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I Use to Be a Self Mutilator

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 50 People

    Used To

    I used to cut my self about 4 months ago. Thanks to one of my good friends, I quit. I used to take long baths, and go in there with a plastic knife, and cut my self. I still have scars to this very day, but always stressed of people finding out. Every once and a while I cut my...
    toughchick101 toughchick101 18-21, F 1 Response Jul 8, 2010

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    Scars of Betrayal

    Well the first time I cut myself was after I read a book about a girl who cuts. I was fully intrigued for some reason and wanted to do it, so the next time I was angry or sad I did. And it was the worst thing I have ever done to myself. Because I was hooked. I did it...
    BlazzinBebe88 BlazzinBebe88 18-21, F 6 Responses Oct 21, 2008

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    Escape

    When i first started self mutilating it was out of anger and i was depressed, my father being an alcoholic and my parents always constantly fighting making my sister and i feel so out of place, my sister became bulimic and between watching my parents and my sister struggle and...
    blackskys blackskys 22-25, F 1 Response Apr 12, 2012

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    Too Old to Be So Messed Up!

    To say that I used to be a self-mutilator isn't 100% accurate. I sort of still want to.  I just realized that picking at scabs is considered to be self-mutilating.  And I am a picker.   I started self mutilating when I was very young.  It stopped...
    toooldforthis toooldforthis 51-55 1 Response Nov 29, 2008

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    Maybe?

    I do it time to time... like years in between so does that count as I used to be? Probably not... oh well
    CrazyHappySad CrazyHappySad 22-25, F Jun 12, 2012

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    I

    its still so tempting i dont know how long i will last. when i started cutting i guess i kind of built myself up to it, got brave enough. one day i stepped on a mirror in my room and instead of cleaning it up, i left it there. it layed there on that floor for a month...
    deleted deleted 26-30 Sep 3, 2009

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    A Long Short Story

    The first time I cut was the first time I heard that no one cared about me. All the family and family friends we're talking around me but would never offer me any criticism. It wasn't the only reason but it was the final push. I didn't even know what I was doing, like I was...
    SequoiaCM SequoiaCM 18-21 3 Responses Apr 27, 2010

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    When I Was Younger

    I started cutting after breaking up with my boyfriend of two years, I'd kinda been curious and it made me feel better, after that i would whenever i was sad or angry at myself. I haven't in a while and now i look down at my leg and i hate my scars i never know...
    hotmess713 hotmess713 18-21, F 1 Response Nov 29, 2008

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    8-|

     I used to do it almost every night when i was 12. I stopped at the age of 16, and sometimes I do miss it. It was just so calming for me at the time, but it now breaks my heart to see it on other people. I feel ashamed for putting my mum and dad and my little sister through...
    thegirlwiththefatcat thegirlwiththefatcat 18-21, F 3 Responses Mar 5, 2009

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    Endurance- Poem

    Endurance A knife lays beside me, Robbing my veins, My ghost lies inside me, Bringing me pain. My soul is reaching for happiness,but it is too far- So my fingers are leaving me with yet another scar. My eyes aren't crying, There searching for hope- My blood is draining, To help...
    TheSunshineheart TheSunshineheart 18-21 1 Response Nov 23, 2011

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    Related Experiences

    Note to self: Do not selfie while drunk
    Colourfi Colourfi 13-15, F 2 Responses 12 hrs ago

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    well i love taking selfie so do others but keep in mind never take a selfie while u r drink coz u might look like a creepiest thing in the world belive me lol
    waris1 waris1 16-17, M 9 hrs ago

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    I haven't cut in over a year. I don't want to start again, but I feel so bad. I admitted to my mom that I have suicidal thoughts and I have trouble with self harming and she didn't...
    thornedrose thornedrose 18-21, F 3 Responses 12 hrs ago

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    happy selfieee saturday :)
    Alliejxo Alliejxo 22-25, F 1 Response 9 hrs ago

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    I just thought of something, to all the cutters and self harmers like myself too let's all try this idea. When you feel the urge to harm yourself close your eyes an count to 10 or...
    ForTheFallen ForTheFallen 22-25, M 6 hrs ago

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    I'm a under-confident teen, I've been cutting myself for 3 years now! Did some ****! I hate my self, i want to be perfect.. Need to loose weight! Need support! I need to become...
    wannabeanorexic4ever wannabeanorexic4ever 13-15, F 5 hrs ago

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    I have a hard time with my looks etc, I was in a marriage and felt like when I got pregnant I wasn't attractive anymore. We divorced he left me for another woman I still have self...
    Kmek3232 Kmek3232 31-35, F 3 hrs ago

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    I feel like the only way I can accomplish a lot of things I aspire to do in life is by gaining confidence and getting rid of my social anxiety. My self-esteem is so ******, I can...
    Realitea Realitea 18-21, F 1 hr ago

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    So, I used to identify with my good side and project my bad side onto others... This is deep stuff, which took me thirty years to fathom... I used to think I wanted to be happy...
    Loufree Loufree 26-30, F 2 Responses 5 days ago

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    I'd like to be honest with you. I don't know you, and you don't know me, and that makes it easier for me to get all of this out. I want to be really honest with someone other than...
    kurioussubmissive kurioussubmissive 18-21, F 1 Response Dec 9

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    I used to have a low self esteem. I used to be emotionally dependent, albeit secretly, upon boyfriends for a sense of worth and happiness. I still have my moments where I wish I...
    topsykrit topsykrit 18-21, F 1 Response 4 days ago

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    im so angry and upset about every thing that is happening and every thing that has happened. i feel like the only way to get it out properly is to make my self feel pain i cant go...
    alysia28 alysia28 13-15, F 1 Response 4 days ago

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    Self esteem issues are real! In fact they are more real now, than they have ever been! Living in a society obsessed by Image! Image! Image!, a society where the world is at the tip...
    pristee88 pristee88 22-25, F Dec 2

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    I HATE MYSELF SO MUCH THAT I AM GOING TO GO ON A SELF-HATING MARATHON... I AM GOING TO NOT BATHE OR BRUSH MY TEETH FOR A WEEK, UNLESS I HAVE TO GO SOMEWHERE BECAUSE I AM UGLY AND...
    ONESTARRYSTARRYNIGHT ONESTARRYSTARRYNIGHT 26-30, F 2 Responses Dec 8

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    This was only in term 1 this year but I use to do self harm but not anymore. Every time I look at my scars, all I feel Is shame and disappointment of what I have done to myself. I...
    1thinginlife 1thinginlife 13-15, F Dec 1

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    I just want to let all the people who say self harming is "dumb" and "pointless", know that they are very ignorant about the situation and they should just shut up. I used to self...
    Roadtorecovery31997 Roadtorecovery31997 16-17, F 1 Response Dec 3

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    Self Directed IRAR17;s essentially can maintain any variety of differing types of property, although the two very best known and many highly regarded precious metals directors for...
    Joseph0368lyk7 Joseph0368lyk7 31-35, M 1 Response Dec 5

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    I am nothing but a shadow of my former self . I was lost somewhere in the deep darkness of hell . Because what I been trough and how people treated me all my life....I changed . I...
    Sjenka Sjenka 36-40, F 5 Responses Dec 7

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    I self harm just about every day. But for what? Why do we do these things to ourselves? I mean I know why but... I started cutting when I was around 16 or 17, but then later...
    trayomis trayomis 31-35, F 1 Response 6 days ago

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    im done with saying i might, maybe , should i the breaking point is 1 thing away. if one more bad thing happens then yes i will self harm. it is sad thinking that by the 30 th i...
    alysia28 alysia28 13-15, F 2 Responses 2 days ago

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    I are now living in Hawaii and if I've had an excessive amount sun I'll use this to my sunburnt shoulders, again and chest prior to mattress. After i wake up in the morning the...
    Logun617p1yt2 Logun617p1yt2 31-35, M 1 Response 20 hrs ago

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    So, like most Gals on This web site, I've thought of receiving breast implants for a long period. I used to be usually incredibly self conscience about my dimension. I had been...
    Alexander6935esh5 Alexander6935esh5 31-35, M 1 Response Dec 3

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    Implement the Stherb cream on Every breast massaging in the circular movement until finally the cream is absolutely absorbed. It really is highly recommended to massage clockwise...
    Ryan505m0vr1 Ryan505m0vr1 31-35, M 1 Response Dec 7

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    I self harmed for almost 5 years straight, yeah I'm scarred up. But I met this person and they helped me and I've been 3 weeks clean, trying hard not to give in. But the struggle...
    xxDarkLoverxx xxDarkLoverxx 13-15, F Dec 11

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    The itch was so painful even soon after I placed on some facial area lotion. I had to lastly washed it off with h2o. I examine online and it said It really is usual and can...
    Aiden3693znb4 Aiden3693znb4 31-35, M 1 Response 17 hrs ago

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    Okay. My experience. Lately at school this girl and I we would tell each other about our problems. We never judged each other. We had a great Bond. She was nice and she helped me...
    XxitsmesarahxX XxitsmesarahxX 13-15, F 3 Responses Nov 22

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    A few years go, my parents go in to HUGE arguments. I hated it. There were some that were just like ehhh and just some that were OMG just stop. I cry every time that my parents...
    cantsaymynamesorry cantsaymynamesorry 13-15, F Nov 22

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    What first brought me to this site was a blog that I came across. I now see that this site has turned for the worst lol... Any who a few of us still use it to vent blog etc...
    simplelife60 simplelife60 22-25, F 2 Responses Nov 23

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    Today i was upset at school i really want to self harm but i left my cutter at home so i use my empty pencil mechanic to self harm well it didn"t bleed at all and the scar is...
    reginacs reginacs 16-17, F Nov 26

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    I'm going to be 6 months clean on the 20th of December, but I don't know if I'll last that long. I've been feeling very, very triggered lately and I don't know what to do. I'm...
    nowimawarrior nowimawarrior 13-15, F 3 Responses Dec 1

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    I realized that I'm really ignorant and selfish. I'm always engraved in my own problems. Things happen around me but I choose to pretend like I don't see them because they put me...
    Shamandora Shamandora 16-17, F Dec 5

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    As a youth I was naïve, but I lost that young man in the tall grass of Viet Nam. I use to oppose prostitution, until I saw women that engaged in prostitution to survive and...
    Jones47 Jones47 61-65, M 1 Response Dec 7

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    {The correct serum, with plenty of vitamin C to really make a difference, can raise collagen cell development and make it easier to get younger and smoother looking pores and skin...
    Ethan5814bpc4 Ethan5814bpc4 31-35, M 1 Response Dec 8

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    {Whilst there have been a handful of instances that he endured from losses, he applied any damaging practical experience as a manual to boost his upcoming endeavors.Patient...
    Willsam936i7gv1 Willsam936i7gv1 31-35, M 1 Response 2 days ago

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    dear: person I am angry at. I looked up to you. You didn't notice because you were busy looking at yourself in the mirror. I did everything you said to please you, to not get on...
    writingforlife6 writingforlife6 18-21, F 4 days ago

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    Anonymous December 2, 2014 at two:forty eight am • Reply I finished lots of study on Vitamin C serum and considering that I cannot afford to pay for the costly kind...
    Joseph9257jwj6 Joseph9257jwj6 31-35, M 1 Response 14 hrs ago

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