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I 've Come To Realize That Blood Doesn't Make A Family

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 9,385 People

    I had (and part of me still believes) never to

    give up on family. But as I grew older, I realized some people don't deserve your love or compassion. I've tried to have a good relationship with my mother for so long. She won't allow it. She's stubborn, rude, abusive, and hateful. I finally came to terms with this when she...
    neonstitches neonstitches 18-21, F 3 Responses Jun 22

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    to me ive come to realize.

    friends can be more like family than actually family its ****** up but true i can count on then more than family anyone. else
    jameswertman12 jameswertman12 26-30, M 2 Responses Mar 3

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    I am the youngest of five

    and I haven't seen my siblings or my "mother's" side of the family in a decade. Initially it was their choice not to see me--I was fifteen and decided to move in with my father and step-mother. After I got my license to drive, I drove all the way out there to see my quadriplegic...
    seelensauger seelensauger 26-30, F 4 Responses Dec 31, 2014

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    I've come to realize

    that blood doesn't make a family. BUT it makes a really great smoothie!
    zmedleff1 zmedleff1 41-45 3 Responses Jan 4

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    Actually I've always realised that.

    Here is something I recently posted on another group here. I've not spoken to my father for many years. The last time he tried to speak to me was a few years back. I was working in a supermarket at the time and he saw me in the chilled department, then tried to be all pal-like...
    Romanadvoratrelundar Romanadvoratrelundar 22-25, M 2 Responses Apr 26

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    Yes, I have done it. I wrote a letter to my

    toxic mother telling her that I cut her off my life. I had also briefly explained the reasons for this "divorce", because I think it's very violent to just disappear from somebody's life. After I have done that, I felt the need to do a big clean up in my apartment, and re...
    CantatriceChauve CantatriceChauve 31-35, F 1 Response May 14

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    My family has always ignored me

    and ostracized me and treated me differently than they treat each other. I've never been one of them. It has become worse now that I'm an adult and they have pretty much rejected me and treat me like I'm worthless. They have shown that they truly don't care. Thankfully I have...
    UnwantedPup UnwantedPup 31-35, T 1 Response Apr 25

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    Just because we are "family" doesn't mean they

    care... I've found more love out of my in-a-way vicious cat than relatives... Most of the advice I get though has been from teachers and counselors. They seem to care, in a way, more about me...
    Sil833 Sil833 18-21, F 3 Responses May 16

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    Friends are the family you choose

    for yourself, the ones that stick by you time after time, they don't care if you stuffed up today, tomorrow or last week they're there anyway. They will be there regardless. A shoulder to cry on, a familiar face that greets you warmly, a better place to be.
    Littlemisssomebody Littlemisssomebody 31-35, F 3 Responses Jan 7

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    Close friends, online

    or not, become family. I don't believe blood defines anything besides that you're alive.
    Kkgunny Kkgunny 16-17, F 4 Responses Jun 5

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    They Say Blood Is Thicker Than Water

    I wonder how they came to this conclusion. This only applies to my sister as she is my soul mate. One person does not make up a family that is for sure. I may still have my mum but I have always had my issues with her that had carried through my childhood.
    HardingP119 HardingP119 36-40, M 5 Responses Mar 12, 2013

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    DNA doesn't make a Family Love does

    which means if u love someone and u love that person u should consider them a family member
    Vswagger Vswagger 13-15, M 1 Response Jun 24

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    And I'm far from it. I will tell you everything

    sincerely and straight up. But, here in Ecuador, I've realized that blood never really makes the family although it can be a huge factor. I have made a family in New York. We all belonged to eachother. We all were there for eachother. And we all loved eachother freely and...
    ConLocura ConLocura 18-21, F Mar 25

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    A letter to my father.

    My dear father, You have been gone a long time now,but I know that you will read that letter,you are reading as I am writing.I wish that I had had the knowledge and confidence to write that letter when you were still alive,but knowledge,confidence and wisdom often appear late...
    berangere berangere 66-70, F 8 Responses Dec 10, 2014

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    Hello! I have definitely found this out!

    You know a family is suppose to be a special thing. These are suppose to be people who come on this earth naturally equipped to be there for you. They are all suppose to be your first loves. The ones who you learn how to love other people in the world from. People who are...
    glassfire100 glassfire100 31-35, F 4 Responses Jul 19, 2014

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    I had realized that my mother is toxic.

    She's always sending bad vibes. Negativity. She uses me but she doesn't like to spend time with me. It used to be painful, but I am okay with it now. I just want to cut her off from my life completely. I have done that for three months, and I finally felt free. But I have...
    CantatriceChauve CantatriceChauve 31-35, F 2 Responses Apr 26

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    It's somebody who is willing to stay by your

    side when you need it the most.
    IchirinNoHana IchirinNoHana 22-25, F 4 Responses Jun 23

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    I found out when I was 8

    that my dad wasn't my really dad. I'll always call him dad but he isn't my blood. He brought me up from being 3 months in my moms tummy and hasn't ever left my side. My real dad left me as soon as he found out about the pregnancy. My dad (stepdad) will be the only father I...
    jessicanorth jessicanorth 16-17, F 5 Responses Jun 9, 2014

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    I realized this when my parents basically

    abandoned me after I started living as a woman. So **** them, is what I'm saying. It's the people who stick by you that matter
    emyleejane emyleejane 26-30, T 6 Responses Apr 27

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    I'm not really sure what a family is supposed

    to be like. For me it's weird to say I love you and all that. I was raised to be able to handle hurtful words and I never really had words of encouragement or heard words of love growing up. It's weird for someone to tell me they love me or say words of affection to me. Ive...
    dashuria dashuria 16-17, F 6 Responses Oct 8, 2014

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    berangere berangere 66-70, F 1 Response May 19

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    I have come to realize

    that blood does not make a family. I have blood family members who treat people on the side of the road better than they do myself, and than, I have friends/"Chosen family" that I have never met face-to-face who are more like a family to me. I am the type of person who will do...
    NYSlilAngel NYSlilAngel 26-30, F 2 Responses Mar 8, 2014

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    The two people I thought would remain to have

    my back, who I could call or hang out with when I'm down have now turned their backs on me, it's okay though I look back and I see now my brothers never really helped me out much, if something as little as the events that'd took place for them to ditch me and treat me like I'm...
    Britt4ny Britt4ny 70+, F 1 Response 15 hrs ago

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    I have my family of choice from Alateen

    and they are my true family. My blood family aren't those that are there for me. It's my fellow Alanons and Alateens.
    bbybleu bbybleu 16-17, F 2 Responses May 11

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    Absolutely not, like s great man

    once said. "Family doesn't start with blood, but it doesn't end with it either." Supernatural............ They're killing off everyone...
    YouCantEscapeMyDemons YouCantEscapeMyDemons 13-15, M 5 Responses Jun 5

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    Nothing like a beautiful Sunday afternoon with

    family you haven't seen in 3 years. The view of the tops of their heads as they played on their phones the whole time really gave the air a sense of family.
    Bumblelion Bumblelion 31-35, M 4 Responses May 17

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    Very true I see it in my bfs family his baby

    brother was adopted at 10 months after his parents died in a car crash. He is treated no different than rest the kids I have to admit he's our pet.
    sassygirl15 sassygirl15 13-15, F 3 Responses Mar 21

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    Experienced this yesterday at Thanksgiving.

    ..new friends who are old souls. A safety there when you mention a piece of your past ten years ago and it's like they were right there with you.
    MrHeartaFire MrHeartaFire 41-45, M 3 Responses Oct 13, 2014

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    Memories that simply will not go away.

    There are days when my mind is still full of sad memories,I have moved on in many ways but those memories remain and still haunt me. I was told by my older sister that my father made my mother pregnant to keep her home,stop her gallivanting.After my birth, my mother resumed her...
    berangere berangere 66-70, F 7 Responses May 23, 2014

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    Well , family isn't made by blood bond ,

    it's made from a strong loyalty a pledge to protect each other and help one another . Tho I've experienced some families are just made up by lies and deception , to me my blood bond is nothing , my family is made by me , the few people I let close are the ones I call family and...
    icelus icelus 18-21, M Apr 15, 2014

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    Family is where your heart belongs.

    My parents were awful when I grew up. I found someone I could trust and call "mom" and for the first time I felt understood and accepted even though we aren't related. It's important what you feel and not what's written in your birth certificate.
    SnowInSummer SnowInSummer 22-25, F 2 Responses Mar 30

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    Nope not at all. The people I consider family

    are not related to me by blood. The ones I spend birthdays, Christmases, Thanksgivings. We are each others rocks, shoulders to cry on. We do anything and everything possible for each other. Nothing could make us closer than we are. We love each other and that's all we need.
    TaylorSophia TaylorSophia 22-25, F 1 Response 5 days ago

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    Me and two of my siblings were adapted,

    so my parents had three kids and adopted three I was taught from an early age that blood doesn't make a family love does
    PanamanianPenguin PanamanianPenguin 18-21, F 1 Response Apr 24

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    My family treats me like dirt under their shoes.

    They think I'm an unwanted child, since I was an accident, and they already had my brother. When I was 12 years old, I met someone named Ilona, she became my best friend and changed my life. She was like a sister I never had, and I soon realized, she was the only person I loved...
    lunablue13 lunablue13 16-17, F 4 Responses Oct 20, 2014

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    I would go to the ends of the earth

    and back for my friends. In everyday-life, I am a horrible friend. In everyday-life, I avoid seeing them face-to-face.... actually anything that involves me having to put pants on.... If I message back at all, it's to bail on a social outing, and sometimes I don't speak to or...
    TheBlasphemousOptimist TheBlasphemousOptimist 18-21, F 4 Responses Jun 25

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    Three kids and they do not

    even care if I exist, yet I brought them up and worked hard to give them a good upbringing. Their cheating lecherous lying mother done the damage. An evil black widow with her manipulative tentacles everywhere to get what she wants. To think I divorced the ***** around 1980 and...
    Thesoutherner Thesoutherner 66-70, M 6 Responses Jun 22

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    Look at Lydia. We're not related,

    yet I treat her like my sister. ~ Lys ♪
    LysChan LysChan 18-21, F Apr 25

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    I am hurting because I want my mom to love

    and acknowledge me but she won't. It's a pain I'm trying to live with.
    honestlyanonymouslyme honestlyanonymouslyme 22-25, F 4 Responses Apr 26

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    And my blood-bound relatives are not family to

    me at all. Most of my life, my mom shut me out and pretended like I was nothing but a piece of useless garbage. She would even say things along that line sometimes. My step-dad is occasionally physically abusive and both my mom and step-dad are emotionally abusive. I feel lonely...
    SamanthaJC SamanthaJC 13-15, F 1 Response Apr 7

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    I've had to work against my family my whole

    life. They always set me back and were about as supportive as a training bra. Moving out of my parent's house was the best decision I could have made. The extra separation allowed me to grow unhindered. I worked hard to be where I am today and none of the credit can go to anyone...
    Sapphire89 Sapphire89 26-30 6 Responses May 2, 2014

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    The bond that links your true family is not one

    of blood, but of respect and joy in each other's life. Rarely do members of one family grow up under the same roof. ~Richard Bach
    MissMeliscious MissMeliscious 26-30, F 3 Responses May 16

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    I've always had a sneaking suspicion

    that blood doesn't necessarily make family. Both my parents came from big families - eight brothers and sisters each.  Judging by the way my mother and father were treated by their own siblings during their lives - and the fact that, when my father died, none of his brothers...
    womaninbliss womaninbliss 51-55, F 6 Responses Dec 13, 2013

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    I believe that blood is not always thinker

    than water. How do you feel?
    royalkonz royalkonz 22-25, M 6 Responses Nov 9, 2014

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    My sister's marriage is on the brink of divorce.

    She told me yesterday that she simply doesn't feel anything anymore for her husband. And I was so angry at her...I know it may sound strange: I should support her but I can't help it, I'm really angry. And here's the reason why: I don't want to lose my brother-in-law. When he...
    aloysia aloysia 26-30, F 7 Responses 1 day ago

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    Seblett Seblett 13-15, F Aug 27, 2014

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    So this back story might take a while.

    My Mom has had to deal with abuse from her parents and siblings for her whole life. Mostly from her older brother. However, her parents have always taken the brother's side. In turn, she has been outcast from her family, went through a period of severe depression, and went to...
    Ariomelody42 Ariomelody42 16-17, F 4 Responses Apr 24

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