 26-30 1 Response Nov 11, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Letting A Kid Answer The Phone

    I just witnessed a weird phone conversation between my five year old Blueberry and my hubby... Hubby: Hello? Blueberry: Hi Daddy! Hubby: Hi [Blueberry]. Where's your Mommy? Blueberry: She's dead. Hubby: Okay. (ends call)
    thelonewood thelonewood 26-30 Nov 9, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    My Daughter

    My husband was talking to our five year old daughter, aka Blueberry, when he called her "my daughter". Blueberry's jaw suddenly drops and says, "You forgot my name, didn't you? It's [Blueberry], not daughter!"
    thelonewood thelonewood 26-30 Oct 29, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Abigail, Enviably Unfiltered

    my four year old niece has the ability to make me laugh like no one else. she of course balances that with the ability to enfuriate me like no one else. lolone example:"becca....you see this sticker? im gonna crunch it up and put it in my belly button and by tomorrow morning its...
    justbittersweet justbittersweet 22-25, F Oct 6, 2011

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Prescription Santa

    Last week Ma was watching my 4 year old niece while Sis was at work. To preoccupy the niece, Ma had her start her Christmas list..gifts to give and recieve. For her young age, this girl is very observant. She decided Aunt Em needs a kitchen clock. When I was told this, I looked...
    emerald emerald 36-40, F 1 Response Sep 22, 2011

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Egg Of Justice

    5-year old aka Blueberry shows me a plastic egg. It's the Egg of Justice, she says. What does it do, I ask. "It fries!"
    thelonewood thelonewood 26-30 Nov 4, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Simply The Truth

    I do think kids say the funniest things as we have made everything so complex, they see it as simple and truthful... the story which happened to me is that one day as I was standing in line to pay for some items my work had sent me to pick up...well it was a car dealership which...
    PoppaBear53 PoppaBear53 56-60, M Nov 9, 2011

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Sipping Cocacola

    My little cousin, age 6, had her first glass bottle of coca cola. After opening it and having her first sip, she said, "Wow! That really is the taste of happiness!"  Boy did she crack the room up! She has also said phrases like "Clean as a whistle!"  (: She's adorable!
    proudafgf proudafgf 18-21 Oct 10, 2011

    Your Response

    Cancel

    During March Break I took two of my children

    and three of their friends on an outdoor adventure. The kids were chatting and joking with each other, as we were hiking through the woods. Suddenly, my 10 yr-old daughter's friend walks up to me and asks, "Is it true that you can get pregnant from your bone marrow?" Taken by...
    Unjusted Unjusted 36-40, F 1 Response Mar 23

    Your Response

    Cancel

    (I work with the same children every day.

    ) I was holding one of my girl's hands, when one of my boys got jealous. He came over and hugged me and said, "Mine." I asked, "What's mine?" And he replied, "You are," with a big smile. "Are you saying she isn't allowed to hold my hand? Only you are?" "Yeah." "That's not...
    Dreamer32 Dreamer32 22-25, F Mar 25

    Your Response

    Cancel

    "i Have A Few Things I Need To Talk To Her About"

    this past weekend i got to spend sometime with my nephew. He is nine and just a very intelligent and funny little man as i like to call him.He and i went to the national shrine to walk . We were talking about God .He has always had a interest in many different aspects of...
    moonstar312 moonstar312 36-40, F 2 Responses Nov 8, 2011

    Your Response

    Cancel

    A "Pinch" Of Humour

    As I drove the family mini van (aka: mom's taxi) around town to do errands, my children were squabbling in the back. My youngest daughter yells at her older sister, "Stop pinching me!" I holler out to my oldest daughter, "Stop pinching your sister!" She retorts, "I'm not...
    Unjusted Unjusted 36-40, F 2 Responses Aug 13, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Curiousity Baffled The Aunt

    A few months ago, I babysitting my nieces. Alice who is 11 and Bree who is 8. Bree, well, the best way to describe her is, she zany little kid. I didn't have half as much character as she does when I was her age. We were sitting at the dining room table, drawing sea shells...
    JustBernieGirl JustBernieGirl 31-35, F 6 Responses Nov 8, 2011

    Your Response

    Cancel

    This Actually Happened Xd

    One Day i was riding my bike when i finished and went back home while on the ramp to the apartment a kid came infront off me and said to me you scared me you son of a ***** as he said that i was about to laugh really hard then as i go up more i see his mom smiling at me and i...
    Derp321 Derp321 13-15, M Jun 21, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    High School Musical..

    . My youngest daughter brought home an information sheet about our local high school's upcoming musical. They were having a casting call for their rendition of Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat, and she wanted permission to audition. A few days passed, and...
    Unjusted Unjusted 36-40, F 1 Response Feb 11

    Your Response

    Cancel

    On The Verge.....

    11 years old is awkward for him. He so wants to be a man and all that comes with it......but he is stuck in a childs body. His brain is incredible. He absorbs and understands at an incredible rate. I have no idea where he heard it but upon completing check out at the local...
    awhitedot awhitedot 36-40, M 4 Responses Jul 11, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Face

    My 5 year old daughter was accidentally hit by her big sister on the cheek. Upset, she cried,"You hit my face! You hit my beautiful face!"
    thelonewood thelonewood 26-30 2 Responses Feb 12, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    How To Cook

    My 5-year old daughter aka Blueberry asked me if I could do a milk powder recipe she loves so much. I tell her I can't and she says, "It's easy, Mommy. [You can] use your brain!"
    thelonewood thelonewood 26-30 Nov 4, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Kids Are Cute And Say And Do The Funniest Things!!!

    Kids are SO adorable =)!!!!My stepbrother has a son with his wife. My nephew is going to be two years old this year and he has been learning how to talk and everything and I hadn't seen him in awhile. So the other day my dad and I went up to their house to give him his Easter...
    purplebutterfly14 purplebutterfly14 18-21, F 2 Responses Apr 30, 2011

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I Took My Five Year Old Granddaughter To The Grocery Store....

    I took my five year old Granddaughter to the grocery store, our daughter is currently separated and planning on getting a divorce.   The kids are still trying to understand what this all means, and what it means to them.  It is sad for them.  Yet, the marriage wasn't good, and...
    Coas Coas 46-50, F 1 Response Jul 12, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Related Experiences

    The Birds and the Bees... During March Break I took two of my children and three of their friends on an outdoor adventure. The kids were chatting and joking with each other, as we...
    Unjusted Unjusted 36-40, F 3 Responses Mar 23

    Your Response

    Cancel
    I was babysitting my friend's five year old son and he asked why I didn't have any kids. I said "Well babies are a lot of work! You have to change lots of poopy diapers." He goes...
    ktpifer ktpifer 26-30, F Mar 23

    Your Response

    Cancel
    I just got to my friend's house, and her 4 year old son comes to me and says, "It's my dad's birthday today." Then he points up behind me and goes "He's right there." I turned...
    ktpifer ktpifer 26-30, F Mar 23

    Your Response

    Cancel
    My niece is the most adorable baby in the world I think she takes that from her aunt:)
    jenellemorrison1999 jenellemorrison1999 13-15, F 1 Response 3 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Proof reading younger siblings and cousins and nieces and nephews school work where it's open response is one of my favorite things I ever do lol. It's just so cute :P
    BBBritPlease BBBritPlease 18-21, F 2 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    After the christening of his baby brother in church, Jason sobbed all the way home in the back seat of the car. His father asked him three times what was wrong. Finally, the boy...
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Apr 13

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Missing A Sister When my six year old Blueberry traveled with her grandma for a few days, ten year old Raspberry became lonely at home. She would deny it but it was clear she...
    thelonewood thelonewood 26-30 Apr 13

    Your Response

    Cancel
    I found the book that my parents kept all the highlights of childhood for my sisters and I. And apparently when one of my older sister's friends came round for the day I went and...
    projectgwyn101 projectgwyn101 16-17, M 1 Response 6 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    When a new child visited our Sunday school, the teacher greeted him and asked his age. The little boy held up four fingers. "Oh, you're 4," said the teacher. "And when will you...
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 4 Responses 3 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    I had a friend once who had a little sister And her little sister once called for my friend, marriah, and so marriah went to check on her and the little sister said "there's a...
    godhatesfacts godhatesfacts 16-17, F 3 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    I used to work as an actress for a children's theater for five years while I was in high school. Out of all the kids I remember, this one is berg special to me : I was the White...
    auraboreale auraboreale 18-21, F 2 Responses Apr 7

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Breakfast At IHOP! Lyssa got called in to go to work in a few hours and her husband was already at work so she called up her sister to see if she would take her two sons for...
    Chelebub Chelebub 51-55, F Mar 29

    Your Response

    Cancel
    There's so many cute/funny things that my nephews/nieces do. Even something simple such as the faces they pull, have me in stitches!
    Ryanholmes20375 Ryanholmes20375 18-21, M Apr 1

    Your Response

    Cancel