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I Want to Disappear and Start Over

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 508 People

    I Want To Leave But I'm Frightened

    I just feel like I've gotten in over my head and I just want peace. I want calm and maybe a little peace of mind. I realized that I'm living and dying by the smallest minutia of my job, when I know there has to be a calmer and more true life out there somewhere. I don't want the...
    somerandomnamegirl somerandomnamegirl 36-40 4 Responses Jun 15, 2012

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    I want to go far away

    and change everything about me. my name, my personality. I'm an actor, i know i can do it. itll get easier after a little while. then maybe i might be worth something
    rowanoaks rowanoaks 16-17, T Feb 19

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    They'd Be Better Off

    I constantly yearn for something new and different.  It seems to be a cycle of my life.  I find something/someone worthwhile and everything goes extremely well for a period of time.  Then, suddenly, I have these uncontrollable urges to change everything. ...
    jarmstrong jarmstrong 22-25 2 Responses Sep 16, 2009

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    Click My Heels Three Times.....

    One...Two...Three.... I am sitting here eyes closed hopeing that I can be someone eles. Someone that no one knows. I want to be something new. I want to be... not me. To be pretty. To be smarter. Happier. Really I would be find if I was dumb and ugly, s long as I was happier, to...
    Geinger Geinger 16-17, F 1 Response Nov 25, 2011

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    Its All Bad

    I WANT TO DISAPPEAR AND START OVER ............ From the city i live now and the city 2 hrs from here where i lived for 5 yrs tbefore here is nothing but bad memories.wouldnt you want to get away.it starts going down hill in the city 2hrs away i started drinking as teenagers do...
    jen840005 jen840005 26-30 1 Response Dec 19, 2010

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    What If....

    what if you were to just book a ticket on a credit card to anywhere in america and walk out of the airport at the other side. what happens next? get a taxi but to where? a hotel but for how long. how would you find work with no social security number or ID. If you found work it...
    steven1105 steven1105 31-35, M 4 Responses Sep 8, 2009

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    The Sky

    I've taken a great appreciation to the beautiful sky. The blues an whites and im in love with the darks and grays. The purples and pinks, all of it. I realized all my life I've never knew what home was. When I cry I say I want to go home, but I'm already there so eventually I...
    KoEatsCookies KoEatsCookies 18-21, F 1 Response Sep 5, 2013

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    i don't want to talk to anyone sometimes just

    drawing myself in music i need to be alone sometimes and i want to disappear....completely just saying
    juryandrews juryandrews 31-35, F 1 Response Jan 13

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    I am panicking. I am livid,

    seeing red. I'm so fed up with the same stresses, over and over, when I'm not even the keeper of the keys to this cage. I'm not claiming to be smarter than you; I just clearly see the solution to our problem. I see how we can rise above this, together. I offer up my own willing...
    designbycassandra designbycassandra 31-35, F 1 Response Feb 11, 2014

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    Help,i'm Scared

    i live where i work,i runa a 1/2 way house.i have taken this place from complete disaray,to a nice,conservative,clean,place for people with aoda,and mental health issues.my boss,is the type of person,where nothing is right.he yells,screams,the phycological,and mental abuse are...
    rka111 rka111 36-40, M 3 Responses Oct 5, 2011

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    Leave This Life, This State, This Country

    I wish I could leave everything behind, go to another country and start my life anew. I know that I would leave my family. But, right now, it don't matter. I would give up everything, even my marriage, to start fresh.
    Chubbybellyluvr Chubbybellyluvr 36-40, M Jun 21, 2013

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    Starting Over

    I feel I've made so many mistakes in the past - a bad marriage, indifferent jobs that I hated to go to... now I've finally got the job of my dreams with a really nice boss and I'm apathetic once again - this started with my previous job - which I hated. And now I am ruining...
    Krajbord Krajbord 51-55 2 Responses May 7, 2013

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    No Real Friends

    I've got no close friends at all. Most of my friends are using me. They lie. They all do. I know, but I never say it out. I wish I could get any, for at least a single day.
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Aug 2, 2013

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    Is There A Way To Just Get Out Of Here?

    I know I'm very young, but I'm extremely unhappy with the way my life is. I have a habit of not treating everyone as I should, so in turn, I get treated badly. It's all my fault because I'm the one who starts the argument that essentially causes me to feel bad about myself. Why...
    TryingToGoOn TryingToGoOn 18-21, F Aug 18, 2013

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    Just Want To Start Over

    I just want to start my life over i really messed up this time my wife,kids,family its all a mess i dont know
    JADA111 JADA111 36-40 1 Response Mar 3, 2011

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    The Middle Of Nowhere

    Some times i feel like climbing a bus to anywhere and start a new life doing whatever.
    mariarjoseph mariarjoseph 22-25 Sep 30, 2010

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    My life is crumbling down .

    I pray to god a lot and feel as if he has given up on me . I've been battling depression my whole life and it is like I'm trapped inside my own brain , I might have a mental illness . Any guy I fall in love with someone I mess it up with my crazy ways and lose them forever . My...
    byrae byrae 18-21, F 2 Responses Nov 29, 2013

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    Pseudocide. It is a word

    that is both beautiful and frightening. Pseudocide: the death of identity, the cessation of the self. For years-- at least half my life-- it has been an ever-present secret desire, patiently growing in my heart. I long to vanish, to recreate myself, to feel the exhilarating...
    WildMagic WildMagic 26-30, F 2 Responses Sep 3, 2014

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    Just A Thought, Well...just In-case

    I've had this thought before not too long ago. I just wonder what would happen if I disappear. Would I be missed? Would anyone look for me besides my family? Would somebody care if I'd be here one day and gone the next? I don't mean ending my own life...I'm not geared...
    indelible indelible 26-30 Jan 11, 2011

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    Invisible Scars

    I may smile and look happy most of the time but no one knows that when depression hits you everything falls down on you. no one sees these invisible scars, no one can feel your pain all you can do is just hide it and bring pain to cover the pain... doesn't make sense right? it's...
    LonelyStar101 LonelyStar101 16-17 1 Response Dec 15, 2012

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    Hope

    That thought has always been in the back of my mind....and now it keeps screaming louder and louder.I constantly feel like I am irrelevant, and just going through the motions of a life that I would rather not have. I work to jobs which I hate, I work with people who could care...
    Ariraine Ariraine 22-25, F 6 Responses May 7, 2013

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    I Just Want To Start Again

    My life from the outside would look great. I am in college moving towards a promising career with an amazing job market. I have parents that are still together and have never been in financial trouble. But sometimes I just want to start over. Live in a city where no one knows me...
    Srey Srey 18-21, M 1 Response Jun 5, 2013

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    Disappear Into The Woods

    I want to disappear and start over. I;m tired of this life and want to be left alone for the rest of my days. i've tried trusting people but that never works one betrayal after another. I'm tired of the pain and of having to fake interest in what people are saying. i want to just...
    MyFormerSelfsShadow MyFormerSelfsShadow 18-21, M 7 Responses Aug 16, 2011

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    I Imagine Living A Free Life, Someday

    I finally got the courage up to leave the abuse, finally, yep. Now, he still drives me crazy. He txts me, comes to my car, asks me to talk to him all the time, wants me to do things for him. He is driving me nutty. I just want away from him, and its hard because we have 3...
    ss2012 ss2012 36-40, F Oct 6, 2012

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    Cut All Ties With This Place

    and just go. No lease no more school no more Arizona. Just me gone and if I had a car I'd be gone and i'd live in my car. What keeps me here money or rather a complete lack thereof. I dont have a job anymore and all the income I do have is tied to financial aide from school and...
    newasexy newasexy 26-30, F 4 Responses Apr 1, 2012

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    I want to go to a place

    where no one knows who I am. A place where no one knew about me. A place where I can just start over and be the me I want people to see.
    justinbartolome justinbartolome 13-15, M 1 Response Feb 7

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    First Story....I Guess

    Well, this is the first story and I don't know if it's really a story or a moment that will wrote about something maybe silly.... First of all, my English is horrible so if have a lot mistakes, sorry ...T.T I feel like everyday i die a little bit, the truth I disappear a...
    Shiyo Shiyo 22-25, F 2 Responses May 21, 2013

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    A New Life

    Sometimes, when I feel as if I've screwed up too much, I imagine running away and starting life anew, as a different person, in a different place, with a different personality. I feel this way often, but I feel as if I did start anew, I'd only screw that up too.
    Thelonephilosopher Thelonephilosopher 16-17, M Oct 9, 2013

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    Ocean

    i wish i could disappear and end up on the beach all by myself
    chantel86 chantel86 22-25, F Oct 1, 2010

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    Related Experiences

    I am starting over here at EP and in my life. I feel like this is a good time for a new beginning. It took a long time, but I finally think the answer for my health problems has...
    KittyInDisguise KittyInDisguise 31-35, F 7 Responses Feb 10

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    I am trying to start over but finding it very difficult to let go of the one person that has hurt me the most. I love him more then life itself. we use to talk everyday all the...
    lnewman5569 lnewman5569 41-45, F 2 Responses Feb 21

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    I had to start over nearly 3 years ago after leaving my marriage of 23 years. I've managed to get the material things I need like House, Job etc, but I can't help but feel I have...
    T1ggy67 T1ggy67 46-50, F 1 Response 1 day ago

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    I want to live overseas alone within 3 months to take deep breath , relax and meet new friends to amuse with them
    Taurus1993s Taurus1993s 18-21, F Feb 5

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    I don't think I'm overweight. Ideal weight, probably not. I remember when I used to exercise. I had so much energy. The motivation to start is lacking though. Maybe, its my age. I...
    thirtynotdirty thirtynotdirty 26-30, M Feb 22

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    Only recently I've started to actually transform into a woman. Wish I'd done it years ago, I feel so liberated, so happy
    Girly1977 Girly1977 31-35, M Feb 17

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    I wish I could gather up all my nicest and sweetest friends and start a town or a country somewhere where we would not be bothered.
    Kingshelman Kingshelman 31-35, M 4 Responses Feb 10

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    As the op suggests, I am currently looking for someone or many people to watch anime with. It doesn't have to be anything new to myself or anyone interested, more about sharing...
    1benevolent 1benevolent 22-25, M 5 hrs ago

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    even when it is hard to do i want to change be a great mother and wife be a good child and to love my self even at bad times
    anazi anazi 26-30, F 1 Response Feb 5

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    I love music and have always wanted to sing in a band but always thought I wasn't good enough so I didn't even try. I want to try and see if I could actually accomplish my dream...
    xXchaos71Xx xXchaos71Xx 13-15, F Feb 10

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    well haha im not talented and i cant sing well (doesnt mean i dont sing tho, i sing a lotttt) and i only can play like a little song on the piano WHO WANTS TO BE IN MY BAND or take...
    rthbs rthbs 16-17, F 1 Response Feb 15

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    Eny one want to come? Please let me know.
    Runawaypeople12 Runawaypeople12 13-15, F 4 Responses Feb 19

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    I've been on a roller coaster ride since I got out the Army. My family kicks me while down cause I'm definitely down. My dad makes damn sure to point out how at 28 I'm a complete...
    Slave5 Slave5 26-30, M 1 Response 15 hrs ago

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    It would be like Prince of persia Sands of Time game. Awesome... but I think I need to learn to accept my past and move on. Have someone that accepts you for shortcomings and what...
    unrealbball unrealbball 26-30, M Feb 6

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    Back with a vengeance. Been a very long time since I've been on here. If anyone fancies a chat then go for it :) 🐙
    bluefrogs247 bluefrogs247 18-21, F 2 Responses Feb 10

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    I battle depression and ptsd. Desire to go back to a time when didn't have these issues.
    Averageguy41074 Averageguy41074 36-40, M 5 Responses Feb 13