The only time I’m happy,
Is when I walk in the rain,
Cause in the rain if cry,
The drops might not be mine.
No one can tell,
Not even me if I try,
If I am simply enjoying a walk,
Or having a serious cry
first your heart dies,
and you never see joy.
then go your eyes-
& the light, and the sparkle.
next is you.
you rip apart your body,
wound by wound,
slit by slit,
gouge by gouge -
each time losing a little piece of yourself.
Until you run low
and the things that are dead...
The voice in my head points out the worst,
Reminds me of my faults and never puts me first.
The voice in my head hates everyone,
It shows me my flaws and always tears me down.
The voice in my head hates me the most,
It eats at my self esteem till I feel like a ghost.
The voice in...
when i was going through my stages of bipolar disorder and cutting, i turned to writing my feels down, in poetry form, i have now lost my ability to write poems because i cant think of anything worthy enough to write about, so i have taken to reading others poems because i feel...
i fell hard on my butt
i keep falling again and again
i certainly have a gut
still getting up everyday
even though depression strikes
and there's always only pain
i put on my usual mask
and keep fighting till the end
when this end is gonna be?
where this life will lead me to?
In my bed no one can see me.
In my bed I am safe and warm.
In my bed, if I need to cry,
The sheets will be there,
And they’ll dry my eyes.
But out in the world I can never relax.
Out in the world I wear a mask.
Out in the world, I smile and wave,
Cos out in the world, I have to...
separates fact from feeling,
excusing failures as they pass
unable to puncture words you want
just sitting in your horrid glow
waiting to be overthrown at last
and you bear the rubber crutch and moan
because the days go on and on, and bore
their seeds inside your...
you don't understand,
you don't even try,
so forgive me if I don't,
want to let you see me cry.
I'm not going well,
this patch is quite rough,
I feel like I'm fat,
and I'm never good enough.
I used to be fine,
then you tried to fix me,
now I'm ****** up,
and I can't do...
1 kilo, 2 kilos, 3 kilos, 4,
5 kilos, 6 kilos, 7 kilos more,
Once I get to 50 kilos it will be enough
So I will get there even though it will be tough.
I know 50 kilos is where I should be,
So I will get there and then I will be happy
It will take hard work, it won’t be easy...
I have totally collapsed
I just give in
Kill me already
I have commited
so many sins
I slit my wrists
And can not stop
I have strawberry gashes
Up and down
I scream inside
If you cared you would know
If you cared
you would take some time
To see into my mind
You could help me...
I've been kept in line for as long as I can remeber. Tired of it I turned to dark poetry to avoid cutting, I can't help but feel there's nothing left. Sure the good things in life are good, but what do they accomplish?... I had a good relationship a while back...
There is no beauty in me.
Im just a lonely person on this street.
Pay no attention to me.
For I will just ruin your dreams.
So caught up you will get.
In all my shallow ****.
No hope there is for me to seem pretty again.
Extra pounds bring me down.
Today was the worst day of my life.
The feeling unparagoned, deeper than the core of Earth itself.
Anger churned, heated by the fiery pits of hell,
Today branded itself in history - as the worst. day. ever.
Today was the worst day of my life.
This worldly sphere displayed a...
You don’t see me when I cry,
You don’t know the tears I hide,
You don’t hear what’s in my head,
You don’t hear all that is said,
You can’t feel the pain in me,
You can’t see the fat I see,
You can’t know how hard it is,
You can’t judge me at all for this.
You don’t know what it’s like
Trust me you don’t
You can say that you do
But believe me you won’t
Unless you have been me
Or at least come pretty close,
Then do not judge me
Or think I am gross.
I don’t do it for attention
I don’t do it for you
I do it for control
Sometimes it feels like I’m just going with the flow,
With no real control of where my life goes.
Sometimes it feels like I’m doing nothing at all,
Watching everyone else pass by while I fall.
I hide because I think people see all my flaws,
I hate myself too so how can...
Dear Alex, I don’t know how to cope.
Dear Alex, I can’t make myself be happy.
Dear Alex, I think I need some help.
Dear Alex, I’m feeling really crappy
Dear Alex, I don’t know what I’m feeling,
Dear Alex, I know that it’s not good
Dear Alex, I can’t seem to start...
hid away from the day, sputtering like a dirty gear
trying to obscure what you knew to be completely clear
just watching the pendulum swing in its tired tedium
repeating its heavy motion all hard and dumb in delirium
now the ball room's filling fast, the double doors are open...
The smell of iron fills the room,
The scent of blood my sweet perfume.
The crimson tears seeping from my skin,
The remains of a rose lying in the bin.
No one knows what’s happened here tonight,
No one will ever see this awful sight.
Tomorrow morning the sun will rise,
I still get hungry, I still get weak,
I still want food, I still like to eat,
But now I count, each calorie,
I plan each days meals, very carefully.
It still takes discipline, I find it as hard as you,
To go the entire day, without a bite of food.
But unlike you, I’m scared to...
Do not even think,
About the food you crave,
You cannot even blink,
You must stay strong, be brave.
Just think about your weight,
You wouldn’t want it to go up,
Take all that food off your plate,
If you eat you must throw it up.
I’m doing this out of love,
I want you to...
I am crying, without a sound,
I am dying, with no one around.
I hate myself, I don’t want to be,
The f****** fat cow that is all I can see.
I want to be beautiful, I want to be thin,
I want to control something, I want to win
I want to obey, let her control me,
I never want her...
Hiding beneath the cover of darkness,
Wrapped up in the folds of tears and crushed hope,
Shielded by the strength of hate and anger,
This is where I lie.
Protected by the mystery of fear,
Held by the sting of rejection,
Comforted by the fear of failure,
This is when I rest...
I’m stuck in a great big black hole,
I’m trying to get out,
But I’m just making the hole deeper,
I can’t even see the top now.
I can’t see anything but darkness,
Everything is tinged with black.
The black of hate, mistrust and anger,
Fear, abuse and despair.
Not all my poems are depressing but I can say been there, done that. I look back at things I've written as a teen and wonder how I made it this far. The fact that no one saw that darkness and found me help earlier on is just a wonder. It does act as a way of venting and...