Post
Experience Project iOS Android Apps | Download EP for your Mobile Device

I Use to Be a Self Mutilator

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 50 People

    8-|

     I used to do it almost every night when i was 12. I stopped at the age of 16, and sometimes I do miss it. It was just so calming for me at the time, but it now breaks my heart to see it on other people. I feel ashamed for putting my mum and dad and my little sister through...
    thegirlwiththefatcat thegirlwiththefatcat 18-21, F 3 Responses Mar 5, 2009

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Too Old to Be So Messed Up!

    To say that I used to be a self-mutilator isn't 100% accurate. I sort of still want to.  I just realized that picking at scabs is considered to be self-mutilating.  And I am a picker.   I started self mutilating when I was very young.  It stopped...
    toooldforthis toooldforthis 51-55 1 Response Nov 29, 2008

    Your Response

    Cancel

    A Long Short Story

    The first time I cut was the first time I heard that no one cared about me. All the family and family friends we're talking around me but would never offer me any criticism. It wasn't the only reason but it was the final push. I didn't even know what I was doing, like I was...
    SequoiaCM SequoiaCM 18-21 3 Responses Apr 27, 2010

    Your Response

    Cancel

    When I Was Younger

    I started cutting after breaking up with my boyfriend of two years, I'd kinda been curious and it made me feel better, after that i would whenever i was sad or angry at myself. I haven't in a while and now i look down at my leg and i hate my scars i never know...
    hotmess713 hotmess713 18-21, F 1 Response Nov 29, 2008

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Used To

    I used to cut my self about 4 months ago. Thanks to one of my good friends, I quit. I used to take long baths, and go in there with a plastic knife, and cut my self. I still have scars to this very day, but always stressed of people finding out. Every once and a while I cut my...
    toughchick101 toughchick101 18-21, F 1 Response Jul 8, 2010

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Scars of Betrayal

    Well the first time I cut myself was after I read a book about a girl who cuts. I was fully intrigued for some reason and wanted to do it, so the next time I was angry or sad I did. And it was the worst thing I have ever done to myself. Because I was hooked. I did it...
    BlazzinBebe88 BlazzinBebe88 18-21, F 6 Responses Oct 21, 2008

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Endurance- Poem

    Endurance A knife lays beside me, Robbing my veins, My ghost lies inside me, Bringing me pain. My soul is reaching for happiness,but it is too far- So my fingers are leaving me with yet another scar. My eyes aren't crying, There searching for hope- My blood is draining, To help...
    TheSunshineheart TheSunshineheart 18-21 Nov 23, 2011

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Maybe?

    I do it time to time... like years in between so does that count as I used to be? Probably not... oh well
    CrazyHappySad CrazyHappySad 26-30, F Jun 12, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I

    its still so tempting i dont know how long i will last. when i started cutting i guess i kind of built myself up to it, got brave enough. one day i stepped on a mirror in my room and instead of cleaning it up, i left it there. it layed there on that floor for a month...
    deleted deleted 26-30 Sep 3, 2009

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Related Experiences

    I started cutting when I was 12 and kept it secret for a long time, My year co-ordinator at school saw a cut on my hand and sent me too the guidance councillor who called my mum...
    Zeebabe666 Zeebabe666 18-21, F 1 hr ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    I tried to stop self harming and I went two weeks but then I did it again last night...
    dcook6 dcook6 18-21, F 3 hrs ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    i was bullied, i have now been diagnosed with issues. i am sick of being the helpless and self destructive freak i have become. i am trying to help people so i dont destroy myself...
    twoinnerwolves twoinnerwolves 16-17, M 4 Responses 5 hrs ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    I am always making my husband and kids take selfies lol. 
    BeachBumMom BeachBumMom 31-35, F 5 Responses 5 hrs ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    I'd like to meet a guy who would use me as his potty.
    TheToiletSlave TheToiletSlave 22-25, M 8 hrs ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    I use to play with the Magic 8 Ball when I was a kid and teenager. Somehow I lost it, so recently I bought a new one and it's just the coolest thing to play with, ha ha! I love the...
    JadeKnight JadeKnight 26-30, T 9 hrs ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    some days I don't even want to be seen knowing how fat I am. I've starved and that led to counceling. now I'm a depressed, self harmer. see what self confidence can do to a person...
    xXNeverGoodEnoughXx xXNeverGoodEnoughXx 13-15, F 10 hrs ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    I've always struggled with my weight, and even though I've lost 100+ pounds I'm still not a stick... But I'm actually okay with that. I see other women with meat on their bones and...
    rarelyfree rarelyfree 41-45, F 1 Response 18 hrs ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    I never thought myself as pretty or beautiful.I was often teased and bullied as a child.Those experiences affected me in such a way that I began to develop low self-esteem at a...
    KAYDUBAU KAYDUBAU 31-35, F 19 hrs ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    I've never talked about this before, not even my best friends. I don't know, I just don't know how to tell them about it. So, first off when it comes to emotions. My emotions are...
    sandalwoods sandalwoods 18-21, F 1 Response 1 day ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    I used to cut and it sucks because now everytime I wear a short sleeve shirt and shorts people ask uncomfortable questions and I just wish they would go away
    melissaosieja melissaosieja 16-17, F 3 Responses 2 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    I used to use this website under another username because I felt so lonely and out of place. My depression got the best of me, but currently I'm so much better. I used drugs...
    nostalgiaa nostalgiaa 13-15, F 1 Response 3 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    For about two to three years, I have self-harmed. Mostly cutting, but I also punched myself, punched objects, starved and made myself throw up {not sure if that the last two are...
    luciethedepressedllama luciethedepressedllama 16-17, F 1 Response 3 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    So self harm was something I struggled with for quite a while. It got pretty bad at one point and recently I have decided I can't do that anymore. I no longer want to do it and I...
    TheSongPlaysWithin TheSongPlaysWithin 18-21, F 2 Responses 4 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    To me it honestly seems like most people today are selfish. I can even admit that I am selfish in some ways. I think it's fine to be selfish sometimes but only to a small extent. A...
    rcmh171822 rcmh171822 18-21, F 1 Response 4 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    EDIT: I am TRYING to use positive self talk but its jumping back & forth. how do you get out of your own head?
    crystalballer27 crystalballer27 22-25, F 1 Response 5 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    I remember when I would cut my wrist ,thighs ,really any where possible. That time In my life was so sad and out of control. It took me 3 years to gain control of me. Gaining self...
    cherryshelby cherryshelby 18-21, F 1 Response 5 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    I self-harm my mouth. And I do consider it a serious issue. My boyfriend has seen the effect it has on my mental health. I have bitten 1/2-1 inch white scars on my lips, tongue...
    Chrossy Chrossy 22-25, F 2 Responses 5 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    It's been a couple months, but all my self harmers , and people that are clean , it feels good to have that control, right? I mean even if you don't want to any more, your life...
    everythursday everythursday 13-15, F 5 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    I knew I wasn't going to resist long. I just keep slipping up. Why do I still feel the need to do it? I am not as depressed as I used to be, I feel pretty good compared to those...
    thornedrose thornedrose 18-21, F 1 Response 6 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    When I open my diary application on my phone the idea of writing there feels odd to me. It does not feel personal though at one time it did. When I write on EP I know someone is...
    honestlyanonymouslyme honestlyanonymouslyme 22-25, F 1 Response a week ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    I used to be someone who actually had motivation to do what they were passionate about. Where did that all go? Now I can barely bring myself to get out of bed in the morning. I...
    GentlyWeepingGuitar GentlyWeepingGuitar 16-17, M 1 Response Jul 24

    Your Response

    Cancel
    I haven't self harmed 9 months now, it's been a struggle and a fight. But I'm making it
    Syyyyyyy14 Syyyyyyy14 16-17, F 2 Responses Jul 23

    Your Response

    Cancel
    I'm not really sure where to start. If anyone manages to get through all of this experience then well done to them. I have a girlfriend, whom I love, and she loves me. I moved to...
    Tomgerine Tomgerine 22-25, M Jul 23

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Hmm....since the blog is gone, maybe I should just start posting everything in here? I can't post everything like I used to in my blog though. ANYONE can see this. The blog allowed...
    cherryxblossom cherryxblossom 26-30, F 3 Responses Jul 23

    Your Response

    Cancel
    inb4 tldr;all these beautiful young ladies hurting themselves for whatever reason. i know .. im 35 and i started cutting when i was .. about 14. ive dealt with it for a very long...
    thegreatruiner thegreatruiner 70+, F Jul 22

    Your Response

    Cancel
    I used to cut myself all over with razors.. I haven't done it in two years :) (yay??)
    mandycandy0123 mandycandy0123 16-17, F 7 Responses Jul 22

    Your Response

    Cancel
    I haven't self-harmed in two months. (Since I was last institutionalized for trying to commit suicide..again.) I've been self harming for a few years now and I've never went more...
    TheMorticiansDaughter TheMorticiansDaughter 13-15, F 4 Responses Jul 22

    Your Response

    Cancel
    i used to think of myself attractive and i do remember that like yesterday..i was one of those teenage guys who would do my hair for more an than an hour to make sure it looks...
    LegendBattles LegendBattles 26-30, M Jul 21

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Summer outfit.. #SummerVibes Its amazing how i use EP to post selfies more than instagram.. Jesus christ. I know lol. But basically i can be myself here and express myself as...
    Sublevarse Sublevarse 18-21, M 1 Response Jul 20

    Your Response

    Cancel
    I used cut myself. I had a really tough time in my life when i was super duper depressed. It was horrible. I did a lot of things that i regret but the one thing I regret most was...
    dorksarecute dorksarecute 16-17, F Jul 19

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Limitless Love I have always been a girl to always have friends & boyfriends at her side at all times. In reality, I believe the reason for this behaviour was because I loved the...
    Outlawbabes Outlawbabes 18-21, F 2 Responses Jul 19

    Your Response

    Cancel
    I did self harm but I been clean but it so hard to let the blade down it's so hard to be happy with your parents liking your brother better and I left aside all I could do is fake...
    cbnnhdxxsfnk cbnnhdxxsfnk 36-40, F Jul 18

    Your Response

    Cancel