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I Think This Is Funny

This is for the little things in life that bring a smile to your face 193 People

    Murphey's Law

    ANYTHING THAT CAN GO WRONG, WILL GO WRONG Anything good in life is either illegal, immoral or fattening. It is morally wrong to allow suckers to keep their money. The light at the end of the tunnel is the headlamp of an oncoming train. Celibacy is not hereditary...
    amigoodenough amigoodenough 36-40, F 9 Responses Dec 22, 2007

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    kenzie0514 kenzie0514 13-15, F Dec 7, 2014

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    OnlyOneChiquita OnlyOneChiquita 41-45, F 5 Responses Apr 1, 2010

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    So I call up this institute today

    and I tell them that I spoke to them this morning but I never heard back from them, the guy on the phone said: Oh yeah I remember you, you are Stephan, we were going to call you back. Me: Do I sound to you like someone who's called Stephan? Him: Idk, is your name Stephan? Me...
    MissGaga MissGaga 22-25, F 1 Response Mar 31

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    When a girl says she wants to be friends with

    benefits, I always ask if that includes dental insurance.
    TCL009 TCL009 41-45, F 2 Responses Apr 25

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    Something is very disturbing about the fact

    that I think of a 90 year old Queen's accent to be 'sexy' (♥‿♥) ........................ O.o
    MissGaga MissGaga 22-25, F 2 Responses Apr 12

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    Saw a church sign online recently "Stop,

    Drop, and Roll don't work in Hell ..."
    Valentindelapontes Valentindelapontes 41-45, M Mar 28

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    Ashbarg Ashbarg 13-15, F 2 Responses Sep 30, 2014

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    https://m.facebook.com/story.

    php?story_fbid=1526125600861650&id=1318800798260799
    MsAnonymous1 MsAnonymous1 18-21, F Sep 29, 2014

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    The Man Rules

    At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down. Finally, The guys' side of the story. (I must admit, it's pretty good.) We always hear " THE RULES" from the female side Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! Please note...
    amigoodenough amigoodenough 36-40, F 5 Responses Nov 25, 2007

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    Difference Between Potential And Reality."

    A boy came home from school one day. His father asked him how his day was and the boy said, "Well Dad, I looked stupid because I did not know the difference between potential and reality." His dad says, "Well son, go ask your mother if she would sleep with our next door neighbor...
    wendu44 wendu44 18-21, F 1 Response Nov 23, 2012

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    I am not searching for my other half

    because I am not a half.
    TCL009 TCL009 41-45, F Mar 29

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    I told my colleague before

    that I have a 'secret' social network site that i am addicted to. He makes some jokes about it from time to time, so today he was asking me if I am ever going to tell him about it. Of course I told him there is no way on earth I am telling him, so he was like: Oh so you are...
    MissGaga MissGaga 22-25, F 2 Responses Apr 26

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    RoseC67 RoseC67 46-50, F 3 Responses Jan 12

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    TCL009 TCL009 41-45, F Apr 3

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    carameldaisy carameldaisy 18-21, F 3 Responses 3 days ago

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    If you're too open-minded,

    your brains will fall out.
    TCL009 TCL009 41-45, F Apr 20

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    When someone says "youre dumb"

    when actually it's not hard to point out they're wrong, or in this case prove their hypocrisy.
    Hopeisinme Hopeisinme 18-21, F Apr 14

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    My new fave cream cheese is a Greek cream

    cheese, really awesome, light. There was a coupon on the package for a $0.50 off, and as I noticed the expiration date, which said, 12/31/22, I thought, Is this a typo? '22'? No, Wow! It is the first coupon I've EVER seen that has an expiring date in seven YEARS! lol. I just...
    joydream joydream 31-35, F 1 Response Mar 20

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    BeautyLover1 BeautyLover1 18-21, F Apr 28

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    My Surgeon

    I was thinking about this earlier and it made me laugh. Thought I would share. Four days after my surgery, my surgeon stops by my hospital room to check up on me (make me laugh). I am a tad bit grouchy, but I put on a good face.. the man does own a knife and I may need him...
    Trackcoachred Trackcoachred 51-55, M 1 Response Oct 10, 2013

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    How Many Dogs Does It Take to Change a Light Bulb?

    1. Golden Retriever: the sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole lives ahead of us and your inside worrying about a stupid burned out bulb? 2. Border Collie: just one. And then I'll replace any wiring thats is not up to code. 3. Dachshund: you know I can't...
    amigoodenough amigoodenough 36-40, F 2 Responses Nov 25, 2007

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    Looters Prayer

    The Looters PrayerOur father, who art in prison, my mum knows not his name,Thy Riots come, read it in "The Sun"In Birmingham, as it is in London,Give us this day our Welfare bread and forgive us our looting,As we are happy to loot those who defend stuff against us.Lead us not...
    Eastsaxon Eastsaxon 51-55, M 2 Responses Aug 21, 2011

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    Junk is something you've kept

    for years and throw away three weeks before you need it.
    TCL009 TCL009 41-45, F Apr 20

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    Men ( boys) post about being lonely ,

    horny, lost, curious, amused etc and get DISSED by men and women alike. Severely derided and slammed .'Pervert', 'good luck', 'not here', nice try ******* ' 'who gives a ****' etc. Women ( girls ) say almost anything at all about any topic whatsoever and get immediate responses...
    suckafool suckafool 31-35, M 1 Response Feb 18

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    Me and my friend were waiting in the rain

    when I told her about what my cousin always wanted to do so she decided to do it. She went on the road on her knees and looked into the shy and yelled" why god why" and then she came back soaked with water and we stood under our lovely tree which she had also hugged that...
    BrilliantScarlet BrilliantScarlet 13-15, F 1 Response May 13

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    When you realize every square of toilet paper

    is perforated when we don't use single squares of toilet paper to wipe our ***. Usually we take like 5 squares, so really perforation per square is not needed. The money gained from the cut on perforation can be used to making a higher quality product. Like dying the paper brown...
    TheSmartestManOnEarth TheSmartestManOnEarth 16-17, M 2 Responses Jul 20, 2014

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    Have you heard that that Pope Francis,

    after a recent visit to the Philippines(a country that is about 85% Catholic), said that "Catholics should not feel obligated to be like rabbits" regarding their breeding habits? Of course, he hasn't changed his or the Church's stance that contraception is unacceptable and...
    SavannahAnsley SavannahAnsley 41-45, F 5 Responses Jan 22

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    I live in my own little world.

    But its ok, they know me here. – Lauren Myracle
    TCL009 TCL009 41-45, F 1 Response Apr 25

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    TCL009 TCL009 41-45, F 1 Response Apr 12

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    Axonos Axonos 18-21, M 1 Response May 9

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    Christmas parties are like a box of chocolates.

    ..you never know want your gonna get, hahaha. My mom went to a Christmas party and she got a massive box of chocolates, haha.
    rottenroses rottenroses 16-17, F 1 Response Dec 15, 2014

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    Ever wonder what happens behind closed doors of

    Barbie & Ken? http://www.incrediblethings.com/art-design/sadness-barbie-ken-behind-the-scenes/
    TCL009 TCL009 41-45, F Apr 9

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    just about a week ago i fell off the train

    platform on to the tracks funny thin is i wasn't scared just the opposite.
    lamorrie lamorrie 18-21 Dec 29, 2014

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    People think they know everything❗️ We

    have to live like we know nothing, be humble..too many "knows it all" out there, when we know nothing at the same time..we complete each other in this world..If we all use together all the positive we know, this world would be different! ☀️
    Katie419 Katie419 22-25, F Nov 25, 2014

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    "dear Walter": A Man's Advice Column

    Dear Walter: I hope you can help me here. The other day I set off for work leaving my husband in the house watching the TV as usual. I hadn't gone more than a mile down the road when my engine conked out, and the car shuddered to a halt. I walked back home to get my husband's...
    Vessa Vessa 41-45, F 6 Responses May 30, 2011

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    My Life Is Like Nintendo

    You are the the moment where you finally have the Final Boss on the ropes and the power goes out. You are the hot dog vendor that puts too little ketchup/mustard. You are the ******* that cuts me off on the freeway. You are the moment where someone takes you way out of context...
    CaptainMurphy CaptainMurphy 22-25, M 2 Responses Aug 21, 2013

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    Found out bleach in the dishwasher foams up.

    I have it all over the floor lol
    littlefroghere littlefroghere 41-45, F Apr 11

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    LOL that mini heart-attack you get

    when a friend comes up to you saying "Guess what I heard about you"
    ThisGirlCyndi ThisGirlCyndi 16-17, F 6 Responses Jul 12, 2014

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    I was walking down the street this afternoon

    and the sun just hit my eyes, so I almost closed my eyes with a funny expression on my face (I didn’t see it of course, but I think it was funny), there was this guy facing me who started smiling at me, I think he thought I was smiling at him with this expression on my face, I...
    MissGaga MissGaga 22-25, F Dec 27, 2014

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    The Aardvark's Lair

    He rolled over, tight inside his sleeping log. Ants were plentiful and his tummy was full, but he just knew there had to be more to life.. I know.. he thought to himself, I need another Aardvark to talk to. This made him very happy. Until, he realized that he found Aardvarks to...
    Trackcoachred Trackcoachred 51-55, M 1 Response Nov 10, 2013

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    The Wiggletushie Family Portrait

    Pretty sure thats Wilmaaa's great grandpa,  Cletus "Cooter" Wiggletushie on the end. Wasn't he a handsome devil???
    OnlyOneChiquita OnlyOneChiquita 41-45, F 3 Responses Apr 9, 2010

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    I'm on here posting about two of the worst

    weeks of my life. Watching someone I love die. Watching family alienate and accuse me of stealing from the deceased but I still get people saying hi wanna be friends? Or even others who wanna be there and supportive and the message sounds hollow and stiff. Sorry about that. Or...
    katariffik katariffik 31-35, F 3 Responses Dec 15, 2014

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    There are three types of people in this world:

    the ones who can count, and those who can't.
    TCL009 TCL009 41-45, F Apr 11

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    Cemetery Music An American tourist in Vienna

    is walking through a graveyard and all of a sudden he hears music. No one is around, so he starts searching for the source. He finally locates the origin and finds it is coming from a grave with a headstone that reads "Ludwig van Beethoven, 1770-1827". Then he realizes that...
    Emnelyn Emnelyn 56-60, F 1 Response Oct 13, 2014

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    i have a crush on this guy

    and i have decided to pull a Pavlov on him by offering him whenever i saw him this brand of candy he seemed to really like and after a while whenever he saw me he got excited for a second then you could see his expression shift to wondering the why the hell was he so happy to...
    SecretsOut14 SecretsOut14 18-21, F 2 Responses 4 days ago

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