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I Want to Die

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 1,661 People

    steff77 steff77 31-35, F 7 Responses May 11

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    The feeling I am feeling at the pres time.

    I just want to die. though I have no desire in killing my self. Just lot of ****** up decisions that apparently hurting the ones I love big time. I just wanna die cause i am sick of hurting people. I am sick of feeling like i am the bad one. seam I love you and believe me I am...
    BrattyAngel BrattyAngel 31-35, F 2 Responses Jul 22

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    For as long as I can remember I have wanted to

    die. As a child I was ostracized by my peers because out my appearance and clothes. At 8 I found a group who would accept me: this is when I started messing with alcohol, marijuana and cocaine. By 10 I was an alcoholic, an addict, having intercourse daily and causing as much...
    fallenwhispers fallenwhispers 36-40, M Sep 23

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    It's funny, I always prided myself on being the

    person in my family who wants to live. I've always promised my mom that I would never do something like that. Funny how quickly things like that can change. There's a long history of mental illness in my family, and I'm not the exception. I'm 16 now, but at 14, I was checked...
    tiredofthisplace tiredofthisplace 18-21, F 2 Responses Sep 6

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    Not very many people know this,

    but I am depressed. I tend to keep it hidden from everyone around me very well. People will tell you that I'm always so positive and upbeat or that I'm really goofy and always smiling. The truth is though, I hate myself. I'm not really proud of any of my accomplishments or the...
    maulerrr maulerrr 18-21, M 1 Response Feb 27

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    Sometimes

    I've seen this happen in other peoples lives.. now its happening in mine....:blink:
    Cosreal Cosreal 26-30, F 4 Responses Jul 28, 2013

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    After 18 years of suffering,

    I just want to end it all. I'm 30, single, and have no friends. I have a host of psych problems from a lot of bad things happening to me. I always hear bad things happen to good people. I must not be a good person, when it keeps happening. I've tried to kill myself many times...
    kaukusaki kaukusaki 26-30 Sep 13

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    34, male, no kids, single,

    straight, smoke, no drugs or alcohol. Never medicated. I'm fairly decent looking. I'm the same gender I was born. There's nothing about my physical self that would prevent me from living a full and successful life. I can hold a job. I'm a very much competent person. My problems...
    Dudustain Dudustain 31-35, M 3 Responses Jun 4

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    Not a Matter of If, So Much As When...

    I came to EP to look for those like me.  I started a group called 'I am feeling suicidal' but then found this group. I have decided to end my life, I only have to wait for the oprotune moment.  After 11 years of wanting to end it all, I have finally decided I'm going...
    Void Void 22-25 30 Responses Sep 30, 2008

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    I'm coming close to completing the twenty-first

    year of my life. I've already been kicked out of college once... Went back, and dropped out. I haven't taken my education seriously since I was in my early teens. I pushed myself to take one class in the upcoming fall semester, but I am not excited in the least. To give...
    witewhillow witewhillow 18-21, F Aug 19

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    I know that there are

    so many out there who are worst off theb me, who have a lot more **** going on, & I know its stupid to want to die when so many are wishing/hoping for just one more day, but its the truth. I want to die. I want to go to sleep and never wake up. I wannt to have the courage to...
    SouthernBella89 SouthernBella89 22-25, F 5 days ago

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    I've recently been taken advantage of by

    so many people and I can't take it anymore. I just want to die. There is way too much to write in a post, perhaps I just don't want to relive it all in writing. I actually wrote a short suicide letter today. I love my family, friends, and boyfriend. I just can't deal with life...
    whatdoidonext whatdoidonext 22-25, F 1 Response Sep 20

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    Its All I Want

    i find no joy in anything anymore depressed yes been that way for years but find that as i get older its getting worse and i just feel like giving up i cant work cause i cant sleep and if i do sleep i dont want to ever wake up it seems like everyone i talk to doesnt understand...
    whoooty whoooty 31-35, F 3 Responses Dec 20, 2012

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    I've asked for help from friends

    and family, after I've tried twice to kill myself all I want is the pain to stop, being around people doesn't help, I just want to be on my own and left to die
    Sid8481 Sid8481 31-35, F 5 Responses Dec 25, 2013

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    Yes, this thought often rules me.

    Specially after having a fight with my mother. Being the person i trusted more than anyone else in the world.. when you know that everything she told you from your very childhood were lies.. and she knows that those were lies.. Being the person whom u loved most... and...
    ShadowlessSoul ShadowlessSoul 31-35, F Sep 11

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    There's nothing left

    for me in this world. Couple of years ago it was confirmed by the doctor that I had severe depression and a lot of stress, causing me migraines. My mother and brother didn't believe me when I told them. They thought I was just joking around. That led to me becoming ill. I couldn...
    heaven94 heaven94 18-21, F 1 Response Aug 11

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    The most frustrating part about the way I feel

    is that I don't understand why...?! I have a family who loves and supports me. Friends who I can lean on and talk to. A boyfriend who knows just what to say. A job. A roof over my head. and most importantly, a million things to live for.....but I can't help but feel like dying...
    missmichigan21 missmichigan21 18-21, F 3 Responses Aug 10

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    Goodbye!

    I am leaving this group! I will Still comment on the stories here, since I am subsrcibed to this group, but I no longer am going to be a member of this group, because I don't want to die. I know that I want to live. And by leaving this group, I can see more clearly...
    deleted deleted 26-30 3 Responses Dec 9, 2009

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    Not that I am depressed

    or anything. I just feel how meaningless being alive is It does not make a difference whether u are alive or dead. After reading dan brown's inferno and writing an essay on human overpopulation, the thought of dying in me grew stronger. I wouldn't go ahead and take my own...
    YongTauFoo YongTauFoo 18-21, F 3 Responses Oct 4

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    Did You Come Here To Die? No, I Came Here Yester-Die.

    So goes the old joke. I'm just trying to deflect from the emptiness and despair I feel inside. For those of you sufficiently worried about me, thank you for your concern. I don't suppose I'll do anything about it, haven't got whatever it takes to do it for some reason (some...
    mizzen123 mizzen123 46-50, M 7 Responses May 19, 2013

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    i am Ethan Shefland i will be moving into a

    flat by my self withing a week and i want to die if anyone would like to help me i will b e soon living at flat 15 at 5 Old Brewery House, Potter Street Worksop Notts and anyone who wants my few possessions can help themselfs to them
    EthanShefland EthanShefland 26-30, M 1 Response 5 days ago

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    Yes And No

    When I look at my life and myself, I see that death is the most reasonable way for me. I'm really too stupid, useless and too... soft for this cruel world. So, I look at myself, then at this world and I'm... really terrified. There is NO way I could survive here... that's the...
    deleted deleted 26-30 6 Responses Jul 13, 2013

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    I'm 20 failed high school,

    didn't go to college(most of my friends if not all are all in university) I've always been stupid since a young age, never got A's. My grades are always low. I felt ashamed and didn't want to tell the truth to my parents because they will be disappointed. What is WORSE is that I...
    Abdulaziz94 Abdulaziz94 18-21, M Aug 28

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    Kill Me Naaoo!!

    http://www.experienceproject.com/stories/Have-A-Dog/1605717 Why?! Just Why?! Im scarred for life..kill me nao! :(
    Floydian Floydian 22-25, M 9 Responses Aug 10, 2011

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    I want to die.. I don't want to feel pain

    anymore.. I am so tired of being alone.. I am so tired of being left behind.. I am so tired of being scolded for something I didn't do.. I am tired of crying.. I am tired of feeling worthless.. I am so tired and want to rest. I'm so tired of being tired. I cared. I'm hurt. I...
    petalsxxx petalsxxx 18-21, F 5 Responses Aug 1

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    I Wish I Could

    I am afraid of the pain. I know it shouldn't be long, but what if something goes wrong? How do you stop what you started? I want to find the courage, and I look for it every day. It is all becoming too much to handle.
    antina9056 antina9056 36-40, F 5 Responses Feb 11, 2013

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    I want to know that there will be more in my

    life from here on. I want to know that there is a point to living. My family and friends may love me but they can't see my pain and cries for help. I have been thinking it for months "I want to end everything" "I don't know if I can go on." "What is going to be in my future that...
    battlefighter battlefighter 18-21, F 3 Responses Aug 27

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    My life just ******* sucks.

    Can I just ******* die?
    fallenangel901 fallenangel901 18-21, F 1 day ago

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    Yeah I Am Here....

    I am here. I am in this groupd. I joined a while ago, but I never wrote the story. Tonight I can write a story to this group, because its how I am feeling. I just want to die. Escape from all this pain and suffering. Escape it all, and not have to feel this pain. I...
    deleted deleted 26-30 3 Responses Nov 5, 2009

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    This Might Help You

    There was a time in my life when the title of this group applied to me. There was a time when I would wake up and lay in bed for hours afterwards, just wishing I could return the bliss of slumber. There was a time when I would miss classes, meals, showers, and even interviews...
    GiantKaiju GiantKaiju 22-25, M 3 Responses Mar 29, 2013

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    Each and every evening I see myself

    as such a monster, cursed, corrupt, and crumbling, fit only for petty loathing and an endless sense of dread. Dawn however is another story. Whereby, even If I do not know you, I will smile...
    thewickedjoke thewickedjoke 31-35, M 1 Response Aug 23

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    I Really Want To Go

    Away from this place I hate being alive . I hate being me I hate the person I am Its never enough, My best is never good enough theres nothing in this world for me to do It doesnt make a difference if I'm here or not
    bleu2ooth bleu2ooth 26-30, F 4 Responses May 26, 2011

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    I have spent my entire life suffering from

    depression and anxiety. I have drug, alcohol and gambling addiction because I need to escape at all costs. My personal dictionary describes words as follows: Sex - something other people have. Friends -people I have to pretend to be someone else around Family - Tireless critics...
    sammysadness sammysadness 36-40, M 2 Responses Aug 28

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    I really want to die.

    I think about death all the time. I've tried therapy and pills. Nothing works. I'm just too cowardly to actually pull it off. I hope that one day I will be able to let go of my cowardice and end my pain once and for all.
    ihatemylife08 ihatemylife08 18-21, F Sep 2

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    I'm Done

    I am disabled. I have been since birth. i was in college had a sports career wheelchair basketball a wife carrying a child and a 3.5 gpa i lost it all. i witnessed my friends get murdered my wife fell because she was trying to keep me from falling and lost our child we are no...
    dman091 dman091 18-21, M 21 Responses May 14, 2011

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    :/

    I have not been in this dark of a place in a really long time, I really can't remember the last time, where I sat in the dark room, and had these kind of thoughts. It has been a while since i had these thoughts, the only thing that stopped me last time, was a good friend of mine...
    deleted deleted 26-30 Nov 1, 2012

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    I want to die so bad i don't want to live

    anymore. ive been feeling like this since my freshmen year in high school. I always think that if i die, people would be some much more happier with life. i always thought that i only have a handful people that would care. the reason of me dying is because of my mother...
    khyrah khyrah 22-25, F 2 Responses May 18

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    I don't enjoy living any more.

    I am getting closer and closer to jumping off that bridge near where I live.
    sen017 sen017 22-25, F 4 Responses Sep 13

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    Losing My Best Friend

    I was 19 and my best friend was a girl called Angela. We did everything together and one day I noticed she was acting really strange. I asked her and she said she was fine. I let it go and forgot about it. Next day at collage I seen her walk around a corner with a couple of girl...
    xxScarletxxx xxScarletxxx 18-21 3 Responses Oct 17, 2013

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    Harvey Bodine died at 11:09,

    and he left behind a miserable wife. At 11:14 his heart came back on the screen. Thanks to that defib machine, he came back to life. Oh but those five minutes were heaven, a peace unlike he'd ever known and as he came back to the living he thought "Please God, don't make me go...
    farmertann farmertann 18-21, M 2 Responses Jul 28

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    Too Lonley For Too Long

    I am 38 years old I have never been married, never had sex, its been many years since I have ever felt love.  Today I burried my Grandfather, as I was at the funeral I looked around at my brother's, Sister's and cusions at their wives, children and realized how lonley I...
    LonelyVirgin LonelyVirgin 36-40, M 9 Responses Nov 20, 2007

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    I've Been Told the Definition of Insanity Is Doing the Same Thing Over and Over and Expecting a Different Result

    For a couple years now I have thought about committing suicide. I am 22 year old college student and I am tired. I am tired of being tired. I am so tired that I no longer want to give the effort for me to succeed in society. I am tired of having to prove myself even though I...
    Tenbatsu Tenbatsu 22-25, M 30 Responses Jul 11, 2008

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    I hate how disgusting this world is

    and I want to die. If you really open your eyes, you’ll see that the world will not change unless we do. But I can’t do it alone. But also, not everyone will be simultaneously up for it. I never believed in people because everyone just looks out for their own. Not for the...
    clawrist clawrist 18-21, F 4 Responses Jun 19

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    i hate myself...i hate everything

    and everyone.... i couldnt reach my aim...everything is finished for me...im done with my life...i want to die...
    00roshana00 00roshana00 18-21, F 16 Responses Aug 2

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    "Love Is The Answer"

    There are times, when I really feel like death would be a luxury, an end to the constant inner turmoil and suffering, but at times like this morning, when my room was spinning out of control, and I could only stagger to walk, I DID NOT WANT TO DIE. This makes me realize that when...
    Carissimi Carissimi 56-60, F 3 Responses Feb 19, 2012

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    End It All

    sometimes I just want to die. i don't feel that this life is worth living I have nothing and no one I am all alone and my life has fallen completely apart. What is the point of living?
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Nov 14, 2013

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    No One Cares

    no body would care if i died and i dont think anyone cares about me now. everyone seems to be going against me lately and its making me to the point that i dont wont to live. i got over suicide before but now i think i want to start back doing it. i have no live or future.
    AnikiMomo AnikiMomo 18-21 18 Responses Jun 1, 2007

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    What do you do when the only thing you knew you

    ever wanted for certain, the only thing you ever dreamed of, the only thing you ever ached to be...is yanked away from you? When the mere thought of it just became so unattainable that it makes your heart tremble? Maybe that's my heart condition. Maybe it's just me. Maybe it...
    LovelessBlue LovelessBlue 18-21, F 2 Responses Oct 2

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    I am not depressed, juz fed up on a lot of

    things. I wish I have never been born. My mum always complain about how troublesome it is to raise kids and how my dad is being mean to her. I told her she is stupid. Don't marry and don't give birth to any children and u can go ahead and live your dream life. Save me and...
    YongTauFoo YongTauFoo 18-21, F 1 Response Oct 6

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    It's 4 month now since the last time I thought

    about death and ending everything....my husband want a divorce he said he don't love me anymore .... but I can't ...I just love him so much ...We've been together for 10 years ....He is my first love and my only love....I know this is lame but I'm dying without him so why dont I...
    ffdp84 ffdp84 26-30, F 3 Responses Aug 30

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    1sososad 1sososad 46-50, M 1 Response Aug 8

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    Deluhi

    Nothing is getting better. In fact, it's spiraling out of control and getting worse. I can't help anyone or myself. I'm useless and can't do anything that has a purpose. Pain is brought upon others by my continuation of life and I can't take it anymore.
    Toukos Toukos 18-21 3 Responses Feb 21, 2013

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    I already considered that,

    but this is too reckless, dying is just an escape, and I need to face my fate, I need to face the problems and solve it.. Unfortunately, I don't have a clue on how to do that. I have gotten over many obstacles in my life, yet I can't get over that.. I am trapped, I need to get...
    Idonotcareanymore Idonotcareanymore 18-21 Sep 13

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