I Want to Join the Church of the F S M

Flying Spaghetti Monster 82 People

    Pastafarian Quotes of Wisdom

    It is easier for lasagna to pass through the holes of a colander than it is for a rich person to enter Paradise." - Ishmali Camuwundra. The literal interpretation of this quote in its original context is simple: For a person to earn the right to everlasting happiness in the...
    dasmuggler dasmuggler
    36-40, M
    1 Response Apr 5, 2009

    Ninja Pirate Assembly of God

      The Ninja-Pirate Assembly of God was created in 1098 AD after The Flying Spaghetti Monster confiscated Jesus' Army of Ninjas due to misuse. He transfigured the Ninja Army into pirates, and ever since then He has sent His Ninja-Pirate Assembly down to Earth to influence...
    CuriosityKitten CuriosityKitten
    31-35, F
    4 Responses Apr 5, 2009

    His Names

    Although the Flying Spaghetti Monster does in fact have a name, it is so beautiful and so difficult to pronounce by humans that it not only kills whoever attempts to utter it, but also everyone within a 3.7614 mile (6.0534 kilometer) radius - this radius is doubled when one...
    dasmuggler dasmuggler
    36-40, M
    1 Response Apr 5, 2009

    In the beginning God created garlic

    and tomatoes and ground beef Now the earth was formless and empty, darkness was over the surface of the deep, and the Spirit of God was hovering over the waters. And God said, “Let there be heat,” and there was heat. God saw that the heat was good, and he mixed the...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    2 Responses Jul 8, 2014

    Rocking Ragu

    The church of FSM was rocked by saucesational allegations of recipe corruption. The Rev tagliatelle was excommunicated by Archbishop Gnocchi for doubting the existence of the eternal ragu. In a statement the Chief Pasta, said, "The eternal ragu is without doubt and all who...
    stevester stevester
    46-50, M
    7 Responses Apr 6, 2009

    The Noodles Prayer

    The most common prayer, as dictated by the prophet Ragu: Our saucer which art in a colander, draining be Your noodles. Thy noodle come, Thy meatballness be done on earth, as it is meaty in heaven. Give us this day our daily sauce, and forgive us our lack of piracy, as we...
    dasmuggler dasmuggler
    36-40, M
    1 Response Apr 5, 2009

    My Children Don't Go Hungry

    Thanks to the glorious, generous, and tasty FSM, my children do not protest dinner and will eagerly eat all their pasta.  NEVER with sauce; only with lots of olive oil, Parmesan, and Romano cheeses.  Its the only time that there is no whining, screaming, or fussing. My...
    NoGodsNoMasters NoGodsNoMasters
    31-35, F
    6 Responses Apr 10, 2009

    The Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster

    From the web site http://www.venganza.org/ Welcome to the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster     Etch-a-Sketch Created by Pastafarian Damon. Very nice. Madrid sighting I was very lucky to catch this glimpse of the FSM passing at very low...
    dasmuggler dasmuggler
    36-40, M
    7 Responses Apr 5, 2009

    The Major Pastaer

    The Flying: This part of the Flying Spaghetti Monster gives it flight, allowing it to span infinite distances in infinitesimal spans of time. This part is irreducibly complex, hyper-real (see Weird Calculus), and cannot be broken down into components. Doing so – if it...
    dasmuggler dasmuggler
    36-40, M
    1 Response Apr 5, 2009

    Open Letter to the Kansas School Board

    I am writing you with much concern after having read of your hearing to decide whether the alternative theory of Intelligent Design should be taught along with the theory of Evolution. I think we can all agree that it is important for students to hear multiple viewpoints so they...
    dasmuggler dasmuggler
    36-40, M
    13 Responses Apr 5, 2009

    The Eight

    While brooding atop Mount Salsa because he cannot find a Pirate ship, Mosey the Pirate captain receives some advice from the Flying Spaghetti Monster in the form of ten stone tablets. These were called the I'd Really Rather You Didn'ts by the Flying Spaghetti Monster, the "...
    CuriosityKitten CuriosityKitten
    31-35, F
    2 Responses Apr 5, 2009

    How I Joined F S M

    While reading on the website i thought it was ridiculous until i found out there was a fly spaghetti monster god who boiled for my sins and created beer volcanoes and ******** factories for us. For that i owe him everything and that is why i am a Pasterfarian minister
    rambowspakle rambowspakle
    26-30, M
    Oct 2, 2013

    Freedom of Religion

    Spiritually uplifting courthouse installation of Flying Spaghetti Monster Posted by Mark Frauenfelder, March 21, 2008 10:05 AM    People of all religious denominations will be overjoyed to learn that a statue of the Flying Spaghetti Monster was...
    CuriosityKitten CuriosityKitten
    31-35, F
    1 Response Apr 5, 2009

    The Fsm Bible

    The Top 14 Stories in the Flying Spaghetti Monster Bible David takes out the giant with a week-old, hard-as-a-rock meatball. The third seal is broken and the Antipasta lets loose the Four...
    CuriosityKitten CuriosityKitten
    31-35, F
    2 Responses Apr 5, 2009

    In the beginning The Great Spaghetti Monster

    created garlic and tomatoes and ground beef. Now the earth was formless and empty, darkness was over the surface of the deep, and the Spirit of God was hovering over the waters.And the Great Spaghetti Monster said, “Let there be heat,” and there was heat. He saw that...
    Youalredyknow Youalredyknow
    26-30
    Jul 8, 2014

    The Goddess of All Things Pasta

             When I was a lad, I was very skinny.  Now don't misunderstand me.  When I say skinny, I mean the children of some of the poorer sections of the world looked overfed compared to me.        ...
    mewold mewold
    66-70, M
    7 Responses Sep 13, 2009

    Power of Pasta

    I tried to resist, but the power of pasta was just to strong.  Therefore I concede to the pasta and joined the Church of the F S M.
    ShatteredSilk ShatteredSilk
    36-40, F
    2 Responses Apr 5, 2009

    Let The Church Say! Ahfsm Meeeeeeen!

    I was lost in life before I found the FSM.  Spiraling downward into the the land of sauce droppings on the floor.  Hallelujah!  (sobs with a trembling voice) Now, I know that there is someone who cares.  Amazing FSM how sweet the sauce.  That saved a...
    hahasillyme hahasillyme
    18-21
    4 Responses Dec 6, 2009

    I Have Been...

    TOUCHED!!! By his noodly appendage!   Hallelujah.
    FoolishDreamer FoolishDreamer
    31-35, M
    Apr 14, 2009

    Oh Delicious F S M

    We must bathe in your glorious sauce filled with many tasty herbs and spices. We must all remember the words of the great philosopher, Prego, who said, "Let he who is without sin, take the first bite."   :) rAMEN
    godsmack666 godsmack666
    18-21, M
    5 Responses Apr 6, 2009

    FSM Golden Plates Found and Translated! Praise Fsm!

    (This little obnoxious and hopefully amusing story was inspired by last evenings activities.  Enjoy) The most high and holy FSM came to me last night and told me to go and dig under my tomato and basil plants and there I would find golden plates with the TRUE ...
    NoGodsNoMasters NoGodsNoMasters
    31-35, F
    32 Responses Sep 22, 2009

    Ninja Cats Worship the Fsm

    Ninja cats have started appearing more in the past few years. The ninja cats are not believed in by most because being part ninja you can rarely see them. The ninja cats like to hurt people especially toddlers. They will do as much as possible to them especially flying kicks...
    CuriosityKitten CuriosityKitten
    31-35, F
    5 Responses Apr 5, 2009

    Commodore665

    I read about the Austrian Man who refused to remove his colander / pasta strainer for his drivers license photo , I had an epiphany , that this was the one for me .
    commodore665 commodore665
    41-45
    Jul 16, 2011

    WWFSMD?

    Flying Spaghetti Monsterism operates on several core principles, most of which can be summed up by the ever-present abbreviation, WWFSMD? (What Would Flying Spaghetti Monster Do?) This conduct code centers around the Flying Spaghetti Monster and its parts. Meatitude...
    dasmuggler dasmuggler
    36-40, M
    2 Responses Apr 5, 2009
    dasmuggler dasmuggler
    36-40, M
    2 Responses Apr 5, 2009

    He Saved Me!!!!!!!

    I remember I was hungry and in need of some noodley goodness,.....he was there!!!! His son the Righteous Meatball helped him fulfill my needs. What would I do without the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monsters?????
    presleysshadow presleysshadow
    41-45, F
    1 Response Apr 6, 2009

    I Will, As Long As...

    I get lots of free spaghetti.  I am a big fan of spaghetti.  If I get it for free by joining the Church of the FSM, then count me all in. 
    yoyy yoyy
    26-30, F
    5 Responses Apr 5, 2009

    As He Wishes...

    I bow to His Noodleness.  I can no longer resist the call of the Pasta, or its pull on my very life, my very heart and soul.  I am helpless in the light of His noodley power.  I hereby dedicate all appetite I have remaining within me to the greatness...
    dyin2live dyin2live
    31-35, F
    3 Responses Apr 6, 2009
More Stories