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I Used to Cut

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 2,027 People

    I recently got out of cutting.

    .. It was really hard to stop and it took a long time to stop because cutting was the only way to let me pain out and it was the only way that I could control the pain inside... I didn't know what was wrong with me back then...
    BVBlover18 BVBlover18 13-15, F 1 Response Aug 5

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    recently I've been drawn back into thinking

    cutting might be an option again, I've felt so much pain the last couple weeks I don't know what else to do to get relief, I just want to see my pain manifested, I want to look on the outside how I feel on the inside. I don't keep blades around anymore so I am not tempted, I...
    arenaissancewoman arenaissancewoman 31-35, F Nov 3

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    I've actually had more thoughts about doing it

    again, but the cutting only really began a few months ago. At first it'd be on the creases of my fingers, so nobody would know....but then I figured I wanted to see MORE blood. So, as of today, I have like 4 scars on my wrist. Funny thing is? It wasn't as what the movies depict...
    MyNameMeansLight MyNameMeansLight 16-17, F Jun 10

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    I'm throwing my blades

    and glass away today
    yeahohwell yeahohwell 13-15, F 8 Responses Apr 12

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    I used to cut just over a year ago

    but then I injured myself really badly. I now walk with a permanent limp because I cut too deep and tore a muscle and they couldn't fix it. If you've ever watched "House" then you probably can understand how I walk.
    PanicAtTheBlink PanicAtTheBlink 16-17, M 1 Response Jul 2

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    Yes people u see open your ear

    and just listen to me I told you but you didn't listen to me all you did was just cry didn't find help form me but had to do it my out my Owen way I don't get you at time when you said you wanted some thing form me so sit the **** down before you leave me out in my Owen I will...
    lovemariefrance lovemariefrance 13-15, F 5 Responses Aug 2

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    And if I bleed, I'll bleed.

    Knowing you don't care.
    Brookedrumm Brookedrumm 16-17, F Nov 3

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    There are times, like right now,

    where I'd give anything to cut. When my anxiety is so bad. And I can't shake the feeling that everyone hates me and I'm a worthless piece of sh!t. I'd love just one cut. Slow and deep with a serrated blade, like old times. And then cut until I just disappear. Until I stop...
    AlleywayGospel AlleywayGospel 26-30, F 2 Responses Jul 1

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    It started when I was 15,

    after I was raped. Carried on throughout high school, throughout college. I actually lost track of the last time I cut, but I know if I keep it up for the next 5 months, I'll have made it to a year. A year without cutting after cutting for 8 years straight. Omg, I hope I can...
    n0nexisting n0nexisting 22-25, F 3 Responses Oct 2

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    I use to cut, not much anymore i still do here

    and there, but i found a way to kind of beat it. Distractions! It helps but it only pauses for a bit. Smoking helps but i dont recommend it
    tonygoesrawrr tonygoesrawrr 18-21, M Sep 2

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    It's been over 6 months

    since I cut all thanks to skye house hospital though I hated every minute there it got me better and I made the greatest of friends!:)
    ICanBeStrong ICanBeStrong 16-17, F Jul 28

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    It is true. It is a cowardly way to deal with

    your problems. And now I have to live with the scars, and try to keep them covered at all times to avoid embarrassing question. Anytime someone would ask me, I would blame a cat or a dog, or something stupid.
    SilentShadows SilentShadows 16-17, F 2 Responses Oct 9

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    I have severe clinical depression

    and I have trouble dealing with other people's disappointment in me, when I'm already disappointed in myself and hate everything that I am. I mostly used to cut when I disappointed or made my mom mad, she screams at me and I feel like I should punish myself for whatever it was...
    Stephiternal Stephiternal 16-17, F 1 Response Nov 24

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    For almost 20 years. Recently stopped.

    It's a constant struggle but I'm staying strong :)
    AlleywayGospel AlleywayGospel 26-30, F 2 Responses Jun 10

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    I know it might be hard to blieve

    that I would ever do that for myself. Everyone sees me as the awalyse happy one or the up beat type. But I hide all my feeling behind a fake smile. I say im fine when its not awalyse true. I say im all good and just act like I brush the feelings off my sholder. When I am...
    Kiki145 Kiki145 13-15, F 2 Responses Mar 10

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    So I feel like I am foolish,

    because when I first cut into my skin it was out rage after what my little brother said, about my Keratosis Pilaris which is a skin condition that causes goose bumps that remain on skin till the age of 30. It was a foolish thing to cut over but after the first time I cut when...
    Porcelian Porcelian 18-21, F 1 Response Nov 6

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    I had a girlfriend in high school

    that i found out did it and I adopted it to see what it was like as a way to understand where she was coming from and I eventually came up with my own reasons for doing it, after a few months and a trusted mentor finding out about it and advising me to stop, I took her advice...
    graywolf558 graywolf558 26-30, M Sep 1

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    I've only ever cut myself a few times

    but when I did it wasn't with a knife. It was with a sharp but dull object so I made sure it would hurt me much more. I want to do it all the time but I haven't in a really long time
    xxalicerosexx xxalicerosexx 16-17, F Sep 25

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    I used to cut on a regular basis just

    as a release due to major body issues and depression and then I was put on medicine for depression and even got a tattoo on my wrist to avoid cutting. lately I've been really feeling the itch to start up again for no apparent reason.
    thinkingflawless thinkingflawless 18-21, F Dec 13

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    I did it to deal with my clinical depression

    and anxiety. Although it is still tempting sometimes, I'm proud to say I'm going on 3 months clean :)
    VicLucyCole VicLucyCole 16-17, F 1 Response Apr 12

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    I used to cut because on the inside I felt

    apathetic and I felt numb to everything. I thought that cutting would make it better, and for a time it did. But I have gradually stopped and I am glad to say in the past 2 months I have not cut.
    GrumpyNumnums GrumpyNumnums 18-21, F Nov 2

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    Finally the marks are fading.

    ..trying not to recut them into my skin is hard but I'm fighting it so happy I've made it this far
    Il0veandre Il0veandre 13-15, T 1 Response Sep 21

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    These Are My Scars

    I used to cut. Am I proud of it? No. But do I hate myself for it? Absolutely not. I have 3 pretty noticeable horizontal scars running parallel to each other on my left arm. They're there, and they will be there every day from now on, but they don't hold me back from anything...
    ojhstudent ojhstudent 18-21 1 Response Mar 27, 2013

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    I Can Finally Say Used To!! :d

    I can finally say USED TO!!! I used to cut. Period. I USED TO! I am so proud to say that it isn't even funny! :D So yes I used to cut. I cut for 2 years. And I finally got up the feeling to stop completely 2 months ago. I'm finally done! I do a special kind of therapy that my...
    xXPsychochic56 xXPsychochic56 18-21, F 10 Responses Jun 2, 2010

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    For those who have self harmed

    and stopped, I just wanna say I'm so proud of you, you guys make me stronger when I'm just about ready to relapse and cut or kill myself, your confidence and urge is the reason why I've stopped for good. Sorry if it seems like I'm trying to get attention. (I'm not I promise) I'm...
    Appleslices69 Appleslices69 18-21, M 2 Responses Mar 6

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    Reason For My Scars

    When I was about nine years old I was raped an molested on an almost daily basis for about a year. The man who did it was my moms 43 year old boyfriend, i felt that no one would believe me so i told absoultly no one for four years wich was the biggest mistake. By the time I was...
    mentalpatient mentalpatient 16-18, F 1 Response Nov 10, 2006

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    I'm a swimmer. so it was really hard to find

    areas to cut that would not be visible. i used to cut my fingers and my wrists. i would cover them with bracelets. one day when i was cutting and crying, i asked my self why i was doing this? And truthfully i could not answer that question. I believed i was doing it cause of the...
    punkpanda3 punkpanda3 16-17, F 2 Responses Mar 23

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    Well...I used to cut with my unscrewed pencil

    sharpener. I would cut my thighs and scrape the words softly "cut the fat" , my parents believe that I over-eat and eat all of the food in the refrigerator. It wasn't true. My mom and dad blames me constantly for eating everything in the house. I was angry and depressed over...
    genesisramos13 genesisramos13 13-15, F 1 Response Aug 2

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    It Just Took One Cut.....

    One cut is all that it took, and I was hooked. I was 11 when I first began to cut. I remember it like it was yesterday.... I have went through so much pain in the past that I guess cutting seem to make all my problems go away. I remember I came home from a rough day at school...
    Ice95 Ice95 18-21, F 2 Responses Feb 27, 2013

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    I use to cut my self to try an get my mum to

    notice me. It never worked I even got to the point were I was cutting my arms in front of her, she never once tried to stop me, I even got to the point where I was so wanted to no who I was I cut my self in front of her to get answers, it did not work she would not tell me, an...
    10hayleigh85 10hayleigh85 26-30, F 1 Response Oct 14

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    It's officially been 2 clean months

    for me💕 For anyone struggling with cutting you are always welcome to talk to me💕 keep fighting loves😘
    Waterstorm Waterstorm 13-15, F 4 Responses Sep 30

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    distractedcharms distractedcharms 13-15, F 2 Responses Nov 7

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    It Was Like A Drug...

    I haven't cut in years, I mostly did it from ages 12 to about 15. My parents fought verbally and physically ever since I was born. Mostly my dad physically hurting my mother, saying the most obnoxious things you can imagine. I grew up with that, and when I was old enough I...
    sillyginger sillyginger 22-25, F 4 Responses Jan 25, 2013

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    This past year has been the most difficult year

    of my life. And it all came from problems that weren't even mine. I fell in love with a girl whom had major problems. She has depression and was sexually abused by her own father. I got dragged into all her issues and became depressed for some time. I had mixed feelings about...
    mytroubledboo mytroubledboo 18-21, M May 25

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    I'M Finally Ok With People Seeing My Self Injury Scars

    I work at a health clinic as a clinic assistant. While I was getting ready to draw a patient's blood, she said, "I have the same scars that you have on your arm." I stupidly hold out my arm, the only one that has visible scars on it, and look at it like I've never looked at it...
    jenbuff jenbuff 22-25, F 1 Response May 19, 2013

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    I use to cut deep down a line of red blood

    dripping out but mommy and daddy didn't give a crap about me all they did was cry but didn't tell any one for the help I need. Yes you can say I give up after that because there was no hope for me but didn't use the small knife you see because there was no hope of cutting if...
    lovemariefrance lovemariefrance 13-15, F 2 Responses Aug 5

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    I was depressed because people made fun of me

    because I had big boobs. Now I think it's a blessing that I'm not flat chested.
    franchesca19112 franchesca19112 16-17, F 2 Responses Aug 2

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    I'm officially one year clean today

    and couldn't be happier :) I do still get urges to cut but I call a friend to distract me which helps a lot c:
    aurorad19 aurorad19 16-17, F 5 Responses Jul 2

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    SilentShadows SilentShadows 16-17, F 5 Responses Nov 11

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    Yes....as a teenager/twenty-something I used to

    cut. It was a long time ago and the urge has loooong passed.
    Anch0rMan Anch0rMan 41-45, M 1 Response Oct 25

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    So the topic says it all.

    I'm thinking of starting again because my life was recently uprooted and now all the people I love are thousands of miles away from me... Because my parents have split up and she thought it would be a great idea to move close to her boyfriend... I miss everyone so much already...
    racingpride8 racingpride8 16-17, F 1 Response Nov 7

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    I Hate To Admit...

    Almost 2 years ago i used to cut.. i still wear some of the scars, almost like a faded memory of my past. I wasn't trying to get attention at all... i used to hide it by wearing a jacket all the time... but nobody knew the story behind it. I hate people that judge they only know...
    MaxWilleatyourbrains MaxWilleatyourbrains 16-17, F 4 Responses May 19, 2012

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    So I've been clean two mounth

    and I've been doing good but it all coming back and well I think tonight going to be the end of that time period. I'm crying and hurt and just tried it's the only I can get the pain to go away.
    Justbeingme14 Justbeingme14 13-15, F Aug 11

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    Because of Him....

    Well, when I graduated the 8th grade I started to date a guy from my class who I really liked. We dated until our Junior year of high school and he was very controling and when ever he hurt me I found a place where no one could disturb me and I would find anything sharp and just...
    Mouse Mouse 19-21, F 4 Responses Oct 23, 2006

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    No i have never done this

    and i won't do it :) iam writting this is because guys please try n understand that self harming and hurting yourself won't releif the pressure of tension and things you worry about try and sort things rather than cutting yourself and self harming :) stay strong guys and girls...
    ronnyCool ronnyCool 18-21, M May 21

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    for the longest time,

    i tried and wanted to be bulimic and/or anorexic. I don't know why i wanted it, but I did. It doesn't make me messed up, but it does make me horribly confused on my priorities. I don't wish to be anymore, but I do wish to be more motivated to get out there and exercise. I used...
    eddyskittles eddyskittles 18-21, F 1 Response May 24

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    Knife Vs. Friends

    Ok so I started cutting last year, in November actually so its not that long ago. Anyways, I started cutting because I was always so furious, so angry with my family, I felt so trapped beneath them and there was nothing I could do about it. I don’t really talk to anyone...
    Vampprincess568 Vampprincess568 16-17 May 29, 2010

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    I suffer from major depressive disorder

    and for a long time I used to cut, until one day I met a girl who had been through the same thing and something made me realise that this wasn't the best way out, I stopped and I did my best to help her, neither of us did it regularly for a few years but there were times when I...
    con131140 con131140 13-15, M Sep 12

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    Been clean two years,

    most people don't get why i was a cutter,i mean they don't know what it felt like to be abused emotionally and physically.they don't understand that i wanted to get over the pain that my "family" inflicted by hurting myself,it was a strange way to look at things back then, i...
    jesikahluv jesikahluv 18-21, F Aug 11

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    It's been 2 1/2 months

    but every time I think about it, my scars will hurt. Does this happen to others? Why does it happen?
    Waterstorm Waterstorm 13-15, F 1 Response Oct 16

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    I started when I was 12,

    and kept it up until I was 20. I didn't do it again until I was 23, and it didn't last very long. Now here I am, feeling the powerful urge to do it again. I hate thinking and feeling like this again. But I'm afraid that my boyfriend would see the fresh ones, and he would feel...
    iamrae22 iamrae22 22-25, F 3 Responses Aug 14

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