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I Want to Kill My Self Because of This

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 642 People

    I have wanted to kill my self

    so many times before, just to end it all and be free. One day I was planing my ending and listening to sad music on YouTube (cliche I know) when I saw this one video called watch if you know anyone that's suicidal, even you. http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=cETHTPeGvEc That's...
    lost1234567 lost1234567 16-17, F Mar 10

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    I am 17 years old and I want to kill myself.

    It seems like ever since I started school my life has just went downhill. Ever since kindergarten I have had trouble making friends because everyone looks at me like I'm a piece of **** or someone that isn't approachable. I am in 9th grade and have found a group of 3 kids to...
    GregFox09 GregFox09 26-30, M 4 Responses Apr 17

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    I have Asperger's Syndrome

    and I'm just so sick of the constant misunderstandings between me and other people. Somehow in the end I'm always the idiot. But most of all it ******* sucks that I can't just be a normal girl like everyone else. I hate this disorder and my life and although I've been trying to...
    vivi9298 vivi9298 16-17, F 2 Responses May 29

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    of this flashbacks. they are getting bad i dont

    want to see my exbf (my molester) at schoo. he won
    elephant17 elephant17 16-17, F 2 Responses May 18

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    It just to much I can't stand it I lost every

    thing every one all I have is friends on a goddamned phone and computer and Im never gonna met them cuase noo I'm to psycho nooo I will kill them and and the girl I cared about I hate her I know she never loved me she just was scared and wanted to take my heart like she did and...
    Wolf267 Wolf267 13-15, M 2 Responses Jun 24

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    Too Much Pain

    There's many reasons I can think of, but thee one I'm hurting from most is pain in my heart. Within two years I've lost my husband's family that I cherished dearly for the reason, I was raised without brothers/sister/aunts/uncles/grandma.. etc. After I felt abanded from them...
    Calif39 Calif39 36-40, F 4 Responses May 6, 2012

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    I'm Sick Of This

    I don't know how to continue, I'm really struggling. I've been in and out of hospital the past year, but after four years of this destructive habit, I know I'm never going to be able to break it. I just want to be like everyone else, I want to be happy, go to school, whine about...
    jessmorison jessmorison 16-17, F 1 Response Nov 10, 2013

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    I want to kill my self

    but I don't know why. It's not for attention and it's not for fun. I just want to die.
    Magicbubbless Magicbubbless 13-15, F 3 Responses May 3

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    Untitled

    You know what's funny? How you told me you'd be my santuary until I'm back on my feet. The funnier thing? I wasn't ever back up on my feet when you stopped being my santuary. You promised that you'd make me take at least the majority of my stress away. All you had to do was keep...
    catchmeimfalling catchmeimfalling 16-17 Mar 4, 2013

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    I've Felt This Way For As Long As I Can Remember

    My name is Matt and I'm a 21 year old college student.  I have been unhappy my whole life.  I've tried just about every medication out there for depression, only to find that it's not what's in my head that makes me sad, but what is all around me.  I've always been...
    toolfan714 toolfan714 18-21, M 14 Responses Oct 1, 2009

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    I have no definite personality.

    I think I have borderline personality disorder, with one personality being cynical, cunning, narcissistic, extremely intelligent, lazy, and sadistic, another side being silly and begging for any respect or admiration, and my other side being kind, self-critical, depressed, tired...
    thedifferent thedifferent 22-25, M 1 Response Feb 10

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    chianamaree chianamaree 13-15, F 1 Response May 26

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    There's not a day that goes by

    that I dont think of suicide. There's not a moment in my miserable life that I feel like is worth living. And I try to reach out. I'm on my knees begging for help and nobody comes. Nobody believes there's anything wrong. Everyone thinks I'm overreacting. That I'm faking it. And...
    NowhereKid NowhereKid 16-17, F Jun 26

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    I Can'T

    I can't deal. I'm such a failure.
    inkedmommy inkedmommy 22-25, F 6 Responses Oct 26, 2013

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    keishay keishay 13-15, F 2 Responses Apr 20

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    No one understands me.

    I hate myself so much. I just want to be happy & that doesn't even seem possible anymore. Happiness does not exist for me.
    adventuretimer adventuretimer 16-17, F 4 Responses Jun 21

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    I'm done living my ****** up life.

    I'm not gonna graduate this month anyways so there is no god damn point in living anymore. I won't have a future or a job so I'm just gonna end it now. I'm not gonna live my life in hell. So I'm gonna kill myself the first chance I get today.
    SilentlyExisting SilentlyExisting 18-21, M 4 Responses May 5

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    I Want It To Be Over Already

    In order to keep functioning on a daily basis, I've had to make a deal with myself that I would never live to see thirty. I am turning 26. I'm not holding it together, it's like slapping tar paper over a leak when the roof is about to implode at any second. My friends keep...
    BlueSelkie BlueSelkie 22-25, F 2 Responses Jan 13, 2013

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    I really don't see a reason not to.

    I feel as if I have no future and living would just cause me to be more miserable. I find it hard to believe that people love and care about me, so why not? I've found that I'm not even scared of dying, that the only thing that's really keeping me alive is that I'm scared of...
    xSweetPea xSweetPea 16-17, F 1 Response Dec 26, 2013

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    I'm done!!!!! I'm tired of everyone leaving me,

    this depression is not ending any time soon, I'm a waste of space and not wanted. I even asked for help today and I didn't get it, this shows no one actually cares. Maybe tonight's the night.......
    Ki123 Ki123 18-21, F 35 Responses Dec 15, 2013

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    I Miss The Old You

    i miss the days when you only talked to me the moments when i felt like there were only you and me the way you made efforts to get on and talk to me the way you calmed me down when i was mad at you the way you made me smile so happily the way we could talk things that actually...
    HakujitsuSeiten HakujitsuSeiten 18-21, F 8 Responses Aug 23, 2012

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    forgetaboutme2 forgetaboutme2 16-17, F May 30

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    I was raped when I was 17.

    I was at a 4th of July party with a lot of my friends. Not one friend tried to help me or take care of me when it was obvious I drank way too much, when I couldn't sit up let alone stand or walk. Not one friend helped me after I was blacked out, I don't think they even noticed...
    MyMindCravesNectar MyMindCravesNectar 18-21, F 15 Responses Dec 27, 2013

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    I am so tired of worn down of remembering.

    Of being alone. I know, I have my whole life ahead of me and people keep telling me that "things will change" but when will I gain some form of feeling back?
    leimic leimic 18-21, F 5 Responses Apr 18

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    I'm Not Even Scared Anymore.

    I'm not scared of the thought of death anymore. I simply just want to end my life and call it quits. I've always had an issue with depression and staying positive but this really just pushes me to the edge. I've always been bad when it comes to academics, the last time I had...
    Sennasenpaiz Sennasenpaiz 18-21, F 8 Responses May 9, 2012

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    I am a very different person.

    And people always make fun of me. No one knows what its like being me.
    ginny1q1q ginny1q1q 13-15, F 2 Responses Jul 3

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    I want to kill myself right now

    because of a bad experience with people. I have been having this thought for 3 days... I really want to die right now.
    justaformality justaformality 13-15, F 2 Responses May 15

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    Before You Kill Yourself Or Think About It, Read This

    Are you thinking about suicide? Thinking about how, if you killed yourself, nobody would care? Think again. If you kill yourself you will change somebodies world. That's right. They will see everything differently. Just hearing your name will burn their mind with memores. They...
    prettybrowneyes1993 prettybrowneyes1993 18-21, F 5 Responses Feb 11, 2013

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    People think I'm happy

    and on ep they say I'm liar and I don't like it :(
    Houri Houri 26-30, F 2 Responses Jun 26

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    Because I felt worthless.

    . My parents always get mad at me because of my behavior.. It's not my fault to have this mental and behavioral problem.. They always see the wrong things that I did.. They want me to change. But how am I gonna change my personality. This is the real me.. How am I gonna change if...
    Sabel25 Sabel25 16-17, F 1 Response Jun 24

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    I'm a loner and a loser.

    I'm a homeschooled 16 year old girl who spends all her time on social media and thinking about bands. I have one friend who actually cares about me,but I don't really think she does. I'm never enough for my parents and they make me feel like I'm a burden. my mother told me all...
    vvrists vvrists 16-17, F 1 Response Jun 19

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    I am so tired of my ups

    and downs. One second I want to kill myself, the next I want to live. This keeps going on every minute of every day. It makes me go crazy. It's like one voice is shouting at me to kill myself, and another tells me not to. It is so exhausting. I get so tired of it, and I think...
    Amidala97 Amidala97 16-17, F 3 Responses Apr 10

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    The stress of exams, family

    and friends is too much and no problem ever ends
    humanperson1267 humanperson1267 16-17, F May 26

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    Drugs..Rape..Hate..Cutting..Burning..Drownding In My Own Tears...

    don't get me wrong I am thankful for the life god gave me..but I honestly have no ******* clue why he put me here everything I seem to do is wrong! taylor do this taylor u dident do that right.. whats wrong with you taylor.. grow up taylor I feel dead to my self..i don't know...
    taylor1234325 taylor1234325 13-15, F 1 Response Apr 8, 2013

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    I am really on the verge of stabbing myself to

    death, my famous quote for today is do not trust anyone no matter how much you think you should, don't. I'm not sharing my story but I just need to just get it off my chest that I just cut really deep and I am thinking of just killing myself
    usarmyrangers usarmyrangers 13-15, M 2 Responses Apr 1

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    I just can't express my feelings anymore all I

    feel is sadness I can't get over my ex and I just want to be happy again my whole life is collapsing around me and I'm just tired of trying.
    emgg emgg 13-15, F 5 Responses Jun 24

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    I want to kill myself

    because I can't pass my driving test; I felt confident when I thought I would have the opportunity to take it at the place I wanted but that isn't an option anymore because they have no appointments before my permit is set to expire. But, at the same time, my family is putting...
    RoseWithManyThorns RoseWithManyThorns 18-21, F 3 Responses May 30

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    liviebuchanan liviebuchanan 13-15, F 1 Response Jun 19

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    mary261 mary261 26-30, F 2 Responses Jun 19

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    I want to kill myself

    because I just dont bother life anymore. I am to tired. I am not really sad or anything, I am just so ******* tired. I see no point in life, there is more pain than pleasure. And I am too tired to do the same thing every single day.
    Amidala97 Amidala97 16-17, F 4 Responses Apr 8

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    So im done now completely done what is to live

    for? Nothing my life is complete and utter shite and I have nothing now and I never will I'm going to fail with money school love and fail with life so why wait I mean we're all going to die better sooner than later I suppose It's just all the little things that add up like I...
    Lolbeansarefun Lolbeansarefun 13-15, M 3 Responses Jul 14

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    or those of you have know me on this site,

    I have posted here and on other areas about my history with suicide and self-harm and the reasons that I want to kill myself and the reasons that I have given all my life.I have just lost a cousin to this, and yes I take it a little more personally then some other people because...
    mlcockrell mlcockrell 36-40, M 2 Responses Jun 19

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    I'm Me...

    I was beaten. I was emotionally abused. I was molested at the age of eight... I'm worthless, there is no possible way I could ever be something. The pain is just to much to deal with. No one even gives a damn. People even say I should. They're right... Why should I keeping going...
    MairuOrihara MairuOrihara 13-15, F 3 Responses Sep 21, 2013

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    I don't know any of you.

    But here me out. I want to help you. Suicide isn't the answer and I'm sure you hear that a lot but you are all strong people to have made it this far, you can't deny that. You can make it farther. I will help you I want to help you, but life doesn't end here. You have an entire...
    kxCobra kxCobra 18-21, F Mar 29

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    I hate it when people think

    that I'm joking or not being serious when I say something like this, or say that I'm just doing it for attention or anything like that. **** them! Everything I do isn't for attention, I don't hurt myself for attention I do it to take my mind off worse things in my life...
    lexigreen lexigreen 18-21, F 5 Responses Dec 9, 2013

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    I have gotten to a point in my life guys with

    acceptance at least for the good and bad that comes in my life. It is called Common Humanity which means I am equally gifted and equally flawed. There is not one thing going on in my life right now, that i can't use the skills that I have to get what I want the right and safe...
    mlcockrell mlcockrell 36-40, M 1 Response Mar 8

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    This is something that I made on a note card

    about the issue or urges of suicide and self-harm. In this moment where are my thoughts and feelings on the issue of my self-harm (cutting & suicide). As powerful as they may be thoughts are nothing but thoughts, as a feeling is nothing more then a feeling they are not a think...
    mlcockrell mlcockrell 36-40, M Dec 15, 2013

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    Take Me Now Take Me Fast For There's Noting For Me Just Time To Past

    i don't want to live anymore there's noting for me to live for nobody understand's me nobody like's me i am broken i have spoken i am worth less i am more than dirt less i'm worth less i cant fight anymore i wont try any more unloved and i am only i am only judged...
    magicianguy magicianguy 18-21, M 3 Responses Oct 15, 2013

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    Life has become something I'm bored

    and tired of. People say to enjoy life...but how do you enjoy hell? Hm, perhaps we who suffer are all already dead, as we've been transported to hell....!
    XxSempiternalxX XxSempiternalxX 13-15, F 1 Response Apr 17

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    My Mother.

    My mother; No, she's not abusive or a bad person. She's tried reaching out to me, but she just doesn't know how; She's the closest anyone has ever come to trying though. Sure, she's just like anyone else, she can say hurtful things every now and then. But then I look and see how...
    SkinnyThoughtsAndRedLipstick SkinnyThoughtsAndRedLipstick 16-17, F 2 Responses Feb 23, 2013

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    Tired!

    i don't know how i should describe this OR what i should say, but i really feel that i'm not able to make meaning out of my own words. there's not just a single reason or a person to blame and on top of that i just hate the "what if " condition! i'm tired of people around me, i'm...
    ar93 ar93 18-21, M 4 Responses Dec 1, 2013

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    Im Lost...

    Ever since I was... five, i think, suicide has been appealing, and I have attempted it several times. The number of times Ive tried... I cant keep count. Recently, however, I met someone who... has done the same things as I have done, and seems to understand me. She and I... have...
    hahahalo13 hahahalo13 13-15 4 Responses Jan 13, 2013

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    I am fighting it, but I see no reason

    for trying anymore. I have no reasons to stay alive
    Amidala97 Amidala97 16-17, F 3 Responses Apr 21

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