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I Use to Be a Self Mutilator

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 49 People

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     I used to do it almost every night when i was 12. I stopped at the age of 16, and sometimes I do miss it. It was just so calming for me at the time, but it now breaks my heart to see it on other people. I feel ashamed for putting my mum and dad and my little sister through...
    thegirlwiththefatcat thegirlwiththefatcat 18-21, F 3 Responses Mar 5, 2009

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    A Long Short Story

    The first time I cut was the first time I heard that no one cared about me. All the family and family friends we're talking around me but would never offer me any criticism. It wasn't the only reason but it was the final push. I didn't even know what I was doing, like I was...
    SequoiaCM SequoiaCM 18-21 3 Responses Apr 27, 2010

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    Endurance- Poem

    Endurance A knife lays beside me, Robbing my veins, My ghost lies inside me, Bringing me pain. My soul is reaching for happiness,but it is too far- So my fingers are leaving me with yet another scar. My eyes aren't crying, There searching for hope- My blood is draining, To help...
    TheSunshineheart TheSunshineheart 18-21 Nov 23, 2011

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    I

    its still so tempting i dont know how long i will last. when i started cutting i guess i kind of built myself up to it, got brave enough. one day i stepped on a mirror in my room and instead of cleaning it up, i left it there. it layed there on that floor for a month...
    deleted deleted 26-30 Sep 3, 2009

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    Too Old to Be So Messed Up!

    To say that I used to be a self-mutilator isn't 100% accurate. I sort of still want to.  I just realized that picking at scabs is considered to be self-mutilating.  And I am a picker.   I started self mutilating when I was very young.  It stopped...
    toooldforthis toooldforthis 51-55 1 Response Nov 29, 2008

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    Used To

    I used to cut my self about 4 months ago. Thanks to one of my good friends, I quit. I used to take long baths, and go in there with a plastic knife, and cut my self. I still have scars to this very day, but always stressed of people finding out. Every once and a while I cut my...
    toughchick101 toughchick101 18-21, F 1 Response Jul 8, 2010

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    Maybe?

    I do it time to time... like years in between so does that count as I used to be? Probably not... oh well
    CrazyHappySad CrazyHappySad 26-30, F Jun 12, 2012

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    When I Was Younger

    I started cutting after breaking up with my boyfriend of two years, I'd kinda been curious and it made me feel better, after that i would whenever i was sad or angry at myself. I haven't in a while and now i look down at my leg and i hate my scars i never know...
    hotmess713 hotmess713 18-21, F 1 Response Nov 29, 2008

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    Scars of Betrayal

    Well the first time I cut myself was after I read a book about a girl who cuts. I was fully intrigued for some reason and wanted to do it, so the next time I was angry or sad I did. And it was the worst thing I have ever done to myself. Because I was hooked. I did it...
    BlazzinBebe88 BlazzinBebe88 18-21, F 6 Responses Oct 21, 2008

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    i feel it again...i cant go back to it but i feel it. inside is a fist of ice grabbing my heart. crushing the life out of me. i cant stop thos horrible feeling. i want that...
    ArnoldJRimmer ArnoldJRimmer 46-50, M 1 day ago

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    Technically I still am as I go to church every sunday and my family is catholic, but this is because I'm under 18 and live with my parents so I don't have much choice. I no longer...
    PrincessFrankie PrincessFrankie 13-15, F 1 Response 1 day ago

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    I still self harm and trying my best to stop but it's seems to find its way back and I relapse all over again...
    Kristenandbaby2015 Kristenandbaby2015 13-15 1 Response 1 day ago

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    Hey all, I wanted to take a minute to encourage you that freedom is possible. It’s been ten years since I last cut myself. When I was in 8th grade some of my friends where...
    travelgal8605 travelgal8605 26-30, F 1 Response 2 days ago

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    I've never really took the time to look at my scars fully, and actually see the damage I've done to myself throughout the years. So I have, and a part of me is disgusted that I...
    bflyboo14 bflyboo14 16-17, F 3 Responses 2 days ago

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    I've gotten so used to being used and ignored it just doesn't even phase anymore.
    wreckofagirl wreckofagirl 22-25, F 1 Response 3 days ago

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    Used to is a joke I struggle with self harm But it's gotten so so so much better
    ClinNN ClinNN 18-21, F 3 days ago

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    Yep... I still self harm to this day.
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses 3 days ago

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    do you ever just stand in front of the mirror and have no idea who your looking at? I used to be pretty happy about myself, take photos wear whatever I wanted. now I walk around in...
    stargirl1998 stargirl1998 16-17, F 4 days ago

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    My appearance, my personality, and overall everything. I'm overly sensitive and lack emotion at an inconvenient time. I'm loud sometimes. I'm too quiet sometimes. I can't...
    CyanideY CyanideY 13-15, F 3 Responses 5 days ago

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    Used to has turned into "currently self-harm". I relapsed 3 months ago on my birthday, depressed about my birthday. Done it twice since then. Thinking of buying some razors...
    Iscarpia87 Iscarpia87 26-30, M 5 days ago

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    Time continues to waste away before my eyes. I feel like I'm slowly withering away and there's nothing to stop it. Yesterday, I came to the realization that I don't hate God...
    Severus27 Severus27 18-21, F 6 days ago

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    i used to be a very, very happy young girl. i had a bright future ahead of me, i was a good kid, had many friends, healthy relationships with my family members, and was top of my...
    littlemissblondie littlemissblondie 16-17, F 6 Responses a week ago

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    I don't self harm anymore but I used to. I used to liked to drag a razor cross my arms and legs to see the blood. I was in Control. It made me feel alive I would forget everything...
    WittyTwit WittyTwit 26-30, F 1 Response a week ago

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    These last two years have been such a growing experience. Like my advice is so good now. I thought I was mature when I was 14 and now I look back and I just think about how...
    ihaveaname99 ihaveaname99 16-17, F 1 Response Feb 4

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    I used to feel this way and I used to have very low confidence in myself. I refused to talk to anyone, I refused to include myself in anyone's conversations and anyone's parties. I...
    Caitlinsmith1636 Caitlinsmith1636 18-21, F 6 Responses Feb 4

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    Since I am stuck at home for a year recovering from ankle surgery, one of the biggest challenges is money. Currently, I am sitting on income assistance waiting for disability...
    singlemom1254 singlemom1254 36-40 Feb 3

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    i never really physically self harmed myself. it was mainly emotionally. there were times when i would publicly humiliate myself on purpose. every time i felt depressed , i would...
    HeySafaaJust HeySafaaJust 16-17, F 1 Response Feb 2

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    "Anything for attention with you." Okay so if it's for attention shall I just go and grab a blade and cut myself right in front of you, let you watch as my arm is once again...
    ThroughRoseGlasses ThroughRoseGlasses 16-17, F 1 Response Feb 2

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    sometimes i think tht wht iz our life?nd many people dnt know meaning of our life..we have just 60-100 years for living this one life.after tht we all hav to die...so we should...
    Nowshin Nowshin 18-21, F 1 Response Feb 2

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    When I was younger I remember feeling very self-conscious about how I looked, how I sounded and what other people thought of me. Although this feeling still exists it does not...
    JoosephShield JoosephShield 31-35, M Feb 2

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    I'm kind of tired of feeling upset over why I don't have a girlfriend currently. every February, near valentine's day. I feel that maybe this year I would find someone. there's no...
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Feb 2

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    And it a constant struggle each day. This is pretty much the first time Ive use myself for a profile pic but I've already gotten a few people calling me ugly which doesn't help..
    Karmimiyan Karmimiyan 22-25, F 2 Responses Feb 1

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    i used to be such a cute, innocent little girl that was a tomboy and had no onterest in boys but now im the complete opposite. I self harm because of depression and i starve...
    Heyyitzmoi Heyyitzmoi 13-15, F 6 Responses Feb 1

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    I will break into your thoughts With what's written on my heart I will break, break I'm so sick, Infected with where I live Let me live without this Empty bliss, Selfishness I'm...
    beautifullybroken29 beautifullybroken29 26-30, F 3 Responses Feb 1

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    I always hear people speaking about how a women has no self respect if she wears skin tight clothes that show so much skin. I think that when women where clothing like that it...
    LBBitch LBBitch 18-21, F Jan 29

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    Sometimes I can be my worst enemy. I can be so self destructive. I've cut myself in the past, yes, but more than that I have so much self hatred that I have yet to work through...
    rebekahanastasia rebekahanastasia 18-21, F 3 Responses Jan 29

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    Intimacy is important for a healthy body and mind. Being intimate uses all your senses for complete and total enjoyment. However if intimacy is lacking then self-gratification...
    Spazzyfox Spazzyfox 51-55, F 3 Responses Jan 28

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    I was always know too much and speak too little. I suppose if it were the other way around I'd be happy. Ignorance is bliss after all. When I was 8 I started overdosing on pills...
    yowamushi yowamushi 18-21, F Jan 28

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    I self harm everyday I can't stand myself the person in the mirror I try n fight cause I don't like him I don't like me I need someone I have nobody I just want to die I'm all...
    Weesm2016 Weesm2016 22-25, M 6 Responses Jan 25

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    I hadn't cut myself for almost a year now I think. I was so proud, but I lost it today, I cut again and I could just do it so many more times. I didn't, just a few small ones but I...
    bubblesandcakes bubblesandcakes 18-21, T 3 Responses Jan 24

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