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I Want to Kill My Self Because of This

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 856 People

    The time is nearing for me to do this.

    After passing my seventeenth birthday the adult life and demands are seeping in, and life is becoming even more cruel. I always fight to get what I want in life, but I've been fighting so hard for some things and I literally can do nothing more, unless I had a large amount of...
    maurylight maurylight 18-21, F Jan 27

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    I was raped when I was 17.

    I was at a 4th of July party with a lot of my friends. Not one friend tried to help me or take care of me when it was obvious I drank way too much, when I couldn't sit up let alone stand or walk. Not one friend helped me after I was blacked out, I don't think they even noticed...
    MyMindCravesNectar MyMindCravesNectar 18-21, F 15 Responses Dec 27, 2013

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    I know I seem like an attention craving teenager

    who is only saying this for attention but I really want to die. I really do
    thewriterwithpower thewriterwithpower 13-15, M 7 Responses Jan 16

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    I'm 44 with no hope of employment

    because I spent the last 5 years at home with my girls. I hate their father...he comes home from work and lays in bed and plays video games til the next morning when he leaves for work. i can't throw him the hell out of my house, which is all mine, because I can't find a job. I...
    lucismom lucismom 41-45, F 1 Response May 8

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    If you are suicidal, please get help

    if you can't find help within yourself. But, please, do not seek help from your teenage friends, especially if they struggle with their own issues. Please please please. Not only are you being subjected to the hurtful things your brain says to you, you subject others to it. You...
    junipersun21 junipersun21 18-21, F Mar 12

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    Wanna kill yourself? Imagine this.

    You come home from school one day. You’ve had yet another horrible day. You’re just ready to give up. So you go to your room, close the door, and take out that suicide note you’ve written and rewritten over and over and over. You take out those razor blades, and cut for...
    Theguy0298 Theguy0298 16-17, M 1 Response Jan 19

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    lamiavarc lamiavarc 16-17, F 5 Responses Nov 28, 2014

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    I hate my family the only care about themselves,

    they tell me socialise and then soon as I get chance I'm not allowed, and they are always saying that if I ask them they would let me and I do ******* ask them and it's always the same cycling answer. I'm sick of being trapped in my room which is ******* cold and lonely and...
    drawmysmile drawmysmile 16-17, F 3 Responses Dec 28, 2014

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    I'm seriously about to kill myself,

    I'm sick of it here, I'm always getting stabbed in the back and mistreated. Everyone always uses me and I'm always getting blamed for things. **** this place! **** it all!
    TheDyingButterfly TheDyingButterfly 13-15, F 6 Responses Oct 23, 2014

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    I'm miserable! Me and my wife separated a year

    and a half ago. We are going thru a divorce. My wife has a lawyer and i dont. She has money and i dont. I was the stay at home parent to my 2 children and now I hardly see them. I'm very sad and angry. I have no friends or family and am completely alone. Me and my wife got in a...
    aschlee aschlee 31-35 1 Response Feb 21

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    I hate life I hate society I hate myself

    and I want to die. I don't have a bad life I have loving parents a nice home nothing to complain about there. But I don't fit in with society at all I'm a loser no one likes me I'm going to be single forever and I'm just don't agree with Society. I don't agree with society I don...
    superabe11 superabe11 16-17, M 3 Responses Jul 29, 2014

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    IloveAj2345 IloveAj2345 13-15, F 11 Responses Nov 3, 2014

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    I don't want to feel like this anymore.

    I feel like I'm being suffocated and there's nothing for me. But, then I think about how selfish I'm being for wanting to kill myself that I sit in a daze trying to think of ways to make myself feel better for being this way.
    SugarNub SugarNub 18-21, F 1 Response Dec 7, 2014

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    Untitled

    You know what's funny? How you told me you'd be my santuary until I'm back on my feet. The funnier thing? I wasn't ever back up on my feet when you stopped being my santuary. You promised that you'd make me take at least the majority of my stress away. All you had to do was keep...
    catchmeimfalling catchmeimfalling 16-17 Mar 4, 2013

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    I Want It To Be Over Already

    In order to keep functioning on a daily basis, I've had to make a deal with myself that I would never live to see thirty. I am turning 26. I'm not holding it together, it's like slapping tar paper over a leak when the roof is about to implode at any second. My friends keep...
    BlueSelkie BlueSelkie 22-25, F 2 Responses Jan 13, 2013

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    I want to kill myself

    because I just dont bother life anymore. I am to tired. I am not really sad or anything, I am just so ******* tired. I see no point in life, there is more pain than pleasure. And I am too tired to do the same thing every single day.
    Amidala97 Amidala97 16-17, F 4 Responses Apr 8, 2014

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    I want to end it all.

    I've had enough nothing's gone right for my so far this year and my life's only gunna get harder if it's much like this 😢😢
    PyschoJack PyschoJack 18-21, M 1 Response Mar 3

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    Im Lost...

    Ever since I was... five, i think, suicide has been appealing, and I have attempted it several times. The number of times Ive tried... I cant keep count. Recently, however, I met someone who... has done the same things as I have done, and seems to understand me. She and I... have...
    hahahalo13 hahahalo13 13-15 4 Responses Jan 13, 2013

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    My Mother.

    My mother; No, she's not abusive or a bad person. She's tried reaching out to me, but she just doesn't know how; She's the closest anyone has ever come to trying though. Sure, she's just like anyone else, she can say hurtful things every now and then. But then I look and see how...
    SkinnyThoughtsAndRedLipstick SkinnyThoughtsAndRedLipstick 18-21, F 2 Responses Feb 23, 2013

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    Why Muslim Must Hate Me This Much??

    i am indonesian... i am really sorry if my grammar such an awfull... i am christian... i live as christian for 25 years old now... i work in company which muslim is the majority... they do not seem to open their heart about anything that i do... everything that i do is like...
    lonelynicky lonelynicky 22-25 11 Responses Jan 8, 2009

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    I have no definite personality.

    I think I have borderline personality disorder, with one personality being cynical, cunning, narcissistic, extremely intelligent, lazy, and sadistic, another side being silly and begging for any respect or admiration, and my other side being kind, self-critical, depressed, tired...
    thedifferent thedifferent 22-25, M 1 Response Feb 10, 2014

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    I WISH I COULD BE A BETTER PERSON FOR MY FAMILY

    , I HATE MYSELF IM SO ******* USELESS CANT EVEN GET A JOB
    sorrybouttheugly sorrybouttheugly 18-21 5 Responses Nov 29, 2014

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    A gun store 11 miles away.

    Really? Not a question. An exclamation. Really though?
    ChangingFaces5 ChangingFaces5 26-30 Dec 4, 2014

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    Drugs..Rape..Hate..Cutting..Burning..Drownding In My Own Tears...

    don't get me wrong I am thankful for the life god gave me..but I honestly have no ******* clue why he put me here everything I seem to do is wrong! taylor do this taylor u dident do that right.. whats wrong with you taylor.. grow up taylor I feel dead to my self..i don't know...
    taylor1234325 taylor1234325 13-15, F 1 Response Apr 8, 2013

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    I hum under my voice

    and you think I made a sigh so you literally scream at me!?!? F U!!!! I start to lose the will to give a flying F if you got problems. Just cause your bipolar and emotionally handicap dosnt mean I should suffer every day! God f ing dammit...... but dont worry, ill sit here like...
    DeathAngelS300 DeathAngelS300 18-21, F 3 Responses Jan 19

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    I Miss The Old You

    i miss the days when you only talked to me the moments when i felt like there were only you and me the way you made efforts to get on and talk to me the way you calmed me down when i was mad at you the way you made me smile so happily the way we could talk things that actually...
    HakujitsuSeiten HakujitsuSeiten 18-21, F 7 Responses Aug 23, 2012

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    I'm done!!!!! I'm tired of everyone leaving me,

    this depression is not ending any time soon, I'm a waste of space and not wanted. I even asked for help today and I didn't get it, this shows no one actually cares. Maybe tonight's the night.......
    Ki123 Ki123 18-21, F 35 Responses Dec 15, 2013

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    Before You Kill Yourself Or Think About It, Read This

    Are you thinking about suicide? Thinking about how, if you killed yourself, nobody would care? Think again. If you kill yourself you will change somebodies world. That's right. They will see everything differently. Just hearing your name will burn their mind with memores. They...
    prettybrowneyes1993 prettybrowneyes1993 18-21, F 7 Responses Feb 11, 2013

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    I hate my life so much 😩 people ain't

    treating me good at all 😔
    frankcartergbe frankcartergbe 16-17, M 3 Responses Jan 6

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    This is something that I made on a note card

    about the issue or urges of suicide and self-harm. In this moment where are my thoughts and feelings on the issue of my self-harm (cutting & suicide). As powerful as they may be thoughts are nothing but thoughts, as a feeling is nothing more then a feeling they are not a think...
    mlcockrell mlcockrell 36-40, M 1 Response Dec 15, 2013

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    I've Felt This Way For As Long As I Can Remember

    My name is Matt and I'm a 21 year old college student.  I have been unhappy my whole life.  I've tried just about every medication out there for depression, only to find that it's not what's in my head that makes me sad, but what is all around me.  I've always been...
    toolfan714 toolfan714 18-21, M 13 Responses Oct 1, 2009

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    I am so alone, I had a great girl in my life

    that decided to leave. I don't have a car or a full time job now, I feel useless. I'm struggling to get out of bed. I have terrible insomnia. I just want this torment to end. I don't know or care if I'll be missed, I just want to die.
    Derfthequantumpotato Derfthequantumpotato 18-21, M 1 Response May 3

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    I tricked hundreds of good people.

    I hurt an innocent person. Someone so sweet that I would rather die than have this happen to her. I can hear it now. You did this you should take responsibility. Killing yourself is an escape. Deal with your problems you coward. It says I want. Not I will. I don't deserve death...
    ChangingFaces5 ChangingFaces5 26-30 1 Response Nov 28, 2014

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    There's not a day that goes by

    that I dont think of suicide. There's not a moment in my miserable life that I feel like is worth living. And I try to reach out. I'm on my knees begging for help and nobody comes. Nobody believes there's anything wrong. Everyone thinks I'm overreacting. That I'm faking it. And...
    NowhereKid NowhereKid 16-17, F 1 Response Jun 26, 2014

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    I'm Me...

    I was beaten. I was emotionally abused. I was molested at the age of eight... I'm worthless, there is no possible way I could ever be something. The pain is just to much to deal with. No one even gives a damn. People even say I should. They're right... Why should I keeping going...
    MairuOrihara MairuOrihara 13-15, F 3 Responses Sep 21, 2013

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    Too Much Pain

    There's many reasons I can think of, but thee one I'm hurting from most is pain in my heart. Within two years I've lost my husband's family that I cherished dearly for the reason, I was raised without brothers/sister/aunts/uncles/grandma.. etc. After I felt abanded from them...
    Calif39 Calif39 36-40, F 5 Responses May 6, 2012

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    I Can'T

    I can't deal. I'm such a failure.
    inkedmommy inkedmommy 22-25, F 6 Responses Oct 26, 2013

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    When I was 12 my mothers boyfriend raped me

    and took my virginity. My mom told me I was a liar and that I "wanted her man" when I was thirteen she threw me out of the house telling me and I quote "I will choose him over you any day!" So I left. I spend the first couple of days hungry tired and just stressed sleeping on...
    Kenjitsu Kenjitsu 22-25, F 4 Responses 5 days ago

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    I'm Not Even Scared Anymore.

    I'm not scared of the thought of death anymore. I simply just want to end my life and call it quits. I've always had an issue with depression and staying positive but this really just pushes me to the edge. I've always been bad when it comes to academics, the last time I had...
    Sennasenpaiz Sennasenpaiz 18-21, F 8 Responses May 9, 2012

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    shortfry3 shortfry3 13-15, F 5 Responses Mar 12

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    I have wanted to kill my self

    so many times before, just to end it all and be free. One day I was planing my ending and listening to sad music on YouTube (cliche I know) when I saw this one video called watch if you know anyone that's suicidal, even you. http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=cETHTPeGvEc That's...
    lost1234567 lost1234567 16-17, F Mar 10, 2014

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    I know it's immature to want to kill myself

    and I know it's really not the way outta all of this, and I also know it is not inevitable, but I feel like I should. I can picture her holding his hands and kissing him and ******* him and it just hurts so badly. because if I told you my story, you would side me. and I'm not...
    drukware drukware 13-15, M Jan 13

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    My life was a heaven then I personally turned

    it into hell. Long story, but the point is that is ALL my fault, I did many simple mistakes I could have easily avoid. I was warned many times in many different ways, but I screwed it all. Many people would miss me and suffer because of me, but I am not the same person they used...
    MySelfIsAfterMe MySelfIsAfterMe 22-25, M May 15

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    Because of me not feeling wanted.

    I want someone to want me. I want to feel loved. Why can't I have happiness like everyone else? I'm so unlucky it should be considered a talent or some type of magical power. I just want someone who's there for me. I'm not asking for much all I ask for is to feel wanted.
    IILoveHarryII IILoveHarryII 13-15, F 1 Response Feb 11

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    I'm ready to just forget

    and go...go on forever and never come back...
    nomnommings nomnommings 16-17, F Feb 28

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    i lay aging in my bed think about myself

    and cant sleep , i cry now for 2 hours and Start cut my arms and hope the pain let me sleep i want to die so much no sleepless nights more or so just sleep forever ;-;
    jassikitty jassikitty 18-21, F Jan 18

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