Post
This experience may contain mature content, as flagged by the community. Please click away if you do not want to see this content, or if you are not of age. To report inappropriate content, please email us.
If you are in a crisis, please call for help: 1-800-273-8255, or 1-800-784-2433 (available 24/7). More resources available here.

I Tried to Kill Myself

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 449 People

    Twice

    And both times just ended in massive medical bills, feeling even more alone than I did before and each time vowing that I would not fail the next time.
    arenaissancewoman arenaissancewoman 31-35, F Feb 12, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Why Not??

    I started feeling depressed when I stared high school. I don't know why, but anyways, towards the end of my sophomore year I was sent to the hospital for suicidal ideation and then two more times for suicide attempts. the first one was more of a cry for help I overdosed on pain...
    Unknown Unknown 18-21, F 2 Responses Jun 1, 2007

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I Slit My Wrist... After Watching The Last Episode Of Lost.

    I was watching lost and finally got to the last episode. I had drank a bottle of champagne that my landlord bought me for Xmas/New Years. Without any spoilers, I just got so depressed after the ending. I watched all seasons within 3 weeks. I don't have many friends. So thats all...
    Mclrm Mclrm 26-30 1 Response Apr 18, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    24 Sinus Pills, 20 Sleeping Pills, And A Couple Sips Of Sherry

    I tried to end my life a little over a week ago. I guess I knew I was getting to that point. I stopped caring about work, and relationships. I stopped going to counselling or taking care of myself in any way for like a month. I got upset one day because of something that a...
    innerself000 innerself000 18-21, F 1 Response Aug 11, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    It was a Friday in April of 2011.

    I was in fourth period Biology; that was the moment I made my choice. I decided to kill myself. I had struggled with depression since eighth grade and I didn’t see an end to it. There was no bright side in my mind. Around 10:25 am, when I made my decision, I wrote my suicide...
    Nooneknowsmythoughts Nooneknowsmythoughts 18-21, F 1 Response Jun 24

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Feel So Lost

    I have separated from my wife. I am 25 years old. I have two young children. Yesterday I tried to kill myself. I sat in my car and connected a hosepipe to the exhaust. Long story short. After sitting there for nearly an hour, the tape I brought came unstuck. I failed. Now I feel...
    Tim34planb Tim34planb 22-25, M Feb 20, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Somebody Died That Night

    It is hard to explain when people try to understand and ask the WHY? of such act. I can't even call it a desire because everything has left you when you get to the point of actually trying to do the act of "killing" yourself. I remember like if it was just today her beautiful...
    OutOfBreath OutOfBreath 26-30 Jun 11, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    3times

    not sure where to start,so i will just wade ini have always had a sense of being on the outside of things,even at school being popular+all that sort of stuffi had on several occassions considered harming myself during my school yrs,but chickened out of itthen i hit the bottle...
    geekoftheweek geekoftheweek 26-30, F 20 Responses Feb 14, 2011

    Your Response

    Cancel

    And I

     Don't regret it! Because by failing to die got the message loud and clear. And i feel like i'm stronger now, because all this things aren't powerful, i am and god only knows when it's my time to go. I'm no saying that i will not try again, i just can't, because i don't...
    andreinac13 andreinac13 22-25, F 1 Response Oct 14, 2008

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Warning: Graphic

    Sometimes it feels like you have never once in your life had a good night's sleep. That for twenty-four years you have been constantly shaken into consciousness, gasped awake in your sheets, troubled by light that has made it through the curtains by a throb in your chest by a...
    casettetapes casettetapes 21-25, M 6 Responses Nov 15, 2007

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Lately I've been feeling

    so depressed that at one point I thought to myself I've had it. I had a few of my old antidepressant medicine left and I just chugged it. Without thinking I just took it all and yet for some reason I'm still Here. Why?
    VasilisaDra VasilisaDra 22-25, F 4 Responses Mar 21

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I Jumped Out Of A Car!

    Hello my name is Lindsay I am 23, married with two beautiful little boys. when I was 14 I was taken advantage of by a 24 year old male and his girlfriend.My husband started heroin and he started to cheat on me and over the years it has made me depressed and soon I started to...
    lshearer62 lshearer62 22-25, F Nov 26, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    So Alone

    im not sure where 2 start,but here goes i have always been shy+felt somehow on the outside,even in my own family,i used 2 drink heavily to compensate for this,it got so bad, the other reason i hate my life is i feel like i have never actually acomplished anything in my life of...
    happyukgal happyukgal 22-25, F 7 Responses Nov 15, 2010

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Six Times Yesterday And Several Times Tonight.

    Why? Because I cannot imagine suffering more than I already do. Now I'm loosing my mind all over again. Voices in my head telling me I even have a ******* mind. They are only an extension of my suffering and pain and emptiness. I don't want to sleep anymore after the masons...
    WhoisChaff WhoisChaff 26-30 4 Responses Dec 6, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Pain Meds And Booze

    Ive known Ive been depressed since i could remeber. A survior of childhoold molestation, physical and emotional abuse I knew i had issues.  Since young I was a cutter and burner.  I was a drug addict and sexually active young.  I was a run away and had been in the 5150...
    Messness Messness 26-30 Mar 15, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    At a really dark time in my life,

    I felt so much pain I wanted to die. I understand fully what goes through someone's mind when they contemplate ending their life. Only when you have experienced complete dispair, can you relate to the thought process but no one should sit in judgement of you.
    xAngiexx xAngiexx 41-45, M 1 Response Jul 7

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Last fall I had horrible anxiety regarding the

    future, specifically the uncertainty surrounding my graduation from college, that escalated into depression. While I had always been an overly anxious person, I had never been depressed before; this made me unequipped and generally unwilling to diagnose myself as such. It was...
    Jorin Jorin 18-21, F Jun 22

    Your Response

    Cancel

    My Last Attempt

    I was 28 years old and life held no meaning for me. Haunted by my past though nightmares and fear that just tore at my soul until I didn't even feel alive anymore. I was tired of trying and getting nowhere. When you have serious depression nobody takes what you say...
    college101 college101 31-35, F 2 Responses Dec 29, 2009

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Me

    I've attempted it 2 or 3 times, overdosing, but none of the times were severe. I ended up in hospital after the first one, however after that, when I made the 2nd and 3rd attempts, I didn't tell anyone, because I can't stand hospitals, and didn't want to end up in one again. I...
    sezy sezy 16-17, F Aug 8, 2007

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Last Night

    I took an overdose. My boyfriend took me to hospital. I failed. Im so selfish.
    Tori91 Tori91 22-25, F Apr 22, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Why Can'T I Get This Off Of My Mind?!

    So I'm not a depressed person, and I'm a firm believer in the fact that everybody has been through some bad **** and there's no excuse for thinking that nobody can relate. I'm a relatively private person (which really sounds strange, considering that I'm posting my problems on...
    Feb 7, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    12 anti anxiety pills,

    4 sleeping pills. boyfriend broke up with me after he found out, didnt even come to the hospital. apperently hes worried i will relapse, so leaving me when i needed him the most seemed like the best option for him. went to his house today to get my things, he kept saying he...
    Gainingsmileslosingweight Gainingsmileslosingweight 18-21, F 2 Responses Jan 26

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I Just Tried To Hang Myself

    I feel like no one wants me or needs me anymore. She just said she hates me. I took a cord and wrapped it around my neck. I eventually took it off, but now I'm scared. I need someone to help me. I've lost myself. I want love.
    karlito2794 karlito2794 18-21, M 2 Responses Feb 18, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Like A Bird

    My arms swing free.. i feel the air around me.. my eyes are closed, my head totaly back.. the wind blows around me.. fresh and cold.. its november so its cold.. i smell snow.. it will snow soon. i feel tears over my cheek.. funny, i never cried in public.. but i dont care...
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Feb 1, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I Cheated On My Wife.

    And I regret it for the rest of my life and she found this out from my best friend who I loved for 19 years. It's a she and I tried making my wife happy cause she admit to me that she is bi and would like to try a different sexual encounters. So I am not for it...you guys maybe...
    freddy411 freddy411 36-40 May 9, 2009

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I haven't tried to kill myself.

    But I Always think of killing myself. I self harm. And I need help. I just feel so alone in this world and I want to have people I can rely on. People I can text and call or FaceTime anytime and get their help. I hate being so lonely all the time.
    Iamsolonely96 Iamsolonely96 18-21, M Mar 24

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Hate My Life.

    Hello. I am a disabled man. I don't see that well. And i am a diabetic. I tried to kill my self last night. But i phoned samaritans. I talked and it helped. I phone them alot. This is why i tryed to kill my self. I am a 20 year old man. I live with my mum my dad dide when i was...
    2012blueboy 2012blueboy 18-21, M 6 Responses Jun 16, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I Overdosed. I Survived.

    I tried to kill myself a while back. About two months ago. It was my girlfriend who called the ambulance, and I hate her for it. I wish she had just let me die. Not many people understand what it's like after a suicide attempt. They all just expect you to move on some how and...
    CyanideCola CyanideCola 18-21, F 1 Response May 14, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    The Toughest Time Of My Life!!

    i stood there, feeling sad, depressed , angry and scared!!! i waited and i waited, but i just couldnt do it!! woooosh, the train went right before my eye's!!! it was all too much!! it was the toughest period of my life, in the 3 previous years i had suffered depression, a...
    cowshed123 cowshed123 31-35, M 2 Responses Jun 6, 2010

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Im Awake Again...

    I downed almost 210 grams of rat poison, cups full of it. blue and green granules and i started feeling nauseous so i went and lay down on my bed, plan B was choking on my own vomit and dying(saw a friend die that way)....nothing happened. Im still alive. I had 90 grams of it...
    Unmasked Unmasked 22-25, F 4 Responses Jun 4, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    The Ghost of March

    My alarm clock woke up early that day because I had a doctor's appointment. I had run out of Xanax and needed to get a new prescription. When I got to the appointment, I acted like everything was fine, but I said my anxiety was still a problem, so the doctor gave me twice as many...
    AnAugustSunset AnAugustSunset 21-25, F 1 Response Jan 28, 2008

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I fell in love with my best friend

    who promptly told me he had no intentions of dating me, even after treating me like we were. I had an abortion. I'm 72k in debt. I hate my job, I hate my life and I hate myself.
    mayorofmisfits mayorofmisfits 22-25, F Aug 3

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Suicidal Since 2nd Grade

    All my life I've been picked on. In 2nd grade, I learned that you could kill yourself, but I didn't know how to really. I nearly drowned, and I hated the fact that I survived. I went back and did the same thing and yet, someone jumped back in the water and pulled me out again. I...
    tazpunkrocker tazpunkrocker 26-30, F 3 Responses Aug 28, 2007

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Bender

    people used to ask me "what did you do last night?" I would often reply "tried to drink and drug myself to death again" Often they would laugh without realizing i was serious. many a time i would  hit the drink and mix drugs not caring if i woke up or not...
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Jan 7, 2008

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I Tried In Hospital

    I tried to relocate with out my abuser(S) knowing. I had a attack of PTSD a flashback, and a mental break down. I was take to a mental hospital. I was severely depressed and a little in denial about having PTSD. I just wanted to be normal but nothing about my life has been...
    dyinginsidefawna dyinginsidefawna 26-30, F Dec 2, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Selfish

    Well, I overdosed on paracetamol and sleeping tablets around 2 months ago, and ended up in A&E. It upset me that I couldn't even kill myself properly, and to make things worse all anyone ever does is yell that I'm selfish, a failure, etc. How is that meant to help?:S I know I'm...
    Blisseh Blisseh 18-21, F 2 Responses Jan 27, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    {Survivalist} Back when I was between the ages

    of 12 and 15, I was diagnosed with severe depression. It was strongly suggested that I take medication for it, see a therapist every single week, and consider staying in a hospital. No one ever really knew when I over-dosed because I was so discreet about it. I was responsible...
    luminescentdanger luminescentdanger 22-25, T 1 Response Feb 11

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I Can't Make It Without Him

    Two months ago, I made a huge mistake and cheated on my boyfriend of 4 years. He found out about it and I confessed to him what had happened, sparing the details. We've been working on making our relationship work and he even proposed to me right afterwards. He said he changed...
    AuntieNaytalist AuntieNaytalist 22-25 2 Responses Oct 30, 2010

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I've Been Alive For a Month Now...

    I tried to kill myself a month ago, pills and alcohol. I just didn't feel worthy of being alive, a waste of life, unable to be happy even though I knew I had everything to be happy. I just didn't want to continue hurting those around me. So I did it, I...
    Macas Macas 22-25 Jun 4, 2009

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I really didn't care.

    Life just kept pushing me. My response was "who cares.screw it. I'll die then." I wish I had succeeded (over the course of trying). I wish I was normal, and could fit in. But I'm not and can't. Even though I hope someday I get to be happy though... I also hope I'll die right now...
    IAimForHonor IAimForHonor 18-21, M Mar 26

    Your Response

    Cancel

    If You Dont Die You F****** Wish You Did

    ever since one day my life just went downhill dramatically.i couldnt stop it and didnt know how to handle it. so i began to cut and i would take drugs and drink. it all turned into a ficious cycle. id cut have a smoke sober up fight with rents cut again have a smoke fight with...
    FreakOutLooseControl FreakOutLooseControl 16-18, F 3 Responses Aug 25, 2006

    Your Response

    Cancel

    almost 4 years ago with a nail gun to my head,

    all because my boyfriend broke up with me and I couldn't find a job. Now I cannot see straight, or walk because my left side is not working properly. I also gained 90 pounds because I don't feel hungry or full. Dumbest thing I've ever done.
    chrismc64 chrismc64 46-50, F May 12

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Never Again.

    It has now been 10 years since I tried to kill myself.  I have since been diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder resulting from what could be classified as an 'adverse childhood experience' that lasted until I was 19 years old.  At the age of 19 with nowhere to go, I...
    Supposed2Bhere Supposed2Bhere 31-35, F 2 Responses Dec 3, 2011

    Your Response

    Cancel

    A Long, Long Time Ago....

    ...but maybe not long ago enough. I won't be doing it again.
    MrsLalaninjacakes MrsLalaninjacakes 26-30, F 8 Responses Jun 20, 2010

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I Tried to Kill Myself?

    So i tried to kill myself today... sort of. (apologies for length, i hope it doesn't put too many people off reading to the end) i've been depressed since the age of 16 and i'm 19 now. i've had counselling and stuff before which i guess helped a little. my doctor prescribed...
    4are8you15as16lost23as42me 4are8you15as16lost23as42me 19-21 1 Response Feb 27, 2008

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Embarrassing

    Took a bottle of Paxil a little over a year ago, just wanted to die. Felt like such an *** when I woke up like 2 hours later with the worst pain I had ever felt in my life...couldn't **** right for a week or two. Probably ****** up my stomach or something I haven't been able to...
    TheEvilCouncil TheEvilCouncil 18-21, M Feb 26, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I'm Trying.

    A few months ago I took an overdose. It's not something I find easy to talk about-I struggle to discuss most things anyway but I've really tried to talk as little about what I did, to as few people as possible. Partly because I'm still very ashamed about it, and partly because...
    Debaser85 Debaser85 26-30, M 3 Responses Aug 10, 2009

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Suicide Attempt

    I can't sleep out of fear I hate it i have nightmares everytime I sleep I just got released from hospital for an attempt at my life mostly from lack of sleep, fear, stress, and traumatic depression. Last week I got about a total 6 hour of sleep. God help me, this has been...
    Applelovergod Applelovergod 22-25 5 Responses Sep 22, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    The Actress

    I was told that I'm a terrible actress. That's not true though. I got you fooled. I'm not happy as people see me. I'm not a bubbly person who tries to make the world better. Behind the mask an costume, I'm just a sad girl who tried ending her life. No one knows, no one cares. In...
    RachelTarver RachelTarver 18-21 Sep 24, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I Was 13

    I couldn't deal with being picked on in school, being sexually abused, being myself. I took a bottle of Tylenol and went to bed. I woke up about 24 hours later feeling godawfully bad. I threw up a lot and was so dizzy and my stomach hurt so badly. My mom thought I had the flu...
    emmy emmy 19-21, F 7 Responses Oct 6, 2006

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Could Be Dead Right Now

    About a month or so ago I took an overdose, I took 8 different types of tablets: Paracetamol, Anti-Depresants, Mood stablizers, Co-codamol, Day and Night Nurse, Anxiety medication, Ibuprofen and a lot of sleeping pills. I got to hospital in time and had my stomache pupmed. I...
    xEmilyStrangex xEmilyStrangex 18-21, F 1 Response Nov 12, 2009

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Stopped By a Friend...

    ...whom I had stopped from doing the same earlier 2 years earlier.  This was in high school.  I "saved" this friend from killing himself when he was a freshman (I was a sophomore) and we became best friends.  Rather quickly, the cliched "I want to be...
    Chanteuse1984 Chanteuse1984 26-30, F Jun 20, 2007

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I Just Kept Trying

    My wife had left me a little more than a week before, I had a seizure the day before and didn't feel right the next day on the forth of July. I went to the old apartment after work and started cleaning up the pieces of my old relationship. I kept finding pictures, and letters...
    MrMattSumner MrMattSumner 31-35, M Aug 6, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel