Post

I Want to Be Able to Control Borderline Personality Disorder

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 230 People

    My Borderline Personality Makes It Difficult To Keep My Friends

    So, I argue with all my friends a lot, but i'm always worried that my best best friend will not want to be my friend. I try so hard to be a good friend but I get snappy a bit too easily. I wish I could stop cutting and burning myself, I had quit and held it out for 3 months, i'm...
    SugarCakes SugarCakes 18-21, F 2 Responses Oct 25, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    My Bpd Is Under Control Mostly - But My Goal Now Is To Be Healed From It Completely.

    So it's been a year since I was diagnosed. And though I am still on the waiting list for the public hospital treatment, I have tried 3 months of private treatment. It was a lot harder than I expected, especially, since my moods was becoming less dark - depression can neutralize...
    watchfulsoul watchfulsoul 26-30, F 10 Responses Jan 20, 2011

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Moving Away:

    I realized that managing my BPD will be easier if I move out of state away from my family (including my BPD parents who refuse any sort of treatment). I went to grad school out of state and made so much emotional, spiritual and even physical progress in those 10 months, it was...
    wtsunshine wtsunshine 41-45, F 3 Responses Nov 16, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Another Day

    Another day in this miserable life.. Another day fighting waiting for help searching ...being patient another day of sadness .. another day with her inside my head another day ....... the only good part is my medication...thats all depressed tired of this boring life Sigh...
    freakbride freakbride 18-21, F 1 Response Oct 8, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Being bpd is nothing to be ashamed of,

    is just being different and having kinda a big responibility in your life, its not a common life neither a common personality type which makes you look like and alien haha, I was saying that is not bad at all just a matter of accepting who you are and making the best of it, now...
    maryjaneeeee maryjaneeeee 26-30, F 2 Responses Feb 3

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Beating the "Monster"

    Hello all!  I'm 25 and was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder along with Borderline Personality Disorder about 6 months ago.  After a few visits to my psych she told me that she didn't think I really had Bipolar, just BPD.  This was already a suspicion of mine due to...
    BeccaSPTA BeccaSPTA 22-25, F 8 Responses Oct 8, 2008

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Any Tips?

    Hey everyone, My name is Tany and i have bpd Borderline affects and ruins almost every part of my life. Especially my relationship. Im manipulative, i act out when i think my boyfriend is abandoning me (which is just when he is busy) I get suicidal easily and currently self...
    Tany94 Tany94 18-21, F 4 Responses Jun 30, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    BPD V Faith

    I'm about to face a big test. I need to let someone go. This is the person who led me to discovering this monster & forced me to look it in the face. And I dont mind admitting Im terrified. But theres one thing thats equal to this in power & thats faith. Faith that when I throw...
    Pene1opePitstop Pene1opePitstop 41-45, F 2 Responses Apr 21, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Hi Everyone

    Hi Everyone My Name Is JoeyLee I Was Diagnosed With Depression Borderline Personality Disorder Anxiety and Bi-Polar Disorder After I Attempted To Take My Own Life Back On July 23, 2011 I Ended On A Five Day Hold In The Psych Ward For Overdosing on 86 Pills Because I Did Not Want...
    bOmBzS69 bOmBzS69 22-25, F 1 Response May 2, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    How To Live

    How can I live, when society disapproves of every decision I want to make, and when others' expectations of me are more than burdening because no one knows that I'm a borderline? They expect me to react as they would, get involve in activities they would, be happy or sad about...
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Aug 8, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    It's Tough

    I manage mine, but I don't think I have the ability to control it yet. Medication has never helped, I have gotten farther on my own than by taking pills.
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Feb 8, 2011

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I've Been Diagnosed With Bpd For Over 6 Years Now!

    I was diagnosed just over 6 years ago with borderline personality disorder with bipolar tendencies. At first it was the most devastating thing to hear but after awhile I realised that there are many other's out there like me. I realised that it probably all started when I was...
    angelcat angelcat 41-45, F 9 Responses Oct 7, 2008

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Me

    I Am... i am myself, i'm afraid of t he dark ..she told me not to i want to live...she told me to stop with food' i want to have friends...she told me to break every friendship i want to be me ...she wants me to be mean, manipulative and insecure i am not a Bit*h....she is... i...
    freakbride freakbride 18-21, F Oct 4, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I Cant Trust Anyone

    No one. not even my boyfriend.. I dont know what to do.. i dont think i have ever been to this point.. and ive been to a lot of points, a lot of places in my life. i have borderline and bipolar. and trust issues you cannot imagine. i just want to say **** you to everyone and...
    Winniebug13 Winniebug13 18-21, F Aug 29, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I Understand Bpd To An Extent...

    My ex has BPD, and was very manipulative, spiteful and violent, but she was also very sad and lonely, which is why i tried to stay with her.I can appreciate the struggles of those with BPD as I have seen it first hand, and it is great that you are, for want of a better way to say...
    mrmizzle mrmizzle 22-25, M 2 Responses Nov 10, 2011

    Your Response

    Cancel

    BPD

    I've always known I was different but it wasnt until a few months ago that I found out why. My friends & family have no idea of the stuff that goes through my head. The negative reports and stigma that go with this do nothing for me other than to bring me down. Everywhere the...
    Pene1opePitstop Pene1opePitstop 41-45, F 3 Responses Feb 18, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I Regret What I Have Done.

    Sitting here, completely alone, left by everyone..i regret what i have done. The things i have said to him..would make the average person kill themselves on the spot.. in my fit of rage i become blinded. i cannot see straight, i say things that make no sense and only worsen the...
    Winniebug13 Winniebug13 18-21, F Oct 4, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Putting The Pieces Together

    I am 38 years old, and have had bpd for most of my life. I am a severe self injurer, and have had many addictions. I was raised by a mother who has multiple personality disorder, and a father who just couldnt love me. I have been sexually abused, physically abused, and mentally...
    brok3ninsid3 brok3ninsid3 36-40 1 Response Nov 29, 2010

    Your Response

    Cancel

    When it all started

    My parents were both very young when I was born. Just 19. By todays standards thats very young. It wasnt the greatest of times, we were incredibly poor. My dad was idle & wouldnt work, we hardly had any food, couldnt pay the bills, had no heating, and my mum, at 19 was under...
    Pene1opePitstop Pene1opePitstop 41-45, F 1 Response Mar 8, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I Am Trying So Hard.

    I am trying so hard to better myself. i have gone through mass amounts of individual therapy and 2 sessions of group therapy. at the time, it helped immensely. i became confident, positive and i had control over my mind. i lost that when i got into an abusive and horrible rebound...
    Winniebug13 Winniebug13 18-21, F 2 Responses Jul 15, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I Came Across Something Useful

    ... And here I am sharing it with you all. :) I came across this site> http://www.bpdrecovery.com/ and I think it is very useful for anyone taking the self-help route and don't know where to start. It focuses on CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) and it's a great resource that...
    AmandaMarlee AmandaMarlee 18-21, F 1 Response Jun 8, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Ups And Downs

    I wasn't diagnosed until I was 23. I am now 30. I've been hospitalized, misdiagnosed, and on all sorts of medications. I use to self medicate constantly. Up until a little under two years ago, I smoked weed like it was going out of style. All day, everyday. I battled...
    drgng0ddess drgng0ddess 31-35, F 2 Responses Feb 28, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Losing All Control

    hi my name is ruby Im a very nice and beautiful person when im my self but the bpd has distroyed mylife in every aspect.I try to be ok but its like this demon takes over i lose it over nothing my partner or friend and family cant even tlk to me. the other night my partner told...
    emotionalwreak emotionalwreak 18-21, F 4 Responses Oct 17, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Trying to Gain Some Control...

    So...I'm actually diagnosed as having borderline personality disorder and also bipolar II rapid cycling. I have battled doctors and loved ones over both diagnoses for years and haven't actively sought treatment in the past 8 years since I was diagnosed...until now. I have...
    kiragirl79 kiragirl79 26-30, F 1 Response Oct 16, 2008

    Your Response

    Cancel

    How Do I Control Myself?

    Borderline affects and ruins almost every part of my life. Especially my relationship. Im manipulative, i act out when i think my boyfriend is abandoning me (which is just when he is busy) I get suicidal easily and currently self injure when to cope with my negative feelings. How...
    Tany94 Tany94 18-21, F 1 Response Jun 30, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    What Now?

    Recently, i have found out that all of my suspicions were, for the most part, true. He was most definitely sneaking around, lying and i am almost positive that the situations i thought he may have cheated, he did. I mean, you dont hang out ALONE with an old fling buddy, take...
    Winniebug13 Winniebug13 18-21, F 1 Response Oct 18, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    (not?!) Coping With Bpd

    I am a 23 year old female. After therapy on and off from the age of 5, never knowing what was wrong with me and my life gradually becoming more of a trainwreck during adolesence, at 18 I was finally diagnosed with BPD. I'll never forget that day, it was so hard to take in - that...
    lucifer1988 lucifer1988 22-25, F 4 Responses Jul 29, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Mood Swings

    Now I've just realised this. These rapid mood swings; one minute I'm ok, then the feeling is like electricity or getting cramp. You can physically feel it. First down the arms, then down the rest of the body. Hello darkness my old friend.
    Pene1opePitstop Pene1opePitstop 41-45, F 4 Responses Mar 10, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    How Long Can I Tread Water?

    I have always known my brain does multiple things at one time, uses sex to feel wanted, spin out of control, apologise after an episode, and not know why I act like I do. Tried therapy a few times but never found a fit. Found a therapist and told me to read the book I hate...
    Tink2001 Tink2001 41-45, F 2 Responses Mar 22, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Back in November of 2013 I was diagnosed with

    Borderline Personality disorder. I would like to call it impulse and inconsistency disorder. The hardest thing with what I am going through is finding those that understand. There was definitely some relief when I realized that there is a legitimate reasons for a lot of the...
    qman8508 qman8508 26-30, M 1 Response Mar 14

    Your Response

    Cancel

    How Do I Control My Incessant Worrying? Please Help...

    Especially with my girlfriend leaving me. Especially since I try breaking up because I'm scared she's miserable no matter what she says.... Especially since she's the best girlfriend I've ever had and I love her and want to keep her and I just want to stop worrying... I'm on meds...
    tmhtmh12 tmhtmh12 18-21, M 2 Responses Oct 1, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    A Heartfelt Letter To Those With Bpd/traits

    You learn alot about life as a non, also alot about human frailty. They can catch you off-guard. If you are a senstive person the impact a BPD can have on your psyche can be extreme. Why? Do you ask? My example deals with a woman who ex-communicated with me over a...
    stoic12 stoic12 41-45, M 2 Responses Nov 2, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I'm your most beautiful dream .

    . . and your worst nightmare. And I'm not even sure sometimes what it means to be normal. Cluster B Personality Disorder. It sounds so clinical, doesn't it? So clean-cut and removed; mental illnesses seem scary, and they're always for "other" people. Except, that's not true...
    MalibuBarbie10 MalibuBarbie10 22-25, F 4 Responses Dec 25, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I Have No Answers But A Thought I'd Like To Share With You.

    Well into adulthood I had to admit that I have suffered from Mental "Health" Issues and still am. So I am diagnosed officially with BPD, but suspect I am bipolar too, as I suffer from the effects of my high level of Energy and enthusiastic vices. Reading the title of this group...
    Likewhatido Likewhatido 36-40, F 1 Response Jan 24, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Related Experiences

    Hello, I was recently diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder. I am really freaking out about it. Since I was 18, I thought I had Bipolar disorder and now I am 25 and they...
    LostAriel LostAriel 22-25, F 5 Responses Jul 14

    Your Response

    Cancel
    I was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder a couple of months ago. But no matter how hard I try to change, my life keeps falling apart. Yesterday a friend emailed me...
    14CorCav 14CorCav 18-21, F 2 Responses Jun 26

    Your Response

    Cancel
    After being diagnosed with what seems like everything I was finally diagnosed with borderline personality disorder. It had taken a long time to get my meds right and to find a...
    skatinem13 skatinem13 26-30, F Jul 1

    Your Response

    Cancel
    hello , I been in a relation with woman has borderline personality disorder .. It ended in the most painful way to me , I can't get over it , she just abandoned me gradually until...
    xthedreamerx xthedreamerx 41-45, M 4 Responses a week ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    My psychiatrist recommended I try a Day Hospital group on his floor. It's a short program, about three weeks long, but I moved to give it a go. I never knew it would end up being...
    NoraDysphoria NoraDysphoria 18-21, F 4 Responses Jun 29

    Your Response

    Cancel
    The symptoms of this personality disorder are proving true. And it feels like it's out of my control. I'm very grateful and appreciative of the things around me, consciously. But...
    NoraDysphoria NoraDysphoria 18-21, F Jul 14

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Learning Tool I am a real learner. I truly believe for a person afflicted with this challenge or a 'non' - learning is the key to improving. Just thought I'd share my most...
    Altruistrick Altruistrick 56-60, M Jun 27

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Learning Tool I am a real learner. I truly believe for a person afflicted with this challenge or a 'non' - learning is the key to improving. Just thought I'd share my most...
    Altruistrick Altruistrick 56-60, M Jun 27

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Learning Tool I am a real learner. I truly believe for a person afflicted with this challenge or a 'non' - learning is the key to improving. Just thought I'd share my most...
    Altruistrick Altruistrick 56-60, M 1 Response Jun 27

    Your Response

    Cancel
    And I'm bipolar with ADHD and Psychosis. I take meds and I feel pretty good but I notice that my mood swings now are circumstantial. I find it difficult to cope with life. My...
    Roxvox Roxvox 31-35, F 1 Response 5 hrs ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Ever since this year, i have been very impulsive, obsessive and irritable. In the past i have self-harmed and undergone dissociative disorder and depersonalization at a small scale...
    butterfliesndut butterfliesndut 18-21, F 1 Response Jul 12

    Your Response

    Cancel
    I was officially diagnosed about 8 years ago when I was 21 but of course I've had it for much longer time. Since my childhood I'd always been very moody, capricious, prone to all...
    maajake maajake 26-30, F 1 Response Jul 2

    Your Response

    Cancel
    It took me a long time to realize something was wrong with the way I processed stress and handled relationships. Sure I always knew I was more emotional than others, more quick to...
    Sammy7802 Sammy7802 22-25, F 3 Responses Jun 29

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Who am I? I am a chameleon. I change, I turn blue or pink depending on what your favorite color is. Deep down, I want you to protect me and I want you to love me. I am a mirror...
    sabrinainstars sabrinainstars 18-21, F 2 Responses Jul 3

    Your Response

    Cancel
    I was never diagnosed with BPD but I feel I do have it. I have been reading about it and after reading many of your own testimonies I am convinced this is what I have. It's been a...
    Serenity14 Serenity14 26-30, F 2 Responses 2 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Living with this disorder is not something I am proud of. All my life I have pushed people away because I can not control my emotions. I am absolutely terrified to meet new people...
    ForeverLostPoet ForeverLostPoet 13-15, F 1 Response Jul 7

    Your Response

    Cancel
    I've been completely off this week. My mother (who's my biggest trigger) came into town doing her usual dishonest antics causing constant upset and paranoia that I'll be just like...
    aligain aligain 31-35, F 4 Responses 6 days ago