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I Want to Commit Suicide

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 1,275 People

    The only reason Im still alive

    after an 9 year battle with depression/anxiety/suicidal thoughts is because I don't want to put my loved ones through my loss. Unlike a lot of people with depression, I don't feel alone, I have the most amazig family/friends but my depression is the monster inside. I feel...
    missmichigan21 missmichigan21 18-21, F 3 Responses Jul 16

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    Tonight, i feel like dying.

    ....i cannot start to express my thoughts and feelings. Tonight i contemplate my death......would the people then finally realise what they have done to me ........ I am down in the gutters, deeper the deep, sadder then sad, i cannot carry on with this make believe life.....i...
    unlivelylife unlivelylife 22-25, F 9 Responses May 4

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    Who am I?

    I dont know when it started, everything just became so ... the world is grey. each day I feel my body getting heavier, I wonder why I live and if I should keep living... Most people would think that's a stupid way to feel, but is it? Each and everyday I have to pretend that im...
    blackrose3908 blackrose3908 18-21, F 4 Responses Jan 16, 2011

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    Shes Gone

    fell in love with a girl in recovery for narcotics addiction we were both vulnorable and seemed to hit it off but I've never been much good with the opposite sex and I didn't know how to act in she was 20 years younger and beautiful...I'm not going to bore you with all the...
    wnt2die wnt2die 46-50, M 6 Responses Sep 15, 2013

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    I Am Considering Suicide.

    That is all, really. I needed to say that. I needed to be able to say that, somewhere, to someone, because there are a great many loving, caring people in my life who would be highly distressed if I said this to them. And not only do I love them too much to upset them so greatly...
    overanalytic overanalytic 70+ 2 Responses Jun 3, 2013

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    Last night I had a dream

    that I was in the bath tub. I took apart the razor sitting on the edge of the tub. I just looked at it and imagined what it would be like to end it. I've wanted to for a long time but I was always too scared. This time though, when I imagined cutting my wrists and just laying...
    saldabri123 saldabri123 18-21, F Jun 8

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    Everyday

    Everyday I think about committing suicide I was raised with the idea if you're a good person loyal honest and nice set of ventually you will find someone who loves you but these are false pretenses. This world has changed there is no place for a guy like me anymore. I have to ask...
    TheRascallyOne TheRascallyOne 22-25, M 23 Responses Feb 24, 2012

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    Im not afraid to commit suicide.

    Thing is some days when things get really bad i have the perfect plan for it. i try and find a way. but then in between i feel like i shouldn't give in, i should fight my demons. So my thoughts of suicide, are they moments of weakness? or my answer? Ive come to the point where i...
    nelly18 nelly18 18-21 3 Responses Dec 8, 2013

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    .. But I don't have even a little courage to go

    through with it, even though I think about it nearly every day. I remember it started around when I was ten. At first it was mere suicidal ideation, and I pondered what would happen if I were to die? Who would notice, who would care? It gradually, throughout the years...
    adorea adorea 70+, F 4 Responses Apr 13

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    I know it might sound strange

    for a person to say they want to die and mean it, but I do. My life as been one free-fall train wreck after another and now with the current events of my life I feel its time to make my exit. I know that this decision will hurt my family and that is a bad thing, but is it not...
    Drossi28 Drossi28 26-30, M 5 Responses Jun 14

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    I have been depressed

    for most of my life so I have thought about it for a long time and I don't see my life will get better. I have spoke to my psychiatrist asking him to raise my medications but he is a little **** - telling me that I just need to get out more and do more things.
    LadyAnonymous123 LadyAnonymous123 22-25, F 4 Responses Jun 11

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    I Don't Matter Anyway

    I want to die because I cannot stand the pain of being me anymore. I'm a failure, a loser and basically worthless. There is not one thing that I'm good at and all I seem to do is get in the way. No matter what I do I will never be good enough and I just want to end the enormous...
    Abbyjo Abbyjo 18-21, F 24 Responses Apr 3, 2012

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    I Wish I Was Never Born

    Life seems filled with only pain & suffering all i ever do is remember is the times people or family hurt me. Lies about things will get better & time heals its BS....Suicide is the answer being on disability i need to find a quick cheap way to kill myself. Please no crap about...
    Scaredalone2 Scaredalone2 36-40, M 7 Responses Nov 6, 2013

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    No Reason To Live

    I'm tired of living and want to end my life. The feeling of sadness rules my life with no remorse, I wake up every morning with feelings of sadness, hopelessness and the thought of death. I have a few friends but I can't talk to them because everytime I try, I get blown off with...
    Z33t Z33t 26-30, M 9 Responses Aug 11, 2012

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    Anyone in my place would have committed suicide

    (I'm guessing) But if you are dead inside and can't feel how horrible your life is then it is ok to continue breathing I tried to commit suicide before i went numb
    AutoLove0 AutoLove0 22-25, F 2 Responses 4 days ago

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    Numb

    Hi, I've overdosed twice in the last year, first time ended up in critical care, second time ended up on life support. I cant understand why people wont just let me go. I feel I am done in this life and havin nothing to carry on. Im not upset angry or anything, I just want to go...
    trish1972 trish1972 41-45, F Jul 4, 2013

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    I am not even a shadow of a person now.

    I fantasise about being murdered.
    foreversadsam foreversadsam 26-30, F 4 Responses Jul 20

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    I was broken and gave up years ago.

    A permanent solution to a temporary problem. How many decades are considered temporary? Things don't get better, they get worse. Yesrs and years of getting worse. I inbox my story and people don't believe it, call it horrific, even a "friday the 13th senario" which is rediculous...
    stevehere76 stevehere76 36-40, M 3 Responses May 30

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    I Don't Think There Is Any Other Option

    Ive already written about this, but I am losing hope for a miracle. I just made the finishing touches on my "suicide box" or goodbye capsule if you will, today. Letters to my family members, every last one of them, old friends, pictures, and a few other things.and wrapped it all...
    SkippingTheGoldenYears SkippingTheGoldenYears 18-21, F 21 Responses Apr 2, 2012

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    I want to commit suicide

    because I am black. I feel inferior to every other race on earth. There are tons of websites dedicated to how much the world hates blacks. Youtube, Facebook, **** everyday the world let's me no how feral and disgusting I am. No one even thinks we are human we are compared to...
    rightthistime rightthistime 22-25, F 4 Responses Jul 22

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    Last Night..

    I've had really bad times where depression has taken over me and made me feel worthless, empty and like I was the only person on this ****** up world, but last night was just different. I never felt this horrible like I did last night, the whole night I cried, the kind of...
    eskieloner eskieloner 22-25, F 14 Responses Dec 18, 2011

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    Commit, Not Attempt.

    I got it all planned out. I think I'm finally ready to attempt this again. This will be my third time trying it. I know I'll succeed this time. I'm going to duct tape the end of a hose to my car's tail pipe so the carbon monoxide will go through the hose and the other end will go...
    Brody1530 Brody1530 22-25, F 8 Responses May 18, 2013

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    Well, I give up. Too much.

    Too damn much. I'm not going to go in details because everyone has their reason. I will not go out with a bang by shooting myself or using pills or make a spectacle of myself… I just want to melt away… Disappear. Never exist. Everyone thinks my diet is really a diet but I'm...
    Thepinkcoconut Thepinkcoconut 18-21, F 5 Responses Jun 7

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    Suicidal thoughts are back.

    I know where my nan hides my medication. All I think about is overdosing and I wish it would go away because I don't want to hurt my family but then I have thoughts that if I kill myself, everyone will be better off. I'm in such a bad way at the moment, I really hope I can get...
    BeautyOfSuffering BeautyOfSuffering 22-25, F 3 Responses Jul 4

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    Beaten, Homeless, Cheeted On, Degraded.

    I really cant do this thing called ''life'' anymore. Its no life, its just an exisance for me. Suppose it all started about 20 years ago when my mum and dad went out for the night and left me with 'the baby sitter'. He was only 16 but i still remember his rancid breath and...
    AllGonePeteTong AllGonePeteTong 26-30, F 8 Responses Nov 20, 2009

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    Secrets (rawr).

    I'm an effing f a g g o t and I can't even tell anyone because my parents are completely against that kind of thing. I don't have many friends or goals or anything. I really.. just kind of don't have a purpose, you know?
    SoGold SoGold 13-15, M 22 Responses Jun 7, 2009

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    If I could just get the barrel of the gun in my

    mouth, I know I could do it! That is my dream, my ambition. I will keep trying and trying until I do it!
    ninedecember ninedecember 46-50, M 1 Response Apr 18

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    I Dont Think Its An Option!!!

    As the title says,I dont think this is an optionMy girlfriend got her vocal cords ripped in a cancer shock,her cousin raped her and broke her legs and i cant contacther either from skype/phone/in person. She is 99% Dead.My parents and cousin are also dead of cancer,And my friends...
    123hey123 123hey123 22-25, M 3 Responses Aug 26, 2013

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    Today I am 55...I should be celebrating.

    No, not going to happen. I do not feel I ask for much in this life. I feel I am always the giver. I am going to end this life today. It is not just the money problems. I have two daughters. I love them both so much. My older daughter and I have a pretty good relationship. But...
    cabob2615 cabob2615 51-55, F 2 Responses Apr 10

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    I'm a 33 your old man,

    i lost my beautiful girlfriend to suicide four months ago. It has destroyed me as a person, i used to enjoy life, be happy, go out with friends on nights out and have fun. Now i don't do anything or go anywhere, the only place i go every week is the cemetery, i sit at Roses...
    markdbruce markdbruce 31-35, M 5 Responses Jun 13

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    I suppose I could be depressed,

    but if I am, I wouldn't know. I feel peaceful thinking about death. I comfort myself thinking about how I will commit suicide. My life really isn't that bad at all, but I'm just tired of it. I can only foresee pain in the future. Losing people I care about and watching myself...
    c0deblu3 c0deblu3 31-35, F 2 Responses Jul 8

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    How Does One Get The Courage?

    I honestly don't think I have anything more to live for. Does anyone have any tips on how to get the courage to do it?
    LoftyDreamer LoftyDreamer 22-25, M 3 Responses Nov 4, 2013

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    I Feel Like I Never Should Have Been Kept Here

    I guess my first feeling on this matter goes back to where it all began. i was born ,I was  extremely premature and we did not have the medical care we have now I was not expected to live through the first night, without medical interference i would have died. Did the doctor(s...
    emery777 emery777 41-45, F 11 Responses Nov 28, 2012

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    Too often in our society,

    we are sent mixed signals about how we should always present ourselves in accordance to the standards the general public demands. We are expected to wear a mask to cover what countenance is truly conveyed by our facial expressions. Sometimes, a person truly is not donning a mask...
    QuixoticPoet81 QuixoticPoet81 31-35 1 Response Apr 27

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    The Perfect Pattern, Spoken By Plato

    The devine design, for there is a devine design for each and every person. There is a place that you can fill and no one else can fill. Something you are to do which no one else can do.
    Bythelight0fthemoon Bythelight0fthemoon 31-35, F 4 Responses Jan 4, 2013

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    I Plan 2 Die

    Im tired of life, nothing excites me anymore only when im high i feel happy im so depressed and moody, my life is such a chore, that i dont want to do anymore i dont want to talk to no one, i want to meet someone who feels the way i do, and see what happens.
    ItsAnt ItsAnt 31-35, M 1 Response Mar 11, 2013

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    Fuckthisshit

    I'm scared of life. I think about the countless number of days ahead of me and I feel trapped. Trapped living. Trapped in my mind. I feel insane. I'm dying to get out. Dying to be free. I wish it it was all over. I wish I had the choice to end it all. Why don't I have the choice...
    MELIZAS1234 MELIZAS1234 18-21, F 2 Responses Apr 18, 2013

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    I Plan To Commit Suicide By 27

    I am 24 years old, and am so unhappy. I take medication, I go to therepy, I have done EVERYTHING in the book to help myself get "better". I have felt this way ever since I was thirteen years old. I do not plan on making this post a life story post, but some background I believe...
    Lindss119 Lindss119 22-25, F 10 Responses Mar 12, 2012

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    Hello all I've never felt

    so helpless, hopeless in my entire life. I cry myself to sleep most nights. I am on FOUR different meds and still fn depressed!! I have a 2 yr old dtr that is the only thing I can hold onto at the moment. Even that has not been so strong lately. I think about writing her a...
    dabestrn dabestrn 36-40, M 2 Responses Jun 2

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    I I want to commit suicide

    because there is no hope for me. Day by day I am bullied and mistreated I have no friends I sit bymyself everyday at lunch. I am so ugly nobody wants to date me, or even kiss me. I am treated as though I am a monster because my looks seem too ugly for people to look at . I...
    sadhumanbeing sadhumanbeing 18-21 6 Responses May 23

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    We are: A text only service

    for suicidal people who need a friend. Free (except if your cell phone carrier charges for texts) We accept texts from anyone, any age, gender, race, religion, or location. Sometimes you just feel lonely and don't feel like anyone understands you or maybe you don't have...
    suicidexside suicidexside 26-30, F 1 Response Jun 21

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    i'm doing it right now.

    actually going to get pills now and have a bottle of alchol with me been drinking now. silly of me to post this up here but id dont care no one cares in this world. good bye
    nm1106 nm1106 22-25, F 2 Responses 5 hrs ago

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    Does anyone else want to.

    .........................................?
    LV1985 LV1985 26-30, F 9 Responses Apr 7

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    Three Words For Anyone Considering Suicide

    Don't do it! Years ago I seriously considered suicide. I am not going to catalog my reasons. Suffice it to say, I found myself in a long, dry valley of regret and self-loathing.  Depressed, miserable, friendless, and trapped by circumstances not of my own making, I saw only one...
    deleted deleted 26-30 7 Responses Mar 28, 2012

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    I Almost Got Hit By A Car

    A few days ago, I was mindlessly walking across an intersection as a car sped around the corner, headed straight for me. I heard people on the streets gasp, one of them even screamed and then I processed what was going on. The weird thing is, I didn't have a moment of panic. My...
    daaytripper daaytripper 18-21, F 8 Responses Jul 4, 2013

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    When It Is Time...

    I want to have one wild weekend with someone who also chooses to end her or his life. I want to do things I haven't done for a long time. A couple of drinks, unprotected sex with (a) stranger(s), etc. and then walk into the ocean together. Or toss a coin and the person who wins...
    wimnj wimnj 51-55, M May 26, 2013

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    I am 29 with debilitating Social Anxiety

    Disorder. I need help. Maybe someone to text to from time to time. I am transitioning from military to civilian because of this issue, it is not by choice. I have had a plan to end it ever since i could remember, maybe around 10 years old. Even at that age i knew i would not...
    rangelb85 rangelb85 26-30, M 5 Responses Jul 9

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    I found out about my gpa

    and it was just what I was expecting. I'm going to fix it up next semester. I can't afford to screw it again. There's just so much going on right now. From constant pressure at home to finding work and this. I feel like giving up. I know people say it's selfish but I have...
    knls knls 18-21, F 2 Responses Jul 10

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    I'm so lonely. I have nobody

    that can physically comfort me. I'm tired of living like this! Why won't anyone accept me for who I am? All of my family and all of my friends are religious and homophobic. My parents are so ashamed that they have a gay daughter. I should just save everyone the embarrassment and...
    kberry95 kberry95 18-21, F 8 Responses Jun 1

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    34, male, no kids, single,

    straight, smoke, no drugs or alcohol. Never medicated. I'm fairly decent looking. I'm the same gender I was born. There's nothing about my physical self that would prevent me from living a full and successful life. I can hold a job. I'm a very much competent person. My problems...
    Dudustain Dudustain 31-35, M 3 Responses Jun 4

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    I think that we're all just

    so encompassed with superficial needs. I feel tired and I'm so exhausted from being in situations that drain me from being the person that I could have been.
    gollum71 gollum71 41-45, M 3 Responses Apr 21

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    I almost did it last night.

    My black cloud turned into a raging storm, and I couldn't breathe. I walked up the dark path (both figuratively and literally), pausing only to read the plaques along the fence of the people who had been there before me. Perhaps that's what stopped me. Or maybe I'm just a...
    pondersaurus pondersaurus 26-30, F May 22

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    I'm tired of living in a cold,

    dark world, full of hatred and despair... I'm tired of constantly hurting... I just want to be happy... I want to die and be free...
    CielPhantomhive1214 CielPhantomhive1214 18-21, F 8 Responses Mar 24

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