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I Want to Be Able to Control Borderline Personality Disorder

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 316 People

    How Long Can I Tread Water?

    I have always known my brain does multiple things at one time, uses sex to feel wanted, spin out of control, apologise after an episode, and not know why I act like I do. Tried therapy a few times but never found a fit. Found a therapist and told me to read the book I hate...
    Tink2001 Tink2001 46-50, F 2 Responses Mar 22, 2013

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    I'm your most beautiful dream .

    . . and your worst nightmare. And I'm not even sure sometimes what it means to be normal. Cluster B Personality Disorder. It sounds so clinical, doesn't it? So clean-cut and removed; mental illnesses seem scary, and they're always for "other" people. Except, that's not true...
    MalibuBarbie10 MalibuBarbie10 22-25, F 4 Responses Dec 25, 2013

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    What Now?

    Recently, i have found out that all of my suspicions were, for the most part, true. He was most definitely sneaking around, lying and i am almost positive that the situations i thought he may have cheated, he did. I mean, you dont hang out ALONE with an old fling buddy, take...
    Winniebug13 Winniebug13 18-21, F 1 Response Oct 18, 2013

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    Being bpd is nothing to be ashamed of,

    is just being different and having kinda a big responibility in your life, its not a common life neither a common personality type which makes you look like and alien haha, I was saying that is not bad at all just a matter of accepting who you are and making the best of it, now...
    maryjaneeeee maryjaneeeee 26-30, F 3 Responses Feb 3, 2014

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    BPD

    I've always known I was different but it wasnt until a few months ago that I found out why. My friends & family have no idea of the stuff that goes through my head. The negative reports and stigma that go with this do nothing for me other than to bring me down. Everywhere the...
    Pene1opePitstop Pene1opePitstop 41-45, F 2 Responses Feb 18, 2013

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    Beating the "Monster"

    Hello all!  I'm 25 and was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder along with Borderline Personality Disorder about 6 months ago.  After a few visits to my psych she told me that she didn't think I really had Bipolar, just BPD.  This was already a suspicion of mine due to...
    BeccaSPTA BeccaSPTA 22-25, F 8 Responses Oct 8, 2008

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    Putting The Pieces Together

    I am 38 years old, and have had bpd for most of my life. I am a severe self injurer, and have had many addictions. I was raised by a mother who has multiple personality disorder, and a father who just couldnt love me. I have been sexually abused, physically abused, and mentally...
    brok3ninsid3 brok3ninsid3 36-40 1 Response Nov 29, 2010

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    I Am Trying So Hard.

    I am trying so hard to better myself. i have gone through mass amounts of individual therapy and 2 sessions of group therapy. at the time, it helped immensely. i became confident, positive and i had control over my mind. i lost that when i got into an abusive and horrible rebound...
    Winniebug13 Winniebug13 18-21, F 2 Responses Jul 15, 2013

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    I Regret What I Have Done.

    Sitting here, completely alone, left by everyone..i regret what i have done. The things i have said to him..would make the average person kill themselves on the spot.. in my fit of rage i become blinded. i cannot see straight, i say things that make no sense and only worsen the...
    Winniebug13 Winniebug13 18-21, F Oct 4, 2013

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    I Have No Answers But A Thought I'd Like To Share With You.

    Well into adulthood I had to admit that I have suffered from Mental "Health" Issues and still am. So I am diagnosed officially with BPD, but suspect I am bipolar too, as I suffer from the effects of my high level of Energy and enthusiastic vices. Reading the title of this group...
    Likewhatido Likewhatido 36-40, F 1 Response Jan 24, 2013

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    When it all started

    My parents were both very young when I was born. Just 19. By todays standards thats very young. It wasnt the greatest of times, we were incredibly poor. My dad was idle & wouldnt work, we hardly had any food, couldnt pay the bills, had no heating, and my mum, at 19 was under...
    Pene1opePitstop Pene1opePitstop 41-45, F 1 Response Mar 8, 2013

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    I can control some things

    now better that before, but it is a constant struggle....
    StreetgirlnamedDesire504 StreetgirlnamedDesire504 36-40 2 days ago

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    I've Been Diagnosed With Bpd For Over 6 Years Now!

    I was diagnosed just over 6 years ago with borderline personality disorder with bipolar tendencies. At first it was the most devastating thing to hear but after awhile I realised that there are many other's out there like me. I realised that it probably all started when I was...
    angelcat angelcat 41-45, F 9 Responses Oct 7, 2008

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    Losing All Control

    hi my name is ruby Im a very nice and beautiful person when im my self but the bpd has distroyed mylife in every aspect.I try to be ok but its like this demon takes over i lose it over nothing my partner or friend and family cant even tlk to me. the other night my partner told...
    emotionalwreak emotionalwreak 18-21, F 4 Responses Oct 17, 2012

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    A Heartfelt Letter To Those With Bpd/traits

    You learn alot about life as a non, also alot about human frailty. They can catch you off-guard. If you are a senstive person the impact a BPD can have on your psyche can be extreme. Why? Do you ask? My example deals with a woman who ex-communicated with me over a...
    stoic12 stoic12 41-45, M 2 Responses Nov 2, 2012

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    How To Live

    How can I live, when society disapproves of every decision I want to make, and when others' expectations of me are more than burdening because no one knows that I'm a borderline? They expect me to react as they would, get involve in activities they would, be happy or sad about...
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Aug 8, 2013

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    My Borderline Personality Makes It Difficult To Keep My Friends

    So, I argue with all my friends a lot, but i'm always worried that my best best friend will not want to be my friend. I try so hard to be a good friend but I get snappy a bit too easily. I wish I could stop cutting and burning myself, I had quit and held it out for 3 months, i'm...
    SugarCakes SugarCakes 18-21, F 2 Responses Oct 25, 2012

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    (not?!) Coping With Bpd

    I am a 23 year old female. After therapy on and off from the age of 5, never knowing what was wrong with me and my life gradually becoming more of a trainwreck during adolesence, at 18 I was finally diagnosed with BPD. I'll never forget that day, it was so hard to take in - that...
    lucifer1988 lucifer1988 22-25, F 4 Responses Jul 29, 2012

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    Any Tips?

    Hey everyone, My name is Tany and i have bpd Borderline affects and ruins almost every part of my life. Especially my relationship. Im manipulative, i act out when i think my boyfriend is abandoning me (which is just when he is busy) I get suicidal easily and currently self...
    Tany94 Tany94 18-21, F 4 Responses Jun 30, 2012

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    So lately everyday has been a struggle.

    Everyday with some kind of episode and I can't snap out of it for long before I plunge back into it. My boyfriend is more than understanding and tells me how much he loves me how beautiful I am and let's me full blown lash out at him then say sorry... Now I'm in a depressed hate...
    xoxoFireyIcexoxo xoxoFireyIcexoxo 26-30, F 1 Response Jul 21

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    Moving Away:

    I realized that managing my BPD will be easier if I move out of state away from my family (including my BPD parents who refuse any sort of treatment). I went to grad school out of state and made so much emotional, spiritual and even physical progress in those 10 months, it was...
    wtsunshine wtsunshine 41-45, F 4 Responses Nov 16, 2013

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    Living in this world can be

    so difficult. I'm sure so many people could agree with me but many of you can relate to how it feels to live with Borderline Personality Disorder. Some days are easier then others....those days that fall off the cliff can feel like Hell. The thoughts that go through my mind, the...
    LadyAmbrosia LadyAmbrosia 22-25, F 1 Response Feb 4

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    How Do I Control My Incessant Worrying? Please Help...

    Especially with my girlfriend leaving me. Especially since I try breaking up because I'm scared she's miserable no matter what she says.... Especially since she's the best girlfriend I've ever had and I love her and want to keep her and I just want to stop worrying... I'm on meds...
    tmhtmh12 tmhtmh12 18-21, M 2 Responses Oct 1, 2012

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    The person I love is going to leave me

    because this awful thing that infects me and I'll be back down to 1 person who knows the real me until he dies from that disease this year. *sigh*
    ZER0RPHEUS ZER0RPHEUS 18-21, F Jun 16

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    Well I did it again..

    .. I fought with my boyfriend and my head is screaming just stop just stop don't break it off he loves you just stop but I can't stop. I ******* can't I'm crying wanting to scream please don't let me leave you but of course he lets me make my own choices like anyone would and I...
    xoxoFireyIcexoxo xoxoFireyIcexoxo 26-30, F Jul 25

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    I Understand Bpd To An Extent...

    My ex has BPD, and was very manipulative, spiteful and violent, but she was also very sad and lonely, which is why i tried to stay with her.I can appreciate the struggles of those with BPD as I have seen it first hand, and it is great that you are, for want of a better way to say...
    mrmizzle mrmizzle 22-25, M 2 Responses Nov 10, 2011

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    I Cant Trust Anyone

    No one. not even my boyfriend.. I dont know what to do.. i dont think i have ever been to this point.. and ive been to a lot of points, a lot of places in my life. i have borderline and bipolar. and trust issues you cannot imagine. i just want to say **** you to everyone and...
    Winniebug13 Winniebug13 18-21, F Aug 29, 2013

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    Ups And Downs

    I wasn't diagnosed until I was 23. I am now 30. I've been hospitalized, misdiagnosed, and on all sorts of medications. I use to self medicate constantly. Up until a little under two years ago, I smoked weed like it was going out of style. All day, everyday. I battled...
    drgng0ddess drgng0ddess 31-35, F 2 Responses Feb 28, 2013

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    It's Tough

    I manage mine, but I don't think I have the ability to control it yet. Medication has never helped, I have gotten farther on my own than by taking pills.
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Feb 8, 2011

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    I Came Across Something Useful

    ... And here I am sharing it with you all. :) I came across this site> http://www.bpdrecovery.com/ and I think it is very useful for anyone taking the self-help route and don't know where to start. It focuses on CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) and it's a great resource that...
    AmandaMarlee AmandaMarlee 18-21, F 1 Response Jun 8, 2013

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    BPD V Faith

    I'm about to face a big test. I need to let someone go. This is the person who led me to discovering this monster & forced me to look it in the face. And I dont mind admitting Im terrified. But theres one thing thats equal to this in power & thats faith. Faith that when I throw...
    Pene1opePitstop Pene1opePitstop 41-45, F 1 Response Apr 21, 2013

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    Mood Swings

    Now I've just realised this. These rapid mood swings; one minute I'm ok, then the feeling is like electricity or getting cramp. You can physically feel it. First down the arms, then down the rest of the body. Hello darkness my old friend.
    Pene1opePitstop Pene1opePitstop 41-45, F 3 Responses Mar 10, 2013

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    My Bpd Is Under Control Mostly - But My Goal Now Is To Be Healed From It Completely.

    So it's been a year since I was diagnosed. And though I am still on the waiting list for the public hospital treatment, I have tried 3 months of private treatment. It was a lot harder than I expected, especially, since my moods was becoming less dark - depression can neutralize...
    watchfulsoul watchfulsoul 26-30, F 10 Responses Jan 20, 2011

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    I have been battling most of my life health

    issues I didn't understand until now. I have physical and emotional issues and cannot get long term disability although I keep trying. Right now I am on disability till January 2016 because of anxiety. Because of Fibromyalgia I cannot even work as Pharmacy Technician even though...
    BrokenAndDown BrokenAndDown 26-30, F Jul 25

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    Another Day

    Another day in this miserable life.. Another day fighting waiting for help searching ...being patient another day of sadness .. another day with her inside my head another day ....... the only good part is my medication...thats all depressed tired of this boring life Sigh...
    freakbride freakbride 18-21, F 1 Response Oct 8, 2013

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    Me

    I Am... i am myself, i'm afraid of t he dark ..she told me not to i want to live...she told me to stop with food' i want to have friends...she told me to break every friendship i want to be me ...she wants me to be mean, manipulative and insecure i am not a Bit*h....she is... i...
    freakbride freakbride 18-21, F Oct 4, 2013

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    Related Experiences

    You want true love but true love with only that person, I don't care if someone else offers me anything it has to be that person.
    Calamityy Calamityy 22-25, M 7 hrs ago

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    Idk what happened I suddenly feel like wanting to die..I feel weal and tired..I wanna be alone but at the same time I want someone to tell me it'll pass and everything is gonna be...
    DalaKumono DalaKumono 18-21, F 3 Responses 13 hrs ago

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    Is there anyone here who has had another former or co existing diagnosis with borderline personality disorder? I was diagnosed with Autism in my childhood but one psychologist I...
    rainbowsmangos2015 rainbowsmangos2015 22-25, F 18 hrs ago

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    How do you deal with getting pushed away? It's hard to even survive those moments.
    Calamityy Calamityy 22-25, M 2 Responses 23 hrs ago

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    I may be a sadistic borderline but at least I wouldn't lie, betray or cheat the people I cherish (even if it is a few). I wonder who the real animals are.
    Calamityy Calamityy 22-25, M 1 day ago

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    This is a lil excerpt from a comment I made. "you can over come it. its a matter of retraining ur brain. and reassuring urself. what ur experiencing is probably not real.like...
    BeautifullySickkk BeautifullySickkk 31-35, F 3 Responses 1 day ago

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    Do any of you (those with borderline) find you feel like you have to be in a relationship?? You're always on the prowl for one? For me I'm this way big time. If I sense a...
    BeautifullySickkk BeautifullySickkk 31-35, F 3 Responses 1 day ago

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    I hate my husband today! I wish he would pay for what he has done.
    arachmichel arachmichel 26-30, F 3 Responses 1 day ago

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