Post
Experience Project iOS Android Apps | Download EP for your Mobile Device

I Want to Cut Myself Now

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 2,686 People

    Sigh. This just isn't getting any easier,

    is it? I'm so tempted to take that nice fresh new blade out of the only pencil sharpener that I have that's never been taken apart... I keep trying to find enough reasons not to cut that it outweighs the crushing desire to do so, but I'm running out of reasons here... :/
    Yourguardianangel9613 Yourguardianangel9613 18-21, F 2 Responses May 6, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I crave it i wanna feel the cold blade across

    my pale flesh an watch my ruby blood create a river....maybe then i will be free
    SweetAngelFrostPup SweetAngelFrostPup 16-17, M Feb 19

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Okay bye I'm going to go cut myself I'm sorry

    Alexa but my feelings are hurt and I want the pain to go away
    butterflybaby123 butterflybaby123 13-15 1 Response 2 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Being yelled at really makes me want to cut.

    My life also really makes me want to cut. And lately it's been difficult to find something that would cut deep and cause a lot of blood shed. Sometimes I feel as if I deserve the pain and blood loss. Sometimes I cry when I cut, other times I don't. I usually use scissors to cut...
    NeonPurple NeonPurple 18-21, F 2 Responses Mar 9, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I've gained an addiction to cutting,

    and now I HAVE to do it whether I'm sad or angry or even happy at times, when the urge hits me no matter where I am or who's around I have to do it. I do, do it.
    Tamika123 Tamika123 16-17, F 3 Responses May 9, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel
    homesickbaby homesickbaby 18-21, F 3 Responses Feb 26

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Our body feels pain to warn us of danger But it

    also reminds us we're alive that it can still feel That's why some of us seek it out while others choose to numb it Solitude has always been my analgesic of choice But what if feeling nothing is the worst pain of all What if sharing pain connects us to others and reminds us...
    Kate197979 Kate197979 31-35, F 1 Response Nov 15, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I finally tell them and they dont believe it I

    show them proof they still dont and they block me over it...hes always gonna get what he wants and say what he wants to me and they wont care because they dont believe hes like that...he egs me on into cutting and tonight ill break and take it to my arms and they wont see...
    lostbrokeheart lostbrokeheart 18-21, F 3 Responses Mar 26

    Your Response

    Cancel
    jackalfredthegr8 jackalfredthegr8 13-15, M 2 Responses Jan 17

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I have been going down the list,

    and seeing what people have been posting about this and to be honest it does hurt me to read some of them. I see more post from girls then guys and I know to a point the reasons I did it up until about a year ago, were for different reasons, and I am not putting down anybody...
    mlcockrell mlcockrell 36-40, M 2 Responses Feb 24, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I Dont Know Where I Am

    it sucks to know that feeling sad is normal so you're starting to get used to it and no matter what the sadness wont leave. you try so hard but no. it sucks to self-harm almost everyday and nothing can stop you, you want to do it and continue doing it, it feels good. it sucks to...
    karissaxx22 karissaxx22 16-17, F 4 Responses Dec 2, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    not even going out on a Friday.

    not been to work can't face anything. FML
    CheatingTracy CheatingTracy 22-25, F 4 Responses Mar 6

    Your Response

    Cancel

    really miss cutting so much.

    😕 that's all I've been thinking about lately..
    ashleygrierrr ashleygrierrr 13-15, F 18 Responses Jun 28, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    A Year.... Wasted.

    I promised myself I wouldn't, but the promise really wasn't for me, it was for my little brother. He said "If you cut, I can cut too". So, I promised him, and myself that I would stop. I did. For a whole year. It was tough, REALLY tough, but his love, and his courage got me...
    bbmango16 bbmango16 18-21, F 2 Responses Dec 28, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    yeah well... life is just great.

    like anyone'd care. I'm just depressing to be around. people don't want to be around someone who brings them down. I try to act okay. but it doesn't work. I'm like the ball at the end of everyone I know's chain. I drag them down. If the ball wasn't there.. then they'd be...
    Kmarcum99 Kmarcum99 13-15, F 2 Responses Mar 4

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I just don't care anymore.

    I'm starting to not care if people know. If people see. I just don't care. I feel like everyone already judges me and hates me, it wouldn't make a difference. Maybe if they knew, people would actually care. I doubt that though. The more time goes on, the worse it gets. People...
    thoughtfulstars thoughtfulstars 13-15, F 1 Response May 16, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    There's no pain anymore,

    I cut and there's no pain, the blood runs down my arm and it's cold, there's no warmth. where do I go to feel??
    crabspanner crabspanner 36-40, M Mar 4

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Urges, urges. Seeing my scars fade is

    such a huge trigger, it makes me want to remake them. I'm 16 days clean, I miss it. I think I'll take a shower and eat something and take a nap. *******, I wish I hadn't ever started.
    Colourfi Colourfi 13-15, F 1 Response Apr 2

    Your Response

    Cancel

    There's always moments like this

    where I just have the incredible urge to cut myself. Thanks family. I love you too.
    PrincessPolarBear PrincessPolarBear 16-17, F 3 Responses Apr 5

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I wanna cut myself now.

    ...I messed up on so much I thought I knew things thought I had it figured out turns out I was all wrong and things r worser then what they seem
    lostbrokeheart lostbrokeheart 18-21, F 1 Response Apr 6

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Screw pretending to be happy.

    This is EP. I can be as depressing and miserable as I want. I can't stand this. I want to slash my arm open but I can't because I have to pretend to be fine. I have to wake up each day and smile and laugh and make jokes and act like the happiest freaking kid alive when all I...
    kaleidoscopic21 kaleidoscopic21 13-15, F 5 Responses Mar 21

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I took off my bracelets

    and saw my scars and my bracelet marks too
    elephant17 elephant17 18-21, F 2 Responses Mar 9

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I never in a million years thought I would be

    at the point where I thought hurting myself was the only answer. But I'm there. It is the most real and terrifying thought that has ever crossed my mind. I have never actually done it. I am too afraid of the scars it will leave. But I have started pinching myself so hard that it...
    dressydreamer dressydreamer 18-21, F 6 Responses Mar 10, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I've been clean for a few weeks

    but i feel like that's all i can turn to, the razor blade.
    Hailey7685 Hailey7685 13-15, F 2 Responses Mar 8

    Your Response

    Cancel
    lileva lileva 16-17, F 1 Response Feb 19

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Just one, from my wrist to my elbow.

    That sounds like a fantastic idea.
    kimberlykhaos kimberlykhaos 22-25, F 7 Responses Apr 2

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I Hate Myself And Cut For No Reason

    I'm 16. I'm very unsociable and don't like the company of many people. I only have one really good friend, but i go to a really tough school and have to spend most of my time doing homework. I have trouble paying attention to the boring stuff they teach in that awful place, so it...
    invisiblechild0 invisiblechild0 18-21, F 16 Responses Apr 15, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    My daemons are screaming at me telling me I

    need to, I want to, I have to. I scream "NO!" Want to put it down but my hand just won't let go
    Error404nameunknown Error404nameunknown 13-15, F 2 Responses Jul 4, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel
    merrianneyeah merrianneyeah 13-15, F 4 Responses Jun 8, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Cravings

    There are some days, weeks even, where the thoughts of sliding the smooth blade of my knife into my skin flood my head. There's something so satisfying about the pain. The little teardrops of red running over the curve of my wrist. The way my teeth grit, and my eyes plead with me...
    Girlonwire Girlonwire 18-21, F 13 Responses Jul 3, 2011

    Your Response

    Cancel

    It's been 8 months. I still haven't had the

    guts to throw my blades away, they're like my safety blanket, always there when I need them, but I've been doing well anyway. Especially when you consider what I have had to deal with in these 8 months. I was diagnosed with a chronic illness (POTS) and wasn't able to leave the...
    anon1995 anon1995 18-21, F Mar 22

    Your Response

    Cancel

    i cant take everything i hate myself to feel

    the cold blade across my skin see the blood dripping down to get some relief of this daily torment
    givenupforever givenupforever 22-25, F 1 Response Mar 15

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Here It Goes..

    I don't know what this is.. Or who reads this, but hello! Within the past two weeks, I've started cutting. I haven't cut in four years, but now it's coming back. And the ability to be able to show what I'm feeling on the inside, on the outside, is amazing to me.. I was also...
    MaddelynneJannessa MaddelynneJannessa 18-21, F 15 Responses Oct 18, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I don't even know why.

    I think seeing the scars and newest cuts on my hip set me off. I just...I don't know!!! Music can only help so much. I want to sit here and scratch at my hip but I can't exactly do that in class. I feel the need to carry my blade with me everyday now, but I don't think I can...
    EmoSakurachan EmoSakurachan 18-21 1 Response May 6, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Me Vs Razor

    I sat in my room staring at "my razor blade" for about 10mins feeling so lost'd and having loneliness eatting away at my soul and heart. It was drowing me and couldn't breath. I wanted to cut so bad... But I called my best friend and talk to her about it.. She cried a lot and...
    DarkAngel0309 DarkAngel0309 22-25, F 3 Responses Jan 4, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    i want to cut so deep

    that i see a lot of blood. my flashbacks are ruining my life and i cant be happy anymore
    elephant17 elephant17 18-21, F 2 Responses May 18, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Beautiful

              I'm possessed. My whole life is focused on this one thing: cutting. when I'm not doing it, I'm wondering when i will again, how to hide the scars, the scabs. where am i going to get new bandages, Neosporen, razor blades. I started carrying a blade with me in my...
    screamingsilently screamingsilently 18-21, F 2 Responses Sep 12, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I have been clean for about 7 months.

    Ive had this missing cutting feeling for the whole time but like the past couple weeks I've been like CRAVING IT. Like my body's GONNA die without it and ands making me go crazy. I mean I'm trying not to but it's hard and all I wanna do is cut but I know if I go down that road...
    jess965 jess965 13-15, F 1 Response Mar 15

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Can someone talk to me?

    ??? I'm feeling so alone......
    Cocosavethetatas Cocosavethetatas 22-25, F 9 Responses Oct 15, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Know The Feeling?

    I feel alone in a room full of people and cutting just sounds so good right now.
    WanderingRanger WanderingRanger 22-25, M 4 Responses Oct 28, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I haven't cut myself in

    such a long time. It's been months since I've had urges but I really want to hurt myself and tear myself apart today. I don't know what to do. I can't get my mind off of it. I need someone to talk to. Idk what to do anymore... ):
    burningcolors burningcolors 16-17, F 1 Response Mar 1

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Any one has a razor .

    i really need to cut myself and see my blood . I am sick of always hurting myself from inside if I can't stop myself from inside I will do it on the outside.
    Silentsuffer Silentsuffer 13-15, F Apr 4, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I lost my razor and was about a good 2 month

    since I have cut myself. I felt like part of myself was missing when I lost it. I sometimes have this urge to cut myself. Then I don't. But I suddenly did. And it felt empty and whole. Like a happy medium. It feels right and yet I know it's so wrong.
    NocturnalMiss23 NocturnalMiss23 26-30, F Feb 27

    Your Response

    Cancel

    i promised my best friend

    that i wouldnt cut myself and im 26 days clean but i just feel so empty and sad and terrible and idk i feel like cutting is the only way that i can take care of myself.
    bandsth0 bandsth0 13-15, F 2 Responses 1 day ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I feel that this need becomes an addiction

    and I keep chasing the next high here. I have stopping myself for the past week pretty much but I am so need of a fix right now. I don't know what to do as the warm weather is coming and it will cause questions to stay in long sleeve shirts all the time. Where do others cut...
    jacqueline1972 jacqueline1972 36-40, T 2 Responses Apr 6

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Why is everything so ******* depressing?

    Why am I such a failure? I fail...that's why I'm here, to fail and let people down...
    EmbraceTheEVIL EmbraceTheEVIL 18-21, M 2 Responses Mar 2

    Your Response

    Cancel