Post
Experience Project iOS Android Apps | Download EP for your Mobile Device

I Use to Be a Self Mutilator

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 50 People

    When I Was Younger

    I started cutting after breaking up with my boyfriend of two years, I'd kinda been curious and it made me feel better, after that i would whenever i was sad or angry at myself. I haven't in a while and now i look down at my leg and i hate my scars i never know...
    hotmess713 hotmess713 18-21, F 1 Response Nov 29, 2008

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Too Old to Be So Messed Up!

    To say that I used to be a self-mutilator isn't 100% accurate. I sort of still want to.  I just realized that picking at scabs is considered to be self-mutilating.  And I am a picker.   I started self mutilating when I was very young.  It stopped...
    toooldforthis toooldforthis 51-55 1 Response Nov 29, 2008

    Your Response

    Cancel

    8-|

     I used to do it almost every night when i was 12. I stopped at the age of 16, and sometimes I do miss it. It was just so calming for me at the time, but it now breaks my heart to see it on other people. I feel ashamed for putting my mum and dad and my little sister through...
    thegirlwiththefatcat thegirlwiththefatcat 18-21, F 3 Responses Mar 5, 2009

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I

    its still so tempting i dont know how long i will last. when i started cutting i guess i kind of built myself up to it, got brave enough. one day i stepped on a mirror in my room and instead of cleaning it up, i left it there. it layed there on that floor for a month...
    deleted deleted 26-30 Sep 3, 2009

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Endurance- Poem

    Endurance A knife lays beside me, Robbing my veins, My ghost lies inside me, Bringing me pain. My soul is reaching for happiness,but it is too far- So my fingers are leaving me with yet another scar. My eyes aren't crying, There searching for hope- My blood is draining, To help...
    TheSunshineheart TheSunshineheart 18-21 1 Response Nov 23, 2011

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Scars of Betrayal

    Well the first time I cut myself was after I read a book about a girl who cuts. I was fully intrigued for some reason and wanted to do it, so the next time I was angry or sad I did. And it was the worst thing I have ever done to myself. Because I was hooked. I did it...
    BlazzinBebe88 BlazzinBebe88 18-21, F 6 Responses Oct 21, 2008

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Used To

    I used to cut my self about 4 months ago. Thanks to one of my good friends, I quit. I used to take long baths, and go in there with a plastic knife, and cut my self. I still have scars to this very day, but always stressed of people finding out. Every once and a while I cut my...
    toughchick101 toughchick101 18-21, F 1 Response Jul 8, 2010

    Your Response

    Cancel

    A Long Short Story

    The first time I cut was the first time I heard that no one cared about me. All the family and family friends we're talking around me but would never offer me any criticism. It wasn't the only reason but it was the final push. I didn't even know what I was doing, like I was...
    SequoiaCM SequoiaCM 18-21 3 Responses Apr 27, 2010

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Escape

    When i first started self mutilating it was out of anger and i was depressed, my father being an alcoholic and my parents always constantly fighting making my sister and i feel so out of place, my sister became bulimic and between watching my parents and my sister struggle and...
    blackskys blackskys 22-25, F 1 Response Apr 12, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Maybe?

    I do it time to time... like years in between so does that count as I used to be? Probably not... oh well
    CrazyHappySad CrazyHappySad 22-25, F Jun 12, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Related Experiences

    I feel better with a tan! I also think it makes me look better!
    Courtney011188 Courtney011188 26-30, F 1 Response 1 day ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Question... Used Self harm methods???
    lovealwayz lovealwayz 16-17, F 2 Responses Sep 23

    Your Response

    Cancel
    I honestly don't really know if it's official or not, and I don't want to go to a doctor. I think I'm fine managing by myself. I started to have bad anxiety/depression since last...
    AwfullyRad AwfullyRad 13-15, F 1 Response Sep 18

    Your Response

    Cancel
    The growing trend of taking smartphone selfies is linked to mental health conditions that focus on a person’s obsession with looks. According to psychiatrist Dr David Veal...
    MFBG MFBG 61-65, M Sep 13

    Your Response

    Cancel
    i dont really have much self esteem anymore. i used to be really fat but even then, I was happy and I felt pretty. nowdays, i dont. it's like, everyone tells me im pretty and that...
    TrueLondon TrueLondon 18-21, F Sep 3

    Your Response

    Cancel
    I used to self harm.. It was bad. For a long time I felt and still feel as if I ruined my self. My boyfriend taught me how to love myself again the way I used to when I was little...
    chrissyp7 chrissyp7 18-21, F 2 Responses 2 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Hi I'm new here. This is a pretty personal post as a first story, but I feel like I can just let it all out on a community whom I am a stranger to. Basically, I used to self harm...
    DieWithYourMaskOn DieWithYourMaskOn 13-15, T 3 Responses Sep 8

    Your Response

    Cancel
    That's the understatement. I used to be quiet and reserved, my voice used to be soft, not harsh and raspy, like whiskey and smoker's voice. I HATE living in the duplex my mom and...
    AllThePrettyHorses AllThePrettyHorses 41-45, F 7 Responses Sep 2

    Your Response

    Cancel
    I'm reading an amazing book tonight, entitled "Boundaries and Relationships: Knowing, Protecting, and Enjoying the Self". One part of it made me cry because I just cannot believe...
    mistletoe41 mistletoe41 41-45, F Sep 3

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Cutting is one of the most misunderstood human behaviors. And like any addiction, cutting is an extremely difficult thing to stop. We can become addicted to the chemicals that our...
    findmeholdmeloveme findmeholdmeloveme 18-21 3 Responses Sep 16

    Your Response

    Cancel
    I am very self destructive. I eat too much...or used to...used to cut myself, had sex with numerous people & didn't know most of them...didn't really care at the time. I gamble...
    RubyLane RubyLane 41-45, F Sep 23

    Your Response

    Cancel
    exctually I was always obessed with my weight my look and my physical appearance.last year I made my decision.I went on diet.I started to eat less and exercise.but one or two week...
    redblack4 redblack4 13-15, F 6 Responses Sep 3

    Your Response

    Cancel
    This kind of sh*t is just ridiculous. EP Link Romanticising self harm is just bloody stupid; it's not cute, lovely, 'tragically beautiful' or any of that bullsh*t. It's just a...
    BrokenThread BrokenThread 18-21, F 1 Response Sep 6

    Your Response

    Cancel
    I used to be the meanest and most self-serving person. Friends from that time refuse to associate with me, even when I contact them with sincere apologies. I'm much better now...
    LifeDispenser LifeDispenser 31-35, M 2 Responses Sep 7

    Your Response

    Cancel
    I'm a 55 year old yoga/workout mom. I'm also a woman's self defense expert because I became sick of men grabbing for my butt. Today I was forced to use my self defense for the...
    yogamom55 yogamom55 51-55, F 2 Responses Sep 11

    Your Response

    Cancel
    I think the fact that I admire self discipline implies that I recognize I could use more of it than what I have, at least in dealing with my weaknesses. I wish I could turn off the...
    4myinnerchild 4myinnerchild 51-55, M 1 Response Sep 13

    Your Response

    Cancel
    I remember who I was before I turned into the person I am now. I used to be nice, innocent and selfless until my parents divorced, i got cheated on by my past boyfriends and lied...
    99Problems99 99Problems99 18-21, F 4 Responses Sep 22

    Your Response

    Cancel
    There was a time when I used to self harm, yes. I looked at a blade as a distraction from the hell we call a mind, but all it seemed to do was cause drama among friends, family...
    KellySweetzz KellySweetzz 13-15, F 1 Response 2 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    It threw me to abyss only to feel my demise. I am in no position to negotiate. Falling. Uninformed; Unaware. Chaos surrounds me. Noise. Different tones; I am not able to know...
    Matoy Matoy 18-21, M 1 Response Sep 16

    Your Response

    Cancel
    All round, they carry essentially the most pure information of any fellowship. If you're prepared to locate a solution for medication and alcohol This is actually the location to...
    Anthony825d5cr0 Anthony825d5cr0 31-35, M 1 Response Sep 19

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Should you be possessing problem in getting a tour operator to reply to your complaint, you should use the subsequent rule and complain in regards to the insufficient reaction...
    Jacksonpj05 Jacksonpj05 31-35, M 1 Response Sep 20

    Your Response

    Cancel
    As a boy, I used to hate going to the barbers. Sometimes I'd be taken by my father, or my mother, or rarely, by my grandfather. At all times I'd be given a short, back and sides...
    SLdale SLdale 51-55, M 1 Response Sep 2

    Your Response

    Cancel
    I really wish I had the attention span to give a full explanation. I haven't regularly harmed myself since high school. It's been 13 years since then. I wish I would have gotten...
    piprimate piprimate 26-30, F 1 Response Sep 4

    Your Response

    Cancel
    It's been a while since I thought about self harm , but the urge is back once again.
    mimilsu mimilsu 18-21, F 2 Responses Sep 7

    Your Response

    Cancel
    I used to be friendly and talkative but now i keep on hiding my true self from my new secondary classmates, afraid to let them know i am someone who is not as good as they think.
    wildthoughts33 wildthoughts33 13-15 1 Response Sep 7

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Self harm free one year today. :P -Alyxander
    crazyhyperkid crazyhyperkid 13-15, M 2 Responses Sep 10

    Your Response

    Cancel
    I have very low self esteem I am recently out of a marriage that ended after five years I feel like I don't really deserve to be loved like something's wrong with me. I was in a...
    1sweetnurse 1sweetnurse 31-35, F 6 Responses Sep 12

    Your Response

    Cancel
    I never cut myself. I thought I was strong because of this. But I realised I self-harmed in other ways. I would deny myself good things to punish myself for something. I would...
    kalila37 kalila37 18-21, F 2 Responses Sep 12

    Your Response

    Cancel
    I have friend that I met through work. He had recently broken up with his girlfriend when he started flirting with me, telling me how much he wanted to spend time with me. I...
    Muse20 Muse20 18-21, F 1 Response Sep 16

    Your Response

    Cancel
    I've changed a lot as of late. Not sure where it stems from, but I like it. I'm now taking life by the horns instead riding in the back seat. I was once selfless, and not to say...
    Thediary Thediary 26-30, M 1 Response Sep 16

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Us humans are selfish animals, forcing people into the world into growing up to being productive and submissive or we could care less about them. A conditional existsnce...
    honestyreality honestyreality 22-25, F 1 Response Sep 20

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Good apple & frangipan tart with the apricot & calvados glaze, baked to order & served with vanilla ice productbased whether it is ground floor or 1st floor they may have possibly...
    Jenipe Jenipe 31-35, M 1 Response Sep 20

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Not really anymore I used to have lots but things changed. Iv been in a relationship for nearly 2 years and feel so comfortable with him that I don't really make an effort with...
    willowknight willowknight 22-25, F Sep 21

    Your Response

    Cancel
    As a person who is absolutely proud of being able to deal with difficult or unpleasant people with grace, I have hit the wall with dealing with my mother in law. Here is a woman...
    Xiramat Xiramat 26-30, F Sep 22

    Your Response

    Cancel
    I've slowed down on taking selfies... I used to take a lot more.
    aparadiso08 aparadiso08 22-25, F 4 Responses Sep 22

    Your Response

    Cancel
    The 2014 version of ABTA Expo & Convention provides a novelty – Showcase Arena, a space for shows of scenario studies and items, with intense action and alternatives for...
    Temple2516ja Temple2516ja 31-35, M 1 Response 6 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    It used to be for a reason, which I prefer not to state yet. But now it's like a drug, an addiction. Like I'm yearning for it, I want to cut. I want to feel the blade cutting my...
    CurvyBones17 CurvyBones17 16-17, F 1 Response 3 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    After a discovery that my former roomate/co worker had placed a hidden camera in my bedroom for 2 months and was recording me 'I am not the person I use to be'. I soon...
    adoremii adoremii 22-25, F 3 Responses Sep 2

    Your Response

    Cancel