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I Think Kids Say The Funniest Things

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 274 People

    Nobody Loves Me - My six year old daughter, aka Blueberry, recently got frustrated with something and openly declared, "Nobody loves me. Only my crush!"
    thelonewood thelonewood 26-30 2 Responses Oct 24, 2013

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    Face - My 5 year old daughter was accidentally hit by her big sister on the cheek. Upset, she cried,"You hit my face! You hit my beautiful face!"
    thelonewood thelonewood 26-30 2 Responses Feb 12, 2013

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    Heard On A Bus - I was riding a city bus a few years ago when this woman was standing nearby talking to her 5 or 6 year old son. He was bragging about how he had a girlfriend and...
    MissVida MissVida 26-30, F 2 Responses Sep 22, 2011

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    "Michael Jackson turned white, he didn't turn brown again, then he went up to the sky, then he played for the broncos and the eagles, then he went to jail." "Honey, I think you...
    Dreamer32 Dreamer32 22-25, F Jan 30

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    During March Break I took two of my children and three of their friends on an outdoor adventure. The kids were chatting and joking with each other, as we were hiking through the...
    Unjusted Unjusted 36-40, F 1 Response Mar 23

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    Mommy can we do the thing? My daughter says putting her hands up in the shape of a v. My heart smiles as I make the top of the heart with my own hands. We look at each other...
    Missjayne1 Missjayne1 31-35, F 1 Response Mar 25

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    "i Have A Few Things I Need To Talk To Her About" - this past weekend i got to spend sometime with my nephew. He is nine and just a very intelligent and funny little man...
    moonstar312 moonstar312 36-40, F 2 Responses Nov 8, 2011

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    Moon - One week ago, my nephew said: " I was at home. I looked outside and I saw the moon. But it was during the day: The moon was wrong! "
    slib slib 18-21 1 Response Oct 10, 2011

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    Don't Place Your Arm On My Shoulder - My nine year old daughter, aka Raspberry, was walking back to the house with her father after buying some ice cream. Casually, her father...
    thelonewood thelonewood 26-30 Oct 24, 2013

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    A Lesson in Empathy My 7 yr-old son and I were talking about my father who has been very sick for the past year, and incidentally acted quite "grumpy" at times. I was trying to...
    Unjusted Unjusted 36-40, F 2 Responses Feb 11

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    For The Love Of Hookers - I when my oldest son was around 5 years old we were driving in the car and out of the blue, he started saying "Mom Mom... I love hookers!!" I think I...
    deleted deleted 26-30 10 Responses May 14, 2013

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    My Daughter - My husband was talking to our five year old daughter, aka Blueberry, when he called her "my daughter". Blueberry's jaw suddenly drops and says, "You forgot my name...
    thelonewood thelonewood 26-30 Oct 29, 2013

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    One of the students got a new baby brother a few months ago and he told us his baby brother's name was Nate. When talking with his mother, she said the baby's name was Andrew. We...
    Dreamer32 Dreamer32 22-25, F Apr 4

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    High School Musical... My youngest daughter brought home an information sheet about our local high school's upcoming musical. They were having a casting call for their...
    Unjusted Unjusted 36-40, F 1 Response Feb 11

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    Watching - I was watching something on the television when five year old aka Blueberry sat next to me and changed the channel to cartoons. I quietly changed the channel back...
    thelonewood thelonewood 26-30 1 Response Nov 11, 2013

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    Egg Of Justice - 5-year old aka Blueberry shows me a plastic egg. It's the Egg of Justice, she says. What does it do, I ask. "It fries!"
    thelonewood thelonewood 26-30 Nov 4, 2013

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    On The Verge..... - 11 years old is awkward for him. He so wants to be a man and all that comes with it......but he is stuck in a childs body. His brain is incredible. He...
    awhitedot awhitedot 36-40, M 4 Responses Jul 11, 2013

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    How To Flush The Toilet: 101 - This morning my ten year old woke up to find that her 15 yr old sister had once again clogged the toilet up in the bathroom they share. So she wrote...
    lohla lohla 31-35, F 22 Responses Apr 30, 2013

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    Monster Outside The House - My daughters were playing house in the bedroom. One was inside their so-called house while the other was outside when someone calls out, "There's a...
    thelonewood thelonewood 26-30 1 Response Jan 12, 2013

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    Being A Big Sister - My eldest daughter can't decide whether she hates being a big sister or loves it. One time, she shouted, "I hate being the big sister. She's ruining my life...
    thelonewood thelonewood 26-30 1 Response Jan 8, 2013

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    Tweet - There were some birds chirping around the house this morning. I thought nothing of it until my 5 year old daughter, aka Blueberry, said,"Mommy, those birds are laughing at...
    thelonewood thelonewood 26-30 2 Responses Feb 7, 2013

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    How To Make Smores....A 4 Year Old'S Recipe - Take two graham crackers, put on some chocolate, catch a marshmallow on fire.....and, "wa la" you have smores! LOL
    LG76 LG76 36-40, F 2 Responses Feb 28, 2013

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    This Is Hilarious.... - Best. Blab. Ever.
    Babydoll42 Babydoll42 41-45, F 1 Response Mar 27, 2013

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    How To Cook - My 5-year old daughter aka Blueberry asked me if I could do a milk powder recipe she loves so much. I tell her I can't and she says, "It's easy, Mommy. [You can...
    thelonewood thelonewood 26-30 Nov 4, 2013

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    Letting A Kid Answer The Phone - I just witnessed a weird phone conversation between my five year old Blueberry and my hubby... Hubby: Hello? Blueberry: Hi Daddy! Hubby: Hi...
    thelonewood thelonewood 26-30 Nov 9, 2013

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    Abigail, Enviably Unfiltered - my four year old niece has the ability to make me laugh like no one else. she of course balances that with the ability to enfuriate me like no one...
    justbittersweet justbittersweet 22-25, F Oct 6, 2011

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    I Took My Five Year Old Granddaughter To The Grocery Store.... - I took my five year old Granddaughter to the grocery store, our daughter is currently separated and planning on...
    Coas Coas 46-50, F 1 Response Jul 12, 2013

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    Patience - My mother was trying to teach my daughter her ABCs.She kept asking the girl, "What letter is this?" over and over again until finally the girl declared,"Grandma, you are...
    thelonewood thelonewood 26-30 Jan 12, 2013

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    (I work with the same children every day.) I was holding one of my girl's hands, when one of my boys got jealous. He came over and hugged me and said, "Mine." I asked, "What's...
    Dreamer32 Dreamer32 22-25, F Mar 25

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    A very dirty little fellow came in from playing in the yard and asked his mother, "Who am I? " Ready to play the game she said, "I don't know! Who are you?" "WOW!" cried the child...
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Apr 7

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    Sipping Cocacola - My little cousin, age 6, had her first glass bottle of coca cola. After opening it and having her first sip, she said, "Wow! That really is the taste of...
    proudafgf proudafgf 18-21 Oct 10, 2011

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    Kids Are Cute And Say And Do The Funniest Things!!! - Kids are SO adorable =)!!!!My stepbrother has a son with his wife. My nephew is going to be two years old this year and he...
    purplebutterfly14 purplebutterfly14 18-21, F 2 Responses Apr 30, 2011

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    Prescription Santa - Last week Ma was watching my 4 year old niece while Sis was at work. To preoccupy the niece, Ma had her start her Christmas list..gifts to give and recieve...
    emerald emerald 36-40, F 1 Response Sep 22, 2011

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    Lmao...period! - Today, my nephew who lives with us got a small cut on his leg and was bleeding. The first thing he yells is "KATIE I STARTED MY PERIOD!!" I wonder when he'll find...
    katie729 katie729 18-21, F 4 Responses Apr 7, 2011

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    Simply The Truth - I do think kids say the funniest things as we have made everything so complex, they see it as simple and truthful... the story which happened to me is that one...
    PoppaBear53 PoppaBear53 56-60, M Nov 9, 2011

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    Alternative To Cussing - My son knows he is not allowed to cuss so lately when he gets angry he'll go around yelling "Oh Bob Saget!" like the Tourettes Guy. It's so hilarious. It...
    howsab howsab 31-35, F 2 Responses Mar 7, 2012

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    This Actually Happened Xd - One Day i was riding my bike when i finished and went back home while on the ramp to the apartment a kid came infront off me and said to me you scared...
    Derp321 Derp321 13-15, M Jun 21, 2013

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    A "Pinch" Of Humour - As I drove the family mini van (aka: mom's taxi) around town to do errands, my children were squabbling in the back. My youngest daughter yells at her older...
    Unjusted Unjusted 36-40, F 2 Responses Aug 13, 2013

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    I Divorced My Son' Father When My Son Was Two... - It never occurred to me he had no memories of us ever being together. It was never anything I kept to myself or didn't talk...
    Coas Coas 46-50, F Jul 12, 2013

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    Curiousity Baffled The Aunt - A few months ago, I babysitting my nieces. Alice who is 11 and Bree who is 8. Bree, well, the best way to describe her is, she zany little kid. I...
    JustBernieGirl JustBernieGirl 31-35, F 6 Responses Nov 8, 2011

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    Favourite TV Impersonation - My 6 year old son put on Groucho Glasses (with fake nose & mustache attached) yesterday morning...  He walked into his older sister's room where she...
    Unjusted Unjusted 36-40, F 1 Response Jun 27, 2013

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    Opera - When my niece was about three years old, I used to babysit her a lot.Admittedly, I'm a pretty kooky person and am not ashamed to say a bit silly.I had been singing opera as...
    Unjusted Unjusted 36-40, F 1 Response Jun 28, 2013

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    Related Experiences

    The Birds and the Bees... During March Break I took two of my children and three of their friends on an outdoor adventure. The kids were chatting and joking with each other, as we...
    Unjusted Unjusted 36-40, F 3 Responses Mar 23

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    I was babysitting my friend's five year old son and he asked why I didn't have any kids. I said "Well babies are a lot of work! You have to change lots of poopy diapers." He goes...
    ktpifer ktpifer 26-30, F Mar 23

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    I just got to my friend's house, and her 4 year old son comes to me and says, "It's my dad's birthday today." Then he points up behind me and goes "He's right there." I turned...
    ktpifer ktpifer 26-30, F Mar 23

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    As a little boy climbed onto Santa's lap, Santa asked the usual, "And what would you like for Christmas?" The child stared at him open mouthed and horrified for a minute, then...
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 4 Responses Mar 19

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    After the christening of his baby brother in church, Jason sobbed all the way home in the back seat of the car. His father asked him three times what was wrong. Finally, the boy...
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses 3 days ago

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    Missing A Sister When my six year old Blueberry traveled with her grandma for a few days, ten year old Raspberry became lonely at home. She would deny it but it was clear she...
    thelonewood thelonewood 26-30 2 days ago

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    Im not dumb & I do say stupid things a lot, but in a funny stupid way. I think im pretty hilarious! So do other people(: i guess its part of my personality
    blahhooplah blahhooplah 18-21, F Mar 16

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    Trouble I think 10 year old Raspberry may be in trouble. Today, she asked, "Do I have an attorney?"
    thelonewood thelonewood 26-30 2 days ago

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    I used to work as an actress for a children's theater for five years while I was in high school. Out of all the kids I remember, this one is berg special to me : I was the White...
    auraboreale auraboreale 18-21, F 2 Responses Apr 7

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