Post
Experience Project iOS Android Apps | Download EP for your Mobile Device
If you are in a crisis, please call for help: 1-800-273-8255, or 1-800-784-2433 (available 24/7). More resources available here.

I Tried to Kill Myself

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 444 People

    I Tried to Kill Myself?

    So i tried to kill myself today... sort of. (apologies for length, i hope it doesn't put too many people off reading to the end) i've been depressed since the age of 16 and i'm 19 now. i've had counselling and stuff before which i guess helped a little. my doctor prescribed...
    4are8you15as16lost23as42me 4are8you15as16lost23as42me 18-21 1 Response Feb 27, 2008

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Last fall I had horrible anxiety regarding the

    future, specifically the uncertainty surrounding my graduation from college, that escalated into depression. While I had always been an overly anxious person, I had never been depressed before; this made me unequipped and generally unwilling to diagnose myself as such. It was...
    Jorin Jorin 18-21, F Jun 22, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I really didn't care.

    Life just kept pushing me. My response was "who cares.screw it. I'll die then." I wish I had succeeded (over the course of trying). I wish I was normal, and could fit in. But I'm not and can't. Even though I hope someday I get to be happy though... I also hope I'll die right now...
    IAimForHonor IAimForHonor 18-21, M Mar 26, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Last night I was tired,

    exhausted & overwhelmed of my life & my body which I hate. Besides of all de illnesses & chronic conditions, so I decided to take more than enough pills to sleep for ever. I was crying to leave the people I love most, but nobody understand me and nobody will, because they will...
    Pather2013 Pather2013 46-50, M 1 Response Jul 18

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I Was 13

    I couldn't deal with being picked on in school, being sexually abused, being myself. I took a bottle of Tylenol and went to bed. I woke up about 24 hours later feeling godawfully bad. I threw up a lot and was so dizzy and my stomach hurt so badly. My mom thought I had the flu...
    emmy emmy 18-21, F 7 Responses Oct 6, 2006

    Your Response

    Cancel

    A Freakish Mistake

    I wrote this in an email to a friend a while ago...it kind of explains it... "I have had a really hard time the past couple of years that I have been in college. Before college (and my first boyfriend at 17), I was a really strong, pure Christian girl. I was like...
    stillbreathing stillbreathing 18-21, F 1 Response Jun 14, 2007

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I Slit My Wrist... After Watching The Last Episode Of Lost.

    I was watching lost and finally got to the last episode. I had drank a bottle of champagne that my landlord bought me for Xmas/New Years. Without any spoilers, I just got so depressed after the ending. I watched all seasons within 3 weeks. I don't have many friends. So thats all...
    Mclrm Mclrm 26-30 1 Response Apr 18, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Suicidal Since 2nd Grade

    All my life I've been picked on. In 2nd grade, I learned that you could kill yourself, but I didn't know how to really. I nearly drowned, and I hated the fact that I survived. I went back and did the same thing and yet, someone jumped back in the water and pulled me out again. I...
    tazpunkrocker tazpunkrocker 26-30, F 3 Responses Aug 28, 2007

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I posted a serious story about how I had hit

    rock bottom and tried to kill. Myself. Some heartless individual comes back with a joke. See my human life has no meaning. I really want to thank this person for knocking me down farther than I already am. They'll probably even loan me a gun.
    gasolinealley gasolinealley 46-50, F Jun 19, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    {Survivalist} Back when I was between the ages

    of 12 and 15, I was diagnosed with severe depression. It was strongly suggested that I take medication for it, see a therapist every single week, and consider staying in a hospital. No one ever really knew when I over-dosed because I was so discreet about it. I was responsible...
    luminescentdanger luminescentdanger 22-25, T 1 Response Feb 11, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Lately I've been feeling

    so depressed that at one point I thought to myself I've had it. I had a few of my old antidepressant medicine left and I just chugged it. Without thinking I just took it all and yet for some reason I'm still Here. Why?
    VasilisaDra VasilisaDra 22-25, F 4 Responses Mar 21, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Why Not??

    I started feeling depressed when I stared high school. I don't know why, but anyways, towards the end of my sophomore year I was sent to the hospital for suicidal ideation and then two more times for suicide attempts. the first one was more of a cry for help I overdosed on pain...
    Unknown Unknown 18-21, F 2 Responses Jun 1, 2007

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Me

    I've attempted it 2 or 3 times, overdosing, but none of the times were severe. I ended up in hospital after the first one, however after that, when I made the 2nd and 3rd attempts, I didn't tell anyone, because I can't stand hospitals, and didn't want to end up in one again. I...
    sezy sezy 16-17, F Aug 8, 2007

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I Can't Make It Without Him

    Two months ago, I made a huge mistake and cheated on my boyfriend of 4 years. He found out about it and I confessed to him what had happened, sparing the details. We've been working on making our relationship work and he even proposed to me right afterwards. He said he changed...
    AuntieNaytalist AuntieNaytalist 22-25 2 Responses Oct 30, 2010

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I'm Trying.

    A few months ago I took an overdose. It's not something I find easy to talk about-I struggle to discuss most things anyway but I've really tried to talk as little about what I did, to as few people as possible. Partly because I'm still very ashamed about it, and partly because...
    Debaser85 Debaser85 26-30, M 3 Responses Aug 10, 2009

    Your Response

    Cancel

    The Actress

    I was told that I'm a terrible actress. That's not true though. I got you fooled. I'm not happy as people see me. I'm not a bubbly person who tries to make the world better. Behind the mask an costume, I'm just a sad girl who tried ending her life. No one knows, no one cares. In...
    RachelTarver RachelTarver 18-21 Sep 24, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    If You Dont Die You F****** Wish You Did

    ever since one day my life just went downhill dramatically.i couldnt stop it and didnt know how to handle it. so i began to cut and i would take drugs and drink. it all turned into a ficious cycle. id cut have a smoke sober up fight with rents cut again have a smoke fight with...
    FreakOutLooseControl FreakOutLooseControl 16-17, F 3 Responses Aug 25, 2006

    Your Response

    Cancel

    So Alone

    im not sure where 2 start,but here goes i have always been shy+felt somehow on the outside,even in my own family,i used 2 drink heavily to compensate for this,it got so bad, the other reason i hate my life is i feel like i have never actually acomplished anything in my life of...
    happyukgal happyukgal 22-25, F 8 Responses Nov 15, 2010

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Could Be Dead Right Now

    About a month or so ago I took an overdose, I took 8 different types of tablets: Paracetamol, Anti-Depresants, Mood stablizers, Co-codamol, Day and Night Nurse, Anxiety medication, Ibuprofen and a lot of sleeping pills. I got to hospital in time and had my stomache pupmed. I...
    xEmilyStrangex xEmilyStrangex 18-21, F 1 Response Nov 12, 2009

    Your Response

    Cancel

    The Ghost of March

    My alarm clock woke up early that day because I had a doctor's appointment. I had run out of Xanax and needed to get a new prescription. When I got to the appointment, I acted like everything was fine, but I said my anxiety was still a problem, so the doctor gave me twice as many...
    AnAugustSunset AnAugustSunset 18-21, F 1 Response Jan 28, 2008

    Your Response

    Cancel

    2007 was the year from hell.

    I got divorced, was homeless, lost a very good friend of 20 years, found out someone had hurt a close family member in a very intimate way for several years, and last but certainly not least, I woke up during surgery, which until I was awake on the table, had been my worst fear...
    Pebbles1982 Pebbles1982 26-30, F 4 Responses Jul 30

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I haven't tried to kill myself.

    But I Always think of killing myself. I self harm. And I need help. I just feel so alone in this world and I want to have people I can rely on. People I can text and call or FaceTime anytime and get their help. I hate being so lonely all the time.
    Iamsolonely96 Iamsolonely96 18-21, M Mar 24, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I fell in love with my best friend

    who promptly told me he had no intentions of dating me, even after treating me like we were. I had an abortion. I'm 72k in debt. I hate my job, I hate my life and I hate myself.
    mayorofmisfits mayorofmisfits 22-25, F Aug 3, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Hate My Life.

    Hello. I am a disabled man. I don't see that well. And i am a diabetic. I tried to kill my self last night. But i phoned samaritans. I talked and it helped. I phone them alot. This is why i tryed to kill my self. I am a 20 year old man. I live with my mum my dad dide when i was...
    2012blueboy 2012blueboy 18-21, M 6 Responses Jun 16, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I Just Kept Trying

    My wife had left me a little more than a week before, I had a seizure the day before and didn't feel right the next day on the forth of July. I went to the old apartment after work and started cleaning up the pieces of my old relationship. I kept finding pictures, and letters...
    MrMattSumner MrMattSumner 31-35, M Aug 6, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I Tried To Kill Myself, And Thank God It Didn't Work

    Many times in the past I tried to kill myself. It got to the point where I was trying once a week.   Obviously, though, it didn't work. I am SO THANKFUL that I was never able to do it successfully. I now have a wonderful husband, and a life...
    sabergirl08 sabergirl08 18-21, F 2 Responses Dec 17, 2009

    Your Response

    Cancel

    A Long, Long Time Ago....

    ...but maybe not long ago enough. I won't be doing it again.
    MrsLalaninjacakes MrsLalaninjacakes 26-30, F 8 Responses Jun 20, 2010

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Suicide Attempt

    I can't sleep out of fear I hate it i have nightmares everytime I sleep I just got released from hospital for an attempt at my life mostly from lack of sleep, fear, stress, and traumatic depression. Last week I got about a total 6 hour of sleep. God help me, this has been...
    Applelovergod Applelovergod 22-25 5 Responses Sep 22, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Somebody Died That Night

    It is hard to explain when people try to understand and ask the WHY? of such act. I can't even call it a desire because everything has left you when you get to the point of actually trying to do the act of "killing" yourself. I remember like if it was just today her beautiful...
    OutOfBreath OutOfBreath 31-35 Jun 11, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    December 3, 2014 I swallowed well over 20 pills,

    in an attempt to end my life. The night started off fine. I had a date with my boyfriend, I hung out with my best friend, and I laid in bed until 12. It was a good day. The days before it had been some of the worst in a while. My ex of 3 years had come to me asking me to sit...
    MarisoleLane MarisoleLane 18-21, F 1 Response Dec 10, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Im Awake Again...

    I downed almost 210 grams of rat poison, cups full of it. blue and green granules and i started feeling nauseous so i went and lay down on my bed, plan B was choking on my own vomit and dying(saw a friend die that way)....nothing happened. Im still alive. I had 90 grams of it...
    Unmasked Unmasked 22-25, F 4 Responses Jun 4, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    And I

     Don't regret it! Because by failing to die got the message loud and clear. And i feel like i'm stronger now, because all this things aren't powerful, i am and god only knows when it's my time to go. I'm no saying that i will not try again, i just can't, because i don't...
    andreinac13 andreinac13 22-25, F 1 Response Oct 14, 2008

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Embarrassing

    Took a bottle of Paxil a little over a year ago, just wanted to die. Felt like such an *** when I woke up like 2 hours later with the worst pain I had ever felt in my life...couldn't **** right for a week or two. Probably ****** up my stomach or something I haven't been able to...
    TheEvilCouncil TheEvilCouncil 22-25, M Feb 26, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    almost 4 years ago with a nail gun to my head,

    all because my boyfriend broke up with me and I couldn't find a job. Now I cannot see straight, or walk because my left side is not working properly. I also gained 90 pounds because I don't feel hungry or full. Dumbest thing I've ever done.
    chrismc64 chrismc64 46-50, F May 12, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I Overdosed. I Survived.

    I tried to kill myself a while back. About two months ago. It was my girlfriend who called the ambulance, and I hate her for it. I wish she had just let me die. Not many people understand what it's like after a suicide attempt. They all just expect you to move on some how and...
    CyanideCola CyanideCola 18-21, F 2 Responses May 14, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Stopped By a Friend...

    ...whom I had stopped from doing the same earlier 2 years earlier.  This was in high school.  I "saved" this friend from killing himself when he was a freshman (I was a sophomore) and we became best friends.  Rather quickly, the cliched "I want to be...
    Chanteuse1984 Chanteuse1984 26-30, F Jun 20, 2007

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Twice

    And both times just ended in massive medical bills, feeling even more alone than I did before and each time vowing that I would not fail the next time.
    arenaissancewoman arenaissancewoman 31-35, F Feb 12, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    3times

    not sure where to start,so i will just wade ini have always had a sense of being on the outside of things,even at school being popular+all that sort of stuffi had on several occassions considered harming myself during my school yrs,but chickened out of itthen i hit the bottle...
    geekoftheweek geekoftheweek 26-30, F 17 Responses Feb 14, 2011

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Last Night

    I took an overdose. My boyfriend took me to hospital. I failed. Im so selfish.
    Tori91 Tori91 22-25, F Apr 22, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Most days i don't know what to do with myself

    and other days i feel as if i can't handle it at all. Yesterday was a day i couldn't handle anything anymore. I was walking out of Kroger and i saw a car coming towards me. I didn't think i just acted i walked out in front of the car and my friend who was with me had pushed me...
    sadbaby103 sadbaby103 18-21, F Sep 7, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I've Been Alive For a Month Now...

    I tried to kill myself a month ago, pills and alcohol. I just didn't feel worthy of being alive, a waste of life, unable to be happy even though I knew I had everything to be happy. I just didn't want to continue hurting those around me. So I did it, I...
    Macas Macas 22-25 Jun 4, 2009

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Warning: Graphic

    Sometimes it feels like you have never once in your life had a good night's sleep. That for twenty-four years you have been constantly shaken into consciousness, gasped awake in your sheets, troubled by light that has made it through the curtains by a throb in your chest by a...
    casettetapes casettetapes 18-21, M 6 Responses Nov 15, 2007

    Your Response

    Cancel

    12 anti anxiety pills,

    4 sleeping pills. boyfriend broke up with me after he found out, didnt even come to the hospital. apperently hes worried i will relapse, so leaving me when i needed him the most seemed like the best option for him. went to his house today to get my things, he kept saying he...
    Gainingsmileslosingweight Gainingsmileslosingweight 18-21, F 2 Responses Jan 26, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Never Again.

    It has now been 10 years since I tried to kill myself.  I have since been diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder resulting from what could be classified as an 'adverse childhood experience' that lasted until I was 19 years old.  At the age of 19 with nowhere to go, I...
    Supposed2Bhere Supposed2Bhere 31-35, F 2 Responses Dec 3, 2011

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Feel So Lost

    I have separated from my wife. I am 25 years old. I have two young children. Yesterday I tried to kill myself. I sat in my car and connected a hosepipe to the exhaust. Long story short. After sitting there for nearly an hour, the tape I brought came unstuck. I failed. Now I feel...
    Tim34planb Tim34planb 22-25, M Feb 20, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    On the first of January 2015 at about 02:00 I

    were hanging planing on hanging myself, it wasn't the first time, I remember in 2010 that I used to sit in school alone tying nooses in the cafeteria. Never told anyone about these experiences. And I just felt like I needed to tell someone now. As I'm feeling bout doing it again...
    RedLineEngineer RedLineEngineer 18-21, M