I Used To Think I Was Getting Better, But I'm Not

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 134 People

    I am struggling trying to keep my mind occupied.

    . I have PTSD type c and I believe it is getting worse.
    swimmingwolf0 swimmingwolf0
    22-25, F
    Jun 8, 2014

    My mind has been spiraling out of control.

    I'm nine months abuse free and my mind is torturing me. The flashes are grueling. The thoughts suffocating. I'm being stretched thin and I want to not exist. Not die but to just not exist to be in between so for once I don't feel. My mind is trying to kill me now that the people...
    swimmingwolf0 swimmingwolf0
    22-25, F
    2 Responses Sep 19, 2014

    The more i try to forget,

    the more it comes back too me, ugh... I mean like try to forget someone exists, like someone you 'liked' trying to forget them is hard as hell and for me it makes my situation worse bc if there's someone you like yet you know ur not good enough for them so u try to forget, but...
    YouAreAllPesants YouAreAllPesants
    18-21, F
    May 9, 2014

    Every time I begin feeling better,

    and things begin looking up or I feel like I'm almost out of that deep hole, it's like i fall back in again.. and it's not necessarily people knocking me back down. I feel like I am drowning in my own mind.. I'm tired of pulling myself up just to hit bottom again.. I wanna die...
    SkinnImIn SkinnImIn
    18-21, F
    May 9, 2014

    **** it. Pretending to be happy is much more

    easy than trying to get better... So that's what I'm gonna do. Shut my damn mouth and pretend that everything is fine and dandy. Just like I used to. Things are better that way.
    MrCutBleedSmile MrCutBleedSmile
    22-25, M
    1 Response Feb 15, 2015
More Stories