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I Use to Be a Self Mutilator

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 51 People

    A Long Short Story - The first time I cut was the first time I heard that no one cared about me. All the family and family friends we're talking around me but would never offer...
    SequoiaCM SequoiaCM 18-21 3 Responses Apr 27, 2010

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    Escape - When i first started self mutilating it was out of anger and i was depressed, my father being an alcoholic and my parents always constantly fighting making my sister and i...
    blackskys blackskys 22-25, F 1 Response Apr 12, 2012

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    When I Was Younger - I started cutting after breaking up with my boyfriend of two years, I'd kinda been curious and it made me feel better, after that i would whenever i was...
    hotmess713 hotmess713 18-21, F 1 Response Nov 29, 2008

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    Used To - I used to cut my self about 4 months ago. Thanks to one of my good friends, I quit. I used to take long baths, and go in there with a plastic knife, and cut my self. I...
    toughchick101 toughchick101 18-21, F 1 Response Jul 8, 2010

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    8-| -  I used to do it almost every night when i was 12. I stopped at the age of 16, and sometimes I do miss it. It was just so calming for me at the time, but it now breaks...
    thegirlwiththefatcat thegirlwiththefatcat 18-21, F 3 Responses Mar 5, 2009

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    Too Old to Be So Messed Up! - To say that I used to be a self-mutilator isn't 100% accurate. I sort of still want to.  I just realized that picking at scabs is...
    toooldforthis toooldforthis 51-55 1 Response Nov 29, 2008

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    Scars of Betrayal - Well the first time I cut myself was after I read a book about a girl who cuts. I was fully intrigued for some reason and wanted to do it, so the next time I...
    BlazzinBebe88 BlazzinBebe88 18-21, F 6 Responses Oct 21, 2008

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    A Teardrop - It started at 13, I don't remember the exact moment but I remember the feeling. I felt blissful after the first cut and before I knew it I was addicted. The cutting...
    crossbonesandstars crossbonesandstars 22-25, F 2 Responses Sep 15, 2009

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    Maybe? - I do it time to time... like years in between so does that count as I used to be? Probably not... oh well
    CrazyHappySad CrazyHappySad 22-25, F Jun 12, 2012

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    Related Experiences

    My mother brought over some toiletries for my apartment, which included a box of Venus disposable shavers. I broke one apart as soon as she left. I don't know what it is about new...
    FarrahRelates FarrahRelates 18-21, F 3 Responses 1 hr ago

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    What is the journey of self discovery? How do you know when you've reached it? I don't believe you do know when you've reached it. The journey of self discovery is life. We get so...
    LaughLoveLiveHope LaughLoveLiveHope 26-30, F 1 Response 6 hrs ago

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    I believe that without selfishness world can become a better place. That includes the corruption and stuffs like that. Don't act like you own things that you really don't. Don't...
    yuichie yuichie 13-15, F 12 hrs ago

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    My Life Of Drug Addiction By: An Addict named brad In the beginning, I shot myself in the head. Three times. With a nail gun. As I remember, it didn’t really hurt all that...
    sober4life sober4life 41-45, M 5 hrs ago

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    I WILL NOT SELF HARM. I am fed up of hurting myself, I am fed up of hurting and I am worth recovery. So are you. I decided to put up a list of things to do instead of cutting...
    writercookies writercookies 13-15, F 1 Response 11 hrs ago

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    All Things Run In Cycles - The Path Through The Darkness If there is one thing I have learned for certain it is that ALL things run in cycles. Funerals and weddings and...
    NoahBody123 NoahBody123 51-55 3 hrs ago

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    For you (many, girls), who cut yourselves. Please remember that some of us love you, care about you. ----- Food for thought (an article from Psychology Today) ----- Sax on Sex...
    Karll Karll 56-60, M 1 Response Mar 29

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    Just for fun I again used both my real name and my username Wraithorn. Again I received rather similar results. The first is for Wraithorn, although i must say that i do not...
    wraithorn wraithorn 41-45, M Mar 26

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    Need a fem for sum fun but can't use mic
    scottishbigguy scottishbigguy 22-25, M 4 hrs ago

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    I hate my self harm scars. I can't wear any shorts that I used to. They aren't so big or so many of them. But their all white and I don't know what to do. I don't want to tell my...
    anetteton anetteton 13-15, F Mar 26

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    I hate my self harm scars. I can't wear any shorts that I used to. They aren't so big or so many of them. But their all white and I don't know what to do. I don't want to tell my...
    anetteton anetteton 13-15, F 2 Responses Mar 26

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    I self harm. I've been self harming since i was 11 years old i am now 14 and i am slowly starting to recover. A year ago i attempted suicide and nearly succeed, but my best mate...
    jayspiller1 jayspiller1 13-15, F 1 Response 1 day ago

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    ***May be triggering i don't know*** Some of my story (sorry it's kinda long) I've been bullied since I moved in grade one. I'm used to it to tell the truth. I found out last...
    Darkerthanlightash Darkerthanlightash 16-17, F 1 Response Mar 22

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    This is what someone else posted on FB: "Wanna kill yourself? Imagine this. You come home from school one day. You've had yet another horrible day. You’re just ready to give up...
    phoebegolde phoebegolde 16-17, F 2 Responses Mar 26

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    (Skip to next paragraph to skip my rant, I have some questions) I'm not fun or cool and I don't have special qualities, I feel like I'm stuck in one small square and I'll never be...
    mahnouls mahnouls 16-17 1 Response Apr 7

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    That night I was scrolling through tumblr. I recently searched up the words skinny, thigh gap, anorexia, collar bones, death, self harm,....etc. I decided I would film what goes...
    MorbidRainbow MorbidRainbow 13-15, F 1 Response 4 days ago

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    So this is supposed to be a place where I can be myself so here goes. I did used to self harm, I don't anymore. I haven't in almost a month. I was bullied really bad and people...
    TrishaUndefined TrishaUndefined 13-15, F 2 Responses Mar 17

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    I used to be this big, before I got addicted to laxatives and binge eating/ self harm. I have fully recovered now but then, I was bullied for years and years until I lost weight.
    caminut caminut 13-15, F Mar 17

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    Women!! Don't be that self-absorbed, selfish, hurtful (stuck-up) type girl... Anyone can be that person... If people tell you that you should be a model, an actress, or simple...
    zbabi3 zbabi3 22-25, F Mar 18

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    There are so many people on here saying how they want to stop or are however long clean... But that's not me. I'm nowhere near that, I am wondering here in this dark place. It...
    RedDawn19 RedDawn19 13-15, F 3 Responses Mar 20

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    my advice to everyone- the best thing you can do for yourself is never start. I'm 14 and i struggled with self harm for a year, i'll admit i loved it. the blood running down my...
    SamTornado SamTornado 13-15, F 1 Response Apr 1

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    For three years straight. Depression runs in the family and I wanted to kill myself thousands of times before and yes I guess you can get addicted to it but I don't think self harm...
    rose114 rose114 16-17, F Mar 18

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    I used to self harm last year. I'm starting to have those feelings and I really want to go back to the blade. Call me crazy. I don't care. But one thing that stops me doing so. My...
    HydroChronexia HydroChronexia 13-15, F Mar 26

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    I started self-harming at the age of 12 years old, but it didn't turn into a problem, or serious enough to remember till I was about 13 years old or so. I was in a dark place at...
    NYSlilAngel NYSlilAngel 26-30, F 1 Response Mar 27

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    I'm not going to go into much of the background, but the experience is something I've kept inside of me and is dying for a release. It began when everyone around me became so fed...
    borderlinesymmetry borderlinesymmetry 13-15, F 5 days ago

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    I went to the bathroom and just sat there. I used to self harm a lot when I was younger. But tonight, I felt the need to do it again. My life may not be the best, but it's also not...
    missmotox missmotox 18-21, F 1 day ago

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    When I was about ten, that's when I started my post-depression. I used to take sleeping pills, and I used to harm myself. It was awful, I only knew how to do these things because...
    smallfriesbaby smallfriesbaby 16-17, F 1 Response Mar 16

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    I don't know where the hell it originated from. I used to believe in myself, but I lost that. I never really had much confidence. Probably because I was emotionally abused by my...
    NeonPurple NeonPurple 18-21, F 1 Response Mar 18

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    My mum has just told be that she can't look at any of the photos of me when I was younger because I used to be so perfect. And now, my scars just upset her so she is going to take...
    SmileBecauseItHappened SmileBecauseItHappened 18-21, F 1 Response Mar 18

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    There's an episode in Supernatural where Sam is hallucinating every bad memory he had and he would squeeze his scar on his hand to differentiate what was actually reality. Last...
    FarrahRelates FarrahRelates 18-21, F 2 Responses Mar 20

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    Because I feel like I'm a pest wherever I am, a surplus to the group. Someone who happened to just be there, nonexistent to everyone around me or ignored cuz they feel disgust or...
    GrumpyGrouchy GrumpyGrouchy 22-25, F 1 Response Mar 24

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    I'm super depressed and literally have nobody who cares about me. I self harm with my hair straightener and slowly press it against my skin and wait for it to slowly burn away at...
    sammylynn333 sammylynn333 16-17, F 3 Responses Mar 25

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    I have had low self esteem for 4 years. After all that happened and all those conflict with my used to be friends, i just didnt want attention to myself anymore. Everytime i get...
    Amature14 Amature14 13-15, F 2 Responses Mar 26

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    I don't self harm anymore but a lot of bites I still feel the sensation of pain on my arm. Where I used to cut. I won't lay a scratch but I still feel it and a lot of time it calls...
    Darkflowers Darkflowers 13-15, F 1 Response Mar 30

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    Some users just go on adding everyone on the planet into their circle and go on bragging about their so called problems and when someone tries to help, they never even respond and...
    thestranger89 thestranger89 22-25, M Mar 31

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    Sometimes I think about it just for karma, if someone hurt my feelings I'll hurt myself and they'd somehow feel it later cuz karma will punish them. Crazy idea right? You know why...
    GrumpyGrouchy GrumpyGrouchy 22-25, F 2 Responses Apr 2

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    We'll as you can see I self harm.. I suffer from clinical depression. I am having some pretty bad relationship issues that fuel my depression. I cut because it reminds me I don't...
    smokygreywolf smokygreywolf 13-15, M 2 Responses a week ago

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    I have this one thing to destroy the little bit of shyness I still have as a nudist. When I go to a place and un-dress to be nude, I have this one thing I always do. I take off my...
    africanude africanude 51-55, M 5 days ago

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    Well we all go through that phase of, "The world hates me! I'll never fit in! I'm a freak!" Well I went through that and sometimes feel that I still am. My experience is self...
    vanmaury vanmaury 13-15, F 1 Response 20 hrs ago

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    I used to self harm...those are my scars..
    cleanCutter5 cleanCutter5 13-15, F 1 Response 20 hrs ago

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    my wife of 14 years is treating me like a slave she never does anything around the house cooking cleaning etc she is only interested in Avon cosmetics and it takes up all of her...
    justchris123 justchris123 46-50, M Mar 17

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    I use to wear her panties , bra ect... wanna i want wear saree my self n show my wife how can i do that
    lakshmipriya919 lakshmipriya919 26-30, M Mar 19

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    So, I need to write something, otherwise I won't be able to get it out of my head. Today, my dad and I had a stupid argument. But, you know, nothing new. After awhile I was...
    Xxnichole9412xx Xxnichole9412xx 18-21, F 1 Response Mar 21