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I Tried to Commit Suicide

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 157 People

    I Hid It So Well

    Some days all I want to do is fall asleep and I fall asleep praying that I won't wake up. Shaking with fear as I hold this gun to my head The last things I remember Were all the lies you said I go into the kitchen Quietly steal a knife I press it against my chest hoping to end...
    HoldontoHope HoldontoHope 18-21, F May 10, 2012

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    I never thought this would be me.

    Suicide. The word holds pain. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. I'm here like you. I tried to kill myself. Before, I would never talk down on suicidal people, never. But I would always lack sympathy for them. I just figured that suicide is not the only answer. And I'm now a...
    IWillMakeYouThink IWillMakeYouThink 22-25, F 1 Response Jun 15, 2014

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    i planned it three times.

    on time, last year in the beginning of February 2013, i tried it. i failed. And now i know how difficult it is. I guuess nearly impossible for one who is absolutely scared of pain. So i dont think i try it again. But every evening, when i go to bed, i hope that i wont wake up...
    Crown63 Crown63 51-55, M 2 Responses Sep 15, 2014

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    Don't really remember

    when it happened. It was probably when I was 6-9 years old? I remembered that I went to the kitchen and took the kitchen knife. I pointed the knife towards my stomach and tried to stab/kill myself for no reason. Weirdly, I had never been exposed to images or ideas of suicide or...
    Dove06 Dove06 18-21, F Nov 29, 2014

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    I tried to commit suicide 9 times.

    I tried to kill myself twice with a rope, once trying to stab myself in the chest, another time attempting to choke or drown myself. There were other times I had close contact with purposely getting into car accidents. My life is really ****** up.
    AdamBinx AdamBinx 22-25, M Mar 19, 2014

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    My Time...

    It all started with this girl... It usually does. We were together for about 5 years and I thought we where very happy. Well let me rephrase that, I thought she was happy. I was at the time. I was going to ask for her hand in marriage. Well on our fifth year anniversary I waited...
    ForgetableMe ForgetableMe 26-30, M 1 Response Dec 28, 2010

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    Not The Highlight Of My Life

    Everyone has challenges in their life. I have had my fair share. I am not great at letting go of emotions, or allowing any person close enough to me to actually let them in, trust them enough to confide. Each person I have chose to let in - I do not think they were mistakes, I...
    NeopolitanSkye NeopolitanSkye 36-40, F 2 Responses Feb 29, 2012

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    When i was 15 i grabbed my dads gun

    that he had in his cabnit i put it to my head and prayed i go to heaven but when i was about to pull the trigger my sister maria saw me and tackeled me to the ground and threw the gun on the bed i begged her with tears in my eyes to give me the gun but she said no crying she...
    Nikki978 Nikki978 18-21, F Apr 5, 2014

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    i don't really talk about this

    because it still upsets me that it didn't work. i took what i had left which was 14 200mg naproxen pills. i swallowed them all and went to sleep hoping i wouldn't wake up after , but i did i woke up in the morning in time for school with a headache and my stomach just burned. no...
    rosechild rosechild 18-21, F 3 Responses Aug 30, 2014

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    I Almost Died

    I am almost 30 years old now, but a year and a half ago I almost died. I was going through some major depression and the guy I was with made me feel really bad about myself. He made me believe I didn't have a reason to live and so that is how I ended up thinking. I ended...
    theprincess2009 theprincess2009 26-30 5 Responses Feb 9, 2009

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    I joined this site a few months ago in November.

    If you look at my account, you'll see two posts dated November 12th, and maybe a bit of activity that day and the next. It helped to share those stories; they're a deep part of me. It's also pretty evident that I was profoundly depressed when I wrote them. More so than I...
    mercrutio mercrutio 22-25, M Feb 27, 2014

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    Just Got Out

    I was trying to explain how the desire to kill yourself makes you feel. I said it was like that scene in the Incredibles where Mr. Incredible sneaks into the room where the computers are to find out what's going on on the island and when he escapes, black balls of sticky mess get...
    PursyMarr PursyMarr 22-25, F 1 Response Feb 9, 2011

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    Sometimes It's O.k. to Be a Failure, Or Why You Should Lay Out Your Clothes the Night Before...

    The sun was shining, it was beautiful outside.  I had to get ready for work!  Hurry, hurry, don't be late.  I dreaded sitting in traffic with the pain inside me.  Pain was my constant companion. I had called and wished someone a very happy birthday.  I...
    aftermath aftermath 61-65, F 10 Responses Jul 1, 2008

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    Why I Bother

    For me lack of friends I am emotionally close to or that I can hang out with often gets me down and triggers my depression. At times I feel like I will never find people that want to be around me that I can really be close to. Thoughts like this don't take long to develop into...
    nother nother 22-25, F Jul 1, 2012

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    Such a Failure

    July 4th weekend I tried. I went to the pharmacy, picked up my Rx for ambien, went home and downed the whole thing. I slept for 3 days, woke up, realized it was Monday and I had to get to work - to the job that just days earlier I found out I was being laid off from. I...
    Shonnie Shonnie 22-25, F 3 Responses Jul 30, 2008

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    December 16,2011

    It's Been A Year And Three Months That I Have Been Struggling With Depression.Ever Since The Whole Thing With Kalin,I Totally Lost All Control Of Me.Everything Just Seemed To Fall Apart After That.I Started Failing,Having Bad Nightmares,Becoming Aggresive And Extremely Emotional...
    BlackroseVsWhiterose BlackroseVsWhiterose 16-17, F 3 Responses May 2, 2012

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    On April 13, 2013, I made my third attempt to

    commit suicide. I overdosed on my anti depressants, regretted it, and called an ambulance. I went to the hospital where I tripped balls for almost 24 hours, in an agonizing stupor. After that, I was sent to a psychiatric institute. In a five day time, I slept more than I was...
    Reven676 Reven676 22-25, M Feb 23, 2014

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    In Another Life

    I don't talk about this era of my life. It was so long ago that when I look back, it's almost like looking at someone else's life. Yet, it was't someone else...it was me. A very lost, dark, disturbed, and suicidal me. My initial depression didn't begin as such a heavy oppression...
    LG76 LG76 36-40, F 16 Responses Apr 22, 2012

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    It's Been A Year.

    I can't remember the date, but the day was Tuesday, January 2012. I had an okay day, until the ending. I was in school, about to get signed up for my driver's license class. My parents were on their way, unsuspecting of anything. But I mean, no one expected it. Not even me. But...
    decembersnow decembersnow 18-21, F Jan 22, 2013

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    A Few Times

    I tried on several occasions. Would I do it again, I'd like to say no, but the honest answer is probabaly yes. When I do it, it's like a compulsion, an urge, I can't fight it...I have tried. Most of the time I know as soon as I have done something that I have made a mistake and I...
    AWUK AWUK 26-30, F 6 Responses Nov 30, 2007

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    I Tried

    It's been months since I tried committing suicide. I was in the back of my great grandfather's van with most of the seats down, hose connected from the exhaust pipe to the window with the cracks taped down. I just laid there listening to "My redeemer" on my Ipod. Before I set up...
    2young4marriage 2young4marriage 18-21, F Sep 4, 2013

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    All The Time

    I can't remember how many times. The first time I was seven. In high school, freshman year, tried 19 times in 7 months. When I was 17 I tried once a week. I was abused at home and by my boyfriend. I tried a whole bunch of different ways. I made a list of 500 ways. I tried all of...
    Flags67 Flags67 22-25, F 3 Responses Feb 2, 2013

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    I Tried Lots

    I guess the first time i tried was when i was about 13. I had come out of a year long relationship and all my friends. I really did feel alone, being mocked and teased by everyone in school. I couldn't deal with it. I thought that i would just end it. So i tried. I grabbed every...
    tomb33 tomb33 18-21, M Jun 28, 2013

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    My Story

    I was getting emotionally drained by the abuse of a neighbor above me for 4 years-no joke! I was desperate to move out after 7 years of living there. I also have mental illness and I was heading for another mental breakdown that took me 6 months to fully recover. I became...
    noaht43 noaht43 41-45, T Dec 9, 2012

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    Here I am. Scared to face the world,

    tired of living and with complete hatred towards myself. What's the point of trying anymore? I just want to give up. But how? How do I end it? Once, I just had enough and I wanted it all to just come to an end. I drank the pills one-by-one, each time followed by a sip of...
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Dec 22, 2013

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    To This Day: I Still Have Scars But No More Cuts.

    My dad was really abusive not just verbally but physically too, when ever we got into a fight he would threaten me and then hit me. My mum was always at work so she was never home to do anything about it and when ever she finished work she was always too tired to notice. My...
    shanelly shanelly 16-17, F Jan 28, 2012

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    I Hate Looking Back

    I always wondered what would be the most painful feeling you could expirance. The feeling of dying slow or the worst kind of depression there is. I feel like ive battle some really hard times that im glad I made it through. I was either 16 or 17 when I tried to do it, I had a...
    Unique19 Unique19 18-21, F Dec 5, 2011

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    Related Experiences

    Today my thoughts go out to those heroic members that endured Christmas while trying to process a loved one's suicide. I quietly knight you all and pin an invisible Medal of...
    Tannasheart Tannasheart 51-55, F 1 Response Jan 2

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    Suicide doesn't take away the pain, it gives it to someone else.
    kolga kolga 56-60, F 3 Responses Jan 11

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    I found my dad in the backyard switch swinging from a tree
    GRTaylor GRTaylor 26-30, M 1 Response Jan 6

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    My brother killed himself Dec 5th. I don't know how or where to start getting through this, and I'm scared. I have so many questions. His birthday is November 23rd and I forgot to...
    CanIGetAWhitness CanIGetAWhitness 22-25, F 1 Response Jan 21

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    I think all suicidal people are just Angels wanting to return home...But to someone that 'angel' is their home.
    littlegirl03 littlegirl03 18-21, F 3 days ago

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    I almost committed suicide a few weeks ago. I live on the 9th floor of my building. It was 3 AM and I stared down at the cement below and felt the cold wind taking my breath away...
    theblackparade theblackparade 18-21, F 2 Responses 9 hrs ago

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    I can't believe I'm telling this to strangers but back when I was 14 I was diagnosed with Bipolar and I've been on strong antipsychotics for about 4 years well back in September I...
    AvaDay AvaDay 18-21, F 4 Responses 5 days ago

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    I met Noah and his brother in 2013. We were both in a dark place in our lives and pretty lost. His brother simon was the most beautiful person in the world and kept us both...
    MindlessMatters MindlessMatters 22-25, M 1 Response Jan 16

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    A lot of times actually. I didn't want to be in this world any more. No one loved me No one was there for me. It was so bad even playing music couldn't help me. But then I...
    Kelnea Kelnea 13-15, F 1 Response Jan 18

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    Suicide is no joke. I had a friend successfully commit suicide when he was just 12-years-old. No one saw it coming, he always seemed very happy. He was very kind and respectful, a...
    classAteam classAteam 16-17, F 3 Responses Jan 17

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    It was. . . . almost unexpected. I had always been someone who said that I'd never commit suicide; I loved living and was terrified of the idea of not existing. All of the...
    AzuraSkies AzuraSkies 16-17 3 Responses Jan 4

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    Everyone around me dies. My parents died in a car crash when I was really little. My brother committed suicide when I was 16. And a few months ago, my girlfriend Adrienne committed...
    ThatBitch18 ThatBitch18 18-21, F 2 Responses Jan 23

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    It's hard for me to express this thought the way I intend without sending the wrong message, so bear with me if I don't make sense... Look, I'm not saying that it should be...
    Ztun7856 Ztun7856 16-17, F 3 Responses Jan 13

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    suicide is the most selfish thing anyone could ever do to their friends and family. it's a permanent solution to a temporary problem. all it does is cause intense pain to everyone...
    psychedeliica psychedeliica 18-21, F 3 Responses Jan 16

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    I have read a few comments that have really upset me. To any older person who is in battle and may want to commit suicide, I urge you to reach out and get help to see things in a...
    lookingformyminnion lookingformyminnion 51-55, M 5 Responses Jan 3

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    Hello. This is my first post since the incident. My father committed suicide a month ago as of tomorrow. I am having a difficult time dealing with the fact that he is no longer...
    graciegirl37 graciegirl37 18-21, F 5 Responses Jan 20

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    when the love of my life committed suicide 2 1/2 yrs ago I felt lost for a long time. I went thru a wide range of emotions the lsdt few years but can honestly day I'm ok. losing...
    slovek slovek 22-25, F 2 Responses Jan 21

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    ashlynthewolf I think is her username... this gave me reasons to hate ep. everyone wanted her dead and they kept explaining how it would be an amazing thing if she had. well you...
    inthehiddenshadows inthehiddenshadows 16-17, M 12 Responses Jan 22

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    Because I'd rather die and be at peace than live and be miserable. First suicide attempt was at 7, I was in Grade 2, even then I knew what suicide, what death was. Committed the...
    PantomimeEira PantomimeEira 16-17, F 4 Responses 4 days ago

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    The first time I was 14. I was being molested by my step-dad and I didn't want to ruin my family by coming out about it. I didn't want to deal with the shame of it. I tried to...
    genericidiot genericidiot 16-17, F 1 Response Jan 20

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    How did you guys do it? Please don't give me the motivational bullshit, life isn't good for everyone, which probably includes me, though I appear to have a good life. I don't...
    NatashaRose NatashaRose 18-21, F 13 Responses Jan 21

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