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I Use to Be a Self Mutilator

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 50 People

    A Long Short Story

    The first time I cut was the first time I heard that no one cared about me. All the family and family friends we're talking around me but would never offer me any criticism. It wasn't the only reason but it was the final push. I didn't even know what I was doing, like I was...
    SequoiaCM SequoiaCM 18-21 3 Responses Apr 27, 2010

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    Used To

    I used to cut my self about 4 months ago. Thanks to one of my good friends, I quit. I used to take long baths, and go in there with a plastic knife, and cut my self. I still have scars to this very day, but always stressed of people finding out. Every once and a while I cut my...
    toughchick101 toughchick101 18-21, F 1 Response Jul 8, 2010

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    Scars of Betrayal

    Well the first time I cut myself was after I read a book about a girl who cuts. I was fully intrigued for some reason and wanted to do it, so the next time I was angry or sad I did. And it was the worst thing I have ever done to myself. Because I was hooked. I did it...
    BlazzinBebe88 BlazzinBebe88 18-21, F 6 Responses Oct 21, 2008

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    8-|

     I used to do it almost every night when i was 12. I stopped at the age of 16, and sometimes I do miss it. It was just so calming for me at the time, but it now breaks my heart to see it on other people. I feel ashamed for putting my mum and dad and my little sister through...
    thegirlwiththefatcat thegirlwiththefatcat 18-21, F 3 Responses Mar 5, 2009

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    Maybe?

    I do it time to time... like years in between so does that count as I used to be? Probably not... oh well
    CrazyHappySad CrazyHappySad 22-25, F Jun 12, 2012

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    Escape

    When i first started self mutilating it was out of anger and i was depressed, my father being an alcoholic and my parents always constantly fighting making my sister and i feel so out of place, my sister became bulimic and between watching my parents and my sister struggle and...
    blackskys blackskys 22-25, F 1 Response Apr 12, 2012

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    When I Was Younger

    I started cutting after breaking up with my boyfriend of two years, I'd kinda been curious and it made me feel better, after that i would whenever i was sad or angry at myself. I haven't in a while and now i look down at my leg and i hate my scars i never know...
    hotmess713 hotmess713 18-21, F 1 Response Nov 29, 2008

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    I

    its still so tempting i dont know how long i will last. when i started cutting i guess i kind of built myself up to it, got brave enough. one day i stepped on a mirror in my room and instead of cleaning it up, i left it there. it layed there on that floor for a month...
    deleted deleted 26-30 Sep 3, 2009

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    Too Old to Be So Messed Up!

    To say that I used to be a self-mutilator isn't 100% accurate. I sort of still want to.  I just realized that picking at scabs is considered to be self-mutilating.  And I am a picker.   I started self mutilating when I was very young.  It stopped...
    toooldforthis toooldforthis 51-55 1 Response Nov 29, 2008

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    Endurance- Poem

    Endurance A knife lays beside me, Robbing my veins, My ghost lies inside me, Bringing me pain. My soul is reaching for happiness,but it is too far- So my fingers are leaving me with yet another scar. My eyes aren't crying, There searching for hope- My blood is draining, To help...
    TheSunshineheart TheSunshineheart 18-21 1 Response Nov 23, 2011

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    Related Experiences

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    If you cut or use to, please read this. I'm doing a survey for future understanding of self harm as I may become a therapist. I understand that a lot of people don't like talking...
    akaShaun akaShaun 16-17, M 8 Responses 3 days ago

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    I forget my self in nowhere..I want to turnback time where I used to know my self well..where we used to be friend..Now..nothing I will do will change my life..sometimes I forget...
    denez denez 22-25, F Aug 3

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    This is a new thing to me. I have never before cut in my life. But my teachers used to think i self harmed. I used to not care if i got hurt, id always have cuts and stuff cos i...
    LifeOnAThread LifeOnAThread 18-21, F 2 Responses Aug 8

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    2Years later and I still think about it... I didn't start until I was 13 and had never even heard about it my childhood was a very painful one filled with abuse and neglect as...
    Forbiddenkisses Forbiddenkisses 22-25, F 2 Responses Aug 10

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    I live alone. Have a few number of friends. Don't have family close by. No boyfriend/ children. My only responsibility is my flat. I have to be tight/frugal with my money because...
    lilygeorge12 lilygeorge12 22-25, F 1 Response Aug 1

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    19 weeks clean today...that's right!! Every week I just get more excited!! I can't believe I'm almost at 5 months...last time I made it 4 and I lost it all...this time is different...
    ashricard ashricard 18-21, F 1 Response Aug 4

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    Not ready to go into details but I self harm because at the moment it's the only way out for me. But I'm terribly scared no one will accept me for that. What do guys -or does...
    carrotshallot carrotshallot 18-21, F 3 Responses Aug 5

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    I find it very hard to find self confidence. I don't have anyone to talk to about my problems. My parents don't understand either. I talk to God but I long for a human to talk to...
    Lifeisgood2100 Lifeisgood2100 13-15, F 1 Response Aug 7

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    Here I am, a single overweight mom and teacher at the age of 38. Been single since ex H left me for office **** at 7 months pregnant. So yeah that is depressing and I used to be...
    smcordova smcordova 36-40, F 5 Responses Jul 23

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    since the age of 12 i have self harmed, i have a lot of scars and i regret them all but i still cant help but cut myself, however i used to do it daily and now its once a week or...
    fantasycaver fantasycaver 22-25, F 2 Responses Aug 2

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    I don't feel like having my name on here incase someone I know is reading this, but I'm a 15 year old Australian. and I self mutilate. The Sunday before I went back to school I...
    bonedecay bonedecay 13-15, F 2 Responses Aug 7

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    this has been happening ever since day one. whenever I do something I am really proud of, other people do not notice or congratulate me, resulting in me thinking I am bad at...
    hazzyxox hazzyxox 13-15, F 2 Responses Jul 25

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    USED to is the key word here and it was a one time thing in a time of desperation. We lost our child and I think the emotions overcame me. I was looking into the mirror and...
    Chicgeekgal Chicgeekgal 22-25, F 1 Response Jul 28

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    Michael592w2ui6 Michael592w2ui6 31-35, M 1 Response Aug 9

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    In a nutshell I wasn't convinced at first. But! <-- this could be a pun. It kind of helped. After doing it take a bath and wear new clean clothing since it kind of has some side...
    rollerbladesslide rollerbladesslide 26-30, F 3 Responses Aug 10

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    Have you ever loved someone so much but that person wasn't your boyfriend or a part of your family. You spend each day thinking about them, even if its just something as simple as...
    wishitwouldend wishitwouldend 16-17, F 2 Responses a week ago

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    This all started when I was in middle school because I had and still struggle with my weight because back in middle school I was pretty much overweight my entire life. In middle...
    Jordanbeautiful Jordanbeautiful 18-21, F 4 days ago

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    I'm a black woman,who used to look like Rasputia from the movie Norbit, until I got a makeover. I went from over 300 lbs to about 134 at 5'5.Losing weight was one of the best...
    msjennycraig msjennycraig 31-35, F 1 Response 3 days ago

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    Things that may limit your personal improvement generally originate coming from a destructive condition of thoughts. This inhibits your power to get a good deal more and realize...
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    My friends don't know a thing about the fact that I cut. I don't know if it's wrong to do it. Because maybe you should only do so if you are really really depressed, otherwise you...
    carrotshallot carrotshallot 18-21, F 3 Responses Aug 3

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    I don't like calling single person pictures selfies anymore.. It's just WAY over used.. I'm calling them self portraits. #Waterbugs. 👌
    KianHayesThot KianHayesThot 13-15, F Aug 4

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    Lately I've been struggling with happiness... I'm depressed because I'm a horrible person... I have been with my fiancée for 4 years now and out of that 4 years we have never...
    RHorne1990 RHorne1990 22-25, F 2 Responses a week ago

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    Nathan3172lki8 Nathan3172lki8 31-35, M 1 Response 4 days ago

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    I used to do it for crap reasons- I thought I'd be 'interesting', I thought this guy would love me back. But after a while, after I stopped and then relapsed, I started loving it...
    HorizonHeart HorizonHeart 13-15, F 5 Responses 3 days ago

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    I used to. Not so long ago i was there,. I used to cut, i used to scratch my skin off, pull or cut parts of my hair off. It was a way to destruct myself from the emotional pain...
    MayaMoonShadow MayaMoonShadow 16-17, F 1 Response Aug 5

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    Aiden260r0pd4 Aiden260r0pd4 31-35, M 1 Response Aug 8

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    Doctors send so much time trying to make people feel good about them self. Some people only have a very limited amount of things to feel about. When the job you have been at for 2...
    Linndsay Linndsay 26-30 Jul 22

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    Hes left me. Its been a while since iv cut but iv cut myself to bits this time. I tried to feel anything but the pain of being unloved. I feel pathetic, used, unlovable, and...
    Stiggyb Stiggyb 26-30, F 4 Responses Jul 22

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    My story can be quite a long one, but to sum it up semi-quickly I had started cutting myself on my 16th birthday. I truly can't remember what had caused me to start, I just know...
    LostInALife LostInALife 22-25, F 2 Responses Jul 25

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    I never did regret selfharm was my mum that made me stop,Not as if she gives a **** about my life now anyway none of them do maybe thats the only option ive got now ;') x
    DepressedKidd DepressedKidd 13-15, F Jul 25

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    When i was young, it always appeared somewhat strange to me, when i watched friends or relatives making first experiences with cigarettes and alcohol. (Beer, sparkling wine and...
    MichaelSan1980 MichaelSan1980 31-35, M Jul 27

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