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I Want to Be Able to Control Borderline Personality Disorder

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 222 People

    Me

    I Am... i am myself, i'm afraid of t he dark ..she told me not to i want to live...she told me to stop with food' i want to have friends...she told me to break every friendship i want to be me ...she wants me to be mean, manipulative and insecure i am not a Bit*h....she is... i...
    freakbride freakbride 16-17, F Oct 4, 2013

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    Having Bpd?

    I found out I had it roughly two weeks ago. Ive lived with it my whole life. Now I understand why I do the things I do even when I dont mean to do them. The mood swings are up and down and so many things streaming into my head faster than a plane as it appears sometimes. Im only...
    Joshcoolblue Joshcoolblue 18-21, M 2 Responses Jan 4, 2010

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    Another Day

    Another day in this miserable life.. Another day fighting waiting for help searching ...being patient another day of sadness .. another day with her inside my head another day ....... the only good part is my medication...thats all depressed tired of this boring life Sigh...
    freakbride freakbride 16-17, F 1 Response Oct 8, 2013

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    How To Live

    How can I live, when society disapproves of every decision I want to make, and when others' expectations of me are more than burdening because no one knows that I'm a borderline? They expect me to react as they would, get involve in activities they would, be happy or sad about...
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Aug 8, 2013

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    Putting The Pieces Together

    I am 38 years old, and have had bpd for most of my life. I am a severe self injurer, and have had many addictions. I was raised by a mother who has multiple personality disorder, and a father who just couldnt love me. I have been sexually abused, physically abused, and mentally...
    brok3ninsid3 brok3ninsid3 36-40 1 Response Nov 29, 2010

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    Moving Away:

    I realized that managing my BPD will be easier if I move out of state away from my family (including my BPD parents who refuse any sort of treatment). I went to grad school out of state and made so much emotional, spiritual and even physical progress in those 10 months, it was...
    wtsunshine wtsunshine 41-45, F 3 Responses Nov 16, 2013

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    A Heartfelt Letter To Those With Bpd/traits

    You learn alot about life as a non, also alot about human frailty. They can catch you off-guard. If you are a senstive person the impact a BPD can have on your psyche can be extreme. Why? Do you ask? My example deals with a woman who ex-communicated with me over a...
    stoic12 stoic12 41-45, M 2 Responses Nov 2, 2012

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    When it all started

    My parents were both very young when I was born. Just 19. By todays standards thats very young. It wasnt the greatest of times, we were incredibly poor. My dad was idle & wouldnt work, we hardly had any food, couldnt pay the bills, had no heating, and my mum, at 19 was under...
    Pene1opePitstop Pene1opePitstop 41-45, F 1 Response Mar 8, 2013

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    Today was extremely difficult.

    I'm in the middle of the ocean without a sail...up the creek without a paddle; however the saying goes. It was as the moon caused my emotions to fluctuate all day. Even to the point I almost chewed a coworkers head off...he brought it to my attention and now I fell severely...
    blackxrosexyuuki blackxrosexyuuki 18-21, F Feb 2

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    What Now?

    Recently, i have found out that all of my suspicions were, for the most part, true. He was most definitely sneaking around, lying and i am almost positive that the situations i thought he may have cheated, he did. I mean, you dont hang out ALONE with an old fling buddy, take...
    Winniebug13 Winniebug13 18-21, F 1 Response Oct 18, 2013

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    I Am Trying So Hard.

    I am trying so hard to better myself. i have gone through mass amounts of individual therapy and 2 sessions of group therapy. at the time, it helped immensely. i became confident, positive and i had control over my mind. i lost that when i got into an abusive and horrible rebound...
    Winniebug13 Winniebug13 18-21, F 4 Responses Jul 15, 2013

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    My Bpd Is Under Control Mostly - But My Goal Now Is To Be Healed From It Completely.

    So it's been a year since I was diagnosed. And though I am still on the waiting list for the public hospital treatment, I have tried 3 months of private treatment. It was a lot harder than I expected, especially, since my moods was becoming less dark - depression can neutralize...
    watchfulsoul watchfulsoul 26-30, F 10 Responses Jan 20, 2011

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    I'm your most beautiful dream .

    . . and your worst nightmare. And I'm not even sure sometimes what it means to be normal. Cluster B Personality Disorder. It sounds so clinical, doesn't it? So clean-cut and removed; mental illnesses seem scary, and they're always for "other" people. Except, that's not true...
    MalibuBarbie10 MalibuBarbie10 22-25, F 4 Responses Dec 25, 2013

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    How Long Can I Tread Water?

    I have always known my brain does multiple things at one time, uses sex to feel wanted, spin out of control, apologise after an episode, and not know why I act like I do. Tried therapy a few times but never found a fit. Found a therapist and told me to read the book I hate...
    Tink2001 Tink2001 41-45, F 2 Responses Mar 22, 2013

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    I Regret What I Have Done.

    Sitting here, completely alone, left by everyone..i regret what i have done. The things i have said to him..would make the average person kill themselves on the spot.. in my fit of rage i become blinded. i cannot see straight, i say things that make no sense and only worsen the...
    Winniebug13 Winniebug13 18-21, F Oct 4, 2013

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    Trying to Gain Some Control...

    So...I'm actually diagnosed as having borderline personality disorder and also bipolar II rapid cycling. I have battled doctors and loved ones over both diagnoses for years and haven't actively sought treatment in the past 8 years since I was diagnosed...until now. I have...
    kiragirl79 kiragirl79 26-30, F 1 Response Oct 16, 2008

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    Losing All Control

    hi my name is ruby Im a very nice and beautiful person when im my self but the bpd has distroyed mylife in every aspect.I try to be ok but its like this demon takes over i lose it over nothing my partner or friend and family cant even tlk to me. the other night my partner told...
    emotionalwreak emotionalwreak 18-21, F 4 Responses Oct 17, 2012

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    I Understand Bpd To An Extent...

    My ex has BPD, and was very manipulative, spiteful and violent, but she was also very sad and lonely, which is why i tried to stay with her.I can appreciate the struggles of those with BPD as I have seen it first hand, and it is great that you are, for want of a better way to say...
    mrmizzle mrmizzle 22-25, M 2 Responses Nov 10, 2011

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    BPD

    I've always known I was different but it wasnt until a few months ago that I found out why. My friends & family have no idea of the stuff that goes through my head. The negative reports and stigma that go with this do nothing for me other than to bring me down. Everywhere the...
    Pene1opePitstop Pene1opePitstop 41-45, F 3 Responses Feb 18, 2013

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    Ups And Downs

    I wasn't diagnosed until I was 23. I am now 30. I've been hospitalized, misdiagnosed, and on all sorts of medications. I use to self medicate constantly. Up until a little under two years ago, I smoked weed like it was going out of style. All day, everyday. I battled...
    drgng0ddess drgng0ddess 31-35, F 2 Responses Feb 28, 2013

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    BPD V Faith

    I'm about to face a big test. I need to let someone go. This is the person who led me to discovering this monster & forced me to look it in the face. And I dont mind admitting Im terrified. But theres one thing thats equal to this in power & thats faith. Faith that when I throw...
    Pene1opePitstop Pene1opePitstop 41-45, F 2 Responses Apr 21, 2013

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    Any Tips?

    Hey everyone, My name is Tany and i have bpd Borderline affects and ruins almost every part of my life. Especially my relationship. Im manipulative, i act out when i think my boyfriend is abandoning me (which is just when he is busy) I get suicidal easily and currently self...
    Tany94 Tany94 18-21, F 4 Responses Jun 30, 2012

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    How Do I Control My Incessant Worrying? Please Help...

    Especially with my girlfriend leaving me. Especially since I try breaking up because I'm scared she's miserable no matter what she says.... Especially since she's the best girlfriend I've ever had and I love her and want to keep her and I just want to stop worrying... I'm on meds...
    tmhtmh12 tmhtmh12 18-21, M 2 Responses Oct 1, 2012

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    Beating the "Monster"

    Hello all!  I'm 25 and was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder along with Borderline Personality Disorder about 6 months ago.  After a few visits to my psych she told me that she didn't think I really had Bipolar, just BPD.  This was already a suspicion of mine due to...
    BeccaSPTA BeccaSPTA 22-25, F 8 Responses Oct 8, 2008

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    (not?!) Coping With Bpd

    I am a 23 year old female. After therapy on and off from the age of 5, never knowing what was wrong with me and my life gradually becoming more of a trainwreck during adolesence, at 18 I was finally diagnosed with BPD. I'll never forget that day, it was so hard to take in - that...
    lucifer1988 lucifer1988 22-25, F 4 Responses Jul 29, 2012

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    I Cant Trust Anyone

    No one. not even my boyfriend.. I dont know what to do.. i dont think i have ever been to this point.. and ive been to a lot of points, a lot of places in my life. i have borderline and bipolar. and trust issues you cannot imagine. i just want to say **** you to everyone and...
    Winniebug13 Winniebug13 18-21, F Aug 29, 2013

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    Mood Swings

    Now I've just realised this. These rapid mood swings; one minute I'm ok, then the feeling is like electricity or getting cramp. You can physically feel it. First down the arms, then down the rest of the body. Hello darkness my old friend.
    Pene1opePitstop Pene1opePitstop 41-45, F 3 Responses Mar 10, 2013

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    It's Tough

    I manage mine, but I don't think I have the ability to control it yet. Medication has never helped, I have gotten farther on my own than by taking pills.
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Feb 8, 2011

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    Not feign it. I try to remain positive

    throughout the week, but my mood and emotions constantly deteriorate. Either I reach a breaking point and contemplate suicide or I have a good day and the cycle begins anew. I know there's no cure for this...imma be forced to continue this way forever.
    blackxrosexyuuki blackxrosexyuuki 18-21, F 1 Response Feb 2

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    How Do I Control Myself?

    Borderline affects and ruins almost every part of my life. Especially my relationship. Im manipulative, i act out when i think my boyfriend is abandoning me (which is just when he is busy) I get suicidal easily and currently self injure when to cope with my negative feelings. How...
    Tany94 Tany94 18-21, F 1 Response Jun 30, 2012

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    I Have No Answers But A Thought I'd Like To Share With You.

    Well into adulthood I had to admit that I have suffered from Mental "Health" Issues and still am. So I am diagnosed officially with BPD, but suspect I am bipolar too, as I suffer from the effects of my high level of Energy and enthusiastic vices. Reading the title of this group...
    Likewhatido Likewhatido 36-40, F 1 Response Jan 24, 2013

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    I Came Across Something Useful

    ... And here I am sharing it with you all. :) I came across this site> http://www.bpdrecovery.com/ and I think it is very useful for anyone taking the self-help route and don't know where to start. It focuses on CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) and it's a great resource that...
    AmandaMarlee AmandaMarlee 18-21, F 1 Response Jun 8, 2013

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    Being bpd is nothing to be ashamed of,

    is just being different and having kinda a big responibility in your life, its not a common life neither a common personality type which makes you look like and alien haha, I was saying that is not bad at all just a matter of accepting who you are and making the best of it, now...
    maryjaneeeee maryjaneeeee 26-30, F 1 Response Feb 3

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    Hi Everyone

    Hi Everyone My Name Is JoeyLee I Was Diagnosed With Depression Borderline Personality Disorder Anxiety and Bi-Polar Disorder After I Attempted To Take My Own Life Back On July 23, 2011 I Ended On A Five Day Hold In The Psych Ward For Overdosing on 86 Pills Because I Did Not Want...
    bOmBzS69 bOmBzS69 22-25, F 1 Response May 2, 2012

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    I've Been Diagnosed With Bpd For Over 6 Years Now!

    I was diagnosed just over 6 years ago with borderline personality disorder with bipolar tendencies. At first it was the most devastating thing to hear but after awhile I realised that there are many other's out there like me. I realised that it probably all started when I was...
    angelcat angelcat 41-45, F 9 Responses Oct 7, 2008

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    Back in November of 2013 I was diagnosed with

    Borderline Personality disorder. I would like to call it impulse and inconsistency disorder. The hardest thing with what I am going through is finding those that understand. There was definitely some relief when I realized that there is a legitimate reasons for a lot of the...
    qman8508 qman8508 26-30, M Mar 14

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    Related Experiences

    My problem with getting this diagnosis was that I used to not like the fact that everyone gets labels. I mean, I still feel like certain terms get thrown around way too casually...
    showusyoursouls showusyoursouls 18-21, F Apr 1

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    Recently been told I may have Borderline Personality Disorder. It's not a confirmed diagnosis yet, but I'm pretty sure I have it, definitely makes more sense to me than the...
    atremain atremain 18-21, F Apr 3

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    Caged. Heavy; light; pounding; relaxing; broken; glued. This is what goes on inside her head, because this is who she is; a girl diagnosed with borderline personality disorder. She...
    danielle18 danielle18 18-21, F 1 Response Apr 9

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    i have borderline personality disorder maybe i have to join another group lee anne
    maddisongrace maddisongrace 46-50, F 2 Responses Mar 29

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    I have borderline personality disorder
    isabel44 isabel44 16-17, F Mar 30

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    I have PSTD and personality disorder which I don't know how to handle.
    godswish49 godswish49 46-50, M 2 Responses Apr 4

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    All I want is someone to care about me. Try opening up but I'm in the wrong.. Tried going out but no one pays me attention. So sick of life.
    jjw123 jjw123 18-21, F 1 Response 3 hrs ago

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    Balancing in an unbalanced world. Walking on a tightrope with the wind blowing. Falling apart while simultaneously trying to catch the pieces. That's how I've been feeling the...
    greeneyes91 greeneyes91 22-25, F 1 Response Mar 29

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    Starting at a young age I felt alone, empty, and misunderstood. It was such a normal feeling I almost didn't realize it wasn't "normal". What was wrong with me? ADD? Depression...
    certzjbd23 certzjbd23 22-25, F 3 Responses Mar 31

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    I woke up scared about how my day would be considering the last few days I've been severely depressed. Having BPD is hard. One morning you can wake up the happiest person & go to...
    Susananais Susananais 18-21, F Apr 6

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    As a teen, psycologists or whatever ists think it could just be "teen moodiness". That is in fact, bullshit. This isn't your oh whatever, she/he is just having moodiness. These are...
    AnaPanda1 AnaPanda1 13-15, F Apr 2

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    I was diagnosed with BPD about a year and a half ago. I was in denial and didn't get the help that I needed. It was my husband who figured out that their was something wrong and...
    mamakate09 mamakate09 22-25, F 1 Response Mar 23

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    I hate when randomly BPD starts taking over out of no where. It's like from 0 to 10 quickly. There's no feeling kinda bad it just goes to horrible. I hate being like this. I want...
    Australianladybug Australianladybug 31-35, F 1 Response Mar 26

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    I have chosen to be alone till I die. I find that with borderline it is literally impossible to find good people and maintain friendships and relationships. I enjoy being alone...
    FragileFish FragileFish 22-25, F 3 Responses Apr 4

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    I have such a personal dilemma and it's causing way more of a commotion inside me then it should . Logically looking at it there's a reasonable explanation to the issue , that...
    Briinx Briinx 31-35, F 3 Responses 3 days ago

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    I have BPD and I'm totally my own worst enemy, I've learned over the years that when things are calm and peaceful I sabotage my own life because I'm more comfortable in chaotic...
    BeautifulBorderlineJunkie BeautifulBorderlineJunkie 22-25, F 3 Responses Apr 11

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    I spend my free time filling my head with fantasies of running away. Running away from the life I know, maybe I'd be better if I started over somewhere else. No one knows you, you...
    jhib jhib 22-25, F 2 Responses Mar 27

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    I left work today :( A little background. I was diagnosed BPD (among others) 5 years ago and have been on disability since then. Disability has that wonderful program where for...
    whoamifooling whoamifooling 31-35, F 2 Responses Mar 26

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