and starts flicking it all around the house with his finger. His mother tells him to stop it as he’s liable to break something, but the boy continues.
‘Johnny!’ Mom screams. ‘Knock it off!.’ You’re going to break something. He stops and eventually Mom leaves for a...
story of Chicken Little to her class. She came to the part of the story where Chicken Little tried to warn the farmer. She read, ".... and so Chicken Little went up to the farmer and said, "The sky is falling, the sky is falling!"
The teacher paused then asked the class, "And...
so peaceful and quiet was because nobody was married...Andy, Aunt Bea,Barney, Floyd, Howard, Goober, Gomer, Sam, Earnest T Bass, Helen, Thelma Lou, Clara ... and, of course, Opie--all single. The only married person was Otis, and he stayed drunk.
felt much stressed and tired. I always wanted to go somewhere and discover how is it really wonderful to live. Then I meet new people and have new friends. With them I just laugh and laugh. I enjoy being with them...then, I was relieved. Laughter really is the best medicine to...
A Makahu father with a rare form of cancer is being denied a drug that may give him more time with his four young children.
James Grieve, 44, was diagnosed with Desmoplastic Small Round Cell Tumour (DSRCT) last July, when the family were living in Perth.
In the modern world, the desire or the willingness to help others solve their problems is not complete without coming out of the confines of one’s comfortable world into the broader community of people struggling through life, in need or in pain.The Internet has helped...
That's why whenever I come across a homeless person, someone that is terminally ill, someone suffering from severe depression, etc...I always go out of my way to point and laugh and them. It makes me feel pretty good about myself when I go to bed thinking of all the lives I...
after not seeing each other for some time. One asked how the other's husband was doing. "Oh! Rodger died last week. He went out to the garden to dig up a cabbage for dinner, had a heart attack and dropped dead right there in the vegetable patch."
"Oh dear, I'm sorry," replied...
A lady approaches a priest and tells him, "Father, l have a problem. I have these two talking female parrots.
" "What do they say?" the priest inquired.
"They only know how to say, 'Hi, we are pr0stitutes. Do you want to have some fun?"
"That's terrible!" the priest exclaimed...
At age 4 success is. . .not peeing in your pants.
At age 12 success is . . .having a friends.
At age 17 success is . . .having a drivers license.
At age 35 success is . . .having money.
At age 50 success is . . .having money.
At age 70 success is . . .having a drivers license.
for a washer and dryer set, I am going to look for a model without the sock monster option. I have been saving socks for years in the hopes that the sock monster will set their match free. But no such luck. Damn you sock monster! Damn you!
Kaiser Permanente’s South Sacramento Medical Center has been verified by the American College of Surgeons as a Level II trauma center.
The center got provisional verification by the group last year so it could begin operations, but the process requires...
town, needed to mail a letter. Passing a young boy on the street, the pastor asked where he could find the post office.
After getting his answer, the minister thanked the boy and said, “If you’ll come to the community church this evening, you can hear me tell everyone how to...
that I always visit while in Chicago. The bartender is hilariously charismatic .
Me: - what's new George?
Bartender: - Do you really want to know?
Me: - of course!
BT: - Well.... I shaved my scrotum .
One of the few instances when I did not know what to reply .
Switzerland. On the third day, they visited a farm known for its excellent quality goat cheese.
The young farmer’s wife gave them a tour, a cheese making demonstration, and finally some samples. As the retirees were tasting the cheeses, she pointed to a pasture full of goats...
it can give you kidney failure,
When you drink Rum over ice, it can give you liver failure,
When you drink whiskey over ice, it can give you heart problems,
When you drink Gin over ice, it can give you brain problems.
Apparently, ice is really bad for you.
skimping by thinning his paint excessively.
Nevertheless, he lands a big job painting a church.
He's almost done when a major storm comes up. It washes all the paint off.
Midst the thunder and lightening, a loud voice is heard, REPAINT, and REPAINT, THIN NO MORE!
i feel like im watching that scene in finding nemo, when the crab is out of water, and all the seagalls are chasing it and saying "mine, mine, mine...." this pertaining to when just about any female posts something and all these dudes jump on that post......just sayin lol
but played many sports. When he got to a different high school, he became bullied partly for his size among other things. He dropped all sports and withdrew socially for the entire first year.
Every morning when I come downstairs, they don't know what to expect. I am jumping...
looking for a new man to make weekly collections from all the private businesses that he is "protecting." Feeling the heat from the police force, he decides to use a deaf person for the job so that even if he were to get caught, he wouldn't be able to communicate to the police...