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I Use to Be a Self Mutilator

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 49 People

    Endurance- Poem

    Endurance A knife lays beside me, Robbing my veins, My ghost lies inside me, Bringing me pain. My soul is reaching for happiness,but it is too far- So my fingers are leaving me with yet another scar. My eyes aren't crying, There searching for hope- My blood is draining, To help...
    TheSunshineheart TheSunshineheart 18-21 Nov 23, 2011

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    When I Was Younger

    I started cutting after breaking up with my boyfriend of two years, I'd kinda been curious and it made me feel better, after that i would whenever i was sad or angry at myself. I haven't in a while and now i look down at my leg and i hate my scars i never know...
    hotmess713 hotmess713 18-21, F 1 Response Nov 29, 2008

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    Used To

    I used to cut my self about 4 months ago. Thanks to one of my good friends, I quit. I used to take long baths, and go in there with a plastic knife, and cut my self. I still have scars to this very day, but always stressed of people finding out. Every once and a while I cut my...
    toughchick101 toughchick101 18-21, F 1 Response Jul 8, 2010

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    A Long Short Story

    The first time I cut was the first time I heard that no one cared about me. All the family and family friends we're talking around me but would never offer me any criticism. It wasn't the only reason but it was the final push. I didn't even know what I was doing, like I was...
    SequoiaCM SequoiaCM 18-21 3 Responses Apr 27, 2010

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    Too Old to Be So Messed Up!

    To say that I used to be a self-mutilator isn't 100% accurate. I sort of still want to.  I just realized that picking at scabs is considered to be self-mutilating.  And I am a picker.   I started self mutilating when I was very young.  It stopped...
    toooldforthis toooldforthis 51-55 1 Response Nov 29, 2008

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    8-|

     I used to do it almost every night when i was 12. I stopped at the age of 16, and sometimes I do miss it. It was just so calming for me at the time, but it now breaks my heart to see it on other people. I feel ashamed for putting my mum and dad and my little sister through...
    thegirlwiththefatcat thegirlwiththefatcat 18-21, F 3 Responses Mar 5, 2009

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    Scars of Betrayal

    Well the first time I cut myself was after I read a book about a girl who cuts. I was fully intrigued for some reason and wanted to do it, so the next time I was angry or sad I did. And it was the worst thing I have ever done to myself. Because I was hooked. I did it...
    BlazzinBebe88 BlazzinBebe88 18-21, F 6 Responses Oct 21, 2008

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    I

    its still so tempting i dont know how long i will last. when i started cutting i guess i kind of built myself up to it, got brave enough. one day i stepped on a mirror in my room and instead of cleaning it up, i left it there. it layed there on that floor for a month...
    deleted deleted 26-30 Sep 3, 2009

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    Maybe?

    I do it time to time... like years in between so does that count as I used to be? Probably not... oh well
    CrazyHappySad CrazyHappySad 26-30, F Jun 12, 2012

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    angoracheck53 angoracheck53 41-45, F 4 hrs ago

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    angoracheck53 angoracheck53 41-45, F 5 hrs ago

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    I was used by a girlfriend. I loved her and was given all the responsibilities of her boyfriend, but none of the privileges. Don't get me wrong, we had sex; but, to me, sex isn't a...
    4lornhope 4lornhope 51-55, M 5 hrs ago

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    Self control is letting go of needing to control everything around you. When we lack self control we have to be the one to decide how much, and when, and where etc... We have to be...
    ItisonlyI ItisonlyI 26-30, M 1 Response 7 hrs ago

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    All me :) - Can't stand when people use Google -.-
    ModifiedMamaofTwo ModifiedMamaofTwo 18-21, F 7 Responses 11 hrs ago

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    Yes its me ChelseaLee, i found AB to be a fun yet very boring site the 2 years i was there, i meet a lot of nice and some not so nice people just like here on EP To anybody who...
    ExtremeNext ExtremeNext 26-30, F 3 Responses 14 hrs ago

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    I used to have so much self respect.. Now I have very little.. I've done stupid things that have thrown my integrity on the line to try and win someone back into my life
    Catho Catho 18-21, F 14 hrs ago

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    How do you tell someone you selfharm?
    AmandizzLove06 AmandizzLove06 16-17, F 16 hrs ago

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    I used to self harm. haven't for two years. believe it or not I still struggle with the thought of doing it. I thought I wouldn't anymore.. it's been two years, you know? I...
    lydiamarie15 lydiamarie15 16-17, F 2 days ago

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    How patient can you expect another to be? How much **** is too much? How self centered is too self centered? I'm not sure what the answered are- But I know what the questions are...
    loveCT loveCT 41-45, F 4 Responses 3 days ago

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    Note to self...staying out til 4 am drinking, dancing, and whatnot is not as easy as it used to be.
    txbtrfly txbtrfly 41-45, F 12 Responses 4 days ago

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    After 45 years of marriage my mom has finally decided to leave my dad, she was finally reached her limit of his laziness, cheating and selfishness. So, when she left 2 months ago...
    SassNClass37 SassNClass37 36-40, F 5 days ago

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    I used to self harm for a lot of reasons and in a lot of different ways. I self harmed because I was scared and angry. I did it because I was abused by one of my treatment centers...
    LateApology LateApology 16-17, F 1 Response 5 days ago

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    I used to be so open, innocent, happy, confident, lively and had a good self esteem. Ever since I started high school two years ago, it's changed me. I now have very little self...
    taytay1401 taytay1401 13-15, F 1 Response 5 days ago

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    I self harm and yet I'm not ashamed of my scars nor do I hide them any more. I used to cut on my arm till one drunk night I cut so deep I gave my self permanent nerve damage in my...
    cosciatony cosciatony 26-30, M 6 days ago

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    I really want to kill myself. My life is going on horribly. My mother has psychotic depression, she has been on an affair for 9 years & has just recently stopped after being...
    mangoseed mangoseed 18-21, F 1 Response 6 days ago

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    People always wonder what's the gain out of self harming.. And I was like "I feel so much better" but I was wrong. There is no gain. Glad I stopped. I actually feel pretty lame...
    Alltimefreak Alltimefreak 22-25, F 1 Response 6 days ago

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    I feel pretty lame that I self harmed. my dad is emotionally, verbally, and mentally abusive towards me. I guess anytime he was abusive towards me that's when I'd self harm. I...
    haleymc haleymc 18-21, F 3 Responses 6 days ago

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    I am 26 and I lost one of my front teeth. Guess what? Chipped right to the gum. Dentist said there was no hope, unless I have money to buy my way out of such a tragedy...
    myfungasm myfungasm 26-30, M 1 Response 6 days ago

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    I used to. I haven't in a while, tho.... but, yes. I cut my self....
    craigslist504 craigslist504 36-40 Aug 19

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    i used to be christian. my family went to a fundamentalist chrurch. there they told me being gay is a choice, theyre going to hell, leviticus, blah blah blah. then i started having...
    Angelaco13 Angelaco13 13-15, M 2 Responses Aug 19

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    I used to self harm a few months back but then I did it again last night. It's been so hard because my girlfriend has been all depressed and I've made her feel better but I've gone...
    JoshKilbride2 JoshKilbride2 13-15, M 1 Response Aug 18

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    But in a good way! I found the courage to change for the better, improve on myself, love myself. I'm not ashamed of who I used to be. My experiences have made me into the strong...
    Lotusflower80 Lotusflower80 31-35, F 3 Responses Aug 17

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    I just self-harm a few minutes ago.. I tried drawing on my self or use ice cubes to calm down the urge.. End up doing it anyway. I gotten in a argument with my parents and they...
    Soullessangel16 Soullessangel16 16-17, F Aug 17

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    I think I've self harmed off and on from 6th grade to about a month or so ago. I've done plenty of things just to feel pain cutting, branding, needles, hitting myself and solid...
    thatonedudecaleb thatonedudecaleb 16-17, M Aug 16

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    I have low self esteem issues. I suppose all my life I felt like I was ugly. Being bullied throughout my school days made me feel less of myself. I do not think I have ever spoken...
    BreakingTheRules BreakingTheRules 26-30, F 5 Responses Aug 14

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    I used to be a heavy metal singer but my voice has taken an awful turn because in a gig I kinda choked/locked vocal chord or something and now I can barely do the gutturals without...
    BleedAshes BleedAshes 18-21, M Aug 14

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    and I often think of doing it again. The "switch" has gone off maybe three times since I stopped years ago, and I have to immediately shut my brain down from proceeding. You know...
    hexgrl2k hexgrl2k 26-30, F 1 Response Aug 13

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    What haven't I done. I've taken one of those stapler guns to my head and body. Cut myself all over with a knife. Nailed my hand to a board several times. Smashed a glass bottle on...
    DeathSaw DeathSaw 31-35, M 1 Response Aug 12

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