Post
Experience Project iOS Android Apps | Download EP for your Mobile Device

I Want to Kill My Self Because of This

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 855 People

    I've Felt This Way For As Long As I Can Remember

    My name is Matt and I'm a 21 year old college student.  I have been unhappy my whole life.  I've tried just about every medication out there for depression, only to find that it's not what's in my head that makes me sad, but what is all around me.  I've always been...
    toolfan714 toolfan714 18-21, M 13 Responses Oct 1, 2009

    Your Response

    Cancel

    No one can take care of me.

    I know I'm 16 but I'm still a child. No one at home doesn't take care of me no more. I haven't done anything. I'm totally lost and I don't know what to do. I lost my believe on God and I don't want to do that either. I need someone. I need to get out of this place and now I want...
    flirthypanda flirthypanda 16-17, F 2 Responses Oct 20, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Im Lost...

    Ever since I was... five, i think, suicide has been appealing, and I have attempted it several times. The number of times Ive tried... I cant keep count. Recently, however, I met someone who... has done the same things as I have done, and seems to understand me. She and I... have...
    hahahalo13 hahahalo13 13-15 4 Responses Jan 13, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    If you are suicidal, please get help

    if you can't find help within yourself. But, please, do not seek help from your teenage friends, especially if they struggle with their own issues. Please please please. Not only are you being subjected to the hurtful things your brain says to you, you subject others to it. You...
    junipersun21 junipersun21 18-21, F Mar 12

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I Want It To Be Over Already

    In order to keep functioning on a daily basis, I've had to make a deal with myself that I would never live to see thirty. I am turning 26. I'm not holding it together, it's like slapping tar paper over a leak when the roof is about to implode at any second. My friends keep...
    BlueSelkie BlueSelkie 22-25, F 2 Responses Jan 13, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I tricked hundreds of good people.

    I hurt an innocent person. Someone so sweet that I would rather die than have this happen to her. I can hear it now. You did this you should take responsibility. Killing yourself is an escape. Deal with your problems you coward. It says I want. Not I will. I don't deserve death...
    ChangingFaces5 ChangingFaces5 26-30 1 Response Nov 28, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I'm Not Even Scared Anymore.

    I'm not scared of the thought of death anymore. I simply just want to end my life and call it quits. I've always had an issue with depression and staying positive but this really just pushes me to the edge. I've always been bad when it comes to academics, the last time I had...
    Sennasenpaiz Sennasenpaiz 18-21, F 8 Responses May 9, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Drugs..Rape..Hate..Cutting..Burning..Drownding In My Own Tears...

    don't get me wrong I am thankful for the life god gave me..but I honestly have no ******* clue why he put me here everything I seem to do is wrong! taylor do this taylor u dident do that right.. whats wrong with you taylor.. grow up taylor I feel dead to my self..i don't know...
    taylor1234325 taylor1234325 13-15, F 1 Response Apr 8, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel
    lamiavarc lamiavarc 16-17, F 5 Responses Nov 28, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I'm miserable! Me and my wife separated a year

    and a half ago. We are going thru a divorce. My wife has a lawyer and i dont. She has money and i dont. I was the stay at home parent to my 2 children and now I hardly see them. I'm very sad and angry. I have no friends or family and am completely alone. Me and my wife got in a...
    aschlee aschlee 31-35 1 Response Feb 21

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I want to kill myself.

    I hate being alive. I hate me. I hate life. Why am I still alive?
    drawmysmile drawmysmile 16-17, F 5 Responses Dec 27, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Why Muslim Must Hate Me This Much??

    i am indonesian... i am really sorry if my grammar such an awfull... i am christian... i live as christian for 25 years old now... i work in company which muslim is the majority... they do not seem to open their heart about anything that i do... everything that i do is like...
    lonelynicky lonelynicky 22-25 11 Responses Jan 8, 2009

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I want to kill myself

    because I just dont bother life anymore. I am to tired. I am not really sad or anything, I am just so ******* tired. I see no point in life, there is more pain than pleasure. And I am too tired to do the same thing every single day.
    Amidala97 Amidala97 16-17, F 4 Responses Apr 8, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    There's not a day that goes by

    that I dont think of suicide. There's not a moment in my miserable life that I feel like is worth living. And I try to reach out. I'm on my knees begging for help and nobody comes. Nobody believes there's anything wrong. Everyone thinks I'm overreacting. That I'm faking it. And...
    NowhereKid NowhereKid 16-17, F 1 Response Jun 26, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I have no definite personality.

    I think I have borderline personality disorder, with one personality being cynical, cunning, narcissistic, extremely intelligent, lazy, and sadistic, another side being silly and begging for any respect or admiration, and my other side being kind, self-critical, depressed, tired...
    thedifferent thedifferent 22-25, M 1 Response Feb 10, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I'm done trying. like I'm done that's it.

    I'm going to kill myself. no one cares that I have feelings or that I have a different sexuality. I don't care anymore. I just know that I'm going to kill myself. when I don't know but its going to be soon so no one has to worry about me being a burden or anything anymore. I'm...
    lovehate1994 lovehate1994 18-21, F 5 Responses Oct 15, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    A gun store 11 miles away.

    Really? Not a question. An exclamation. Really though?
    ChangingFaces5 ChangingFaces5 26-30 Dec 4, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Untitled

    You know what's funny? How you told me you'd be my santuary until I'm back on my feet. The funnier thing? I wasn't ever back up on my feet when you stopped being my santuary. You promised that you'd make me take at least the majority of my stress away. All you had to do was keep...
    catchmeimfalling catchmeimfalling 16-17 Mar 4, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I know I seem like an attention craving teenager

    who is only saying this for attention but I really want to die. I really do
    thewriterwithpower thewriterwithpower 13-15, M 7 Responses Jan 16

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Before You Kill Yourself Or Think About It, Read This

    Are you thinking about suicide? Thinking about how, if you killed yourself, nobody would care? Think again. If you kill yourself you will change somebodies world. That's right. They will see everything differently. Just hearing your name will burn their mind with memores. They...
    prettybrowneyes1993 prettybrowneyes1993 18-21, F 7 Responses Feb 11, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I don't know any of you.

    But here me out. I want to help you. Suicide isn't the answer and I'm sure you hear that a lot but you are all strong people to have made it this far, you can't deny that. You can make it farther. I will help you I want to help you, but life doesn't end here. You have an entire...
    kxCobra kxCobra 18-21, F Mar 29, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    There are plenty of things

    that I will never understand. How other people behave, why I was never good enough, why this is happening, why we're different. I am the kind of person who cherishes intellect and it kills me to know that I'll just never figure this out. That I'm always going to be in the...
    lydiathethingy lydiathethingy 13-15, F Oct 22, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    i lay aging in my bed think about myself

    and cant sleep , i cry now for 2 hours and Start cut my arms and hope the pain let me sleep i want to die so much no sleepless nights more or so just sleep forever ;-;
    jassikitty jassikitty 18-21, F Jan 18

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I keep screwing up all my friends hate me my

    own dad has said im a screw up it would be best if im gone
    Insane0k Insane0k 13-15, F 4 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    The time is nearing for me to do this.

    After passing my seventeenth birthday the adult life and demands are seeping in, and life is becoming even more cruel. I always fight to get what I want in life, but I've been fighting so hard for some things and I literally can do nothing more, unless I had a large amount of...
    maurylight maurylight 18-21, F Jan 27

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I'm sorry in advance,

    because my issue really isn't as important as the other stories in this group. I work for my dad as a personal assistant, as I learn our trade, preparing to take over the family business. There is so much stress, so much high priority work, 3 things start today, and 4 needed...
    LittleStain LittleStain 18-21, F 4 Responses Oct 10, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I hate my life so much 😩 people ain't

    treating me good at all 😔
    frankcartergbe frankcartergbe 16-17, M 3 Responses Jan 6

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Because of me not feeling wanted.

    I want someone to want me. I want to feel loved. Why can't I have happiness like everyone else? I'm so unlucky it should be considered a talent or some type of magical power. I just want someone who's there for me. I'm not asking for much all I ask for is to feel wanted.
    IILoveHarryII IILoveHarryII 13-15, F 1 Response Feb 11

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Too Much Pain

    There's many reasons I can think of, but thee one I'm hurting from most is pain in my heart. Within two years I've lost my husband's family that I cherished dearly for the reason, I was raised without brothers/sister/aunts/uncles/grandma.. etc. After I felt abanded from them...
    Calif39 Calif39 36-40, F 5 Responses May 6, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I'm ready to just forget

    and go...go on forever and never come back...
    nomnommings nomnommings 16-17, F Feb 28

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I have wanted to kill my self

    so many times before, just to end it all and be free. One day I was planing my ending and listening to sad music on YouTube (cliche I know) when I saw this one video called watch if you know anyone that's suicidal, even you. http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=cETHTPeGvEc That's...
    lost1234567 lost1234567 16-17, F Mar 10, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    i want to kill myself cause i have no one any

    more cant run away cause i don't have nowhere to go and no one to do it with
    columbus38 columbus38 16-17, M 2 Responses Dec 18, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    My Mother.

    My mother; No, she's not abusive or a bad person. She's tried reaching out to me, but she just doesn't know how; She's the closest anyone has ever come to trying though. Sure, she's just like anyone else, she can say hurtful things every now and then. But then I look and see how...
    SkinnyThoughtsAndRedLipstick SkinnyThoughtsAndRedLipstick 18-21, F 2 Responses Feb 23, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I was raped when I was 17.

    I was at a 4th of July party with a lot of my friends. Not one friend tried to help me or take care of me when it was obvious I drank way too much, when I couldn't sit up let alone stand or walk. Not one friend helped me after I was blacked out, I don't think they even noticed...
    MyMindCravesNectar MyMindCravesNectar 18-21, F 15 Responses Dec 27, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I Can'T

    I can't deal. I'm such a failure.
    inkedmommy inkedmommy 22-25, F 6 Responses Oct 26, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I'm tired of every one

    and thing v.v why do I bother trying to keep myself happy when I'm not just shoot me
    Alonzoisgay Alonzoisgay 13-15, M 1 Response Oct 20, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Wanna kill yourself? Imagine this.

    You come home from school one day. You’ve had yet another horrible day. You’re just ready to give up. So you go to your room, close the door, and take out that suicide note you’ve written and rewritten over and over and over. You take out those razor blades, and cut for...
    Theguy0298 Theguy0298 16-17, M 1 Response Jan 19

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I really don't see a reason not to.

    I feel as if I have no future and living would just cause me to be more miserable. I find it hard to believe that people love and care about me, so why not? I've found that I'm not even scared of dying, that the only thing that's really keeping me alive is that I'm scared of...
    xSweetPea xSweetPea 18-21, F 1 Response Dec 26, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I'm done!!!!! I'm tired of everyone leaving me,

    this depression is not ending any time soon, I'm a waste of space and not wanted. I even asked for help today and I didn't get it, this shows no one actually cares. Maybe tonight's the night.......
    Ki123 Ki123 18-21, F 35 Responses Dec 15, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I Miss The Old You

    i miss the days when you only talked to me the moments when i felt like there were only you and me the way you made efforts to get on and talk to me the way you calmed me down when i was mad at you the way you made me smile so happily the way we could talk things that actually...
    HakujitsuSeiten HakujitsuSeiten 18-21, F 7 Responses Aug 23, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I hate life I hate society I hate myself

    and I want to die. I don't have a bad life I have loving parents a nice home nothing to complain about there. But I don't fit in with society at all I'm a loser no one likes me I'm going to be single forever and I'm just don't agree with Society. I don't agree with society I don...
    superabe11 superabe11 16-17, M 3 Responses Jul 29, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Tired!

    i don't know how i should describe this OR what i should say, but i really feel that i'm not able to make meaning out of my own words. there's not just a single reason or a person to blame and on top of that i just hate the "what if " condition! i'm tired of people around me, i'm...
    ar93 ar93 18-21, M 5 Responses Dec 1, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    This is something that I made on a note card

    about the issue or urges of suicide and self-harm. In this moment where are my thoughts and feelings on the issue of my self-harm (cutting & suicide). As powerful as they may be thoughts are nothing but thoughts, as a feeling is nothing more then a feeling they are not a think...
    mlcockrell mlcockrell 36-40, M 1 Response Dec 15, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Take Me Now Take Me Fast For There's Noting For Me Just Time To Past

    i don't want to live anymore there's noting for me to live for nobody understand's me nobody like's me i am broken i have spoken i am worth less i am more than dirt less i'm worth less i cant fight anymore i wont try any more unloved and i am only i am only judged...
    magicianguy magicianguy 18-21, M 2 Responses Oct 15, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    One of my mates killed themself last week,

    I went to his funeral but all I could think was how it should be me in that coffin. I've probably been feeling pretty depressed since I was 14 (I'm now 16) and the thought just keep getting worse, I hate my life even though I have no reason to, it's just the fact I have nothing...
    drawmysmile drawmysmile 16-17, F 3 Responses Dec 23, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel