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I Used to Cut

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 1,631 People

    Knife Vs. Friends

    Ok so I started cutting last year, in November actually so its not that long ago. Anyways, I started cutting because I was always so furious, so angry with my family, I felt so trapped beneath them and there was nothing I could do about it. I don’t really talk to anyone...
    Vampprincess568 Vampprincess568 16-17 May 29, 2010

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    I'm a swimmer. so it was really hard to find

    areas to cut that would not be visible. i used to cut my fingers and my wrists. i would cover them with bracelets. one day when i was cutting and crying, i asked my self why i was doing this? And truthfully i could not answer that question. I believed i was doing it cause of the...
    punkpanda3 punkpanda3 13-15, F 2 Responses Mar 23

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    I Thought The Blade And I Were Over.

    I hadn't done it in a little over a year, and part of me thought that I had learnt from it, I obviously hadn't. I want to say it was the pressure or the pain or the stress or the sadness that caused me to do it but I know it was plain stupidity. I don't feel better now and I knew...
    AwkwardnessCentral AwkwardnessCentral 16-17, F Aug 4, 2013

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    Because of Him....

    Well, when I graduated the 8th grade I started to date a guy from my class who I really liked. We dated until our Junior year of high school and he was very controling and when ever he hurt me I found a place where no one could disturb me and I would find anything sharp and just...
    Mouse Mouse 19-21, F 4 Responses Oct 23, 2006

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    These Are My Scars

    I used to cut. Am I proud of it? No. But do I hate myself for it? Absolutely not. I have 3 pretty noticeable horizontal scars running parallel to each other on my left arm. They're there, and they will be there every day from now on, but they don't hold me back from anything...
    ojhstudent ojhstudent 18-21 1 Response Mar 27, 2013

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    I used to cut myself

    and this is really hard to admit. I saw it as a flaw and still do, Im afraid of what people will think if I ever showed them.
    DrStrychnine DrStrychnine 16-17, F 1 Response Jan 7

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    Hypocrite

    When I first hurt myself, I was talked down to like a dog by my boyfriend at the time. He told me he wasn't mad but disappointed. Then he stopped caring all together. After we broke up I realized I lost the want to hurt myself. He was making me feel so low that cutting felt like...
    Elizabethstorm Elizabethstorm 16-17, F 1 Response Nov 5, 2013

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    I have stopped cutting,

    I want to very badly to but I can't. If I start agin the one I love with all my heart will start agin, and that can't happen. I would kill myself if I knew that she was hurting herself because of something I'm doing. I have no choice but to stop, I've throw away all my blades. I...
    purgahja purgahja 13-15, M Apr 5

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    but I haven't done it

    or considered it since I was 16. I found out that it didn't really take away the pain and it was too hard to hide. I think there are better ways to deal with pain. Healthy ways. Now I use exercise. I run
    AKimball AKimball 18-21, F 1 Response Mar 20

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    It Just Took One Cut.....

    One cut is all that it took, and I was hooked. I was 11 when I first began to cut. I remember it like it was yesterday.... I have went through so much pain in the past that I guess cutting seem to make all my problems go away. I remember I came home from a rough day at school...
    Ice95 Ice95 18-21, F 2 Responses Feb 27, 2013

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    I Hate To Admit...

    Almost 2 years ago i used to cut.. i still wear some of the scars, almost like a faded memory of my past. I wasn't trying to get attention at all... i used to hide it by wearing a jacket all the time... but nobody knew the story behind it. I hate people that judge they only know...
    MaxWilleatyourbrains MaxWilleatyourbrains 16-17, F 4 Responses May 19, 2012

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    I'm getting to the point

    where I wanna do it again where is the razor Someone talk to me
    princesscaro princesscaro 18-21, F 1 Response Jan 16

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    I did it to deal with my clinical depression

    and anxiety. Although it is still tempting sometimes, I'm proud to say I'm going on 3 months clean :)
    VicLucyCole VicLucyCole 13-15, F 1 Response Apr 12

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    Proud To Say...

    scars are stories, history written on the body... it took me a long time to accept what i had done to myself, to stop covering up but i'm finally okay with people seeing my scars it's still very awkward when i first meet people because they always stare and i'd much rather they...
    trying02 trying02 18-21, F 2 Responses Aug 14, 2013

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    Reason For My Scars

    When I was about nine years old I was raped an molested on an almost daily basis for about a year. The man who did it was my moms 43 year old boyfriend, i felt that no one would believe me so i told absoultly no one for four years wich was the biggest mistake. By the time I was...
    mentalpatient mentalpatient 16-18, F 1 Response Nov 10, 2006

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    I used to cut when I got sad,

    nervous, depressed.. when I couldn't handle my feelings. And now I'm trying to stop cutting. Forget everything. But I don't know how I can handle my feelings, my thoughts.. There are so many things in my head that I can't stop thinking. And it's driving me crazy. I don't know...
    llilith llilith 18-21, F Mar 5

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    I Guess :S

    Well, all last year I cut, a lot. And I stopped, it took a long time, but I did. It was the best thing I could have done for myself. But the other day I was going through a lot. And the person I usually go for for that stuff, well he wasn't helping. I couldn't take it. So I cut...
    123IMissYou321 123IMissYou321 13-15, F 1 Response Nov 11, 2013

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    I started cutting at a very young age.

    9 or 10, i think. I'm 16 now, I stopped cutting over a year ago. Though, I still have my "moments." It got so bad to where my mom would have to hide the knives and the razors, so I would use anything. The cutting, it made the pain stop, In a weird way. I stopped cutting on my...
    Nevershoutkourtnii Nevershoutkourtnii 16-17, F 1 Response Jan 26

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    I Can Finally Say Used To!! :d

    I can finally say USED TO!!! I used to cut. Period. I USED TO! I am so proud to say that it isn't even funny! :D So yes I used to cut. I cut for 2 years. And I finally got up the feeling to stop completely 2 months ago. I'm finally done! I do a special kind of therapy that my...
    xXPsychochic56 xXPsychochic56 18-21, F 10 Responses Jun 2, 2010

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    I'M Finally Ok With People Seeing My Self Injury Scars

    I work at a health clinic as a clinic assistant. While I was getting ready to draw a patient's blood, she said, "I have the same scars that you have on your arm." I stupidly hold out my arm, the only one that has visible scars on it, and look at it like I've never looked at it...
    jenbuff jenbuff 22-25, F 1 Response May 19, 2013

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    DearIniquity DearIniquity 13-15, M 2 Responses Mar 19

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    The First Time I Ever Did(Poetry Form)

    Stress was building up, People hated me so much. Feeling useless and miserable. I thought no one could understand. Even though I had friends, It still felt like I was alone. Nobody talked to me. Friends kept leaving. I was more alone. I wanted to die , To end all suffering. I...
    QueenOfPoetry QueenOfPoetry 16-17, F Nov 11, 2013

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    Getting Out Of A Habbit

    The last time I cut was about 6 months ago. So i shouldn't really say i 'used' to because its still early days. i started at 12, when my mum was drinking heavily everyday and i was being sexually abused. A 'cry for help' was how it started. After continuously doing it for 4 years...
    leannepatpat leannepatpat 16-17, F 1 Response Dec 9, 2012

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    Fighting The Urge

    Every time I pick up a knife images flash through my head, snapshots of me bloodying my arms. I have to pause to regain focus. Scissors cut, scissors can cut flesh as well as they do paper. My blade hides in its safe place, only I know where to find it. About a year "clean" but...
    thereisnothingwrongwithyou thereisnothingwrongwithyou 18-21, F 1 Response Mar 26, 2013

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    It Was Like A Drug...

    I haven't cut in years, I mostly did it from ages 12 to about 15. My parents fought verbally and physically ever since I was born. Mostly my dad physically hurting my mother, saying the most obnoxious things you can imagine. I grew up with that, and when I was old enough I...
    sillyginger sillyginger 22-25, F 4 Responses Jan 25, 2013

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    Self Injury

    I started when i was in high school at the time i didnt really know why i was doing it.  By the time i was in my senior i had stopped.  Then when i was a junior in college i was sexually assulted.  After that i started cutting again and often.   Whenever...
    clancyfan clancyfan 21-25, F 4 Responses Oct 23, 2006

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    About 2 Years!

    It's been about 2 years since I last actually cut myself, since then I had scratched myself and such, but not enough to leave a mark. The only reason I had enough strength to slowly stop is because of my amazing fiancee and our son <3 It's been over 1 year since I have harmed...
    ModifiedMamaofTwo ModifiedMamaofTwo 16-17, F 1 Response Sep 22, 2013

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    I hope you guys won't hate me like the last

    time I've posted. I don't remember the last time I cut, but I remember what it feels like. I remember the pleasure I used to get from it. I remember every single mark healing on my body. But I don't want it back. If anything, I wish to remember it as a dull memory. I don't...
    thewolfnation thewolfnation 13-15, F Jan 3

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    For those who have self harmed

    and stopped, I just wanna say I'm so proud of you, you guys make me stronger when I'm just about ready to relapse and cut or kill myself, your confidence and urge is the reason why I've stopped for good. Sorry if it seems like I'm trying to get attention. (I'm not I promise) I'm...
    Appleslices69 Appleslices69 18-21, M 2 Responses Mar 6

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    I know it might be hard to blieve

    that I would ever do that for myself. Everyone sees me as the awalyse happy one or the up beat type. But I hide all my feeling behind a fake smile. I say im fine when its not awalyse true. I say im all good and just act like I brush the feelings off my sholder. When I am...
    Kiki145 Kiki145 13-15, F Mar 10

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    I guess for those of you

    that have seen me on here enough know my story when it comes to the cutting and self-harm part of my life or my recovery, because I'm always going to be in recovery (my ADHD & Bipolar) and everything that comes with that. You never recovery completely it never goes away, you...
    mlcockrell mlcockrell 36-40, M Mar 10

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    Nobody Understands

    i used to cut about 5 or 6 times a day. It got very bad to where i would brings small razors to school and cut underneath desks. i was at a point to where i didnt even know why i cut, i would cut and then afterwards id look at myself bleed and say"why did i do this?" I...
    str9931 str9931 16-17, F 2 Responses Apr 27, 2008

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    I Don't Now, B...

    I don't now, but years ago I did quite often, it is quite an addictive behavior to quit and one that many people do not understand, so I will explain why and how it worked for me. I used to cut myself when I was extremely upset and very emotional about something that pained my...
    AlwaysRemembers AlwaysRemembers 41-45, F 2 Responses May 16, 2007

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    I used to cut myself to deal with my depression.

    I stopped three months ago when I lost a lot of blood in a cutting accident. I finally told my family about my problem with cutting a few weeks after I stopped. I still think about it frequently. However, I remain confident that I am on the path to recovery.
    musique67 musique67 18-21, M Mar 20

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    I'm throwing my blades

    and glass away today
    kidrawrr kidrawrr 13-15, F 10 Responses Apr 12

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    What do I do .__. I have the temptation to cut

    again . To feel how I felt then . And how I felt then was empty because I felt nothing . Any feeling that I had toward anyone was gone weather it was anger or sadness . I didn't have to take it out on anyone . I could just smile and laugh because the reality was it didn't...
    UndefinedAndUnknown UndefinedAndUnknown 13-15, F 6 Responses Feb 10

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    Dangerous Addiction...

    Once you start there's no stopping it..It's what they say about drugs and alcohol and smoking and cheating and bullying and what not... You'd think they'd warn us about cutting, what with half the world depressed and secretly doing it.. I wish they'd warned me.. I press the blade...
    xSilverWillowx xSilverWillowx 18-21, F 2 Responses Jan 21, 2011

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    I Used To Cut

    when i was 12 my grandpa past away and he was the only person who got me, so when he died i just was there. i was sad and one day i started to cry and i couldn't stop until my craving over came me and i started to scratching myself, very deep. that made me stop crying. then when...
    the1ginger1kid the1ginger1kid 18-21, F 3 Responses May 12, 2011

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    I Dont Get That. ...

    I dont get that. I mean, I can see that people that are suffering do that.... they can"t stand the emotional pain any longer and have to "cut" themselves to" release "it. A horrible form of self abuse. I feel so much empathy for these people. I would be...
    redflower redflower 36-40, F 1 Response May 16, 2007

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    It's A Daily Battle

    About a month ago, I could proudly say that I hadn't cut in a little over a year. Unfortunately, a few weeks ago I messed it all up again. It was just like an impulse this time. I don't understand it. I am so over it... Well, I guess that's a lie. Most nights when I lay in bed...
    TheHazelRose TheHazelRose 13-15, F 1 Response Aug 12, 2013

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    But I stopped. And now I want to.

    Even though I know it won't help anything.
    syntheticlovex syntheticlovex 18-21, F 2 Responses Apr 4

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    Used To

    I think back to a time when I held myself prisoner. I longed for a razor to slice open my skin, that did so much for me at that time. It allowed me to deal with emotions I had not been taught to deal with appropriately. For so long it was all I had and even when I wasn't cutting...
    mljenkins mljenkins 41-45, F Jul 9, 2013

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    Part 3. Lexi. Don't read.

    Okay, so this note is to my gf just in case she doesn't listen. Don't. Read. I'm serious. Anybody else should read part 1 and 2 listed on my profile as "haunted by the memories" So I started to get really really depressed. My dad started to threaten me. It was crazy. One...
    Prodigy457 Prodigy457 13-15, M Jan 6

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    i used to do a lot i still have a bunch of

    those thin pitted marks imbedded on my left arm, everyone says they remember the reason they put every last scar there but honestly i hve trouble remembering, i know that i got laughed at, i know that i stink, i know that im stoner, i thought i was a loser.i still have trouble...
    stargazer203 stargazer203 13-15, M 1 Response Mar 10

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    Hold On To What You Have- Its Long But It Has A Point

    First there was the boy I'd had a crush on for nearly a year. That lasted four weeks before I broke up with him because we were both too young to know how to be in a relationship (young 14). Then there was the second guy, who'd fancied me for almost a year and a half, who I...
    LonelyFirefly LonelyFirefly 16-17, F 1 Response Jan 16, 2013

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    Pain Relief...

    I used to cut. It was my only release from the pain around me, to create another pain, a pain that no one else had caused but me. I was brought up in an abusing home. My dad was always yelling, my mom was always crying and I was always doing some trivial thing that would send...
    Gisbon Gisbon 22-25 1 Response Aug 12, 2010

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    Last Year

    I used to cut myself all of the time, but it never did make me feel any better. Eventually, I didn't want to do that to myself anymore, found a better, healthier habit to do (studying), and quit before I was in the full throes of a problem.
    RedheadedWhippersnapper RedheadedWhippersnapper 13-15, F 1 Response Nov 16, 2013

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    Is There A Gray Area?

    The first time I cut I was thirteen or so. Believe me, I know how cliche this sounds, but it was after my first boyfriend broke up with me. I was angry and it was a way to make all of that anger and pain literal and visible. Eventually, my mom found out about it because I did...
    distractedgirl distractedgirl 16-17, F 1 Response Mar 4, 2013

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    It Used To Feel Like I Had To...

    Its felt amazing and addicting, instead of dealing with emotions and my problem i'd just press that sleek little razor to my skin. It took my boyfriend(now husband) crying looking at my slashes going up my arm to realized that i need to stop and learn to deal with life. I thank...
    aliceXIONU aliceXIONU 18-21, F 1 Response Jan 22, 2011

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    Razor Junkie

    cutting is an addiction for me, i cut for over a year my sophmore year of highschool. then broke my 2 year streak a couple years back. now i'm wanting to again...depressing...
    ifeellikealeech ifeellikealeech 22-25, F 1 Response Nov 16, 2013

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    I've been so close to relapsing,

    but I've become closer to my faith, and The Lord, and I think he has given me strength to make it through. I was pretty much atheist this summer. I had no connection to god, and I think he's come into my life, and helped me.
    emilyaddalung emilyaddalung 13-15, F 1 Response Feb 4

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    Pain

    Pain ruled my world. Pain was all I felt. I wondered why god let me live. I wondered why he sent men to ruin me. Why he let my father molest me. Why he let Joey steal my virginity. I used to take it out on myself. I have the scars to prove it. But, somehow I got back on my feet...
    nareazza nareazza 13-15, F 1 Response Oct 13, 2013

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    Related Experiences

    I have Bipolar disorder and I used to cut and burn myself to cope with my depression and erratic mood swings. I used to carry a cigarette lighter around everywhere and carried and...
    ThatAwkwardGuy ThatAwkwardGuy 16-17, M 1 Response 4 days ago

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    I made my first cut at 14 years old. I used the sharp end of a pin-on button to scratch my stomach until it bled velvety drops of blood. I thought it was harmless- a one time thing...
    Olive15 Olive15 13-15, F 1 Response 3 days ago

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    For you (many, girls), who cut yourselves. Please remember that some of us love you, care about you. ----- Food for thought (an article from Psychology Today) ----- Sax on Sex...
    Karll Karll 56-60, M 1 Response Mar 29

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    I used to cut my left arm only because I was right handed. I did it for quite some time.. I did it because of breakups or complications in a relationship with a guy such as arguing...
    Icantcutanymore Icantcutanymore 18-21, F 1 Response Mar 29

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