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I Think This Is Funny

This is for the little things in life that bring a smile to your face 215 People

    "dear Walter": A Man's Advice Column

    Dear Walter: I hope you can help me here. The other day I set off for work leaving my husband in the house watching the TV as usual. I hadn't gone more than a mile down the road when my engine conked out, and the car shuddered to a halt. I walked back home to get my husband's...
    Vessa Vessa 41-45, F 6 Responses May 30, 2011

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    lostcause0foad lostcause0foad 36-40, M 3 days ago

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    I asked God for a bike,

    but I know he doesn't work like that. So I stole one instead and asked for forgiveness.
    jb1853 jb1853 26-30, M Aug 5

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    I was @ the check out at Walmart with a box of

    tampons, bottle of Advil, and a giant chocolate bar. The cashier asked how I was this evening...REALLY?!!
    littlefroghere littlefroghere 41-45, F 1 Response Jun 27

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    Ever wonder what happens behind closed doors of

    Barbie & Ken? http://www.incrediblethings.com/art-design/sadness-barbie-ken-behind-the-scenes/
    TheCunylinguist TheCunylinguist 41-45, F Apr 9

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    Axonos Axonos 18-21, M 1 Response May 9

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    The Wiggletushie Family Portrait

    Pretty sure thats Wilmaaa's great grandpa,  Cletus "Cooter" Wiggletushie on the end. Wasn't he a handsome devil???
    OnlyOneChiquita OnlyOneChiquita 41-45, F 3 Responses Apr 9, 2010

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    How Many Dogs Does It Take to Change a Light Bulb?

    1. Golden Retriever: the sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole lives ahead of us and your inside worrying about a stupid burned out bulb? 2. Border Collie: just one. And then I'll replace any wiring thats is not up to code. 3. Dachshund: you know I can't...
    amigoodenough amigoodenough 36-40, F 2 Responses Nov 25, 2007

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    TheCunylinguist TheCunylinguist 41-45, F Apr 3

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    The Man Rules

    At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down. Finally, The guys' side of the story. (I must admit, it's pretty good.) We always hear " THE RULES" from the female side Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! Please note...
    amigoodenough amigoodenough 36-40, F 5 Responses Nov 25, 2007

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    The Aardvark's Lair

    He rolled over, tight inside his sleeping log. Ants were plentiful and his tummy was full, but he just knew there had to be more to life.. I know.. he thought to himself, I need another Aardvark to talk to. This made him very happy. Until, he realized that he found Aardvarks to...
    Trackcoachred Trackcoachred 51-55, M 1 Response Nov 10, 2013

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    If you're too open-minded,

    your brains will fall out.
    TheCunylinguist TheCunylinguist 41-45, F Apr 20

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    Have you heard that that Pope Francis,

    after a recent visit to the Philippines(a country that is about 85% Catholic), said that "Catholics should not feel obligated to be like rabbits" regarding their breeding habits? Of course, he hasn't changed his or the Church's stance that contraception is unacceptable and...
    SavannahAnsley SavannahAnsley 41-45, F 4 Responses Jan 22

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    This situation never fails to make me laugh out

    loud while I am all alone. I know this guy who is a little dumb, he once wanted to call in sick, what was his excuse? He messaged his boss saying that he is having a heart attack !!! (The funny thing is that he was serious, he was not being silly). Like if someone is having a...
    MissGaga MissGaga 22-25, F Jun 16

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    https://www.youtube.com/watch?

    v=hOkD-uRCGnM Watch the video it's so funny
    isawfxingalaxies isawfxingalaxies 18-21, F Jun 23

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    http://i100.independent.

    co.uk/article/can-we-guess-your-gender-based-on-what-you-hate--ZJqjfnotVl so...are you a man or a woman?
    samy666 samy666 18-21, F 1 Response Aug 16

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    When you realize every square of toilet paper

    is perforated when we don't use single squares of toilet paper to wipe our ***. Usually we take like 5 squares, so really perforation per square is not needed. The money gained from the cut on perforation can be used to making a higher quality product. Like dying the paper brown...
    TheSmartestManOnEarth TheSmartestManOnEarth 18-21, M 2 Responses Jul 20, 2014

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    I told my colleague before

    that I have a 'secret' social network site that i am addicted to. He makes some jokes about it from time to time, so today he was asking me if I am ever going to tell him about it. Of course I told him there is no way on earth I am telling him, so he was like: Oh so you are...
    MissGaga MissGaga 22-25, F 3 Responses Apr 26

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    with so many dirty jobs the FDA does ,

    I think like Mike Rowe of Dirty Jobs ,they are bored and need someone to come up with them a job ,,,I just heard in the news along with Israel and Palestine at it again,,, but did manage to kill a militant and his family ,Germany found out we have a spy in their ranks ,the...
    rckt148 rckt148 56-60, M 1 Response Jul 9, 2014

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    Found out bleach in the dishwasher foams up.

    I have it all over the floor lol
    littlefroghere littlefroghere 41-45, F Apr 11

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    Einstein vs Mr bean Einstein : you ask me a

    question and I'll ask you another. If I can't answer it I'll give U 1000$ and if U can't answer it you give me 1$ Mr. Bean : ok Einstein : *asks a tough question* Mr. Bean : can't answer it, *gives him 1$* Einstein : now your turn. Mr. Bean : what is the animal that has 4 legs...
    SecretsOut14 SecretsOut14 18-21, F 1 Response Jun 3

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    ever wonder why men snore

    when sleeping on their back? Well, their balls fall over their ******* and causes them to vapor lock!
    littlefroghere littlefroghere 41-45, F 2 Responses Aug 7

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    So I call up this institute today

    and I tell them that I spoke to them this morning but I never heard back from them, the guy on the phone said: Oh yeah I remember you, you are Stephan, we were going to call you back. Me: Do I sound to you like someone who's called Stephan? Him: Idk, is your name Stephan? Me...
    MissGaga MissGaga 22-25, F 1 Response Mar 31

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    .. So today, my worst fear was realised .

    .. I entered the men’s room by accident! I had just finished a lengthy exam, was pretty tired, I had a headache, was drowsy and dizzy, I knew the rest room next to the hall was the ladies room; I am sure I used it this morning!!! I didn’t even look (although usually, I...
    MissGaga MissGaga 22-25, F 5 Responses Jun 6

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    Men ( boys) post about being lonely ,

    horny, lost, curious, amused etc and get DISSED by men and women alike. Severely derided and slammed .'Pervert', 'good luck', 'not here', nice try ******* ' 'who gives a ****' etc. Women ( girls ) say almost anything at all about any topic whatsoever and get immediate responses...
    suckafool suckafool 31-35, M 1 Response Feb 18

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    I always come all excited telling someone: DID

    YOU HEAR THAT NEW AMAZING SONG!!!!! ... and then it turns out that the song was first released in 2005 or something O.o Why am I always last to learn about things O.o
    MissGaga MissGaga 22-25, F 1 Response Jun 30

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    My Life Is Like Nintendo

    You are the the moment where you finally have the Final Boss on the ropes and the power goes out. You are the hot dog vendor that puts too little ketchup/mustard. You are the ******* that cuts me off on the freeway. You are the moment where someone takes you way out of context...
    CaptainMurphy CaptainMurphy 22-25, M 2 Responses Aug 21, 2013

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    So I was sharing a tub of pineapple sherbet

    with the man I take care of..he had his side and I had mine. I was using a heavy duty plastic spoon so I couldn't get much onto my spoon. He had a nice heavy duty stainless steel spoon with a long handle. I'd get little bites and I saw him digging very deep on his side and I...
    mguinm mguinm 41-45, F 2 Responses Jun 13

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    i have a crush on this guy

    and i have decided to pull a Pavlov on him by offering him whenever i saw him this brand of candy he seemed to really like and after a while whenever he saw me he got excited for a second then you could see his expression shift to wondering the why the hell was he so happy to...
    SecretsOut14 SecretsOut14 18-21, F 3 Responses May 18

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    LOL that mini heart-attack you get

    when a friend comes up to you saying "Guess what I heard about you"
    ThisGirlCyndi ThisGirlCyndi 18-21, F 6 Responses Jul 12, 2014

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    Junk is something you've kept

    for years and throw away three weeks before you need it.
    TheCunylinguist TheCunylinguist 41-45, F Apr 20

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    kenzie0514 kenzie0514 13-15, F Dec 7, 2014

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    Looters Prayer

    The Looters PrayerOur father, who art in prison, my mum knows not his name,Thy Riots come, read it in "The Sun"In Birmingham, as it is in London,Give us this day our Welfare bread and forgive us our looting,As we are happy to loot those who defend stuff against us.Lead us not...
    Eastsaxon Eastsaxon 51-55, M 2 Responses Aug 21, 2011

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    I thought my friends would get a kick out of

    this little story since it's "alien" related and this happened long before my reputation has grown to be known as the eye of alien origin.  I stopped by the local farmers market on the way home from the dentist one day and I was in the vegetable section when I noticed a...
    mguinm mguinm 41-45, F 4 Responses Jun 11

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    When a girl says she wants to be friends with

    benefits, I always ask if that includes dental insurance.
    TheCunylinguist TheCunylinguist 41-45, F 2 Responses Apr 25

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    Difference Between Potential And Reality."

    A boy came home from school one day. His father asked him how his day was and the boy said, "Well Dad, I looked stupid because I did not know the difference between potential and reality." His dad says, "Well son, go ask your mother if she would sleep with our next door neighbor...
    wendu44 wendu44 18-21, F 1 Response Nov 23, 2012

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    BeautyLover1 BeautyLover1 18-21, F Apr 28

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    Me and my friend were waiting in the rain

    when I told her about what my cousin always wanted to do so she decided to do it. She went on the road on her knees and looked into the shy and yelled" why god why" and then she came back soaked with water and we stood under our lovely tree which she had also hugged that...
    BrilliantScarlet BrilliantScarlet 13-15, F 1 Response May 13

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    I live in my own little world.

    But its ok, they know me here. – Lauren Myracle
    TheCunylinguist TheCunylinguist 41-45, F 1 Response Apr 25

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    There are three types of people in this world:

    the ones who can count, and those who can't.
    TheCunylinguist TheCunylinguist 41-45, F Apr 11

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    MissGaga MissGaga 22-25, F 5 Responses Aug 22

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    Something is very disturbing about the fact

    that I think of a 90 year old Queen's accent to be 'sexy' (♥‿♥) ........................ O.o
    MissGaga MissGaga 22-25, F 2 Responses Apr 12

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    Ashbarg Ashbarg 13-15, F 2 Responses Sep 30, 2014

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    My Surgeon

    I was thinking about this earlier and it made me laugh. Thought I would share. Four days after my surgery, my surgeon stops by my hospital room to check up on me (make me laugh). I am a tad bit grouchy, but I put on a good face.. the man does own a knife and I may need him...
    Trackcoachred Trackcoachred 51-55, M 1 Response Oct 10, 2013

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    When someone says "youre dumb"

    when actually it's not hard to point out they're wrong, or in this case prove their hypocrisy.
    xcix xcix 18-21, F 1 Response Apr 14

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    TheCunylinguist TheCunylinguist 41-45, F Apr 12

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