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I Use to Be a Self Mutilator

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 49 People

    Too Old to Be So Messed Up!

    To say that I used to be a self-mutilator isn't 100% accurate. I sort of still want to.  I just realized that picking at scabs is considered to be self-mutilating.  And I am a picker.   I started self mutilating when I was very young.  It stopped...
    toooldforthis toooldforthis 51-55 1 Response Nov 29, 2008

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    When I Was Younger

    I started cutting after breaking up with my boyfriend of two years, I'd kinda been curious and it made me feel better, after that i would whenever i was sad or angry at myself. I haven't in a while and now i look down at my leg and i hate my scars i never know...
    hotmess713 hotmess713 18-21, F 1 Response Nov 29, 2008

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    8-|

     I used to do it almost every night when i was 12. I stopped at the age of 16, and sometimes I do miss it. It was just so calming for me at the time, but it now breaks my heart to see it on other people. I feel ashamed for putting my mum and dad and my little sister through...
    thegirlwiththefatcat thegirlwiththefatcat 18-21, F 3 Responses Mar 5, 2009

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    A Long Short Story

    The first time I cut was the first time I heard that no one cared about me. All the family and family friends we're talking around me but would never offer me any criticism. It wasn't the only reason but it was the final push. I didn't even know what I was doing, like I was...
    SequoiaCM SequoiaCM 18-21 3 Responses Apr 27, 2010

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    Scars of Betrayal

    Well the first time I cut myself was after I read a book about a girl who cuts. I was fully intrigued for some reason and wanted to do it, so the next time I was angry or sad I did. And it was the worst thing I have ever done to myself. Because I was hooked. I did it...
    BlazzinBebe88 BlazzinBebe88 18-21, F 6 Responses Oct 21, 2008

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    Used To

    I used to cut my self about 4 months ago. Thanks to one of my good friends, I quit. I used to take long baths, and go in there with a plastic knife, and cut my self. I still have scars to this very day, but always stressed of people finding out. Every once and a while I cut my...
    toughchick101 toughchick101 18-21, F 1 Response Jul 8, 2010

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    Endurance- Poem

    Endurance A knife lays beside me, Robbing my veins, My ghost lies inside me, Bringing me pain. My soul is reaching for happiness,but it is too far- So my fingers are leaving me with yet another scar. My eyes aren't crying, There searching for hope- My blood is draining, To help...
    TheSunshineheart TheSunshineheart 18-21 Nov 23, 2011

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    Maybe?

    I do it time to time... like years in between so does that count as I used to be? Probably not... oh well
    CrazyHappySad CrazyHappySad 26-30, F Jun 12, 2012

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    I

    its still so tempting i dont know how long i will last. when i started cutting i guess i kind of built myself up to it, got brave enough. one day i stepped on a mirror in my room and instead of cleaning it up, i left it there. it layed there on that floor for a month...
    deleted deleted 26-30 Sep 3, 2009

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    Related Experiences

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    Perfect definition for selfish: You begin to take more and more time for yourself and friends, and less and less time with the person you’re seeing. You only want to see this...
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    Found this on tubler, really strong. Before you self harm in any way, you should probably know what you’re getting into. Before you make that cut, please keep in mind that you...
    josef2000 josef2000 13-15, M 1 Response 4 days ago

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    I have self harmed since I was about 15 and it has steadily got worse. I hate the pain of self harm now although I think I used to use it to calm me down. It's better to feel...
    LinkinParkMuse LinkinParkMuse 26-30, F Mar 28

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    This is my hand. I am healing, but it used worse. This is self-harm. I do it only when in moods of extreme fear, but I guarantee that it would have gotten worse. But I stopped...
    HappyHeart555 HappyHeart555 13-15, F 1 Response Mar 21

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    Just last year I had a really bad depression where I ended up self harming... & the depression is starting again . But this time I promised myself that I won't self harm. I will...
    Davidthree Davidthree 13-15, M 2 Responses Mar 29

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    I had friends in the past that aided me in my self destruction. I was on a dark path leading me to no where, far from God and far from light. It took the loss of those friends and...
    Scarlett13 Scarlett13 18-21, F 1 Response Apr 8

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    I mess up sometimes, I do. But I am so much better than I used to. 'I haven't self harmed in over half a year (minus some minor mess ups, maybe 3-5 times.) I'm scared of it getting...
    bluecupcakes bluecupcakes 18-21, F 1 Response Mar 20

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    I always before used to think self-harming is really bad and stupid and I never understood why people used to do it but the yesterday I realised why people do it and you get to a...
    JoshKilbride JoshKilbride 13-15, M 1 Response Apr 7

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    We're all different. We cope in ways that we consider suitable for our own well being. Some use constructive coping mechanisms, while others use destructive ones. Along the lines...
    abcdefghisabelmnopqrst abcdefghisabelmnopqrst 26-30, F 1 Response Apr 10

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    I've lost my self The death of my partner then the blame and death threats from his parents I use to laugh and I use to be so care free now I feel nothing or sadness!! Everyone...
    5omewhere0vatherainbow 5omewhere0vatherainbow 22-25, F 1 Response 5 days ago

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    I used to be a sweetheart I used to be kind, I used to be independent, I used to have my own mind. I used to like to smile, now all my smiles are fake I used to have great...
    criimson criimson 18-21, F 1 Response 4 days ago

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    I guess it's an issue that stems from childhood, and has sort of followed me ever since. I was bullied in primary school. Looking back on it now, it probably wasn't as viscous as...
    DropsofJupiter1 DropsofJupiter1 18-21, F 11 Responses Mar 22

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    Yes I agree to this but there are people don't know how to use this lines admire people who have self respect most there self they don't know how to respect by there own.
    verlaidamendoza28 verlaidamendoza28 56-60, F 2 Responses Mar 23

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    Mark:What your first name means:Swedish Male Warring.Shakespearean Male 'Antony and Cleopatra' and 'The Tragedy of Julius Caesar.' Mark Antony, roman triumvir and Cleopatra's lover...
    expressomarkie expressomarkie 46-50, M Mar 26

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    Years ago when I was younger used to self harm. Got over it was fine my daughter started self harming so could give her some good advise. Worst thing is I have now started again...
    angelcakebaby angelcakebaby 41-45, F Apr 3

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    The person I used to be. I can´t even really remember who that was? I see pictures of it and I see the things I used to write and the way my mind worked. I know that was me. But I...
    xBambi xBambi 22-25, F Apr 5

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    Hello everyone, these days I am getting used of self-love and everything it takes... But what keeps me stuck right now is misunderstanding one or two things. We've got Easter, and...
    isisithen isisithen 18-21, F 1 Response Apr 6

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    Black magic isn't a fake thing, most will never encounter it but most encounter people who drain their energy. That is what occultists refer to as dark magic. a noteworthy author...
    verndewd verndewd 41-45 Apr 4

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    A while back my mum 'hid' the big knives. I thought it was because we never used them. Just found out it was because she thought I was using them to cut. Pathetic I really want to...
    AwquardTallGirl AwquardTallGirl 13-15, F 5 days ago

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    Consciously, I know I have a lot of things to do. I plan them out in my mind how I want the next day to go. Then the following night I have trouble sleeping. I read somewhere that...
    MeTheMightyMe MeTheMightyMe 26-30, M Mar 24

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    For all the suicidal and self harming people out there. Stay strong please stay strong, life is full of ups and downs so some day life will give you all an up and you all will be...
    demonswithin demonswithin 18-21, M Mar 26

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    I'm 30. I live alone. But yet my parents control me. I can't drink, self harm or see my husband. I have a mental illness, I have been in hospital many times. My parents threaten to...
    sarahk85 sarahk85 26-30, F 1 Response Mar 27

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    I'm 30. I live alone. But yet my parents control me. I can't drink, self harm or see my husband. I have a mental illness, I have been in hospital many times. My parents threaten to...
    sarahk85 sarahk85 26-30, F 7 Responses Mar 27

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    I've... Broken... And I realize it... I don't see value in other people anymore. I legitimately want to be rude, mean and overbearing just to cause others pain which I've begun to...
    WytW0lf WytW0lf 22-25, M 3 Responses Mar 27

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    You are the only people who know about this, im never telling anyone in person, ever. Okay two weeks ago, during PE class, she wore a tshirt into PE where you can see her wrists...
    imme163 imme163 13-15, F Mar 29

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    I was clean of self harming for 4 months... That is... If I didnt do it today...
    milliejoe milliejoe 13-15, F 3 Responses Apr 7

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    they used to say that there were stars and galaxies in my head but the moon ran off and the stars long burned out so looking around now it looks like it's dead and now no one...
    makeitsomeday makeitsomeday 18-21, F Apr 8

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    I'm going to say this straight up because I used to cut too and let me tell you, it was one of the stupidest things I've ever done. I look at the scars and I'm like, what the...
    seabassep seabassep 18-21, M 1 Response a week ago

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    What can I use to self harm?
    josef2000 josef2000 13-15, M 6 Responses a week ago

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    I use them all the time to create my self-portraits.
    VickiTheArtist VickiTheArtist 26-30, F 1 Response 2 days ago

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    I am a 39 year old female,. I have boarderline personality disorder, major depressive disorder(diagnosed at 10) adhd (diagnosed at 38), ptsd, anxiety, a past history of anorexia...
    sofullofcyn sofullofcyn 36-40, F 1 day ago

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    I started having a panic attack before and at the beginning of second today... It was so bad I could barely speak... And no one noticed. I use pain as an outlet. I tried so hard to...
    LoverOfAllSouls LoverOfAllSouls 13-15, F 3 Responses Mar 26

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