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I Want to Kill My Self Because of This

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 916 People

    I have wanted to kill my self

    so many times before, just to end it all and be free. One day I was planing my ending and listening to sad music on YouTube (cliche I know) when I saw this one video called watch if you know anyone that's suicidal, even you. http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=cETHTPeGvEc That's...
    lost1234567 lost1234567 18-21, F Mar 10, 2014

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    Why Muslim Must Hate Me This Much??

    i am indonesian... i am really sorry if my grammar such an awfull... i am christian... i live as christian for 25 years old now... i work in company which muslim is the majority... they do not seem to open their heart about anything that i do... everything that i do is like...
    lonelynicky lonelynicky 22-25 10 Responses Jan 8, 2009

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    I'm 44 with no hope of employment

    because I spent the last 5 years at home with my girls. I hate their father...he comes home from work and lays in bed and plays video games til the next morning when he leaves for work. i can't throw him the hell out of my house, which is all mine, because I can't find a job. I...
    lucismom lucismom 41-45, F 2 Responses May 8, 2015

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    This is something that I made on a note card

    about the issue or urges of suicide and self-harm. In this moment where are my thoughts and feelings on the issue of my self-harm (cutting & suicide). As powerful as they may be thoughts are nothing but thoughts, as a feeling is nothing more then a feeling they are not a think...
    mlcockrell mlcockrell 36-40, M 1 Response Dec 15, 2013

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    Tired!

    i don't know how i should describe this OR what i should say, but i really feel that i'm not able to make meaning out of my own words. there's not just a single reason or a person to blame and on top of that i just hate the "what if " condition! i'm tired of people around me, i'm...
    ar93 ar93 22-25, M 5 Responses Dec 1, 2013

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    Haha, well here goes nothing.

    .. I went to a gas station during my lunch break, what could possibly go wrong? I bought a pack of red licorice, how could this possibly turn into a disaster? One of my friends and I are walking around (while holding the licorice), my crush and her best friend walk up to me and...
    Venum21 Venum21 13-15, M Nov 7, 2015

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    Im Lost...

    Ever since I was... five, i think, suicide has been appealing, and I have attempted it several times. The number of times Ive tried... I cant keep count. Recently, however, I met someone who... has done the same things as I have done, and seems to understand me. She and I... have...
    hahahalo13 hahahalo13 13-15 4 Responses Jan 13, 2013

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    I'm at that crossroad

    where I won't necessarily commit suicide but if I happen to be crossing the road and a car happened to be driving towards me, I wouldn't move away.
    Sib232228 Sib232228 16-17, F 1 Response Aug 9, 2015

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    If you are suicidal, please get help

    if you can't find help within yourself. But, please, do not seek help from your teenage friends, especially if they struggle with their own issues. Please please please. Not only are you being subjected to the hurtful things your brain says to you, you subject others to it. You...
    junipersun21 junipersun21 18-21, F 1 Response Mar 12, 2015

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    I'm a 21 years young

    and I just want to kill myself because I most definitely have HSV. How could I live like this the rest of my life. How do I tell My current boyfriend once I get a confirmed test. It's better to just end my life
    Tattedblackhair Tattedblackhair 18-21, F 1 Response Jul 15, 2015

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    I am sad. I will finally admit this.

    This doesn't mean I am weak or I am not competent or worthless. It basically means I am in a lot emotional pain and turmoil that wasn't acknowledged or dealt with since my depression which lasted forever. I need help and I need to heal but I feel hopeless and don't know how to...
    neurokitty99 neurokitty99 22-25, F 4 Responses Jan 22

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    my best friend is in the hospital he's been

    there for 3 days now and he's unresponsive and there not sure if he's going to make it I don't think I would make it without him and it's my fault he called me 9 times that night and I wasn't there for him
    Kidsinthedark Kidsinthedark 13-15, F 1 Response Aug 15, 2015

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    Life is challenging me lately,

    every day in summer vacation is a busy day,with no time toeven relax,I'm starting to lose it,and the worst thing is that my mom kept on nagging me all the fking time and I'm sick of it,if she hates me THAT much,I'd rather kill myself
    avengerthesoulmyhate avengerthesoulmyhate 13-15, F 1 Response Aug 18, 2015

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    I Miss The Old You

    i miss the days when you only talked to me the moments when i felt like there were only you and me the way you made efforts to get on and talk to me the way you calmed me down when i was mad at you the way you made me smile so happily the way we could talk things that actually...
    HakujitsuSeiten HakujitsuSeiten 18-21, F 6 Responses Aug 23, 2012

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    I really don't see a reason not to.

    I feel as if I have no future and living would just cause me to be more miserable. I find it hard to believe that people love and care about me, so why not? I've found that I'm not even scared of dying, that the only thing that's really keeping me alive is that I'm scared of...
    xSweetPea xSweetPea 18-21, F 1 Response Dec 26, 2013

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    I don't want to live

    because I'm gay and married to the most wonderful person in the world.
    okieboy444 okieboy444 56-60, M Jun 17, 2015

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    Can I just kill myself now?

    No one would really care in the long run, plus people will be better off without my mopey attitude around them. Mostly because I'm failing college and not making enough money to live on my own are the key reasons i want to off myself. Then my mom and sister hate me for all the...
    WinterSkyout WinterSkyout 18-21, F 3 Responses Nov 7, 2015

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    I'm done!!!!! I'm tired of everyone leaving me,

    this depression is not ending any time soon, I'm a waste of space and not wanted. I even asked for help today and I didn't get it, this shows no one actually cares. Maybe tonight's the night.......
    Ki123 Ki123 18-21, F 35 Responses Dec 15, 2013

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    I Can'T

    I can't deal. I'm such a failure.
    inkedmommy inkedmommy 22-25, F 6 Responses Oct 26, 2013

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    IloveAj2345 IloveAj2345 13-15, F 11 Responses Nov 3, 2014

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    i havnt been on here

    for quite some time. but recently i have seen myself slipping worse than i used to be fofore. im starting to think of death more and i keep thinking over and over again about shooting myself in the head. i have nobody to turn to and i just dont know what to do with myself. i...
    Searching4MyJuliet Searching4MyJuliet 22-25, M Jul 21, 2015

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    Before You Kill Yourself Or Think About It, Read This

    Are you thinking about suicide? Thinking about how, if you killed yourself, nobody would care? Think again. If you kill yourself you will change somebodies world. That's right. They will see everything differently. Just hearing your name will burn their mind with memores. They...
    prettybrowneyes1993 prettybrowneyes1993 18-21, F 9 Responses Feb 11, 2013

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    I've tried for so long.

    . I've tried being a good person.. but good things don't happen to good people. I should've known that. I'm done hiding. I'm depressed, I've been depressed for almost 7 years..I hate myself so much.. I hate the world even more.. I'm worthless.. I've learned that.. not much to say...
    AMadMindInTheDark AMadMindInTheDark 18-21, F 1 Response Sep 22, 2015

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    Untitled

    You know what's funny? How you told me you'd be my santuary until I'm back on my feet. The funnier thing? I wasn't ever back up on my feet when you stopped being my santuary. You promised that you'd make me take at least the majority of my stress away. All you had to do was keep...
    catchmeimfalling catchmeimfalling 16-17 Mar 4, 2013

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    I'm am so heartbroken over my decision.

    ... why did I kill something that was only put here to have unconditional love... I murdered it... even though it was brain dead I murdered it.
    deniseee deniseee 22-25, F 3 Responses Sep 26, 2015

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    Are you serious just kill me

    now I'm done with people I can't do this anymore
    deleted deleted 26-30 Aug 8, 2015

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    First of all, unless u have a brain

    and understand mental illness, stop reading this. Mental illness is a brain illness. You hurt. You feel like death is your companion. You swear. You can't sleep. Or all u do is sleep. Or u r overactive.. Bizarre. You feel panicky, heart attack. You feel like you weigh a ton...
    Suckstobemee Suckstobemee 41-45, M 1 Response Sep 19, 2015

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    Too Much Pain

    There's many reasons I can think of, but thee one I'm hurting from most is pain in my heart. Within two years I've lost my husband's family that I cherished dearly for the reason, I was raised without brothers/sister/aunts/uncles/grandma.. etc. After I felt abanded from them...
    Calif39 Calif39 36-40, F 5 Responses May 6, 2012

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    All I can think about lately is the comforting

    dark embrace of Nothingness. I hate my life and I'm mad this is how my life is. I do just about everything on my own. I'm getting married in a month to a man I do truly love.... But he doesn't pull his weight. God, here come the tears now.. I pay for most of our bills. I've had...
    LadyLunaa LadyLunaa 18-21, F 2 Responses Jul 20, 2015

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    everyone I've ever met has used me,

    it ****** me off that i keep going so far and am blinded from seeing it. idk if I'm even worth having around on this earth these days. i just got used again about an hour ago after me and my "gf" were cuddling happy as can be when her ex pulls up and they go to his place to...
    decox decox 41-45, M Nov 23, 2015

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    I hate life I hate society I hate myself

    and I want to die. I don't have a bad life I have loving parents a nice home nothing to complain about there. But I don't fit in with society at all I'm a loser no one likes me I'm going to be single forever and I'm just don't agree with Society. I don't agree with society I don...
    superabe11 superabe11 18-21, M 3 Responses Jul 29, 2014

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    Hello everyone. I want to keep this short

    and simply. I have been going through a depression lately because my family found out that I'm a crossdresser. And I have been thinking and wanting to kill to myself and I finally decided that I'm going to kill myself. I have the noose already in a apartment I just rented for...
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Sep 7, 2015

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    I was molested and sodomized

    before I even entered school. It happened a lot. And it shaped the person I am. The person I hate. And I really don't think I'll make it.
    anthonymunizz anthonymunizz 22-25, M 1 Response Jul 14, 2015

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    Drugs..Rape..Hate..Cutting..Burning..Drownding In My Own Tears...

    don't get me wrong I am thankful for the life god gave me..but I honestly have no ******* clue why he put me here everything I seem to do is wrong! taylor do this taylor u dident do that right.. whats wrong with you taylor.. grow up taylor I feel dead to my self..i don't know...
    taylor1234325 taylor1234325 13-15, F 1 Response Apr 8, 2013

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    My family fight constantly giving me anxiety my

    friends aren't there anymore and the one part of my life that made me smile just got taken away from me ...
    UndeservingA UndeservingA 16-17, F 2 Responses Nov 8, 2015

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    When I was 12 my mothers boyfriend raped me

    and took my virginity. My mom told me I was a liar and that I "wanted her man" when I was thirteen she threw me out of the house telling me and I quote "I will choose him over you any day!" So I left. I spend the first couple of days hungry tired and just stressed sleeping on...
    Kenjitsu Kenjitsu 22-25, F 4 Responses May 21, 2015

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    I don't know any of you.

    But here me out. I want to help you. Suicide isn't the answer and I'm sure you hear that a lot but you are all strong people to have made it this far, you can't deny that. You can make it farther. I will help you I want to help you, but life doesn't end here. You have an entire...
    kxCobra kxCobra 18-21, F Mar 29, 2014

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    I'm Me...

    I was beaten. I was emotionally abused. I was molested at the age of eight... I'm worthless, there is no possible way I could ever be something. The pain is just to much to deal with. No one even gives a damn. People even say I should. They're right... Why should I keeping going...
    MairuOrihara MairuOrihara 13-15, F 3 Responses Sep 21, 2013

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    My Mother.

    My mother; No, she's not abusive or a bad person. She's tried reaching out to me, but she just doesn't know how; She's the closest anyone has ever come to trying though. Sure, she's just like anyone else, she can say hurtful things every now and then. But then I look and see how...
    SkinnyThoughtsAndRedLipstick SkinnyThoughtsAndRedLipstick 18-21, F 2 Responses Feb 23, 2013

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    I'm Not Even Scared Anymore.

    I'm not scared of the thought of death anymore. I simply just want to end my life and call it quits. I've always had an issue with depression and staying positive but this really just pushes me to the edge. I've always been bad when it comes to academics, the last time I had...
    Sennasenpaiz Sennasenpaiz 18-21, F 5 Responses May 9, 2012

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    My parents don't understand my situations ,

    my mom has health problems,my dads leg is injured ,the boy I talked to yesterday is lying to me saying he feels something strong for me...I have no loyal friends.feels like there's no one by my side no more .I just came too say in worthless&ugly
    3505097j 3505097j 13-15, F 1 Response Nov 7, 2015

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    I really want to kill myself.

    My life is going on horribly. My mother has psychotic depression, she has been on an affair for 9 years & has just recently stopped after being diagnosed with psychotic depression, & we aren't the wealthiest family out there. My dad use to be a gambler. I'm labeled as stupid in...
    mangoseed mangoseed 18-21, F 1 Response Aug 22, 2015

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    well its time to get drunk

    and slit my wrist
    sexylexi696969 sexylexi696969 18-21, T 2 Responses Oct 13, 2015

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    I hate my life. I am born into a semi wealthy

    family, however, money has nothing to to with this (maybe a little). I grew up thinking life is wonderful, and that I will experience many things as I grow up, with loving parents who would do everything to set me on the right track in life, or until I can make solid choices. I...
    itshouldhavebeenezbb itshouldhavebeenezbb 13-15, M 2 Responses Jun 28, 2015

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    Monday night I almost killed myself.

    but i cried till I fell asleep. **** I wish I killed myself right then. I almost killed myself because I'm to much of a burden...... that's why everyone leaves me..... I can't go through another break up..... or anything else.... if my x couldn't handle me..... then no one can...
    100BlackRoses 100BlackRoses 16-17, F Sep 25, 2015

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