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I Used to Self Harm

Pretty self-explanatory - a group for those who no longer self harm and wish to share their experiences 4,140 People

    So yeah, this is a part of my life I rarely

    talk about. But hey, this is EP, so what the hell. I started cutting myself way back when I was about 11 or so. Way back before it was a "trend". I did other things to harm myself too, but cutting was my thing. Something about seeing it made me feel "alive", like I had...
    aaaagggghhhh aaaagggghhhh 36-40, F 1 Response Feb 8

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    relapse isn't good .

    and I hate it . I went from wrist to thighs in a month and now I'm starting to cry
    shawny97 shawny97 16-17, M 1 Response Dec 13

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    I had done it from the time I was around 12

    until I was 18. It would go through cycles on its own. Needing to hurt myself to stop feeling, to feel something, to stop thinking, to punish myself varying in severity. Then I just wouldn't feel a need to, other times I would try hard not to. Then slowly I grew out of it, maybe...
    wistfulVacancy wistfulVacancy 18-21, F 1 Response Dec 17

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    Tsukimi Tsukimi 31-35, F 3 Responses Dec 9, 2013

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    I remember when I first did it,

    I did it because I lost my grandad, but now I realise that is not what he would want for me and as its becoming close to the new year, I'm changing. I try to help as many people as I can to stop them from hurting themselves, I understand its frustrating when people say "stop it...
    xPurpleDaisy xPurpleDaisy 13-15, F 2 days ago

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    unidentiffied unidentiffied 16-17, F 1 Response May 2

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    I haven't self harmed in a long time

    but sometimes I get the urge and I don't know why.
    Itwasbeautiful Itwasbeautiful 18-21, F 3 Responses Nov 18

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    For many years I've used self destructive

    behavior to cope with daily life.
    azigzaggylyss azigzaggylyss 18-21, F Dec 19, 2013

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    600 Days Cut Free.

    At the age of 16, I began to self harm. This was about 6 months after I started feeling suicidal. I continued cutting for a little over a year, and tried to give up many times. My parents kicked up a big stink, and there were a lot of problems. However, October 18th 2005 was the...
    kiltedmonkey kiltedmonkey 16-18, F 9 Responses Jun 18, 2007

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    I wish I could promise myself

    that I won't do it again. But we always tell the best and most convincing lies to ourselves. Simply cutting was unsatisfactory for the depth of my aches, brutal body contact , such as head bashing, purposely falling, gouging and ripping flesh with semi sharp objects ( see about...
    SShawnO SShawnO 41-45, M 1 Response Nov 15

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    I'm scared I'm going to relapse

    but it's the only thing that will make me feel better
    kristinaloo kristinaloo 18-21, F 7 Responses Apr 1

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    I'm going to be 6 months clean on the 20th of

    December, but I don't know if I'll last that long. I've been feeling very, very triggered lately and I don't know what to do. I'm trying so hard to stay strong but it's really difficult. There is a girl in my class who has self harm scars and every time I see them I feel really...
    nowimawarrior nowimawarrior 13-15, F 3 Responses Dec 1

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    Every Scar I Have Makes Me Who Iam :)

    So I am 21 years old and finally I think it's time for me to share my story and hopefully I can help you young ones to seek help.... The word seek help can be very scary because you don't want to tell people as you feel judge and maybe the person will tell people that you don't...
    whatdoesntkillumakesustronger whatdoesntkillumakesustronger 22-25, F 1 Response May 8, 2013

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    I just want to let all the people

    who say self harming is "dumb" and "pointless", know that they are very ignorant about the situation and they should just shut up. I used to self harm. I didn't do it for attention. I did it for release. If things fort way too overwhelming, I cut. That was my way of coping. So...
    Roadtorecovery31997 Roadtorecovery31997 16-17, F 1 Response Dec 3

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    You know why people cut?

    Because it's a distraction. For one moment you don't feel all the pain, the loss, the hurt. All you feel is that razor going into your skin. The blood dripping down your arm, leg, stomach. You don't think about the way people talk about how you feel about yourself and about how...
    EmberWazowski EmberWazowski 18-21, F 7 Responses Jun 3

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    I don't belong in this group

    as I haven't completely given it up, but I have cut less than usual lately. Praying this is the start of recovery and that I can stay clean this time.
    Theycallherelly Theycallherelly 13-15, F 2 Responses Nov 18

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    Self harm was a bad place in my life one was

    plain intoxicating thinking bout it now makes my arms tingle. I started when i was 16 it was around my birthday in June followed through 6 month to 8 months. What sparked my self harm was what i could only describe as emotional abuse with my mother, this woman would play with my...
    JustCallMeDre JustCallMeDre 16-17, M 2 days ago

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    im finally starting to accept myself

    for who i am scars and all.... Yet i must admit , I hate to see my scars in the mirror they bring up a lot of terrible memories.
    JustKeepSwimmingg JustKeepSwimmingg 13-15, F 2 Responses Nov 16

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    If you're reading this

    and you self harm .. Just know you're put here for a reason . I've been thru some bad stuff (haven't we all?) and I used to struggle with self harm . Looking back on it now I regret it so much !!! Please don't put yourself thru that because you're beautiful . And everything is...
    noell123 noell123 16-17, F 1 Response May 24

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    it's been a little over a week

    and my friend wants me to stop but it's just too hard..
    cloudslmao cloudslmao 13-15, F 1 Response Nov 15

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    I'm two months clean of self harm.

    . Yet I've always wanted to find a guy who does/ is recovering from self harm.. So we can help each other and get stronger together..
    xxshishixx xxshishixx 18-21, F 2 Responses Oct 20

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    My scars are so ugly

    and huge. They cover the tops of my thighs and they make my legs look so horrid. I regret every single one of them.
    Roadtorecovery31997 Roadtorecovery31997 16-17, F 1 Response Dec 15

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    it's been about six months

    since I've last self harmed now. the last few days I've come close to ruining that many times....
    crazycat012 crazycat012 18-21, T Nov 30

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    kittykittyoxc kittykittyoxc 18-21, F Nov 23

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    Self Harm: The Sad Truth

    alot of people dont understand it, most choose not to. but believe it or not, 1 in 10 of us do/have/will self harm, and thats the sad truth. The majority of people who self harm are young girls aged 13-17. Most of them suffer in silence. I am one of them, when we feel scared...
    deleted deleted 26-30 8 Responses Oct 29, 2012

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    Yes for a good 2 years (2011-2012),

    Cutting, Splitting my knuckles and knees and well the obvious beating myself down with banter, I've done it and I regret it( The only thing I regret), So now turning 22 next week I'm happy that i have overcome a Disease that a majority of people call a disorder, 2 years of...
    Arizv11 Arizv11 22-25, M 1 Response Nov 19

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    Ok so this topic is kind of upsetting

    but I feel like a need to talk about it. When I was younger I used to self harm. The reason was I was being terribly bullied. I never fit into school. I was the geeky, unpopular guy that was made fun of and laughed at. I could live with that. It was just teasing. But as I got...
    crazyguy101 crazyguy101 18-21, M 3 Responses Jan 6

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    MatildaBlack MatildaBlack 13-15, F 7 Responses Nov 16

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    today I got called a bad mum,

    it all started when I took my 2 babies ( they aren't really babies they are 2 and 3) swimming and obviously I wroe a swimsuit and my legs and scars were on show and so I got into the children's pool and this elderly woman walked up to me and said "Why would you have those...
    leahlovesyou leahlovesyou 18-21, F 2 Responses Dec 3

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    Cutting is one of the most misunderstood human

    behaviors. And like any addiction, cutting is an extremely difficult thing to stop. We can become addicted to the chemicals that our own body produces in response to certain things with the same veracity that we become addicted to a street drug. And as soon as we associate the...
    findmeholdmeloveme findmeholdmeloveme 18-21 3 Responses Sep 16

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    I've recently found a way to cope by writing

    small poems in my notes section on my phone. I'm not kidding I have at least 50 poems on my phone dating from six months ago that have been written when I want to abuse myself in any way. Whenever I type (or write) something out, I feel like I'm speaking to someone that won't...
    katherinejaneee katherinejaneee 16-17, F Oct 18

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    My Story

    I sort of wanted to put this story on here somewhere, as a reminder of the person I was and the horrible things I did ._. My story never began with a bad family because I had the most amazing family, but they never knew the sadness I felt. It started when I was 12 years old and...
    The2ndLaw The2ndLaw 18-21, F 4 Responses Apr 28, 2013

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    I self harmed for almost 5 years straight,

    yeah I'm scarred up. But I met this person and they helped me and I've been 3 weeks clean, trying hard not to give in. But the struggle is increasing. The person who has helped me always ones me up with her other friend, ALWAYS. It hurts and I've told her. But all she thinks is...
    xxDarkLoverxx xxDarkLoverxx 13-15, F Dec 11

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    it's been 9 years and due to recent events

    that urge is back. So much has been happening that I couldn't even begin to explain but the urge is what is upsetting me. I've haven't thought about cutting in so long and lately I'm just not myself. I need to find me again.. I feel so lost :/
    SaraBear87 SaraBear87 26-30, F 2 Responses Oct 28

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    I started cutting cause of how my mother treated

    and made me feel and I also got bullied at school and didnt feel like anyone gave a **** about me except my best friend and I still feel that way but I am doing better now thst I was able to get away from my mother..
    kanashimi93 kanashimi93 13-15, F Nov 9

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    my advice to everyone- the best thing you can do

    for yourself is never start. I'm 14 and i struggled with self harm for a year, i'll admit i loved it. the blood running down my legs, the sting of the peroxide when i cleaned them the bubbling the blade between my fingers, all of it. i had been clean for 2 months when i cracked...
    SamTornado SamTornado 13-15, F 1 Response Apr 1

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    "Your arm." My father noticed over dinner.

    "What happened?" I was about 12 and had had a rough day so I sort of took the thumbtack holding a poster on my bedroom and stabbed my right arm(I'm left handed) as well as dragging cuts into my arm. Now I kept that arm in my lap and pretended it didn't ache. I also pretended not...
    sagate sagate 22-25, F 1 Response Jun 16

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    I used to self harm, sometimes I still have

    urges. It's not something to joke about, it's a serious thing. If anyone self harms just know, that I love you, and you are a strong person.
    evansmarieanna evansmarieanna 18-21, F 2 Responses Dec 21, 2013

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    It's Only A Matter Of Time.

    I have the urge to cut again. It's almost been two years since I last cut. I just recently threw away all my razors too. But..things have been hard lately. I've been thinking about it a lot and I feel like I need to. My promises to myself and my others are the only thing...
    Thewastedyouth16 Thewastedyouth16 16-17, F 1 Response Nov 13, 2012

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    She was never in the form of perfection,

    So she became the best example of neglection //SharpieTattooSwag//
    WhatOnceWas WhatOnceWas 16-17, F May 19

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    Hi I'm new here. This is a pretty personal post

    as a first story, but I feel like I can just let it all out on a community whom I am a stranger to. Basically, I used to self harm. It wasn't like one of those things where you do it for attention, or do it for fun. I needed it. I was depressed. I felt like my world had turned...
    DieWithYourMaskOn DieWithYourMaskOn 13-15 3 Responses Sep 8

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    I still have my scars,

    and I get tempted every once in a while, but I'm about a month clean and I don't plan to ever return to my old habits. seeing the marks on my wrist just reminded me how sad I was and I don't need that kind of negativity in my life. I hope that everyone who cuts finds an...
    Kensie13 Kensie13 16-17, F 1 Response Aug 24

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    Here's to the boys. The ones

    who self harm, the ones who have eating disorders, the ones who suffer from depression, anxiety. Your perfect prince or princess will come along soon. Boys suffer too, why does everyone forget that?
    JamieLongfield JamieLongfield 13-15, F 2 Responses May 30

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    When I was 15, I started cutting myself.

    After a few months, I confided in my boyfriend at the time and promised him I wouldn't do it again. It was difficult, but I managed to do it, and even after having broken up I still honour that promise I made him. It's been almost six years now since I last cut myself and...
    shadowgirl4 shadowgirl4 18-21, F 1 Response Nov 27

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    You know the feeling

    when you haven't cut in so long that it's scary to think that you ever did... Then there's the feeling when you haven't in a long time and you're sitting there, old blade in hand, shaking and having the urge to cut, deep. God help me I haven't cut since my last suicide attempt...
    ttn159 ttn159 16-17, F 3 Responses Oct 26

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    It's been over 4 years

    since the last time I cut myself. It was an addiction that I was only able to stop because I knew it hurt the man I love, and that hurt me more than anything that ever made me want to cut. But addiction is strong. Four years later, even looking at the scars from a suicide...
    Leannaix Leannaix 18-21, F 1 Response Oct 28

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    Earlier today I went to a store

    and I was wearing a tee shirt. I just started wearing tee shirts about two weeks ago but I always used to wear long sleeve shirts or sweaters because of my cuts on my arms. Today was the first time in years that I wore shorts. I always used to wear long pants because of my cuts...
    cristina44 cristina44 22-25, F 2 Responses May 24

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    I'm not proud of it. I started self harming

    when I was 14 years old. I didn't hurt myself, and it wasn't very often. It started getting really bad while I was 15, my parents had a divorce, I lost my best friend to cancer & I was going through a rough time at school. The only way I knew how to deal with it was to turn back...
    CemoneDC CemoneDC 18-21, F 4 Responses Aug 26

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    I am one year without relapse today!

    I almost didn't even notice it till just now. This is so exciting for me. I managed to change my whole life around, around from the anxiety & depression. I haven't picked up a blade in so long.. It makes me so proud to look down at my faded thigh marks. I just have a few more...
    jaasmine jaasmine 16-17, F 6 Responses Jul 13

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    I've been looking at my scars tonight

    and for the first time in my life; I've realized that I hate them. I used to cut as a way of releasing mental pressure that built up within me; watching my own blood flow made me feel calm... I knew I was still feeling when my body and mind would go numb... Now when I see my...
    Kattastrophe Kattastrophe 18-21, F 1 Response Dec 15

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    Being Free Since 2006...

    There was a stage in my life where i used to self mutilate. It started in my teens, I had a lot of anger. I was living with my father who was abusive and controlling. He was very emotionally abusive. He would call me stupid, say i had no common sense. I remember getting into...
    mixieloca mixieloca 31-35, F 2 Responses Sep 5, 2013

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