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I Think Some Men Have Really Bad Pick Up Lines

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 107 People

    Some Are So Bad, You Can't Help But Laugh!

    So, I having been single for about a year and half now. I thought it was time to step up my game and hit the social scene with my friends, which i have been doing for the past 2 months. This usually involves a few pub crawls in my local town and having to endure the half...
    fantafringe fantafringe 26-30, F 5 Responses Aug 5, 2009

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    I Had Some Pretty Bad Ones...

    Once upon a time, I was a single guy in Chicago. I had a decent job, a nice apartment, and a group of good friends that liked to hang out at the bar a few blocks from my place. We were there most nights, and try as I might, I never could quite get the whole pick up line thing...
    ord2act ord2act 31-35, M 5 Responses Oct 16, 2011

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    A Couple Memorable Experiences

    They call me "coffee",  I grind so fine.   I actually laughed when a guy said that to me once.  Then of course he hung around all night thinking he was 'in'.  It didn't go anywhere, but he was funny to listen to.   The freakiest was after...
    MissSarahAnne MissSarahAnne 26-30, F 10 Responses Nov 15, 2008

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    For Years

    for years a friend of ours used the line... "oh wow that dress is very becoming...you know if i were on you i'd be ******* too"... sadly i hate to report that it often got him a good laugh and a phone number... to each their own..
    RocknRose RocknRose 26-30, F Jul 1, 2008

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    13 Pick Up Lines That Might Get You Killed

    1. If you and I were squirrels, could I busta nut in your hole? 2. I'd like to wrap your legs around my head and wear you like a feed bag. 3. If it's true that we are what we eat, I could be you by morning. 4.  How do you like your eggs: poached, scrambled, or fertilized...
    CuriosityKitten CuriosityKitten 31-35, F 15 Responses Aug 22, 2009

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    Wrong Language, Buddy

    I was in the Union Station bookstore killing some time before going home after work one day.  This guy looking at some books next to me, out of the blue, says, "So uhh..do you work around here?" and I say I just got off work and I'm looking at books before going...
    yoyy yoyy 26-30, F 28 Responses Nov 30, 2008

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    I' Ve Heard Some Really Bad Ones...

    so in retaliation I looked up a few on the internet to give back to  the guys that dished them out... it was hilarious to see their "duh-uh" looks when I came back with an equally lame and ridiculous pick up line... here are a couple that I liked to use quite often...
    phidget phidget 31-35, F 22 Responses Jun 30, 2008

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    So....this one is a doozy.

    ... During my first trip to Europe, I was on a tour...nine countries in 25 days. I met an awesome Aussie lady and we were fast friends. We hung out, quite a bit, had a ton of fun and one day we were sitting outside of our hotel in Hopfgarten, Austria...chatting...waiting for...
    Pinky65 Pinky65 46-50, F 10 Responses Aug 21

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    What a Dog!

    I once had a drunk guy at a bar tell me he wanted to lick my legs like a puppy dog. Gross.
    prplfae prplfae 22-25, F Aug 6, 2009

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    Sharing, Are We?

    The worst ever is when guys ask me, "What's your sign?" And I tell them, thinking that maybe they're into astrology also, "I'm Scorpio." And then the next thing is, them asking how well does Scorpio and their sign make in a relationship. The first guy who...
    deleted deleted 26-30 4 Responses Dec 1, 2008

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    50 Shades Of Hell No

    So I am seeing what is out there, man wise, and it is not looking good. Don't get me wrong, there are some nice ones out there, but they are way out numbered by the jack holes. For instance, take this one guy, John (and that IS his real name). John seemed nice. We met for...
    phoenix924 phoenix924 36-40 1 Response Oct 22, 2012

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    Lame? Or Not Lame?

    "If I followed you home...would you keep me?" "I lost my number...can I borrow yours?" "Am I cute enough yet? or do you need more drinks?" "You know what would look great on you? Me" "All those curves...and me with no brakes."...
    AGeminisTwin AGeminisTwin 36-40, F 3 Responses Jun 12, 2009

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    Lame

    I've been on the receiving of many lame pick up lines. I don't actually mind if someone asked me my sign cause i'm into astrology too. But last week i was in the city and walked past McDonalds and there was some creepy dude that seemed to take an interest in me, and was staring...
    jasminjane jasminjane 18-21, F 1 Response Dec 17, 2008

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    So...

    Here's the worst pick up line I ever received: "So... I like your boobs. Wanna go out?" Um. No. 
    kleisse kleisse 22-25, F Aug 5, 2009

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    Way Too Cheesy And Lame

    We have all heard our share, here's a few of the worst (at least in my opinion): 1. "Are your parents beavers cause DAMMMM!" 2. "Let's make like a candle and go out." 3. "How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to break the ice, hi my name is ____." 4. "Did it hurt when you fell...
    PenelopeParfait PenelopeParfait 18-21, F 5 Responses Jun 27, 2012

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    60% of the Time, They Work Every Time

    Roses are Red, Violets are blue, I like spaghetti, Let's go ****.  Does this rag smell funny to you?  Hey now, let's not turn this rape into a murder.
    MasterShake25 MasterShake25 22-25 Aug 6, 2009

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    He Knows Nothing About Me But He Says....................

    Forget all these rubbish men you've been out with. or I expect you've been treated really badly by men. My reply it "No, I was happily married. My husband died. So what are you going on about"? Their answer is "well you know what | mean" I reply "No. What are you going on about...
    chanelP chanelP 41-45, F 1 Response Dec 13, 2011

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    Atleast Some Of Them Get Creative

    "Do you like Harry Potter? Cause I'm trying to get into your Chamber of Secrets." "Did you get your pants at a sale? Cause in my house they'd be 100% off." "Do you like Australian kisses? They're like French kisses, but down under." "The word of the day is legs. Now let's go back...
    ChasingNothing ChasingNothing 18-21, F 3 Responses Jun 13, 2013

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    Really Corny Pick Up Lines..

    man: "do you know how to drive?" girl: "yes..why?" man: "because you drive me crazy." girl: THREW UP lol
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Jun 30, 2008

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    Are Your Parents Terrorists?

    Cause you're the bomb! god, am I really supposed to fall for that kind of ****? seriously... that's just idiotic.
    forgetmyname forgetmyname 16-17, F 1 Response Feb 6, 2008

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    A List Of My Favorites

    1) I've got Skittles in my mouth, wanna taste the rainbow? 2) I heard milk was good for you but, DAMN! How much did you drink? 3) Hey baby. Wanna play house? You be the door and I'll slam you. 4) Do you have a Bandaid? I cut my knee falling for you. 5) Are you going to kiss...
    DreamlessDesire DreamlessDesire 18-21, F 2 Responses Sep 23, 2012

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    Another Good One

    If I were an enzyme, I'd be DNA helicase so I could unzip your genes.
    MasterShake25 MasterShake25 22-25 Aug 8, 2009

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    Well...

    Just an hour or 2 ago I was riding home from work on my bike, when I met this guy riding the opposite direction who stared at my(not special and not significantly large) breasts, than at my face and said "Hello beautiful, feel like having sex?" To be honest, I actually...
    JojaRodenaLente JojaRodenaLente 18-21, F 4 Responses Jul 1, 2008

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    Related Experiences

    my neighbor is just all around bizarre. It's like an art form to the most disturbing degree. He loves any negative attention you're willing to give so he can turn it around in some...
    davenr7 davenr7 31-35 3 days ago

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    Just woke up from the craziest nightmare. I recently learned an old friend now lives in Thailand. She grew up 2 hours away from where I live. I hada nightmare that I went to go...
    katariffik katariffik 31-35, F 2 Responses Nov 22

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    everynight, i have at least 2-4 different nightmares; that I'll wake up screaming and kicking and crying from. They're getting so graphic, & I can't handle it every night ?? I...
    cryingInSilence cryingInSilence 16-17, F 2 Responses Dec 9

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    I have 17 pages of homework and a final to study for by tomorrow and I left my backpack at school. I'm going to break.
    kindheartedNbroken kindheartedNbroken 16-17, F 4 days ago

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    Want to chat? Don't have names like bigslickdick lovemybbc tittiemaster forurpleasure or just have pics of ur **** for ur display picture. Trust me I giggle and ignore. Just saying...
    Ownedforaprice Ownedforaprice 22-25, F 3 Responses 2 days ago

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    OK granted it has never worked but my all-time favorite is " Hi my name is JD and I would like you to meet my friend...****" That is gold Jerry..GOLD!!!!!
    JackisMe JackisMe 41-45, M Dec 12

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    Even when awake. Ideations. Not many asleep. But dejavu dreams that are odd. When dreamed. And when they become dejavu.
    OddlyScintilating OddlyScintilating 46-50, M Nov 30

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    I can hardly breathe anymore. My lungs are aching for air, my legs are begging for rest, but I can’t stop running. I will not stop running. I look behind me as quickly as...
    childofthemoon13 childofthemoon13 16-17, F 2 Responses Dec 10

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    I've been in love for a long time, I finally could say all I feel to that person, but, she doesn't says "I love you" I hug her, shes hugs me, we hold our hands, and she is so cute...
    Vardelos Vardelos 18-21, M 4 days ago

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    I think police should have access to criminal records across state lines. I was arrested because we visited a state next to ours and the police had no way to check - to see I had...
    tryingagainII tryingagainII 56-60, M Dec 6

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    Now, I don't want to lose you, but I don't want to use you just to have somebody by my side. And I don't want to hate you, I don't want to take you, but I don't want to be the one...
    stiltcourt stiltcourt 41-45, F 4 Responses 6 days ago

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    Last night I ****** up really bad.
    Melanie15 Melanie15 16-17, F 4 Responses Nov 30

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    I think the men on here sending weenie pics and pretending to be girls to trade Are pretty stupid. Send me a bra pic and I ask what cup you are and you come out with some totally...
    Ownedforaprice Ownedforaprice 22-25, F Dec 4

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    Muslim men have much larger, more powerful penises than us Hindu men and that makes them superior men to us.
    delhiabhi delhiabhi 22-25, M Dec 7

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    I think all men should worship woman as a goddess and I don't mean on their knees kissing are toes waiting for our beck and call kind of worship I mean worship as in you know she...
    Alli13146 Alli13146 13-15, F a week ago

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    It calls my name. Everytime I have a bad day it begs me to it. One last time I tell myself after every cut. But then I come back to its grip. I wonder, is this how I will live? I...
    LenaBena1430 LenaBena1430 16-17, F 2 Responses Nov 26

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    Only because men have the right to be topless. I wouldn't go topless but I think other women should have that option.
    RainyDay48 RainyDay48 26-30, F 10 Responses Dec 1

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    I have a very bad luck that when ever i make friends they always went far from me just because of there wedding life i always tried not to make such friends whose are married but...
    alexorn alexorn 22-25 2 Responses Dec 2

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    i mean sometimes i actually think i might have been born in wrong era or century, there's so much around which is clearly not good, there's so much pace in everything, everyone is...
    LittleCreates LittleCreates 22-25, M 2 Responses 6 days ago

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    I'm an 18yr old female looking for someone to have a female experience with, everything and anything. Someone close or in Niagara Falls NY
    BlueBird88 BlueBird88 18-21, F 1 Response Dec 5

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    I do view women as goddesses and I adore you all. I stand in awe of your shape, your voices, your strengths, and I want to be good to you all. On behalf of the male gender, I...
    CinimonGypsy CinimonGypsy 41-45 1 Response Dec 2

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    I am always told I take the Bible to literal ,,that it is a good story book written and perverted by men ,,, to some extent I agree ,,but in those pages are prophecies Christ...
    rckt148 rckt148 51-55, M Dec 12

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    Man O' Man. When without money, he rides a bicycle; When he has money, he rides an exercise machine. When without money, he walks to earn food; When he has money, he walks to...
    BlueFairy09 BlueFairy09 26-30, F 3 Responses Dec 11

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    My mind is constantly at war with itself. The thoughts that come to me... Always putting myself down. I'm not sure if there's any other way to explain it besides self mental abuse...
    omnomchelsea omnomchelsea 18-21, F Dec 11

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    Let me start off by saying I know nothing about how father-daughter relationships are supposed to be. I grew up quite distantly from my father- albeit under the same roof until I...
    parisjade12 parisjade12 22-25 6 days ago

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