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I Tried to Kill Myself

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 440 People

    Last fall I had horrible anxiety regarding the

    future, specifically the uncertainty surrounding my graduation from college, that escalated into depression. While I had always been an overly anxious person, I had never been depressed before; this made me unequipped and generally unwilling to diagnose myself as such. It was...
    Jorin Jorin
    22-25, F
    Jun 22, 2014

    Like A Bird

    My arms swing free.. i feel the air around me.. my eyes are closed, my head totaly back.. the wind blows around me.. fresh and cold.. its november so its cold.. i smell snow.. it will snow soon. i feel tears over my cheek.. funny, i never cried in public.. but i dont care...
    deleted deleted
    Feb 1, 2013

    I Can't Make It Without Him

    Two months ago, I made a huge mistake and cheated on my boyfriend of 4 years. He found out about it and I confessed to him what had happened, sparing the details. We've been working on making our relationship work and he even proposed to me right afterwards. He said he changed...
    AuntieNaytalist AuntieNaytalist
    2 Responses Oct 30, 2010

    The Ghost of March

    My alarm clock woke up early that day because I had a doctor's appointment. I had run out of Xanax and needed to get a new prescription. When I got to the appointment, I acted like everything was fine, but I said my anxiety was still a problem, so the doctor gave me twice as many...
    AnAugustSunset AnAugustSunset
    22-25, F
    1 Response Jan 28, 2008

    Last night I was tired,

    exhausted & overwhelmed of my life & my body which I hate. Besides of all de illnesses & chronic conditions, so I decided to take more than enough pills to sleep for ever. I was crying to leave the people I love most, but nobody understand me and nobody will, because they will...
    Pather2013 Pather2013
    46-50, M
    Jul 18, 2015

    Feel So Lost

    I have separated from my wife. I am 25 years old. I have two young children. Yesterday I tried to kill myself. I sat in my car and connected a hosepipe to the exhaust. Long story short. After sitting there for nearly an hour, the tape I brought came unstuck. I failed. Now I feel...
    Tim34planb Tim34planb
    22-25, M
    Feb 20, 2013

    The Toughest Time Of My Life!!

    i stood there, feeling sad, depressed , angry and scared!!! i waited and i waited, but i just couldnt do it!! woooosh, the train went right before my eye's!!! it was all too much!! it was the toughest period of my life, in the 3 previous years i had suffered depression, a...
    cowshed123 cowshed123
    36-40, M
    2 Responses Jun 6, 2010

    Im Awake Again...

    I downed almost 210 grams of rat poison, cups full of it. blue and green granules and i started feeling nauseous so i went and lay down on my bed, plan B was choking on my own vomit and dying(saw a friend die that way)....nothing happened. Im still alive. I had 90 grams of it...
    Unmasked Unmasked
    26-30, F
    4 Responses Jun 4, 2013

    24 Sinus Pills, 20 Sleeping Pills, And A Couple Sips Of Sherry

    I tried to end my life a little over a week ago. I guess I knew I was getting to that point. I stopped caring about work, and relationships. I stopped going to counselling or taking care of myself in any way for like a month. I got upset one day because of something that a...
    innerself000 innerself000
    18-21, F
    1 Response Aug 11, 2013

    12 anti anxiety pills,

    4 sleeping pills. boyfriend broke up with me after he found out, didnt even come to the hospital. apperently hes worried i will relapse, so leaving me when i needed him the most seemed like the best option for him. went to his house today to get my things, he kept saying he...
    Gainingsmileslosingweight Gainingsmileslosingweight
    22-25, F
    2 Responses Jan 26, 2014

    I have had depression from

    when I was 10 years old,I never had a happy childhood,I was sexually assaulted by 5 different lesbians when I was only 5 years old,I was bullied and physically abused by teachers and students at school,my parents didn't really care much no matter how much I begged them to take...
    DepressedAngell DepressedAngell
    18-21, F
    Jul 16, 2015

    I haven't tried to kill myself.

    But I Always think of killing myself. I self harm. And I need help. I just feel so alone in this world and I want to have people I can rely on. People I can text and call or FaceTime anytime and get their help. I hate being so lonely all the time.
    Iamsolonely96 Iamsolonely96
    18-21, M
    Mar 24, 2014

    I Was 13

    I couldn't deal with being picked on in school, being sexually abused, being myself. I took a bottle of Tylenol and went to bed. I woke up about 24 hours later feeling godawfully bad. I threw up a lot and was so dizzy and my stomach hurt so badly. My mom thought I had the flu...
    emmy emmy
    18-21, F
    7 Responses Oct 6, 2006

    why doesn't this **** ******* work

    for me! Maybe I should try jumping off a Clift I think I might just do that.
    Youareallbeautiful Youareallbeautiful
    18-21, F
    6 Responses Dec 1, 2014

    almost 4 years ago with a nail gun to my head,

    all because my boyfriend broke up with me and I couldn't find a job. Now I cannot see straight, or walk because my left side is not working properly. I also gained 90 pounds because I don't feel hungry or full. Dumbest thing I've ever done.
    chrismc64 chrismc64
    51-55, F
    May 12, 2014

    I posted a serious story about how I had hit

    rock bottom and tried to kill. Myself. Some heartless individual comes back with a joke. See my human life has no meaning. I really want to thank this person for knocking me down farther than I already am. They'll probably even loan me a gun.
    deleted deleted
    Jun 19, 2014

    My Last Attempt

    I was 28 years old and life held no meaning for me. Haunted by my past though nightmares and fear that just tore at my soul until I didn't even feel alive anymore. I was tired of trying and getting nowhere. When you have serious depression nobody takes what you say...
    college101 college101
    31-35, F
    2 Responses Dec 29, 2009

    And I

     Don't regret it! Because by failing to die got the message loud and clear. And i feel like i'm stronger now, because all this things aren't powerful, i am and god only knows when it's my time to go. I'm no saying that i will not try again, i just can't, because i don't...
    andreinac13 andreinac13
    22-25, F
    1 Response Oct 14, 2008

    I Tried to Kill Myself?

    So i tried to kill myself today... sort of. (apologies for length, i hope it doesn't put too many people off reading to the end) i've been depressed since the age of 16 and i'm 19 now. i've had counselling and stuff before which i guess helped a little. my doctor prescribed...
    4are8you15as16lost23as42me 4are8you15as16lost23as42me
    1 Response Feb 27, 2008


    I've attempted it 2 or 3 times, overdosing, but none of the times were severe. I ended up in hospital after the first one, however after that, when I made the 2nd and 3rd attempts, I didn't tell anyone, because I can't stand hospitals, and didn't want to end up in one again. I...
    sezy sezy
    18-21, F
    Aug 8, 2007

    Warning: Graphic

    Sometimes it feels like you have never once in your life had a good night's sleep. That for twenty-four years you have been constantly shaken into consciousness, gasped awake in your sheets, troubled by light that has made it through the curtains by a throb in your chest by a...
    casettetapes casettetapes
    22-25, M
    5 Responses Nov 15, 2007

    Somebody Died That Night

    It is hard to explain when people try to understand and ask the WHY? of such act. I can't even call it a desire because everything has left you when you get to the point of actually trying to do the act of "killing" yourself. I remember like if it was just today her beautiful...
    OutOfBreath OutOfBreath
    Jun 11, 2013

    Hate My Life.

    Hello. I am a disabled man. I don't see that well. And i am a diabetic. I tried to kill my self last night. But i phoned samaritans. I talked and it helped. I phone them alot. This is why i tryed to kill my self. I am a 20 year old man. I live with my mum my dad dide when i was...
    2012blueboy 2012blueboy
    18-21, M
    6 Responses Jun 16, 2012

    I Just Kept Trying

    My wife had left me a little more than a week before, I had a seizure the day before and didn't feel right the next day on the forth of July. I went to the old apartment after work and started cleaning up the pieces of my old relationship. I kept finding pictures, and letters...
    MrMattSumner MrMattSumner
    31-35, M
    Aug 6, 2013

    Why Not??

    I started feeling depressed when I stared high school. I don't know why, but anyways, towards the end of my sophomore year I was sent to the hospital for suicidal ideation and then two more times for suicide attempts. the first one was more of a cry for help I overdosed on pain...
    Unknown Unknown
    18-21, F
    2 Responses Jun 1, 2007

    If You Dont Die You F****** Wish You Did

    ever since one day my life just went downhill dramatically.i couldnt stop it and didnt know how to handle it. so i began to cut and i would take drugs and drink. it all turned into a ficious cycle. id cut have a smoke sober up fight with rents cut again have a smoke fight with...
    FreakOutLooseControl FreakOutLooseControl
    18-21, F
    3 Responses Aug 25, 2006

    I Tried To Kill Myself, And Thank God It Didn't Work

    Many times in the past I tried to kill myself. It got to the point where I was trying once a week.   Obviously, though, it didn't work. I am SO THANKFUL that I was never able to do it successfully. I now have a wonderful husband, and a life...
    sabergirl08 sabergirl08
    18-21, F
    2 Responses Dec 17, 2009

    A Freakish Mistake

    I wrote this in an email to a friend a while ago...it kind of explains it... "I have had a really hard time the past couple of years that I have been in college. Before college (and my first boyfriend at 17), I was a really strong, pure Christian girl. I was like...
    stillbreathing stillbreathing
    18-21, F
    1 Response Jun 14, 2007


    Took a bottle of Paxil a little over a year ago, just wanted to die. Felt like such an *** when I woke up like 2 hours later with the worst pain I had ever felt in my life...couldn't **** right for a week or two. Probably ****** up my stomach or something I haven't been able to...
    TheEvilCouncil TheEvilCouncil
    22-25, M
    Feb 26, 2013

    Last Night

    I took an overdose. My boyfriend took me to hospital. I failed. Im so selfish.
    Tori91 Tori91
    26-30, F
    Apr 22, 2013

    On the first of January 2015 at about 02:00 I

    were hanging planing on hanging myself, it wasn't the first time, I remember in 2010 that I used to sit in school alone tying nooses in the cafeteria. Never told anyone about these experiences. And I just felt like I needed to tell someone now. As I'm feeling bout doing it again...
    RedLineEngineer RedLineEngineer
    18-21, M
    May 21, 2015

    The Actress

    I was told that I'm a terrible actress. That's not true though. I got you fooled. I'm not happy as people see me. I'm not a bubbly person who tries to make the world better. Behind the mask an costume, I'm just a sad girl who tried ending her life. No one knows, no one cares. In...
    RachelTarver RachelTarver
    Sep 24, 2013

    Is there a word for believing

    that life in general is pointless?
    falsehope9 falsehope9
    Jan 5, 2015

    A Long, Long Time Ago....

    ...but maybe not long ago enough. I won't be doing it again.
    MrsLalaninjacakes MrsLalaninjacakes
    26-30, F
    8 Responses Jun 20, 2010

    Most days i don't know what to do with myself

    and other days i feel as if i can't handle it at all. Yesterday was a day i couldn't handle anything anymore. I was walking out of Kroger and i saw a car coming towards me. I didn't think i just acted i walked out in front of the car and my friend who was with me had pushed me...
    sadbaby103 sadbaby103
    18-21, F
    Sep 7, 2014

    Lately I've been feeling

    so depressed that at one point I thought to myself I've had it. I had a few of my old antidepressant medicine left and I just chugged it. Without thinking I just took it all and yet for some reason I'm still Here. Why?
    VasilisaDra VasilisaDra
    26-30, F
    3 Responses Mar 21, 2014

    I fell in love with my best friend

    who promptly told me he had no intentions of dating me, even after treating me like we were. I had an abortion. I'm 72k in debt. I hate my job, I hate my life and I hate myself.
    mayorofmisfits mayorofmisfits
    26-30, F
    Aug 3, 2014

    December 3, 2014 I swallowed well over 20 pills,

    in an attempt to end my life. The night started off fine. I had a date with my boyfriend, I hung out with my best friend, and I laid in bed until 12. It was a good day. The days before it had been some of the worst in a while. My ex of 3 years had come to me asking me to sit...
    MarisoleLane MarisoleLane
    22-25, F
    Dec 10, 2014

    I Slit My Wrist... After Watching The Last Episode Of Lost.

    I was watching lost and finally got to the last episode. I had drank a bottle of champagne that my landlord bought me for Xmas/New Years. Without any spoilers, I just got so depressed after the ending. I watched all seasons within 3 weeks. I don't have many friends. So thats all...
    Mclrm Mclrm
    1 Response Apr 18, 2013

    I Cheated On My Wife.

    And I regret it for the rest of my life and she found this out from my best friend who I loved for 19 years. It's a she and I tried making my wife happy cause she admit to me that she is bi and would like to try a different sexual encounters. So I am not for it...you guys maybe...
    freddy411 freddy411
    May 9, 2009

    Never Again.

    It has now been 10 years since I tried to kill myself.  I have since been diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder resulting from what could be classified as an 'adverse childhood experience' that lasted until I was 19 years old.  At the age of 19 with nowhere to go, I...
    Supposed2Bhere Supposed2Bhere
    31-35, F
    2 Responses Dec 3, 2011


    not sure where to start,so i will just wade ini have always had a sense of being on the outside of things,even at school being popular+all that sort of stuffi had on several occassions considered harming myself during my school yrs,but chickened out of itthen i hit the bottle...
    geekoftheweek geekoftheweek
    26-30, F
    14 Responses Feb 14, 2011

    Suicide Attempt

    I can't sleep out of fear I hate it i have nightmares everytime I sleep I just got released from hospital for an attempt at my life mostly from lack of sleep, fear, stress, and traumatic depression. Last week I got about a total 6 hour of sleep. God help me, this has been...
    Applelovergod Applelovergod
    5 Responses Sep 22, 2013

    Stopped By a Friend...

    ...whom I had stopped from doing the same earlier 2 years earlier.  This was in high school.  I "saved" this friend from killing himself when he was a freshman (I was a sophomore) and we became best friends.  Rather quickly, the cliched "I want to be...
    Chanteuse1984 Chanteuse1984
    26-30, F
    Jun 20, 2007

    Could Be Dead Right Now

    About a month or so ago I took an overdose, I took 8 different types of tablets: Paracetamol, Anti-Depresants, Mood stablizers, Co-codamol, Day and Night Nurse, Anxiety medication, Ibuprofen and a lot of sleeping pills. I got to hospital in time and had my stomache pupmed. I...
    xEmilyStrangex xEmilyStrangex
    18-21, F
    1 Response Nov 12, 2009

    2007 was the year from hell.

    I got divorced, was homeless, lost a very good friend of 20 years, found out someone had hurt a close family member in a very intimate way for several years, and last but certainly not least, I woke up during surgery, which until I was awake on the table, had been my worst fear...
    Pebbles1982 Pebbles1982
    31-35, F
    4 Responses Jul 30, 2015


    people used to ask me "what did you do last night?" I would often reply "tried to drink and drug myself to death again" Often they would laugh without realizing i was serious. many a time i would  hit the drink and mix drugs not caring if i woke up or not...
    deleted deleted
    1 Response Jan 7, 2008

    I really didn't care.

    Life just kept pushing me. My response was "who cares.screw it. I'll die then." I wish I had succeeded (over the course of trying). I wish I was normal, and could fit in. But I'm not and can't. Even though I hope someday I get to be happy though... I also hope I'll die right now...
    IAimForHonor IAimForHonor
    22-25, M
    Mar 26, 2014

    So Alone

    im not sure where 2 start,but here goes i have always been shy+felt somehow on the outside,even in my own family,i used 2 drink heavily to compensate for this,it got so bad, the other reason i hate my life is i feel like i have never actually acomplished anything in my life of...
    happyukgal happyukgal
    22-25, F
    8 Responses Nov 15, 2010

    I Overdosed. I Survived.

    I tried to kill myself a while back. About two months ago. It was my girlfriend who called the ambulance, and I hate her for it. I wish she had just let me die. Not many people understand what it's like after a suicide attempt. They all just expect you to move on some how and...
    CyanideCola CyanideCola
    18-21, F
    3 Responses May 14, 2013

    Suicidal Since 2nd Grade

    All my life I've been picked on. In 2nd grade, I learned that you could kill yourself, but I didn't know how to really. I nearly drowned, and I hated the fact that I survived. I went back and did the same thing and yet, someone jumped back in the water and pulled me out again. I...
    tazpunkrocker tazpunkrocker
    26-30, F
    3 Responses Aug 28, 2007

    well i tried to kill myself today

    for the 3rd time now i work out 3 days a week and was going to make this look a accident so i got 100 kg and let it sit on my neck i actually here something crack in my neck but long story short i bottled it as always because i dont even have the guts to kill myself **** poor...
    exdx2014 exdx2014
    26-30, M
    Mar 14, 2016

    {Survivalist} Back when I was between the ages

    of 12 and 15, I was diagnosed with severe depression. It was strongly suggested that I take medication for it, see a therapist every single week, and consider staying in a hospital. No one ever really knew when I over-dosed because I was so discreet about it. I was responsible...
    luminescentdanger luminescentdanger
    18-21, M
    1 Response Feb 11, 2014

    It was a Friday in April of 2011.

    I was in fourth period Biology; that was the moment I made my choice. I decided to kill myself. I had struggled with depression since eighth grade and I didn’t see an end to it. There was no bright side in my mind. Around 10:25 am, when I made my decision, I wrote my suicide...
    Nooneknowsmythoughts Nooneknowsmythoughts
    22-25, F
    Jun 24, 2014
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