I Want to Kill My Self Because of This

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 907 People

    my best friend is in the hospital he's been

    there for 3 days now and he's unresponsive and there not sure if he's going to make it I don't think I would make it without him and it's my fault he called me 9 times that night and I wasn't there for him
    Kidsinthedark Kidsinthedark
    13-15, F
    1 Response Aug 15, 2015

    **** where do I begin.

    First off. My family don't even care wether I'm alive or dead, in fact if I was living in an apartment by myself and if I dropped dead. It would probably take at least one year before my body is discovered and my family would still think I'm alive at the time. I have made bad...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    2 Responses Feb 23

    I've Felt This Way For As Long As I Can Remember

    My name is Matt and I'm a 21 year old college student.  I have been unhappy my whole life.  I've tried just about every medication out there for depression, only to find that it's not what's in my head that makes me sad, but what is all around me.  I've always been...
    toolfan714 toolfan714
    18-21, M
    12 Responses Oct 1, 2009

    everyone I've ever met has used me,

    it ****** me off that i keep going so far and am blinded from seeing it. idk if I'm even worth having around on this earth these days. i just got used again about an hour ago after me and my "gf" were cuddling happy as can be when her ex pulls up and they go to his place to...
    decox decox
    41-45, M
    Nov 23, 2015

    Too Much Pain

    There's many reasons I can think of, but thee one I'm hurting from most is pain in my heart. Within two years I've lost my husband's family that I cherished dearly for the reason, I was raised without brothers/sister/aunts/uncles/grandma.. etc. After I felt abanded from them...
    Calif39 Calif39
    36-40, F
    5 Responses May 6, 2012

    I've tried for so long.

    . I've tried being a good person.. but good things don't happen to good people. I should've known that. I'm done hiding. I'm depressed, I've been depressed for almost 7 years..I hate myself so much.. I hate the world even more.. I'm worthless.. I've learned that.. not much to say...
    AMadMindInTheDark AMadMindInTheDark
    18-21, F
    Sep 22, 2015

    Take Me Now Take Me Fast For There's Noting For Me Just Time To Past

    i don't want to live anymore there's noting for me to live for nobody understand's me nobody like's me i am broken i have spoken i am worth less i am more than dirt less i'm worth less i cant fight anymore i wont try any more unloved and i am only i am only judged...
    magicianguy magicianguy
    18-21, M
    2 Responses Oct 15, 2013

    Wanna kill yourself? Imagine this.

    You come home from school one day. You’ve had yet another horrible day. You’re just ready to give up. So you go to your room, close the door, and take out that suicide note you’ve written and rewritten over and over and over. You take out those razor blades, and cut for...
    Theguy0298 Theguy0298
    18-21, M
    2 Responses Jan 19, 2015

    Monday night I almost killed myself.

    but i cried till I fell asleep. **** I wish I killed myself right then. I almost killed myself because I'm to much of a burden...... that's why everyone leaves me..... I can't go through another break up..... or anything else.... if my x couldn't handle me..... then no one can...
    100BlackRoses 100BlackRoses
    16-17, F
    Sep 25, 2015
    IloveAj2345 IloveAj2345
    13-15, F
    10 Responses Nov 3, 2014

    This is something that I made on a note card

    about the issue or urges of suicide and self-harm. In this moment where are my thoughts and feelings on the issue of my self-harm (cutting & suicide). As powerful as they may be thoughts are nothing but thoughts, as a feeling is nothing more then a feeling they are not a think...
    mlcockrell mlcockrell
    41-45, M
    1 Response Dec 15, 2013

    I have wanted to kill my self

    so many times before, just to end it all and be free. One day I was planing my ending and listening to sad music on YouTube (cliche I know) when I saw this one video called watch if you know anyone that's suicidal, even you. http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=cETHTPeGvEc That's...
    lost1234567 lost1234567
    18-21, F
    Mar 10, 2014

    I really want to kill myself.

    My life is going on horribly. My mother has psychotic depression, she has been on an affair for 9 years & has just recently stopped after being diagnosed with psychotic depression, & we aren't the wealthiest family out there. My dad use to be a gambler. I'm labeled as stupid in...
    mangoseed mangoseed
    18-21, F
    1 Response Aug 22, 2015

    Are you serious just kill me

    now I'm done with people I can't do this anymore
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    Aug 8, 2015

    I'm done!!!!! I'm tired of everyone leaving me,

    this depression is not ending any time soon, I'm a waste of space and not wanted. I even asked for help today and I didn't get it, this shows no one actually cares. Maybe tonight's the night.......
    Ki123 Ki123
    22-25, F
    34 Responses Dec 15, 2013

    I want to kill my self.

    I have a kid so my life is not my own but I fantasize about it more and more. I'm so tired of feeling this way. people promised I'd feel better but it's been years with no end in sight. I can't tell my friends or family how I feel so I'm saying it here. I've failed I want to...
    monkeyl1v3r monkeyl1v3r
    36-40, M
    1 Response Sep 12, 2015

    Hey everyone, I'm 13

    and I live in the U.S. And I want a suicide partner, I just can't live like this anymore, please message me if you wanna join me. I want to either shoot myself, jump off a cliff/high building, poison myself with carbon monoxide, or hang myself.
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    Aug 4, 2015

    I hate life I hate society I hate myself

    and I want to die. I don't have a bad life I have loving parents a nice home nothing to complain about there. But I don't fit in with society at all I'm a loser no one likes me I'm going to be single forever and I'm just don't agree with Society. I don't agree with society I don...
    superabe11 superabe11
    18-21, M
    2 Responses Jul 29, 2014

    If you are suicidal, please get help

    if you can't find help within yourself. But, please, do not seek help from your teenage friends, especially if they struggle with their own issues. Please please please. Not only are you being subjected to the hurtful things your brain says to you, you subject others to it. You...
    junipersun21 junipersun21
    18-21, F
    1 Response Mar 12, 2015

    Haha, well here goes nothing.

    .. I went to a gas station during my lunch break, what could possibly go wrong? I bought a pack of red licorice, how could this possibly turn into a disaster? One of my friends and I are walking around (while holding the licorice), my crush and her best friend walk up to me and...
    Venum21 Venum21
    13-15, M
    Nov 7, 2015

    Nursing school. What a terrible Hell

    that I am living in. Nursing school is making me hate nursing. There is so much bullshit and it shouldn't be so stressful. I won't ever do half the **** I'm learning. I won't quit though because I'm supposed to graduate in 2 months. I might have to retake a class though. I'd...
    LadyLunaa LadyLunaa
    18-21, F
    3 Responses Mar 4

    I'm Me...

    I was beaten. I was emotionally abused. I was molested at the age of eight... I'm worthless, there is no possible way I could ever be something. The pain is just to much to deal with. No one even gives a damn. People even say I should. They're right... Why should I keeping going...
    MairuOrihara MairuOrihara
    13-15, F
    3 Responses Sep 21, 2013

    Before You Kill Yourself Or Think About It, Read This

    Are you thinking about suicide? Thinking about how, if you killed yourself, nobody would care? Think again. If you kill yourself you will change somebodies world. That's right. They will see everything differently. Just hearing your name will burn their mind with memores. They...
    prettybrowneyes1993 prettybrowneyes1993
    18-21, F
    9 Responses Feb 11, 2013

    Why Muslim Must Hate Me This Much??

    i am indonesian... i am really sorry if my grammar such an awfull... i am christian... i live as christian for 25 years old now... i work in company which muslim is the majority... they do not seem to open their heart about anything that i do... everything that i do is like...
    lonelynicky lonelynicky
    22-25
    10 Responses Jan 8, 2009

    My parents don't understand my situations ,

    my mom has health problems,my dads leg is injured ,the boy I talked to yesterday is lying to me saying he feels something strong for me...I have no loyal friends.feels like there's no one by my side no more .I just came too say in worthless&ugly
    3505097j 3505097j
    13-15, F
    1 Response Nov 7, 2015

    I can't do anything right.

    ..I met this amazing girl but I think I've broken her heart without even trying this is why I wasn't suppose to be born
    Isaokomori22 Isaokomori22
    18-21, M
    Feb 18

    I Miss The Old You

    i miss the days when you only talked to me the moments when i felt like there were only you and me the way you made efforts to get on and talk to me the way you calmed me down when i was mad at you the way you made me smile so happily the way we could talk things that actually...
    HakujitsuSeiten HakujitsuSeiten
    18-21, F
    6 Responses Aug 23, 2012

    I'm at that crossroad

    where I won't necessarily commit suicide but if I happen to be crossing the road and a car happened to be driving towards me, I wouldn't move away.
    Sib232228 Sib232228
    16-17, F
    2 Responses Aug 9, 2015

    School is so stressful.

    In one of my classes my teacher moves at such a fast pace no one in his class can keep up. It stresses me out so much. I can't take all of that stress on top of all of the anxieties from everything else. I really just want it all to end. I'm afraid that I won't be able to fight...
    mickey123xp mickey123xp
    16-17, F
    1 Response Mar 13

    I just can't carry on like this,

    my friend has something of mine, I don't know how he got it but he's got it, he's got it once before and who knows how many other times he's got them, I saw it on it phone for a brief second today. I seriously don't know how u best friend could do this to me for so long and...
    chumbucket123 chumbucket123
    13-15, M
    2 Responses Apr 15

    I really don't see a reason not to.

    I feel as if I have no future and living would just cause me to be more miserable. I find it hard to believe that people love and care about me, so why not? I've found that I'm not even scared of dying, that the only thing that's really keeping me alive is that I'm scared of...
    xSweetPea xSweetPea
    18-21, F
    Dec 26, 2013

    I'm Not Even Scared Anymore.

    I'm not scared of the thought of death anymore. I simply just want to end my life and call it quits. I've always had an issue with depression and staying positive but this really just pushes me to the edge. I've always been bad when it comes to academics, the last time I had...
    Sennasenpaiz Sennasenpaiz
    18-21, F
    5 Responses May 9, 2012

    i havnt been on here

    for quite some time. but recently i have seen myself slipping worse than i used to be fofore. im starting to think of death more and i keep thinking over and over again about shooting myself in the head. i have nobody to turn to and i just dont know what to do with myself. i...
    Searching4MyJuliet Searching4MyJuliet
    22-25, M
    Jul 21, 2015

    Drugs..Rape..Hate..Cutting..Burning..Drownding In My Own Tears...

    don't get me wrong I am thankful for the life god gave me..but I honestly have no ******* clue why he put me here everything I seem to do is wrong! taylor do this taylor u dident do that right.. whats wrong with you taylor.. grow up taylor I feel dead to my self..i don't know...
    taylor1234325 taylor1234325
    13-15, F
    1 Response Apr 8, 2013

    First of all, unless u have a brain

    and understand mental illness, stop reading this. Mental illness is a brain illness. You hurt. You feel like death is your companion. You swear. You can't sleep. Or all u do is sleep. Or u r overactive.. Bizarre. You feel panicky, heart attack. You feel like you weigh a ton...
    Suckstobemee Suckstobemee
    41-45, M
    1 Response Sep 19, 2015

    My family fight constantly giving me anxiety my

    friends aren't there anymore and the one part of my life that made me smile just got taken away from me ...
    UndeservingA UndeservingA
    16-17, F
    2 Responses Nov 8, 2015

    My Mother.

    My mother; No, she's not abusive or a bad person. She's tried reaching out to me, but she just doesn't know how; She's the closest anyone has ever come to trying though. Sure, she's just like anyone else, she can say hurtful things every now and then. But then I look and see how...
    SkinnyThoughtsAndRedLipstick SkinnyThoughtsAndRedLipstick
    18-21, F
    2 Responses Feb 23, 2013

    I just want to accend,

    there's nothing here for me. I don't need to deal with this stress. It should all just come naturally but this isn't.
    isgd isgd
    18-21, M
    Dec 22, 2015

    "Are you searching for purpose?

    Then write something, yeah it might be worthless Then paint something then, it might be wordless Pointless curses, nonsense verses You'll see purpose start to surface No one else is dealing with your demons Meaning maybe defeating them Could be the beginning of your meaning...
    awfullyscaredofeverything awfullyscaredofeverything
    18-21, F
    Oct 13, 2015

    Hello everyone. I want to keep this short

    and simply. I have been going through a depression lately because my family found out that I'm a crossdresser. And I have been thinking and wanting to kill to myself and I finally decided that I'm going to kill myself. I have the noose already in a apartment I just rented for...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    1 Response Sep 7, 2015

    Untitled

    You know what's funny? How you told me you'd be my santuary until I'm back on my feet. The funnier thing? I wasn't ever back up on my feet when you stopped being my santuary. You promised that you'd make me take at least the majority of my stress away. All you had to do was keep...
    catchmeimfalling catchmeimfalling
    16-17
    Mar 4, 2013

    Can I just kill myself now?

    No one would really care in the long run, plus people will be better off without my mopey attitude around them. Mostly because I'm failing college and not making enough money to live on my own are the key reasons i want to off myself. Then my mom and sister hate me for all the...
    WinterSkyout WinterSkyout
    18-21, F
    2 Responses Nov 7, 2015

    Tired!

    i don't know how i should describe this OR what i should say, but i really feel that i'm not able to make meaning out of my own words. there's not just a single reason or a person to blame and on top of that i just hate the "what if " condition! i'm tired of people around me, i'm...
    ar93 ar93
    22-25, M
    5 Responses Dec 1, 2013

    -I'm stupid -I can never keep friends

    because of how stupid I am -I hate life
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    5 Responses Mar 25

    I hum under my voice

    and you think I made a sigh so you literally scream at me!?!? F U!!!! I start to lose the will to give a flying F if you got problems. Just cause your bipolar and emotionally handicap dosnt mean I should suffer every day! God f ing dammit...... but dont worry, ill sit here like...
    DeathAngelS300 DeathAngelS300
    18-21, F
    3 Responses Jan 19, 2015

    where to start huh? well.

    . Im a 22 year old virgin, I have no proper friends that I can rely on because they are all preoccupied with their boyfriends, I hate the people I'm in college with and Im 2 years in to the course and still don't know if it's the right course for me... I'm lonely, confused...
    BeeKay20 BeeKay20
    22-25, F
    1 Response Nov 14, 2015

    I Want It To Be Over Already

    In order to keep functioning on a daily basis, I've had to make a deal with myself that I would never live to see thirty. I am turning 26. I'm not holding it together, it's like slapping tar paper over a leak when the roof is about to implode at any second. My friends keep...
    BlueSelkie BlueSelkie
    26-30, F
    1 Response Jan 13, 2013

    Im Lost...

    Ever since I was... five, i think, suicide has been appealing, and I have attempted it several times. The number of times Ive tried... I cant keep count. Recently, however, I met someone who... has done the same things as I have done, and seems to understand me. She and I... have...
    hahahalo13 hahahalo13
    13-15
    4 Responses Jan 13, 2013

    I was raped when I was 17.

    I was at a 4th of July party with a lot of my friends. Not one friend tried to help me or take care of me when it was obvious I drank way too much, when I couldn't sit up let alone stand or walk. Not one friend helped me after I was blacked out, I don't think they even noticed...
    MyMindCravesNectar MyMindCravesNectar
    22-25, F
    14 Responses Dec 27, 2013

    When I was 12 my mothers boyfriend raped me

    and took my virginity. My mom told me I was a liar and that I "wanted her man" when I was thirteen she threw me out of the house telling me and I quote "I will choose him over you any day!" So I left. I spend the first couple of days hungry tired and just stressed sleeping on...
    Kenjitsu Kenjitsu
    22-25, F
    3 Responses May 21, 2015

    Life is challenging me lately,

    every day in summer vacation is a busy day,with no time toeven relax,I'm starting to lose it,and the worst thing is that my mom kept on nagging me all the fking time and I'm sick of it,if she hates me THAT much,I'd rather kill myself
    avengerthesoulmyhate avengerthesoulmyhate
    13-15, F
    1 Response Aug 18, 2015

    All I can think about lately is the comforting

    dark embrace of Nothingness. I hate my life and I'm mad this is how my life is. I do just about everything on my own. I'm getting married in a month to a man I do truly love.... But he doesn't pull his weight. God, here come the tears now.. I pay for most of our bills. I've had...
    LadyLunaa LadyLunaa
    18-21, F
    2 Responses Jul 20, 2015

    I Can'T

    I can't deal. I'm such a failure.
    inkedmommy inkedmommy
    22-25, F
    6 Responses Oct 26, 2013

    I'm 44 with no hope of employment

    because I spent the last 5 years at home with my girls. I hate their father...he comes home from work and lays in bed and plays video games til the next morning when he leaves for work. i can't throw him the hell out of my house, which is all mine, because I can't find a job. I...
    lucismom lucismom
    41-45, F
    2 Responses May 8, 2015

    I'm am so heartbroken over my decision.

    ... why did I kill something that was only put here to have unconditional love... I murdered it... even though it was brain dead I murdered it.
    deniseee deniseee
    22-25, F
    1 Response Sep 26, 2015

    I don't know any of you.

    But here me out. I want to help you. Suicide isn't the answer and I'm sure you hear that a lot but you are all strong people to have made it this far, you can't deny that. You can make it farther. I will help you I want to help you, but life doesn't end here. You have an entire...
    kxCobra kxCobra
    18-21, F
    Mar 29, 2014

    I am sad. I will finally admit this.

    This doesn't mean I am weak or I am not competent or worthless. It basically means I am in a lot emotional pain and turmoil that wasn't acknowledged or dealt with since my depression which lasted forever. I need help and I need to heal but I feel hopeless and don't know how to...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    3 Responses Jan 22

    well its time to get drunk

    and slit my wrist
    sexylexi696969 sexylexi696969
    18-21, T
    2 Responses Oct 13, 2015
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