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I Used to Self Harm

Pretty self-explanatory - a group for those who no longer self harm and wish to share their experiences 4,173 People

    I self harmed for about 4 years.

    I haven't cut in a year. I'm actually very proud of myself for that. But there are times i think about, when i have wondering thoughts. or when I get depressed I think about self harming again. I haven't exactly figured out whats been able to keep me from doing it for so long...
    AfraidOfMyOwnMind AfraidOfMyOwnMind 16-17, F 1 Response Jan 20

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    ForeverKittenn ForeverKittenn 13-15, F 3 Responses Oct 2, 2014

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    My Story

    I sort of wanted to put this story on here somewhere, as a reminder of the person I was and the horrible things I did ._. My story never began with a bad family because I had the most amazing family, but they never knew the sadness I felt. It started when I was 12 years old and...
    The2ndLaw The2ndLaw 18-21, F 3 Responses Apr 28, 2013

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    I'm going to be 6 months clean on the 20th of

    December, but I don't know if I'll last that long. I've been feeling very, very triggered lately and I don't know what to do. I'm trying so hard to stay strong but it's really difficult. There is a girl in my class who has self harm scars and every time I see them I feel really...
    nowimawarrior nowimawarrior 13-15, F 3 Responses Dec 1, 2014

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    I've been looking at my scars tonight

    and for the first time in my life; I've realized that I hate them. I used to cut as a way of releasing mental pressure that built up within me; watching my own blood flow made me feel calm... I knew I was still feeling when my body and mind would go numb... Now when I see my...
    Kattastrophe Kattastrophe 18-21, F 1 Response Dec 15, 2014

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    Earlier today I went to a store

    and I was wearing a tee shirt. I just started wearing tee shirts about two weeks ago but I always used to wear long sleeve shirts or sweaters because of my cuts on my arms. Today was the first time in years that I wore shorts. I always used to wear long pants because of my cuts...
    cristina44 cristina44 22-25, F 2 Responses May 24, 2014

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    I'm scared I'm going to relapse

    but it's the only thing that will make me feel better
    kristinaloo kristinaloo 18-21, F 7 Responses Apr 1, 2014

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    today my son saw the horrific scars on my legs

    and put his hand on my leg and said "its ok mummy" I looked up at him and he just smiled his little 3 year old smile and then said "i love you mummy" and those 6 words just made my day, I've not self harmed in 4 years, but yes sometimes I feel really low and look at a blade or a...
    leahlovesyou leahlovesyou 22-25, F Jan 4

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    I had done it from the time I was around 12

    until I was 18. It would go through cycles on its own. Needing to hurt myself to stop feeling, to feel something, to stop thinking, to punish myself varying in severity. Then I just wouldn't feel a need to, other times I would try hard not to. Then slowly I grew out of it, maybe...
    wistfulVacancy wistfulVacancy 18-21, F 1 Response Dec 17, 2014

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    600 Days Cut Free.

    At the age of 16, I began to self harm. This was about 6 months after I started feeling suicidal. I continued cutting for a little over a year, and tried to give up many times. My parents kicked up a big stink, and there were a lot of problems. However, October 18th 2005 was the...
    kiltedmonkey kiltedmonkey 16-18, F 9 Responses Jun 18, 2007

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    I just want to let all the people

    who say self harming is "dumb" and "pointless", know that they are very ignorant about the situation and they should just shut up. I used to self harm. I didn't do it for attention. I did it for release. If things fort way too overwhelming, I cut. That was my way of coping. So...
    Roadtorecovery31997 Roadtorecovery31997 16-17, F 1 Response Dec 3, 2014

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    When I was 15, I started cutting myself.

    After a few months, I confided in my boyfriend at the time and promised him I wouldn't do it again. It was difficult, but I managed to do it, and even after having broken up I still honour that promise I made him. It's been almost six years now since I last cut myself and...
    shadowgirl4 shadowgirl4 18-21, F 1 Response Nov 27, 2014

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    I used to. Sometimes I still want to.

    . But I can't. I've tried many times to kill myself but thankfully no success. My 2 little sisters self harm as well. (They're 12&13!!) I'm going to get 3 butterflies on my wrist. Like these except the biggest will be red (for me since I'm the oldest of the 3) The butterfly...
    Gabrielaaaa99 Gabrielaaaa99 13-15, F Jan 16

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    I am one year without relapse today!

    I almost didn't even notice it till just now. This is so exciting for me. I managed to change my whole life around, around from the anxiety & depression. I haven't picked up a blade in so long.. It makes me so proud to look down at my faded thigh marks. I just have a few more...
    jaasmine jaasmine 16-17, F 6 Responses Jul 13, 2014

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    I still have my scars,

    and I get tempted every once in a while, but I'm about a month clean and I don't plan to ever return to my old habits. seeing the marks on my wrist just reminded me how sad I was and I don't need that kind of negativity in my life. I hope that everyone who cuts finds an...
    Kensie13 Kensie13 16-17, F 1 Response Aug 24, 2014

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    my thoughts destroy me more

    than any blade/razor ever could..
    SweeterThanFiction SweeterThanFiction 16-17, F Jan 8

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    For many years I've used self destructive

    behavior to cope with daily life.
    azigzaggylyss azigzaggylyss 18-21, F Dec 19, 2013

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    my advice to everyone- the best thing you can do

    for yourself is never start. I'm 14 and i struggled with self harm for a year, i'll admit i loved it. the blood running down my legs, the sting of the peroxide when i cleaned them the bubbling the blade between my fingers, all of it. i had been clean for 2 months when i cracked...
    SamTornado SamTornado 13-15, F 1 Response Apr 1, 2014

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    today I got called a bad mum,

    it all started when I took my 2 babies ( they aren't really babies they are 2 and 3) swimming and obviously I wroe a swimsuit and my legs and scars were on show and so I got into the children's pool and this elderly woman walked up to me and said "Why would you have those...
    leahlovesyou leahlovesyou 22-25, F 2 Responses Dec 3, 2014

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    1:30am in the morning,

    here I am sat in a dark, silent house reflecting on my past, my regrets, my guilt and the ‘what I would have done differently’ scenarios. However, perhaps I should look past the negativity of my previous years, in a way I have battled a long and exhausting fight and managed...
    deathfromabove1066 deathfromabove1066 22-25, F Jan 18

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    Self harm was a bad place in my life one was

    plain intoxicating thinking bout it now makes my arms tingle. I started when i was 16 it was around my birthday in June followed through 6 month to 8 months. What sparked my self harm was what i could only describe as emotional abuse with my mother, this woman would play with my...
    JustCallMeDre JustCallMeDre 16-17, M Dec 23, 2014

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    Self Harm: The Sad Truth

    alot of people dont understand it, most choose not to. but believe it or not, 1 in 10 of us do/have/will self harm, and thats the sad truth. The majority of people who self harm are young girls aged 13-17. Most of them suffer in silence. I am one of them, when we feel scared...
    deleted deleted 26-30 8 Responses Oct 29, 2012

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    If you're reading this

    and you self harm .. Just know you're put here for a reason . I've been thru some bad stuff (haven't we all?) and I used to struggle with self harm . Looking back on it now I regret it so much !!! Please don't put yourself thru that because you're beautiful . And everything is...
    noell123 noell123 16-17, F 1 Response May 24, 2014

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    i'm happy to say that its been a month

    since i've cut myself. i'm proud of my self for stopping, and i'm happy that i have some incredible friends who care about me :)
    shawny97 shawny97 16-17, M 3 Responses Feb 9, 2014

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    Ok so this topic is kind of upsetting

    but I feel like a need to talk about it. When I was younger I used to self harm. The reason was I was being terribly bullied. I never fit into school. I was the geeky, unpopular guy that was made fun of and laughed at. I could live with that. It was just teasing. But as I got...
    crazyguy101 crazyguy101 18-21, M 3 Responses Jan 6, 2014

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    My body was once used

    as a canvas to paint my pain away. Now my skin is nothing but a fragile scar that will forever be a reminder of how broken I once was. It's not something I look proudly at, I look at it with disappointment because I now know what type of darkness lays beneath my beating heart...
    hayleecharms hayleecharms 13-15, F 1 day ago

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    I remember when I first did it,

    I did it because I lost my grandad, but now I realise that is not what he would want for me and as its becoming close to the new year, I'm changing. I try to help as many people as I can to stop them from hurting themselves, I understand its frustrating when people say "stop it...
    xPurpleDaisy xPurpleDaisy 13-15, F Dec 23, 2014

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    When I was only twelve years old,

    life was too much. I thought myself to be fat, ugly, and weak. My best friend was hit by a car and killed, one of my friends got breast cancer, all my teachers hated me, my grandpa had a stroke and (he still is) paralyzed, and can only say 'wanna wanna wanna'. My mother was...
    Felix112 Felix112 18-21, F 1 Response Dec 29, 2014

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    Every Scar I Have Makes Me Who Iam :)

    So I am 21 years old and finally I think it's time for me to share my story and hopefully I can help you young ones to seek help.... The word seek help can be very scary because you don't want to tell people as you feel judge and maybe the person will tell people that you don't...
    whatdoesntkillumakesustronger whatdoesntkillumakesustronger 22-25, F 1 Response May 8, 2013

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    im so angry and upset about every thing

    that is happening and every thing that has happened. i feel like the only way to get it out properly is to make my self feel pain i cant go on anymore. im so close to self harming. i used to self harm too. what should i do ?
    alysia28 alysia28 13-15, F 1 Response Dec 16, 2014

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    Someone once said to me "If you self harm,

    what makes you any better than the people that drove you too it? Your doing the same thing.."
    prettybrowneyes1993 prettybrowneyes1993 18-21, F 2 Responses Jan 22

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    I Didn'T Know How To Deal With It..

    When I was 16, on May 2011, I was abducted by 3 guys and they sold me around, used me and abused me, and just left me like I was nothing. I didn't know what to do, I made people think I was okay, I always smiled and laughed at their jokes, my family didn't even know til my dad...
    itsjustbrit itsjustbrit 18-21, F 5 Responses May 22, 2013

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    I want to cut.... Kind of have all day

    but now I want to so bad
    bigca1697 bigca1697 16-17, F 2 Responses a week ago

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    "Your arm." My father noticed over dinner.

    "What happened?" I was about 12 and had had a rough day so I sort of took the thumbtack holding a poster on my bedroom and stabbed my right arm(I'm left handed) as well as dragging cuts into my arm. Now I kept that arm in my lap and pretended it didn't ache. I also pretended not...
    sagate sagate 22-25, F 1 Response Jun 16, 2014

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    It's Only A Matter Of Time.

    I have the urge to cut again. It's almost been two years since I last cut. I just recently threw away all my razors too. But..things have been hard lately. I've been thinking about it a lot and I feel like I need to. My promises to myself and my others are the only thing...
    Thewastedyouth16 Thewastedyouth16 16-17, F 1 Response Nov 13, 2012

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    I self harmed for almost 5 years straight,

    yeah I'm scarred up. But I met this person and they helped me and I've been 3 weeks clean, trying hard not to give in. But the struggle is increasing. The person who has helped me always ones me up with her other friend, ALWAYS. It hurts and I've told her. But all she thinks is...
    xxDarkLoverxx xxDarkLoverxx 13-15, F Dec 11, 2014

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    A few years go, my parents go in to HUGE

    arguments. I hated it. There were some that were just like ehhh and just some that were OMG just stop. I cry every time that my parents argue..... My mom and dad would get drunk every now and then and I hated it! I couldn't help myself... There was just too many things going on...
    cantsaymynamesorry cantsaymynamesorry 13-15, F Nov 22, 2014

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    Being Free Since 2006...

    There was a stage in my life where i used to self mutilate. It started in my teens, I had a lot of anger. I was living with my father who was abusive and controlling. He was very emotionally abusive. He would call me stupid, say i had no common sense. I remember getting into...
    mixieloca mixieloca 31-35, F 2 Responses Sep 5, 2013

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    Yes for a good 2 years (2011-2012),

    Cutting, Splitting my knuckles and knees and well the obvious beating myself down with banter, I've done it and I regret it( The only thing I regret), So now turning 22 next week I'm happy that i have overcome a Disease that a majority of people call a disorder, 2 years of...
    Arizv11 Arizv11 22-25, M 1 Response Nov 19, 2014

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    kittykittyoxc kittykittyoxc 18-21, F Nov 23, 2014

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    im finally starting to accept myself

    for who i am scars and all.... Yet i must admit , I hate to see my scars in the mirror they bring up a lot of terrible memories.
    JustKeepSwimmingg JustKeepSwimmingg 13-15, F 2 Responses Nov 16, 2014

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    I have Bipolar disorder

    and I used to cut and burn myself to cope with my depression and erratic mood swings. I used to carry a cigarette lighter around everywhere and carried and empty cigarette carton. Everyone just assumed I smoked, even my parents when they found it. No one knew that I hid my...
    ThatAwkwardGuy ThatAwkwardGuy 18-21, M 1 Response Apr 19, 2014

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    relapse isn't good .

    and I hate it . I went from wrist to thighs in a month and now I'm starting to cry
    shawny97 shawny97 16-17, M 2 Responses Dec 13, 2014

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    I can't tell which scars came from what anymore,

    from being bullied or self-harm or suicide.
    PantomimeEira PantomimeEira 16-17, F 2 Responses 3 days ago

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    I don't belong in this group

    as I haven't completely given it up, but I have cut less than usual lately. Praying this is the start of recovery and that I can stay clean this time.
    Theycallherelly Theycallherelly 13-15, F 2 Responses Nov 18, 2014

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    Hi I'm new here. This is a pretty personal post

    as a first story, but I feel like I can just let it all out on a community whom I am a stranger to. Basically, I used to self harm. It wasn't like one of those things where you do it for attention, or do it for fun. I needed it. I was depressed. I felt like my world had turned...
    DieWithYourMaskOn DieWithYourMaskOn 13-15, M 3 Responses Sep 8, 2014

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    Here's to the boys. The ones

    who self harm, the ones who have eating disorders, the ones who suffer from depression, anxiety. Your perfect prince or princess will come along soon. Boys suffer too, why does everyone forget that?
    JamieLongfield JamieLongfield 13-15, F 2 Responses May 30, 2014

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    unidentiffied unidentiffied 16-17, F 1 Response May 2, 2014

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    My scars are so ugly

    and huge. They cover the tops of my thighs and they make my legs look so horrid. I regret every single one of them.
    Roadtorecovery31997 Roadtorecovery31997 16-17, F 1 Response Dec 15, 2014

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    You know why people cut?

    Because it's a distraction. For one moment you don't feel all the pain, the loss, the hurt. All you feel is that razor going into your skin. The blood dripping down your arm, leg, stomach. You don't think about the way people talk about how you feel about yourself and about how...
    EmberWazowski EmberWazowski 18-21, F 7 Responses Jun 3, 2014

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    I used to self harm, sometimes I still have

    urges. It's not something to joke about, it's a serious thing. If anyone self harms just know, that I love you, and you are a strong person.
    evansmarieanna evansmarieanna 18-21, F 2 Responses Dec 21, 2013

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