I Think This Is Funny

This is for the little things in life that bring a smile to your face 261 People

    i have a crush on this guy

    and i have decided to pull a Pavlov on him by offering him whenever i saw him this brand of candy he seemed to really like and after a while whenever he saw me he got excited for a second then you could see his expression shift to wondering the why the hell was he so happy to...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    May 18, 2015

    Lol when did this 16-17 year old become my

    daddy??? ...I'm Soooo confused.
    sassycookie sassycookie
    18-21, F
    7 Responses Sep 27, 2015

    I live in my own little world.

    But its ok, they know me here. – Lauren Myracle
    SailorsAngel SailorsAngel
    41-45, F
    Apr 25, 2015

    My family bought a new Christmas tree

    because one of the leg parts was missing for the one we had. The new one we got is a smaller tree but still nice. A few minutes ago, I was taking the old tree out of the closet to add to the junk pile. Well, as I was doing that, the missing leg piece came tumbling out of the...
    ErraticSarcastic ErraticSarcastic
    31-35, F
    2 Responses Dec 17, 2015
    Ashbarg Ashbarg
    16-17, F
    Sep 30, 2014

    I asked God for a bike,

    but I know he doesn't work like that. So I stole one instead and asked for forgiveness.
    jb1853 jb1853
    26-30, M
    Aug 5, 2015
    khem0356 khem0356
    36-40, F
    1 Response Jan 24

    Me and my friend were waiting in the rain

    when I told her about what my cousin always wanted to do so she decided to do it. She went on the road on her knees and looked into the shy and yelled" why god why" and then she came back soaked with water and we stood under our lovely tree which she had also hugged that...
    BrilliantScarlet BrilliantScarlet
    13-15, F
    1 Response May 13, 2015

    American larkiyaan...

    pehele choosna pasand karengi, phir dabwaaengi, phir chatwaaeingi, phir dalwaaeingi.
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    Nov 12, 2015

    My Life Is Like Nintendo

    You are the the moment where you finally have the Final Boss on the ropes and the power goes out. You are the hot dog vendor that puts too little ketchup/mustard. You are the ******* that cuts me off on the freeway. You are the moment where someone takes you way out of context...
    CaptainMurphy CaptainMurphy
    22-25, M
    2 Responses Aug 21, 2013

    with so many dirty jobs the FDA does ,

    I think like Mike Rowe of Dirty Jobs ,they are bored and need someone to come up with them a job ,,,I just heard in the news along with Israel and Palestine at it again,,, but did manage to kill a militant and his family ,Germany found out we have a spy in their ranks ,the...
    rckt148 rckt148
    56-60, M
    1 Response Jul 9, 2014

    The Man Rules

    At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down. Finally, The guys' side of the story. (I must admit, it's pretty good.) We always hear " THE RULES" from the female side Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! Please note...
    amigoodenough amigoodenough
    36-40, F
    5 Responses Nov 25, 2007

    How Many Dogs Does It Take to Change a Light Bulb?

    1. Golden Retriever: the sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole lives ahead of us and your inside worrying about a stupid burned out bulb? 2. Border Collie: just one. And then I'll replace any wiring thats is not up to code. 3. Dachshund: you know I can't...
    amigoodenough amigoodenough
    36-40, F
    2 Responses Nov 25, 2007

    LOL that mini heart-attack you get

    when a friend comes up to you saying "Guess what I heard about you"
    ThisGirlCyndi ThisGirlCyndi
    18-21, F
    5 Responses Jul 12, 2014

    "dear Walter": A Man's Advice Column

    Dear Walter: I hope you can help me here. The other day I set off for work leaving my husband in the house watching the TV as usual. I hadn't gone more than a mile down the road when my engine conked out, and the car shuddered to a halt. I walked back home to get my husband's...
    Vessa Vessa
    41-45, F
    5 Responses May 30, 2011
    Axonos Axonos
    18-21, M
    May 9, 2015

    https://vine.co/v/igHqExqpqH0 HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA XD It's only a few seconds long. Please watch! :D
    HannahSavannah HannahSavannah
    18-21, F
    2 Responses Mar 11
    kenzie0514 kenzie0514
    13-15, F
    Dec 7, 2014

    My Surgeon

    I was thinking about this earlier and it made me laugh. Thought I would share. Four days after my surgery, my surgeon stops by my hospital room to check up on me (make me laugh). I am a tad bit grouchy, but I put on a good face.. the man does own a knife and I may need him...
    Trackcoachred Trackcoachred
    51-55, M
    1 Response Oct 10, 2013
    MissGaga MissGaga
    22-25, F
    4 Responses Aug 22, 2015

    There are three types of people in this world:

    the ones who can count, and those who can't.
    SailorsAngel SailorsAngel
    41-45, F
    Apr 11, 2015
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    1 Response Feb 21
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    Aug 30, 2015

    When you realize every square of toilet paper

    is perforated when we don't use single squares of toilet paper to wipe our ***. Usually we take like 5 squares, so really perforation per square is not needed. The money gained from the cut on perforation can be used to making a higher quality product. Like dying the paper brown...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    1 Response Jul 20, 2014

    The Aardvark's Lair

    He rolled over, tight inside his sleeping log. Ants were plentiful and his tummy was full, but he just knew there had to be more to life.. I know.. he thought to himself, I need another Aardvark to talk to. This made him very happy. Until, he realized that he found Aardvarks to...
    Trackcoachred Trackcoachred
    51-55, M
    1 Response Nov 10, 2013

    I found it when my kid farted.

    I found it funny. I would laugh.
    mother1983 mother1983
    31-35, F
    1 Response Sep 4, 2015

    Einstein vs Mr bean Einstein : you ask me a

    question and I'll ask you another. If I can't answer it I'll give U 1000$ and if U can't answer it you give me 1$ Mr. Bean : ok Einstein : *asks a tough question* Mr. Bean : can't answer it, *gives him 1$* Einstein : now your turn. Mr. Bean : what is the animal that has 4 legs...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    Jun 3, 2015

    My new fave cream cheese is a Greek cream

    cheese, really awesome, light. There was a coupon on the package for a $0.50 off, and as I noticed the expiration date, which said, 12/31/22, I thought, Is this a typo? '22'? No, Wow! It is the first coupon I've EVER seen that has an expiring date in seven YEARS! lol. I just...
    Velvetlacedream Velvetlacedream
    31-35, F
    1 Response Mar 20, 2015

    Looters Prayer

    The Looters PrayerOur father, who art in prison, my mum knows not his name,Thy Riots come, read it in "The Sun"In Birmingham, as it is in London,Give us this day our Welfare bread and forgive us our looting,As we are happy to loot those who defend stuff against us.Lead us not...
    Eastsaxon Eastsaxon
    51-55, M
    1 Response Aug 21, 2011

    You know the saying "once you go black,

    you'll never go back"? Well America went black and they are going back to white lmfao
    MelaynaBaby MelaynaBaby
    26-30, F
    Mar 1

    Killed professor Arnold.

    Friggan love professor Arnold.
    deademotion11 deademotion11
    22-25, M
    Dec 20, 2015

    ever wonder why men snore

    when sleeping on their back? Well, their balls fall over their ******* and causes them to vapor lock!
    littlefroghere littlefroghere
    41-45, F
    2 Responses Aug 7, 2015

    Isn't it funny that if you look back far enough,

    things look like they happened to somebody else, like that was not you back then, like it was somebody else? Like watching a movie.
    ManOnTheMoon68 ManOnTheMoon68
    46-50, M
    Mar 26

    When someone says "youre dumb"

    when actually it's not hard to point out they're wrong, or in this case prove their hypocrisy.
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    Apr 14, 2015

    I always come all excited telling someone: DID

    YOU HEAR THAT NEW AMAZING SONG!!!!! ... and then it turns out that the song was first released in 2005 or something O.o Why am I always last to learn about things O.o
    MissGaga MissGaga
    22-25, F
    1 Response Jun 30, 2015

    someday my snooze alarm is going to eventually

    say "Get up you lazy *****!"
    littlefroghere littlefroghere
    41-45, F
    2 Responses Feb 11

    i answered the door this morning,

    and a 6 foot beetle punched me in the face and called me a c u next Tuesday apparently, there's a nasty bug going round
    littlefroghere littlefroghere
    41-45, F
    Feb 5

    Idk why I find this so funny O.

    o http://youtu.be/ndsaoMFz9J4
    tommy2207 tommy2207
    18-21, M
    Oct 30, 2015

    I was napping and my sister was screaming in

    the dream, I am not sure at whom exactly she was screaming but I could hear her loud voice in my dream, then I woke up because she was being very loud LOL This is the first time I know that I could actually wake up when someone is being loud in the dream. If any of you visit...
    MissGaga MissGaga
    22-25, F
    1 Response Sep 4, 2015

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?

    v=hOkD-uRCGnM Watch the video it's so funny
    isawfxingalaxies isawfxingalaxies
    18-21, F
    Jun 23, 2015

    I told my colleague before

    that I have a 'secret' social network site that i am addicted to. He makes some jokes about it from time to time, so today he was asking me if I am ever going to tell him about it. Of course I told him there is no way on earth I am telling him, so he was like: Oh so you are...
    MissGaga MissGaga
    22-25, F
    3 Responses Apr 26, 2015

    Difference Between Potential And Reality."

    A boy came home from school one day. His father asked him how his day was and the boy said, "Well Dad, I looked stupid because I did not know the difference between potential and reality." His dad says, "Well son, go ask your mother if she would sleep with our next door neighbor...
    wendu44 wendu44
    18-21, F
    1 Response Nov 23, 2012

    Men ( boys) post about being lonely ,

    horny, lost, curious, amused etc and get DISSED by men and women alike. Severely derided and slammed .'Pervert', 'good luck', 'not here', nice try ******* ' 'who gives a ****' etc. Women ( girls ) say almost anything at all about any topic whatsoever and get immediate responses...
    suckafool suckafool
    31-35, M
    Feb 18, 2015

    I was @ the check out at Walmart with a box of

    tampons, bottle of Advil, and a giant chocolate bar. The cashier asked how I was this evening...REALLY?!!
    littlefroghere littlefroghere
    41-45, F
    1 Response Jun 27, 2015

    This situation never fails to make me laugh out

    loud while I am all alone. I know this guy who is a little dumb, he once wanted to call in sick, what was his excuse? He messaged his boss saying that he is having a heart attack !!! (The funny thing is that he was serious, he was not being silly). Like if someone is having a...
    MissGaga MissGaga
    22-25, F
    Jun 16, 2015

    So the very first time I met the girl

    that would one day become my wife, I stuck my foot in my mouth in a big way...I had been working overnights for about a year when I noticed that we had a new girl working with us & I thought she was absolutely beautiful...When the time came for a fellow co-worker to introduce us...
    Jewelina Jewelina
    31-35, T
    2 Responses Dec 18, 2015

    http://mrconservative.

    com/2015/11/67330-breaking-isis-promises-to-attack-texas-we-will-kill-christians/ Why? Because everyone in Texas owns a gun. Little girls own guns here. They don't stand a chance. I say bring it. I'm sure my fellow Texans will love the target practice.
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    Nov 26, 2015
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    Jan 15

    .. So today, my worst fear was realised .

    .. I entered the men’s room by accident! I had just finished a lengthy exam, was pretty tired, I had a headache, was drowsy and dizzy, I knew the rest room next to the hall was the ladies room; I am sure I used it this morning!!! I didn’t even look (although usually, I...
    MissGaga MissGaga
    22-25, F
    4 Responses Jun 6, 2015
    SailorsAngel SailorsAngel
    41-45, F
    Apr 12, 2015
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