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I Want to Kill My Self Because of This

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 748 People

    I have wanted to kill my self

    so many times before, just to end it all and be free. One day I was planing my ending and listening to sad music on YouTube (cliche I know) when I saw this one video called watch if you know anyone that's suicidal, even you. http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=cETHTPeGvEc That's...
    lost1234567 lost1234567 16-17, F Mar 10

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    I Want It To Be Over Already

    In order to keep functioning on a daily basis, I've had to make a deal with myself that I would never live to see thirty. I am turning 26. I'm not holding it together, it's like slapping tar paper over a leak when the roof is about to implode at any second. My friends keep...
    BlueSelkie BlueSelkie 22-25, F 3 Responses Jan 13, 2013

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    I was raped when I was 17.

    I was at a 4th of July party with a lot of my friends. Not one friend tried to help me or take care of me when it was obvious I drank way too much, when I couldn't sit up let alone stand or walk. Not one friend helped me after I was blacked out, I don't think they even noticed...
    MyMindCravesNectar MyMindCravesNectar 18-21, F 15 Responses Dec 27, 2013

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    Why Muslim Must Hate Me This Much??

    i am indonesian... i am really sorry if my grammar such an awfull... i am christian... i live as christian for 25 years old now... i work in company which muslim is the majority... they do not seem to open their heart about anything that i do... everything that i do is like...
    lonelynicky lonelynicky 22-25 12 Responses Jan 8, 2009

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    DigitalStar DigitalStar 22-25, M Aug 18

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    I'm Me...

    I was beaten. I was emotionally abused. I was molested at the age of eight... I'm worthless, there is no possible way I could ever be something. The pain is just to much to deal with. No one even gives a damn. People even say I should. They're right... Why should I keeping going...
    MairuOrihara MairuOrihara 13-15, F 3 Responses Sep 21, 2013

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    I'm Sick Of This

    I don't know how to continue, I'm really struggling. I've been in and out of hospital the past year, but after four years of this destructive habit, I know I'm never going to be able to break it. I just want to be like everyone else, I want to be happy, go to school, whine about...
    jessmorison jessmorison 16-17, F 1 Response Nov 10, 2013

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    I really don't see a reason not to.

    I feel as if I have no future and living would just cause me to be more miserable. I find it hard to believe that people love and care about me, so why not? I've found that I'm not even scared of dying, that the only thing that's really keeping me alive is that I'm scared of...
    xSweetPea xSweetPea 16-17, F 1 Response Dec 26, 2013

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    There is genuinely no reason

    for me to be here. I have no potential to achieve anything and I am incapable of doing even the simplest of things. I hate what I see i the mirror and I wake up despising the world every morning. I hate my 'friends', my 'family' and my 'life'. If that is what you would call it...
    kaylaowens kaylaowens 18-21, F 5 Responses Aug 21

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    There's not a day that goes by

    that I dont think of suicide. There's not a moment in my miserable life that I feel like is worth living. And I try to reach out. I'm on my knees begging for help and nobody comes. Nobody believes there's anything wrong. Everyone thinks I'm overreacting. That I'm faking it. And...
    NowhereKid NowhereKid 16-17, F 1 Response Jun 26

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    I am really on the verge of stabbing myself to

    death, my famous quote for today is do not trust anyone no matter how much you think you should, don't. I'm not sharing my story but I just need to just get it off my chest that I just cut really deep and I am thinking of just killing myself
    usarmyrangers usarmyrangers 13-15, M 3 Responses Apr 1

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    doglover140 doglover140 18-21, F 4 Responses Aug 8

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    I'm Not Even Scared Anymore.

    I'm not scared of the thought of death anymore. I simply just want to end my life and call it quits. I've always had an issue with depression and staying positive but this really just pushes me to the edge. I've always been bad when it comes to academics, the last time I had...
    Sennasenpaiz Sennasenpaiz 18-21, F 8 Responses May 9, 2012

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    I've Felt This Way For As Long As I Can Remember

    My name is Matt and I'm a 21 year old college student.  I have been unhappy my whole life.  I've tried just about every medication out there for depression, only to find that it's not what's in my head that makes me sad, but what is all around me.  I've always been...
    toolfan714 toolfan714 18-21, M 13 Responses Oct 1, 2009

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    This is something that I made on a note card

    about the issue or urges of suicide and self-harm. In this moment where are my thoughts and feelings on the issue of my self-harm (cutting & suicide). As powerful as they may be thoughts are nothing but thoughts, as a feeling is nothing more then a feeling they are not a think...
    mlcockrell mlcockrell 36-40, M 1 Response Dec 15, 2013

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    Well, let's just say,

    if I had never met my parents or they had passed away, I'd already Be dead. But I couldn't do that to them. I couldn't ruin their lives.
    DarkOnTheInside13 DarkOnTheInside13 13-15, F Aug 11

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    No one can take care of me.

    I know I'm 16 but I'm still a child. No one at home doesn't take care of me no more. I haven't done anything. I'm totally lost and I don't know what to do. I lost my believe on God and I don't want to do that either. I need someone. I need to get out of this place and now I want...
    flirthypanda flirthypanda 16-17, F 1 Response 1 day ago

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    I've attempted suicide three times

    because of uncertainty and the undeniable feeling of dragging the people you care about down. I know it hurts and I know that if you may hate everything about yourself but the thing is, there's a good chance that you are the only one that thinks that you're nothing but bad...
    lydiathethingy lydiathethingy 13-15, F 5 hrs ago

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    I swear if I keep just sexually abused by some

    guys that I go to school with I will kill my self but I told want to tell people about it
    phillips0430 phillips0430 13-15, F 1 Response Aug 15

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    I'm tired of every one

    and thing v.v why do I bother trying to keep myself happy when I'm not just shoot me
    alonzokim alonzokim 13-15, M 1 day ago

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    Untitled

    You know what's funny? How you told me you'd be my santuary until I'm back on my feet. The funnier thing? I wasn't ever back up on my feet when you stopped being my santuary. You promised that you'd make me take at least the majority of my stress away. All you had to do was keep...
    catchmeimfalling catchmeimfalling 16-17 Mar 4, 2013

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    I Can'T

    I can't deal. I'm such a failure.
    inkedmommy inkedmommy 22-25, F 6 Responses Oct 26, 2013

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    Tired!

    i don't know how i should describe this OR what i should say, but i really feel that i'm not able to make meaning out of my own words. there's not just a single reason or a person to blame and on top of that i just hate the "what if " condition! i'm tired of people around me, i'm...
    ar93 ar93 18-21, M 5 Responses Dec 1, 2013

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    Drugs..Rape..Hate..Cutting..Burning..Drownding In My Own Tears...

    don't get me wrong I am thankful for the life god gave me..but I honestly have no ******* clue why he put me here everything I seem to do is wrong! taylor do this taylor u dident do that right.. whats wrong with you taylor.. grow up taylor I feel dead to my self..i don't know...
    taylor1234325 taylor1234325 13-15, F 1 Response Apr 8, 2013

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    I can't take it anymore.

    Is there anyone out there who can help me? I don't think I can last the night. I'm trying, but I don't think I can do it when I am alone like this and in so much pain. I don't know what to do. I can't live like this. I have done nothing to deserve this kind of pain. I can't take...
    WingsofTime WingsofTime 22-25, F 3 Responses 3 days ago

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    I want to kill myself

    because I'm a horrible person and no one cares about me I'm still trying its just slitting my wrist didn't work neither did popping pills anybody have any other ideas i could try ?
    rosetta52213 rosetta52213 16-17, F 5 Responses Oct 6

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    I want to kill myself

    because I was sexually abused and he gave me chlamydia . I want to kill myself because I've lost all of my friends , and I'm about to lose the remaining people I have once they find out I gave them chlamydia . I want to kill myself because I'm sleeping with my ex boyfriend who...
    Craexo Craexo 18-21, F 5 Responses Aug 19

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    I'm running out of reasons to get out of bed.

    I'm hurting so much and I need someone. My life is spiralling down and this is the only place I can express what I'm feeling. I think I'm dying and I don't know how to save myself. Because the person who is trying to kill me is hiding inside my brain. Someone.. Help me..
    Gordonzobeanz Gordonzobeanz 18-21, M 6 Responses Oct 7

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    I'm done trying. like I'm done that's it.

    I'm going to kill myself. no one cares that I have feelings or that I have a different sexuality. I don't care anymore. I just know that I'm going to kill myself. when I don't know but its going to be soon so no one has to worry about me being a burden or anything anymore. I'm...
    Lovehate2013 Lovehate2013 18-21, F 4 Responses 6 days ago

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    I am just a complete

    and total failure. I am not smart and would never make it in college, i'm ugly, i am forever alone. I'm worthless to everyone around me and i can't wait in till i turn 18 so i can buy a gun a shoot my worthless *** and get this done and over with.
    laserabe1 laserabe1 16-17, M 3 Responses Aug 12

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    I don't know any of you.

    But here me out. I want to help you. Suicide isn't the answer and I'm sure you hear that a lot but you are all strong people to have made it this far, you can't deny that. You can make it farther. I will help you I want to help you, but life doesn't end here. You have an entire...
    kxCobra kxCobra 18-21, F Mar 29

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    No sanctuary from jerks.

    Who rule everything. But that deprives pals of me. So i live for my pals. And hope society begins to care more.
    Livyn4pals Livyn4pals 46-50, M Aug 18

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    I'm sorry in advance,

    because my issue really isn't as important as the other stories in this group. I work for my dad as a personal assistant, as I learn our trade, preparing to take over the family business. There is so much stress, so much high priority work, 3 things start today, and 4 needed...
    LittleStain LittleStain 18-21, F 4 Responses Oct 10

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    There isn't anything here worth living for.

    Your brothers and sisters are ****** up people just as lost as you looking for whatever they need to find meaning in life. Generally through reinforced belief systems of other people- which can be chosen. Yes, everyone is looking for something and some people need to believe...
    sunkern sunkern 18-21, M 1 Response Aug 31

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    i want to kill myself

    because im a terrible excuse for a human being. im anorexic and I have depression. my dad died like 6 years ago and my family is just terrible now, it's absolutely not the same. I only have one friend, but she doesn't ever care about me. I cry everyday :(
    jessicaxnguyen jessicaxnguyen 13-15, F 2 Responses Aug 18

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    I'm done!!!!! I'm tired of everyone leaving me,

    this depression is not ending any time soon, I'm a waste of space and not wanted. I even asked for help today and I didn't get it, this shows no one actually cares. Maybe tonight's the night.......
    Ki123 Ki123 18-21, F 35 Responses Dec 15, 2013

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    I hate it when people think

    that I'm joking or not being serious when I say something like this, or say that I'm just doing it for attention or anything like that. **** them! Everything I do isn't for attention, I don't hurt myself for attention I do it to take my mind off worse things in my life...
    lexigreen lexigreen 18-21, F 5 Responses Dec 9, 2013

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    I have no definite personality.

    I think I have borderline personality disorder, with one personality being cynical, cunning, narcissistic, extremely intelligent, lazy, and sadistic, another side being silly and begging for any respect or admiration, and my other side being kind, self-critical, depressed, tired...
    thedifferent thedifferent 22-25, M 1 Response Feb 10

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    I hate everything, I hate living,

    I hate everyone! No one understands!
    cam2476 cam2476 16-17, F 4 Responses Aug 27

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    Take Me Now Take Me Fast For There's Noting For Me Just Time To Past

    i don't want to live anymore there's noting for me to live for nobody understand's me nobody like's me i am broken i have spoken i am worth less i am more than dirt less i'm worth less i cant fight anymore i wont try any more unloved and i am only i am only judged...
    magicianguy magicianguy 18-21, M 2 Responses Oct 15, 2013

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    sunkern sunkern 18-21, M 1 Response Aug 22

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    you know those nights

    where those voices are so loud and strong? when the hallucinations are more visual than ever? when your aching wrists just scream blood? it's nights like these, when my mind is most messed up, that I want to commit.
    suicidegetout suicidegetout 13-15, F 5 Responses Aug 4

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    Look on the bright side,

    you're just going through a phase that when is completed, many will see a swan or a butterfly or peacock like appearance. Mesmerising to many.
    kamachulu kamachulu 22-25, M 1 Response Jul 29

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    I Miss The Old You

    i miss the days when you only talked to me the moments when i felt like there were only you and me the way you made efforts to get on and talk to me the way you calmed me down when i was mad at you the way you made me smile so happily the way we could talk things that actually...
    HakujitsuSeiten HakujitsuSeiten 18-21, F 7 Responses Aug 23, 2012

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    Im soo stupid. I had my chance at love a

    while back but i was too stupid and blind to notice she was in love with me. I messed up i just want to kill myself so i dont have to keep reliving it in my mind
    CuddlesNSnuggles CuddlesNSnuggles 13-15, M 1 Response Sep 26

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    I hate life I hate society I hate myself

    and I want to die. I don't have a bad life I have loving parents a nice home nothing to complain about there. But I don't fit in with society at all I'm a loser no one likes me I'm going to be single forever and I'm just don't agree with Society. I don't agree with society I don...
    superabe11 superabe11 16-17, M 3 Responses Jul 29

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    Im Lost...

    Ever since I was... five, i think, suicide has been appealing, and I have attempted it several times. The number of times Ive tried... I cant keep count. Recently, however, I met someone who... has done the same things as I have done, and seems to understand me. She and I... have...
    hahahalo13 hahahalo13 13-15 4 Responses Jan 13, 2013

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    Too Much Pain

    There's many reasons I can think of, but thee one I'm hurting from most is pain in my heart. Within two years I've lost my husband's family that I cherished dearly for the reason, I was raised without brothers/sister/aunts/uncles/grandma.. etc. After I felt abanded from them...
    Calif39 Calif39 36-40, F 5 Responses May 6, 2012

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    Before You Kill Yourself Or Think About It, Read This

    Are you thinking about suicide? Thinking about how, if you killed yourself, nobody would care? Think again. If you kill yourself you will change somebodies world. That's right. They will see everything differently. Just hearing your name will burn their mind with memores. They...
    prettybrowneyes1993 prettybrowneyes1993 18-21, F 5 Responses Feb 11, 2013

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    I am so lonely. I am a nice guy

    and I have some friends. People like me a lot and I have never had trouble talking to girls, but no girl has ever shown any interest in me ever. I cannot deal with it anymore.
    memph31 memph31 31-35, M 5 Responses Oct 11

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    Every one i know goes away in the end -Hurt by

    Johnny cash Every girl i like who likes me back just abandons me. They pick me up than they throw me down hard as i stumble up they kick me in the ribs. I hate it i want kill myself to end the pain and sorrow. Your probably thinking that im over reacting but put your self in my...
    CuddlesNSnuggles CuddlesNSnuggles 13-15, M 2 Responses Aug 4

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    I am a useless thing,

    I have no worth at all.I am not smart nor talented or good at anything else.I don't want to live I don't want to be me.
    wassup305 wassup305 13-15, F 3 Responses Jul 29

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    I want to kill myself

    because I just dont bother life anymore. I am to tired. I am not really sad or anything, I am just so ******* tired. I see no point in life, there is more pain than pleasure. And I am too tired to do the same thing every single day.
    Amidala97 Amidala97 16-17, F 4 Responses Apr 8

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