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I Want to Cut Myself Now

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 2,679 People

    I never in a million years thought I would be

    at the point where I thought hurting myself was the only answer. But I'm there. It is the most real and terrifying thought that has ever crossed my mind. I have never actually done it. I am too afraid of the scars it will leave. But I have started pinching myself so hard that it...
    dressydreamer dressydreamer 18-21, F 6 Responses Mar 10, 2014

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    Its been two days i cant keep it up.

    I really wanna cut and its hard to control this urge. Today wasnt the best of days and I hate myself for it. My parents hate me, im gonna flunk in my courses, and i will never be worth something for anyone to be in a relationship with. Im going to sleep, and i pray i dont wake...
    LifeOnAThread LifeOnAThread 18-21, F 8 Responses Oct 12, 2014

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    It's how I escape from the pain

    for a lil while and right now I really just need to escape. :'(
    rokrchik1211 rokrchik1211 18-21, F 2 Responses Feb 6

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    My daemons are screaming at me telling me I

    need to, I want to, I have to. I scream "NO!" Want to put it down but my hand just won't let go
    Error404nameunknown Error404nameunknown 13-15, F 2 Responses Jul 4, 2014

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    I took off my bracelets

    and saw my scars and my bracelet marks too
    elephant17 elephant17 18-21, F 2 Responses Mar 9

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    4 Am And Its All I Can Think About

    cutting releases endorphins-endorphins relief pain so what do we do when were sad? we cut
    sosick123 sosick123 13-15, F 1 Response Jan 1, 2013

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    Kmarcum99 Kmarcum99 13-15, F 6 Responses Jan 29

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    I crave it i wanna feel the cold blade across

    my pale flesh an watch my ruby blood create a river....maybe then i will be free
    SweetAngelFrostPup SweetAngelFrostPup 16-17, M Feb 19

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    A Year.... Wasted.

    I promised myself I wouldn't, but the promise really wasn't for me, it was for my little brother. He said "If you cut, I can cut too". So, I promised him, and myself that I would stop. I did. For a whole year. It was tough, REALLY tough, but his love, and his courage got me...
    bbmango16 bbmango16 18-21, F 2 Responses Dec 28, 2012

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    I really feel like cutting.

    .. But it may end badly...
    rokrchik1211 rokrchik1211 18-21, F 1 Response Feb 2

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    Great...just great...

    i can't remember where's my blade now....
    anderlr anderlr 13-15, M 9 Responses Feb 12

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    really miss cutting so much.

    😕 that's all I've been thinking about lately..
    ashleygrierrr ashleygrierrr 13-15, F 18 Responses Jun 28, 2014

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    I don't even know why.

    I think seeing the scars and newest cuts on my hip set me off. I just...I don't know!!! Music can only help so much. I want to sit here and scratch at my hip but I can't exactly do that in class. I feel the need to carry my blade with me everyday now, but I don't think I can...
    EmoSakurachan EmoSakurachan 18-21 1 Response May 6, 2014

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    Cravings

    There are some days, weeks even, where the thoughts of sliding the smooth blade of my knife into my skin flood my head. There's something so satisfying about the pain. The little teardrops of red running over the curve of my wrist. The way my teeth grit, and my eyes plead with me...
    Girlonwire Girlonwire 18-21, F 13 Responses Jul 3, 2011

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    Here It Goes..

    I don't know what this is.. Or who reads this, but hello! Within the past two weeks, I've started cutting. I haven't cut in four years, but now it's coming back. And the ability to be able to show what I'm feeling on the inside, on the outside, is amazing to me.. I was also...
    MaddelynneJannessa MaddelynneJannessa 18-21, F 15 Responses Oct 18, 2013

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    Me Vs Razor

    I sat in my room staring at "my razor blade" for about 10mins feeling so lost'd and having loneliness eatting away at my soul and heart. It was drowing me and couldn't breath. I wanted to cut so bad... But I called my best friend and talk to her about it.. She cried a lot and...
    DarkAngel0309 DarkAngel0309 22-25, F 3 Responses Jan 4, 2013

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    Why is everything so ******* depressing?

    Why am I such a failure? I fail...that's why I'm here, to fail and let people down...
    TeethTheSizeOfPianoKeys TeethTheSizeOfPianoKeys 18-21, M 2 Responses Mar 2

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    I lost my razor and was about a good 2 month

    since I have cut myself. I felt like part of myself was missing when I lost it. I sometimes have this urge to cut myself. Then I don't. But I suddenly did. And it felt empty and whole. Like a happy medium. It feels right and yet I know it's so wrong.
    NocturnalMiss23 NocturnalMiss23 26-30, F Feb 27

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    There's no pain anymore,

    I cut and there's no pain, the blood runs down my arm and it's cold, there's no warmth. where do I go to feel??
    crabspanner crabspanner 36-40, M Mar 4

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    I Dont Know Where I Am

    it sucks to know that feeling sad is normal so you're starting to get used to it and no matter what the sadness wont leave. you try so hard but no. it sucks to self-harm almost everyday and nothing can stop you, you want to do it and continue doing it, it feels good. it sucks to...
    karissaxx22 karissaxx22 16-17, F 4 Responses Dec 2, 2012

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    im afraid of being home alone I just have a

    strong urge to cut right now I dont know how long I will last and im so scared of myself and urges I just started trying to quit yesterday
    Crystalsgirl08 Crystalsgirl08 13-15, F 1 Response Feb 17

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    I just don't care anymore.

    I'm starting to not care if people know. If people see. I just don't care. I feel like everyone already judges me and hates me, it wouldn't make a difference. Maybe if they knew, people would actually care. I doubt that though. The more time goes on, the worse it gets. People...
    thoughtfulstars thoughtfulstars 13-15, F 1 Response May 16, 2014

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    i want to cut so deep

    that i see a lot of blood. my flashbacks are ruining my life and i cant be happy anymore
    elephant17 elephant17 18-21, F 2 Responses May 18, 2014

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    I have never self-harmed.

    I have delay with depression for about five years now and this is the first time cutting has ever crossed my mind. I have the sudden urge to do it and I'm very scared. I really don't know what to do.
    Tiledoqueen Tiledoqueen 22-25, F 1 Response Mar 18

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    i cant take everything i hate myself to feel

    the cold blade across my skin see the blood dripping down to get some relief of this daily torment
    givenupforever givenupforever 22-25, F 1 Response Mar 15

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    DONT Want to Think About It

    i have those thoughts in my head i have those emotions in my heart i wanna talk i need some1 by my side   they told me many times before " when ever u need me i'll be there " i need them now and i cant find them i feel like cutting my hand and i...
    aysha7 aysha7 18-21, F 9 Responses May 12, 2009

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    I Hate Myself And Cut For No Reason

    I'm 16. I'm very unsociable and don't like the company of many people. I only have one really good friend, but i go to a really tough school and have to spend most of my time doing homework. I have trouble paying attention to the boring stuff they teach in that awful place, so it...
    invisiblechild0 invisiblechild0 18-21, F 15 Responses Apr 15, 2012

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    anderlr anderlr 13-15, M 2 Responses 2 days ago

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    Sigh. This just isn't getting any easier,

    is it? I'm so tempted to take that nice fresh new blade out of the only pencil sharpener that I have that's never been taken apart... I keep trying to find enough reasons not to cut that it outweighs the crushing desire to do so, but I'm running out of reasons here... :/
    Yourguardianangel9613 Yourguardianangel9613 18-21, F 2 Responses May 6, 2014

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    merrianneyeah merrianneyeah 13-15, F 4 Responses Jun 8, 2014

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    You guys there's a better solution,

    if you guys ever need someone to talk to I'm here.
    lilay98 lilay98 18-21, F 3 Responses Jun 24, 2014

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    I have been going down the list,

    and seeing what people have been posting about this and to be honest it does hurt me to read some of them. I see more post from girls then guys and I know to a point the reasons I did it up until about a year ago, were for different reasons, and I am not putting down anybody...
    mlcockrell mlcockrell 36-40, M 2 Responses Feb 24, 2014

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    There is so much **** going on with me.

    That and i done some vary ******* wrong things i feel like i deserve that pain
    Frozenfireflies Frozenfireflies 13-15, M 4 Responses Jul 12, 2014

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    I have been clean for about 7 months.

    Ive had this missing cutting feeling for the whole time but like the past couple weeks I've been like CRAVING IT. Like my body's GONNA die without it and ands making me go crazy. I mean I'm trying not to but it's hard and all I wanna do is cut but I know if I go down that road...
    jess965 jess965 13-15, F 1 Response Mar 15

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    Our body feels pain to warn us of danger But it

    also reminds us we're alive that it can still feel That's why some of us seek it out while others choose to numb it Solitude has always been my analgesic of choice But what if feeling nothing is the worst pain of all What if sharing pain connects us to others and reminds us...
    Kate197979 Kate197979 31-35, F 1 Response Nov 15, 2014

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    Can someone talk to me?

    ??? I'm feeling so alone......
    Cocosavethetatas Cocosavethetatas 22-25, F 9 Responses Oct 15, 2014

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    I was caught cutting

    and had no option but to stop. I'm 41 days clean and I am so triggered. I'm going insane, I really need to cut. I just don't know where. I can't cut on my wrist otherwise they'll catch me again. I'm just way too scared that they might find out again. It was bad enough the first...
    smgasf smgasf 18-21, F 1 Response Mar 8

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    jackalfredthegr8 jackalfredthegr8 13-15, M 2 Responses Jan 17

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    I hate myself for being

    so needy. so clingy. I feel so stupid for... being me. I dont want to be alone... but maybe I really am a bad girlfriend. Im trying not to cut but... I feel like I need to punish myself.
    Bigcat1697 Bigcat1697 16-17, F 2 Responses 3 days ago

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    It's been 8 months. I still haven't had the

    guts to throw my blades away, they're like my safety blanket, always there when I need them, but I've been doing well anyway. Especially when you consider what I have had to deal with in these 8 months. I was diagnosed with a chronic illness (POTS) and wasn't able to leave the...
    anon1995 anon1995 18-21, F 6 days ago

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    It's been 3 years. I want to

    so bad. My skins practically itchy I wanna see the white flesh. The way it splits. First pink then white then full of blood. Flayed open. It'll take me away. Distract me from how alone I feel. I want to so bad But I'm afraid no one will love me if I do. And I'll be even...
    thebeautifulprincess thebeautifulprincess 18-21, F 1 Response Feb 20

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    I finally tell them and they dont believe it I

    show them proof they still dont and they block me over it...hes always gonna get what he wants and say what he wants to me and they wont care because they dont believe hes like that...he egs me on into cutting and tonight ill break and take it to my arms and they wont see...
    lostbrokeheart lostbrokeheart 18-21, F 3 Responses 2 days ago

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    Know The Feeling?

    I feel alone in a room full of people and cutting just sounds so good right now.
    WanderingRanger WanderingRanger 22-25, M 4 Responses Oct 28, 2013

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    I've been clean for a few weeks

    but i feel like that's all i can turn to, the razor blade.
    Hailey7685 Hailey7685 13-15, F 2 Responses Mar 8

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    Just now all I want to do us cut,

    I don't ask much of anyone but this time I was hoping for someone to talk to me.....and no one is interested all I need is someone to talk to, so I forget about the urge to cut. And it's like no one gives a damn So I think there's only one thing for it And give up......
    Chesher Chesher 18-21, M 1 Response Jan 26

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    homesickbaby homesickbaby 18-21, F 3 Responses Feb 26

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    Beautiful

              I'm possessed. My whole life is focused on this one thing: cutting. when I'm not doing it, I'm wondering when i will again, how to hide the scars, the scabs. where am i going to get new bandages, Neosporen, razor blades. I started carrying a blade with me in my...
    screamingsilently screamingsilently 18-21, F 2 Responses Sep 12, 2012