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I Want to Cut Myself Now

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 2,737 People

    4 Am And Its All I Can Think About

    cutting releases endorphins-endorphins relief pain so what do we do when were sad? we cut
    sosick123 sosick123 13-15, F 1 Response Jan 1, 2013

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    I've been clean for two months,

    but honestly I don't want to be anymore, I need to, or at least I feel like I need to, I just need it ti stop, I need to feel okay again at least for a little while. I know I should think of what'll happen if I cut again after this long clean (longest clean I've been in three...
    irishlassy98 irishlassy98 16-17, F 2 Responses Apr 13

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    not even going out on a Friday.

    not been to work can't face anything. FML
    CheatingTracy CheatingTracy 22-25, F 4 Responses Mar 6

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    rokrchik1211 rokrchik1211 18-21, F 1 Response Apr 24

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    It's been 8 months. I still haven't had the

    guts to throw my blades away, they're like my safety blanket, always there when I need them, but I've been doing well anyway. Especially when you consider what I have had to deal with in these 8 months. I was diagnosed with a chronic illness (POTS) and wasn't able to leave the...
    anon1995 anon1995 18-21, F Mar 22

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    I hate myself for being

    so needy. so clingy. I feel so stupid for... being me. I dont want to be alone... but maybe I really am a bad girlfriend. Im trying not to cut but... I feel like I need to punish myself.
    Bigcat1697 Bigcat1697 16-17, F 1 Response Mar 25

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    I have been going down the list,

    and seeing what people have been posting about this and to be honest it does hurt me to read some of them. I see more post from girls then guys and I know to a point the reasons I did it up until about a year ago, were for different reasons, and I am not putting down anybody...
    mlcockrell mlcockrell 36-40, M 2 Responses Feb 24, 2014

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    Every day I have to fight the urge to cut

    myself. I can feel myself slowly giving in though. I've worked so hard to be clean for this long. I just miss it, it felt so good. I don't want to give in but I do at the same time
    Poisonedmystery Poisonedmystery 13-15, F 1 Response 2 days ago

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    I Dont Know Where I Am

    it sucks to know that feeling sad is normal so you're starting to get used to it and no matter what the sadness wont leave. you try so hard but no. it sucks to self-harm almost everyday and nothing can stop you, you want to do it and continue doing it, it feels good. it sucks to...
    karissaxx22 karissaxx22 16-17, F 4 Responses Dec 2, 2012

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    merrianneyeah merrianneyeah 13-15, F 4 Responses Jun 8, 2014

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    I took off my bracelets

    and saw my scars and my bracelet marks too
    elephant17 elephant17 18-21, F 2 Responses Mar 9

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    Im trying to fight the urge right now.

    .. stupid addiction, wish i never started.
    Nick54 Nick54 18-21, M 2 days ago

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    A Year.... Wasted.

    I promised myself I wouldn't, but the promise really wasn't for me, it was for my little brother. He said "If you cut, I can cut too". So, I promised him, and myself that I would stop. I did. For a whole year. It was tough, REALLY tough, but his love, and his courage got me...
    bbmango16 bbmango16 18-21, F 2 Responses Dec 28, 2012

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    i cant take everything i hate myself to feel

    the cold blade across my skin see the blood dripping down to get some relief of this daily torment
    givenupforever givenupforever 22-25, F 1 Response Mar 15

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    Urges, urges. Seeing my scars fade is

    such a huge trigger, it makes me want to remake them. I'm 16 days clean, I miss it. I think I'll take a shower and eat something and take a nap. *******, I wish I hadn't ever started.
    Colourfi Colourfi 13-15, T 1 Response Apr 2

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    Best cut is when I close my eyes .

    And just cut three places really fast on wrist. I rather feel the pain outside than in
    officialjaylove officialjaylove 18-21 11 Responses May 5

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    I run my fingers across my skin ,

    its so smooth All I want to do is destroy it . Its the first time I have wanted to do it in about two weeks . I get episodes like this . one minute im very happy the other im very depressed .
    devilgirl123zombie devilgirl123zombie 16-17, F 4 Responses Apr 26

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    I have a heart condition,

    so my family, cardiologist and I all agreed that I should take a break from uni and work for a year, until I am well enough to go back. Now they make me feel like **** because I don't do anything with my day. They keep asking why I'm stressed. Maybe because this year I've had...
    anon1995 anon1995 18-21, F May 14

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    I finally tell them and they dont believe it I

    show them proof they still dont and they block me over it...hes always gonna get what he wants and say what he wants to me and they wont care because they dont believe hes like that...he egs me on into cutting and tonight ill break and take it to my arms and they wont see...
    lostbrokeheart lostbrokeheart 18-21, F 3 Responses Mar 26

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    Can someone talk to me?

    ??? I'm feeling so alone......
    Cocosavethetatas Cocosavethetatas 22-25, F 9 Responses Oct 15, 2014

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    i promised my best friend

    that i wouldnt cut myself and im 26 days clean but i just feel so empty and sad and terrible and idk i feel like cutting is the only way that i can take care of myself.
    bandsth0 bandsth0 13-15, F 3 Responses Apr 17

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    Okay bye I'm going to go cut myself I'm sorry

    Alexa but my feelings are hurt and I want the pain to go away
    butterflybaby123 butterflybaby123 13-15 1 Response Apr 16

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    I never in a million years thought I would be

    at the point where I thought hurting myself was the only answer. But I'm there. It is the most real and terrifying thought that has ever crossed my mind. I have never actually done it. I am too afraid of the scars it will leave. But I have started pinching myself so hard that it...
    dressydreamer dressydreamer 18-21, F 7 Responses Mar 10, 2014

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    Any one has a razor .

    i really need to cut myself and see my blood . I am sick of always hurting myself from inside if I can't stop myself from inside I will do it on the outside.
    Silentsuffer Silentsuffer 13-15, F Apr 4, 2014

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    i want to cut so deep

    that i see a lot of blood. my flashbacks are ruining my life and i cant be happy anymore
    elephant17 elephant17 18-21, F 2 Responses May 18, 2014

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    I really really want to cut.

    I ****** this guy today and he started getting a little to rough so I told him I was done and to stop but he didn't listen. I kept telling him to stop but he wouldn't. Then when he was done I tried to leave but it took a long time before he would let me leave. He held me down so...
    monstertrainwreck monstertrainwreck 18-21, F 2 Responses Apr 19

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    Its been two days i cant keep it up.

    I really wanna cut and its hard to control this urge. Today wasnt the best of days and I hate myself for it. My parents hate me, im gonna flunk in my courses, and i will never be worth something for anyone to be in a relationship with. Im going to sleep, and i pray i dont wake...
    LifeOnAThread LifeOnAThread 18-21, F 9 Responses Oct 12, 2014

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    Screw pretending to be happy.

    This is EP. I can be as depressing and miserable as I want. I can't stand this. I want to slash my arm open but I can't because I have to pretend to be fine. I have to wake up each day and smile and laugh and make jokes and act like the happiest freaking kid alive when all I...
    kaleidoscopic21 kaleidoscopic21 13-15, F 7 Responses Mar 21

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    I've gained an addiction to cutting,

    and now I HAVE to do it whether I'm sad or angry or even happy at times, when the urge hits me no matter where I am or who's around I have to do it. I do, do it.
    Tamika123 Tamika123 16-17, F 3 Responses May 9, 2014

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    Beautiful

              I'm possessed. My whole life is focused on this one thing: cutting. when I'm not doing it, I'm wondering when i will again, how to hide the scars, the scabs. where am i going to get new bandages, Neosporen, razor blades. I started carrying a blade with me in my...
    screamingsilently screamingsilently 18-21, F 2 Responses Sep 12, 2012

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    school is really stressing me out.

    im feeling overwhelmed and im getting mad at myself and im having all these thoughts to just take my anger out on myself and just cut. i feel like giving up on life but i dont want to take the easy way out. i feel like complete crap. i really dont know whats wrong with me. i...
    perksofbeingdepressed perksofbeingdepressed 16-17, F 7 Responses Jan 28

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    I was caught cutting

    and had no option but to stop. I'm 41 days clean and I am so triggered. I'm going insane, I really need to cut. I just don't know where. I can't cut on my wrist otherwise they'll catch me again. I'm just way too scared that they might find out again. It was bad enough the first...
    smgasf smgasf 18-21, F 1 Response Mar 8

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    I have been clean for about 7 months.

    Ive had this missing cutting feeling for the whole time but like the past couple weeks I've been like CRAVING IT. Like my body's GONNA die without it and ands making me go crazy. I mean I'm trying not to but it's hard and all I wanna do is cut but I know if I go down that road...
    jess965 jess965 13-15, F 1 Response Mar 15

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    I've been clean for a few weeks

    but i feel like that's all i can turn to, the razor blade.
    Hailey7685 Hailey7685 13-15, F 2 Responses Mar 8

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    I am so angry at myself.

    I have been cutting and enjoy it. it makes me feel more satisfied with my self-loathing.
    XxautychanxX XxautychanxX 13-15, F 3 Responses May 10

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    My daemons are screaming at me telling me I

    need to, I want to, I have to. I scream "NO!" Want to put it down but my hand just won't let go
    Error404nameunknown Error404nameunknown 13-15, F 2 Responses Jul 4, 2014

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    really miss cutting so much.

    😕 that's all I've been thinking about lately..
    ashleygrierrr ashleygrierrr 13-15, F 18 Responses Jun 28, 2014

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    I wanna cut myself now.

    ...I messed up on so much I thought I knew things thought I had it figured out turns out I was all wrong and things r worser then what they seem
    lostbrokeheart lostbrokeheart 18-21, F 1 Response Apr 6

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    Cravings

    There are some days, weeks even, where the thoughts of sliding the smooth blade of my knife into my skin flood my head. There's something so satisfying about the pain. The little teardrops of red running over the curve of my wrist. The way my teeth grit, and my eyes plead with me...
    Girlonwire Girlonwire 18-21, F 13 Responses Jul 3, 2011

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    jackalfredthegr8 jackalfredthegr8 13-15, M 2 Responses Jan 17

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    There's always moments like this

    where I just have the incredible urge to cut myself. Thanks family. I love you too.
    PrincessPolarBear PrincessPolarBear 16-17, F 2 Responses Apr 5

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    Why is everything so ******* depressing?

    Why am I such a failure? I fail...that's why I'm here, to fail and let people down...
    ComeDieWithMe ComeDieWithMe 18-21, M 1 Response Mar 2

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    Here It Goes..

    I don't know what this is.. Or who reads this, but hello! Within the past two weeks, I've started cutting. I haven't cut in four years, but now it's coming back. And the ability to be able to show what I'm feeling on the inside, on the outside, is amazing to me.. I was also...
    MaddelynneJannessa MaddelynneJannessa 18-21, F 14 Responses Oct 18, 2013

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    Our body feels pain to warn us of danger But it

    also reminds us we're alive that it can still feel That's why some of us seek it out while others choose to numb it Solitude has always been my analgesic of choice But what if feeling nothing is the worst pain of all What if sharing pain connects us to others and reminds us...
    Kate197979 Kate197979 31-35, F 1 Response Nov 15, 2014

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    I feel alive when I can't sleep

    because of the burning scars -funny enough I punish myself for things other people did to me.
    00Broken00 00Broken00 18-21, F May 10

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    Just one, from my wrist to my elbow.

    That sounds like a fantastic idea.
    kimberlykhaos kimberlykhaos 22-25, F 6 Responses Apr 2

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