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I Used To Be In A Sexless Marriage

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 79 People

    Something has changed

    since just a few weeks ago. Im different and i dont know why. I have wanted to change for a long long time. And finally its happening. I love him again. Not the infatuated in-love. Some loves start off with a lot of passion. My didnt. But it grew gradually. Then it stopped...
    Stefunie Stefunie 46-50, F 5 Responses May 23

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    In a Christian marriage a couple should submit

    there bodies to each other. The exception is an agreed upon period of abstinence for sake of prayer and spiritual growth.
    Stefunie Stefunie 46-50, F 1 Response May 25

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    Yes, Sexless Marriage Is Repairable

    Let's start an optimists group for those rare souls who have braved sexless marriage and emerged with their relationship intact and intimacy restored. Yes it is possible! No, it's not easy. And it's not always worth it. But for those with a lot to lose, and as much to gain, there...
    porcpuffer porcpuffer 41-45, M 11 Responses Oct 24, 2011

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    ...and in the morning we woke together (not in

    separate rooms!) and he told the dream he just had. That hasn't happened since i don't remember when and its a little thing but means a lot. It was a strange dream about work and we were cracking up! Today his goodbye was very sweet. I hope i can deserve these positive...
    Stefunie Stefunie 46-50, F 1 Response 2 days ago

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    The End

    This morning, my divorce was granted. Strangely, I feel no jubilation, no real happiness. No regrets, just sorry that it had to bethis way.Twenty-three years.I want to express my gratitude to all the people I have corresponded with here.To Nitwitty, Whenif, Flyingstone...
    theaterlover theaterlover 61-65, M 7 Responses Jan 20, 2012

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    I Was A Co-dependent Enabler To A Very Very Selfish Person.

    Just thinking - I was a co-dependent enabler to a very very selfish person.Wow.  My husband was like a spoiled child with no rules or boundaries. And, the more I did for him the more he didn’t love me. Um, I would have thought that would be backwards but hey, what do I know...
    Backlite Backlite 46-50, F 5 Responses Oct 26, 2011

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    Parents say to wait until marriage to have sex

    - no explanation. This book gives those explanations. People need to hear what it says on issues of sexuality, marriage, and celibacy. It has impacted marriages in incredible ways. Couples will just want to tell everybody the path to a loving marriage. What does it mean to be...
    Stefunie Stefunie 46-50, F 1 Response 6 days ago

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    Going Forward....

    On October 27th, I finally left my loveless marriage of 43 years..I am in the process of healing, and many of my friends here have said, simply go forward , don't look back..just get on with living the life you were deprived of for so many years. The problem with that is, there...
    neuilly neuilly 61-65, F 7 Responses Nov 13, 2011

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    Letting Go

    I have just left a very long sexless marriage, and so i sympathize with everyone still struggling with the sexless marriage problem.I know the decisions are tough, and it is a very difficult decision to face, because the options are to either repair the marriage or leave. And...
    neuilly neuilly 61-65, F 12 Responses Oct 24, 2011

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    Related Experiences

    Baby Steps - Once we acknowledge our sexless marriages will never improve and we need to end our dysfunctional relationships, many of us feel overwhelmed by the seemingly...
    CherishMe2 CherishMe2 51-55, F 5 Responses 1 hr ago

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    Hello all you wonderful EP folks, I have another update on my formerly sexless marriage. If you want the back story, read my previous posts as they will shed light on the progress...
    mistereko mistereko 36-40, M 13 Responses Jul 14

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    "Im in a sexless marriage but I won't cheat on my spouse." The problem you hope to never face but are never prepared to face. Often people are at the end of their rope, having...
    Happablap Happablap 26-30, M 7 Responses 6 days ago

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    I'm 29, married for 5 years, 2 beautiful kids. Unfortunately like most here I live in a sexless marriage. I have for several years. Now some will say, your young and just not happy...
    incognito21 incognito21 26-30, M 15 Responses Jul 1

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    I have posted a couple of times about my refuser and our sexless marriage, but feel compelled to post an update. We are in marriage counseling, and she is also getting some...
    mistereko mistereko 36-40, M 17 Responses Jul 5

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    Sexless Marriage is a Biblical Reason for Divorce This is a re-post of a comment I wrote to someone that TheWendigo suggested I post as a story, in case it helps anyone. I am...
    UndefinedValue UndefinedValue 31-35, F 13 Responses 5 days ago

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    I've been in a sexless marriage for 14 years. It started going down hill within the first year and I knew then something wasn't right. I've poured my heart out to him so many times...
    ABlueChristine ABlueChristine 41-45, F 19 Responses Jun 29

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    I was reading different peoples posts and started thinking that it is interesting how our wants and needs in the bedroom vary greatly. What turns one person on might offend someone...
    RMCG RMCG 51-55, F 11 Responses Jul 2

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    My college sweetheart and I have been married 21 years and we have three children (11-20). My wife desires no sex. I pay very close attention to and meet her needs in all other...
    NoTalkJustDo NoTalkJustDo 41-45, M 10 Responses Jul 13

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    So sorry this is happening in your marriage. I as, the wife, am suffering the consequences of a sexless marriage. But I am here over 24 years... it's been going on for at least...
    mwmom mwmom 46-50 17 Responses Jul 4

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    I was in a sexless marriage for 10 years. Then the rat had the nerve to cheat on me with an 18 year old (he was almost 40.) 2 years after our divorce and I'm free to find love...
    Nikki351 Nikki351 31-35, F 6 Responses Jun 28

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    I think the problem with my sexless marriage is not the fact that it's sexless, but the fact that it's a marriage. The wedding of a non-union. What is not united should not be...
    Aeonian Aeonian 51-55, M 24 Responses 2 days ago

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    Almost a month out post divorce. I didn't realize how much you could cram into one month. So overall I would say I am feeling stagnant, however the outside world may see progress...
    Usernametbd Usernametbd 36-40, M 10 Responses Jul 7

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    How long can you be beaten down? How long can you be made to feel unimportant and useless? How long do you have to suffer in a marriage that has no hope? How long do you have to...
    Cmknewyork Cmknewyork 41-45, M 8 Responses Jul 8

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    While this is about a sexless relationship, not a sexless marriage, there is an important lesson in here for those in sexless relationships because your partners claim that you...
    Mettamomma Mettamomma 61-65, F 11 Responses Jul 13

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    What does a normal, happy marriage look like? I've been comparing and contrasting my relationship with my husband vs my relationship with my AP. Husband: Separate rooms for 7...
    Blue2014 Blue2014 41-45, F 12 Responses Jun 26

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    I never thought that I would be in a situation like this. I was raised in a strict Christian family that honed in on the importance of being a "good girl". My 1st marriage ended in...
    BHEwife BHEwife 41-45, F 19 Responses Jun 30

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    My name is Ryan, i love in a sexless marrage. If you havent guessed I'm gay and been arried for ruffly 5 months now and I have had sex just a gathering of 5 times since Feb 28th...
    RY0RY RY0RY 18-21, M 2 Responses Jul 2

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    It's Complicated I'm in a sexless marriage, and it's complicated, probably not unlike a lot of people here. I've been married for 28 years, and the last eight years have been...
    LightAtNight LightAtNight 51-55 8 Responses Jul 3

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    I have lived in what can be called a sexless marriage for over 10 years. My wife lost her libido after our oldest son was born. Then we lost our youngest son to cancer 6 years...
    Carboholic Carboholic 36-40 11 Responses Jul 8

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    What Have You Done? “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” -- Eleanor Roosevelt In sexless marriages...
    SleeplessKnight SleeplessKnight 41-45, M 5 Responses Jul 11

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    The chamber is empty, all the bullets have been fired, and the marriage has breathed it's last! I've got no shortage of dates and fun and friends, I wake up every day smiling, no...
    Gearcynic Gearcynic 31-35, M 11 Responses Jul 17

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    Seeking Therapy I’ve made my first step. I am seeing a therapist. This is not to try and repair my sexless marriage. I have realized that my sex life, the passion, the lust...
    Adam4Eve Adam4Eve 46-50, M 8 Responses 2 days ago

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    I am married but I live in a Sexless Marriage. Most of time I even live alone. I am so sad. I am not young anymore. Worst thing is I still look young and good-looking. I had crush...
    jackieLu jackieLu 41-45, F 6 Responses Jul 5

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    Let me begin by saying how grateful I am for finding this group. I have been in a sexless marriage for 5.5 years now. I have 3 kids (1 from a previous marriageand 2 with my...
    StrongForMyKids StrongForMyKids 31-35, F 7 Responses Jul 6

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    I have been married for over 15 years, have two wonderful children, but I live with the hurt and humiliation of a sexless marriage. In fact, we have NEVER consummated our marriage...
    BucketFiller BucketFiller 41-45, F 28 Responses Jul 13

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    I just want to say thank you to all of you who have shared your experiences with me. Because of you I am not waiting 40 years in a sexless marriage hoping he will change. He's...
    wantingtobehappy84 wantingtobehappy84 22-25, F 5 Responses Jul 16

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    Since finding out about the pmdd things have been steady., and satisfying. My H has noticed me getting attention (such as looks and what not) from other men. It has made him very...
    fantisizer fantisizer 26-30, F 8 Responses Jul 16

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    I am so glad I left my BS marriage! 😃 It feels great to say that I am no longer in a sexless marriage!
    pointbreakgirl pointbreakgirl 36-40, F 19 Responses 1 day ago

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    Steve Maraboli He has some good thoughts that seem to apply (to mine at least) sexless marriages.
    n44wwep n44wwep 51-55, M 2 Responses Jun 26

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    It's a very tempting time. With summer here I feel as if my eyes have just opened to the world. Everywhere there are beautiful women walking and my mind had been wandering and I...
    Lovefetishes Lovefetishes 46-50, M 9 Responses Jun 26

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    Things are moving rapidly now. For years I tried to get him to understand my pain in being denied sex and my needs. I would tell him the thing I would like most in the world from...
    Aubergine7 Aubergine7 36-40, F 8 Responses Jun 28

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    The "official" definition of a "Sexless Marriage" is having sex less than once a month. What kind of frequency do you prefer and and how infrequent does it have to be before you...
    LifeinWoodinville LifeinWoodinville 41-45, M 20 Responses Jun 30

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    I also posted this in the midlife crisis section. Just looking for hope The Best of My Life, Is the Rest of My Life" = my affirmation. I heard this on Joel O'Steen a few weeks...
    deleted deleted 26-30 3 Responses Jul 1

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    I've been in a sexless marriage/relationship for 14 years: all of my 30's and now into my mid-40's. It's a total mind-****. if it weren't for my drive to get pregnant, have kids...
    thruwithblue thruwithblue 41-45, F 11 Responses Jul 2

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    I did live in a sexless marriage. It was and still is the lowest point of my life. And I am glad I finally kicked that ***** out of my life. It took a long time, and nearly all my...
    TheEppy TheEppy 31-35, M 6 Responses Jul 5

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    Day seven of our romantic vacation and still no passion. Well I'm thinking about giving up on this relationship. We ( my wife of 9 years and myself) have had three nights to our...
    HenryMiller04 HenryMiller04 46-50, M 23 Responses Jul 10

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    The most posts I see on this is the sexless marriage . Wow and I thought I was alone. Who knew
    fantasythoughts fantasythoughts 36-40, F 14 Responses Jul 11