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I Want to Cut Myself Now

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 1,590 People

    Our body feels pain to warn us of danger But it

    also reminds us we're alive that it can still feel That's why some of us seek it out while others choose to numb it Solitude has always been my analgesic of choice But what if feeling nothing is the worst pain of all What if sharing pain connects us to others and reminds us...
    Kate197979 Kate197979 36-40, F 1 Response Nov 15, 2014

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    My daemons are screaming at me telling me I

    need to, I want to, I have to. I scream "NO!" Want to put it down but my hand just won't let go
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Jul 4, 2014

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    So tell me, who will help me?

    When it's 4 am and a shaky hand has my blade against my skin.. And all these thoughts rush in. When my streak is no longer there and I'm in a fetal position crying my eyes out. Who will help me.
    UnderTheSleeves UnderTheSleeves 16-17, F 6 Responses Jun 22, 2015

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    I haven't in 5 years

    but I did the other day
    thatonehighguy thatonehighguy 18-21, M 1 Response Aug 18, 2015

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    A Year.... Wasted.

    I promised myself I wouldn't, but the promise really wasn't for me, it was for my little brother. He said "If you cut, I can cut too". So, I promised him, and myself that I would stop. I did. For a whole year. It was tough, REALLY tough, but his love, and his courage got me...
    bbmango16 bbmango16 18-21, F 2 Responses Dec 28, 2012

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    I haven't cut in over 2 years.

    But my "family" is really making me want to relapse.
    Overlookedintrovert Overlookedintrovert 16-17, F 2 Responses Sep 26, 2015

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    I want to tear my arms

    and legs up so bad. Make deep gaping cuts. Maybe I'll end up bleeding out..
    rokrchik1211 rokrchik1211 22-25, F 1 Response Oct 4, 2015

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    I have had a long, hard,

    stressful day. I am drained and just really feel like relapsing
    rokrchik1211 rokrchik1211 22-25, F 3 Responses Aug 8, 2015

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    I have been going down the list,

    and seeing what people have been posting about this and to be honest it does hurt me to read some of them. I see more post from girls then guys and I know to a point the reasons I did it up until about a year ago, were for different reasons, and I am not putting down anybody...
    mlcockrell mlcockrell 36-40, M 2 Responses Feb 24, 2014

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    Best cut is when I close my eyes .

    And just cut three places really fast on wrist. I rather feel the pain outside than in
    officialjaylove officialjaylove 18-21 10 Responses May 5, 2015

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    I broke up with my ex,

    because I wasn't ready to tell anyone about my self harm. We never had a real reason to break up, so I've never really been able to get over him. I saw him the other night and the feelings came back for both of us, but he's supposed to be moving to Australia. He told my friend...
    anon1995 anon1995 18-21, F Jul 8, 2015

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    Shiny is the razorI hold

    now in my handRed is the blood that’s drippingFrom the cuts my skin couldn’t withstandL is for lostThere is no one to understandO is for obliviousBecause my mind is a wastelandS stands for sadnessIt is my daily retort deliberationE obviously represents emotionMine is...
    darkreality68 darkreality68 41-45, M Oct 1, 2015

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    DONT Want to Think About It

    i have those thoughts in my head i have those emotions in my heart i wanna talk i need some1 by my side   they told me many times before " when ever u need me i'll be there " i need them now and i cant find them i feel like cutting my hand and i...
    aysha7 aysha7 18-21, F 9 Responses May 12, 2009

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    cashetty69 cashetty69 51-55, M Aug 25, 2015

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    Would it really even matter

    if I did tear up my skin? It's not like I have anyone anyway...
    rokrchik1211 rokrchik1211 22-25, F 1 Response Oct 20, 2015

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    But I can't disappoint everybody,

    especially him. So what do I do then? Just cry forever I guess.
    reluctantamazon reluctantamazon 36-40, F 4 Responses Sep 14, 2015

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    Everytime I cut I know I disappoint him.

    .. But if I know that cutting is a worse pain then whatever pain someone is causing me then why wouldn't i cut? It tells me if cutting is more painful then that other pain will go away... So I will cut until I know the pain will go away.
    AirSlice AirSlice 18-21, F 1 Response Sep 25, 2015

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    Beautiful

              I'm possessed. My whole life is focused on this one thing: cutting. when I'm not doing it, I'm wondering when i will again, how to hide the scars, the scabs. where am i going to get new bandages, Neosporen, razor blades. I started carrying a blade with me in my...
    screamingsilently screamingsilently 18-21, F 2 Responses Sep 12, 2012

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    I want to cut and be done with everything too

    much to handle havent gone to school in about 2 weeks UGH Hugs?
    NaomiSarah1 NaomiSarah1 22-25, F 6 Responses Jul 13, 2015

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    I just did. Relief from my mind.

    Foolish heart...too old to not know better
    GiannaFlorence GiannaFlorence 36-40, F 2 Responses Aug 10, 2015

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    Cravings

    There are some days, weeks even, where the thoughts of sliding the smooth blade of my knife into my skin flood my head. There's something so satisfying about the pain. The little teardrops of red running over the curve of my wrist. The way my teeth grit, and my eyes plead with me...
    Girlonwire Girlonwire 18-21, F 13 Responses Jul 3, 2011

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    I want to cut so badly.

    ... How do i actually cut though? I can push the blade but my skin is too strong...
    AirSlice AirSlice 18-21, F 3 Responses Aug 25, 2015

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    UGH!! I want to cut right now.

    I get made fun of in school for having autism. This one girl keeps bullying me an hitting me I cant anymore. UGH!!! Holding a razor right now.
    NaomiSarah1 NaomiSarah1 22-25, F 11 Responses Jul 25, 2015

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    I always used to, when I was young.

    Now I feel that I want to rip my skin off. All of it. But I'd rather be dead. That would be so much better for all concerned, especially me. The ideal situation would be if I simply ceased to have ever existed.
    uglyhag uglyhag 46-50, F Aug 22, 2015

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    Some time ago I promised myself I wouldn't cut

    myself with a knife anymore. Last night I broke that promise. According to my promise this means I have a problem with cutting. I thought I could handle it, I thought I could keep my promise but apparently I can't. When I don't use the knife I use a sort of wire. It's less...
    jsualmtha jsualmtha 18-21, F Aug 23, 2015

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    Me Vs Razor

    I sat in my room staring at "my razor blade" for about 10mins feeling so lost'd and having loneliness eatting away at my soul and heart. It was drowing me and couldn't breath. I wanted to cut so bad... But I called my best friend and talk to her about it.. She cried a lot and...
    DarkAngel0309 DarkAngel0309 22-25, F 3 Responses Jan 4, 2013

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    Do not cut yourself! Try instead the sensations

    of being pierced, tattooed and especially scarified. Better looking results and for many a similar release oif tensions!
    deleted deleted 26-30 Aug 25, 2015

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    Its been two days i cant keep it up.

    I really wanna cut and its hard to control this urge. Today wasnt the best of days and I hate myself for it. My parents hate me, im gonna flunk in my courses, and i will never be worth something for anyone to be in a relationship with. Im going to sleep, and i pray i dont wake...
    LifeOnAThread LifeOnAThread 18-21, F 9 Responses Oct 12, 2014

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    Don't. Don't. Don't. Stop it.

    Weak. You are so freaking weak. Get a f**ing grip!! Don't throw it all away. Nothing is wrong. Why do I feel this way???
    NowGoBringMeTheHorizon NowGoBringMeTheHorizon 18-21, F Jul 8, 2014

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    I've been clean all summer.

    But i long to slide a blade over my wrists one more time... One is after all, all it takes.
    deleted deleted 26-30 3 Responses Jul 16, 2015

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    Being yelled at really makes me want to cut.

    My life also really makes me want to cut. And lately it's been difficult to find something that would cut deep and cause a lot of blood shed. Sometimes I feel as if I deserve the pain and blood loss. Sometimes I cry when I cut, other times I don't. I usually use scissors to cut...
    NeonPurple NeonPurple 18-21, F 2 Responses Mar 9, 2014

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    deleted deleted 26-30 5 Responses Sep 3, 2015

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    I haven't cut in maybe 7 months

    but I haven't been taking my meds like I should 😢
    PurpleHart PurpleHart 18-21, F 1 Response Jul 28, 2015

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    Why is everything so ******* depressing?

    Why am I such a failure? I fail...that's why I'm here, to fail and let people down...
    PopulaceInOne PopulaceInOne 18-21, M 1 Response Mar 2, 2015

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    I Hate Myself And Cut For No Reason

    I'm 16. I'm very unsociable and don't like the company of many people. I only have one really good friend, but i go to a really tough school and have to spend most of my time doing homework. I have trouble paying attention to the boring stuff they teach in that awful place, so it...
    invisiblechild0 invisiblechild0 18-21, F 17 Responses Apr 15, 2012

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    It's how I escape from the pain

    for a lil while and right now I really just need to escape. :'(
    rokrchik1211 rokrchik1211 22-25, F 2 Responses Feb 6, 2015

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    Can someone talk to me?

    ??? I'm feeling so alone......
    deleted deleted 26-30 9 Responses Oct 15, 2014

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    I feel alive when I can't sleep

    because of the burning scars -funny enough I punish myself for things other people did to me.
    00Broken00 00Broken00 18-21, F May 10, 2015

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    most of the time I do it to stop the emotional

    pain. Physical pain is alot easier to handle than emotional pain.
    justwannabeehappy justwannabeehappy 36-40, F 3 Responses Aug 18, 2015

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    Here It Goes..

    I don't know what this is.. Or who reads this, but hello! Within the past two weeks, I've started cutting. I haven't cut in four years, but now it's coming back. And the ability to be able to show what I'm feeling on the inside, on the outside, is amazing to me.. I was also...
    MaddelynneJannessa MaddelynneJannessa 18-21, F 14 Responses Oct 18, 2013

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    huntersveil248 huntersveil248 16-17, F 1 Response Sep 26, 2015

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    rokrchik1211 rokrchik1211 22-25, F 1 Response Apr 24, 2015

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    Know The Feeling?

    I feel alone in a room full of people and cutting just sounds so good right now.
    WanderingRanger WanderingRanger 22-25, M 4 Responses Oct 28, 2013

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    I have *never* wanted to cut myself.

    ..I don't get it, maybe someone can explain the reasoning behind it. Does it feel good? Do you recommend it? Is this something I should try?
    myalterego77 myalterego77 36-40, M 4 Responses Aug 26, 2015

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    Mirror mirror on the wall,

    please tell me why i can't stand tall. Mirror mirror in my hand, tell me why they don't understand. Mirror mirror hanging there, why does everything seem unfair... Mirror mirror tell me why, i don't find peace even when i cry. Mirror mirror that's seen me bleed, Can no one help...
    jaynm jaynm 18-21, F 1 Response Aug 10, 2015

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